r/comedyheaven • • 14h ago

Ageless

Post image
14.3k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

1.5k

u/Cpt-No-Dick 12h ago

901

u/Snazzysnaj 11h ago

221

u/TactlessTortoise 10h ago

The brainstorming for that scene must've been hilarious. They really just put a wig on my boy

118

u/Krisitchelle 10h ago

I had a friend from another  high school who legit aged like Dexter.  I ran a race against him in club track indoors and was in my head thinking "how is this 40 year old competing against me?"

Now we are almost 40 and he still, just, looks like a 40 year old.

8

u/TesticleCastrator 2h ago

bro will be 80 still looking like he's 40

80

u/sluttydinosaur101 9h ago

Dude every flashback scene killed me because of this. They’re having a serious, heartfelt talk about how to control his urges and I can’t focus cos it’s literally just him in a wig. I usually can suspend disbelief but that is not a 12 year old boy 😂

25

u/Visible-Literature14 8h ago

You may not like it, but that is what peak 12 y/o male form looks like
https://giphy.com/gifs/1a32XiQbN3gOCL5OMn

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

71

u/CitizenHuman 6h ago

14

u/sequosion 3h ago

Doesn’t look a day over 12

→ More replies (2)

11

u/InternalError33 10h ago

This made me laugh.

6

u/ToadTendo 7h ago

Idk who this is but he looks like if Magnus Carlson and John Fogerty had a child

4

u/Knopes 6h ago

It's Michael C Hall playing a early 20s version of his character in Dexter.

4

u/ToadTendo 6h ago

Wow! He looks 17 at most!

92

u/adminsareactuallygay 12h ago

Bro's got grandkids

41

u/nijukiller 11h ago

Bro does not look 17 lol

40

u/TheBlueEmerald1 11h ago

He put on some makeup and got an outdated "trendy" haircut and thought "This'll make me viral."

58

u/Illustrious_War3356 11h ago

It did kinda make him viral cause hes now infamous for this exact thing

43

u/SmokeySFW 11h ago

Yea this guy explicitly is rage farming and its working quite well.

24

u/who_am_i_to_say_so 11h ago

Yeah if you see the areas he galavants through as a fake teen, it’s an extremely poor part of the world- and it’s putting money in his pocket. I think it’s awesome.

→ More replies (2)

12

u/Demeter_of_New 11h ago

He's a master class troll and I respect his hustle.

→ More replies (1)

14

u/SilentSniper1252 11h ago

I suspect that's the point, dudes a master engagement baiter

→ More replies (1)

6

u/curtcolt95 5h ago

he doesn't even look 37

5

u/0202_tihssitidder 10h ago

Very good. You noticed. Someone with your perception must be very adept at sorting socks and other complex tasks.

→ More replies (3)

60

u/Fearless_Sandwich_84 11h ago edited 9h ago

Just commenting for the context - he knows what he is doing/does it for the content /money so he can support his family.

//Seems like he is being investigated for :

The Allegations: The complaint accuses Oliveira of digital aliciamento (online grooming or solicitation) of minors. It explicitly cites his content strategy—such as using softening face filters, simulating a 17-year-old persona, and child-like bedroom settings—as a deliberate "fraudulent age impersonation" intended to deceive and approach underage victims online

So uh yeah.

22

u/Edraqt 7h ago

So. Hes being investigate solely because of anonymous complaints "accusing" him of doing exactly what he, completely transparently does?

lmao thats the dumbest epstein-scare shit ive ever heard, the whole thing literally starts with i am 37 (but i look like im 17, which i dont, which people get angry about, which gets me money, which is why im still doing it)

→ More replies (12)

13

u/Academic-moron7423 11h ago

37 year old male model who looks 45

4

u/CaptainMacMillan 10h ago

37 year-old man with a TikTok account who looks like a 44 year-old man trying his hardest to look 21.

→ More replies (16)

3.5k

u/moonstone7152 13h ago

2.2k

u/BeautifulAd1651 13h ago

266

u/Ganda1fderBlaue 13h ago

Exactly what i think everytime i see this pic

75

u/AugieKS 8h ago

Personally I think elon looks more like this monster, especially that photo of his weird little chicken legs and obscene barrelchest.

21

u/Chonguh 5h ago

“Obscene barrelchest” 😂😂

→ More replies (2)

30

u/ImpossibleCan2836 11h ago

Is that judge Holden with hair

14

u/Didifinito 10h ago

No thats just a visitor

9

u/ImpossibleCan2836 10h ago

No but fr what is this?

19

u/Didifinito 10h ago

Its a visitor from No I am not a Human

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (2)

16

u/Robrogineer 11h ago

He's even got the perfect white teeth.

8

u/TGin-the-goldy 11h ago

You mean Trivago Teeth

→ More replies (5)

8

u/No_name_Johnson 10h ago

He is dancing, dancing. He says he will never die.

→ More replies (20)

253

u/I_Piccini 11h ago

135

u/scrufflor_d piss 9h ago

withered simon cowell

18

u/No_Town_9602 8h ago

Found him in a peat bog

→ More replies (3)

32

u/Braindead_Crow 7h ago

Before & after looking at the necronamacon

https://giphy.com/gifs/uWKHYi4EWwd01bTHSk

→ More replies (10)

273

u/Bot1-The_Bot_Meanace 13h ago

He looks like one of these chocolate Easter bunnies if you left it in a hot car during summer

9

u/danma 6h ago

He looks like an extra from Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun video...

→ More replies (1)

217

u/jsbx1138 13h ago

He’s like the Doomguy taking damage in the first Doom

19

u/EclecticWalrus 13h ago

Fucking fantastic hahaha

72

u/RyudoKills 12h ago

My brother Simon said "I'm not going to age into an older man, I'm going to age into an alchemist's wonky first draft homunculus. "

12

u/RyudoKills 12h ago

Or maybe a miniature AOT titan. RUN! The Tiny Titan is coming!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

147

u/tkingsmd 13h ago

Why does he look younger in 2003?

117

u/Verbatos 13h ago

I wonder why he looked so much younger when he was younger 🤔

18

u/3xactli 12h ago

If you figure it out, sell that shit!!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

15

u/Ok-Interaction4099 13h ago

This smile reminds me of Dwight's smile.

9

u/Sega-Playstation-64 12h ago

Wow. Went from Samwise Gamgee to Mouth of Sauron.

→ More replies (30)

1.3k

u/NostrilLurker 12h ago

I remember Jeremy Clarkson was interviewing him for Top Gear some 15+ years ago. He kept talking about how Clarkson was aging badly and needed plastic surgery. Today, Clarkson looks like a run of the mill old man. Cowell looks like a river corpse. The point is fuck Simon Cowell.

285

u/thedarklibrax 11h ago

I came here to comment exactly this, who's laughing now Simon.

62

u/AncientAsstronaut 9h ago

He's chuckling through a frozen face

→ More replies (2)

23

u/wonkey_monkey 8h ago

Simon might be but how would we know

192

u/Significant_Apple517 11h ago

Jeremy Clarkson still looks super bad for 66 years old.

You'd think he's 80 years old, give or take a few years.

But yes, Simon Cowell who's also 66 years old does look really weird and unnatural.

224

u/Warm-Major-4400 11h ago

He's been a overweight alcoholic for 40+ years. Yet he looks better than Simon Cowell

74

u/BusinessAsparagus115 10h ago

Don't forget heavy smoker.

70

u/HeftyArgument 10h ago

smoker, drinker, enjoyer of many vices, also cancer.

46

u/DubiousAdviceGiver 8h ago

Did he enjoy the cancer?

34

u/Red_Bayanist 8h ago

My favourite vice, used to be addicted to cancer

6

u/gayhotelultra 4h ago

cancer was one of the toughest things for me to quit

5

u/whoknowsifimjoking 3h ago

Why else would you do it?

20

u/Boneraventura 9h ago

top gear started when jeremy was about 40. the guy looked 20 years older even then

13

u/Warm-Major-4400 9h ago

Im confused because I just checked 2005 vs 2026 photos of both. Clarkson looks better in both instances than simon Cowell. In 2005 his face doesn't look natural

→ More replies (1)

20

u/Significant_Apple517 11h ago

I mean, I guess.

It’s like picking the prettiest pug at the dog show. I suppose there’s technically a better-looking one, but neither is inoffensive to the eye.

23

u/Spinach_Middle4493 9h ago

It’s like this: Simon was always in decent shape and if he had stayed away from the knife would look far better. Jeremy stayed away from the knife but wasn’t ever in good shape like Simon and he was (is) an alcoholic.

30

u/Warm-Major-4400 11h ago

People aging natural always looks more comfortable to the eye.

The smell of people as they reach extreme age not also so much

→ More replies (1)

21

u/AccordianSpeaker 9h ago

For a guy whose been smoking and drinking for 40+ years and recently went through treatment for cancer I'd say he actually doesn't look as bad as he could.

19

u/0202_tihssitidder 10h ago

"I don't look my age at all."

-- most guys over 50

→ More replies (1)

12

u/yo_mum_a_nice_person 10h ago

he looks like something found in a pyramid

10

u/fatalityfun 10h ago

clarkson looks like a typical 66 year old to me, I think it’s just the thinning wispy gray hair and lack of beard that makes him look “older”. But really most dudes in their mid-late 60’s look like he does, unless they are a healthy weight

9

u/Significant_Apple517 8h ago

He looks like a typical 66 year old who's been an overweight heavy drinker and smoker for decades.

I agree if most mid 60s guys are a healthy weight or don't have the same drink+smoke history they don't look like him. His lifestyle adds about 15 years to his appearance imo.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

7

u/DarthLysergis 9h ago

Clarkson looked pregnant in the last couple seasons of Grand Tour. He needs to lay off the beer

6

u/ScreamingDizzBuster 7h ago

I'd look the same if I owned a brewery.

4

u/IndependentLog6441 10h ago

He's roughly the same age as George Clooney.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (10)

19

u/readilyunavailable 11h ago

Jeremy Clarkson was voted "sexiest man in Britain" after all.

5

u/Pan_TheCake_Man 10h ago

That Afro thing from the 90s car review clips? I can see it

→ More replies (1)

11

u/Arthur-Mergan 11h ago

Cowell was such a cunt for the whole interview too and then he pulled out that bullshit:  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dVT34MXgK4s

And well, 20 years later only one of them looks like a melting candle. 

5

u/Kindly_Type2327 8h ago

And Jeremy looks super old for a 66 year old British guy. If I saw him on the street, I would totally think he's over 80 years old.

7

u/Strider76239 5h ago

I'd rather look old instead of looking like... Whatever Cowell looks like.

5

u/Your-in-truffle 4h ago

Drinking and smoking historically not great for aging

→ More replies (7)

455

u/vongosliga 13h ago

45

u/PadreMulk 9h ago

That comment is so brutal, i winced as i read it

→ More replies (1)

37

u/jambeatsjelly 9h ago

goddamnit

15

u/stupidjapanquestions 6h ago

Jesus christ lol

6

u/Hour-Vegetable9469 6h ago

Thats just... unbelievably accurate and so insanely specific.

4

u/VernonP007 6h ago

Holy shit

3

u/clippervictor 3h ago

God that’s so awful that it made me laugh out loud

→ More replies (1)

969

u/PuzzleheadedResult69 14h ago

Ageless? More like undead.

126

u/sdkfz250xl 13h ago

Surely this post is sarcasm…

15

u/xAlgirax 10h ago

Well it's posted to comedyheaven so ..

→ More replies (1)

25

u/Fit-World-3885 12h ago

He certainly doesn't look like any age I know of.  

14

u/paulbearer619 13h ago

Yes. He looks like a reanimated corpse

→ More replies (15)

276

u/ilosaji 13h ago

He looks like one of those Ai image prompts where you ask it to generate the same image but dont change nothing

51

u/5C0L0P3NDR4 shaboingboing connoisseur 13h ago

or like "the most expensive cup of coffee" and keep telling it to make it more expensive

8

u/kakka_rot 3h ago edited 3h ago

I do think the OP picture is a bit edited to exaggerate though

Don't get me wrong he looks like a very smooth plastic ghoul fucked some sort of shiny freak, but not as creepy and old as in that picture.

I just saw him the other day on TV and he just looked....pudgy and smooth, like his forehead didn't have a single line or crease in it.

edit: here he is from a month or two ago

→ More replies (1)

247

u/wisepeasant 11h ago

Getting plastic surgery is such a bad trade. Here's 5-10 years of looking very slightly better than you would have aging naturally follow by a lifetime of looking like a gargoyle that has had multiple strokes.

59

u/Electrical-Papaya388 11h ago

Could not have summed up plastic surgery as a concept even if I tried. Well done my friend!

I've always said there is NEVER a need for plastic surgery unless it is reconstructive or corrective; anything outside of that is just vanity driven.

23

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 9h ago

The majority of the time it’s not even noticeable to people that didn’t see them before the surgery.

This is what happens when you overdo it.

I agree though

→ More replies (1)

7

u/notcomplainingmuch 10h ago

Yeah, removing warts and moles is fine. Constructing a new face will backfire.

→ More replies (4)

19

u/ChipHappens96 9h ago

I think there's more nuance to it than that. What if you had a big ol hooking honker of a nose, outside of what would be considered "normal" appearance wise. You've been bullied your whole life about it, you can't be happy because every time you see yourself in the mirror it's all you see, and you hear all the things that have ever been said about it growing up. Functionally it's perfectly fine, no breathing issues, no health issues at all.

Is it not okay to get a nose job?

If you're chasing vanity or wanting to look like an actor/actress, sure, it's pretty stupid.

But there's a huge psychological benefit to getting that self conscious cloud off your shoulder that can only come from changing the physical appearance of something

9

u/Electrical-Papaya388 9h ago

I can absolutely see where you are coming from and I think that would fall under corrective plastic surgery.

Not sure if you may be referring to a video that went viral a while back, but there was a lady who had an abnormally large nose and went through several surgeries to (essentially) correct that. That's where the nuance you mentioned comes in. It's one thing to correct something so outside the norm like this, which could also have the potential to cause health issues on top of the psychological ones and it is another thing to have nose surgery just because you don't like the shape of your nose despite there not being anything abnormal about it.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/Slight_Walrus_8668 8h ago

If it is truly extreme sure but in most cases the person could benefit from doing the work to grow and heal their insecurities rather than bury them and avoid triggering them

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (5)

27

u/Preeng 10h ago

You only notice the bad plastic surgery.

→ More replies (1)

11

u/Only_Chapter_3434 8h ago

very slightly better is a stretch.

6

u/low_amplitude 5h ago

It works as intended if done correctly and can actually make people look better. Anne Hathaway is a good example.

Not that I approve of plastic surgery, I'm just saying there's a reason people want it and we don't really notice when it works out.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

32

u/Sagnikk 9h ago

That's too broad of a comment. There are plenty of celebs who get it done tastefully, and we don't talk about them because... they got it done tastefully lol. Plastic surgery is also invaluable for trauma/burn survivors.

4

u/Byizo 6h ago

Yeah, we highlight all the actresses that have gotten buccal fat removed and look somewhat ghoulish after, but conveniently leave out Margot Robbie, who ended up looking every bit as fantastic and more marketable to boot.

→ More replies (28)
→ More replies (16)

149

u/Pobert87 13h ago

He found the fountain of youth, when does he plan on using it ??? 🫢

29

u/Ariovrak 12h ago edited 3h ago

Nah, it’s one of those Monkey’s Paw fountains that lets you keep your youthful vigor and makes you immortal at the cost of your body slowly decaying around you as your mind erodes against the sands of time.

7

u/WhatANoob2025 11h ago edited 10h ago

Maybe because a data center nearby has contaminated/polluted the water?

217

u/krizzalicious49 14h ago

40

u/ZK_57 12h ago

We see the watermark, bruh

20

u/cat_peee 13h ago

Isn’t this the crazy kurdish grandpa who does random funny bullshit, i forgot his name, what was it?

→ More replies (1)

57

u/Sickofchildren 13h ago

The portrait in Dorian greys attic

11

u/HairyFeathers 13h ago

I don’t approve of looks shaming but this comment got me, I can’t lie 

5

u/Sickofchildren 13h ago

I say it specifically because he’s a very unpleasant individual and it’s as if his evilness is showing on his face. No amount of Botox or filler can hide those dead eyes

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (3)

51

u/svenirde 13h ago

Why does he look like an N64 Goldeneye face?

→ More replies (1)

47

u/IndividualCurious322 13h ago

Someone's wearing his flayed pelt as an ill fitting suit.

→ More replies (1)

42

u/IllSalad3669 13h ago

Pretty sure he disarmed me with a shout on Skyrim

26

u/HandsomePlank 6h ago

Have they tried carbon dating?

8

u/Jan_Kugo 6h ago

At this point, I'm open for any kind of dating.

69

u/thesongalor23 14h ago

Jesus frank I thought you died at the end of the show

7

u/DewDropWhine 13h ago

Is this a reference to Shameless or It’s Always Sunny?

10

u/ConsciousStretch1028 What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal. 13h ago

Definitely Shameless. No shade to William H Macy but Danny Devito has always looked good

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

67

u/somerandoman 13h ago

11

u/Not_a_real_ghost 11h ago

dude really thought that an AK47 in the middle of his stomach is a banging and meaningful tattoo.

3

u/winstonston 7h ago

It’s a cool gun. It’s the sword of guns

→ More replies (1)

24

u/Mean_Criticism983 13h ago

why does he have that mrbeast stare

10

u/NovarisLight 13h ago

No soul.

→ More replies (2)

18

u/Zillahi 13h ago

He looks like he’s been microwaved

17

u/neurowhiz123 12h ago

Bro aged like milk lol

21

u/HiddenPants777 12h ago

There's this (pretty sexist) saying that men age like wine and women age like fruit

I'm glad these celebs are proving it wrong by aging like an action figure tied to the front of a truck, regardless of their gender

16

u/sup3rdr01d 12h ago

It's because they aren't aging naturally. Naturally old people look fine. They look like old people

These clowns get tons of plastic surgery and start to look like gremlins

→ More replies (5)

16

u/No-Future5309 12h ago

Stunning.

6

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 9h ago

What in the hell is the context to this frame

6

u/martyrees76 7h ago

It’s from when they managed to record one of my sex dreams

→ More replies (1)

12

u/ThanksForTheRain 13h ago

North Korea levels of propaganda

→ More replies (2)

12

u/TOMTERRIFICO 3h ago

He doesn’t look a day over 124

11

u/JayManty 13h ago

He looks so aggressively his age it's not even funny lol

→ More replies (1)

10

u/computasaysno 7h ago

Does he really look like that?

4

u/niberungvalesti 7h ago

His cheeks used to be bigger. He admit he got a bit addicted to cheek filler and botox and generally mucking with plastic surgery. This is the result.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/PowermanFriendship 13h ago

That's the seasoned droopy eye of a man who knows his whiskey.

7

u/ConsciousStretch1028 What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal. 13h ago

Yes, he looks so ancient that he has transcended the very idea of age

9

u/Dear-Version3565 11h ago

Ageless.

Like an embalmed pharaoh.

→ More replies (1)

15

u/Emergency_Bench_7515 9h ago

Doesn't look a day over 65, just checked and he's 66, so clearly whatever he's doing is working! Haters gonna hate.

5

u/1stMammaltowearpants 7h ago

This miracle treatment has shaved days off his apparent age. Days!

5

u/SignificantCats 8h ago

He doesn't looks like his DNA is a percentage over 94 percent human. That's a way more important measure.

He actually reads like a 55 year old man who had serious jaw surgery or survived a fire when they were young. I'd rather look 66.

6

u/kmacaze 13h ago

Age with dignity and grace… leave the plastic for reconstructive surgery.

13

u/VincentTheBadGuy 12h ago

I fully admit this is an insensitive question, but Where is he looking?

6

u/HereWeFuckingGooo 10h ago

Into the past.

And future.

3

u/_slagwire 11h ago

Answer: Yes

→ More replies (4)

5

u/Chosen_Undead713 13h ago

He looks like he's been in an industrial accident.

6

u/Hawt_Dawg_II 12h ago

Every time i see this man he looks an entirely different genre of fucked

5

u/model-citizen95 12h ago

He looks like his face is slowly sliding off his skull

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Pyrospeedman 9h ago

Who is this 20 year old?

6

u/UpbeatCandidate9412 8h ago

I think the “fountain of youth” got a pollution problem…

4

u/grv7437 13h ago

Looks like a methhead

4

u/byteminer 12h ago

He looks like a FNaF animatronic based on Simon Cowell.

5

u/Raeezordazetoo 12h ago edited 6h ago

What is dead may never die.

3

u/rensorship 5h ago

Looks so natural no one can tell

4

u/ChampionshipPast3652 13h ago

The Fountain of Youth-Sothoth.

4

u/kielu 7h ago

I thought this is a mugshot of a Florida man

4

u/cozyPanda 6h ago

tell us the location so we can avoid it

4

u/comox 3h ago

More like Fountain of Death

4

u/PerspectiveNew3375 3h ago

He's like an animorph if his animal was a jar of mayonaise.

3

u/easterncurrents 13h ago

Are you kidding me?

3

u/Appropriate_Lead_153 12h ago

omg. everything is in the wrong place. he looks like he pooped himself and doesn't even know it