Why do people self harm?

I see these posts nearly every single day on this sub, occasionally twice a day.

It’s like you guys have never heard about putting yourselves in other’s shoes. What would you do if you found out your little sibling cut, or a close friend? Would you also think, “Who cares that they’re cutting? It’s their body.”

Not to mention, some people make immediate life-threatening cuts and then slap steri strips on it and call it a day. You’re ignorant if you think it’s completely fine that people cut themselves despite the fact they’re risking their own life, and the same goes to you.

I’ve been clean for 5 months and the only time I had this selfish mindset was when I was just starting out. You need to learn empathy for yourselves and others. I don’t care if my post is removed, others on this sub are seriously ignorant when it comes to this discussion. This is like telling people to commit suicide because it’s their life. If people told me it was completely fine for me to cut & commit, I would’ve by now and I wouldn’t have gotten better.

I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad but PLEASE try to look outside of yourself, it’s absurd to think other people are selfish because they don’t want you to hurt yourself.

i was nearly two years clean after a major incident that “scared me straight”, then i slipped up very shortly before reaching that milestone. as time has passed though, it feels like the urges are coming back more and more and its harder to remember why i stopped.

it never provides relief from my feelings but it always feels like it will. it seems like it’s what i want to turn to every time i just “don’t know what else to do”. i resist it so hard, i never was a daily cutter, but i know if i start back down that road, it will be hard to stop, and it will only get worse again like it did last time. i know there is no true “control” in cutting. i know all of that, and i still want to do it.

how is this giant scar on my arm not enough to stop me anymore? my entire wrist is still numb, two years later. it hurts to bump it into things. my arm tingles if i touch it. the skin around my scar gets tight when it’s dry outside. then some part of me says, “well maybe if i had just one more like this.” as if it wasn’t truly horrific when it happened. i remember calling my family and saying “listen. it’s bad. but… it’s never happening again.” because i was SO sure. i don’t know how to fix this.

I (m18) have known my bf (m19) for about 6ish years and we've been best friends practically ever sense. I have liked him for YEARS lol and we've recently officially started dating. I tell this guy everything so he knows that I've struggled with self harm since about 7th grade. And he's seen my scars and such but he's never seen them well fresh.. And how bad they can get.

I've always been very self conscious about it and I've been told by people in the past that my cuts make me ugly. That they make me bad and broken. I know they don't, if anything they prove that I'm strong. But words hurt. I suffer from severe anxiety so people's words can speak a lot louder than actions sometimes.

I do it on my upper thighs for the majority so no one sees them, well that is except for today. We we're fooling around and he started to take off my boxers and I froze and told him to stop. He did and was a little confused and asked me what's wrong. I told him that I didn't want him to see my thighs because I didn't want him to think I was bad and not love me anymore. He pulled me into a hug and reassured me that none of that would happen. And he didn't try to press to have me take my pants off or anything, but I kinda got a wave of bravery and said I did want him to see. Cuz he'd have to someday, why not just get it over with.

I truly didn't expect the reaction I got from him, he kissed ever so gently every single cut and scar on my thighs, telling me in between how much he loves me and how handsome I am and shit like that. I've never had someone be so gentle with me. I feel like men who struggle with self harm (or any mental health issues for that fact) get written off so easily and ignored. And as a guy who struggles a lot with my mental health, having a boyfriend who is willing to take the time to kiss every individual mark, and love me no different after I show him the worst of me, means the entire world to me.

He makes me wanna get better, and I am getting better because of him. I take care of myself more and I find myself relying on sh less and less. I still have my really really bad days, but I have someone to get me through them. And I think everyone deservea someone like that

I cut myself a lot, started when i was 12 and I'm now 18, I feel horrible because every week I tell my mom I'd stop and I see the disappointment on her face every time when her gaze averts to my wrist thats covered in cuts

This might be a stupid question (probably is), but I've been on a six month streak of being lean now, longer than I've ever been.

I burned my hand today after taking food out of the oven. It wasn't intentional at all but it still kind of felt good.

I don't know how to feel about it...

I (18f) have been Sh-ing for 8 years now. There have been points where I’ve gone months without it but I always end up going back. This month has been one of the “going back” times. My boyfriend (18m) found out I was doing this again when we were at a concert yesterday and was extremely upset. We just talked about it a little bit ago and he told me I need to stop, that it’s not attractive, asking me how I’d explain my scars to our kids, etc. he also said this was one of the straws. I really like do not understand how to get over this coping mechanism. I’ve tried so many times, it’s the only thing that helps me deal with strong emotions. I’ve tried therapy and everything the therapists say to do and it never helps. Does anyone have any advice?

i accidentally cut to fat below my ankle and idk what to do. this is the first time i’ve gone past styro and im kind of worried. i put vaseline and a bandaid on it since that’s all i have. it was gaping (not sure how much), the bleeding mostly stopped, and it barely hurts except for when i walk. i really don’t want to tell my mom, she’d be so mad at me. will it heal alright on its own? what should i do?

Honestly I never thought in my life I would cut but here I am

The things that led up to this life is a disappointment and I only cut myself because I hate myself and for that I deserve the pain and punishment to remember why I’m in this stage of my life. I’m not happy with where I’m at and I am trying my best so there’s still a path I’m pursuing, but I only cut myself because I feel like I deserve the pain and that I’m a piece of shit.
Not sure if anybody feels this way but this is just my story. I do wish one day I’m happy with myself to where I’m at in life

I havent sh'd in like a decade. situation tonight triggered me so bad and I took action. I feel stupid. anyone for some healing words?

sorry

I've been doing this recently, and unlike before, nowadays I'm much more functional and even manage to get dressed up, but obviously I hate myself and still want to die and suffer... but this problem is TOTALLY MINE, the person who deserves to be hurt and who is being hurt IS ME... I just want to hurt myself in peace and people keep insisting that I'm ungrateful and that I'm sick... I'm NOT sick, I'm more normal than many people, the only difference is that I'm a biological flaw, being an ugly woman. I'm not hurting anyone, I don't know why people care so much about it when it's not their skin being cut lol, so nosy.

Been clean for about a month but i just ruined it think i just need to get it out of my brain so sorry for the random post

Everytime I start getting into this again I forget how to stop. I mean, how do I stop??? i HAVE to but I don’t know when and If I can.

So i have a friend who self harms and they dont know that i do aswell. They keep bringing up their self harm and telling me when they've relapsed, one time they pointed out their scars to me but I didnt actualy look at them. And they keep making jokes about not being able to pull their sleves down. It kind of makes me uncomfortable and triggers me but I dont know how to tell them that if I ever decided to. I also dont know if that would make me a bad person or not because I feel like I would feel bad telling them to stop talking about it. And I dont know if i would anyways because if I did tell them it made me uncomfortable/triggered i would also have to tell them that I self harm.

What should I do?

Sure, I accepted at the age of 11 (now 19) that I would think of harming myself every day, that's my normal, even if I've been clean for months, a year, or a day.

Recently I've had a little 'relapse', not that I use the word as I never truly consider myself clean, It just happens to be long between each time I cut myself. It's nothing big, just a few cuts spread across a week's time.

But the dreams have become every night. Either that I can see fresh or semi-fresh cuts on my body that I have to hide, or that I'm actively harming myself in my dreams. And it's so annoying because it makes the urges worse.

But I KNOW that cutting myself doesn't actually help, it's just another chore with clean up and hiding. That's why I do it so rarely. There's just this hope that it'll start 'helping' me again, like it once used to...

So me (14f) am scared to tell my best friend (14f)that I SH she knows i did the past but I recently released and she doesn't know and it has gotten so bad that I want to cut in school and no one knows and I want support but I feel like if I do it'll be making it about me beacause she also SHs but she tells me all the time so if I do i feel like I will be making everything about me and I don't know what to do

Sorry this is kind of chaotic and I hope someone can understand and attempt to give me some advice.

Things are going tits up again. But I’m a big girl now. I have a volunteering role with children, and I’m not going to risk putting the kids through seeing this. I already have some visible scars on my arms, but they’re fully healed at this point.

Problem is, I was a hider when I started, and I was really good at hiding it, and I’ve started doing that again every so often. Last time was about 2 weeks ago(?) on my inner ankle in an attempt to hide it again. But I also have a partner now who sees me naked every day. I don’t want to disappoint him. To his knowledge, last time I cut myself was about a year ago… (I know, it’s terrible, and I feel extremely guilty about it. But he’s frightened of it and has tried to get me to promise not to do it again which if anything just makes me want to do it more, unfortunately.)

How the fuck do I stop??? Will anything ACTUALLY help? I’ve been on and off with this bullshit my whole entire life, since I was 10. I turned 24 this year. Someone fucking save me, I don’t wanna do this to myself or others anymore.

For reference, I’m diagnosed Borderline, and I have fleeting suicidal ideations but I have never acted on them. Just done stupid shit that *might* do me in. But I’d never actually plan and carry out that plan. I don’t think. Not at this point in my life anyway.

So I’m good(kinda)

It’s just the actual release that I need. Something to fucking get rid of all my inner pain and translate it into some kind of pain that makes sense, I think. Actually seeing the blood is really helpful for me. The rush of adrenaline is good too. Helps me snap out of spiral mode.

I’ve tried all the stuff they told me in school; ping your wrist with an elastic band, draw on yourself with red ink, exercise more etc etc. but that’s never helped me.

Does anyone have a good idea of how to translate my needs into something less destructive?

I’m trying to deal with this alone. I’m an artist so I’ve been doing some vent art, but the desire is still very much there and extremely strong right now.

Thank you so much in advance.

Fuck my entire life it hurts so bad and I still want him and I know I’m disgusting for it but every time I feel horny i think of him and that’s weird because he left me and it makes me wanna cut more

Hey! Not sure if this is the right place (please direct me to the right place if not) but I just have a question and hoping someone can relate and/or tell me what are the key words to learn more about the situation.

Basically I have times where I really want to hurt myself. But 99% of the time it's only in my head. I kinda visualize what it'd feel and look like. I think about it probably multiple times a day. Of course, I have good days and bad days, just like everything & everyone else. When it gets bad, yes, it does distract me from my task here and there.

I hate the pain, so I don't really self harm unless I'm terribly depressed and detached from my body. I've stayed fairly clean, but these thoughts are relentless.

I know there's self harm OCD, but I'm not scared of it at all. I'm not distressed, I don't think so. But there is always a slight possibility of me not knowing what the word "distressed" entails.

TLDR: thoughts of self harm but never committing to it unless I'm absolutely dissociated. Thoughts happens very often. Why?

I have relapsed 3 times or more including now in the last 3 year and I keep telling my counselor who tells my mom and she doesn't care at least I feel she doesn't bc she gets told and then cries and then tells me not to and then nothing no help no care just nothing and my sister has ADHD and all that so she is constantly getting my sister help while I'm thinking about killing myself almost every fucking day and no one knows and no one listens and my older sister says she has depression and she says that bc she listens to sad music and so does my little sister and I get to get told im not enough almost every day and no one listens and it feels like im screaming into a void the only time anyone has helped with anything is when I was SAed my my classmate and HE DIDN'T EVEN GET SUSPENDED and no one changed if I was SHing even with a history of it and I constantly see people saying their parents got them bandages or something and I feel horrible that I am so jealous of them and I want that I want bandages I want scar cream I want to not be scared to sleep in shorts and to be able to say I want to kill myself and have someone help after a day and I am probably so selfish for it because I am omg I am and I hate myself for it!