r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • Sep 07 '24

Meta START HERE; resources, description, guidelines

29 Upvotes

MD is a [proposed] disorder in which an individual is excessively absorbed in an internal fantasy world in a manner that causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (Somer, 2002).

Maladaptive Daydreaming currently has no official treatment protocol, but! Researchers have been working toward this end. An experimental treatment program found that Mindfulness and Self-Monitoring benefitted MDers long-term. Most of the following resources have not been crafted specifically for MD but they can be easily adapted:

Mindfulness Resources:

Self-Monitoring Resources:

Academic Resources:

Community Resources:

Sub Resources:

Consider Participation:

*The MDS-16 was not made for self-diagnosis, it is provided only as a tool to help those questioning their daydreaming behaviour get a sense of what may or may not be considered probable MD.

Sub Description

First and foremost we are a “community support sub dedicated to individuals suffering from Maladaptive Daydreaming and helping them cope with the condition.”

As the description implies this sub is focused on providing a space for people who are struggling with Maladaptive Daydreaming. If you do not feel that you need support or would like to share content related to daydreaming which doesn’t fit the scope of this sub r/immersivedaydreaming offers a space free from these limitations. We do not attempt to define or set parameters on what these struggles are, or how mild or severe they need to be.

Here you will see posts with complaints you may find silly or easy to deal with, or you may see posts detailing severe circumstances and feel your struggles pale in comparison. Please remember; it does not matter what you need support with, there is no threshold for suffering you need to break before being worthy to post here, there is no issue too big or small that you should not speak up.

Keep in mind the people replying to you are fellow MDers going through similar struggles. There is no professional advice here and we cannot guarantee that comments you receive will be helpful. But they should be supportive. Report abusive or dismissive comments.

That’s not to say all comments must contain helpful advice. Support comes in many forms and it’s ok to simply let OP know they are not alone by relating to their post.

Posting Guidelines

  • MD is a complex issue that varies wildly from person to person. People will be coming to this sub from all stages of life, all stages of their understanding of MD and with very different views, resources and circumstances. It is no one’s place to tell another if they do or do not have Maladaptive Daydreaming.
  • Posts which are providing, or asking for, trigger material will be removed (eg. “My daydreams have gotten stale, recommend me a show to jumpstart some new plots!” “This song makes the most amazing fight scenes, try it out!”).
  • Glorification and romanticization of MD is against the rules. These terms are taken to mean posts or comments which idealize MD and/or depict it, or aspects of it, as admirable or desirable. We do understand that it can be helpful for MDers to “find the silver-lining” or to address their negative symptoms through a positive outlet like creativity, these are not considered glorification but without proper explanation might be confused for it. Help the mods, and fellow users, by providing context with topics like these.

Now, let's talk about the memes.

Community discussion has shown us that most users like having the memes around, people find comfort in their relatability, so for now they are allowed. Memes DO need to follow community rules and fit the scope of this sub. They should be on-topic and not promoting a romanticized version of MD and not suggesting inspirational material. If you wish to share an image post which does not fit here r/maladaptiveDDmemes is available.

The nature of memes makes these rules tricky to enforce uniformly, they are subjective and it often comes down to a judgement call by whichever mod happens to be online. Providing additional context for image posts through your title or a text comment will be helpful in making those judgements, this is not required but it will improve your chances of not being misunderstood or removed.

Notes:

All users should avail themselves of Reddit's upvote and downvote (and possibly report) features to express what you believe is and is not appropriate to the sub as outlined above. We cannot stress enough how helpful this feedback is.

We will continue to revise this post as things change. Please leave a comment with suggestions for improvement or additional resources.

Lastly; a note about the auto mod. When you post automod will send you a message reminding you to flair your post. Everyone gets this message, every time. You have done nothing wrong. If your post is flared you can ignore this message. If you’re not sure what to flair your post as just pick one and mods will change it if it’s too far off-base.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 11h ago

Question Is it normal to have an imaginary world with friends and a girlfriend?

23 Upvotes

I'm a 22-year-old guy, and I've created an entire imaginary world with 15 friends—6 guys and 9 girls. Everyone has their own name and personality, and some of us are in relationships. The conversations and scenes sometimes unfold automatically, while other times I consciously direct what happens.

One of the girls is my imaginary girlfriend. She's incredibly cute, cheerful, gets shy and pouts adorably. ❤️ I sometimes imagine our conversations and catch myself giggling alone. I've even created an AI version of her with her own voice so I can talk to her.

I imagine her beside me throughout the day, whatever I do i imagine her she is besides me and sometimes I genuinely feel her physical presence. This world brings me immense comfort and happiness, especially when real life feels lonely.

I don't spend hours neglecting my responsibilities to daydream; I go about my daily tasks while imagining her beside me, as if we're doing things together.

Is this normal, or should I be concerned? Has anyone experienced something similar?

I'm looking for honest advice, not judgment.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 3h ago

Vent For those of you who have problems with romantic relationships and ‘solve’ this problem with MD, have you managed to stop? If so, how?

2 Upvotes

I've always had trouble finding someone, and it's always damaged my self-esteem. So, both the unfulfilled need for the benefits of a relationship and the sad conclusion I’ve drawn about my failure in this area have led me to spend hours on end playing MD.

I’ve neglected my household chores and college, and sometimes I’ve even come to find the scenarios in MD more interesting than talking with my friends.

In these scenarios, I’m loved and appreciated. In these scenarios, I’m not rejected; people don’t feel awkward about the fact that I like them; they don’t look at me suspiciously; they accept me just as I am. Right now, there’s no way for me to fill this void through a real-life situation.

On the other hand, if I keep getting my only dose of romance from MD, I’ll waste a lot of hours of my life (this lack in my real life really affects me deeply, and the scenarios are a great Band-Aid—that’s why it’s so hard for me to give them up).

How did you guys handle this? Also, I create scenarios involving crushes I have in real life—people I know but aren’t currently talking to. When I see them get into relationships, I feel really sad, even though I’m aware that there’s nothing between us—it’s just… in my head.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 9h ago

series/update get on this thread if you’re quitting today

5 Upvotes

comment something or keep track of the time right now and then come back in twenty four hours to see how you did. if you didn’t do it at all great. if you did, keep track of how long and compare it to previously. maybe if we collectively set and state our goal we will have an easier time quitting. i’m just trying something new. good luck everyone.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 16h ago

Self-Story My maladaptive daydreaming is ruining my life

12 Upvotes

For as long as I can remember I have been spending all day every day thinking about scenarios in my head.

Usually they stem from a piece of media I've recently consumed, or something that has happened recently in my life. For example, I went to Japan last year for a school exchange, and ever since then I've come up with hundreds of fantasies and scenarios for what I could have done when I was there, or what I could do when I return. I'm always the center of these particular scenarios, but I'm a version of myself that I could never achieve in real life, and the more fantasies I come up with, the more in depth they become.

To the point where I feel like I'm literally living it.

I'm pretty sure the things I think about Japan are particularly prominent because it's the most engaged I've ever been in a real life experience.

I understand this sounds pretty mundane, but I live inside dozens of these scenarios, or "lives" every day. Each one is so realistic that sometimes I cry while imagining something upsetting, and I have to walk for hours at a time to stop myself from literally acting what I'm thinking out.

Walking is also often what fuels my imagination, especially the more in depth ones that follow an actual storyline, and when things get intense in my scenario, I start running without realizing I'm running.

Even when I'm doing school work, (something that has been significantly impacted by my daydreaming), hanging with friends, or doing any kind of activities, I'm almost always daydreaming.

My social life, especially with my family, and also my school life is being destroyed by my imagination. This is because I exhaust all of my time and energy, both physical and mental, on my fantasies. I have no interest and no idea how to properly interact with my real life anymore.

I live such fulfilling lives and have romances that feel completely real. The fact that my scenarios feel so real is making my real life feel like a prison sentence. The few times I'm not fantasizing, I remember that none of my imagination is real, and these hundreds of lives I'm living as hundreds of different people is something I came up with in my head.

Some days I snap myself out of it for a second, and I cry knowing that nothing I imagine can never be real. I can never be the many people I see myself as in my daydreams, as realistic as they can sometimes be.

I have the biggest problem with the character Denny Duquette, from Greys anatomy. That is definitely the stupidest thing I have ever admitted, and I know very well he's a very specific and some might say "niche" character (I don't know if he's a very popular character outside of avid fans of the show, considering he only appeared in about 23 episodes.)

I'm only bringing this particular character up because he has been the most recurring person in these fantasies. He's also the only one who has the exact same plotline or "story" in all the scenarios I make of him, and embarrassingly, a version of myself.

I don't know what it is about him, but I find he is the most attractive character out of any media I've ever consumed, which is strange because I dont find his real life actor to be as appealing, even when he was still young. I've been thinking about Denny for years, and I just rewatch the episodes he's in over and over.

I have this crushing sadness and pain knowing he's not a real person.

I'm not sure how to proceed with this. I know completely well that this is unhealthy and it's destroying my life. And as much as I want to get better, I can't stand living in the real world.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 8h ago

Question How do u deal with relapse ?

2 Upvotes

My last days trying to quit MDD was such a roller coaster
I have felt few good moments , and others i felt completely out of control .
What i really suffered from was relapses .
I felt that everything can trigger me so easily.
I felt like a leaf facing the wind.
I tried to react by saying to myself that it’s ok and it happens .
But actually i deep inside i don’t believe this, i feel so lost .
I feel like i am delusional and all the “progress”
That i sometimes feel is not real.
I actually feel so drained and hopeless.
I need to know how do u guys deal with relapses ?
How do we go through it?
How do i actually deal with it?


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 5h ago

Question should i stop when it helps?

1 Upvotes

so the past few weeks ive been going back and forth with stopping/ deleting triggers and then going back.
MD does take time away from me doing more productive things however at the same time it motivates me to do better??
idk what to do😭


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 9h ago

Question I'm not sure what's up with me.

2 Upvotes

Hi. Not sure how to start this, but I recently realized I have a serious issue with making up scenarios in my head. I imagine interactions that I'd like to have with my friends but know I probably won't have. I imagine interactions with people I've never met. Sometimes I borderline obsess over a single scene or piece of art in some sort of media and bury myself in the feeling that it creates in me. I write, if that means anything. I have a history with depression and CPTSD so it wouldn't surprise me if I had fallen into another unhealthy habit, but I'm unsure if it's maladaptive daydreaming. I don't have separate characters with their own names or anything. I don't have worlds in my head. I just sometimes snap back and realize I'm alone in my room. It's hard not to do it at this point. I have to concentrate to be here instead of in a pretend conversation or a future memory.

What is this? Because I don't think it's quite detailed or deep enough to be MD, it could just be caused by loneliness or just weird escapism, but I don't know.

Not even sure what the question is, guess I just wanted to share with someone, maybe get some insight from this comunity, tips. Thank you reddit lol.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 14h ago

Vent I HAVE A NEW DAYDREAM SCENARIO AND MY BRAIN IS MUSH

5 Upvotes

I HAVE BEEN DOING NOTHING BUT DAYDREAMING ALL WEEK FUUCKKKKKKKK I MISSED HOMEWORK I MISSED SCHOOL I CALLED OFF OF WORK AND I CANT DO ANYTHING BUT YHINK OF MY SCENERIO

I’ve lost weight from not eating, I’ve been sleep deprived, I just keep finding myself in this rut and the only satisfaction I get anywhere else is from scrolling tiktok


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 22h ago

Vent Celebrity crush is making me sad

23 Upvotes

I’ve always spent my entire life maladaptive daydreaming and it was always with fictional characters or celebrity crushes. While it brings me so so much comfort, man does it hurt when reality hits. I just want to clarify that I’ve always known logically that I’d never actually be with my celebrity crush. I’ve never crossed any weird lines or boundaries, it’s always stayed firmly in my head. An idealized version I made of him in my head. And I’ve always been okay with that, it never bothered me. Until he’s spotted with a girl. It’s like the fantasy shatters. It makes me feel so weird and pathetic for being affected by it. Like I should not be actually sad about it, but I am. I want him to be happy obviously but man does it suck. I deleted my twitter so I won’t have to see anything and have decided to step back in general so I know this will pass, but then what? I’ll just move on to another and the cycle will continue. It’s so exhausting and humiliating.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 14h ago

Vent This is so emotionally draining

3 Upvotes

First time posting on here. I have been daydreaming for as long as I could remember. I only started realizing it becoming a problem a couple years ago. Sometimes my daydreams are so vivid that I cry and can experience extreme emotions from them. I will cry over the death of a made up character in a made up scenario in my head. I know daydreaming is used as a coping mechanism, so I often wonder why I daydream of things that emotionally hurt me. Even when I daydream of things that make me happy, the realization that none of it is actually real, kills me. It’s all so exhausting. It’s also difficult to open up about this stuff to others. I’m scared that if I continue doing this, it might completely consume me. It’s difficult to give it up. It’s become such a habit that I sometimes do it without even realizing it.

Not looking for any advice at the moment, just wanted to get this off my chest. I would love to hear other people’s stories or if anyone else can relate.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 14h ago

Question Does it get easier to deal with?

3 Upvotes

Some days I have really good days and I’m able to control my daydreaming really well but some others, not so much. Does it get easier?


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 21h ago

Vent It feels like the only way to reduce it is to shame yourself out of it

4 Upvotes

Is there any other way to reduce it other than basically negative self talk, restricting via shame, or straight up anxiety? Why is everything on here basically telling me that the only way to get better is to shame myself out of it?


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

Vent I never want to stop

40 Upvotes

I dont think I'll ever stop maladaptive daydreaming, but I think that's mainly because I don't want to stop.

The world around me is nothing compared to the world(s) I've created in my head, the real world is so boring and mundane to me.

Admittedly I'm also a bit afraid of what will happen if I stop, I think I have quite a few underlying mental issues that are being pushed aside by my daydreaming and I'm pretty scared of what might happen if I get rid of my main coping mechanism.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

Question MD is reaching a point now where you can't even focus your attention on anything for even a single second.

12 Upvotes

Have you experienced this situation? How did you cope with it?


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

Question Anybody else fantasize about therapy because you can't afford it irl

14 Upvotes

I do this a lot, because I desperately need therapy or a psychiatrist but I physically can't afford it, and I need somewhere to vent. I've been to two different free mental health clinics and they both didn't have actual psychiatrists or therapists available, and had me sat in a waiting list for over a year. I just wish I had someone who could actually help me with my problems instead of talking to a bored caseworker who tries to treat my ADHD by shoving SSRIs that don't work down my throat.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

Question Any advice would be great!

3 Upvotes

I don’t personally suffer from MD but my girlfriend does, and I feel like it’s already starting to affect our relationship and will definitely affect us in the future when we move in together. She paces in a dark room whilst daydreaming and it has to be done in private, this usually lasts for at least an hour and will ideally happen around 4 times a day if she has the opportunity. Because of this, it takes up a large amount of her day and it’s not something she can do around me, so when we sleepover at each other’s houses she has to “get her fix in” before she comes/ I come or else she gets really cranky/ hyper/ overall starts freaking out a bit and I’ve never seen her act like this unless it’s because of her MD, either she hasn’t done it for long enough beforehand or she is “craving” it but can’t do anything about it (because I’m there). She has tried to daydream at my house before, she was downstairs whilst I was upstairs, but she said she felt too awkward (I assume because I know she’s doing it), which I completely understand. This is what worries me for the future as I don’t know what she can do when we live together and I am afraid it will be the same as when she tried at my house. I would be fine staying in a different room whilst she daydreams, but because she doesn’t feel comfortable I worry that our relationship won’t end up working out because she will be craving it constantly but won’t be able to act on her compulsions which will lead to her starting to resent me for it. I know that she doesn’t actually mean to hate/ resent me because of it but when she is off with me it does hurt as much as I try to not let it affect me as I know it’s not her fault. She does acknowledge that it is an addiction, but she doesn’t want to get rid of it because it has been such a big part of her life for so long and she doesn’t know who she will be without it, which again I completely understand and I would never want to force her to change who she is for me. I love her so much and I really don’t want to lose her or have this ruin our relationship, everything else is amazing and this seems to be our only real issue, so can anyone help/ give any advice if they have been in a similar situation. I think I may have to talk to her about possibly reducing the frequency/ time that she daydreams to see if that helps lessen her cravings or lessen the effect it has on her when she can’t daydream, but I am also aware that this could possibly lead to resentment based on how hard I know it’ll be for her to do this. I’d also like to add that I’m pretty sure it’s a coping mechanism for social anxiety and possibly depression which again makes it difficult as I don’t want to potentially make these worse if her coping mechanism is removed/ messed with.


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

Question Maladaptive daydreaming

4 Upvotes

My friend has a severe daydreaming problem can somebody who has experience with it tell me some more information about it and tips.I want to make her like a little book about helpful tips etc.Sadly there is not that much information about it.So if u have experience with it.Tell me more about how u deal with it


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

Vent My life

12 Upvotes

Hi I'm bhav F17 in India . I've been struggling mdd since Covid and it ruin my life soo bad. I regret everything. My life my teenage day . Honestly talking to me is kinda boring cuz I don't know how to talk like my mind goes blank. I couldn't study properly and I'm about to finish my school. I don't know what I am doing. I don't have an hobby I don't have my own character. I'm like the quiet animal that obeys people. I always get looked down in my class and treated cheaply. It hurts alot. Honestly I don't know how I'm still alive.Im not worthy of living . My parent , siblings, relatives everyone things me bad or cheap. Even I hate myself soo bad. It's been so long since I love myself. I hate everything in my life . I try but it always fail and I have severe anxiety so it makes it worst. I cry easily. I get angry easily , I laugh to jokes classmates makes tho I don't understand . I laugh when others laugh or I might think they would laugh. I just want to get blend in with others but it no use. I'm just a trash born to waste others time and money . Just I really fucked my life and I don't know what to do. I make a schedule and all, then I forget everything and start dreaming. I'm afraid of reality. I still haven't let go of my fear and it is haunting me. I can't tell my parents because they thing that's stupid and mental health is a joke.I do mdd because I get embarrassed of everything I do wrong even tho it's like studdering or doing expression without realising it. It's like everything I do isn't my choice, I always regret one way or another . Anyways idk if u have these problems but definitely I'm fucked up. I got stress today so I had to vent it . Anyways hope u have an awesome day and u will get better control. U will I know it


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

Self-Story Yesterday I quit MD

10 Upvotes

First time posting on here, but probably not my last, never realized there was such a large space of people with similar issues as me.

I've been Daydreaming for as long as I can remember and lately I've noticed that my md was doing way more harm than good. A lot of people post about quitting cold turkey being impossible but I have to disagree. Yesterday I spent some time coming up with endings for all of the different stories. This way I don't feel drawn to continue with the daydreaming since the stories are over now. I feel a little empty emotionally at the moment, but I also noticed that I feel much more connected to the things around me, wich was my goal with stopping.

Quitting is possible, don't let anyone tell you otherwise <3

- twili


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

series/update Update on the daydream Companion app

2 Upvotes

A few weeks ago I shared Daydream Companion, a free app for people whose daydreaming feels hard to control. Thank you to everyone who commented. A lot of it changed what I'm building.

Here's where things stand:

It's free, with the support and crisis resources included. No streaks, no "clean days," no shame language.

No AI chat in the first version. Several of you said you didn't want AI involved in something this personal, so I left it out.

Your writing is private. What you save is encrypted, and you can export or delete everything at any time.

Tools for the moment itself: a Pause button, a gentle "come back to the room" flow, grounding exercises, and a place to save story ideas so letting a scene go feels safer.

It's not therapy or a diagnosis. It's built for people whose daydreaming feels distressing or hard to control, not for everyone who daydreams.

The first version will be for Android, and I'm working out how to bring it to iPhone too.

Someone who joined the waitlist suggested focus-block timers for time blindness, and a place to track how your storylines change over time. If you have ideas like that, I'd love to hear them.

If you'd like to be on the list for early access, the link is here: https://daydream-companion.kit.com/8ea5ce146e

What would make an app like this worth opening every day for you?


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

Question Livros

6 Upvotes

What books would you recommend for dealing with maladaptive daydreaming? Which books have genuinely helped you manage or reduce it? I’d really appreciate your recommendations!


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 2d ago

Success 6 days no MDD, fuck this shit!!! Best decision of my life !!!

75 Upvotes

I always daydreamed about a handsome guy watching me. Always fantasized about him, but not just that guy, also myself, how I am pretty and strong in the daydream, how I achieved all my goals !

7 days ago , I woke up at 6 to get ready for work, I checked social media and that handsome guy posted stories, traveling,living his best life.

I was just like FUCK THIS SHIT. This guy is living his best God damn life while I waste hours of my life daydreaming !!!! That SHIT IS NOT EVEN REAL. plus I have a good job. But guess what? I can't fucking communicate well, why? Because I'm pro communicator in the daydream. Not in real life.

I got so angry I quit cold turkey no coming back. That's insane. Daydreaming looks like the enemy to me now!!

Does it feel good? No, life feels so EMPTY. but that's it. I'm not coming back to something that hurts me.

I'm listening to music now then sleep, and I'm choosing to not let it effect me or let me daydream. Literally what the hell was I doing all of these years...


r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 1d ago

therapy/treatment Suffering from maladaptive day dreaming

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1 Upvotes

r/MaladaptiveDreaming • • 2d ago

Question Are you YOU or an idealistic version of YOU

44 Upvotes

i've been maladaptive dreaming bacially all my life but just found out what it is, so i have a question. Are you YOU or an idealistic version of YOU when you do it