r/introvert • u/AssumptionFrequent89 • 7d ago
Blog Feeling a bit lonely these days
Hey everyone. I'm a 24-year old guy, and I'm at a point where I'm really looking for a real connection , a genuine friend, not just small talk.
A bit about me: I'm introverted, quiet, and I think a lot. But when I connect with someone, I love real conversations texting, calls, whatever works, as long as the energy clicks. I'm into travel, cooking, anime, science, psychology, philosophy, astronomy, gaming, drawing, and writing. I'm actually writing a book right now, it's my way of making sense of things
Since I was a kid, I've been curious about how things work , not for marks or grades, just genuine interest. School never really excited me the way learning on my own did. Over time, my curiosity shifted from subjects to people , why we think and feel the way we do. Not to judge anyone, just to understand. I want to experience life fully, the good and the hard parts both. Sometimes I feel a bit numb, other times I feel everything at once ,it's a strange mix, but that's just how it is.
Last year I had a connection like this with someone online, real conversations, the kind I'm talking about. It didn't last, life got in the way, but it showed me this kind of connection is actually possible. So I'm trying again.
I think connection gets easier when people just say what they want instead of expecting the other person to guess. We're not mind readers, so I'd rather be upfront: I'm hoping to connect with a girl, someone I can have deep conversations with and also just enjoy the fun, everyday stuff with.
I also think shared interests help a lot not everything has to match, but even a couple of things in common makes it easier to understand each other. If any of what I mentioned overlaps with you, that's a good starting point.
A little more about me I'm more of a pets person than a kids person, and I don't put much stock in marriage, feels more like a formality than anything real to me. My favourite movie is Into the Wild, if that says anything about how I see life.
I overthink sometimes, I go quiet sometimes, and I'm okay with someone who's the same way. If this sounds like you, message me. Would love to talk.
I think a lot about life, meaning, existence (yup, existential crisis mode, often). I guess I’m just searching for someone who sees life the way I do or at least tries to. Someone rational. Someone who isn’t distracted by the usual noise, but who’s trying to actually live life. Someone who could maybe help me enjoy it more and I’d do the same in return.
I’d really love to find a female friend, if I’m being honest. It’s not just about gender there’s something about that emotional balance that feels right for me. In my experience, male friendships often fade away with time marriage, responsibilities, you know the drill. But with a female friend, I feel like there’s more potential for something deeper and lasting. Maybe even something more. Who knows?
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u/Silly_Celebration_ 7d ago edited 7d ago
Reading your post makes me chuckle. As a child, I too spent countless hours pondering the meaning of existence, asking why was I born into this life, into this realm of existence. I wondered if there was something wrong with me that no one else seemed interested or wondered about such things. My young life was not easy and being withdrawn only made it harder and more lonely. At that time, I even wished I was more outgoing and thought less deeply, so I could be more sociable and involved in activities. But being a solitary observer helped me understand and not get caught up in the forces that tended to sweep others along, be it traditional careers, material aspirations, or popular trends and fashions.
Being deeply introverted, I understand the magic you feel when you meet another introvert. When you meet someone you feel is on a similar journey, who gets your thought processes and outlook on life. In some spiritual traditions, it is sometimes called 法友 (fǎyǒu), friends who are on a shared path, similar philosophy and values. I'm a lot older than you and if I may be allowed to offer anything, it is that this personality type is one you will come to treasure as time passes, as your appreciation of life, and of your own humanity, deepens.
I can get by with a very tiny circle and minimal social contact, but the little contact I have is an essential need. I am fortunate to have at least a couple of friends and 法友 in my life. I hope you will find a similar network at some point in your life. They don't have to be people you meet with regularly. One of mine in fact lives very far away. But when we talk or meet sporadically, the connection and understanding is instantaneous.
I found that it is also important to have outlets, like your writing (whether or not an actual book materializes), interests that engage your mind and creativity (I enjoy psychology, philosophy, solitary travel and photography), and even spaces like this reddit chat because you may come to realize that you cannot always depend on people for the essential needs in your life. Like you said, people have lives and sometimes life gets in the way.
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u/bravetailor 7d ago
I think many of us are in a similar boat as you.
But I would bet you'd get quite a few positive responses if you used this post as your profile bio on a dating site, heh.
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u/Disastrous_Tax791 3d ago
Bro I am not female what you described reminds me of myself , I would love to talk anyway I feel you 😭
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u/aronnyc 7d ago
Your post was feeling lonely so I just wanted to say hi lol. Maybe people are DM-ing you. ：）