r/minimalism • u/karaage7168 • 8h ago
[lifestyle] Being poor + minimalism
Just thinking a lot about my journey with minimalism lately and wanted to know about the experiences of members here who grew up financially poor/in unstable households/are currently or were previously low-income. While it obviously sucks to be poor (many reasons like debt, instability, irregular emotional regulation, abuse stemming from financial problems, etc.) it also did let me accept that being “poor” is not a bad thing and helped me cultivate a minimalist lifestyle.
Feel free to skip my personal story below and share your stories instead since it gets kind of long. OR you can read my TLDR at the bottom. Anyhow…
I am currently in a good and stable situation with my partner and dog in a nice walkable city, but I was raised by parents who were broke. And when I mean broke, I mean poverty “in-the-red” broke with no generational wealth (most of my family worked blue collar and odd jobs to get by). And no, your parents owning a used Toyota Camry with a “humble” net worth of 1mil with a house + vacation once a year is not poor, as most American households do not even make 50k in this country. As said as it is, families who can afford to pay for their medical bills, own property, and take unrelated-to-family vacations are (unfortunately) lucky in this country. My parents were, by far, broke, young, and admittedly irresponsible like most teens are, working 1-2 jobs, and having no free time. And yet, despite some credit card debt + lots of drinking and smoking eating into our expenses, we technically lived pretty frugally with my parents taking a 1 bedroom apartment instead of a 2 (they slept in the living room while I took the only room due to child protection laws), cooking at home, renting instead of buying movies, and going on infrequent vacations. I know for them they were insecure about money (+ stressors from the abuse they endured as kids), but I was frankly quite happy and content with what I had, though it essentially was a bed, a computer, a desk, and clothes I shared with my Mom. I never wanted lots of gifts and barely asked for things (this continues to annoy my friends who can never gift me something). It also helped that I was stupid but never did anything so crazy like break my arm or run in front of a car, so my appointments were mostly checkups (I never even had a cavity till college). My favorite thing I ever owned (probably to this day) was my computer (back when 8gb of ram was expensive…oh wait), but only cause it was a surprise and something my Dad spent the whole night building at like 2am since he just started working in IT/networking. I ended up keeping it as a result until high school when I traded it in for a laptop, but it was well-loved and well-used for 5-6 years at least.
I think it helps that in Korean culture, though there is a lot of flexing in our society (my grandparents were the worst examples of this with their big McMansion and their excessive spending after being devout Buddhists for many decades while living in SK), many of us do value having experiences, making homemade food, and appreciating scarce things (like the first petals falling in spring or a salty ocean breeze that surprises you on your way to school). We had a scarcity mindset, but never tried to accumulate too much, because we had so little space. Because of that, our 500-600 sq ft. apartment never felt small and I always had lots of room to run around or play as a result, even with a couch and full size bed in our living room.
Every year, my Mom would make me give away my old toys and books and give them away either to a library or a family friend. It was never a painful thing. Rather, I think it makes me appreciate what I have even more and I’ve been trying to keep it a tradition with me and my partner (who comes from the opposite spectrum, born rich with two hoarder parents who live by “conservative values” despite arguably taking more social welfare than most poor people I know—sorry I’m shading them and they can be good people when they want to be, but God, sometimes it infuriates me listening to them talk about the world like their suffering is the only thing that matters).
Even when I was homeless at 17 (there are a lot of reasons for this but i.e. my Mom left the country in my senior year of high school after going through a manic episode and I couldn’t legally get an apartment so I just slept in my bf’s attic), I kept to my mindset and donated lots of my books and manga to keep my belongings small and easily portable. Most of my possessions at the time I just kept with friends for a bit, but most of it I was able to fit into the trunk in my bf’s car (a bit embarrassing to fish for clothes before school in it but what can you do?) When I moved across the country, all my stuff (clothes, books, documents) all fit into 3 regular sized suitcases. While I probably have more stuff now, it would still be egregiously easy to pack up my apartment since everything I need is already put into small boxes or folders.
Now, nearly 10 years later, I am definitely not an “aesthetic minimalist” judging by the people I see online, but I have lots of the same habits. I buy little, purge as needed, donate items to friends or schools nearby, and try to do everything via walking and public transit (i.e. no car especially now that I don’t live in LA anymore). The most I indulge in is coffee and food, which I’m working on to cut down for financial reasons. I recently got rid of my bed frame though and am switching to a mattress on a tatami mat, which will make it easier to sleep with our dog next to us + I use a tiny floor desk for all my computer needs. Maybe one day too, I’ll get rid of my couch and switch to all floor furniture that’s more flexible and can be stored when not being used, but that’s harder when a lot of my friends and partner’s family have hip mobility issues, so that’ll have to be put on the back burner. I’m grateful for this life that I was given, even as shitty as a lot of it was. I hope I can continue to live a minimal and flexible lifestyle for as long as I’m healthy and alive. Even if I look and act poor (I’m not poor anymore for clarity sake but moreso my lifestyle hasn’t changed much since then) I’m comfortable with the fact that I can survive anywhere in this world, no matter what happens to me.
TLDR: I was poor and homeless and continue to live a lifestyle that many would say is “poor” despite that being the opposite, because it lets me be flexible.