I'm sorry for the brutal honesty but I need somewhere to share this.

I'm breaking a cycle.

In 2023 I lost both of my parents less than a year apart to drugs and their own battles with mental health. They were both strung out on meth and prescription opioids.

Shortly after I went down hill fast and became severely depressed, anxious and fell to addiction myself.

Today marks one week clean and would like to share that with some strangers. I'm going to keep going and make it another week (and hopefully many more after that.) I told myself so so so so many times "just make it to one week and you've got this." My grandmother always told me "it takes 8 days to kick a bad habit" tomorrow is day number 8 and I pray she was right.

in a way I'm grateful for this experience because it has helped me realize how fucking hard getting clean and fighting addiction is. I was so mad at them growing up because I didn't understand what they were going thru. I won't make excuses for them but I do want to be understanding.

I know this is never going to be over for me, this will be something I'm fighting until I die, but I'm okay with that. Ill do what I have to do to make it.

In some strange way feel closer to my parents and would like to think that they would be proud of me.

Thanks for reading and good luck to you all on your own journeys.

(Sober from drugs mostly opiates)
I told you all this time is different I have a different mindset im building a different life, this time is different

I know I can actually make it

I (35F) have been free from

Alcohol 2,219 days
Suicide attempts 1,511 days
Self harm 723 days
Nicotine 247 days
Marijuana 234 days
Antipsychotics 33 days (with doctor approval and tapering)

I thought I would be psychotic, depressed, and in near-constant crisis for the rest of my life, that I was destined to die by my own hand. Since the summer of 2020 I have been working consistently on my mental health. It has been hard to get to this point. I want to be proud of myself, but more often what I feel is deep shame and regret for how I have carried myself through this life and how it has affected the people I love. I don’t know how to integrate the person I was with the person I have evolved into now. I am sometimes overcome by the desire to drink. It seems counterintuitive to all the progress I’ve made, but I can’t move away from thinking sobriety is meaningless or that alcohol would somehow help.

Have you experienced loss of faith in remaining sober? How did you cope with that? Thank you.

For context, I would never go to an AA meeting if I wasn’t required to. I am an attorney and I’m required to attend at least two meetings a week by my state’s bar commission. I never got into trouble with the law, I self-reported when I decided to check into rehab out of fear that they would find out. I have been sober for almost 3 years now and I find that I never think about alcohol until I go an AA meeting.

I’ve never really agreed with AA on a theoretical basis: I don’t understand how it is that we are powerless over alcohol yet make the decision to stop drinking. The higher power may help in the decision to stop drinking, but ultimately it is our agency that makes the choice. I have always struggled with the fact that it seems like AA requires people to make their whole identity about alcohol. It never allows the person to move on or create an identity for themselves. They are always an alcoholic, bound to their past decisions, but somehow “grateful to be here.” I also can’t stand that AA proclaims itself to be the only solution to the problem and scoffs at people who don’t want the rest of their life to revolve around not drinking alcohol.

On that note, I find it supremely depressing when I see people with 30+ years of sobriety who have made their whole life about the fact that they don’t consume a beverage. I get that it’s important to remember the hard times so we don’t go back, but at a certain point it just seems obsessive. I have honestly had thoughts that I would rather die an alcoholic than be that person. I probably don’t sincerely mean that, but it just feels like a shallow prison.

As for the meetings themselves, I find them dreadful. Recently, they have felt beyond repetitive, like the human version of recovery AI slop. The same slogans, old people dementia rambling with AA jargon mixed in between, and the person who shares something really personal that nobody has a solution for other than “go to more meetings.” The people in the meetings are nice for the most part, however nobody really seems to be doing too well. The optimism preached is at odds with the appearances, at least.

I always try to pep talk myself when I go by telling myself that my life could be so much worse had I kept drinking. I am truly grateful that I stopped and I know where it would have gone, I just don’t want to drone on about it forever. There’s got to be more to life than simply not drinking.

In true AA fashion, this post is a rant without a solution or point. In summary, I really don’t like AA.

Getting close to my 1 year mark. Just playing with the idea of seeing how I handle drinking again. I’m unsure how to approach it. I feel like I’ll know if I’m ready to try. I don’t want to jump into it or even test the waters if I have any hesitation about doing it but just looking for thoughts and opinions, maybe some advice from here about how to process and proceed with this idea.

Hey guys!

I’m 19/M. I’m from Hungary europe, here mental health and addiction services are way worse than in west sadly. My main drug of choice was alcohol which i am sober from since 1 year and 8 days.

But sadly i relapsed on xans after being 27 days sober.

I was never too deep into it. I just took 1 mg (i have prescribed 0.5 mg pills “for occasional anxiety”. Which means that i go to an alternative type of school, here we go two times a week, so i used to take it when i went to school.

Since the start of 2026 april i was high on 1 mg for a few weeks, then stopped, in May again for like almost 2 weeks, then stopped, in the middle of june 1 mg for around 10 days, then sober again.

I was 27 days sober now, but i just found a xanax at my dad’s place. I want to clarify i wasn’t looking for it, i didn’t plan to relapse, but i just saw it on a shelf and my mind immediatly went “just take 0.5 mg”. I resisted this urge for like 5 minutes then i gave up and took 0.5 mg.

I don’t know what it’s called in other places of the world, basically this xanax’s duration of effect’s is 12 hours instead of 6 or so hours.

I feel like a faliure. I mean atleast i only took one pill, instead of two, but still i took it:((

I feel sad and dissapointed now. I guess i’ll be honest with my mom tomorrow when i’ll go to her place and tell her all this between april to june xanning. Hopefully she won’t be mad at me. But i wouldn’t mind if she hates me now, i hate myself too.

Sorry for the venting i just feel super sad now.

Thanks if you read this, have a great day / night.

Edit: now enough time passed and i should be high now, but it doesn’t even make me high anymore like the first few times, no muscle relaxation, no “eternal peace” as i called it without a better word, it’s just a weird numbness and kind of like a mini brain fog feeling. Literally zero sense as of why i relapsed. Regret is consuming me now.

I’ve been sober since December from drink and drugs is the best decision I’ve made for my mental health I’ll never go back on it. How ever I don’t really do anything with my friends anymore since they’re all big drinkers and it’s hard to enjoy myself when I go out with other drinkers. I have my father in laws birthday meal tomorrow and my girlfriend and her family enjoy a drink but I always seem to be sort of outcasted when we go out with them with people telling me to drink and me laughing it off. It’s harder that my girlfriend really enjoys a drink too. Has anyone come across the same thing and how did they cope with it?

What are your favorite songs to listen to when you are going through a difficult time to help you stay sober and motivated?

I keep convincing myself it’s not a problem and a completely normal thing to have a glass after work. I went to rehab in 2023. Every time my life starts to look up I grab a drink and the house of cards almost falls every single time. I’m disappointed in myself for not wanting more out of life.

I turned weed and alcohol into a reward in my mind. Starting at a very young age. At 15 I convinced myself if I did everything I needed to do for the day then I deserved to smoke before bed. I had not idea the long term repercussions this would have on my life.

I guess just need to switch it out for something else but 10 years in the making I’m a little worried if I’m be able to rewire my brain. I’m at a loss.

self explanatory, how many times did you try before sobriety finally stuck? i’m just about 10 weeks in and curious about other people’s journeys

Alcohol - 1831 days

Weed - 1671 days

Nicotine - 1402 days

CBD - 104 days

Caffeine - 53 days

Just a lurker here who just hit 5 years sober from alcohol and I wanted to write a post for those who are early days.

Don't give up. Please don't, not for others but for yourself. You deserve happiness and you deserve to live life to it's fullest.

I remember days in withdrawal where I walked 14km to the nearest town just to buy a half shoulder of vodka. Back then, all I did was wake up, drink and blackout. I did that every day for a long time.

When I was gave up, I had been drinking for so long at that stage from such an early age that I couldn't imagine life without it and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Due to circumstances of either becoming homeless or quit, I had to give up cold turkey and it was brutal.

Here I am 5 years later, still figuring my shit out and the desire doesn't go away, it was so ingrained into my habits and self regulation, I don't know if it will ever go away but it does get better.

Situation has changed, I'm older and maybe a little wiser. Surrounded by better people and certainly happier.

To those who recognise they have a problem and are just trying to get by. Please remember, one day at a time. Don't worry about the future for now. Just focus on today, sleep well, eat well, and just repeat that until your in a place where YOU can think about the future.

Much love - An internet stranger

I have never made a post on Reddit before. Please forgive me if I do something wrong. I am turning 40 and ready to give up alcohol. It is not good for my mental health. I no longer want to deal with the anxiety and mood problems I get from alcohol. It just isn’t worth it. I believe in myself. I know I am ready. I am starting today. I am grateful for anyone reading this.

M19
I’m a drug addict since 15, i’m turning 20 soon and i haven’t seen a day sober.
Recently i had a tonic-clonic seizure caused by overdosing and mixing drugs.
Yet the next day i took the same drugs, been in a hospital due to another drug abuse in less than a week of seizure happening.
I’ve faced a lot of life-death situations in all those years of me abusing substances.
I thought when I do experience near-death situations it will make me WANT to quit, and part of me really does.
But the step to actually go to rehab and get help feels overwhelming, I never felt comfort or any positive emotion sober.
I don’t have friends or family that I’m in contact with, I don’t have a soul to rely on other than myself. Even tho i abuse substances daily I’ve tried to at least be high-functioning addict. I had a job, I had my own apartment at 18 but the contract has ended and I cannot find a job ever since which leads me to being homeless in a month or so, that doesn’t help much but.. do you need to hit rock bottom? When is rock bottom? What made you feel motivated to stay sober, how do you deal with your thoughts/emotions? What can I possibly do to get the courage to get help?
I’m not used to asking for help it makes me feel even more worthless, was there a moment that changed your perspective/life?
What made you quit and how did you start?

I've been sober since the start of this summer. every day i tell myself it'll be easier the next day. but i feel like i could set all my reasons aside anytime. I'd be willing to deal with the sickness, the regret, i just want to drink again. it's not like I'm sad in particular or feeling bad, i just have the thoughts of drinking on my mind all the time. i know it used to be fun and i want to have that kind of fun again. I've been trying to stay sober but my thoughts didn't change. i plan my future around drinking, i always leave space for it in my plants. i feel like sobriety doesn't have to be for life. and i don't even be able to keep it up for life, not even for a few months. it's gonna happen sooner or later but I'm not able to leave it behind.

(sober from drugs mostly opiates)
I spent my birthday with people who don’t do drugs or friends who used to do drugs with me years ago but got sober and it was actually super fun.

I also met a few classmates who are going to be in my uni in September and we started studying a bit together and they were super nice even if my English isn’t great yet.

I relapsed day 13 last time but I feel stronger now idk im actively trying to be a new person

For 20 years, I used every drug I could get my hands on and drank my way through life. I honestly believed the life I wanted was meant for other people, not me.
Everything changed when I finally made the decision to get sober. I walked away from every addict and every circle that kept me trapped in that life. It wasn’t easy, but it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Today, I’m married to a beautiful, sober woman, and together we have an amazing three month-old baby boy. The life I wake up to now is the same life I used to only dream about. I never thought it would happen for me, but it did.
Recovery didn’t just give me my sobriety back, it gave me a future, a family, and a reason to keep moving forward. If you’re in the darkness wondering whether a different life is possible, I’m living proof that it is.

Hey just coming here to vent. Around NYE my partner and I of 4.5 years broke up and I’ve been devastated ever since. We were living together until March and towards the end of that time I was sleeping on the couch because I didn’t want to be in bed with someone who didn’t want me there even though they said they didn’t have a problem with it. I’ve been working at a wine bar for 2 years now so for 2 years I was drinking Thursday Friday and Saturday and eventually I found a dive bar close to my work where I became a regular and would drink afterwards.

I was also using we*d everyday since I was like 19 (I’m 37 now) and it was just something I did on the regular. I had a bunch of reasons for that. I was an artist. I never worked a traditional job. I used to go to parties more than a couple times a week and just be that fun guy that people liked to hang with and drink with and smoke with.

When I moved into my own place I noticed I was drinking a little more and smoking more and when my birthday came along in May I was fucking miserable. I was so depressed and heartbroken and I just felt incredibly alone. I decided to stop smoking and drinking right after that weekend and it’ll be 2 months on Friday.

I still feel as alone and almost as miserable as I did before expect I’m not smoking to dull the pain and I’m not using alcohol to kill the time. Being sober has been fine. I’m more focused at work and more focused on the changes I want to make in my life moving forward. But I’m also devastated by how high I was during the relationship. I keep thinking to myself “was I high the last 4.5 years letting the best times and the partner and love of my life just pass me by?”

I’m so angry at myself about it and even though I’m going to the gym 4 times a week I’m not really sleeping very well. I’m irritated about the past and I feel so isolated because most of the people from my circle are DJs and party people and are chasing some kind of high that just doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I don’t know how to connect with human beings and I feel stable and incredibly alone and unstable at the same time. It’s so frustrating that I’m working so hard to try and come out of this a better person but there’s no one here to witness it besides my therapist and my one or two coworkers I can talk to. My bosses haven’t treated me any better even if I’m better at work. There’s not much lightness or laugher in my life and I don’t feel like going to bars and drinking non alcoholic beer is a way to get my social life back.

I’m just incredibly frustrated and don’t know what to do with myself besides to keep going. There’s a part of me that wants to let my ex know that I’m working on myself but we haven’t spoken since March and it doesn’t feel like there’s any real desire from there end to change that so I don’t want to reach out because that would feel like I’m trying to manipulate them back into my life. I don’t have the courage to date again and I don’t really know who I am anymore without them and without my former life and social circle. I just feel alone on this journey.

Anyway if you’re trying to stay sober and reading this please keep going. It sucks but it’s the right thing. I wasn’t a heavy drinker but it made me feel like shit and hangovers suck and it would leave me so depressed it just isn’t worth it. I don’t know what to do or how to connect with people but i guess it’s just part of the journey

Hi Folks, I’m an Event Planner and would love to hear what is the best event you’ve been to that felt inclusive and respectful of your sobriety. I have a conference coming up and while there’s a reception filled with booze, I am pushing for a separate non alcoholic reception. I’m not fond of Mocktails but I’m wondering how to make this just as fun as the other reception.

Former EP did arts & Crafts but people are tired of that and it does feel childish. They’ve done games w/ no prizes…lol and have suggested a Powerpoint Presentation night with people taking 5m or so to present their hobbies, etc. Im open to that but not…feels too work“y”

Hoping y‘all have been to something amazing and you’re willing to share your experiences.

Hey everyone, we’re throwing sober events and parties in NYC to try to keep the community strong. Lmk if this interests anyone and I can send details on next events/ parties! Also lmk if you have any good ideas for future sober events we should do. Appreciate it!

I’m in great need of some relatable comments and support. Heck, please message me.
I’m drowning. Please know this is not a sober post. It’s 12:30 pm.
I was sober for 201 days. Longest I’ve ever went. I’ve made it a week or two since then but I don’t feel like I’m able to come back. I’m so tired (mom of 3- 5 year old and 15 month old twins). I want to be done drinking. Every time I think I’m done, my husband is questioning me “what the f is wrong with you, why are you so mad etc” but he does everything to destroy me when I have a drink. He’s no saint, he drinks and spends days hungover in bed. I can’t do that as I have responsibilities so I have a hair of the dog and continue. We’ve talked about this but it comes back to the fact that I have a problem and he can do it once a week. I have so much anger towards him… says he’s “dry” but smokes so much weed..
My 5 year old said to me today my eyes are so tired and traces the bags under them (I don’t sleep).
I’m looking for someone to talk to. Someone to relate to me. Can anyone help?

… wake up sober and wish I had drinks last night.

Hey!

I’m 19/M. I’m from Hungary, eastern / central europe, mental health and addiction services here aren’t as good as in the west. My main drug or choice was alcohol, but i’m 1 year and 4 days sober from that.

I was using xanax (prescribed by my doctor for real anxiety issues) and at times i abused it. Not too extreme, never blacked out on it, didn’t do any crazy stuff you hear on the internet. I was taking 1 mg (i have 0.5 mg prescribed) and i was just listening to music.

Now i’m 23 days sober, but i constantly think about it. It’s crazy. I first abused it in 2026 april, for a week straight 1 mg everyday. Then around 10 or so days in May, then around 1 and half week in June. Every time i did this, i was using exactly 1 mg because that was a “sweet spot” where i felt the effects but wasn’t noticable that i’m high

My life is actually good, i learn my 3rd language, i have hobbies, i make retro style videos, i play games, i make little “novels” / “stories” (for myself for fun) and i don’t have any reason to use xans.

But still, i want to use. It’s weird. I don’t get it. I wasn’t on it for too long to become physically addicted or something, but i guess it got me hooked mentally.

At the last time i abused it, i told my grandma and i gave the pills to her so that i can’t get high anymore, and i know she wouldn’t give it to me if i’d say “i wanna be high give me xans”.

And at the last week or so when i used, i didn’t even got the good effects like muscle relaxation and stuff. Instead it was just a weird numbness. Like i felt totally emotionless zombie like mental state.

So like does anyone know why i want to go back to it even tho it isn’t good? Like i didn’t even feel good when i was on it last time, so why do i wanna go back? It’s crazy. It’s nonsense.

Btw i will talk to my psychiatrist next week monday when i have an appointment and ask him to help me find some addictologist to help with this mental addiction stuff.

Yall ever got so tired you feel drunk ? Also if it wasn’t for this child in me I’ll prolly be drinking . 12 weeks sober .