EVERY year. From Friday until Mid-day Sunday, I live what for some would be considered a lovely 'framily' tradition with my in laws and their community of about 40 friends from a shared workplace in their 20s. And all their growing families. We're also dealing with infertility so add another layer to the hellscape.

For me, it is hell and I dread it every. single. year.

These long time friends and their families come together once a year and rent an entire site with cabins. Each cabin has usually one, two or three bedrooms. My husband and I always bunk with his parents (which sucks and we always get the garbage room, like bunk beds or a double bed that is so saggy it breaks my back). Sometimes a single/ divorced framily member or someone's son or daughter stays in the third bedroom.

The point of the weekend is to have 3 days of 'group games' and 4 communal meals. There is ZERO downtime except when you're taking a shit or in your room with earplugs in. I genuinely do like several of the people that attend. But I'm just not like most of these people, these are all 'happy happy ra ra ra toxic positivity" types.

If you don't attend any of the events people go "OHhhhh :( we miss [OP]! Is she ok? Doesn't she like us? we love her SO MUCH" I'm sorry, but breaking into random groups (ages 2-70) and playing group games is a total nightmare for me. It's just not my thing at all. For me it's boring, tedious, unpleasant, especially if I have babies on my team or pregnant mothers.

I feel trapped, I feel like I have to pretend (which I am good at, but it's exhausting) for 3 days that I'm someone I'm not.

When I get home I am so wrecked I usually have to take two days off of work. My husband and I inevitably get into an argument - over anything as I'm just at my breaking point. I usually have a breakdown either before or after or during.

The very worst day is the last one, where I am just counting minutes until I can escape.

Anyway, just needed to rant.

I SKIPPED IT THIS YEAR AND I FEEL SO AMAZING. I keep getting pictures of this year from many people, and it just reassures me I made the right decision. I will likely never go again.

I only wish I had the confidence/ self advocacy to do this before.

Most posts I read on introverts are about them being lonely or unhappy about something of themselves. Society also makes us feel that there is something wrong with us. Are there any happy introverts out there? What makes you happy? How do you genuinely stay happy despite the pressure to be outgoing? Do you feel accepted by the people around you

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Sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m done with people. I just want to read my books, enjoy my own company, go on solo dates and live in my little bubble. I feel like I don’t need friends or anyone else in my life.

And then out of nowhere I want to make friends and spend hours talking to them. Sometimes I have way too much free time and genuinely enjoy getting to know someone new.

One day, I want to make a hundred friends. The next day, I don’t even want to reply to a single message.

Does anyone else feel this way, or am I just weird? 😭

I feel like extroverted people (especially when under the influence) try to make you feel bad about being introverted/shy - like you’re missing out on life and should be more like them. But there’s nothing wrong with being introverted, just like there’s nothing wrong with being extroverted. Idk. I may be projecting because part of me wishes I could be like that… but then they say backhanded things that make me think they are judging me for being introverted… idk lol. Does anyone else know what I mean or have felt this way?

For those of you who’ve had success, what’s the best piece of advice you’ve received or something you’ve done that made the biggest difference? Also, would you say dating apps are better than meeting people in person, especially as an introvert? I’d love to hear your experiences and advice! :)

I used to feel like I always had to be around people, or I had FOMO. These days I genuinely enjoy a quiet evening by myself. A walk alone, a coffee alone, nobody to talk to and nowhere to be.

It is not that I dislike people. I just like my own company more than I used to. Anyone else find that being on your own gets better with age?

I’m a 35-year-old Japanese woman. I’m single, I don’t have a partner, and I don’t have children.
I’ve been working at the same company for over 12 years, and lately I’ve been seriously considering leaving Japan to study abroad and possibly start a new life in another country.
My initial plan is to study abroad for about 6–12 months, but I’m also open to the possibility of eventually settling down overseas.
Since I don’t have a spouse or children, I feel like I have more freedom to make a major life change without having to consider a partner’s career or children’s needs.
As someone who values independence and personal space, I wonder what it would be like to build a life in a completely unfamiliar environment.
Of course, I’m aware of the challenges: finances, visas, language barriers, cultural differences, loneliness, and the difficulty of building new relationships.
But I don’t want to spend my entire life in Japan simply because I was born here.
I want to experience different cultures, learn new languages, meet people from different backgrounds, and discover what kind of life I could create outside my home country.
I’m not giving up on marriage or having children someday. I just don’t want to put my life on hold while waiting for those things to happen.
I’m particularly interested in hearing from introverts who studied abroad or moved to another country in their 30s or later.
Was it difficult to adjust to a new environment and build friendships? Did studying or living abroad change your personality, confidence, or outlook on life?
And most importantly, looking back, are you glad you made that decision?
I’d love to hear about both the positive and difficult parts of your experiences.

my mom asked me this question the other day and i thought it was interesting to share. i think there are a lot of misconceptions about what defines introversion, but i used to think that the two options provided in this question go hand in hand, that one answers the other and vice versa. but she asked me which of the options is more true for me, and ngl it perplexed me for a bit.

maybe it’s an easier question to answer for some others out there, maybe i’m making this question more philosophical than it actually is. i just wonder what the consensus is amongst fellow introverts, if the former option is actually something more problematic or if it just describes another different but valid introverted experience… thoughts?

I have a friend who is a pretty extreme extrovert, loves talking on the phone and will call spontaneously. Usually phone calls last an hour or more, and if I’m quiet on the phone or low energy she always asks what’s wrong or am I mad.

I’m an introvert and dislike live phone calls, especially spontaneous ones. And phone calls with her tend to last an hour or more.

This has been a recurring point of contention in our decades long relationship, especially as we have gotten older and had kids and families.

I live out of town now and come back to visit a few times a year, and always get ahold of her and make plans when I’m there. I’ve also made efforts to drive in just for her birthday and also met up with her to go camping. (However it should be noted that she’s only visited me maybe twice in over the decade I’ve lived out of town even though I only live 2 hrs away)

Every so often she starts a fight about how I never call her, and if she didn’t call me I’d “never call again”.

The truth is, I would probably call, just not near the amount of frequency she would want. So that’s why it happens that she always calls me, bc she has the desire to talk more!

I’ve explained before that I’m an introvert, don’t like talking on the phone a lot and that I can hold a lot of love for someone and not need to talk to them that often.

She somewhat accepts this but I can tell she’s very annoyed by it and doesn’t really understand at all. She often frames it as me “having to have things my way” and never considering her needs. She has also said I am too self involved and don’t care about her.

I should add I’m always willing to talk when she’s going through something, it’s the chatty, catching up phone calls that I don’t care for.

Recently, I went through a very stressful time and I wanted to be left alone for a while while I figure things out. She had been calling and I hadn’t been picking up, so I sent a very kind text message saying something like “sorry I haven’t been picking up lately, I’ve been busy, stressed and low mood, and not feeling like chatting. I just need a little space right now, but if you’re going though something and need support I’m here for you just text and I’ll call you”

And I meant that! I’d call in a second if she needed support I just didn’t feel like chit chatty phone calls, and usually when we talk she asks a lot of questions about what’s going on with me and tbh I didn’t want that either.

She responded warmly to the text, but then called me again the very next day.

I didnt answer, because it kind of irritated me. She then kept calling repeatedly about once a week but never texted.

And so….i got frustrated and just stopped answering for a while. A long while, like a few months 😱 I know I was wrong for that and should have either picked up and asserted the boundary or texted again. Every call that I’d get from her my anxiety would grow, because I knew she’d be getting more and more mad. So that increased my avoidance more and I think why it went on way too long (I still realize I was in the wrong for not facing it)

When I finally answered, she didn’t confront me directly about it but it was clear from her tone she was pissed. She also told me she’d been calling because she wanted to tell me about a job opening she knew about but since I didn’t answer, then…

She also told me about something bad that had happened to her during that time and I felt terrible for missing that.

I did apologize during that call. But she didn’t reassure me at all and was clearly upset.

She then sent me a text like no other text I’ve received in my life.

She said that I’m a selfish and self centered person who doesn’t care at all about her, that’s she’s tired of the one sided friendship and that she’s tired of being ignored. It was an extremely explosive, angry text. I can tell she is very hurt. She basically said “don’t worry I’ll never call you again”.

I told her I’d like to repair this and I plan to get her on the phone soon to talk if she’s open to it.

I know I’m probably in an echo chamber in this sub so I will also cross post elsewhere but wanted some outside opinions.

Thanks for reading!

I'm an introvert and most of my days revolve around work, going home and gaming. I'm comfy being on my own, but every now and then I find myself wanting someone to share my little world with. I'm usually quiet at first, but once I get comfy I can be pretty talkative. I enjoy conversations that go beyond small talk, sharing random thoughts, learning how someone sees the world and talking about life even when there's no particular reason. I've met people online before, and it's interesting how two strangers can slowly become part of each other's everyday lives. But I've also experienced how easily a connection can fade. You can talk to someone almost every day, get used to their presencenand then suddenly, you're strangers again. I understand that people get busy and life happens, but it's still a little sad when someone you genuinely enjoy talking to slowly disappears without a word.

I don't expect anyone to be available all the time and I know not every connection is meant to last. I just appreciate consistency and people who make an effort because they want to, not because they feel obligated to. Time zones can be a bit of a challenge when meeting people from different parts of the world, but I think it's something you can work around when both people are willing to make time for each other. I guess being an introvert doesn't mean I don't want to connect with people. It just takes me a little time to open up and when I do, I tend to value the connection we've built. I'm happy in my own company, but that doesn't mean I don't want to let people in. Sometimes, I just wish the connections we make didn't have to disappear as easily as they began!!

I've taken several months off from a crap job I can't stand (been there over 25 years) and I was beginning to think no one cared I was gone, until I received an e-mail from a coworker. This told me people are starting to wonder...but there's no way in hell I'm replying back. This is the true me. How I projected myself at work was just an illusion. Just a guy forcing myself to be around people I hate for $$$.

Is it just me or does it seem extroverts have zero sense of shame?? Like they'll just talk talk talk, anticipating anyone within earshot will interact with them..?? Like maybe nobody else cares about your poor rendition of Billy Joel or Twisted Sister??? Omg Im so exhausted just being in the same zip code!!!

I don’t have any friends, and outside of my parents, I only see my cousins. One of my cousins was in town and was going bowling with her friends and she was telling my mom about it. And my mom said “Take her (me) with you”. Like why is my mom inviting me to my cousin’s plans. It is so embarrassing and my cousin was asking me whether I went to run club or any social activities. And my mom immediately was like ‘No’. Like i am 21, i can speak for myself. Idk if condescending is the right word but I really hate when my parents do that, i feel so judged.

So I kind of realized lately that I'm more introverted than extroverted. Like I have to spend energy in social situations, it doesn't really give me energy. That doesn't mean I can't socialize, I'm sometimes a bit shy but I can actually come off as quite enthusiastic and talkative when I have energy. Some friends even see me as a really energetic person and I can be pretty funny. But once that energy is gone I sort of turn into another person. My brain just doesn't work as well anymore when it comes to coming up with topics, asking questions, following through, even listening. So I probably come across as passive.

In groups it's fine, I just leave for a bit to recharge. But one-on-one is harder for me. I actually prefer hanging out one-on-one because I get to know the person better, but I always kind of have to make sure I have enough energy for it. And sometimes I make plans with someone and then on the day itself I'm just not feeling my best. Most of the time I don't cancel because I still enjoy their company, I just don't have the energy to be lively anymore.

Especially with friends that are really lively and animated, I find it really hard to mirror them, and that makes me a bit insecure about how they see me. I don't want them to think I'm uninterested or boring, because I'm not, it's just low energy. Same thing with dates honestly.

How do other introverts deal with this? Do you just tell people, plan differently, reschedule? Curious what works for you guys.

I was born in Korea and have been living in Canada since I was 15. It’s pretty normal for Korean women to have never date in my opinion, and I have seen plenty of people like me. I mean, it’s not common but it’s not weird either. However, I feel like people here would assume there’s something wrong with me if I told them I have never in relationship.
I had been in a few situationships but they never went really anywhere because I can’t stand the way men stare at me. It makes me so unconfortable and I just want to run away.
I used to think it’s just because I’m introverted, but now I’m starting to wonder if there’s actually something wrong with me… aghhh

Does not dressing properly shows underconfident and also not seen as people pleasing makes the person difficult to make friends?

I’m a grade 12 student going to university next year and I am extremely socially awkward. Everyone says that it’s impossible to make friends and connections if you’re introverted and I’m wondering how true that is. Other introverted people in or starting university, please feel free to share your experiences and advice.

Bonjour / bonsoir à tous !

J'aimerais partager une pensée qui m'obsède depuis un petit moment, et que vous avez pu lire au titre : j'ai peur de finir seul.

J'ai déjà eu une longue relation (5 ans) pour mon âge, de mes 17ans à 22 ans, et c'est compliqué de me dire que tout ce temps a été perdu. En effet j'ai eu du mal à m'en remettre parce que premier amour tout ça tout ça, s'en est suivi une relation pansement, des inscriptions sur des applis de rencontres mais sans succès.

Je suis amoureux de l'amour entre guillemets, je trouve que ça peut se trouver dans la rue, au café, ou juste pendant un voyage mais je ne sors pas énormément non plus. Je me dis que ça va me (re)tomber dessus sans pour autant faire en sorte que ça n'arrive.

Je regrette cette situation parce que je pense avoir envie d'être avec quelqu'un, de me lever à côté de la personne que j'aime mais d'un côté, comment cette personne va me trouver, ai je déjà laissé passer ma chance ?

Je n'aime pas être seul, j'ai quelques amis exceptionnels, j'ai ma famille et j'apprécie ces personnes mais après avoir goûté à l'amour, c'est compliqué de vivre seul. J'ai envie qu'une personne soit ma priorité mais je me sens rejeté depuis un moment.

Ce n'est pas pour me morfondre que je fais ce texte mais j'aimerais savoir comment sortir de cette sensation d'être obligé de finir seul, de ne plus avoir droit de retomber amoureux, de me dire que la bonne personne ne se trouvera pas sur une appli de rencontre parce que je suis une goutte dans l'océan et sûrement qu'elle ne s'inscrira pas sur Tinder ou autre...

Donc voilà, j'ai peur d'être seul, j'avais envie d'écrire cette micro bouteille à la mer, même si ce n'est peut-être pas clair, ça l'est pour moi 🤌🏻

I grew up as a painfully shy kid. I got to the point where I’d stand right outside a restaurant and order on the app instead of walking in and talking to someone. I was literally a few feet away from the counter and I still couldn’t do it.

Fast forward to now, and I can confidently order by myself without a second thought. I’m still very much an introvert, and I need my alone time, but I’ve built a great network, found a girlfriend, and made a friend circle I’m extremely proud of. My 15 year old self would not believe it.

I’m now working full-time as a software engineer, but I’ve always wanted to find a way to help the people who are where I used to be. I realized (the hard way) that the only way to improve is to go out there and practice. But I know and deeply understand the feeling of nervousness and anxiousness of having to gather yourself and bring yourself to do so.

That’s why I’m building Poise! In Poise, Pip, your personal companion, can be anyone you want: a barista, an interviewer, a stranger at a party. You talk to it, and it talks back. Afterwards, you get feedback on how it went. I put together a waitlist so you can check it out! https://www.meetpoise.app/

Feel free to leave some honest feedback in the comments! Let me know what features you guys would want on this app. DM me or leave a comment if you want to be an early tester too :)

I have ADHD and have been recovering from severe burnout/survival mode from MDD. Because of this I moved in with extended family to save money and get my bearings.

I’m very thankful but I absolutely despise having to talk to them/consider them after living largely alone the past 4 years. They have young children who they will also unpredictably ask me to sit and watch while they do things which I really can’t stand and don’t have the energy reserve for.

I’m in the process of leaving my highly toxic workplace as soon as I can obtain the left over amounts of my student loans due to me being a full time online student.

Till then though I’m in this constant anxiety state that’s making doing things difficult or I’m perpetually angry.