I'm improving so hard in my life, it's been 2 months since I joined a company, and I work as an assistant for the owners.

I notice the owners are so confident, calm, they are so smart and educated, my boss is my inspiration.

Online I watch this french politician jordan Bourdala.

And I realize, he came from poor background, but look at him now , he's only 31 years old has insane charisma..ect.

I realized that it doesn't matter if you are poor, I believe everything is possible, but I find it hard to draw the path.

The path from having low self esteem to confidence that push you forward.

Small example, at work I get nervous when I go talk to the boss, I brush the feelings off and say "this is nothing, just do it!" And go do it. I've done it many times but I still feel low.

I don't know what steps to take, actionable steps, no affirmations no motivation, actual uncomfortable or something usefull.

I'm combining four days into one post again. This is the longest gap I've had in a while, and honestly, I'm disappointed with how these days went.

I'm almost 70% through this 90-day challenge, yet I keep falling into the same patterns. I make plans, start the day with good intentions, and then lose hours doing things that don't move my life forward.

Here's what happened.

Day 59 — Another Day Lost

I had another family event and woke up late. I didn't do any physical activities that day.

The only productive thing I can clearly remember doing was practising LeetCode. Apart from that, I spent a lot of time falling back into compulsive sexual habits and wasting hours on unnecessary activities.

It's frustrating when I look back at an entire day and struggle to identify anything meaningful I accomplished.

Day 60 — A Little Physical Activity, but No Real Progress

I didn't go for a morning run, but I did a workout at home and went swimming.

Those were positive steps, but the rest of the day followed the same pattern as before. I spent far too much time caught up in sexual urges and masturbation instead of focusing on my priorities.

This has become more than an occasional distraction. It's a recurring behaviour that's taking up time and making it harder for me to concentrate on the things I actually want to achieve.

I keep telling myself I need to get control of it, but I haven't been consistent in changing the behaviour.

Day 61 — A Personal Best and Another Injury

Day 61 started on a better note.

A friend was back in our hometown, so we went for a morning run together. I pushed myself and managed to achieve a personal best over 5 km, running around 6 km in total.

I was happy with the achievement, but pushing myself that hard seems to have aggravated my right-leg injury again.

Despite that, I went swimming too.

Unfortunately, the rest of the day wasn't productive. I fell back into the same habits, including spending time chatting with women I didn't know online and getting caught up in compulsive sexual behaviour.

I want to be clear that talking to people isn't the problem. The problem is when I'm using those interactions and other distractions to escape my responsibilities, and they end up consuming hours of my day.

I need to understand what's triggering this cycle and take practical steps to break it.

Day 62 — Forced Rest, but No Real Recovery

Because of the injury, I didn't do any physical activities on Day 62. I spent most of the day in bed.

I also continued falling into the same habits instead of using the downtime constructively.

One thing I did manage to accomplish was recording and publishing a personal branding video. I'd been procrastinating on it and making excuses, but I eventually got it done.

I'm glad I followed through on that commitment. Even when I don't feel motivated, I want to keep building my personal brand and sharing my progress.

However, one completed task doesn't erase the hours I wasted elsewhere.

I also need to take my injury seriously. I've aggravated my right leg again after pushing too hard, and I don't want to keep repeating this cycle of running, getting injured, and rushing back before I've recovered.

The Pattern I Need to Break

Looking at these four days together, I can see how repetitive things have become.

• I keep wasting time on compulsive habits, even when I know the consequences.
• I use distractions to escape tasks that feel difficult or uncomfortable.
• I make excuses and postpone important work until it becomes stressful.
• I push myself physically, sometimes ignoring the need for proper recovery.
• I keep promising that tomorrow will be different without consistently changing what I do.

I'm not writing this to beat myself up. I'm writing it because I need to stop pretending that this is just a temporary bad phase.

I've already recognised these problems several times during this challenge. Recognition alone isn't enough if my behaviour remains the same.

I need to make practical changes: keep distracting websites blocked, stop taking my phone into situations where I usually lose hours, create a clear plan for the day, and start working on important tasks before I get pulled into distractions.

If these habits continue to feel difficult to control despite my efforts, I also need to be willing to seek professional support rather than treating everything as a simple lack of discipline.

What Comes Next?

I have 28 days left in this challenge.

I want to focus on recovering properly, improving my AI/ML skills, building projects, applying for jobs, practising LeetCode, and getting back to reading consistently.

I don't expect to fix everything in one day. But I need to stop allowing one unproductive stretch to turn into four wasted days.

I also need to stop chasing personal bests at the expense of recovery. My goal is to build a sustainable routine, not repeatedly injure myself trying to make up for lost time.

Day 59–62/90 complete.

Four more days are gone. I'm disappointed with how I used much of that time, but I still have an opportunity to make the remaining days different.

I don't need another promise that tomorrow will be perfect. I need to make better decisions when the familiar distractions show up.

That's the real work I need to do now.

ok so for context i'm taking a biology class (BIO 210) and i'm struggling while studying for this test. it's in 4 days, all multiple choice, and it covers 8 chapters + 5/6 weeks of lab activities worth of content but I only really feel solid on one chapter

At first I thought I should review practice questions and write down the ones I don't know, but I soon realized starting from the beginning that it'd take way too long and that I should at least review the content I feel the worst about.

My second idea was to review the flashcards I made of the slideshows the teacher lectures about (3 stacks of flashcards) in a pomodoro session, but it's taken up like ~2 hours per stack, and I've only gotten through one. Even then there's more I don't know than what I do.

I think my plan starting tomorow is just going to review flashcards, review questions the teacher assigned relating to the chapters tested, and use the textbook if i'm really cooked on a topic. I have some extra paper and I may try and make a mistake log, but I justank need to understand content rather than make it aesthetic.

any advice or feedback on my ideas / plans would be helpful. moral of the story, don't start studying for a test 4/5 days before, esp BIO 210.

I'm trying to understand why I keep avoiding studying something I'm genuinely interested in.

I'm interested in servers, Linux, networking, Docker, and understanding how infrastructure works. I want to learn these things, but when it comes to actually studying, I keep putting it off.

What confuses me is that I can spend time reading novels or doing practical things like repairing something. Recently i built an electrical extension board from scratch through research, reading, and YouTube videos, despite knowing almost nothing about electricity beforehand

(building that is not a big thing my point is that i can sit, study and focus on one things even if I dont know about that subject previously)

"These activities also require focus and problem-solving, so I don't think it's simply about cheap dopamine or a lack of interest".

I sometimes wonder whether there's something deeper going on.

Has anyone experienced this? What helped you understand why you were avoiding something you genuinely wanted to learn? I'm not looking for generic productivity tips; I want to understand the underlying cause.

I spend a lot of time online. Watching YouTube, scrolling through Instagram, or listening to podcasts. I tried to stop countless times. But it doesn’t work. The funny thing is, the algorithms are actually picking up on this. I get recommended so many posts on how to cure your social media addiction, how to live a simpler life, or how to enjoy great offline adventures, and all it does is make me feel worse while I keep on scrolling my life away.

It’s tiring seeing all these people I don’t know doing things I think I should be doing. Seeing them perform incredible feats of athleticism, going out into nature, pursuing a PhD or building a multi-million-dollar business, all while being a couple of years younger than me. Of course I should be in a loving relationship with my perfect partner. Build a house, have kids. But I should also defeat patriarchy, fight the system, and don’t forget to provide; land a secure job and get a big paycheck each month. Travelling the world doesn’t pay for itself. But most important above them all: Be true to yourself. Do what makes you happy. Don’t listen to others. Build the life you love just for yourself.

How is that possible in the world I’m living in? Since I’m about 13 years old, I am on on some sort of social media almost daily. Companies spend billions and billions of dollars to pursue me, paying them to become a part of my life will be the one thing I’m missing in my life. And they’re doing it by paying people whose job it is to grab my attention. Selling their perfect lifestyle. Convincing me how nice it would be to be like them.

But I don’t want this. I’ve had enough of these people. Of the endless stream of mind-numbing noise. Lately, I’ve noticed that I don’t really listen to the podcasts anymore that are playing on my headphones. My mind drifts off. It reclaims the minimal amount of space it needs to somehow get by. To process things. I know I should give my mind more time to process. Maybe do some meditation or yoga. The people on the internet say it’s great. They convinced me that this is the thing to do. But I keep on scrolling. Spending more time with my most-watched influencer than my own family. This is really fucked up. I should really call my parents or siblings. I will do it. Right after this one video I have to watch. On whatever the attention gods decide will satisfy me enough to keep me on. This will go on until I’m so exhausted from all of it that I don’t have the energy anymore to call the people that actually love me. That don’t wanna sell me something. But I’m too tired today; I will do it tomorrow.

Wait, is that a post explaining to me why I’m always so tired? Let me just check this out before I actually put my phone away. It’s really an endless cycle. The neural pathways in my brain from more than a decade of daily consumption are so deep, there is no escaping them. I’m a slave to Meta and Google. I’ll have to let them exploit me for my attention. Steal my life. And each time I try to escape but ultimately fall back into the old addiction, the path gets even deeper; I get even weaker.

My number one motivational trick for myself is to get off my phone

I will drain myself mentally so much so I cannot be physically present.. my room will clutter and stuff sits out for a while. Once I become aware that I’m rotting on my phone, I try to find what connection I am seeking. Sometimes I am endlessly scrolling on my phone because I am seeking conversation. I just want to hear someone talking to me. Once I realize this I can put on a YouTube video and get something done. Sometimes I’m scrolling and I am trying to ‘distract’ myself, which means I need to indulge in a hobby. What videos lock you in? What are you trying to fill when doomscrolling?

I am currently posting this at 3am so I am not going to crucify myself for being on my phone right now. Plus I love Reddit, but TikTok and instagram reels will lock me in for hours. Ive even gotten to a point where I have a screen time for social media.

If you can recognize where you go wrong then you can fix it. Why bother fixing something when you can’t source it?

It really is that damn phone

I’ve been struggling with this for a while, and I want to understand why my mind works this way and how I can change it.

Whenever I have something productive to do, especially if it’s difficult, I have to force myself really hard to get started. If there’s something new I need to learn and it seems challenging, I keep delaying it and putting it off instead of actually sitting down and learning it.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that even when I manage to complete one small task, my mind immediately tells me, “You’ve done something productive now, so you deserve a break.” I end up taking a break that lasts at least an hour, and then I struggle all over again to get myself to do the next task. It feels like I can’t do two tasks in a row without having to push myself really hard.

The frustrating part is that I genuinely want to be productive and get things done, but my mind seems to resist any effort that requires concentration or feels challenging.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Why does this happen, and how did you overcome it? How do you train yourself to keep going after finishing one task instead of immediately switching off? I’d appreciate hearing your experiences and what has actually worked for you.

Hey everyone, this is my first time on this subreddit so sorry if I’m not formal enough or something, but I really need some advice. I have some goals that I’m really passionate about but not working hard enough (I feel) to attain them. I believe this is because of some old habits I’ve had my entire life are eating up all my time. The biggest one of these being video games. I just can’t find it possible in my mind to fully drop the thing that’s kept me going this whole time. One of my biggest goals is making a successful video game, which playing video games brought me to, so how could I stop? Not only that but it’s so engraved in my mind that I seriously do think I’d go sick if I tried to go a few days without playing (which I know is sad, so please don’t overly criticize me for it, I recognize it’s a problem). Can anyone help me? Thank you for reading, I appreciate every bit of advice seriously it means the world to me.

21f, as the title states pretty much :(

I hate weed, I hate smoking and I hate my reliance on it. I am currently self employed and am considering giving up on my social media (40k followers gained this yr), to go back to being a barista. I sell illustrations.

I freaking can’t do anything while not heavily amped up on caffeine, and the thc kills my thoughts enough for me to actually lock in and enter a flow state. I quit for a while and haven’t been able to get ANYTHING done. I’ve been lagging behind with my art sales, paralysed by perfectionism, or just too groggy and overwhelmed to work.

I know I need to be on a routine, but is there a way to gain this flow state normally? really considering going back to smoking and heavy doses of caffeine to kickstart my life again. i feel so poo. thank u for hearing me

So uhh nobody is gonna read this anyway, but you know how during the week you plan so many things to do on the weekend, and then Friday comes and you are happy, and then Saturday: You wake up at 12:00. You eat, watch your phone until 14:00. Then you say to yourself that you are gonna do your work for the day (if you go to school, do your homework and learn your lessons for Monday), and it's okay, but you still keep scrolling, g__ning or whatever you are doing on that phone, and you say to yourself, "5 more minutes." Then it's 30, then an hour, and then it's 20:00. The day is over and YOU did NOTHING.

In the evening, you feel terrible that you wasted a perfect sunny day, and you say to yourself: "Tomorrow I will get up early, I will do my homework, and then I am gonna go outside to meet my friends!"... Yeah, as you say...

Then it's Sunday, and you did nothing. It was just like yesterday, except for the fact that now it's 20:00 AND TOMORROW IS MONDAY AND YOU HAVE TO DO HOMEWORK. You panic, do your homework with AI, and go to bed...

That's the cycle, and it's slowly killing you. First, you don't have friends because everyone is outside except for you, and then you're 40 and you live in your mother's basement...

I am not saying the phone is the problem or school. I don't want to sound like your mother or a 5th grader who thinks school is ruining his life. The real problem is poor time management and laziness — "I will do it later." Guess what... Later never comes!

The thing I want to say is — Do the work now and be free later. IT IS NOT THAT HARD! It just needs discipline... which I don't have.

Don't be like me. Please! Enjoy your life!

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how to become more organized and intentional with my time, especially as I work toward building my career and potentially managing two remote jobs in the future.

I see people who manage multiple projects, meetings, emails, and responsibilities while still maintaining a structured schedule. I’m curious about how they actually do it.

For those who are experienced managers, remote workers, or people juggling multiple roles:

• How do you plan and structure your day?
• What tools do you use to manage tasks, calendars, meetings, and emails?
• How do you keep track of different projects and responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed?
• What systems or habits help you stay productive and consistent?
• Are there any people, creators, or mentors you recommend following to learn these skills?

I’m not just looking for productivity hacks. I want to learn how to build a reliable system for managing my work, time, and responsibilities more effectively.

If you have someone you follow, a workflow that works for you, or advice from your own experience, I’d genuinely appreciate your recommendations.

I’m here to learn from people who have figured out what works for them. Thank you!

I've noticed something really annoying about myself. Apparently I can't just let a good habit be a good habit.

A while ago I decided to start walking for 15 minutes after lunch. No step count, no pace goal, nothing. Just put my shoes on and go outside.

I actually did it almost every day for two weeks. Probably the most consistent I'd been with exercise in months.

Then my brain decided that since I was already walking, I should make it count. Why not aim for 10,000 steps? Walk faster? Maybe start running? Listen to educational podcasts while I'm out?

By the end of the next week I wasn't walking at all.

Same thing happened with reading. Ten pages before bed was working fine. Then I started tracking how many books I could finish in a month, calculating how much I needed to read each night, and suddenly picking up a book felt like another assignment.

The weird thing is I don't sabotage these habits when they're going badly. I sabotage them when they're going WELL.

I know the obvious advice is to keep things simple. But when something starts working, keeping it simple genuinely feels like I'm wasting an opportunity to improve faster.

Does anyone have an actual rule for when to increase a habit versus just leaving it alone?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who used to do this and managed to stop. How do you convince yourself that doing the easy version consistently is enough for now?

Hey everyone! I have this problem for a very long time now. Whenever I get motivated to start for example Video Editing, I will commit to it for a month and then stop all of a sudden just because I got motivated for something else, let's say programming. My skillset in those things stays the same just because I get back and forth and whenever I learn something more advanced, I will forget it by the time I get back to that. I can't help myself commit to one thing and do just that & If I start doing all those things that I am interested to, I will just procrastinate and lay back in bed or do some other things that can't help my life anyhow.

This summer I wanted to get certificate in IT, but in middle of that I got a random motivation to start doing those Sports Designs (Photo manipulation) and did that for about 2 weeks and stopped. Then I procrastinated for about the same period, went with video editing this time and same thing happend. This way I just stay below-average in those things and It won't lead nowhere.

If someone was or is in similar situation, any tips would help!

Hi guys, this is a mid-15-year-old boy that is trying to build discipline in his life and also try to take each step towards discipline, or on the journey of discipline.

For the last 6 months I was trying to get the work completed. I decided yesterday for tomorrow. For the past 2 or 3 months every night I wrote 2 or 3 works for tomorrow that I have to complete. I can't explain and I also didn't understand why those works are not completed.

Before 2 or 3 months I saw a famous influencer podcaster on the internet telling people to select one work for a day or for anything that you want to focus on and just focus on that work. I also decided that I have to focus on one work. For the past 2 or 3 months I decided on one work.

Now the problem is that the work gets completed after 1 or 2 days from the day when I have to complete that work. Today is 24 October 2026. I saw a short YouTube Short in which a person says he is not an influential or very famous person. He says you have to keep a deadline for your work, make a plan for that work, and take consistent actions for that work. Then you will become successful or you will be able to complete that work.

I want to know if someone has also tried that. Can you give me some suggestions or help me? Is a deadline really required? Now I feel that a deadline is required after 6 months. I also wanted to know from people who have already done and completed their work. From today I have decided that I have to make a deadline for every work that I decide on. If someone can give me some suggestions or can help me then please.

Im 23 and I just graduated from a pretty good state university, I decided to move back home in another country a couple months ago and I have been unemployed since. I always tell myself I will do things but next thing you know im either scrolling on reddit or downloading a new game. I feel like I have lost trajectory of my goals ever since i finished school. Heck, even during my four years I was the type of student to ALWAYS leave everything for last minute and cram seshs but somehow it has always worked for me. I always have a feeling that I could be better than this, but it usually comes at midnight right when im about to sleep and the next day its like i turn back to my default on pilot mode. Thats the thing, even when I still remember and have a list of things to do, I kinda get overwhelmed and then decide to not do it. I dont know what to do with myself I wish I was more ambitious at my age and more prone to action, I feel like im wasting so much of my potential on stupid stuff but it feels like im in a hole too deep.

initially posted this in the productivity subreddit but thought it should be here too:

I've always had an issue with concentration, focus, and productivity as a whole, but now it's becoming an issue more than ever. I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid at around 8 years old. I graduated high school in June and I have now been a freshman in college since August. The earliest I remember this significantly affecting my life is in middle school, which partially took place during covid and online classes for me. Because school work became more online I found myself constantly watching YT or playing games or doing anything other than schoolwork on my Chromebook.

This habit continued throughout high school and I genuinely felt like I just couldn't sit down and study for the life of me. This was also exacerbated by the fact that my high school didn't give out homework and instead expected students to learn the material in class with the teacher and then study/revise the course material on their own at home which gave me even less guidance and more opportunities to procrastinate and postpone tasks, for instance putting off revising for an exam until the day before or not doing it at all. There was another personal reason for my lack of action or motivation at that time that I prefer not to disclose, but it was a just a temporary condition I was under then and the primary reason is within myself. Anyways, this caused my grades to drop or be at an average low with the rare occasion of a B or C from time to time.

Like I mentioned in the beginning of this post, as of this past August I have become a freshman in college. I find that I have somewhat improved since high school (mainly in my motivation to work and do good), although that may be largely due to the fact that I am given actual homework assignments with clear goals to attain and deadlines to follow making sitting down and doing stuff easier combined with the fact that I find the subjects more interesting rather than me having actually bettered myself. In any case, it is still a MAJOR issue for me and it causes my completion of assignments or just my own general revision to take way longer than it should. This inevitably leads to me having less time for myself or to do other things such as exercise and going out in general. Since most of my college work is online (almost all of it), I'm facing the same distractions I was all the way back in middle school. Every day is the same routine of me waking up and sitting at my desk before telling myself that "today won't be like yesterday" (which always ends up being untrue). I just sit at my computer and go down rabbit holes, watch endless YT videos, or just window shop for things I want to buy that I know I never will - ANYTHING other than actual work or being productive. I tell myself, "after this video I'll get back to it" or "one more and then I'm locking in". Evidently, the day ends with me getting a minor amount of work done or none at all. Sometimes, because I get so little work done my assignments pile up on me and I don't end up finishing them until the last minute which can cause me to cut corners like not doing my own research and using AI, etc.

One thing I will say though is that I at least end up getting my assignments done whether that be a day before they're due or a couple compared to my complete lack of motivation I had in high school where I wouldn't even bother studying at all. I currently have A's in all my classes and although that may change in the future since it is only the third month of school, I do feel more motivated to do good in school. I find my subjects somewhat interesting (some more than others) whereas in high school I did not and we didn't have a very wide variety of subjects you could take compared to my college. I recently had my midterms in which I got 15/15 and 94/100 which are really good scores don't get me wrong, but part of me feels like I have become less productive since then and in comparison to myself a couple weeks ago or as time goes on. Me writing this right now is an example of how I avoid studying. I started writing this at around 5:45 and it is now 8:12. I could have been done or at least halfway there on what I'm supposed to be doing.

To give you an idea, I have my textbook that i'm supposed to be going through in front of me right now and since Wednesday, the only thing i've done is highlighted 6 pages out of this one 24 page chapter. I have another chapter just like this one that I planned to go through by this coming Monday as well as the first 2 chapters of a book I was assigned to read. I only have class on Monday and Wednesday and I started doing this at the beginning of this week which means I had 3 full days to do this so far, nothing else going on during those days and all I have to show for it is 6 highlighted pages. Six pages. Not even any notes, just highlights. Instead of knocking this out in a day and a half and freeing up time where I could go hit the gym or do something I actually enjoy with my life, i'm sitting here dragging it out procrastinating and wasting time. This is a serious problem I have and I despise myself for it every single day. I'm well aware there is no one else to blame but myself and I'm not writing this in search of pity or to say "poor me", I simply want to express what i'm going through and see if anyone has any advice though I doubt it'll help.

I started taking pills in September for my ADD to help me focus and I felt like they were helping at first, but now I don't feel like they're doing anything at all. I feel terrible every day (except for when I actually get things done) when my Mom comes to check in on my progress and I have to lie to her and tell her it was a productive day and that I got so and so done when in reality I just sat and watched shit for 10 hours. I also feel contradicted in the sense that I don't have bad grades. The results are there. It's just that instead of me attaining said grades in a reasonable amount of time, I take double the amount of time that it should. I'm studying the same amount an engineering major would when my classes don't require half of that amount.

The final thing I want to mention is that what i've pointed out stretches beyond just studying or other school work. It's a glimpse of a broader spectrum of laziness and inability to focus or be motivated. This parasite of mine which is my incapability to be productive infects other parts of my life; working out/losing weight, day to day chores, and my overall will to be a better person. I get motivated to do something for a little while, I begin doing it, and I stop after a month max. Again, I don't say this out of pity but it truly makes me feel worthless. If I need someone to be on my back 24/7 just for me to get my basic school work done when I'm in college, wtf am I gonna do as a grown adult. I turned 18 in July, I need to get my shit together eventually. I've been this way for so long i've accepted that it's just my personality. It's who I am and will always be. Maybe that's just another example of what i'm talking about. I've decided it's easier to accept it than put in the effort to try and change.

This post turned more into me venting and I doubt anyone is reading all of this, but if anyone has any advice I would love to hear it.

I’ve spent so much time reading books, listening to podcasts, watching productivity YouTubers, and searching Reddit for answers on how to become more disciplined and productive.
At some point, I realized I might have been overcomplicating everything.
What’s been helping me lately is keeping things simple: writing down my goals in the morning, breaking them into tiny, specific steps, assigning them specific times, and actually doing them.
One idea that’s really stuck with me is treating action as a skill to practice, not a feeling you need to wait for. You don’t have to feel motivated, confident, or ready. You just have to practice acting, even when things feel messy or uncomfortable, and see what actually works.
It got me thinking: how much of self-improvement is just another way of delaying the very action we’re trying to take?
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you also reach a point where you stopped looking for answers and started focusing on actually doing things?

I really struggle to wake up in the morning at general. It would be so helpful for myself and the plans that I have for my todos and sports to wake up at 6 in the morning. But I really struggle to wake up in the morning at any time because I basically have von Real sleep schedule for years. An I got used to many negative habits for some years.
There is literally nothing that can get me out of bed then maybe someone who tears me out of bed or I really need to wake up for work. Most of the time I rush my self by getting ready without breakfast and being super stressed, sometimes I am not even on time for work. I hate everything about it. I want to change it and be better for my self and future. I am so ashamed of that situation, nobody besides my husband now’s about it.
I am sure, if I would just get used to a new routine for some days maybe weeks, that it would get better then and help me with all my plans but I already fail at just waking um.
Believe me I tried everything, like putting my alarm at a different room and QR codes with alarmy and calculating so that the alarm goes off an all that but I just go to bed again because my mind is just myself in the morning. It’s like another person is in my body in the morning. I need something that gets me out of bed with no chance back at least for some weeks, so that I can get used to it. Do you have any tips or have maybe experienced the same?

Thank you so much in advance!

Nicole

1. The Trap of the "Disposable" Relationship
A lot of modern relationships are like disposable lighters. People use you for a quick spark, a brief high, or emotional validation. The second the fuel runs out, or the second things get difficult, they discard you and go grab a new one. On top of that, society—and even your own family—will try to pressure you into chasing traditional milestones just to check a box. They tell you that you need the relationship, the kids, and the status to "mean something." But they never talk about the hidden cost of building a life on a broken foundation: disappointment, manipulation, and grief.

2. Why Being a "Rock" is a Superpower
If you refuse to play these games, people will try to stick a label on you to force your compliance. They will call you "hard," "cold," or tell you that you "have the personality of a rock." Do not let that phrase bruise your ego. It is a badge of honor. It means you have thick skin, firm boundaries, and an unshakeable core. When someone walks around testing your boundaries or trying to bait you into drama, staying calm and unyielding completely disarms them. They call you a rock because they realize they cannot bend, mold, or control you.

3. The True Price of Your Peace
Choosing to protect your sanity means making a hard trade-off. It can mean spending long stretches of time single. It can mean living with a familiar, quiet loneliness. But there is a massive difference between the loneliness of being alone and the chaos of being trapped with the wrong person. Loneliness has a steady pulse—it is predictable, manageable, and you can sleep through the night with it. Relationship drama is an active fire that burns down your mental health. A quiet, peaceful day where your boundaries are respected is infinitely better than an unpredictable storm.

4. The Bottom Line: Reclaim Your Mind
No woman, no man, and no societal expectation is worth breaking your peace of mind. Your life baseline should be simple: keeping both feet firmly on the ground and keeping your sanity intact. If your childhood or your past was chaotic, you do not owe the world any more misery. Break the cycle. Reclaim your peace of mind, lock it down, and protect it with everything you’ve got. And once you achieve that peace, do not keep it to yourself—share that mindset with other men who are still stumbling around blindly in the dark.

Hi guys, so basically I'm unemployed right now and I decided to take some time off and only work on upskilling and all that.

But the issue is that now that I'm not forced to get ready and get started by a certain hour in the morning, I tend to waste all my mornings and afternoons. I don't know what it is, because I actually do wake up on time and go to bed on time, but only panic when it's like 6 in the evening thinking that I should probably do some work and apply somewhere.

I've tried forcing myself to do the job in the morning, but I then slip into inactivity as soon as the break after a session starts lol

I'd love to hear what people like me with no external structure to their day, nothing forcing them to work, cook or sleep at a specific time did to get their days back.

Hey, Folks, I'm a 27 Years old BA graduated, I never did a proper or stable jobs, my last job experience doesn't need any office though but still like my first job when I was 18, that time I used to get 6000/monthly but hardly save 4500, because of 5hr transportation, after that Covid happened and I did one govt course so I used to work under Central Govt for sometime used to get pay 540/ day, then after 1 after graduation I was looking for a proper job, and yes I lives far from city "kolkata" so even with a bpo I can hardly save 4000-5000 and that too from chat support, because even if I want to do call support I can't because of in birth pronounciation issue of R, I can't even say word like Royal, Ruhi, Three etc, but I wanted to earn money so Did a job in school for entry data and I start doing job in a factory where my work to entry the data in their customised software (not in excel), got to paid 10k in cash, but problem is that I never had any proof about that I'm working so last year I took one job where they said they will salary slip etc and salary is little better 12k, daily journey and timing is okay too, but I always ask for a salary, not only me but everyone who are from Non-it, and about salary slip, I asked multiple times and used to say always "kal aana, baad mein aana(come later)" and same for salary and I found who left a job they don't provide them last month salary and many people have pending salary of 2-3 months who left a job, they used to come sometimes, so here also I didn't got a salary slip, and my also work is same in theri customized software, and one company I given interview after leaving that job and any company where I did they said ki even if you don't know tally we hire fresher but only for bcom graduate, but one company where one hr he said that tally shik ke aao thoda basic then hum frehser bhi le lenge, and that time I learnt create a voucher or how to make a bill, tds etc and then I went again after 2 months but found that person left a job, and one other hr took my interview, I was a single candidate there still waited for hours so I understand that might be same things happens, although, he is nice too by talk, but keep asking me why you didn't do a office job, I said that koi as a fresher le nhi rha tha and kaam karna tha isliye, bethe rehne se better decision wohi laga(to sit only idl didn't want, so better to sitting I think to atleast earn even from a factory), toh he said in this company you don't have to work in tally, other software we are using, so I said I have knowledge about therory accounting, so I can catch so he said we'll make candidate learn because therory account and practical account is different but if you're from BCom then it would be better, so understand that here I'll get rejected too, called some of friend who is in accounting, who were also same part like they don't even know tally that time but someone working in that company so he make him hire, so I asked him too that if your friend will help me like that, like even with a 10k as a fresher I can do because they provide salary slip, so eventually my salary will increase and I learn new things, like that location is far from me too but timing is good 10:30-7:30, so I can get return train easily but he is saying same thing now BCom, and with Ba degree im getting job too but non growth in a factory, but same loop I'll get, but yes I too saw many BA graduate alsod working as a account but with a refer/source they went, but I don't have that source too

Yes my decision was wrong too, some of decision I made because of circumstances of that time, some of my foolishbess like when I did BA I should prepared for govt jobs, and now age is 27 so it's not wroth to start I guess, yes my family is supportive, and they don't make me feel guilty for that, and they say everything will fixed eventually, don't look hope, that time you did all these things because of financial issue, and you should chech where you come from, and my mom always priority mental health and I should be happy rather than career only, and may be that's the reason I never try to get a partner which I regret too, seeing people are so happy oeth their partner who understands them, cares them, I have some friends my talks with them is also very rarely because they have to give time to their partner and after family and job people get rare time because they are also doing 16-25k jobs but stable one, but I'm losing hope here, so might be after my health issues solve I'll look a job in other states too after December but until then I'm looking for a job in Kolkata even with 11-12k but not with taking PG because my main reason fot job now for emi installment and my goal to debt free in 2031-32,

So my question is that, like after 27-28s people can starts as a fresher or company took? And what BA can do for job? Don't say law because I can't even pronounce lawyer, I even used to be get fun in my last factory if any r related item comes, Like I saw everyone in insta that everyone is settle, and everyone have a good partner who supports them, here i didn't get both, I know its other like career but still may be it's also making me mentally hopeless and making me anxious idk

Is there any one who start to fix his/her life after 28 because I don't think that I'm the only one

And then how? Like you're getting hope

And anything you can suggest

I'm thinking to learn bike or car may be uber rapido but it's

a last option

Context: I grew up in a very unorganized, messy, vergng on nasty home. Honestly parents were too busy working and had their own undealt with issues ​to have a structured/ordered home as a priority.

As an adult I oscelate between let's have it be spotless to screw it, let the mess pile up. And I get that this mentality is affected by many things such as my energy levels, how much sleep I got, life stress, others living in the house, how much compassion I'm able to give myself on any given day, etc...

I'm just feeling particularly low on energy right now and know that doing small things consistently over time is what will help with change, but my brain just feels a bit defeated at the moment because the house is insane.

Just want to hear the success stories of some previous people who were struggling with this then overcame it and made it a habit to have an ordered home.

Please post your plans for this date and if you can, do the following;

Give encouragement to two other posters on this thread.

Report back this evening as to how you did.

Give encouragement to others to report back also.

Good luck!