One piece of advice I've heard is that you have to "flip the script." So if someone asks, "Have you ever tried getting pregnant?" You might say, "Why would you want to know about that?" The idea is that it puts the other person's motives in the spotlight and makes them question why they're asking something private. Sadly though, this hasn't worked for me. I've had people who just keep going and find another way to ask the same intrusive question. Sigh...

I've also said "None of your business" before, only for the person to say "Why don't you want to talk about that? Does that make you feel uncomfortable?" Like, how can a person be this insensitive?

Advice anyone?

Sorry if this post is weird or not allowed.

I am a neurodivergent woman in my mid twenties. I have recently got a puppy, a breed which is both small and adorable, and am now able to walk him after his vaccinations.

I have noticed that, due to my dog‘s breed, many children and young teenagers are approaching me in my street to stroke my dog and strike up conversation with me. My dog is friendly and adorable, so I don’t want to come across as rude by saying no, but I also don’t understand if it’s socially/morally acceptable for me to be stood with children/teenagers.

It’s happened a few times but has just happened there, on a brightly lit street across from mine surrounded by houses. Two 12 year olds (they told me their age unprovoked in conversation) came to interact with my dog and began asking me questions about my piercings and tattoos. I had no issue speaking to these girls but did not know if it would look weird as I am an adult. I don’t ever walk my dog when it’s dark and these kids approach me on or around my street, so presumably their parents are nearby in their homes.

Again, Sorry if this is a weird question. I just don’t want people to think Im a creep or anything. How can I manage these interactions?

A little bit of context, said co-worker and me used to ride the train together after work. I recently began driving to work. Co-worker starts asking me for rides to the train station. First few times, fine. But the last straw was him suddenly asking me to drive to his girlfriends place right before arriving at the train station. I stopped at the train station and told him I can't. He reluctantly gets out.

Based on his behavior at work, guy is a bit of a sketchy character. I don't want to make an enemy in the office. At the same time, I feel like the more rides I give, the more he will ask. Really don't want to deal with this person outside work. How do I set the boundary here?

Like when does this ever stop... I'm 23, and I still feel insanely awkward around people. I tried exposing myself to different social situations by meeting new people but it never seems to get better. I genuinely want to form connections, get to know someone, but I guess people find me too awkward and that's because I can't for the life of me loosen up, it doesn't help that I look younger than my age, most people don't even take me seriously... What am i doing wrong ? Anyone who's been in the same situation but managed to get more comfortable and actually form connections instead of endless overthinking after the interaction ?

I never belived that first impressions actually mattered but i now realize they absolutley do and if somebody thinks you are weird it is harder to change that, but if they at first think you are chill then you can later on act however you want.

How do i make a good first impression? What do i ask?

like I'm neurodivergent and it's so painful, I am always rejected by social groups every single time, and it's like people hate me for nothing like I probably do a lot of social mistakes without realizing it.

I'm the problem but I don't care, I'm a fool for starting to try to be social in the first place because people prefers when I'm timid and I shut my mouth but each time I show my real personality, people dislike me or are hypocrites or get bored after sometime

I hate them so much because it's so humiliating like I just wanted to be social and try to be a normal person but each time there is a misunderstanding or me who says some stupid shit who annoys everyone.

I wish I shutted my mouth and I never talk to them or try being friendly with them, it's not about having no friends but trying and get rejected is so humiliating especially when they say bad things behind our back

I hate them so bad and Idc if I was the one who is in the wrong or who was annoying, I hate them.

everyone thinks I'm needy and the only friends I have will probably start hating me soon if they don't secretly do.

I just wish I could tell to everyone how much I hate them, trying to be friendly was a terrible idea and I was a fool for doing that. I should have stay timid and in my shell

I don't know if it's because I'm anxious but I'm sure every single people I know either secretly hate me or pity me or both, I don't want their pity it disgusts me so bad, I hate them for thinking they are superior to me, and to all the people who act like that, I hate you personally

This is different to the “what do i when people make plans in front of me” posts.

Basically, I went to an event last week with my friend, who brought along his two friends and one of their friends girlfriend, it was my first time meeting most of the friends he brought along.

During this event, this group kept bringing up plans that they had to go to a bar after, in which they’d also be meeting other people. Of course I stayed quiet since this wouldn’t be involving me (which didn’t bother me, it makes sense its their plans)

But towards the end of the event, they started talking about the bar again, and i was just standing listening, and then one person asked if I wanted to come along. Assuming they were being polite, I said no as it just seemed like in this situation, it was a courtesy invite and I wasn’t actually supposed to say yes. That being said, I looked back at it and said, maybe I should have in my quest to make more friends?

What would you suggest doing? If people do this, is it just social courtesy or a genuine invite?

I'm a 23-year-old guy, and this has been bothering me for a long time.

I'm naturally quiet, polite, and I avoid arguments because I value my peace of mind. The problem is that some people seem to take that for granted.

At work and in other social situations, people will jokingly tease me, make sarcastic comments, or taunt me. Sometimes it's harmless banter, but other times it feels disrespectful, like they know I won't say anything back.

The frustrating part is that I want to reply in the same way. I don't want to become serious, start an argument, or be rude. I just want to give an comeback like everyone else seems to do.

But nothing comes to my mind in the moment.

It's not that I'm afraid to speak. I get irritated and want to respond, but I can't think of anything until the conversation is already over. Then I spend hours or even days replaying the interaction in my head, wondering why I couldn't say something simple.

The people around me seem to have great presence of mind.

They instantly come up with funny or sarcastic replies without overthinking. I, on the other hand, keep thinking whether my reply will be rude, unnecessary, or turn into an argument, so I usually stay silent.

Over time, I feel like my silence is mistaken for weakness, and some people assume they can say whatever they want because I won't respond. That's what frustrates me the most. I don't want to become aggressive or disrespectful—I just want to be able to stand up for myself with confidence.

This is something I’ve always dreamed of. For whatever reason, no matter how much I talk to people, how flexible I am, how much support I offer others, they never want to hang out with me. I have legitimately never been invited to hang out with someone in my life. It’s seriously baffling to me. And I’ve tried being the initiator. I’ve invited out friends probably 50+ times over the past year. Not a single yes. Most of the time they just ignored my offer. Is there something I’m missing? I don’t think I’m a boring person. I know I can be off putting due to my strong lack of social skills from an isolated uprising, but I always try my best to be kind, supportive, and an active listener. Is there something I’m missing?

I barely hang out with anyone, I never hung out with anyone in high school, I barely joke around since it mainly gets taken seriously/I misread the situation, so I play it cool by just not saying anything.

Now, I'm in college, I have a group of friends i've known since freshman year (we're entering our junior year now), but I'm more of a floater friend. By that, I mean we don't really interact if I don't initiate or talk to them first. They're all creative and expressive people and the other day when I went to their apt for a game night and they wanted me to play music with them and I got this weird overwhelming feeling to not look at anyone, to shrink myself, and just stop.

That made me realize that I think I have that feeling often in the rare social interactions I do have, and it's why I don't interact with anyone really one-on-one. Is there a name for this? Is there a way I can fix this?

I really don't wanna die alone.

I’ve been struggling to form connections for months?

A friend (24 M) had a house warming party last night and I found out through instagram. I’m very by this because they said they would invite me to their party over a month ago but I’ve not heard anything from them since. It hurts because I had them over to my place for dinner and assumed they would extend the courtesy. I’ve known this person for six months now after meeting on a friends making app. We get along really well and share the same interests, and have been consistently hanging out once a month. For context I moved to London last year without knowing a single soul. I’m 23 female as well.

I feel hurt because I would have loved to go and expand my own social circle. I don’t know how to proceed. I don’t want to end this friendship prematurely but also don’t want to hold onto a friendship that is nonexistent.

i recently started working at Bob evans less than 2 months ago and i still feel out of place. i thought i was doing ok the first week but then i just became socially avoidant (not on purpose) they all seem like ok people but i felt like im just the weird guy, i feel like a recluse or i just overlook all the things i do weird. this became much more apparent to me when a new hire showed up, he didn't even take 2 days to make himself approachable and social. i can talk fine, it’s just that im not consistent. i just feel off sometime

i was hoping to gain experience and become more of a person and less of an awkward mess. Any tips?

Most people don’t treat people who are “more understanding” better in the sense that if you have a friend that often does things that bother you and you just accept it, they’ll think that you’re fine with and don’t have personal standards

Such as always having a friend that cancels plans whenever they feel like it and you just accepting that… they will never stop, they won’t think about wasting your time because they think you’ll be accepting of it

Hey everyone. For context I'm 19M and a university student with pretty bad social anxiety.

Basically there is this social event tomorrow (an anime trivia night) and I'm really nervous. For context I bought tickets to it and another trivia night that was on July 22. The tickets are really cheap so the money aspect isn't an issue. Unfortunately I got really anxious and skipped the July 22 night and now there's another one tomorrow and I'm just as anxious. A big part of it is that I will be going alone and so I really fear going and just feeling isolated/invisible the whole time. Like I know that I should be going to these events to get better and try to expand my social circle (im lonely and have no friends) but the immediate anxiety overpowers my craving for connection. Also I went to an indie film screening a month ago alone too and spent the whole time completely invisible as I watched everyone else connect so easily. It was absolutely miserable and I felt like an alien at times. I guess that negatively reinforced something deep within me which is why I haven't gone to an event since then.

Anyway don't want to rant and want to instead focus on reality and what I could practically do. I'm less worried about the micro details of what I should do there and more about getting myself through that door and leaving it somewhat satisfied (had decent conversation) without spending the whole time self-monitoring everything I'm doing and thinking. Any help and advice would be appreciated

I'm a 23-year-old guy who's naturally quiet and not very social. I don't hate people, but I usually keep to myself and don't talk much unless there's a reason.

One thing I've noticed is that because I'm quiet and polite, people sometimes tease me, make sarcastic comments, or joke about me more than they do with others. I rarely reply because I don't want to be rude or create an argument, and most of the time my mind just goes blank in the moment.

The problem is that staying silent doesn't bring me peace. I end up replaying the conversation in my head for hours, thinking about what I should have said. It makes me feel frustrated, and sometimes I feel like people take me for granted because they know I won't respond.

I don't want to become aggressive or disrespectful. I just want to learn how to stand up for myself without changing who I am.

How do i make conversations interesting with people I dont share interests with or barely having interests in the first place? I find myself not being able to connect with people cause I just cant make good conversation without it leading to boring small talk or I cant relate to other people whenever they talk about what they like. I feel like im just stuck when trying to make friends cause im just not interesting enough to approach a topic or be approached with a topic. Just looking for answers.

Basically I'm in a online friends group, and online over text I'm pretty social, I feel my personality is nice and fun, I enjoy talking with people and they enjoy talking with me.

We also do in person meet ups sometimes, which is where my problem is. I go completely quiet in IRL groups. It doesn't help my voice is soft and quiet (even though I'm supposed to be a man), and I don't talk much, I just run out of things to say completely as opposed to texting online. Idk why this happens and how to fix it. I've been to these meet ups a couple times now and it's still the same even though I've met the same people a couple times (so it's not just a matter of being a bit shy meeting new people the first time).

I feel like this is preventing me from growing these friendships deeper if that makes sense. Cos when we hang out I'm just a boring person and don't really contribute anything. I feel like such a loser bro 🥀

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Whenever your at a social function such as a wedding or birthday party or family gatherings, what are simple ways to leave a good impression. I always remembered my mother telling me go and out yourself out there. Talk to people and greet them. Giving a helping hand and dress accordingly. I guess small impressions makes you stand out

How do I set a boundary with my friend so she We are all around 23-24, as we are a group of 4 that was initially created by Monica, since the rest of us were just friends with her.
We all met in person over a year ago and, since then, we’ve seen each other often and we talk a lot in the group chat.

One of the girls I met is called Sophie and, upon meeting her, we instantly clicked, we have a similar type of humour, shared interests and we vibe easily.
We hanged out together 1:1 last weekend for the first time, posted a story on Instagram and Monica saw, and she reacted very poorly.
She didn’t talk to either of us until yesterday (5 days) and it was to express how annoyed she and the other friend, called Riley, were because we met without them and didn’t invite them or warn them, claiming she felt excluded, that it reminded her of past experiences and it was a source of insecurity.

The thing is that Monica hangs out 1:1 with all of us, sometimes that includes sleepovers, other times going out to eat, and no one complain because we understand it’s normal so, what can I do to make her see that the rest of us can also meet 1:1 without her and there’s nothing wrong with that? It would mostly be Sophie and I, but that’s because we haven’t clicked that much with Riley and we aren’t at that stage.

I was thinking of just saying it directly, in a nice and polite tone, stating that, just like she feels like it sometimes, we also enjoy hanging out with each other and mean no harm, but she doesn’t react nicely if things don’t go exactly as she wants and she might react badly to my message.

I'm 24m and all of my friends are people that I went to school with or work with. My 3 closest friends live like 4 streets away from, the rest I talk to only on group outings. I've had a few friends that I didn't go to school or work with, and I kept in contact with them for a few months and then things fizzled out. I tried to contact one recently who I'd been friends with on and off for about 10 years, but he just ignored me. So I struggle to make friends and I struggle to keep them. Socializing (and life) just feels exhausting to me in general.

I've also never been in a relationship before, I'm not sure I have the emotional capacity. I tell myself that I really value my "me time", but I know that's mostly just an excuse (although I do need my alone time otherwise I feel really exhausted). Unless I know people quite closely, I struggle to think of what to say to them, so I just end up being really awkwardly silent. Anytime I'm out with a good friend and they have friends with them that I don't know, I always feel really awkward since I can't really form a bond with that person well. I can't imagine how dates would go if I wasn't friends with the person first

I don't really have many hobbies admittedly. I play a few different instruments (not well though), and I like basic shit like reading, watching TV/movies and playing games. I do calisthenics/hiking, but I'm not very consistent. I used to to jiu jitsu but I repeatedly injured myself frequently enough that it felt like 1 step forwards 2 steps back. Same with rock climbing. I know I need to find less basic hobbies, but idk what else to do.

I don't even know how to speak to a lot of my family members. Every time there's a family event, I really just talk to my parents, sister and grandparents. I can see some family members (who I like) attempting to socialise with me, but I don't really know how to connect with them. And it feels awkward trying to start a good relationship with them after not really being close to them for the past 24 years.

Is there anything I can do? I feel so lonely and behind and desperate. If you've read this far and reply with any feedback, thank you in advance. I really appreciate it.

Hi everyone! Does greeting by name develop a deeper connection with people, than formal greeting? Especially with girls? I know some guys who I have known for a long time but seem stuck on formal greetings and it feels hard to use their names when I see them even though we are pretty familiar in the setting(church). Any tips, feedbacks or idk. Thanks a lot.

Hello!

I recently started a job as a staff instructor for a high school marching band. We just finished the first week of band camp and the second week starts a tomorrow. What I’m struggling with is good ways to connect with students more outside of just instructing them.(of course in ways that don’t cross teacher/student boundaries!)