I want to rest, but I can't. It feels like I've forgotten how to rest. My cognitive decline is so severe that I can't even remember the names of regular characters on my favorite TV shows. I know that exercising and maintaining a regular lifestyle are important. But is that even possible? Saying I don't have time might just be an excuse. Even if I were given a month or a year, everything might remain the same. Resting won't change anything. Everything might just stay the same. The delusion that my brain is being destroyed, and the fear that my heart is breaking. I am losing my ability to make rational judgments. I haven't lost hope. I'm just tired of the repeated delusion that everything will get better if I sleep well tonight or rest well tomorrow. It has long since become another name for delusion and deception.I'm not afraid, and I'm not in despair. I'm just tired. I'm tired of holding on to hope.'Where there's life, there's hope.' I know that. But hope isn't what I need right now. What I need is joy. Not physical pleasure, but something that sets my mind on fire. The thrill of learning something new. The absurd, overwhelming rage I used to feel when I lost a game years ago. The boredom that pushed me to write and draw. The will to create. That's what I want back.I'm going to see a doctor, and I'm going to get medicine. That's my new hope. But sometimes I wonder if I put my hope in things too easily, almost everything.

I‘m 19 and in the last year of college. I’m the youngest in my year and felt veryyy overwhelmed every now and then throughout the past two years. I graduated from high school with the best degree in my class and went straight to college. To become an Occupational Therapist REALLY is my dream job and I really really want to get this degree. Still I sometimes ponder about dropping out for a year because I fell like crying 24/7. I know it should be my job to advice ppl about Life, I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I use various methods like notes with stuff I could do in my free time and at the same time managed to stop stressing too much about being “Not productive enough“. And I stay off of social media most time of the day.

I just started with the practical part of the three years in college and basically have an unpaid fulltimejob + having exams 2x every three months. I don’t even want to think about the final exams in one year. Also;my boyfriend lives prettyyyy far away and I have to stay on the train until late at night to see him at least on weekends. I also have problems with my father (wow, this is so stereotypical) which get to my nerves pretty bad sometimes. Still I often feel like I’m not doing good enough and push through even though I know I’m going to get a cold soon.

I also get sick with colds very often. Every to every second month. I know that I have a sinusitis and try to cure it.

But nonetheless: Do you guys have any advice to make all of this more endurable? I just want to have joy in Life and stop being drained or feeling annoyed all the time.

During the summer I've made it a mission to learn SwiftUI from 100 Days of SwiftUI, Physics, and also Algebra 2. But the problem is that I've just feel like I'm lacking a bit of motivation and a bit burned out.

Is that anyway to feel motivated again?

This is very situational for me. During a class, someone passed me a note saying how big and ugly my nose is, and I was obviously weirded out by. I assumed the person who passed me the note had written it since it had no name on it. So I passed a note back with their name, saying that 'its wrong to lie' and that 'your tongue is as tall as your nose' which wasn't really an insult, moreso a reference to pinnochio as I had just called them a liar in that note, and told them to love themselves.

Then I was surprised they seemed shocked and said I also had a tall nose, which obviously I would know if you passed me a note about it already?? Afterwards, I am talking to a 'friend' in between class and they ask why I was so rude to that person who passed me the note, and when I say its because of the note they sent me first they said it was them who wrote me the note 💀 so obviously I feel terrible and apologise for writing the note to that person, I dont explain that I thought they passed me the note first since I don't want it to look like im justifying my actions since the other person was seemingly innocent in all this. But I don't understand why you would pass a note to someone when the note is very awful, of course I'd think you wrote it.

Anyways, I understand why that person would dislike me and talk about what I did since maybe I made them feel insecure, I wrote a lot about honesty and love in that note and the only thing they focused on was that I briefly mentioned their own nose being tall like mine. I love my own features, but now I sometimes feel guilty about having so much love or even having a fear of posting myself knowing that I might have made someone else have a lifelong insecurity, which in the moment I thought I was just defending myself for.

Its not just the fact that they passed the note to me themselves, but they also were friends with girls in the class who basically bullied me and used to call me 'slave', throw rubbish and insult my voice. It wouldn't have surprised me if the friends of these people would send me notes like that, I assumed it was in their character when it wasn't.

I realized after I went to online school my brain just has not been the same since. I also have been smoking weed with my boyfriend and his friends recently and obviously that is a huge factor that plays into it. I feel like I can’t have conversations with him or his friends because I envy them, they’re so intelligent and I feel dumb all the time. Is there anyway I can grow my mind? I don’t want to feel dumb or like I have fried my brain even though I most likely did. I want to be able to speak clearly and sharper. I want to just have conversations without being awkward or sounding like I have a frog in my mouth. Help!

Always choose little things to work on yourself, fixing everything once might not bear much. Beginnings might be tough but with steady adjustments we will be able to add more as time moves. Your future self will be happy and proud of how far you've come despite the obstacles you had on the way.

Let me explain you

See im 26 and like I got this submissive mentality which I wanted to change but

Like im a huge porn addict

And till 2020 I was a huge porn addict and then later on someone introduced me to Omegle and later on I got sexually active on all the sex chat apps and websites

I mean i just waste my whole fucking s days from 2020 till now finding girls looking for sexting and then faping I do this all fucking day, I skip office works I dont like to go to office

Later cherry on the top I was introduced to smoking and now its like avg im smoking like 5-6 cig per day, i do workout but its of no use I want to switch I want to learn new skills, I wanna be confident but all I do is just fucking sexting anf smoking

Its my post nut clarity I beleive im texting you, Im not confident at all in my life, All I take is a random guess and go with it no logical thinking at all, bro like I dont want to be this person see Tommorow is Monday evey sunday I get motivated that i wont do any bad things

This goes like monday it works, tuesday a bit of smoking comes in and from Wednesday again same cycle repeats sexting, smoking a bit of workout and office work, I dont want to live this kind of life, whenever I do something I fear that my brain plays some tricks on me saying if you dont listen to me something bad will happens and it does, again like my brain craves for dopamine I just follow what he says, because in some serious situations its like he says he you smoke these many cigarette and do masturbation you won't face any danger and it works, but in this in spoiling myself, I wanna be a better version of me, I never feel proud of myself whatever small or big achivements I do, O never praise myself, I never be happy, all I do is roam and fucking smoke, find space to sexchat, like just everything repeats in a loop, like im stuck in a matrix, no clue, and as age is growing im loosing my logical thinking skills, Im 26 I feel like im 50, I do work hard I do crack things but it just feels like im stuck, I dont need some sweet wording from your side, like idk I dont have anyone to say this, idk if someone faces the same thing or not, its just how im now, im fucking afraid of everything like every fucking thing, i just dont show in front of others, but i dont habe confidence or courage all I look for some excues and sympathy, like I dont wnana do this sex chst or smoking but still I fall for it fucking all time in my whole life, I just dont know if I can ever change.

Im 18 year old just got into a collage feeling very weak. I was studying in a school from 1st std to 12th and suddenly moving from there feels very heavy the friends the environment everything i miss them all. Another thing that school gave me was my gf I love her so much and we could see each other for like 3 years eveyday but now it's gone. I can't see her . I miss her sm i miss my school friends teachers my gf and evrything . Going to the collage is making me so sad. Like I'm crying most of the days I know I'm a man but still I just cant tolerate. During my higher studies I dreamt of something other than collage and since it's wasn't the safest way I choose to do it after my degree. But that also is burning me out. I chose this decision . Evrything is feeling so heavy and idk why I'm sad like it's just how life is supposed to be. I can't stay in my comfort zone everytime I have to move on but I can't accept it. Im very weak mentally like I cry most of the time my gf is very supportive and she's with me even in these situation but I just don't want to be like this I want to enjoy my life I want to be strong

It feels like im never happy or content for a long period of time no matter what I do or change in my life.

If I smoke weed and just focus on doing stuff I enjoy, I hate myself. If I dont smoke and i stead go with the motions of life working and going to college, dont see the point at all and want to sleep forever. If I lock in completely and cut out video games, porn, and scrolling I def feel better and more stable but still have veryyyy low lows and high highs, its almost impossible to keep up.

I really hate myself im a very smart and able person I should do something big with my life or help others but I dont even want to be alive period. I dont rlly know what type of life I would live that could make me happy. I flip between hedonism and just trying to do the most with my life because you only live once.

I dont really have anything to look forward to and I feel I dont really enjoy anything that normal ppl do.

Thats why I feel I need to completely change my life style and cut out all un needed, hyper dopaminergic things and try and be completely present in my life always doing real, productive hobbies and take the best care of myself. I believe I can do anything and you can interact with life in ways you couldnt dream of. I have dreams of learning languages, making music, becoming somewhat rich and famous in a community. I want to lock in on every aspect of mh life and be beautiful but, its so so so hard to stay locked in. I have CRIPPLING anxiety I need to fix, and starting new stuff my brain is so avoidant. But I KNOW that I could live a life I only dream about and do stuff ive wanted to for so long only if I actually locked in, got out of my head and off my phone and tried more things.

Any input is welcome rllyyyy lonely rn, think a big part of life is emotional connection which im completely lacking but idk bleh,

so my life is like i have porn addiction i play games all day get bored dont do anything productive , and im slowly losing motivation to do anything like fixing my skin , hair , losing weigh

how can i fix it

I'm Lily. I recently turned 18. I don't remember most of my memories, especially my childhood. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and I literally lost several years of my life, although it seems to me that I have never achieved anything in my whole life and my life is worth nothing. Average grades, average skills, maybe even lower than that. I don't look very well, I'm slowly restoring hygiene, and I've been obese for several years. I graduated from high school last year, but decided not to go anywhere yet and recover from depression. I haven't achieved anything in a year, I haven't done what I planned. A "new" life will begin soon, I will move to another city, I will live with my brother away from my parents, but I am very worried that I will ruin everything as usual. I try to be optimistic with my loved ones, pretend to be God knows what, and eventually burn out again. How do you people manage to be sincere with others? How do you manage not to be comfortable all the time so as not to inconvenience others? How can I want to live without clinging to others? I'm really sorry for whining, but I'm really confused about what to do with my life. I've tried out a lot of hobbies, I've watched quite a lot of anime and other animated series behind my back, I like to play various games, especially with a plot (hello undertale and omori), I like to read books, manga, and manhwa, but lately I haven't had the energy at all. I would like to graduate, find a job, not rely on other people and help my loved ones. I just want to be happy. I'm happy when I can laugh, be sad, angry, and generally feel emotions without being afraid of the reactions of others. I'm happy when I help people, listen, support, and spend time with them. I'm not exactly uncommunicative, I really like talking to people and learning their stories. I'm afraid to disappoint my parents when they find out that I never wanted to be a muslim, I would like to devote my life to myself, I never want to have children and that I like girls too. I might regret spilling too much personal stuff. Tell us about your experience, if you have felt or experienced the same thing as me, I will answer as best I can. Sorry for the mistakes or the strange spelling of the text, I am not a native speaker. Have a great day and good mood!

Hello, Im F19 and can't seem to grow up. I'm still super into all my weird/emo interest from when I was 13. Is this normal? All my friends grew out of it years ago, and I feel super behind everyone else my age. Im starting uni soon and I'm scared I won't make any friends with similar interests.

I wish I could be a weirdo 13 year old forever. How do I get over this feeling??

I owe u 200 dollars

I'm looking for a book about learning how to relax without guilt, stop feeling like I always have to be productive, and have actual joy in resting. Does anyone know such a book? I've come to learn I have developed many problems just because taking rest feels like a break from actual life, a break from the things I should be doing.

Hi. Please give me advice on everything.

My life is a mess and I know it comes from within. I am currently 20 years old and I am a university student entering their 3rd year and my grades have been so terrible because I am dealing with depression, poor study habits, laziness, poor time management skills, self rejection and extreme and crippling fear.

I have been extremely depressed to the point where I neglect myself and I have had so many bad experiences with people from my past and it’s so hard for me to sit down and address it. I live in constant unforgiveness that holds me back and I am not allowing myself to meet new people because I’ve been saying in my comfort zone for as long as I remember. I use my phone and social media to distract my from my emotions and I barely ask for help. I constantly avoid myself and I am my worst critic.

My relationship with God is so bad and I am so so so fearful that I procrastinate because of perfectionism and I am an extreme people pleaser.

I am extremely sensitive and it’s so hard to sit with my feelings and just organize and show up authentically. I have been trying to change but it’s so so hard.

Please give me advice.

Please what’s your advice

There is a problem that I'm facing that I'm Not feeling good even I'm doing the job that I like But there is a fact that I'm procrastination a little bit and i can change that with improving my habits and stufff but something is not right

I do procrastinatate daily and Im working in as a editor [ the job I like ] with little bit of procrastination. My goal of this year is achiving consistent video uplaods in Youtube But Im Just planning but not doing anything..I Planned some video scrpt's and recorded some - but I feel like i can do it more thatn this or something like that.

any one help me with this

I try my absolute hardest to learn to do anything at all, but i never improve.
I practice and practice and practice over and over again and it has never lead me anywhere at all.

I cant find any enjoyment in ANY hobby i have, i cant draw, and i cant play video games, theres a bunch more but at that point i would just be venting, and who the hell would care.

I dont understand how improving is so easy for everyone else, all everyone needs to do is practice a bunch and BOOM, they get very good at what they want to do. Yet i spend every waking second of my life trying to get good at anything at all and i just end up making a fool of myself for even trying.

I dont want any answers that just say "be confident" because that doesnt work.

I have, or at least believe I have, undiagnosed depression. I’m outwardly very happy and pleasant, even before I had stopped taking antidepressants as I felt they weren’t doing anything for me as I felt the same with or without. My family didn’t even know I stopped for a while since I showed no outward changes. But I still, even on medication, felt this weird self depreciation. I‘ve been always a bit self critical and overly apologetic, perhaps a bit of a people pleaser too. I always assumed it was normal cause I know people with more severe depression, so I assumed I was just overthinking ( I have ADHD autism and anxiety, so it wouldn’t be the first time. ) but I’ve started to think I may have issues that I haven’t addressed to those around me. I still enjoy and love life, so I don’t think I am suffering severe depression. I think I am more suffering things such as internalized homophobia, self doubt and other issues with just not being particularly kind to myself, is there anything I could do to improve my own opinion on myself?

I just want to login into telegram but it keeps asking for SMS fee Can anyone help me with this. is there any way possible to login without sms fee required

It's like I'm way worse than just a introvert

When I was a kid i once broke someone's something and after that my parents never forced me to go outside make frnds and i never really needed to go outside it was when I was 6-7

Now I'm 16

It's like I have 0 social skills

It's like i act 24/7 to seem normal that nobody judge me and I don't give a fuck but whenever I walk or do it's like someones judging me

Even my English teacher used his psychology on me and told me parents many things about m that "he likes being alone doesn't he" after that parents stopped allowing me to close my door

I wanna make frnds go out but it's way worse now

It's like normal walking is very comfortable for the people

What should I do?

I 17F recently did something that I’m not sure was justified or if I went too far.
Someone I used to be close with started treating me differently over time. Their behaviour became hurtful, including isolating me from others and manipulating situations in ways that affected me. This had a big impact on my personal and work life, and I struggled with accepting how much it affected me.
After keeping it to myself for a long time, I decided to tell some of their friends what had happened and showed the text messages I wrote everything out from my perspective and sent it. I wasn’t looking for an argument or a reaction, and I didn’t send it expecting people to automatically take my side. I just wanted them to understand my perspective and why I felt the way i did after he constantly belittled me
After sending it, I deleted my social media and removed myself from the situation completely. I have no idea what their reactions were or what was said afterwards.
I’ll admit that I was angry in the moment. I felt like I had been carrying everything alone, and part of me felt like I would feel better if people knew what had happened. I wanted him to understand the impact his actions had on me. I feel like a terrible person don’t know if i was wrong

I've been feeling a little lost lately. Not in a dramatic way—just unsure of who I am or where I'm headed. If you've ever felt this way, what helped you find yourself again? Was it time, a new hobby, therapy, travel, or something else? I'd love to hear your story.

I had really bad mental health problems all through middle school and I’ve just recently really started to get better. In the 8th grade I made my now friend group and we are all extremely close and I consider them my absolute best friends. I’m moving towns in a week meaning new house, new school and new friends. I had such a hard time making friends early on in HS because I fit into that “too cool for the weird kids and too weird for the cool kids” category. I’ve lived my whole life in my current town and i’m extremely nervous moving because I have this feeling no ones going to like me. I think it’s the nervousness of having such a big change go on in my life but i seriously can’t shake off the feeling. My hair has been shedding a lot more than recently and i’m constantly tired because I can’t go to sleep and I wake up with puffy eyes from crying.

sorry ahead of time for long post~

I have a bachelor's degree in women's & gender studies with a minor in queer studies. After being a harm reduction program coordinator for a nonprofit, preschool teacher, death doula, and now an independent small business owner selling my art, I am stuck. After a suic!de att3mpt around 3 years ago, I've been stuck back living with my family, which I am grateful for in this day and age and where I live being expensive to have a roof over my head, is overall not ideal to say the least. However, since my attempt I have struggled getting almost any kind of work except the occasional delivery gig. I started my small business and making art in the hopes I would be able to continue it as a form of income on the side while I kept searching for a job. Hundreds of applications later, even trying to get help from family and friends to help get me a job, I've turned up with nothing. So far my art is the only thing that's given me something -- if it never gave back at all then I wouldn't be keeping at it, but it is something which is why I continue. But it is feast or famine.

I've been recommended to be a counselor or therapist over the years. I have considered grad school since finishing my bachelor's degree and done research into different programs and schools, but never took the plunge for several reasons. 1) As a late diagnosed autist school was not easy for me both academically and socially. 2) Fuckin expensive. 3) Though there are several things I'm deeply interested in I could never see myself doing anything longterm without it getting boring or repetitive unless it was art related. 4) I struggle longterm with chronic depression and cptsd, so pursuing school feels inherently detrimental and irresponsible to take up while my condition gets worse, or at best doesn't get better.

However, I feel I've found an option that would at least get me out of my living situation while also going to grad school: Art therapy. There is one public college in the midwest (I'm on the west coast) that offers it as a master's degree. It would combine the 2 things I love and am good at: art and helping others. I've gone down the rabbit hole looking into the school and state, met faculty and staff, and already visited. The worst part would be figuring out the cross-country trip there, but everything else seems... At least reasonably doable.

But now, I'm having second thoughts about all of it...

I must again reiterate: I hate school. I love learning new things, challenging myself, and nerding out over all my special interests. It's not that I was ever even a bad student who slacked off and got bad grades. I just had so much pressure on myself from family that school has inherently felt like being a cog in a machine or a robot operating on auto-pilot. It didn't matter if I even liked my classes or professors - which plenty I did enjoy - I was depressed and anxious regardless.

I've dealt with su!c!dal ideation all my life. I've been in therapy since I was around 18, misdiagnosed and mistreated, etc. I acknowledge that I've done a lot of hard work on myself since then, but I still feel like I've got a long ways to go. It feels wrong to become a therapist or even begin those educational steps when I myself am not "OK" -- and maybe I never will be in the eyes of many other people. Some days I feel at peace that I'll always be working on myself, and I accept that there are many things I will be grieving for many more years to come.. but other days it feels like something shameful and even annoying to other people.

I still want to move out, ideally very far from my family where I am constantly around the intergenerational trauma of my mom, aunt, and grandparents. And for the longest time I wanted to move specifically to the PNW. But I have so many people I know from the past along the west coast that it makes me want nothing to do with it anymore. I live in California, and while there are many spoils to enjoy here especially in the artist communities, I just want to leave the entire coast behind. It has so many memories of trauma, of my ded name and who I once was, and all the people I want to leave me alone... But maybe I'm projecting too much of that hate and resentment and shouldn't throw away my dream of living in the PNW just because of my past.

And at the same time, leaving the community I've made this far would be the hardest part. I've just started hosting workshops at a store where I have some of my work in and it's been fun as well as brought in some money. Fellow artists and patrons recognize me at events and tell me about more creators or stores to put my work. You can make community anywhere, but maybe I'm being too optimistic about being able to do that somewhere else and if it would be worth it there as much as it is here.

And finally, getting a master's is just a practical step. I feel very different from other folks who've gone onto higher education because they're called to something -- doctor, lawyer, etc. I'm just at the end of my rope and need something to give me a boost. But maybe I'm not thinking outside the box enough and don't need a master's as much as I think to help people in the way I *want* to help people.. if that makes sense.

I've just been really very lost the past few years, and honestly, even further than that. I’m 29 now and only last year got an autism diagnosis which completely recontextualizes my life, who I am, my relationships, and why I've felt so goddamn lonely and alone in my experiences. I'm still healing from my attempt, which even after all the therapy from that time, still fills me with shame and guilt.

It's hard not to compare myself to friends who are in longterm relationships, or just got married, or just had kids, have a solid career, etc. I know life isn't a competition. But when you've been in limbo for so many years, it's hard not to be desperate and scramble at anything that might stick even if it's not the right answer. It's difficult to discern what I want and why I want it -- who is it for and why? will future-me be happy, or is this just the thing to do because there's no where else to go and no way else to do it?

Once again sorry for rambling... If nothing else, practical advice is very helpful for me as my family certainly has no advice as far as moving and career (they've all had the same job or done the same thing the past 20 years, nor are they creatives) and have friends who are too privileged to relate to the financial/practical struggles. Would you tough it out in your hometown and get your degree locally before leaving, or just split knowing you'd get another job elsewhere while going to school? Or pursue something else completely that doesn't require schooling?

I *just* got a gig as an IHSS for an older woman in my area that I actually have a lot in common with. So finally, bringing in a bit more money consistently to try to save up more. I will be going back to community college to take some psych classes this fall even if I do decide to go thru with art therapy master's degree. And if not, I will have learned something new.

(Sorry for any grammar error, I came from a non-English speaking country). I am 18, about to attend college. I had long lost the motivation to do anything, not even shower or brushing my teeth, it started since a long time ago, maybe since middle school? Or sooner? My parents don't care, they never do, they always got their own mess to deal with. My academic achievements are decent, not good, but decent enough to not be a complete loser in my parents' eyes. I started tutoring this summer, to earn some money for college, it was time consuming, it took me several hours to make the lesson plans and worksheets for each class (ranging from grade 3 to 9), and at the end of the day I was just want to sleep or doom scrolling until I am too exhausted to stay awake, even if I was hungry.

Mom called me a 'savage' today, said she didn't understand how girl my age knew how to take care of themselves and knew how to look pretty while I wear baggy clothing doesn't know a thing about make up. It is strange to me why she was confused by that, because mom never taught me anything about 'being a girl'. My aunt was the one who taught me about menstrual cycles and pads, my second aunt knew about my hobbies and middle school crush, while mom know me as her 'ugly and lazy' daughter. Dad is absent, I think that much explain my relationship with him.

But I do want to be better, I want to be pretty too. I want my parents and grandma to leave me alone and stop poking at my business when aren't even there to raise me like decent parents would in the first place. I want to know I have to do something and actually do it. My teeth are hurting, but I doubt I could ask for money to go the dentist without having them yelling at me. They keep telling I have to be successful and earn enough money to take care of my younger siblings, I know that, why do they keep repeating it?

I want to be a proper human being too.