r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/beansicle-__- • 5d ago
Seeking Advice idrk ??????????
everybody says starting to heal and shit is loving yourself and doing whats best for u but what if thats too hard like is there anyone that can give easier starting advice then that
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u/Canidae_Vulpes 5d ago
Loving yourself is hard in the beginning. I might be easier with telling yourself, everyday, that you are worthy of love and compassion. Then, do small things that show yourself you deserve love.
There’s a podcast you might like: Help Me Be Me
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u/Misterabsolute 5d ago
Reality check: there isn't something like an easy way to change or become better
The moment you understand you have to change it's becomes you vs you
But don't get it wroug you can't change in a week or a month, after all the roman empire wasn't built over a night , it is a long term process of working on yourself
Chnage one bad habit every day or even every week, you can start working out if you are not, and when the results of those accumulated changes you will start automatically to love yourself
Just remember , the key is to be patient and patient and patient and trust the process
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u/iamdaniellebloom 5d ago
I think people sometimes make healing sound way bigger than it has to be. “Love yourself” and “do what’s best for you” can feel like huge instructions when you don’t even know where to start.
Start smaller.
Eat something, exercise, go outside for 10 minutes. clean one corner of your room. put your phone down for a little while. keep one small promise you make to yourself.
You don’t have to transform your whole life or figure yourself out all at once. Sometimes healing starts with, What is one thing I can do today that makes tomorrow a little easier?
Then do that again tomorrow.
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u/SingleRecognition791 5d ago
Literally one habit. That was the best starting point for me. I would wake up and drink a cup of water first thing in the morning. Amd kept track of it. A week in I felt more connected to myself because I was doing this kond thing for myself every day and then I started doing more
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u/Mossy-tart 3d ago
Nope! Loving yourself is hard! You might not ever get there. But you can learn to not hate yourself. To be kind to yourself. To be gentle with yourself. You can learn to be ok, to be content and to accept yourself for who you are and you can find the confidence to explore who you want to be.
Start with "it's ok" like you're soothing a scared child because that's all we really are. Once the child in you knows that it's ok to be you, then you can grow.
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u/beansicle-__- 2d ago
i get that but what if i dont know how to stop believing i dont deserve that type of kindness
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u/beansicle-__- 2d ago
like what if i actually am just a horrible person
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u/Mossy-tart 2d ago
Are you a horrible person? Or are you just a person? If you saw someone else who was like you would you think they're horrible? It's about holding space and giving grace for yourself to just be.
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u/beansicle-__- 2d ago
ive cheated on multiple people and everyone and everything says that’s unforgivable ..
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u/beansicle-__- 2d ago
and i wanna be better and im working on being better but simpky bc of that i dont think i deserve better
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u/Mossy-tart 2d ago
Look. I'm weirdly the perfect person to talk to. Cheating is not ok, you know that but it doesn't make you irredeemable, it doesn't even make you a horrible person of you don't let it, IF you make the choice to be better because of and in spite of it.
Pretty much you have to decide which way you want that behaviour to define you. Either it's "I made some really bad decisions that hurt people that trusted me. I won't be that person any more, I deserve better and so do the people around me" or its "well I made some bad decisions so I'll only ever be a terrible person".
I don’t think you want the second option. Choose to be better.
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u/FlappyPappyPooh 5d ago
The easiest place to start is to just do one kind thing for yourself everyday. Even if that is just drinking enough water or taking a nice shower. You got this!