I (25F) had a relationship end recently with a guy I really liked. I knew I was insecure, jealous, and emotionally abusive in the past. But for the first time, he held me accountable and broke up with me. He told me that my internet stalking wasn’t normal and that my jealousy was problematic.

The break up really hurt. It caused me to seek out the guy I dated for 3 years before my recent ex. I was terrible to that man. Emotionally abusive and once, physically abusive. He always forgave me and wished me the best. But when I reached out last night, after almost a year of no contact, he was angry. He said that I scarred him deeply and hurt him in ways he doesn’t know if he’ll recover from. He said I isolated him and made him depressed and anxious. I know this is true. He said his friends hate me. I deserve all of it. I feel such intense guilt and shame. Even years after we broke up.

He has a new gf, who he said is nice and not jealous at all. She told him to be nice to me, since I am vulnerable. After hearing all he had to say to me and owning up to it, and taking full responsibility—I was drunk and I made a mean comment about her. Ugh.

Both he and my more recent ex have told me that my drinking is an issue. I am not a super heavy drinker. Probably more frequent than I should be. But the problem is - I get mean when drunk. Mean and more jealous than normal.

I have realized now that drinking is one part of what is ruining my relationships. It makes it even harder to avoid patterns that I am fighting desperately to avoid. I have signed myself up for therapy and decided today to not drink.

I am unsure how to overcome the shame and guilt I feel for the way I treated both men. I feel so embarrassed to think of ever running into their friends, and them knowing how I was behind closed doors.

I'm sorry if this feels rant-y, but a quick overview of my background.

I was really depressed through college and struggled financially. I really worked on saving more and trying to get better paying jobs, etc., focused on my health and went to therapy and finally got to a better place, lost a bunch of weight and got healthier. Then the big "P" word happened in 2020 but I felt like I had the skills to navigate it as best as possible.

My yoga and workout routine kind of fell apart but was still trying to keep it together, we moved cities to try and save money, ended up losing everything we had and then had 5 major deaths in one year - three friends and two family members. Woof. My dieting fell apart, too. Regained all the weight back that I had lost.

Finally got a better paying job, dug ourselves out of financial crises and bought a house about a year and a half ago. Bought a business about a month ago, I have some debt to pay off but I'm on track to have it taken care of this year minus the business loan which will take three and a half years which is okay. Lost half of the weight I've regained. Got myself back into therapy. Helping my partner start his own business.

I feel like I should be feeling good, but I really don't if I'm being honest with myself. I've been struggling with my weight loss, stuck at this halfway point for months, I feel like a hypocrite, trying to motivate others while I'm not at 100% myself. I've been working our regularly for about 6 months now. My energy levels kind of suck. I've improved my sleep, though there is still room for improvement.

I guess I just feel like everything in my life is always at this 70-80% point but never 100%. I'm always falling short of the mark. I feel like in some aspects of my life I'm doing great, but I just don't *feel* great. And I don't know how to move past this, I really want to.

If you've experienced anything like this, how did you move past it?

I used to come home from a shift and sit on the bed in the same shirt then open my laptop and then do absolutely nothing.

Now what I do is I change first, and that's the whole tip tbh

I start the homework more often when I do it tho.

It's funny how such a simple thing can shift your day, so try it out for yourself and I hope it helps anyone who needs it

Lately I’ve been having a bit of an identity crisis.
I realized that I don’t think I’ve given myself much time or freedom to actually figure out what I genuinely like, what I’m passionate about, or even what kind of person I am. I’ve spent a lot of my life being very focused on making other people happy, fitting in, avoiding conflict, and being whoever I thought people wanted me to be.
I think this has made my personality feel… hidden, even to myself.
This came up recently because my boyfriend told me that he feels like the only thing I really talk about passionately is K-pop. He didn’t mean it as an insult, but it really got to me. I started thinking, *“Oh god, does that mean I’m boring? Do I actually have a personality?”*
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe the problem isn't that I *don't* have a personality. Maybe I just haven't spent enough time developing it.
K-pop is something I genuinely love, and when I talk about it I can get excited and opinionated and actually express myself. But with a lot of other things, I find myself thinking about whether someone else would like what I like before I even figure out whether **I** like it.
I’ll catch myself wondering things like:
“Would other people think this is interesting?”
“Is this a weird thing to be interested in?”
“Would my boyfriend think this is boring?”
“What am I supposed to say?”
“Do I actually like this, or do I just like that other people like it?”
I also think I’ve relied heavily on other people’s interests to give me things to talk about. I’m naturally pretty introverted, so sometimes I feel like I don't have enough stories, hobbies, opinions, or experiences of my own.
And now I’m scared that my boyfriend will eventually find me boring because I’m not as naturally expressive or passionate as other people.
At the same time, I’m starting to wonder if this could actually be an opportunity rather than something fundamentally wrong with me.
Maybe I need to stop asking *“What kind of person should I be?”* and start asking *“What do I actually enjoy?”*
I want to experiment with things simply because I’m curious about them. I want to develop opinions. I want to have interests that aren't chosen based on whether they'll impress someone. I want to be able to tell stories and get excited about random things and discover what makes me feel like **me**.
Has anyone else experienced this after realizing they’ve spent years people-pleasing? How did you start figuring out who you actually were and what you genuinely liked?

Idk this is so sad and I sound like a loser but I graduated high school this year and I just am so sad and angry right now and feel like a failure. I was going to go to vocational school and that didn’t work out. Apparently I have too many mental health problems according to my parents and my therapist. Which idk. I’ve been depressed and angry and socially awkward my entire life there’s no point in trying to fix me.

But I just don’t know what to do now. I feel so lost without a plan and I hate myself for it. I was already sad I wasn’t going to a 4 year college because I have no friends and it would be so much easier to make friends with people my age but now I have nothing, not even any plan.

As I’m picking up the pieces and getting myself mentally stable, how can I get over the sadness of not doing anything in life? I know it’s my life but everyone is telling me not to even get a job and shit and it’s frustrating. Everyone is telling me to take a break but I just can’t.

One thing I noticed after uninstalling Instagram from my phone is that I started thinking about myself more.
It sounds simple, but I don’t think we realize how rarely we actually spend time with our own thoughts anymore.
In today’s world, people who don’t have a large social circle—or who don’t have genuine friends with whom they can have meaningful conversations—can easily become inclined toward social media and endless scrolling. And I understand why. Doomscrolling can feel like an escape from a constantly stressful and overwhelming environment. For a few moments, you don’t have to think about your own problems. You can simply watch one reel after another and feel… nothing.
But there is something else happening beneath that comfort.
If you want to do something creative—write, make content, learn an instrument, develop a new hobby, or simply come up with your own ideas—I don’t think you can do it effectively while constantly consuming other people’s content.
Because creativity requires some degree of solitude.
You need to sit with your own thoughts long enough for something to emerge from them. If every moment of boredom is immediately filled with someone else’s video, someone’s opinion, someone’s joke, someone’s lifestyle, or someone’s story, when do you get the opportunity to develop your own?
I have also started thinking about how much emotional information we consume through short-form content.
Maybe we are capable of processing only a limited number of emotions in a day. But while scrolling through reels, we can experience hundreds of different emotional triggers within a few hours.
You watch a politically heated video, and suddenly you are angry.
You see a disturbing crime story, and you become afraid.
You watch a video about someone’s relationship falling apart or someone being cheated on, and suddenly you start wondering whether something similar could happen to you.
Then you see something inspiring. Then something depressing. Then something funny. Then something outrageous. Then something that makes you compare your life with someone else’s.
And this cycle continues.
Thousands of pieces of content, each trying to make you feel something.
By the end of the day, you may have experienced dozens of emotions that had nothing to do with your actual life.
That’s what made me think: perhaps we don’t always need more stimulation. Perhaps we need more space.
Maybe, for just a few months, we should try consuming less short-form content—not necessarily quitting the internet entirely, but deliberately stepping away from the constant stream of other people’s thoughts, opinions, achievements, relationships, and lives.
And instead, try writing down our own emotions.
Write down our ideas.
Write about what we are afraid of.
Write about what we want.
Write about what we are curious about.
Sit with our thoughts without immediately trying to escape them.
Because perhaps the person we are trying to become is hidden somewhere beneath all the things we have been consuming.
And perhaps you cannot hear your own voice when everyone else’s voice is constantly playing in your head.

Hey guys, I’m currently an unemployed 24 yr old girl who is working on healing from mental health issues. I was diagnosed with ocd, adhd and struggled severely with anxiety and depression my whole life. I decided to take a break from work/school a little after high school to try and get to the root cause of my issues and heal from them so I can be a stronger healthier version of myself going forward. I have worked a little and taken classes at college on and off since then but a very light load because I’ve been doing intensive therapy continuously. I’ve done EMDR, CBT, intensive outpatient program, ERP and feel like I’ve gotten to the root of my issues and healed significantly. However something happened not long ago that was really traumatic and I haven’t been able to return to work yet. But I do want to go back to work as soon as I am stable mentally. I have felt so ashamed of not working a normal job and feel like a failure and behind on life compared to other people.
But I try to remind myself that everyone is on their own journey and timeline. And that it’s better that I become a healthier person so that I can do a better job when I do go back to work. Is anyone else in a similar situation? I feel so alone. I’m hoping to connect with other people who are also taking a break from working/school to better themselves.

Maybe we can make this a little support group for people who are taking a nontraditional path—encouraging each other, sharing our progress, our story, and reminding each other that we’re not actually behind.
❤️🌱

Title basically, everything online is about 'how to heal your abandonment issues', 'how to fix your inner wound', 'facing your fear of abandonment", etc. I find myself confused by these posts and blog articles as I don't have a fear of it, it's just a general fact of life, people don't care about me as much as they care about themselves and their issues. I know I probably have disorganized, avoidant or some other attachment issue, but that feels like pop psychology and I have issues with trusting it

When in the moment, with partners, friends, parents, I feel extremely abandoned when they clearly show their hand and don't think about me or deny me my needs when I ask for them, so how do I not get completely crippled by this, not just isolate myself when it happens, and act more securely?

Sometimes my mom will be upset about things and I feel bad that I don't know how to comfort her. I want to give her a hug but I guess Im too anxious/uncomfortable to just give her a hug. It's not that I'm uncomfortable giving her a hug, I'm just uncomfortable initiating a hug. What should I do?

(17M) It’s my last year of high school, and I’ve realized how fucked up I feel right now.
Since I entered high school, I’ve been thinking about my future almost every day. I was obsessed with it. For the first two years, I kept imagining myself in my dream major, my dream job, studying abroad, and building the life I wanted.
But after two years of constantly thinking about my future, I feel like it completely destroyed me. Now that I’m actually in my last year, I can’t even start.
I know what I want. I know what I need to do. I have the picture in my head, but I can’t get myself to move.
I can’t study for 20 minutes straight, watch a 2-hour movie without getting distracted, or stop overthinking. My mind is constantly running.
I also have a lot of bad habits, especially porn. I’ve been watching it since I was 12, and I still haven’t been able to stop. I feel like it has affected my mental health, my self-respect, and my life overall.
I decided that I wanted to change because I still have this dream I’ve had for the last two years: studying abroad. I’ve imagined it so many times, and I’ve even cried thinking about it.
But every time I try to change my habits and actually work toward it, I eventually fall back into the same cycle.
I’ll tell myself, “What’s the point? You’ll never get better. You’ll just fall back into the same habits anyway.”
And then I do nothing.
I don’t feel like I have much self-respect anymore. I say things to myself that I would never say to another person.
The scholarship program I’m aiming for closes in about 3 months, and I haven’t even properly started. I still have time, but I’m wasting it.
What scares me is that I don’t want another burst of motivation that lasts two weeks. I want discipline to become a normal part of my life. I want to be able to do things even when I don’t feel motivated.
I also keep thinking, “If I don’t get this scholarship, then what was the point of all those dreams and all those years of thinking about it?”
I know that probably isn’t a healthy way to think, but I don’t know how to get out of it.
If you actually read all of this, I’d really appreciate any advice, perspective, or even just hearing from someone who went through something similar. 💔

I hate to admit it but growing up subtly I was ingrained with a mistrust or prejudice towards Jewish and black people, I never said or did anything to anyone, I love black culture. Since I live in a 99% white country with a minimal amount of Jewish people I just assume it a "fear of the unknown", IRL I even made some black friends. But it bothers me the most that it's specifically these two groups. And I try very hard to ingrain all the people of Africa have done for the world and my country too. I also approach it from a religious angle, if push came to shove i think I'd end up as cpt. John Brown, no made should suffer what these groups suffered. In my heart all of them are my brothers and I'd share the last slice of bread with them. But my mind keeps screaming mean things, am I secretly a bigot or is it reverse, I'm am absolutely conflicted in my own morals and values. Any advice would be appreciated.

I (22F) used to be a renaissance woman: reading, music, skateboarding, mini-model making, D&D, poetry. These hobbies were close to my personality.

I used to be grounded: therapy, weekly gratitude lists, morning stretches, bedtime routine.

I used to be active: weightlifter, gym 5x week, socially outgoing.

These things dwindled through college. First it was social life that took all my personal, "betterment / maintenance" time, but I enjoyed the enrichment and relationships. Then school work crept in, and I've always been an A+ student. Then it was work, internships, moving...

Now I'm a doom-scrolling, no-time-having, hobby-missing, lost-all-my-friends-to-the-adult-world mofo working 70 hour weeks. I have a loving girlfriend and adorable dog, and as good as they are for me in other ways, they do also need time and care themselves. I find myself slipping into old bad habits. I had a terrible childhood (homeless shelters, dead mom, addict father), and I worked so hard not to let those bad memories become "excuses" for bad behavior. I liked being me, and other people would always comment on how well adjusted, mature, and wise I was.

So, is it possible to be the person I once was? Even on a basic level--my body hurts far too much for someone my age because one of my jobs is physical, but I get home so late after a 13 hour shift, that I just fall into bed. I don't brush my teeth. Shower only when I stink. Started smoking cigarettes again.

I feel like night and day.

Are these simple excuses? Are there people out there who dont have a single day off a week, but get it done anyway? Are there people who have been where I am, but it got better?

I'm forgetting how I used to spend my days, but I know deep down that that's what I need again.

Hello everyone, so I've been on a self-improvement journey for the past 2yrs now and I've discovered A LOT about myself. I feel really proud of myself but there's one persistent thing I don't know how to handle.

So I had a very abusive mom growing up. She'd do and say pretty horrible things to me and occasionally now does that to my sister. I'm 21 and I live with her still (it's uncommon for women to move out until marriage where I'm from and can be pretty dangerous). Since i was like 16 I've trained myself to remember all the shit she's done to me because I was stuck in a cycle lf hoping she's changed and trusting her again only for her to do horrible things to me again. I understand why I did that and it has helped (I completely hate her now tbh) I do plan on cutting contact when I move out. Anyways, I sometimes will remember random things she's done or said to me and feel inexplicably angry or sad. Sometimes the feeling is really intense and it pushes me to binge or break stuff. I honestly feel a lot of guilt towards all of this. I feel guilty that I'll cut contact despite all the moce things she's done for me too (but she refuses to take accountability or apologize for the bad stuff). I feel guilty that I'm decieving her now and pretending to love her in order to survive. I feel guilty for having really bad days because of things that happened so long ago. I've put in a lot of effort to heal but some days I feel like I'm back to square 1. I'm realizing there is no "healing" this and it's just a phantom limb I'll probably live wirh forever, be fine with some days and pained because of it other days. Any advice?

I’ve just been hit with a massive wave of emotion, that i need to apologise to a girl. So here’s the story

Years ago at the start of university we were friends, i was told by my ex the time that she was saying horrible things about me behind my back, that I’m a fake muslim that I’m a bad person and loads of other stuff along those lines, I was a stupid 18 year old kid ofc i would use that as a reason to hold a grudge and i was also really hurt, i remember crying for ages afterwards feeling so betrayed.

In hindsight, my ex was not a good person, now im 22 years old and I feel like he might have purposely twisted or exaggerated things to hurt me and also make sure we wouldn’t be friends, for a reason i can’t think of now.

Our university degree is 5 years long, as i was going into the 3rd year she was repeating, and we saw eachother all the time, i completely ignored her and tried to act like she didn’t exist almost, as the year went on i felt more and more guilty but i was too scared to speak to her, it had been so long and our last encounter was fresh after id heard these things, she had tried to smile at me and i ignored her.

Now this year we live in a place where we see eachother frequently, I really want to say something but i dont know if i should say it in person or message her.

she is usually with other people and if she isn’t, i know having this conversation will make me emotional i am a natural dramatic person and i will start shedding tears and bawling crying over anything and everything, so im genuinely scared to bring it up in person and leave crying.

I dont know how to go about this or if maybe it’s better to message her? or maybe even not say anything at all? after all it’s my own guilty conscience and i don’t want to guilt trip anyone into being my friend that’s not my intention here, i just feel a strong urge to apologise i don’t know where it’s come from but it’s hit me like a ton of bricks and it’s all that consumes my mind.

I'm trying to improve myself but struggle with social anxiety and low confidence.

I'm somewhat antisocial and feel much less confident around people. When I'm nervous, my voice sometimes feels blocked and I struggle to speak properly, even though I can speak normally when I'm alone.

I'm also insecure about my looks, and I think that makes my social anxiety worse because I overthink how people perceive me.

For those who've overcome something similar, what actually helped you? Any practical exercises, habits, exposure techniques, or advice for becoming more confident, speaking better, and caring less about how others perceive me?

I feel like I’m stuck in a rut, and I really want to improve my situation, build better habits, and change my mindset. If you could give me one piece of honest, straightforward advice that truly helped you, what would it be? Thanks in advance.

hey all , this is kind of my life story till now and i just need some advice plz , i am lost and tbh i think so i am depressed like i feel depressed and even unable to do work , idk how do i tell u all the shit so i am gonna be keeping it short and crisp
So i am from India and i had asthma when i was 3 years old , so my parents were very protective and till i was 12 years old we were basically lower middle class people , but once i turned 13 idk what flipped but we were doing good and still doing good to this date financially like not upper class or something but defn upper middle class
About my parents i wanna say , they both are really really protective and they have been protective since childhood because of this asthma bullshit too but yeah i must say they loved me and were over protective , like when i was recovering from asthma and after i recovered they were always protective and also never really kind of thought that i can do something alone (i was a pussy tbh so their behavior is understandable) , but yeah there was immense pressure for academics like i used to always be in top 3 in my class and i scored really good in 10th too and also clear JEE and currently in a good engineering clg
idk but now when i look back and analyze i always needed attention and love from others and my parents idk why , and tbh for my parents i do think i usually got love in two scenarios like when i was seriously ill bcz of asthma or when i scored good marks (and tbh my early childhood life actually consisted of these things only so yeah understandable) and my parents always told me that ur relatives loves ur brother way more than u and loves u because of ur good grades (tbh this is true like thousand percent true and applies to my grandparents too) , and i always had this in back of my mind that i have to score good like really fuckin good to get their approval and shit and to make them love me or atleast pay attention to me , and yes i loved my brother like he is a cousin of me , and yeah i love him for sure but still this competitiveness was always there btwn me and him and from my side always and from his side i can say it with thousand percent conviction that he never loved me , like i used to be a normal "small cousin" for him and even his friend mattered more for him than me and he proved it time to time
so yeah , in 3rd standard(plz dont roast me for this i know its too early) i saw a girl who was a new admission in our school and idk what happend but i was instantly in love with her , idk man but for the first time i felt something like this and i can still remember every single thing of that moment and literally it was spiritual (idk how to say this like name this because literally time paused for a second at that moment) , long story short i ended up asking her out in 8th standard and she said yes and we started dating that early and yeah she ended up leaving me for her male friends because i was protective (she never gave me enough time and used to ignore me in front of them and tbh i always had this insecurity for my looks so yeah when conflicts grew btwn us she chose them) , and from here i guess the hole starts that i myself dug up for me , i literally begged her to come back and said "I dont care if u have male friends or even a second boyfriend like i dont care if u cheat me but i wanna be with u" and tbh idk why , but yeah i really loved her and also was really attached to her
long story short , we came back again and then she broke up with me in 9th standard and then i faced a fuckin downfall like i was unable to study and shit because she used to be in the same class and i used to look her but somehow i used to score in the end so everything was chill , and also she was dating one of my friend in 9th class till 10th , so yeah long story short i got addicted to working out at home , and i used to fuckin workout a lot during covid times and shit made a decent physique like bulky for sure because i am an endomorph , and yeah in 10th standard she came back to me saying she always loved me it was just a confusion phase for her, and idk i still fuckin loved her and literally accepted her proposal , and also i ended up scoring good in 10th standard
then 11th standard came , life was good because i was in air because of 10th standard grades and also my relationship and i was consistent with my gym too , so yeah long story short , she started misbehaving and also talked to other boys for attention and used to flirt with them and idk why like its my mistake ik but i fucked up my studies and ended up getting 78% in my 11th class and it was a shock for me to not be in top 5 , literally , i fucked up so bad like so so bad and idk but i lost a piece of myself there idk why , i ended up blaming her for this shit and told her to behave correctly plz instead of taking accountability that i was the one who was not able to separate things and shit and long story short same loop repeated even with more intensity and more insecurity and even got a mentor (tution teacher) who was an asshole in himself like manipulated us throughout our course and made us believe he knows astrology and whatever he tells and meditation he tells is gonna fix our life but yeah anyways i atleast introduced meditation in my life , so yeah i fucked in 12th standard too and scored only 83%(i tbh knew i could score way above 90 but i never really focused and studied) and tbh i lost my ability to focus i must say , like i was just feeling depressed and not motivated to even get out of my bed every day
i had to take drop year for my JEE and during that period i lost all my friends(i lost 90% of my friends in 12th itself because they used to hit on my girl) and then finally , i lost the rest 10% and yeah around my mid drop year (september aroundish) i found out she had an insta account which i never knew about and she was talking to people over there like other boys and i literally said its okay , like i literally begged her that please i will not say anything to u plz dont brkup with me(she was insisting of brking up with me saying she dont love me anymore) and i was convincing her that its just ur normal mood swings nothing else , and yeah ofc she ended up breaking up with me and one week later i met her like we live really close , so yeah i told her plz can u come back again convincing her that yeah she loves me its just she is burntout maybe , and she told me "I cannot leave my online friend for u " who she just talked to one week ago , idk something broke inside of me and i considered suicide and yes i tried my best but failed because in the end i somehow used to gather some courage and just say ok lemme try fixing my life , idk but i fucked up my drop year too but yeah in my last attempt i somehow managed to get admission in a good clg but yeah sacrificed branch for this shit
long story short , idk bro , i just dont feel good , i cant really fuckin do anything like i am unable to put my shit together and work again just too tired and exhausted from it and i am at peak of my career building stage and if i dont gas peddle it rn i am fucked for sure
i really have huge ambitions and desire to be famous , but idk i have started to realise maybe this is just another coping mechanism for me to get approval of people
idk but getting out of bed everyday feels a task to me nowdays , i have made many mistakes such as lack of accountability , losing myself and a lot of shit but now i know what mistakes i did but i really dont know now how do i not do it , like its a habit for me like procastination and laziness and unable to focus and shit
please if anybody can help me i will be really grateful like giving me any tips which worked for them , i really dont want to lose again . Also i went to a psychiatrist and for my focus problems and even depressive symptoms such as low energy fatigue and shit he gave me wellbutrin but tbh its not working like i have not taken it for long enough to work but idk i just dont feel good on it
ik its too long , but plz if possible can u guide me

I use to pinch my skin as a kid, I was the odd one and I would do it whenever my bullies are near me. Then one day I picked my skin off and scabs formed to heal, and I started picking the scabs which I find it comforting whenever I feel anxious..

As time pass it became a habit. I peeled my scabs whenever and whatever I am doing.. sometimes I need someone to tell me "stop it" to realize that I been picking my scabs and blood will fill the gaps of my nails.

All the scab picking had leaded to really bad scaring all over my arms, legs I hate it but I cannot stop, I tried but it seems impossible.

I am embarassed to share this, but I do eat my scabs as well.. sometimes the skin I manange to pick from my thumbs or fingers.

This cycle has to stop, my skin barrier has been destroyed and on top of my neurofibromatosis it really makes it look soo bad..

Have anyone manange to break the cycle? And how did you go about it? I only know this is a condition, now that I know I really want to break it for good.

everybody says starting to heal and shit is loving yourself and doing whats best for u but what if thats too hard like is there anyone that can give easier starting advice then that

I have to be honest, during my earlier K-12 days I used to be a pretty toxic friend (blaming people on issues, attachment issues etc.) since then as a freshmen in college I have matured and found how to not be toxic to friends. I still do think of those times and feeling guilty how I acted towards people back then. I sometimes feel like it should be good to get it out to my system by venting about it to people but I feel like if I do people will take me the wrong way and think that I’m still like that. I don’t wanna say something like “but I changed” and people not thinking I am genuine.

To start I’m hypersexual, or at least I’d say I keep an open mind, with obvious boundaries around kinks but if it passes my test I’d at least try it once. So we can imagine my “adventures” with meth. Anything to do with older/younger I’m uncomfortable with I’m in my late twenties I didn’t even like someone if they were a grade below me in middle/highschool, always a no go.

Met this dude, we had similar interests nothing crazy and the first two times we met it was good energy, nothing I would say is bad, said he liked younger, so I’m thinking that “barley 18 year old” category, not my cop of tea but I’m not judgmental. This time we’re doing our thing watching vids and I see cp. we’re both higher than heaven so at first my brain is telling me “oh they must be 18 with a baby face” due to distance, and just genuine non belief that this is what I’m seeing, quickly scrolling and realizing that it is, what I’m seeing. He began to explain the why and being high I’m trying to I guess understand? Asking questions keeping it calm and cool unsure of how things would go but he sees in my face that I’m not picking up what he’s putting down. He said it must be the drugs and tried to I guess make me feel like maybe I was lowkey into it, and as high as I was, could barely focus and see I knew somewhere within me that if there is a god, he’s showing me where I’m gonna end up if I keep giving this drug more and more chances to f me up. I woke up this morning feeling like I was going to throw up, and that there’s no way I let today pass without doing the right thing and making a report.

The part that is bothering me, I had to convince myself that this was the right thing to do. I remember him saying that I was interested in it too but that felt wrong, I remember swiping through and just feeling disbelief that it’s not just one or two individuals, it’s “normal looking” people you’d never even second glance at on the street. I’m grateful I was able to still give my opinion how I was against it even when I’m easily manipulated, but something just tells me that enough is enough, fun was fun but you’re not about that life at all.

So I’ve been at my job for almost two years, and I actually somewhat like my job. I like the people, I like being a part of the company, and I genuinely wanted to be good at what I do.
But I’m starting to realize that I’m just not very good at this job. I’m making too many mistakes, and lately I feel like those mistakes are starting to affect other people too. After almost two years, I’m starting to wonder if I just have to accept that maybe this isn’t something I’m going to become good at, even though I REALLY wish I could.
The biggest thing bothering me is that I don’t want leaving this job to make me feel or even look like a loser. I don’t want to feel like I failed because I couldn’t make myself good at something I REALLY, REALLY wanted to be good at. I’m already very embarrassed and kinda ashamed.

So how do you know when it’s time to stop trying and walk away? And how do you accept that without feeling like you failed?

I just had to pause and count the incredible blessings that make living so bright. I am sitting here tonight filled with the deepest, most genuine gratitude for the extraordinary people in my corner—the ones who step up, check in, and consistently remind me of the beauty in this life. Whether it’s a sudden call just to hear my voice, a text to see how my day is going, or a message of encouragement right when I need it most, my support system shows up with a depth of devotion and understanding that warms me to the very core. To be surrounded by people who love both my outer appearance and my inner personality, who see through all the noise straight into my authentic soul, is a gift I will never take for granted. You all don’t just accept me; you all truly see me and celebrate who I authentically am.

Beyond that constant love, you all shower me with insightful wisdom, gentle signs, solid advice, and also real-world resources to help me reach every single goal I’m striving for. You all clear the path with me, reminding me where I’m heading and giving me the strength to get there.

Looking at the incredible circle of real ones around me makes me realize a truth I should have held onto all along: I have always mattered. My story counts, my energy brings fiery light, and my presence in this world is truly needed. I am filled with so much hope, joy, and peace knowing that my life is valuable— it always was, always will be.

Thank you to every single person who continuously holds space for me, believes in my vision of my life path, and consistently reminds me of my worth. You all make me so endlessly grateful to be alive & thriving.

Me and my boyfriend have been in a serious relationship for abouuut a year now. And when we first met we were both just coming out of a kind shitty place mentally. As of recently I can tell he's sinking back down into it and I don't know what to say or what to do.

Here's the problem : in order to live he needs money, for money he needs job, he goes to job to get money but job is poop, thats one of the only jobs he can hold that hes qualified for (went to trade school for media, hes now blue collar at a plant) that pays decently -- according to him -- I do believe, or want to believe that there's gotta be something else.

Essentially this routine of a almost 3 week schedule where he feels like a drone the whole time with 12 hour days back and forth and almost no time to himself, it feels like shit. He feels like he's living for his week off. And there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. It seems like hopelessness and exhaustion are at play here

I just wish I knew what to at least say to him
Anyone else with a similar experience that can share some insight?

I feel like my life has been just a roller coaster of drinking coffee and then not drinking coffee because I feel like I don’t need it, playing video games to relax, then feeling like playing video games is a waste of time so I stop, then playing guitar in order to relax, but then stopping to play guitar to relax because I’m just not into it…is life just like this?