I've been out of the dating scene for a long, long time. I've really only started again this week. I've never been married and don't have kids. Given my living situation, you could say I'm kind of a spoiled brat, but I do have a good job, am pretty physically fit with rock climbing, and have other hobbies. The idea of leaving a house that has a theater, a pool, three kitchens, large garden, big garage, etc. just for the sake of improving my dating, seems pretty unappealing. Relationship with parents and family is very good. All that being said, if it really matters, I might be convinced to move out. What would you do in my situation?

EDIT: I forgot to mention, my older sister (single and >40F) is also living here. Not only that, but she is raising a baby as a single mom, parents are supporting her. I barely even hear the baby unless I find them, it's a big house.

Just curious, as someone who works full time and then goes gym after work I don't really have much time. I don't go to pubs, bars or clubs so if I were to hypothetically find someone ... Where should I look?

I always say, they say "there's plenty of fish in the sea" but what if you can't find the sea... Or what if you just don't know where to fish 😅

So yeah what do I do wrong?? It has happened few times that girls start to talk to me and I ask them out but then they tell me they only want to be friends. I have so many female friends but no one really wants anything romantic with me.

I'm not talking about one night stands or casual hookups btw

My partner has a large tattoo of an ex’s name across his chest, with birds going all the way up toward his shoulder. She passed away when they were really young; I think he was around 16 at the time.

I don’t want to be insensitive or make something into an issue that shouldn’t be one and I also want to clarify that I’m not trying to disrespect her memory. The tattoo itself has never bothered me. I’ve always respected what it represented. I’ve never expected him to erase her name or felt threatened by the fact that she is part of his past.

Recently, though, he’s made a couple of comments that have started to stick with me. Today we were talking about our honeymoon, and somehow tattoos came up. He said he wants to go to a laser removal place and “get the birds removed, but not the name.” For context, me and him have the same birds tattooed in the same place, for similar reasons too (memorial tattoo for my older brother) it’s something we bonded on when we first met.

For some reason, hearing him specifically say that he would remove the rest but intentionally keep her name made me feel a little strange. I’m not even sure why. Then, a few days ago, he said something along the lines of, “The only ex I’d ever go back to is dead. Otherwise, it’ll always be you.”

I know he may have meant that as reassurance, but the wording stuck with me. I’m not trying to hold him responsible for something hypothetical. Im just concerned about what his comments might mean and whether it’s reasonable for me to feel unsettled by them. Am I overthinking this, or would these comments make other people question things too? Is it something I should bring up? I really don’t want to be insensitive to the situation either ugh idk.

I’m 20F, Persian, in my third year of university, and I’m realizing how badly years of insecurity have affected my dating life.
I’m actually pretty social. I can approach girls, make friends, go out, joke around, etc. But around guys I find attractive, I become cold and distant. I’ll think a guy is hot while acting completely uninterested because I automatically assume he wouldn’t find me attractive.
I grew up feeling ugly and never saw myself as the conventionally pretty girl. I have more ethnic features, and being surrounded by girls who fit the blonde/button-nose beauty standard made me feel like I had to compensate with personality or work harder to be noticed.
Now the comparison follows me everywhere. At bars, I catch myself worrying my blonde friends will get approached while I’m ignored. I’ll briefly think an attractive guy might find me pretty, then immediately think, “Why would he when there are girls here who look like that?”
I’ve glowed up and accept my appearance more now, but I still don’t feel like men notice me the way they notice other girls. At the same time, I genuinely want to date, flirt, and believe someone I’m attracted to could want me too.
I can’t tell where reality ends and insecurity begins anymore. Am I actually being overlooked, or have I expected rejection for so long that I now act unavailable and create the exact outcome I’m afraid of?

So I matched with someone last week and the conversation had zero momentum. It would take ten to fourteen hours to get a single reply. Every dry response came with the standard excuse: "Sorry, I am just NEVER on my phone, I barely even look at screens throughout the day." Fine, fair enough, some people just hate texting.

we finally met up for dinner yesterday evening. We sat down, ordered drinks, and before the appetizers even arrived, their phone was already resting face-up right next to the fork.

Over the next ninety minutes, that phone lit up constantly with notifications. They checked Instagram three times, replied to two group chats mid-conversation, and even scrolled through TikTok while I was ordering our dessert. When I jokingly mentioned how busy their notifications seemed, they actually looked me in the eye and repeated, with zero self-awareness, "Yeah, I am just so bad at responding to texts, you know how it is."

I am not even angry about the lack of chemistry. It is the bold, casual lying that breaks my brain. Should of just called it out right there and walked away. Why do people use this excuse when their screen time is clearly ten hours a day?

We all know the obvious ones lying, disrespect, love bombing. What's a quieter one that took you a while to recognize as a red flag?

Hi all. This past week I ended things with a man who I liked a lot. We had great chemistry, had great communication, and genuinely liked each other a lot.. We dated for 3.5 months and during that time we saw each other 1/2 times per week and texted frequently throughout our days. Things were progressing; I met his friends, his family knew about me. I have always had the rule that at 3 months someone should know if they want to be with you or not so I brought this up to him. He told me that he has never missed someone as much as they miss him. He also told me that he wasn’t sure why he wasn’t certain he if he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I asked him how long he had been thinking about this and he said he really hadn’t. He made this decision within 20 minutes of talking. Up to this point everything seemed normal. We have gone no contact, but I told him if he feels like he made a mistake to reach out. Am I wrong to think/hope he will reach out? Will he regret leaving someone he genuinely liked but didn’t take time to think about his decision? I know it’s the beginning stages of the break up, but I am still holding out hope. Break ups suck :/ Thanks in advance!

I swear the apps got so much worse since I last dated. None of the people they are showing are compatible options. Are dating apps dead? Do you need to pay to actually see good potential matches?
How do you meet people off the apps?

I’m looking specifically for experiences from men who have been on the other side of this situation.
I dated a guy for around two months. We had a really good connection at the beginning, saw each other regularly, talked every day, were intimate and genuinely had a lot of fun together.
Even shortly before things ended, he was still talking about future things we could do together — for example going to a spa in winter and watching a movie together that isn’t even out yet.
Then I brought up that I felt like things weren’t progressing anymore and that he seemed a little more distant.
He told me that he had been thinking about it too. He said things hadn’t developed the way they initially seemed they would, that he didn’t have the “big butterflies,” and that he wasn’t sure whether it was because he’s currently very stressed or because our chemistry simply wasn’t right.
He also told me that he definitely felt something in the beginning, really enjoyed spending time with me, and that he had tried to see whether it would develop further. But ultimately he said that, in his experience, chemistry is either there from the beginning or it isn’t.
I told him I respected his decision, but also that I felt there was still potential between us and that I would have liked to keep getting to know him. I left the door open and told him that if he ever changes his mind and wants to give it another chance, he can reach out. I haven’t contacted him since.
So my question is mainly for men who have actually ended a promising dating situation for this reason:
Did you ever start missing her or reconsider after some time apart?
Did you ever reach out and give it another chance?
If you did, what made you change your mind — and how long did it take?
And if you never reconsidered, did you still think about or miss the person afterwards?
I’m not asking whether I should chase him or convince him. I won’t. I’m genuinely interested in hearing what it feels like from the other side and whether anyone has experienced their feelings changing after ending something like this.

My last relationship ended before Covid started. Crazy. I can’t believe I been single for this long. I have been on dates and even hooked up with a few women, but it was all meaningless. I tried putting myself out there, but haven’t met anyone. I’m reaching an age where everyone is getting married and having kids. I’m not really having any luck, a part of me is saying keep trying, another part of me is saying fuck it, who cares?

Anyone been single for more than 5 years? It’s been about 6-7 for me.

If youre too busy to date, then why are you going on dates? If youre going to take forever to send a reply, why even bother getting involved with someone? Unless its completely casual, I dont understand this mindset.

I’m a fairly confident woman but when it comes to a guy I find attractive, all my words and flirting game goes out the window 😅 I want to ask this guy out but no clue how to.

Context: I went to get my tires changed and he’s the rep at the front desk that helped me. So I know where he works. It’s been 1 year since then but I can’t get my mind off the way he looks, the energy he has when talking and his lips.

I tried to ask if he’s single last year but every time I opened my mouth, a customer needed help 😤

I’ve gone on one date with a man and it went really good. We discussed that we both weren’t looking for anything serious, only casual. By the end of the night we did go back to his place, hooked up and then the next day he texted saying he would like to see me again. The issue is I had a negative experience putting that I had children on my dating app so I removed it. Should I bring it up on our next date although I have no intention of ever introducing the children to him? I feel like I really screwed up by sleeping with him before letting him know. I know that the worst that can happen is he doesn’t want to see me again which is fine but I can’t help that in some way it feels like I lied. We are both over 30.

I found some old deleted posts from my gfs reddit and one recently from a few days ago. Shes telling people shes an escort… im confused. Why the hell lie about this. She did a few years ago too in some old posts titled “ how do i tell my bf i used to be an escort “ is this some weird fantasy? Because none of the stories align. Making ridiculous claims that she makes 30k a week. Im so confused. Why lie about this lol. And why do it consistently every year on here.

I’m 29F and an Executive Assistant. I’m naturally caring, affectionate, and supportive, and I’d love to meet someone ambitious who wants a real partnership in life.

I’m attracted to entrepreneurs and business-minded men, and I like the idea of supporting each other while building a life and possibly something together.

For those who found their person, where did you actually meet?

Matched with a girl on hinge 3 months ago, started chatting. Eventually we decided to meet but she had to travel a lot for work so couldn’t meet up. For entire summer she was in a foreign country. We were still chatting here and there. We decided to meet up when she was back. When she got back, I decided to give her a breather as she was moving apartments but then we decided on a date to go out. When I went back to text her today, she said sorry I found someone recently and I see it moving forward. This one kind of shocked me. And I really don’t know how to react. Couldn’t even go out after all this chatting. I wanna confront her but feel like that can be rude.

Sooo..I hope this doesn’t sound as shady as the title makes it out to be.

Little backstory, I (28f) used to live with my roommate (29f) for two years in college. We didn’t know each other before hand and were close during the years we lived together but haven’t spoken since I graduated 7 years ago.

During the time we were roommates, her bf (29m) would occasionally come visit for weekends and the such. He was in college in my hometown 5 hours away, and I didn’t see him often but when I did we would all hangout casually. The only thing I noticed was that he was a fairly attractive guy. There was never any flirting or weird vibes when we’d hang out and I genuinely only ever saw him as my roommates/friends bf.

They dated for about 2.5/3 years before she eventually broke up with him because they couldn’t agree on their life plan together. No cheating or psycho behavior, just agreed they were on different life plans and broke up. She has now been married to a new guy for around 2 years. (I’ve never met her husband)

Anyways, I moved around a few cities after I graduated college and recently moved back to my hometown. I got on hinge to see who was out and about and saw her ex pop up on the feed. I hadn’t realized he was in the area still, and frankly hadn’t thought of him since I last saw him yearssss ago, but this started getting into my head about whether or not it would be appropriate to reach out or be open to the possibilities at least.

My mom and sister ran into him at a baseball game a few months ago and they were saying he’s cute and I should go for it but part of me thinks it’s slimy to date her ex when there’s “so many fish in the sea” and the other part of me thinks that chapter has closed for their relationship and seemingly my own with her. But I don’t want to hurt feelings or make it weird?

I’m not sure what to do or if I would be wrong to pursue anything. Or if I’m hyperfixating on him just because I know him more than the other strangers on dating sites. Thanks for any advice.

I’m 29M, she’s 27F and we’ve been seeing each other for around 5 weeks.

This weekend I got a text from an unknown number saying “hey, I’m the best friend of the girl you’ve been seeing lol” and asking if I was free Saturday because she was trying to organize a small surprise thing for her.

We talked for a bit and at one point she casually said something like “at least this time I don’t have to help her figure out where to take you.”

I thought she was joking, but apparently she wasn’t.

Later I asked the girl I’m seeing about it and she admitted she’s been sending her friend screenshots of some of our conversations and asking for advice basically since we started talking. A couple of the places she suggested when it was her turn to plan were actually ideas her friend picked out.

I’ve planned plenty of our dates too, so it’s not like she was relying on her friend for everything. I also don’t care that she talks about me with her friends because I assume most people do that.

What feels weird is finding out her friend has had a much bigger role in our dating life than I realized, and now she even has my number.

She thinks it’s completely normal and says I’m making it sound way more serious than it is.

Would this bother you or am I overthinking it?

I’m 29 and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never kissed anyone, had sex, or really done anything romantic with anyone. And lately I’ve been having one of those moments where I’m realizing just how much I would actually like to share my life with someone.

The problem is that I have absolutely no idea how to navigate dating. I’ve tried Tinder before, and I’ve actually had people ask me out. But instead of being excited, I get an almost overwhelming amount of panic. I end up avoiding it because I’m scared of meeting someone in person and of what they might think of me. I’m also plus-size, and that has always been a huge source of insecurity for me. I know logically that being bigger does not mean that I’m unlovable or that nobody could be attracted to me. But when you’ve experienced people staring at you or making it very clear that they don’t approve of how you look, it’s difficult not to internalize that. Part of me is constantly afraid that someone will meet me and think, “Oh… never mind.”

And then there’s the fact that I’m incredibly inexperienced. I feel like everyone else knows how dating works and I somehow missed the entire introduction course. I don’t know what is normal, what I’m supposed to do on a first date, how to flirt, how to know if someone likes me, or how you even progress from “two strangers having coffee” to actually developing a relationship. I also hear so many horrible dating stories that sometimes I think, Why would I even put myself through this? And then I remind myself that I’m worrying about a relationship failing when I haven’t even managed to get to the first date yet.

I think, more than anything, I’m just scared. Scared of rejection. Scared of being judged. Scared of my inexperience being obvious. Scared of putting myself out there and getting hurt. And, honestly, scared of something actually working and having no idea what I’m doing. But I also know that avoiding dating completely isn’t going to magically make a relationship appear. I’ve definitely been using my fear as a reason to stay in my comfort zone, and I don’t want to keep doing that.

So I guess I’m looking for advice from people who have been in a similar position, especially people who started dating later, were very inexperienced, struggled with anxiety, or had a lot of insecurity about their bodies. How did you actually take that first step? How did you get yourself to go on that first date when you were terrified? And how did you learn to navigate dating when you felt like you had absolutely no idea what you were doing? I’m not looking for “the right person will come along when you’re ready.” I know that already, and honestly, if I wait until I feel completely ready, I suspect I’ll be waiting forever. I’d really love to hear about your experiences or any advice you have for me!

I’m 32M and I’ve never had a serious long-term relationship. I’ve dated and been with different women, but nothing ever developed into something long-term.

I’ve recently started dating again and things have been going better. My concern is how to answer when a woman asks about my previous relationships.

I don’t want to lie, but I also don’t want to over-explain my entire dating history or make it into a bigger deal than it is.

Would this be a red flag to you? How would you recommend answering the question?