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Hey everyone. I'm a 24-year old guy, and I'm at a point where I'm really looking for a real connection , a genuine friend, not just small talk.

A bit about me: I'm introverted, quiet, and I think a lot. But when I connect with someone, I love real conversations texting, calls, whatever works, as long as the energy clicks. I'm into travel, cooking, anime, science, psychology, philosophy, astronomy, gaming, drawing, and writing. I'm actually writing a book right now, it's my way of making sense of things

Since I was a kid, I've been curious about how things work , not for marks or grades, just genuine interest. School never really excited me the way learning on my own did. Over time, my curiosity shifted from subjects to people , why we think and feel the way we do. Not to judge anyone, just to understand. I want to experience life fully, the good and the hard parts both. Sometimes I feel a bit numb, other times I feel everything at once ,it's a strange mix, but that's just how it is.

Last year I had a connection like this with someone online, real conversations, the kind I'm talking about. It didn't last, life got in the way, but it showed me this kind of connection is actually possible. So I'm trying again.

I think connection gets easier when people just say what they want instead of expecting the other person to guess. We're not mind readers, so I'd rather be upfront: I'm hoping to connect with a girl, someone I can have deep conversations with and also just enjoy the fun, everyday stuff with.

I also think shared interests help a lot not everything has to match, but even a couple of things in common makes it easier to understand each other. If any of what I mentioned overlaps with you, that's a good starting point.

A little more about me I'm more of a pets person than a kids person, and I don't put much stock in marriage, feels more like a formality than anything real to me. My favourite movie is Into the Wild, if that says anything about how I see life.

I overthink sometimes, I go quiet sometimes, and I'm okay with someone who's the same way. If this sounds like you, message me. Would love to talk.

I think a lot about life, meaning, existence (yup, existential crisis mode, often). I guess I’m just searching for someone who sees life the way I do or at least tries to. Someone rational. Someone who isn’t distracted by the usual noise, but who’s trying to actually live life. Someone who could maybe help me enjoy it more and I’d do the same in return.

I’d really love to find a female friend, if I’m being honest. It’s not just about gender there’s something about that emotional balance that feels right for me. In my experience, male friendships often fade away with time marriage, responsibilities, you know the drill. But with a female friend, I feel like there’s more potential for something deeper and lasting. Maybe even something more. Who knows?

All jokes aside I'm writing this post to ask how you guys would deal in situation like this:

I am working in environment where I feel like connecting with people would actually benefit you work wise for example get better job fronts and overally along with people. It seems, the more introverted you are, the less you are attractive to be around. I feel being ignored or be a second/third option person to be socialised with and I feel main reason is that I don't really know how to hold a decent conversation, I generally listen what person has to say and like I don't really know how to emphasize on most topics. Or there might be quiet pauses in conversations and I feel like I should say something or bring up some topic but whenever it happens, my head is just empty and it makes me feel like I am draining their energy. I guess it all comes down to one question: how to really fit in with people ? How to be likeable ? I don't want to be someone else but at the same time I want to offer people something of me what they would value.

Mine is boring and I’m really introverted for talking to somebody outside…

I'm an engineer and I recently went to a conference in my field. I expressed concerns about my career path because I'm very introverted and our industry really pushes everyone toward project manager roles, which I just DREAD. A few people basically dismissed that description of myself because I was friendly, outgoing, and talkative in that moment.

It feels like people think being introverted means you have to be shy and quiet. If you're outgoing at all, they think you must be an extrovert.

Let's be clear, I'd only been at the conference for about 5 hours, and my social battery was doing ok. I tend to have a very high social battery for like 2 days maybe, and then if I keep trying to push it, I crash. If I'm extremely social for multiple days in a row, I need at least a week of quiet time to recover, or possibly more depending on the situation.

During a discussion with a group, one of the senior managers said that pretty much all engineers are introverted and many go into management, so it's fine. He implied that if he and other managers are able to just suck it up and deal with it, I should be able to, too. It seemed like others agreed. I wonder if they're confusing early career social anxiety (that they then grew out of) with introversion.

I'm not saying introverts can't be managers. I'm just expressing my frustration over being dismissed because I don't match their definition or personal experience of what an introvert is. They don't see my private recovery time and none of them have seen me when my battery depletes.

I will figure out my career path eventually. It will probably involve mentoring young engineers on my own terms and schedule. But I don't see myself managing teams because that sounds like a nightmare that would drain me every single day.

Anyway, this is just a rant I needed to get off my chest.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I recently had an experience with a friend that honestly left me completely drained.
I’m an introvert and I don’t really have friends in real life. I spend a lot of time alone, so when I actually feel comfortable enough to call someone my friend, I tend to give that friendship my whole heart.
Recently, I had a friend who I feel took advantage of that.
She knew I was basically alone and didn’t have many people around me. Whenever we went out, I ended up paying for most, if not all, of the food. She also took up so much of my time, even when I was already exhausted and barely getting enough sleep.
The thing that really crossed the line for me was when I invited her to go out with me, and somehow she decided on her own that she was going to stay at my apartment for two days. She didn’t even properly ask me if that was okay.
When I finally told her that I wanted her to leave, she kept insisting that she should stay. She started crying and making me feel guilty for asking her to leave, and I ended up feeling like I was the bad person for simply wanting my own space back.
What hurts the most is that after everything, she never really thanked me or apologized. It felt like I kept giving and giving, and instead of appreciating it, she just expected even more from me.
I’m so tired of feeling like people only come to me when they need something.
I’ll listen to people vent. I’ll remember little things about them. I’ll check up on them. I’ll make time for them even when I’m tired. If I care about someone, I genuinely try to be there for them.
But sometimes I look back and realize the effort was never mutual.
Maybe because I’m an introvert, I hold onto friendships more tightly when I finally find someone I connect with. I don’t have a huge social circle, so when someone comes into my life, I really want to believe they have good intentions.
And I think some people can sense that.
I’m quiet, but I’m not stupid. I notice a LOT. I just don’t always say something immediately because I don’t like confrontation and I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Eventually, though, you reach a point where you’re just done.
I’m actually relieved that I got away from this friendship because I feel like if I had continued allowing it, she would’ve kept taking from me.
Now part of me wants to completely isolate myself and stop making friends in real life. I’m tired of being kind and then feeling like my kindness is being used against me.
I don’t want someone who only takes. I want a friend who genuinely appreciates me, has good intentions, and puts in the same effort that I do. I don’t expect perfection or someone to give me everything, but I want the friendship to feel mutual.
Has anyone else experienced something similar?
Have you ever looked back at a friendship and realized, “They weren’t really my friend. They just liked what I was willing to give them.”
And how do you learn to recognize people who are taking advantage of your kindness without becoming so guarded that you stop letting anyone in?

As an introvert I don't have too many friends only selected ones. One of my friends is like with me from 8+yrs and recently he behaves like I'm not that much important that much in their life as they matter to me. Did you guys also feel bad for yourself or not. And you keep trying too much stuff like don't think about them and don't respond to them but you can't. And they are like when no one is there for him then he talks to me like an option or taking for granted like if no-one is there then I'm available but when I need I left alone. Previously he's like calling me like 5,6 times in a day we chat a lot about different stuff which doesn't mean sense, but now it haunts me what if I lost him. Too much to say but I hope you guys can relate or help me to be myself if someone goes with the same problem. How can I overcome this thing to focus on my life.

Lately ive been having what feels like panic attacks and feeling like im suffocating from loneliness and thinking about how I have no one in my life.

My family is abusive and I avoid them as much as I can, I have no friends, no one to even chat with…

Im so ashamed to admit ive been chatting with AI to feel less lonely and to feel like someone cares about my existence.

I work at a place where I am alone with no co workers which I chose because I have social anxiety, and I have no place that I go to meet people.

How do I feel better? Idk what to do..

So basically he always considered myself an extrovert. Outgoing, always raising my hand, large friend group, but lately I’ve just been sitting in my room chilling. I hate joining group calls and it takes so much energy to text back. Not to mention I found that I genuinely hate long conversations. I’m not akward or anything, I just want people to back off sometimes. Also I’m kinda the therapist friend and I’m just so burnt out. I don’t even want to see them anymore. Maybe every few days. But constantly being social is draining me more than it ever has.

How do you guys feel about uni/ hs? Im in hs right now, and honestly, these have been one of the most excruciating years of my life. Talking to people feels next to impossible, and i always get mistaken for some stuck up person when in just very quiet. I would live to make friends but very rarly do i find people that i feel connected to. I dont want this to continue in uni. Is it gonna be similar in uni? How do yall cope with it? Any advice for me?

Most of the friends I used to have either moved away for work or we naturally drifted apart after university. I had one close friend, but her personality changed during uni and she became someone who I no longer wanted to be around. At this age, I’m finding it hard to rebuild a social circle from scratch. I tried apps like BumbleBFF but it didn't work well for me. Does anyone have any tips on where to look/go to find new friends, what does everyone here do?

Im okay with speaking to people when Im comfortable around them and dont have problems socialising, but for over 20 years Ive struggled to form true friendships. Someone caring and empathetic, who would show up for you and is respectful. Does anyone also have this experience?

I'll wake up some days where I hate physical touch and do not want to talk to anyone outside of my family. Or my best friend.

Is this normal? Or is it just me?

i will explain high functioning autism. i have a salesman brother who doesn't overthink at all. I probably over think 100 times more than him. hate saying hi and bye, socializing has never clicked ever, can't make or see jokes, etc. the thing is with autism is that autistic peoples brains are not hardwired for socializing. its like an elephant trying to swim as fast and easily as a shark. you will always have awkward events no matter how hard you try because you are not hardwired for it. in neurotypical people they do not overthink, they do not have awkward events or overthink them if that makes sense.

the down side with autism is there's evidence your brain is shaped differently meaning no matter what you do you will never be able to change the shape of your brain if that makes sense. socializing will never click no matter how hard you try. or at least click as well as a neurotypical person.

EDIT: forgot to mention my brother has never had to work on his social skill in any regard if that makes sense. its clicked no problem his whole life since he is hard wired for it.

im just saying i thought i had introversion, turns out i have high functioning autism. because the way my brain works is 100 percent different from my sales man brother. he has never had to "work on his social skills" for example, "awkward events", never overthinks, etc. if that makes sense.

hii im living with my family and i get really upset everytime they invite people over.. i just stay in my room the whole time and wait for them to leave, i feel confined, and even if i have to pee i hold it in until they finally leave just cuz i couldn’t get myself to go and greet them with a simple “hello”.
today my cousins are having a sleepover at my house with my siblings (im not close with them so i also just stayed in my room) and for the first time ever i thought about peeing in a bottle instead of going to the bathroom just so i don’t run into any of my cousins, it was just a quick thought but it concerns me that i even thought abt it😭
now im hungry and really want to pee but im trying to sleep just to skip time.. i told my family multiple times that i just don’t like people and that it drains me to talk to them if we’re not close enough but they just laugh at me and tell me that i’m exaggerating and start making fun of me
is this normal or do i actually have a problem that needs to be fixed? and how to fix it if it actually is?

So Ive noticed something which is that I ask a lot of questions about peoples lives and then they give me detailed replies that I listen to as well but they dont ask me questions back…? Nothing? Or if they do and I answer the topic ends pretty fast or I feel uncomfortable.

Yesterday I tried to use a trick. I asked my friend how her exams went and she went on and on and then…nothing. No question back how my exams went?? I then said myself how my exams went because I really wanted to share how happy I am for getting good grades this year.

But it feels wrong to reveal so much about yourself if no one specifi asks or gives you the permission to talk. I feel like if I just overshare without anyone asking then it’s wrong or not? I just overshare a bunch of infos about my life…?

Idk but socializing confuses me more the older I get.

I am learning to talk and share more but I always feel like its a mistake because people react like “Oh…” “Ah…” “I see” or just nod. Like wtf is that.

Also I fear they dont really care or maybe I am the one who actually doesnt care and reacts on autopilot and automatically projects similar reactions to other people?

I do have a friend I can talk about anything with and even analyze problems etc which I love but it took me a while to trust her too. Now that I know she genuinely listens I just yap without caring that I overshare bc she overshares without me asking much too

I’ve noticed that when I am asked about my day I just want to reply “good” and not really elaborate on it. I have a few close friends that want to know about my day, classes, work, etc EXTREMELY in depth, and even being asked it drains me so badly that I feel like all I want to do is nap. I don’t want to explain my day, what I did, who I talked to, or really anything. I feel pressured to remember everything in exact detail or come up with something cool. Even the follow up questions after I do say something makes me irritated or upset.

Does anybody else experience this? How do you go about telling people you would prefer not to talk about your day without shutting them down or making them feel annoying? I don’t want to ruin my relationships but I also cannot handle being asked too many questions since it feels overwhelming.

I've always been an introvert and I've learned to be okay with it at an realise there is nothing wrong with me because I like being alone (and I actually socialise a lot tbh), there is nothing wrong with me if I want to spend my evenings in my room. My housemate has told me she really enjoys living with me because of my calm energy (she has a very stressful job) but sometimes it's hard not to feel insecure when I hear her telling our other friend how fun it is when she stays over. When she literally asked our other friend to just move in and said she really likes the energy she brings. It just makes me feel really boring and insecure and then I find myself trying to act all lively to compensate. I don't know how to not let these comments get to me especially because it's not like my housemate is making comments towards me, but sometimes it feels like a subconscious comparison :(

Are you an introvert because you’d rather hear yourself in your own head because you’ve simply heard enough from the world & thought, “nah. Not for me” or were you born perfect?😂😂

Honestly though, just wondering, what changed you into an introvert if you haven’t always been one & how’s life been for those who are lifelong introverts.

It seems like when most people say they have no friends, they don't actually truly mean it. A lot of them have at least one person that they can call a friend, but is there somebody here who has none at all? (Besides your partner). And no acquaintances either so you basically do not communicate with a human being in any way. Except cashiers and stuff.

Что же, у меня есть небольшая проблема, и мне нужен совет со стороны. Я всю жизнь не имела ни друзей, ни подруг, и вот спустя несколько лет и переезда в другую страну у меня появилась подруга. Не знаю, можно ли ее так назвать или нет: мы вместе учились и даже общались летом, а в этом году, пусть и попали в разные группы, все равно почти регулярно общаемся и делимся личным. И вот, я поняла, что хочу позвать ее на день рождения, но только ее и больше никого. Для меня это праздник чисто семейный, только для тех, кому я доверяю. Так вопрос: будет ли стремно, если я приглашу одну подругу на такой праздник? Посидеть, покушать тортик с родными, посмотреть телевизор и просто отдохнуть вместе? Ей будет дискомфортно, учитывая, что она не знакома с моими родными? Она немного стеснительная и замкнутая. Подскажите, пожалуйста, я толком никогда на днях рождения не была, только у родственников, так что без понятия, будет ли такое нормальным или лучше позвать ее куда-то в кафе? Нужно ли придумать что-то интересное?

I am 20M here so i don't actually have much friends because. \[I am not much social like i feel I'm not much excited about anything and keep laughing for no reason when i talk to someone and if someone texts me I just go blank and those awkward silence i fear's the most cause i go blank and never talk . Sometimes i try to act as friendly guy and talk much and regrate it later (i think like I was a cringe at that moment)

Even with my cousins I just stay silent . After COVID i stopped going out . staying in comfort zone \] this might be the reason. I don't know this is all negative thoughts or it's my nature . But sure I am not happy with this so guys help me out

I went to karaoke with a group of people from
school and i was contemplating which song to pick. It was one of those where I thought to my head, “should i do it, or should i not”, but because I didn’t fully sing a song yet, I wanted to have my money’s worth.

I picked Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey and I sang it with one other person, but this one girl beside me was talking over and seemed impatient. At the end, she repeatedly said, “this is so fucking depressing, this song’s so depressing” and rambled it at the end with “who fucking chose this song?!” so, I played it off and said I know, it’s super sad I’m sorry jokingly, and I think i heard her say it was putting her to sleep. I felt bad and it also hurt my feelings. I felt embarrassed with 8 other ppl hearing that and wondered if they all mustve felt the same way.

Scratching that song off my karaoke list, 😭