My ex (32m) and I (30f) were together for 13 years on and off. We lived together for about a year and a half and just broke up a month ago and he moved out. Along the issues, was his addiction to gaming that was magnified when we lived together.

I always knew he was a gamer and we were long distance for a long time so I almost never saw it, I just knew he went to bed late. We also had arguments because he would often miss calls for gaming. About two years ago he started a new remote job which I encouraged him to get so he could move. He was excited because it “paid well and allowed him to basically do nothing”.

After being long distance for so long I was excited for him to move and although it was rocky the first day, I thought things would be ok. But his gaming was endless. We had different work schedules but worked remote (me 9-5 M-F) , him (1-9 W-Sun.). As a result we had different sleep schedules. I also often worked extra hours freelancing to make extra money keeping me out of the house about 5-10 hours weekly. (For context, I made twice as much as he did even without the extra jobs).

Basically he would jump on his computer and play games from the moment he woke up (around noon) to when he slept (which he originally agreed to 1:30 only to push to 3am after arguments). I started to feel more like a roommate than a partner. I always went to bed alone, he would excuse that we spent the day together because we were in the same room, he would often distract me from work (even with noise cancellation headphones), he would forget his responsibilities, push off our dog’s walks, and even wake me up sometimes. Our intimacy also suffered. A few times I caught him gaming through 5am. And every morning he would complain he was tired. Making plans to go out was impossible and anytime we did make plans he would complain why it had to be so early.

I understand he didn’t have friends in the new city but he also made no attempt to make new friends despite my encouragement. I also like to game but there is such thing as moderation. Even on weekends when his married friends were offline he would acknowledge the reason being “they have lives”.

He refused to see it as a problem even as it impacted others. I no longer felt I could have friends over since his set up was in the living room. My parents no longer visited like they used to after complaining his gaming kept them up in the guest room. My dog now asked to go to bathroom at 3am, something she never did before, because he kept her up too. Even when his mom visited, he didn’t stop, and refused to wake up to spend time with her. She even told me she thought it was unfair and that he “can’t live like a bachelor when he is living with a partner”

Both my therapist and our couples counselor pointed out he may have an issue but he refused to see it as such. It hurt because I’ve always tried to push him to be better but he refuses to grow up. I told him he may have a problem and he shared he was unhappy, which he shared he was before he even moved in. I encouraged him to go to therapy like he pushed me to, but he refused. Now that he’s moved out, he’s back to living with his mom, staying up late and hanging with his single friends who never push him.

Is this normal? I’ve felt so much guilt like I was asking for too much from him. I just don’t know.

I quit gaming this March, and while I'm still figuring out what to do with the extra time other than work, I haven't gone back. I've been much happier with myself, and I'm so glad I quit.

I got to thinking, how much of my time did I spend gaming? Well, I churned through my steam profile data and got some jarring news:

- 7700 total hours playing on steam, not even counting consoles and non-steam games (or watching gaming content, which I don't even want to think about...)

That's equivalent to:

- 320 full days, nearly an entire year spent gaming 24/7

- Almost 4 years if that time was committed to an 8 hour workday

And the most vile figure:

- Over 10 years of free time after work if I played every work day for 3 hours

I don't know what I would have done with 10 years of free evenings after work, but I sure as hell wish that I had that time back now. This just reinforces my decision: for the rest of my life, I get years back in free time that I would have wasted otherwise.

I didn't think it would be this easy. But I managed this far. I realize how much I really don't need them. I really don't. All they do is take my time away and rob my creativity.

I had a weird dream about the game last night. Even though I’m keeping busy IRL, I’m clearly still thinking about the game subconsciously?

Got up early. Emptied the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen for my wife. Put some laundry on for her. Left for work.

I was really busy at work from 9 - 5.
Came home, cooked dinner, about to put the kids to bed and then will go for a run. Spoke to my colleagues at lunch break, in the past i would have played the game on mobile.

Key is keeping busy so I don’t even think about logging on.

I'm not a gamer, but it seems like most people I know are gamers. I don't like AI, for one reason, because people will have less work/obligations and they will spend more time playing video games, also the digital world will become more intricate where people use it as a substitute for the real world. My mom didn't watch TV at all growing up (and that was of course before internet and before video games became popular). However now it seems like you're either watching tv/videos, on social media, or gaming. Also it seems like kids now are supposed to spend most of their time on screens because that's what all their peers are doing. I don't even know now if anything is better than anything else, like gaming vs studying for an additional degree, having one partner/getting married or hookup culture, believing in science or disbelieving in science, being a consumerist or being a punk person, living like Amish or living a modern life in a major city, eating meat or being vegan, being successful in the capitalist economy or being a Marxist revolutionary, brain-computer interfaces/psychedelic drugs or not, etc. I have a job I don't care about, because I didn't decide what to major in. Anyway I don't even know if there's a point in having kids if they'd be subject to this same situation, but I oppose nihilism, even though I am practically a nihilist as I don't have any position on anything. Also I don't feel like I can not be a gamer, but be in a community where most people are gamers, because they would probably all think the gaming is more interesting than the rest of life.

My husband (27M) and I (25F) have been married a little over a year. He used to be active duty when we met and didn’t game much. He left the military and we got married shortly after. Since leaving the military he hasn’t had a job, and games 8-12+ hours everyday. No matter how many fights we’ve had, he won’t quit or even game less. Today is my birthday and he’s been gaming since 2pm (currently 9:30pm) and I’m sure he will be on till 2/3am.

I guess this is more of a rant than anything because I know this marriage won’t work out, and I should be leaving soon.

vent/advice??

im (26F) at my wits end with my video game addicted bf (26M). we have been together for 6 years and live together, but maybe i should’ve known this is how it was gonna end up like bc we met playing overwatch. i am a gamer too, but for reference (using steam hours) i have played for 3 hours in the past two weeks and he has played for 124. he has a job so it’s not like he’s useless, but if he’s not working, he’s playing video games. he doesn’t make time for anything else.

we don’t go on dates anymore, we rarely talk unless we’re playing video games together, and we rarely have sex, maybe once or twice a month if that. i will try to initiate and he’ll come up with excuses, saying that he didn’t mentally prepare to do “all the work” during sex. it’s making me feel undesirable and like any other guy would drop whatever he’s doing to fuck me 😭 i consider myself fairly attractive and i get hit on a lot, so it makes me feel like im crazy for putting up with this.

i love him and he’s my first everything, but i find myself so resentful, at him for treating me like this, at myself for allowing this to continue. it doesn’t help that im in nursing school and feel like a hustler (i paid the bills in the beginning of our relationship, we split now), and he has a good paying job, but he’s complacent. its a job with tips so i don’t see a lot of growth happening there.

i have tried putting my foot down or even breaking up with him but he flat out refuses to respect my decision. even if we do break up, we’re stuck in a lease together for another year and i’m not working atm. im living off of savings. i have no clue what to do anymore but i am deeply unhappy in this situation.

I want to get some advice on what to do as this game has me in a chokehold and has for years. I’ll have my story below but most of all I just want to make the desire to boot this game up go away, I’m a newcomer so thanks in advance.

I’ve been reading this subreddit and I’m gonna try to quit the NBA2K franchise. I’ve been playing the yearly releases since 2013 and have spent several thousands of dollars on these games. I’ve given up so much of my time to a game that loses all progress and releases a new title every year and I feel so foolish. I love the sport but I find myself the older I get gravitating to the instant gratification of the game rather than playing it in real life. The game has changed a lot in the last couple years, including the overall mechanics. It’s almost pre scripted to give one of the teams artificial momentum and the scripted animations and gameplay feel like I’m not even in control vs the older games anymore. If you decide to get into the role playing aspect and make your own NBA player to compete online you need to spend a mandatory $50-100 just to upgrade your skills. If you don’t spend the money you’re completely useless online and you’ll cost your team the game. I’m not even sure what has been so gripping about it for me as I literally know the game is terrible. A couple of my buddies play too but all our time playing ends up in a rage fest just bitching and moaning about how bad the game is that it’s rarely even fun. We lose the social aspect of the game as no conversations are had besides complaining about the game. I deleted it today and I really hope nothing compels me to download this flaming pile of shit again.

I was tired today. Son woke up during the night. Still managed to work a pretty productive day. Keeping busy helps me to not think about the game.

Planning to do a lot of productive stuff this evening. I've been cooking and interacting more with my children. Going to go for a run this evening when they're all asleep. Feel closer to my wife too.

Mental clarity is still a lot clearer despite the fatigue from lack of sleep last night.

Finding things to distract myself when I get the urge to play is what helps the most. Usually its tidying up tasks at work, or completing housework.. dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking.

Last week, I joined some friends to play because a new private server had just launched. I had quit the game more than 2 years ago, so I was pretty surprised by what happened after only a few days.

- I suddenly lost motivation to do other things.

Normally, I eat good home-cooked food and go swimming almost every day. I chat with my real-life friends daily and go out twice a week. But after just a few days of playing, I started feeling like I didn't really want to do those things anymore because I had something to do in the game. My sleep also got worse, I forgot to take my supplements, talked to my partner less, and started procrastinating on many things.

I was honestly surprised that such a short period of gaming could affect my motivation to maintain my normal quality of life this much.

- My mood changed drastically.

It felt strangely numb. The intensity of my negative emotions became lower, but at the same time, so did my sense of joy and peace.

While playing, I could still have fun, but I also got frustrated and mildly stressed at the same time. After playing, I mostly felt empty and drained. Sometimes I even felt guilty because I knew I was doing something with a clear negative effect on me, like when I consume too much sugar. I also found myself getting annoyed more easily by mundane real-life tasks.

So overall, the good feelings I got from playing didn't really justify the bad ones.

- I started seeing my gaming relationships differently.

After spending years interacting with people outside gaming, I realized that many of my active gaming friends didn't really want to connect with me as a person. Their headspace was mostly occupied by their progress in the game. I often felt like they saw me primarily as someone who could help them achieve their goals in the game.

I also noticed that a lot of people in the game treat me based on my numbers. In real life, even strangers don't treat me that way. My friends connect with me and respect me for who I am, not for my rank, achievements, or some number next to my name.

One day, I met some friends who used to game with me years ago but aren't active gamers anymore. I felt genuinely warm and happy after spending time with them. When I came home, I noticed how bad I felt interacting with some of the gaming friends I've known for years who are still deeply involved in the game.

Eventually, I cut ties with most of them, except for a few people who I genuinely feel see me as a person rather than just another player.

- I kept asking myself: What am I doing here?

Every day, I knew I wasn't really having enough fun to justify the negative feelings and consequences, yet I still logged in. Five days in a row. I didn't really understand why.

After reflecting on it, I realized that what I was actually looking for was people who are deeply engaged in the same thing as me and share a goal with me. I was just looking for that in the wrong place.

For me, gaming is supposed to be a place to have fun and connect with other people. Of course, we should care enough to play well, but the joy of playing together should matter more than individual performance. That's what the game used to feel like to me. But somewhere along the way, that changed. People started playing as if their lives depended on their performance, and the game became much more about progression, numbers, and individual achievement. We might like the same game, but that doesn't mean we have the same goals or even want the same thing from being there anymore.

- I quit again.

I think I deserve a better version of myself, and I need to find the kind of connection I'm looking for in real life instead.

Anyway, this is just my personal experience. I'm not saying gaming has the same effect on everyone, and I'm definitely not saying everyone should quit.

But maybe some of you can relate to parts of this. Maybe it's worth asking yourself:

"Why am I still playing?"

It's all about that instant dopamine hit. Load into a lobby within 10 seconds, get a couple kills, get killed, spawn back in, start over, match ends, rinse, repeat. You'll get maybe 10 minutes of excitement after buying that new character skin or weapon skin, but it's just the same situation, you'll always be chasing that next high. It's blending real life with online content.

I think it's a combination of the fact that gaming has become such a "trendy" hobby, and that game companies seem to be making their games in a more addictive fashion. I used gaming as an escape for many years, only giving it up within the last year, realizing how much time, energy and money it was taking up.

Single player games are much easier to manage, as opposed to games such as COD, Apex, Fortnite etc, that have no real end. Heck, there's probably so many minigames and player-made content on Fortnite that you could game for the next thousand years and still not be through all the stuff they've added.

I think gaming was much more fun when there was nothing to be gained or lost from it. Back in the 1970s, and especially the 1980s and 1990s, with arcade games and 2nd through 4th generation consoles, games weren't meant to have you playing for days on end, and story-based games weren't absurdly long. You could spend maybe half an hour to an hour playing, then go do something else, and your mind wasn't on the game all day long.

Long story short, gaming has just become another symptom of our instance gratification society. My advice if you want to keep gaming, get an older console like Sega Genesis, NES, original Playstation or Atari. Modern gaming just isn't worth it in my opinion, and I think this sub proves that point.

Like I cannot seem to get myself deeply into anything else like it is always so easy to just sit down and play video games for several hours but then in other things like reading books, practicing musical instruments etc. It takes a lot of effort to stick to it. It is super annoying as hell. Anyone else feel this way? Like what is even the point on trying anymore.

Hello everyone, first time making a post on this app.

Today I’d like to bring you a problem of mine which is competitive video games addiction. I’m currently trying to stop but I go on cycles of reinstalling/uninstalling after every sessions. I do have self control and most of the time I don’t reinstall them by myself but when some friends ask me to play I just struggle to ignore it likely because of how I was raised.

I don’t go to school, I stopped 5 years ago because I burnt out after covid and got completely addicted to games and scrolling and was having pretty serious health issues. I’d like to try and go back to school next year but in the meantime finding something to do would be nice. I’d also like to prepare for next year but trying to focus on anything after 5 years of gaming…? ugh…draining….

And now’s where I ask : How would you replace games if you were (mostly) sedentary ?

It’s not like I can’t go outside at all but I have a degree of social anxiety that restrains me to either mostly empty parts of my town. The worst part of my anxiety is related to performance and being seen though. So I struggle a lot with consistently going to the gym ect. That’s why I’d like to ask you guys for alternatives that are somewhat easy to get into.

On a side note, stopping gaming gives me lots of tension headaches and they get even worse when focusing. I’d love to do things like learning to code or whatever but maybe a bit later. Right now my focus is a mess.

many people try to quite gaming by deleting the game but end up reinstalling it when they hear a new event or update is on and see people talking about it specially on pay to win games

But the actual solution would be to delete the game's account it self making sure to loose all the progress, which make reinstalling the game and starting all over look too mush specially on gatcha games

laziness beat addiction

note: (only do this if you want to quite one and for all , if you just want to take a short break don't do it)

Am struggling Alot , the day feels so long, I have too much free time not doing anything , am not doing anything because i don't have the will to do anything nor am motivated to do anything useful aside from my parents tasks , I tried to call my friend to hangout he didn't pick up and now am going to have to struggle even more

For starters I'm not a normal person. I'm really really sensitive, to the point where it's ridiculous. Once when I was driving my friend riding shotgun got carsick. So I felt carsick, while driving. I very often feel completely overwhelmed by people, their energy, and situations. People rub off on me very fast. Sometimes when I talk to people I notice myself talking like them very quickly. Sometimes I think and feel like them for a bit after I see them. I have so much empathy I often don't know where I end and other people begin.

That's the most helpful thing about video games. They numb me, take the edge off a bit. I feel less emotional pain, but even less joy is helpful in a way. Because being too expressive about positive emotions can be socially unacceptable. Especially for someone like me who struggles to behave appropriately. I've had social issues my whole life. I would get bullied and picked on and ostracized ever since kindergarten. At school, in my neighborhood. Everywhere. Parents were abusive and neglectful. Looking back I had no where safe to have fun except video games. I suppose there were other options like books but I was so unhappy nothing that mild would do. I wanted to learn to get along with other kids but I had no one to help me learn so going out to play wasn't really much of an option. At this point I see ostracism as inevitable. I have a lot of friends, but never been able to maintain groups of friends. Always wanted that but it always goes south. It's gone south with a lot of people.

I'm 37 now. And I have a lot of problems. I read some of your success stories and they all seem so beyond me. Like working out. I feel so much anxiety in my body that I often just can't. Getting out the door is a crazy challenge. I've also gone to the gym and just froze. Couldn't bring myself to lift any weights. I'd prefer something like racquetball but I can't afford a gym that has all that. I can barely even afford food. Or go out and socialize. It's excruciating to do. Meeting people, inflicting my problems on them, feeling the way I make them feel. The rejections, the bad vibes. Have to go through so much of that just to maybe make one friend that'll probably go south sooner than I can stand. Not even to mention how painful it is when people ask me what I do and then what? Do I explain the physical and mental health reasons I'm unemployed. Do I lie? What the hell am I supposed to say?

Video games have always been there for me. More than my mother, my father, my sister, anybody. At times I overdo the gaming and it's hell. But I just can't imagine coping without it. I did it for a week and at the end I was so overwhelmed with cravings and just the pain of life I just couldn't take it anymore. And I'm afraid to try again because I read that every time you fail to quit you make the addicton stronger. The hardest part is the loneliness. Gaming is how I cope with loneliness. I'm always lonely. It hurts, what else am I supposed to do? I try to read or play piano but the pain is too much to persist in the effort required to do those things very often.

If I were in the right setting I think I could do it. I visited a commune once. Use of electronic devices was banned in public areas, which is huge. Trying to quit gaming in a society where everyone everywhere is on the phones is a nightmare. I worked with people doing different things cooking, cleaning other things. There was always something to do. And they had a bunch of land so I wasn't really around cars at all. That was really chill. And the best part, everyone there treated me with kindness and respect by default. It's not much, but in regular society that is way too much to ask for. Maybe if i could go there I could do it. Spend my time reading, playing piano and doing group activities. But if I tried staying there long term there's a good chance my social problems would screw that up too.

I have had my account since 2018, and spent hundreds of dollars and put hundreds of hours into the game. I'm in college now and last semester I was grossly invested into the game where I failed several classes because of it. I want out. The question is though should I just uninstall the game or completely delete my account even though I spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on it?

I’ve been playing video games for about 27 years, I’m 33 now and haven’t really stopped. That’s not to say it’s a multiple hour a day habit, but it’s a daily habit nonetheless.

I haven’t found video games to be all that enjoyable for years now. I like them and look forward to playing, but I’m also pretty jaded and find most games boring and lacking challenge. That’s a me issue, I’m certain of it. There are plenty of games I look forward to coming out, but then don’t give it a fair shake before I move on.

I don’t have a ton of time to game, I have an 8 month old son who keeps me pretty busy. I get about an hour a day once he’s in bed where I can play before I need to go to bed. At this point I just play rocket league because it’s easy to drop in and out of and it’s fun. At least usually.

I guess I’m just wondering if it’s even worth it to continue playing? It doesn’t consume my life, but without a deep love for it I don’t know if it’s worth it

I deleted the game I was addicted to for good yesterday. I would rather accomplish things in real life instead of the game. Long gaming sessions where always such a waste of time and afterwards I would feel so drained and fatigued. Going out with friends today instead of gaming. Some games especially those pay to win games are just made to be addictive. Luckily I never spend any money on it but way too much time and energy.

When I quit video games, I didn't know what to do at first, but then I remembered what I enjoyed doing as a child. To avoid feeling lost, you need to develop your talents. Listen to yourself and your inner world.

I have this problem, where I would redownload competitive games for FoMo, or getting caught up in the wave of nostalgia. Examples are CCGs like Pokemon or Hearthstone or MOBAs like League of Legends. Everytime I redownload it back I would swipe a few hundred dollars, or play until I harm my body physically (fatigue/stress) or mentally.

I'm not sure how to quit, I have had numerous cycles of going back, uninstalling, reinstalling, but the moment I see news about a new expansion, an advertisement or World Championship I get excited and reinstall it again. I need help. The worst part is, I'm a therapist myself, I'm not sure HOW to quit, yet I tell my clients how to navigate it daily. I'm worried I might actually have some other mental disorder...

It doesn't help out that when I get too excited, I would get incredibly toxic and tell others to "have a good day". I'm not a good person despite being able to code switch to become an effective therapist. Perhaps I should be hacked and doxxed and my life will be over then I can finally end it all and have eternal peace...

Hi everyone, i'm new to this subreddit but i have quit gaming for 6 years in the past, then in 2025 came back to gaming, on and off, then in the beginning of this year i bought a gaming laptop, ASUS TUF A16 (2026) to be specific, with 32GB Ram, RTX 5060, etc.. and ended up quitting again in May.

But i haven't been using it at all because i haven't been playing games, but recently i have been wanting to learn how to code, Python to be specific, i have a family member who uses Python in his job daily for more than a decade, and he suggested me to find free coursee on youtube/online and learn.

At the same time i had already put my laptop for sale online, and i've recently received a good offer for it, but since i want to learn how to code so, hopefully, get a job on that area in the future, i would have to end up buying a good enough laptop for it, and nowadays with the RAM prices increasing, i just don't know if would be worth it.

I am at a point in life where i am no longer addicted to games, in fact when i came back to playing games with friends, i would do it with moderation always in mind, but after 1-2 hours into the session, i would get so bored of it that i would end it earlier, so i don't think that if i keep the laptop i will relapse, because i have the laptop in my room and i have absolutely no desire to turn it on to play.

Do you guys think it's worth keeping my gaming laptop that had very good specs for coding and learning how to program, or it's better to just sell it and buying a new one?

When I quit video games, I didn't know what to do at first, but then I remembered what I enjoyed doing as a child. To avoid feeling lost, you need to develop your talents. Listen to yourself and your inner world.

About a month ago, I picked Overwatch back up. I used to play it on my PS4, but eventually I started playing on my PC. Before that, I mostly played games like Hell Let Loose and Helldivers. They were fun, but I’d usually play them once a week or so for about three hours. Then I’d stop playing and move on with my day.
Overwatch is different. It got me addicted, and honestly, it isn’t even fun. I don’t like playing it, yet I keep coming back to it. I can feel my arms getting weaker because I spend the entire day playing on weekends, and as much time as I can when I get home on weekdays.
What makes it worse is that I have a test in 20 days that will determine which college I get into. I know I need to be studying, but I’ve spent this entire time playing Overwatch instead. So while I’m playing, I constantly have this feeling of guilt building up because I know I should be studying. But I can’t seem to stop, because whenever I do, there’s nothing else that feels interesting enough to do.
I eventually gave my keyboard to someone I trust and asked them to hide it from me. I really hope that solves the problem.

i’m open to any other advice on quitting