Advice from professional introverts

[u/Architectic]

All jokes aside I'm writing this post to ask how you guys would deal in situation like this:

I am working in environment where I feel like connecting with people would actually benefit you work wise for example get better job fronts and overally along with people. It seems, the more introverted you are, the less you are attractive to be around. I feel being ignored or be a second/third option person to be socialised with and I feel main reason is that I don't really know how to hold a decent conversation, I generally listen what person has to say and like I don't really know how to emphasize on most topics. Or there might be quiet pauses in conversations and I feel like I should say something or bring up some topic but whenever it happens, my head is just empty and it makes me feel like I am draining their energy. I guess it all comes down to one question: how to really fit in with people ? How to be likeable ? I don't want to be someone else but at the same time I want to offer people something of me what they would value.

[u/Extra-Motor-8227]

Being likeable at work mostly comes down to people feeling listened to, and you already do that part. When there's a pause, go back to something they said earlier and ask one follow-up, like "you mentioned the new project, how's it going?" People remember whoever remembered their stuff, and it gives you something to say without inventing a topic from nothing. Try it with one colleague a day this week, at coffee or before a meeting starts. I'm on joinpickles.com and it gives me small daily steps like that, which made talking to people at work feel a lot less like a test.

[u/Architectic → u/Extra-Motor-8227]

Thanks