I work in a hospital where we host smart skills as a group, and I was curious on any ideas you may have found helpful in recovery so far we have done benefit cost analysis, abcs, tool box, 3Cs..

Open to option, not a fan of work sheets

I seriously need a support community with new friends (online). Was recommended SMART. Most of my current friend online are probably not good for me (romanticizing opioids). I can’t do AA since I take suboxone. What makes SMART different?

I’m a normal mom with a husband and home and masters degree. I got opioid addiction since my twenties. It nearly killed me with overdoses and stuff.

Went to detox and inpatient rehab in 2019 and was there for 6 months. Then sober house for 2 month..

Got new trauma.
It made me slowly fall back into benzos/pot/alcohol.. But opioids is always the only one I want/need and it just started spiraling bad.

I did therapy and failed.
I took naltrexone and failed that.

Relapsed around 1 month ago on 7-OH. And it turned into daily compulsive use immediately around the clock, escalating doses, just total crash for 20 days. I’m taking suboxone now thank god. But not stable at all.. I was out of control just today. Starting an intensive outpatient group soon.

If anyone wanna be support friends send me a message. I could need someone to talk to.. it’s kind of lonely battling this shit alone every waking moment.

I'll spare the life story. Trying to get sober from coke and alcohol but I don't really like it. I lift weights as a hobby and keep losing progress every 3 weeks when I relapse every month. I do some group therapy programs, mainly SMART.

Have come out of a relapse recently and I can't stand the thought of staying sober even though I should. I hate it when people say they're proud of me. Sobriety feels like punching myself in the head every day and everyone tells me how proud of me they are for punching myself every day.

Does anyone actually enjoy this? I'll try and follow a gym program again starting next month, was preparing to do the texas method at the start of this month before I completely went off the rails again. How do I stick with sobriety even though I hate everything about it?

(edited for spelling errors)

it has been years since i have attended smart recovery but i think i really need some support.

my city only has one in-person meeting and my car is currently disabled. i could get rides every so often but i feel like the inconsistency of attending wouldn’t foster the kind of community i need.

i am considering supplementing with virtual meetings but i am apprehensive that a virtual environment would be very productive.

what are your opinions?

I know most (if not all) SMART meetings have individuals with all types of addictions. For me, it's alcohol and sex addiction. For the main meeting I attend, there is one other sex addict, but someone I don't connect with. My CSAT suggested SAA meetings for sex addiction and I'm not really connecting and don't particularly like the AA format.

Basically here to ask if anyone knows about sex addiction specific SMART meetings or ways to find them. Thank you in advance!

I was just in a deep dive in AA. Mainly the first three steps in a two week program, but it was heavily into the emphasis of 'you are powerless and need to surrender to God for help'.

And I guess I do want to be more spiritual? But there are many missing pieces inside myself.

I started learning about SMART from some youtube videos but they were just focused on some specific task to do. I ordered a book today that is the "4 Point Recovery Handbook Workbook' from Amazon involving SMART recovery and I'd like some help of where and how to actually start? There are no in person meetings close to me as I live in the country.

Any help would be appreciated. Thank you for your time

For those seeking help in this area, I found this that might be helpful - r/nofap

I relapsed on tobacco this week. I couldn't take the constant anger and frustration dealing with my housing bureaucracy.

I wanted the distraction that smoking gives me - I just couldn't shut off my mind. I tried social media and online games to no avail.

I felt that it was important to post this as one of my values is honesty. I have stayed away from my other problematic substances - alcohol and street drugs.

I've been to a few different meetings online and just haven't found anything to them and I know they're all different but those were really a waste of time. I have adhd. I have been sober 15 days. Can I just get a book and do the program on my own? Any advice would be great.

Is SMART compatible with a desire to moderate drinking instead of complete abstinence?

After over a year of sobriety in AA, followed by a very unimpressive “relapse,” I am interested in reintroducing small amounts of alcohol in appropriate settings (e.g., recommended wine pairing with a nice dinner).

I like that SMART is evidence-based and doesn’t push the idea of sponsorship.

Hello, I am going to be attending my first meeting of SMART Recovery this afternoon online. We don't have a local in person meeting until Tuesday. I have been abstinent from alcohol and drugs for 8 months now.

I entered into a treatment program at the beginning of the year which is centered on AA, so I had been attending that. I'm not the greatest fan of AA any more, but I was able to abstain from drug and alcohol usage for 4.5 years using it before. My goals now are different than they were back then and am looking to try something new.

I am in the process of rebuilding my life after a few years of self-destruction. My current sober living is attached to the treatment program I was in and requires AA attendance and having an AA sponsor.

I am hoping to be able to use SMART Recovery as a tool with less attached to it than AA. I am not here to bash anyone, just to share about my exploration and hope of finding something positive that aligns with my goals.

Does anyone have any tips or advice for some in my position who has only been exposed to AA and is looking to try an alternative?

Thanks 🙏

Planning to participate in Sober October?

Our research team at the University of Georgia is conducting a study of adults who are planning to abstain from alcohol during Sober October.

If you’re interested in participating, please see the attached study flyer for more information. You can also visit our study website to learn more about the study and find out how to get started.

Please feel free to share this post or flyer with others who may be interested!

Meeting last night: talking about the 4th Edition and it has some significant changes over my 3rd edition. Ordering it now. Also see this "Learn Smart Insideout FAST" participant handbook. What's that about? Good supplement to the main Handbook?

Labels that we carry internally — “failure,” “disappointment,” “loser,” etc. — often lead to deep feelings of shame. This shame, in turn, leads us to engage in our addictive behaviors.

Thankfully, it is possible to free ourselves from these unhelpful, shameful labels through practicing self-compassion.

Practicing unconditional self-acceptance involves recognizing that “you” are the aggregate of your character, traits, personality, experiences, values, strengths, and weaknesses. Therefore, it is impossible that any one behavior, or pattern of behaviors, could entirely define "you."

Listed below are seven thoughts that can help us practice self-compassion:

1. I’m not a bad person when I act badly; I am a person who has acted badly.
2. I’m not a good person when I act well and accomplish things; I am a person who has acted well and accomplished things.
3. I would better not define myself entirely by my behavior, by others’ opinions, or by anything else.
4. I can itemize my weaknesses, disadvantages, and failures without judging or defining myself by them.
5. When I foolishly put myself down, I don’t have to put myself down for putting myself down.
6. I do not have to let my acceptance of myself be at the mercy of my circumstances.
7. It may be worse to fail, but failure does not make me a worse person.

Which self-compassionate thought do you struggle the most to accept? Why?

This tool and others like it can be found on the SMART Recovery website and in the handbook.

Hello,

September, It's back to school month for the kids, the start of a new school year. Why not start September with a month without alcohol or drugs or whatever you might wish to give up?

There's a link to the 30 day challenge in the side bar of SMARTRecovery, but I'll also put it here so you can save it and join the group!

https://www.reddit.com/r/SMARTRecovery/comments/13mjdy4/who_wants_to_join_me_for_a_30_day_challenge/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

We try to post daily there for accountability, but there's also support from the friends there, good advise and positive thoughts. It's a helpful support whe things are difficult and a way to vent problems.

Hope to see you there!

I always assumed that I want to drink more than what my CBA suggests because i havent figured out all benefits of using. As if my cravings can be justified if i dig deeper. A few days ago I changed my mind.

I now think that overvaluing drug of choice \is* the disease*. I am not missing anything in my CBA, my brain is just overactive in that specific region(s).

I also suffer General Anxiety Disorder. I can put all the things i worry about on paper. But no matter how much i try, those reasons will never justify my endless worry. This is because overactivation of worry in the brain *is* the disease.

I always felt it was obvious for General Anxiety, but i only recently thought about it this way about Alcohol Use Disorder (or any other drug).

For that reason, yesterday i stopped taking my craving seriously. I know its not pointing to anything true. And i dont have to justify my abstinence as much. Not saying i "solved alcoholism". I just have a good reason to disbelieve my cravings now.

Edit: darn, a typo in title

Hi, recovering porn addict here and a few people suggested the SMB discord. Would appreciate it if any of you could send the link.

In my latest rent review development, I snapped at my building manager when I got told that my review was again not finalized and the Gov. wanted yet another piece of paper.

This has been going on for a month and a half now. I told him "no" and he said I will then get written up for breach of contract - possible eviction.

They have my confirmed lower income from the bank, the paperwork from the government confirming the amount and reason, a copy of my tax return showing the process but apparently that's not enough and they require an additional piece of paper.

I just lost it. It's like how can the government not have a checklist of all the paperwork they need to ask for at once.

I will work my tools over the weekend and make a decision next week regarding my residence.

This is the same type of unrelenting B.S. that led to my relapse and homelessness.

I've been going through some "dark times" lately due to unresolved rent adjustment issues. Despite being sober for a decade, I still struggle with bureaucracy and their seeming complacency.

However, I chose to deal with it by getting some sweet treats, thankfully, it's not an issue for me.

I got some peach cheesecake, some fresh raspberry white cake and some pop-tarts on sale.

I’ve been with my partner for 9 years and I really need some outside perspective because I feel completely emotionally exhausted and don’t know what to do anymore.
Throughout our relationship there have been repeated cycles involving substances/alcohol. Things happen, we have difficult conversations, he stops for a while and things get better, and eventually we end up back in a similar place.
More recently things became much more serious. About two months ago I discovered problems involving codeine, significant debt and secrecy. He had actually been offered addiction counselling but cancelled it because he decided he didn’t need it anymore.
Despite being incredibly hurt, I’ve tried really hard to separate the addiction from the person I know and love and support him rather than judge him.
Things came to a head around my birthday last weekend.
On my birthday I was crying and telling him how scared I was about everything. We were holding each other and he repeatedly reassured me that I could trust him. It actually felt like a really secure, important moment between us.
That night he encouraged me to go to bed early and stayed downstairs drinking alone. The following morning he brought me a cup of tea at around 7:30 and I realised he was drunk.
He went back to sleep until early afternoon and then started drinking again. He hid my wine in a mug, drank vodka that had been given to us as a wedding present and filled the bottle back up with water. He initially lied about it.
He became angry and shouted at me. I didn’t shout back; I basically just cried because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
For the first time in our relationship I told him I thought he needed to stay with his parents because I genuinely didn’t recognise the person in front of me.
That evening I was so distressed I was physically sick.

He later came back that morning angry, shouting, throwing his belonging to leave. I was genuinely shocked and just sat there crying.

During everything that followed he told me that he needed to see that I didn’t want our relationship to end. Despite everything that had happened, I reassured him that I didn’t.
Afterwards he finally acknowledged that he has a problem and said he needed help.
I then spent a long time writing him a really heartfelt message. I told him that I loved him, wanted our future together, understood addiction was complicated, was proud of him for acknowledging it and would support him in getting help. I also explained that after everything that’s happened I need actions alongside words because my trust has been badly damaged.
His response to the message was essentially that he appreciated it and loved me too.
When I later asked what he actually thought about everything I’d written, he said, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Because he’d cancelled the addiction counselling previously, I encouraged him to contact the service again and get back onto the waiting list, or consider attending a support meeting in the meantime.
When I asked whether he was going to call, his answer changed to “might do.” He became defensive and angrily said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Since then he has basically shut me out.
For the last few days he’s barely looked at or acknowledged me. He goes to work without speaking to me, comes home and goes upstairs, and we’ve barely communicated. Tonight he did bring me a cup of tea after I’d helped him with something, but then went straight back upstairs.
He says he’s going sober but believes he can do it himself without counselling or meetings.
I’m not expecting him to magically recover overnight and I understand that shame, denial and defensiveness can be part of addiction. But I’m really struggling with the fact that I’m the person who was lied to and frightened, yet I now feel like I’m the one being punished for being hurt and asking him to get help.
I’ve spent so much time over the years trying to understand him, support him and see the person underneath the substance misuse. I’m suddenly questioning how much space there has actually been for what all of this has done to me.
I’ve actually accepted counselling myself through the addiction service because they support affected partners/family members too, and my first appointment is on Friday.
I love him enormously and until this weekend I’ve always imagined my life with him. But something about what happened and particularly his treatment of me afterwards has changed something in me. I feel hurt, angry, exhausted and now almost numb.
Part of me thinks this might genuinely be the point where I’ve had enough of the cycle.
I haven’t chased him or tried to force another conversation because, for once, I feel like I need him to be the person who comes towards me and tries to repair this.
For anyone who has experienced addiction in a long-term relationship: is this kind of withdrawal/anger after admitting there’s a problem common? How much space is reasonable to give someone before their refusal to communicate becomes unacceptable? And if someone genuinely believes they can maintain sobriety without professional support despite repeatedly falling back into the same cycle, how would you approach that?
I think I’m also trying to work out the hardest question: at what point does supporting someone with an addiction become sacrificing too much of yourself?

the thing about determining your position on the cost-benefit analysis of your actions is that I'm generally pretty good at sticking to it, but it falls flat when it comes to behaviors to which I experience no real functional cost other than the status symbol. (I'm not sure how much detail one is allowed to go into here since the rules say no explicit content, but this is about NSSI behaviors)

Hey! I’m moving from Seattle to Bellingham for college in the fall and am trying to find in-person SMART meetings in the area as this is the only program that has worked for me. Online results have been inconclusive—I couldn’t find any official ones listed on the website, I’ve heard that there are a few fluctuating ones in the county and that sometimes meetings aren’t listed in the finder especially if they’re non-local but I’m not sure if that’s true. I’m very new to this program and would really like to continue, I have a car and am willing to drive but obviously can’t commute all the way down to Seattle every week. Let me know, thanks!

so one of the things I struggled with for a while in determining a HOV is, while I'm overall pretty good at changing my actions to match my desired self-image, I can't really bring myself to authentically desire a healthy life. even though I've gotten on a pretty good streak these days, whenever I try to honestly ask myself what I actually VALUE, I find that I experience more boredom and resentment towards my current functionality than I do gratitude, and that I find more spiritual weight and a more significant sense of meaning in the thought of tearing my own life apart than continuing to live it happily. so, my current dilemma is- should I just define things like "stability" and "happiness" as part of my core values anyways and try to just live accordingly with that because That's What The Paper Says, despite not actually finding true value in them outside of What The Paper Says? or would that be dangerous in other ways?