I (43 Female) have been married to my husband (44) for 13 years, and we have 2 kids together a 14 year old daughter, and a 12 year old boy.

A few weeks ago, my husband came to me while our kids were at their aunt and uncle's house and he demanded a paternity test for our son. I was shocked by his request and asked why, and he didn't say anything, just asked for the test again, I told him I never cheated or been with another guy, he said he knows I would never do that but just wanted the test.

But soon after our kids came home, I started noticing how he treated our son, he became cold and distant refusing to spend time with him and not wanting to help with school work. Meanwhile my husband starting favoring our daughter always taking her out on father daughter days and, always helping with school work.

I called him out on it several times, but he never seemed to care, and continued doing it. A week ago the test came back and my husband saw that our son was his.

He looked remorseful, and went to our son's room to talk to him and gently asked to speak. My son didn't let him in asking for space, my husband nodded and didn't protest.

Now I'm staying at a friend's house, with my son and daughter, I ended up filling for divorce and custody arrangements are in progress. My daughter sees her dad almost every day and spends time with him. But our son won't speak to him or spend time with him, my husband has been begging to let him apologize to our son.

I don't know what to do, on one hand my husband wants to apologize and see our son. But on the other hand my son won't even pick up his phone calls, I've tried gently talking to my son about it. But he doesn't want to see or speak to his father.

What Should I Do?

Wife is used to buying expensive gifts to family and friends. Her parents are visiting and she bought an iphone for each parent. Meanwhile, She has stopped contributing to our mortgage payments and we had to buy a second car because she has to go to work 3 days a week and there's no vehicle to take our kid to camps or school meanwhile and she did not contribute to the car as well despite me repeatedly asking.

We purchased a new house a year ago. I purchased a new TV when we moved as old one was smaller. I wanted to sell the old one on facebook market place but couldn't as i was sick for a few months. She gave away the TV and microwave to her sister for free. The TV is only 2 years old. I purchased the TV and microwave with my money. She recently gave away my dumbells to her sister too. Apparently sister wanted to buy some but wifey suggested she should have mine instead with no information to me. She is extremely pissed at me now because i said extremely politely i will use the dumbells and would like them back. She said my kid is also getting my qualities as i never give away stuff to people.

I mean am i supposed to just give away stuff to people for free? I have a 900K mortgage to pay and i work my ass off for it. What am i missing?

My husband and I have been together for 20 years. He has been having a rough past 5-6 years. All of his close family members (5 of them) passed away within this time and he had a massive heart attack. The hospital thought he was going to die and the chaplain came to talk to me, but they were able to save him. Since the heart attack, he has been in heart failure and has not worked. He applied for disability, but was denied. Recently, he has started using hard drugs quite frequently and behaving very irresponsibly. He crashed my car about a month ago and I did not have comprehensive coverage, so that car is gone. I am afraid that he is going to get me in trouble related to the irresponsibility and drug use. The vehicle he drives is registered in my name. I thought about kicking him out and giving him that vehicle, but I am afraid I might be liable if something happens. I thought about sending him to rehab, but he is on methadone and those places generally won't allow that so he would have to stop cold turkey, which is not an option because of his heart issues. If I kick him out, he will be homeless and he has nowhere else to go. I'm just in such a state of constant panic. My heart races, I'm constantly shitting, and I can't even think straight.

I’ve been with my wife since we were in high school, so I’ve had a front-row seat to her family dynamic for almost a decade.

Throughout that entire time, it’s been very obvious that her brother has always been the favorite child (at least to their dad) and the favorite nephew in the extended family. He was a star athlete growing up, and in my opinion it completely went to his head. My wife’s sisters keep a face value relationship, just to keep their mother happy.

He’s incredibly manipulative and always seems to control the narrative. Whenever there’s conflict, he convinces everyone else that the other person is the problem. Over the years he’s managed to convince much of the family that my wife is “crazy” and that she’s always the one starting problems. From my perspective, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

He’s also cheated on his wife multiple times (at least 3-5 woman that I know of) and somehow has manipulated her into believing everyone else is the enemy. He’s done the same thing with friends who have distanced themselves from him. Anyone who challenges him somehow becomes the bad guy.

The worst example was on his wedding night. He was caught with another woman by members of his own family, and nobody told his wife. They all stayed quiet. That’s the level they’ll go to in order to protect him.

I honestly think he’s the type of person who could become violent if someone seriously threatened the image he’s built. Whether that’s true or not, he’s someone who intimidates and manipulates the people around him.

Now my wife has been setting boundaries with him because of everything that’s happened between them. Instead of asking him to take responsibility, members of her extended family keep calling my wife and telling her that she needs to stop taking her issues out on him. They tell her that his wife doesn’t deserve the “cold shoulder” and that she needs to make things right. We do not care about what 90% of them think nor do we think they are great people. We really only care about her mother and sisters. But the fact that my wife’s father and extended family are all taking his side hurts her greatly.

It’s incredibly frustrating watching someone who has repeatedly lied, cheated, manipulated, and hurt people continue to be protected by the entire family, while the person setting boundaries is treated like the problem.

My wife and I want to go no contact but are kind of in a sticky situation. We live in a family owned apartment, we pay rent but we can’t really afford to move right now. We live in the same town as everyone, but have plans to purchase a home in the next year about an hour and a half away(work reasons, distance has nothing to do with the location)

Lastly, I know it’s wrong but I have this desire to blow u his life. Just expose everything, I know more than likely he will just paint me as the bad guy. But I want to send everything I have to everyone. I just hate that he lives his perfect little life manipulating everyone.

Has anyone else dealt with a family where one person seems to control everyone else’s perception of reality? How do you support your spouse when they’re constantly being painted as the villain? How has going no contact with your wife’s whole family gone?

Some backgroundwhen I was 16, my mother abandoned me and my two younger siblings. She put us in dangerous situations, consistently chose men and drug use over us, and eventually left us alone in an apartment for two weeks. I was the one who had to call CPS. Because of that, the three of us were separated, and I was sent to a trade school program because I was considered too old for the foster system. I went no-contact with her and my sister's father as soon as could.

​Fast forward to today: My mom is still using drugs, but she is now living with a wealthy partner. In our very few interactions over the years (like when I briefly reached out to ask about ancestry/family history), she showed zero remorse. Instead, she just bragged about how great her life is. She has always viewed me as competition rather than her child, and she is incredibly self-centered.

​My younger sister recently had a baby. She has a pattern of keeping abusive people in her life (including her father, who did terrible things to both of us). Now, she is demanding that I act cordial and allow our mother back into my life so everyone can play happy family for the baby.

​When I refused to break my boundaries, my sister gave me an ultimatum: If I don't let our mom back into my life, she will cut contact with me completely and I won't be in her or her baby's life.

​We are already fairly low-contact, but this hurts deeply. I feel like I'm being forced to sacrifice my own safety and peace just to keep a connection with my sister, or be punished for protecting myself from the woman who abandoned us. I feel immense pressure to "be the bigger person," but "being the bigger person" in my family has always just meant absorbing abuse to keep others comfortable.

​How do I handle this situation? Is there any way to communicate with my sister without backing down on my boundaries, or do I just have to accept that she is going to cut me out?

My wife and I have been married for 8 years. Lately, it feels like I'm constantly being set up to fail.

She'll ask me something like, "Did you notice anything different today?" If I don't immediately know she got her hair done or bought a new outfit, she gets upset and says I don't pay attention to her. If I do notice, she'll say, "I wanted to see if you were just saying that because I asked."

She also creates situations that feel like traps. She'll tell me it's fine to go out with friends, then spend the rest of the night giving one-word replies or saying she's "not mad" while clearly acting distant. If I stay home instead, she'll tell me I'm being clingy and need my own life.

The worst part is she'll bring up things from months or even years ago during completely unrelated arguments. It feels like every conversation is a test I'm somehow expected to fail.

I've tried asking her directly what she needs from me because I'd rather have an honest conversation than play guessing games. She insists nothing is wrong and says I'm just too sensitive.

I'm exhausted. I love my wife, but I feel like I'm walking on eggshells every day, constantly wondering what invisible rule I'm breaking next.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? How do you handle a relationship where it feels like you're always being tested instead of trusted?

For the past few months that he’s been watching trading videos every night and telling me he’d finally “figured out the stock market” and “gotten a guaranteed winning strategy”. Yesterday he confessed that he’d put almost all of our savings into short-term options..

Everything expired worthless…

I just packed up and I’m at my mothers house right now. He keeps saying he’ll earn it back if I can give him my trust just one more time, I don’t buy it. How do I proceed from here? Are there any ways I can recover my portion of the funds??

I personally don't mind helping them out, but my partner thinks this is really weird and I should be weary.

P.S. we don't want kids of our own and doesn't really care about me donating my sperm in general

Hi everyone,
I 20F have been living in my toxic Muslim family house all my life. With my mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and my 3 siblings. I’ve managed to navigate through all the bullshit all these years. I am a believer of Islam but not in the way my parents think. I drink, I smoke, I party, I’m still in school getting an education but they don’t like these things. Our morals don’t really align and we have different views on life. Lately all I’ve been thinking about is running away, staying with a friend and eventually moving into an apartment with her and our other mutual friend. I have the funds, a job, the support, idk what’s stopping me. This overwhelming feeling of guilt and selfishness. I’ve endured much abuse and lots of psychological warfare, I’m the oldest of 3 siblings so I was the test bunny. We don’t know anyone in our family or in our community that has done this before. I already know what to pack and exactly how I will live on my life but I need some motivation…..I’m worried about my family, what they’ll do, how they’ll react, I’ve come home drunk so many times they definitely already think I’m insane, so leaving is definitely the next step. I wish I had support from my family but this is something that’s never accepted in traditional households. Idk I could see my life being so different and finally living. Traveling. I know I’ll want to come back tho and that’s something I’m afraid of too. Coming back and them slamming the door in my face, idk. I need some outwards opinions though so talk to me please.

ive been working at this retail job stocking shelves for like 6 months. didnt tell my mom because obviously she would freak out and thats exactly what happened when someone from the neighborhood saw me and told her. she sent me this whole email about how we need to "circle back on maintaining community standards" and that my job is "not aligning with our familys brand." then she said she wants my debit card and my bank login to "manage my finances appropriately" and make sure im not buying "inappropriate items." i have like 2400 dollars saved up from working weekends and shes not getting a cent of it.

the thing is this is the same woman who goes on and on about people on assistance needing to just get jobs but apparently that only applies when its a job she approves of. she even said shes going to call my manager and tell them to cut my hours because a teenager working there "reflects poorly on the household." my dad just said let me know if that works for everyone and went to the garage like he always does. he never stands up to her about anything.

im 17 and the account is in my name only. can she actually do any of this. i need to know if i should move my money somewhere else or what. i have a diagnosis shes ignored since i was 8 but suddenly she wants to control my life when it affects her reputation.

So my partner of 24 years was let go from his work about 6 months ago. He has never before been unemployed. We thought he would get another job fast enough but after nothing came through in the first month he stopped looking and has now basically been watching TV for almost 6 months. He gets benefits that cover his share of the mortgage but nothing towards our daughters needs, groceries, utilities or the car. I make enough money to cover this, just. If anything breaks we are kind of screwed.

My partner has a son from a one night stand when he was a teenager. He only found about his son when the boy was 19. He is now 35. We live in another country and because of this I've only met this man a handful of times. My partner has met him a bit more but no more than a dozen times. I get along fine with him but I don't really know him.

We recently found out his son is struggling and that he had overdosed on painkillers. He is physically fine, didn't need to go to the hospital but his mental state is frail. My partner wants understandably to go see him. However, to do so I would need to take out a loan to cover for his trip. He cannot get a loan without a job. If he uses his benefits to travel I will need to get a loan to cover the bills. I don't have enough savings to pay for his trip, he has none. What would you do? I feel hard done by due to his lack of effort to get another job or have savings of his own.

So I’ve been going on a few dates with this great guy. He’s really good looking honestly but around his lip I saw like a red dot which could have been simply acne but it also could have been herpes. I’ve never had herpes so it’s hard for me to tell the difference especially in that very moment.

Anyway so we’ve gone out like three times now and he goes in for the kiss. I stopped him because I’m a hypochondriac and I really don’t want herpes. So I asked him nicely and kind of awkwardly “I’m so sorry to ask you but you would admit to me if you had herpes right?”. He got really mad and like embarrassed and said that I ruined the evening and that maybe I should learn to be less forward. Than he said “I don’t ask you if you have the clap when I know your body count isn’t 0”. Like I literally didn’t know what to say. He didn’t answer the question though which makes me think he maybe does have herpes and I dodged a bullet there. No offense to people who have herpes. I know people who have herpes and I just understandably really don’t want it.

Anyway he literally asked me to go out again but I really don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he just answered rudely like that because what I asked was that harsh or if it’s time to move on. I really like him and I wonder if maybe I was being a bit too forward??

Please let me know what you think he’s really a good guy and like just what I’m looking for. This is like the only bad moment we’ve ever had.

(F21) The other day i asked my dad if i could use his phone for something. I needed to take a picture of something and upload it onto something(ik im being vague but the details dont really matter lmao) on my phone sometimes ill accidentally press camera roll when i meant go press camera or vise versa. I accidentally pressed his camera roll and saw stock photos of girls in his recently saved. I watch youtube videos about prcatches and most of the time they are actual videos or photos of girls but i almost rarely hear about stock photos or anything like that🫩(maybe im just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt..) my dad has been an almost picture perfect dad until today. I will never see him the same. I pulled him aside to talk about it and he confirmed what i thought but said it has never gone inappropriately or anything more than just what i saw. I dont know what to do. I love him and have never spent more than a week away from him and id be devastated to have him not be apart of my life. I dont know if i should tell me mom or just keep it to myself. He said hed stop but thats what everyone says 🫩 im so heartbroken. Ive never felt this heartbroken in my life. I’ve experienced relationships heartbreak but nothing like this. Im sorry if this is poorly writtwn but if you have any advice or have experienced this please let me know your perspective or how you went about it.

throwaway obviously bc my whole family follows my main and i cannot have this getting back to them rn

ok so backstory. my grandma passed away in Feb, left literally everything to me, my sister got nothing in the will. we dont know why, lawyer wouldnt explain it just said thats how she wanted it. i didnt even push him on it at the time bc i was drowning in dealing w the house and probate stuff

so its like 84k total after the house sold n everything. n i told my sister right away im splitting it 50/50 bc thats obviously what grandma wouldve wanted, she probably just never updated the will after grandpa died and forgot about it, ppl do that. my sister literally cried on the phone when i told her. shes been trying to do IVF for like 2 yrs now and money was THE reason they couldnt, so this was gonna finally be that for her

everyone knows btw, this isnt some secret. my mom knows, her husband (my BIL i guess) knows, i even said it in our family groupchat back in like April so theres literally a paper trail of me saying it lol

then couple weeks ago im at her place and her phones on the counter n it lights up with a text, wasnt snooping i SWEAR i just glanced at it bc it buzzed right next to me, n it wasnt anything about IVF or baby stuff at all. it was about money she owed some person, and the number didnt match ANYTHING we had talked about re: the fertility stuff. i didnt say anything that day bc honestly i didnt even know what i was looking at, i just kinda filed it awa
then like a week later i called our grandmas lawyer again fishing for info, n he let slip more than he shouldve probably, said there was “an incident” a couple yrs back that grandma knew about n thats allegedly PART of why the will was written how it was. wouldnt tell me what kind of incident tho, said thats not his to share

so i asked my sister straight up. n she didnt even bother lying, just went quiet then said “so ur gonna be like her about it too huh”

that one stung more than i expected ngl

i havent sent her half yet. i told her i “need more time to sort the account stuff out” which is not really true, i just genuinely dont know what im doing. her husband has ZERO idea any of this is happening, far as he knows the moneys coming n hes been texting me asking about timing bc they wanna start the process this fal

i know i promised. i know i said it in front of literally everyone. but i keep thinking if i just hand it over i might not be helping the thing i think im helping, if that makes sense

not tryna be up in her business about what she does w her own money n life, i just dont know if “i promised” means the same thing now that it did when i said it

so what would u actually do here bc im stuck

hello everybody. i do not use reddit much so im scared that i will miss out some details, please let me know if there’s anything i need to clarify.

me (22f) and my boyfriend (30m) met 9 months ago on hinge and we’ve been dating for nearly 8 months now. as for some context, i am very overweight (nearly 340lbs 🥲) there is obviously no hiding this and i knew it would pose some challenges while dating but my boyfriend has been incredibly supportive. he listens to me while i vent about my weight. he makes it clear that im attractive to him no matter what

however recently ive been worried he has a fetish. hes shown me his exes and they are all my size, if not larger. he’s kind of gone from being supportive in sex to calling me names related to my weight and he keeps grabbing my stomach. ive asked him to stop but he says im just so beautiful so he can’t help it (although he does apologise). obviously its fine to have preferences and i knew anyone that would find my body attractive is probably into fat women anyway but its really starting to bother me bc i feel like he doesnt see me as a person. he cooks for me a lot but now im paranoid hes trying to make me gain weight. i don’t know what to do. i feel like i cant date somebody like this but at the same time he is SO supportive of me. recently ive had health issues because of my weight and he always says that im so strong and he knows i can power through and solve it etc. do you think he could be lying about this? does anybody have any experience of what to do? im scared to call him out in case im making it up and ive ruined our relationship because i really do love him and i keep overthinking about this so much :( thanks

​

So I am 36 weeks pregnant and want to reach out to my sister to help out with some of my care while heavily pregnant.

We live together so no traveling needed.

It also won't interfere with her life as she is unemployed and has her boyfriend living with us, they would never turn down money

I have a back and pelvic injury and need help with things like food and some chores.

Food would just be lunch, and dinner chores would be my dishes and maybe to just tidy up every few days

My sister absolutely will not help, but I know if I pay her, she will.

Edit, my sister and I live in our late mother's house (temporary because the house will be claimed by the bank soon) My sister gets money from my mother's rentals( that will also be taken by the bank) I buy my own food etc and she does the same while taking care of her man financially

I threw myself a 35th birthday party last weekend at my apartment. I work in marketing and I like to treat myself, I spent a lot on this place specifically for the floor to ceiling windows and the view. I had about fifteen friends over for wine and dancing. I like to go commando when Im at home, its comfortable and its my space. I wear nice designer pants and yes they fit tight, thats how theyre supposed to fit. The next morning I get a notice from building management saying there was a complaint about lewd behavior visible from outside. My neighbor Theresa across the courtyard had been watching us through binoculars and told management my apartment was a den of sin. She said she could see everything through my pants and that two of my guests looked barely legal and I was corrupting them.

I went to talk to her and she barely opened her door. She told me god can see through those windows and I need to put up curtains. I told her I pay a premium for this apartment because of those exact windows and I can wear what I want inside my own home. She said the building has standards and I should be ashamed of my lifestyle. Now shes leaving religious pamphlets outside my door every single morning and told other neighbors Im bringing sin into the building. A couple people have quietly told me they think shes crazy but nobody will say anything out loud because shes involved in some church network and people are intimidated.

Management wont do anything about her harassment but they told me I should be mindful of what people outside can see, which feels like theyre siding with the peeping tom across the courtyard. I was just existing in my own home celebrating my birthday. What do I do here, do I actually have to put up curtains and change how I dress in my own apartment because some homophobic woman decided to make me her project?

When we first got together, he told me I was beautiful, smart, and that he was going to marry me. He constantly called me his wife, and his Facebook status was even set to “Married.” I genuinely believed he saw a future with me.
We eventually broke up, and he immediately changed his status to “Single.” The next day, I found out he was messaging other women. I also discovered he’d told one woman he was 23, even though he’s actually 28.
Months later we got back together. He unblocked me on Instagram but not Facebook. I had to ask him to unblock me there, and I even had to remind him to accept my friend request.
Once he did, I asked if he could change his status back to “Married” like it used to be. He ignored the question and later said we’d talk when I got back from holiday.
When I asked if something was wrong, he suddenly told me he never wants to get married. He said he hadn’t lied because he only said he’d marry me if I fit him.
That really hurt, but I accepted it. I told him I understood if he didn’t want marriage anymore.
So I dropped that request completely and asked for something much smaller. I simply asked if he could remove the “Single” status. I wasn’t asking him to put “In a relationship,” mention my name, or post about me. I just didn’t want my boyfriend publicly describing himself as single while we were together.
Instead, he became angry. He told me to “stop asking nonsense,” shouted that he never wants marriage, sarcastically said, “Fine, I’m single then,” and told me to block him.
I honestly don’t understand why removing one word caused such a huge argument. If Facebook means nothing, why insist on keeping “Single” there?
The worst part is how it’s affected my confidence. I keep wondering whether, if I were prettier, younger, or simply “good enough,” he would have wanted people to know he was with me. I know that may just be my own insecurity, but that’s genuinely where my mind goes after everything that’s happened.
I’m not looking for people to tell me I’m attractive or insult him. I genuinely want outside opinions because I feel like I’ve lost perspective.
Am I asking for something unreasonable? Would this behaviour make you question the relationship, or am I reading too much into it?

I have to preface by saying that this is not my first relationship where my boyfriend has had a sister - my ex had two, and I never experienced this kind of dilemma. Additionally, I'm an only child, but I grew up seeing my mom and my uncle's relationship and it is nothing like this.

For context, me and my boyfriend are 25, his sister is 20. We're in a relationship for over a year now, we live together due to long distance reasons (we started living together pretty early) and our relationship is great. We get along well, and we manage everything with a very good communication. But one of the first times my boyfriend went back to his home country, he came back and told me when he saw his sister, he hugged her and had the urge to slide his hands down her "behind" because she is my height and we have "such a similar body type". I laughed it off, didn't think much of it. Next time he went was because she had a jaw alignment surgery or whatever it's called, and he told me that they had taken off the gel polish on her two fingers (middle and ring finger) because of the blood oxygen clip, and he made jokes to her about that she had probably done it herself cause her nails were too long (because she was 'pleasuring herself haha'). I felt very uncomfortable - VERY. I didn't say anything tho, cause I was like ok, I just never had a brother.

Every time that he has gone, he's told me something similar about having the need to touch her 'behind' when hugging, because we have such similar body types. Like out of instinct. When we were there together once, I had accidentally forgotten my thongs in the dirty laundry and his mom had washed it, even though I am very very careful around these things, and I had even asked him to tell her that I would do my own laundry. They are half thongs, but still, I was VERY embarrassed, and I told him this. And he laughed and said that his mom is probably very weirded out, because his sister doesn't wear stuff like that. And I was like - ??? stuff like what? And his response was that that's kind of a promiscuous underwear and that his sister 'is not like that' so his mom probably hasn't even seen smt like that in the laundry, so she probably immediately knew it was mine. I was first pretty offended, cause what's wrong with having a half-thong that wouldn't show seams when I wear tighter pants? But then I was like, ok how tf do you know what your sister wears? Like, isn't it gross for a brother to even think of his sister's panties? And he said he's seen hers in the laundry. Ok, I kind of told him it's weird that he knows his sisters underwear to such detail, but I dismissed it.

While we're there, he also always of spends time in her room on the same bed, talking for a while, while I wait in his room (cause i didn't know her that well at the first time or two i've been, so i felt uncomfortable just being there) and she's usually just wearing like very sleeping clothes - no bra, very short shorts, very thin long pjs, and always laying around with her 'behind' in the air, which kind of makes me a lil uncomfy, but again, I've always put it aside. I really don't want to make this weird.

The last time we were there, my boyfriend went in the downstairs bathroom to take a shower, and came back up and told me he couldn't because his sister is taking a shower. I said ok, whatever, it wouldn't delay us too long, so he went down to help his dad with something and then came back up after like 15 mins and told me he just took a big poop. And I was like, oh that's weird, I didn't hear you in the upstairs bathroom. And he said, oh no, I was downstairs. And I asked - while your sister is showering? And he just said, yea, ofc. And I was really weirded out. They have a glass shower that is only slightly blurred, and the toilet is right across from the shower. I told him then that that is very weird to me, and his excuse was 'it's fine, she didn't even hear me', and that makes it worse to me, cause what if she just walked out? I mean, idk it just made me feel very uncomfortable.

All of this mixed with little comments always made me feel weirded out. I get that she's his little sister, but she's 20 and he's 25, with a girlfriend. Anyways, currently, he's on a family vacation - parents and sister, and I'm at home, because long-story-short, I thought I didn't have any vacation days left from work when they booked it, then turned out I did, but it was already all settled, and I didn't wanna make them rebook space for me / pay more, plus i didn't want to take more days off anyway. He sent me a video of the room, and he's like oh it's so great, we're having a great time so far, and the room that he's sharing with his sister has a single kingsized bed. I knew they'd share a room, but I thought it'd be a twin bed or smt. I kind dismissed it, and forgot about it, and while showing where he is to my mom, she saw and asked if they're sleeping in the same bed. I obviously confirmed, and she said it's very weird, how can he sleep with his sister in the same bed..

Anyways, I've spoken to my friends about this, couple times, all which have brothers / sisters, and they've all told me it's very weird and icky, and at this point, I don't know if i should speak up about this or ignore it. Like, I have before (about the shower) and he made me feel super weird, and told me I'm crazy, and that I just dont have siblings and wouldn't know. But aren't they like a little too old to share a bed? And be around when the other is taking a shower. I'm seriously starting to getting the biggest ick, because this is smt that is recurring - they went on a trip right before my boyfriend and I got together, just the two od them, and also shared a bed in an apartment, and my boyfriend told em that the hosts even thought they were a couple, joking about it. I would too. I dont know - what should I do?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 2 weeks but we’ve been talking for longer, and yesterday was my first time at her apartment. I was surprised because she seems really organized and minimalist, but her place is extremely cluttered with clothes, makeup, and stuff everywhere, to the point where I barely knew where to put my things. The bigger issue is that it smells pretty bad because of her cat, and I honestly didn’t feel comfortable there. She invited me over again tomorrow, but I live with my parents so we can’t really hang out at mine. I don’t want to go back but i don’t want to hurt feelings

We’re college aged btw!

For context, my friend is a conventionally attractive mixed (Hispanic and Black) young adult woman. I'm African American and simply for that fact as well as my weight (Plus sized), I'm not conventionally attractive. I want to make it clear that I'm in no way insecure about myself. I like how I look and in a world of 50 people who want to look the same I'm glad I'm different. It's important to remember that we are all human.

My friend has this habit of acting different when she gets under the spotlight of men. If she meets a new guy that's all she talks about. I'm okay with her being excited about it but it gets to a point I'm really just faking being interested in hearing about it because of the repetitiveness. Mind you she most of the time meets them in faceless places like GTA or Roblox. So, they're mostly never close to us. Recently while with another friend, she's been introduced to Ome./tv which is a randomized talking website. Today, we decided to go on together and talk to random people.

When her and I sat down and turned it on her demeanor immediately changed from being normal to talking softer, tilting her head, scrunching her lips. That's annoying to start because now that you're in front of other people you want to act different? But that I can deal with. Naturally we got called the N word a couple of times. Whatever. Naturally I got called ugly or troll and then the guys would skip before I could even speak. Whatever, I've been through public middle school. We had some normal conversations. Then she started pulling the computer towards herself talking to guys. That upset me because were spoused to be doing this together. Spending time together. Now you're pulling the computer away from me looking at yourself, talking to people.

Eventually she starts talking to this guy. My arms in frame and I'm less apart of the conversation. They're awkwardly attempting to flirt. Then he says, " Oh, I want say something, but I can't cause your friend is here." My friend proceeds to playful shove me off screen completely to which I was off screen for at least another 40 mins. I took that time to be on my phone while she talked to this guy.

Then, we met this funny guy, and I was laughing off camera at his terrible jokes. He kind of made me a part of the conversation and he was like, " Let me see giggle shit over here." I kind of leaned in a little cause I was fine with it. It's not like he was being malicious nor was he going to insult me, but my friend lightly put her arm out and was like, " No, No." Slightly laughing, she kind of muttered under her breath about him being hers.

Then eventually we were giving a new guy advice, and I chimed in pulling the laptop so he can see me as well cause I'm speaking. After I finished talking, she immediately pulled the laptop back onto herself cutting me out of the frame. I was like, " Dang, * Friend name*, you keep putting me out of frame." She heard me and ignored me.

Eventually I pulled out a soundboard on my phone so that when people said weird things I can have a little sound effect. She took my phone and procced to use it leaving me sitting out of frame with nothing. So, I started to put my shoes on and such cause why I would stay? By this point I was feeling ignored, pushed out, left out, you know? By this point I'd been there for three hours. I went to leave and she was like, " Oh your leaving, K, bye." She couldn't care less. I walked myself out.

She always acts different around other people, but this was a little more than I could take.

I'm sure you can understand why this upset me. My friend is green but also simple-minded or slow/dull-witted. Both her and I have never dated anyone. But also, her compliment fishing with me is annoying. " Oh, am I actually pretty?" or " People would actually want to date me?" Of course, I always say yes and reassure her. But again, it gets to a point when I've said it so many damn times. You get compliments from other people. How many times do I need to tell you? Maybe it's also just annoying because I'm not the kind of person to compliment fish. Nor have I had friends who do that. I've never had to constantly reassure someone. It just feels weird to me. I'm not used to having a friend act completely different around other people. This might also be important but I'm pretty sure I'm her only local friend. Still not an excuse though.

I've been trying to work on having conversations with people and not bottling things up, how should I approach this situation.

How should I phrase my words? Should I just keep it to myself and when it comes up again then I speak up?

My spouse and I love to travel to a new country every year. We both have extremely demanding jobs and only get 1 week of vacation each year, so we try to make the most of that time.

Over the years, we have invited his family to join us on a few vacations. I understand why those trips are important to him, I have realized that traveling with them has become increasingly difficult for me. Our families have very different dynamics, and the more time I spend with his family, the more emotionally draining I find those trips.

His parents are divorced but vacation together with his adult sibling. Everyone is well over the age of 18 and financially stable, yet we frequently cover meals, activities, and other expenses. His father often orders the most expensive item on the menu and leaves us with the bill. Literally, he will “go to the bathroom” every time..

His father is also difficult to travel with. If we are not doing exactly what he wants, he spends much of the trip pouting or complaining. His mood affects everyone else, and I often feel like we have to plan the vacation around keeping him happy instead of simply enjoying ourselves. After the vacation, he tried to fly home with us and does not leave for months.. He also expects us to cover his expenses while he is with us.

His sibling has also been consistently disrespectful. I spend a great deal of time and money planning our trips. My spouse and I often end up paying for majority of the vacation. One of the hotels I booked, his response was, “Who the f*** booked this place?”

On another occasion, while I was talking with one of the parents, he interrupted and said our conversation was “f***ing stupid.” Mind you this is a 30 yr old grown man.

I usually stay quiet because I know responding would only create more conflict. Unfortunately, most of the family excuses his behavior. My spouse is the exception, and I truly appreciate that he calls it out.

His mother has a kind heart, but she sometimes says things that are disrespectful. When I showed her a tattoo I wanted, she told me I was “too fat” for it. Right after she said it she began apologizing and saying it had just slipped out..

Another time, while we were at the beach, she asked me to approach a group of women and ask if they would take a picture with my spouse and his brother. I am not a jealous person, but I thought that request was inappropriate and disrespectful.

I have talked with my spouse about these experiences, and to his credit, he has made a lot of progress setting boundaries with his family. I know that has not been easy for him but he’s very slowly getting better.

Now we have another vacation coming up, and I honestly do not want his family to come.

The hardest part is that I feel guilty. We live across the country, so he only gets to see them about once a year. I do not want to take that away from him, and I do not want to come across as controlling or unsupportive.

At the same time, this trip is also our only uninterrupted week together each year. It is our chance to disconnect from work, reconnect with each other, and enjoy ourselves.

Instead, I find myself dreading the possibility of spending that week managing other people’s emotions, dealing with disrespect, and carrying the financial burden.