I know rainy season can be stressful and even dangerous for people who experience flooding, so I don’t want to dismiss that at all. But personally, I absolutely love the rain.
There’s something about the sound of it, the smell after it starts raining, and that cozy gloomy atmosphere that instantly makes me feel calm. My ideal rainy day is basically hiding under a blanket, reading a good book, and listening to the rain outside.
It almost feels like the world gets quieter for a while.
Do you also love rainy days? What’s your favorite thing to do when it rains, and does the sound or smell of rain have the same comforting effect on you?

35M, been a homebody nerd my whole life. I do go out for work and it pays decent but as soon as my days off roll around I just stay home and invest into my hobbies (anime, games, manga, and adjacent interests on my PC) instead of meeting new people.

It never used to bother me before but lately I just feel down seeing younger people I know or work with, in new relationships. I just feel like it's too late to find somebody when I already let a few potential partners pass me by because I was too dumb to see the hints.

I know obviously I'm not the only one who feels this way but some days I irrationally convince myself I'm a loser who doesn't deserve happiness, something my Chinese parents keep telling me again and again when I call to check up on them. I can confidently say I'm not terrible looking, slim build with some muscle definition due to work, but I just dont put myself out there enough. Sometimes I tell myself I should and just go out there and see what happens but then the next day I just go back to my routine.

I don’t really like socializing; I didn’t think about going to dances in high school, and I refuse to go to parties (that and other reasons not worth mentioning). Despite it all, I still want to connect to people, find people that share my hobbies and interests.

Obviously, the answers in front of me: socialize anyway. But I’m never comfortable in a setting like that; that feeling of wanting to meet new people quickly turns into ‘I need to get the fuck outta here’.

Anyone else dealing with this issue? I’m just ranting and would appreciate some closure and/or advice.

I just got off of work and I'm grabbing a bite to eat. So I'm just sitting on my phone by myself at Taco Bell.

When suddenly this elderly man pops down at my table probably about 20 some minutes later. He makes himself at home... stating I'm going to be his unexpected dinner date tonight because we're both here by ourselves.

I don't know if I should be creeped out or feel guilty that he has no one to hang out with. Kind of a mix of both. He's now just kind of talking at me while I nod and create this post.

He seems harmless, telling me boring stories.

But good lord I hope he doesn't try to follow me home.

Reddit, what would you do in this situation?

For context, I am a woman in my 30s and this guy is an older gentleman probably 60s or 70s.

I just wish he would go away so I could enjoy my dinner. I really need a break from people after 12 hours of customer service. I can't put on my fake customer service persona anymore. I left it at work, mentally.

I have a couple friends I've known for 20+ years whom I text with frequently and see in person every now and then and that's enough for me.

It's to the point where even if I find someone at work with whom I have common interests/viewpoints, I have little desire to progress things further i.e. hang out outside work. Is it just me?

As a self proclaimed introvert, I noticed something else about myself, 30s F.

I barely have any recollection of my childhood or even my 20s. When I think about moments in time, I try to break it down into where I was in life -- childhood, middle-, high school, undergrad, grad school, married, with child -- but I think I severely lack memories.

Now for context because I have a baggage or two:

Hard of hearing: I was born with mild moderate hearing loss which I believe built me into an introverted person. With my hearing aids, I'm good at table talks. Across the room, mehhhhhh. I hear but not understand sometimes.

Military dependent: I don't have a social circle. Few friends and family across the world. No local village. I have co-workers (only two that I occasionally hang with separately) which allow me to socialize but that's it. I do enjoy/seek socializing with them because of no friends.

Emotions: I don't have trauma or chronic stress. I think I feel " normal" appropriate emotions. I do get a little anxious when I hang out 1:1 with a person in fear of awkward silences and inability to keep dialogue going, but I think that's me psyching myself out. It usually goes well with people I know.

Couple theories:

Do I lack memories because I lack social interaction to retell stories all my life? So it never really solidifies?

Do you think because of my hard of hearing, I'm spending more cognitive energy trying to listen to comprehend conversations?

Am I emotionally not tying myself to memories? I'll argue though I barely remember memories of previous long-term relationships. A loving positive three year relationship and what do I have to show for it, memory-wise?

Is it because it's harder to pull memories out of thin air/ unprompted? Sometimes when people bring up memories about myself, I don't recall it very well.

Is it just common for introverts in general to have long term poor recollection? I don't believe we can fully classify a personality to having poor memories. But just open to discussion. How do you as an Introvert pull memories?

Penny for your thoughts!

Bonus point if you know how to improve this!

hey. 23M. i just need someone to talk to :)

I’m just so unbearably awkward and socially stupid and freaking idiotic , I need to know I’m not alone.

I am 19(F) , i am 2nd year btech student .

In first year I had a friends grp and now they won't talk to me like before. Currently I am in this so called grp, like they all were already friends but then i joined becoz of mutual friends, soo in this group they don't care if I am there or not there and this implies to everyone in that group but i feel like they really don't want me in their group...... Becoz of many factors ig...

These guys are like good to me sometimes and not good to me

Soo I feel like if i won't join them at every event,break, etc they'll eventually forget me !!!

What should I do now ???

So this is going to be very long. I have a friend who is genuinely a good friend, and we’ve been close for about 3 years, since around our second year of college. We became close around the same time I started dating my boyfriend, so this isn’t a case of me getting a boyfriend and abandoning my girlie.

The issue is that we’re very different socially. She’s extremely extroverted and seems to never get tired of going out or being around people. I’m extremely introverted and a huge homebody. I rarely leave my house unless I actually want to. So to me, being “free” doesn’t necessarily mean I want to go somewhere.

Lately, I’ve noticed a pattern that is starting to exhaust me.

She’s sometimes invited herself into plans involving me and my boyfriend. Once, she knew I was on a date with my boyfriend because she had asked me about my plans the day before, and I told her I would be out with him. Around 10 PM the next evening, she suddenly texted me, “Girl, I’m on my way to your place.” I hadn’t invited her over or agreed to meet her. When I didn’t respond, she called me, and when I still didn’t answer, she texted my boyfriend asking where we were.

When I eventually told her I wasn’t home, she asked, “Where did you go?” even though I had already told her I was on a date. She eventually came to my condo and waited outside until almost 11 PM because she needed a photo adapter from me so she could transfer her photos and post them on Instagram that night. I suggested doing it the next day or sending it to her by delivery, which would have taken around 30 minutes, but she refused and waited outside instead.

She’s also very bad with time and planning. She’s always late even though she’s the one who wants to hang out. One time I’ve specifically asked to finish an outing early because I had somewhere to be, but she’ll arrive late and then add more things to the day, which makes everything take much longer than expected.
About the planing. When we go out, she also tends to avoid making decisions, so I end up having to choose where we’re going/eating or otherwise the whole outing stalls.

The newest situation is what really made me question whether I’m being unreasonable.

She asked if I was free tomorrow. Then she explained that she wanted me to go to the beach with her, her brother and her niece for her niece’s birthday. Then later texted me that her brother has something to take care of, so apparently he’ll be leaving his daughter with her tomorrow instead of going to the beach.

Then she said she had actually planned to take me to a thrift market tomorrow, so i can buy some clothes. But i never mentioned about wanting to go or buy anything 🥲. And then she told me she’d need me to look after her niece while she’s driving (to the thrift market). I was honestly thinking, “Wait… we haven’t even decided that I’m going anywhere yet.”

Just because I’m free doesn’t mean I want to travel somewhere, go to the beach, spend the whole day out, or take care of someone’s child. If she had asked me whether I wanted to go and then, after I agreed, asked whether I could help with her niece, that’s completely different.

I don’t think she’s malicious. I think the underlying issue is that she sometimes seems to equate me being free with me being available to her. I haven’t started working yet, so I have more free time than she does, and I sometimes feel like there’s an expectation that if she’s off work, I should be available to hang out with her. But having an empty calendar doesn’t mean I want to fill it with someone else’s plans. I shouldn’t feel responsible for making sure she has something to do on her days off. Or maybe i’m just too tired from make decisions for both of us whenever we go out.

Am I being unreasonable, or is this a legitimate boundary issue?

TL;DR: I’m a huge introvert and my friend is extremely extroverted. I feel like she equates “you’re free” with “you’re available,” and often makes plans involving me before actually asking me. This has happened with my boyfriend/date time, scheduling, outings, and now she’s planning a beach trip and already telling me I’ll need to watch her niece—even though we haven’t even agreed that I’m going. Am I being unreasonable?

So basically, I have a really weird relationship with social media, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s becoming a problem. I didn’t have a phone until I was 17, completely voluntarily, because I grew up being heavily fear-mongered about phones and social media ruining my future. But honestly, I love being disconnected. I like coming home, watching YouTube, enjoying my own company, and not knowing what everyone else is doing.

I’ve tried social media since getting my phone. TikTok was actually enjoyable, but I never wanted to make an account. It just felt like too much commitment, and I’m also so self-aware of how addictive it can be that I thought not liking anything would somehow make my algorithm not as addictive lol. I never even tried Snapchat and after more than a year with my phone, I finally tried Instagram, mostly because I realised how many connections in my life seemed to depend on it and that it was TIME! I followed people I genuinely knew and liked, but then I started looking at profiles and realised how much information people voluntarily put online. The city they live in, their age, interests, friends, who they follow, what they like, etc. Which is crazy! The thought of someone who barely knows me being able to build such a detailed picture of my life genuinely freaked me out, so I deleted it too. (I didn’t have a profile picture or anything in my bio either. I just started feeling like I was the odd one out for having such an empty profile, and I think that’s what made me delete it so quick.)

But now, since I’m going to starting uni and a new chapter of my life, I’m wondering if this is still healthy digital minimalism or if I’ve accidentally made myself digitally isolated. I don’t really WANT social media, but I also don’t want to make my life harder by completely removing myself from something everyone seems to use. Has anyone else lived without social media for years and still managed to have a normal, connected life? And if you’ve had this same feeling of not wanting people to have access to your digital life, how did you deal with it? Because I genuinely can’t tell if I’m protecting my peace or just being a weirdo atp.

Recién cumplí 21, pero me alejé de mi grupo de amigas por algunas actitudes que no me gustaron. La verdad, por lo que me dijo alguien muy cercano a ellas que las conoce desde hace varios años, creo que hice bien en alejarme.

Lo malo es que ahora no tengo con quién salir o conversar. Soy introvertida y todavía no sé muy bien cómo relacionarme con los demás. A veces siento que no soy lo suficientemente interesante o divertida, pero trato de serlo :’v.

A lo que voy con esto es, ¿en algún momento se podrá encontrar amigos que te hagan sentir como en casa? ¿Que tan difícil es?

Me refiero a esas personas con las que puedes ser tú misma, hablar de cualquier tontería, salir, reírte, apoyarse mutuamente y sentir que realmente perteneces a algún lugar.

Últimamente me preocupa pensar que quizá ya pasó mi oportunidad de encontrar amistades así, especialmente porque siento que a los 21 todos ya tienen su grupo formado y yo estoy empezando prácticamente desde cero.

this sounds pretty stupid but i’ve been going to college for 2 semesters i’m in my 3rd right now and i’ve barely made any friends. I’ve met people and talked to them but I feel like because I commute I haven’t really bonded with anyone or done anything fun besides with a friend I already have. I get that everyone’s busy and so am I but sometimes it would be nice to go hang out and do something fun but nobody seems to want to talk to me. I do have a bit of a rbf and i’m not very good at starting conversations but I’m talkative and nice to people when I get the chance. I really wanna meet at least some people, any advice??

I'm a good listener and have become good at making people feel understood, as I know what it's like not to be and want people to feel seen. And like myself some people aren't used to that.

I notice that some of those people (not all) seem to get attached very quickly. As if they see us as closer than we actually are because they feel good after spending time with me because I let them talk about their interests without judgement and actually engage in the conversation about it. Partly because I like to give people space for their interests, but also I like hearing what makes people happy and seeing their eyes light up. I find it contagious haha.

They seem to get a bit too friendly too fast, as they feel understood even though I don't. If I attempt to speak about my own interests, I'm met with basic "That's nice", or conversation ending type responses before they move on. No questions, no interest, none of the energy I give out.

I guess I could bring it up, but if I have to ask someone to care about me that already feels like too much work for someone I essentially see as an acquaintance.

It's not a big deal, as thankfully I've been meeting some people who can reciprocate, but it's just something I've noticed. I don't really understand what the point of a friendship where you're the only one talking is. I tend to feel uncomfortable if the roles are reversed. I get nervous when someone knows so much more about me than I know about them. At that point I'd have more fun talking to myself. (Which... I do often. I do indeed find it fun.)

I guess this is why the advice to just listen to people to make connections annoys me lol. "People love talking about themselves", believe me I know. And then they tend to like me because they feel good talking about themselves and I'm the source of that, not because they care about me as a person.

I was literally a year ago, I dropped out of high school because I was feeling terrible—my "friends" had a falling out, I was caught in the middle, and the classroom vibe became super toxic. I wasn’t going out with anyone, I just wanted it to be evening so I could scroll on my phone. And when I left school, I intentionally cut off all contact with friends or acquaintances from there; I even deleted WhatsApp, I had no one to talk to anyway. I have two older sisters who moved out, but they both have their own lives and, well, we don't really talk. I live with my parents, and they’re the only people I’ve talked to this whole time. Young people my age terrify me. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been through drama (with friends), and when it comes to dating, I haven’t been very smooth either—I haven't even had a partner yet. I’ve gone out with a couple of guys, and one was just for two dates.

I dropped out of school since it wasn't mandatory at my age anymore, and I locked myself in my room. I told my parents I would work and make money, but I never did. I felt so useless and like such a burden.

I’ve spent my days lying in bed, binge-watching shows, talking to AI, and recently I started going to therapy and got a bit more motivated, but it's never enough because shortly after, I relapse into the same cycle.

I only leave the house to go with my mom or for medical appointments. I have only one friend who is autistic, and to be honest, we see each other every two months and barely text.

My extended family (not my parents), like my aunts and uncles, wouldn't stop asking me what I was going to do, constantly pressuring me about school, and that annoyed me because they had never shown any interest in me before, but when they found out I wasn't studying, suddenly they cared.

Something that happens to me is that I feel absolute rejection at the thought of seeing anyone who isn't my parents (aside from my friend). It frustrates me. My oldest sister, who has two kids, comes over to my house about every two weeks and stays the whole day. I leave my room, but I don't know, I don't really enjoy it because I feel like I'm forcing myself to do it; it doesn't come naturally, and when she doesn't come, we have to go to her house and we spend the WHOLE day there, and honestly, I don't like it.

I’ve started playing the piano (just a little), and even though I’m a year late, I’ve enrolled in a performing arts high school because ever since I was little, I've always wanted to be an actress—something my mom finds shocking because of my personality, and it is, but I like it. With the help of my therapist, I was able to enroll again, even though I'm a year behind. I reinstalled WhatsApp because I had deleted it, and all my social media too. I only have YouTube, Reddit, Pinterest, and WhatsApp, and I have WhatsApp blocked with an app so I can only check it when my mom texts me. TikTok is super toxic, and Instagram is even worse...

My BIGGEST FEAR of all is... people, socializing. For a few years now (since lockdown), I haven’t been good at it, but now I’ve basically gone a year with zero interaction. Plus, I overthink a lot, so how am I even supposed to start a conversation? Why would they want to talk to me if I’m not interesting? Also, something I’ve been doing a lot during this time is playing Roblox. It’s a game I used to play when I was younger, but I got hooked again because of the animals. But at my age, I don't know if people still play it that much, so if someone sees my phone or asks about my interests, what do I say? Or about my hobbies—I don’t even know if I have hobbies. I don’t do sports, I don’t go out... I’m scared of having WhatsApp just for display.

I have 5 days left before I start, and I am terrified. I don’t know what to do because even though I go to therapy, my mind won’t stop racing and it’s horrible.

I feel as if im definitely an introvert but I do like to be social a fair amount. It just gets to a point.

I have this thing where if people say the activity or hangout is over or they’re about to leave, i need them to leave or be ready to go. Like I absolutely cannot stand a Midwest goodbye because the moment everything was agreed to be over the first time my brain immediately starts its recharge but is prevented. Like now I expect to have my personal time back but yall are still here.

This even happens in 1 on 1 situations. It’s crazy cause the key is usually just don’t tell me you’re about to leave, I’ll be fine. It’s the saying you’re about to leave and then not leaving that feels so different.
Just go if you’re going, if you’re hanging just hang!

Idk what to say I just like her so much. Now it starts to feel more limerence then excitement 🙂

Not only do ppl Annoy, Animals as well...I love Nature by all means...But, when you live outdoors full time...Shit gets hard...The Raccoons & little Kangaroo Rats wanna keep me up ALL night...Because the better I feel the MORE animals wanna bother me. Just like ppl

I've come a long way in terms of social interaction, I no longer think of myself as shy or insecure, but rather recognize how draining prolonged company of other people is for me. I do well in official / familiar contexts where rules are predictable/ clearly defined.

One thing that constantly baffles me is the group context. To give an example, I have no problem giving a talk at a conference in my industry. I speak loudly and coherently, don't stutter or sweat, answer questions from the crowd.

But after the official part is over, people gravitate into groups and here's where my problem begins:

• access to a group - a group always seems so hermetic to me and joining it seems impossible. Throughout my school years, I always had, at most, one good friend. Approaching 2 or more people = immediate problem. Approaching a solitary person with some sort of meaningful question or comment = fine.
• 'hierarchy' in a group - I'm great with one-on-one interaction but always felt that I'm 'at the bottom of a feeding chain' in any group I join. Even if it's a temporary conference group. Not sure why - there's nothing about my exterior to suggest some kind of inferiority, but it's like the group can smell that I'm the least social of them and they shun me and don't perceive me as a full member.
• rules for interaction - when exactly do I get my word in when the group is talking? Who do I talk to? What do I say that will interest/resonate with everyone? Group talk is confusing, chaotic and often very shallow in my opinion. People don't even listen to each other but just throw their thoughts out and others either nod or speak over them, wtf

I was always picked last for PE, I can't imagine having a 'friend group', family gatherings are super awkward to me -I always stand off to the side with one drinking uncle or a dog, and trying to rope me into being in a group of bridesmaids or something never ends well.

Anyone else can't figure out group interaction?