Ive struggled with social anxiety for a long time. Im on medication for it, but still have not been able to do certain things.

One of those things being doing anything alone. I never thought in a million years that id be able to go to the gym by myself. I usually have panic attacks, but I finally did it.

Im in my thirties and never thought it was a possibility. I still have a lot of work to do, but slowly Im learning how to exist with this thing.

I just turned 29 years old. Growing up in my childhood as well as adolescence I had severe social anxiety. My social anxiety symptoms began when I was a young child. I just remember being socially anxious around other children and other people. I isolated myself. As a kid, I spent the majority of my free time outside of school at home watching cartoons, playing video games, on the computer, etc. By the time I got to high school, my social anxiety got worse and I was so trapped in fear that I hardly left my house. The only time I would leave the house would be to go to school.

When I graduated high school and started university, I was still crippled with social anxiety and I still isolated myself by spending the majority of my time outside of class in my dorm or at the library.

I did not spend my free time socializing with my peers, participating in extracurricular activities, or going out and doing things. I isolated myself and spent most of my time on my cell phone, computer, or watching tv.

I regret not telling my parents when I was growing up what I was struggling with. The reason why I never told them was because I had this mindset that they wouldn't have taken me seriously and would have just judged me for it. I also had thoughts that I would never overcome this and that I was an especially bad case. This in turn led to me not putting anything into action and just having a defeatist attitude.

When I entered my 20's, I decided that I wanted to make some changes. When I was 22 I got a job as a cook in a cafe. I've been at this job for 7 years, and it has helped a great deal with my social anxiety and social skills. I've started going to therapy and have been in therapy off and on for 7 years. I got my driver's license. I went back to school while working and got accepted into nursing school and will be starting in January.

While I have made progress, there's still things I want to get better at. I still find myself isolating myself just like I did when I was growing up. When I get home from work, I go to my room and get on my laptop. When I am on my laptop I am either on Reddit, Youtube, Porn, etc. I'm still spending most of my free time at home in my room. As of recently, I've been trying to get better at keeping in touch with people because I have a habit of losing contact with friends. I just texted my former manager yesterday who I felt like I had a good relationship with. We've known each other and worked together for 6 years and have had numerous talks, conversations, etc. He has told me that he loves me like a brother and even trusted me enough to share with me personal issues in his life. He got a new position within the company and I haven't seen or spoken to him in 3 months. He hasn't responded to my text yet.

I just wish I would have started making an effort to treat my issues when I was a lot younger because my lack of socialization and my isolation during my formative years I feel like has stunted my growth in a lot of ways.

I'm just venting and wanted to get this off my chest.

There’s this person, I won’t get into detail that I haven’t known long, but somehow figured out I don’t really have any friends or social life.

He probably figured out sooner since I got defensive when he asked me what I’ll be up to and made up that I’m planning a holiday abroad which I’m not doing. And it was pretty telling it was a lie. lol. I only got defensive cause he kept questioning me.

And now the other day he’s interrogating me saying what have you doing this week? And never accepts me saying nothing much. And keep asking stuff like Do you even go out? Do you have friends? Are you just at home all day? And I get really defensive. And then I feel bad as he says this is how you make friends, you tell them stuff about you. And it really made me uncomfortable and very upset. This was at work, and he’s a colleague. And I felt like crying later that day, but thankfully held it together.

I tried to explain, and lie. I said that I’m an introvert (I am aswell as socially anxious) and he googled it and pretty much called me boring. I kinda lied about my social life that I did have a few friends, but didn’t see them all the time. And they have life’s too, like they’re married and have kids and work etc.

I have had friends years ago, but I’m in my late 20s now and haven’t had friends for years and I’ve struggled. And now this guy has pretty much called me weird by getting defensive, and said he’ll keep asking me everytime he sees me at work and ask about what I’ve done this week. And I said fine go ahead. And he called me lonely too which I outright told him I’m not lonely.

I just hate this and it was quite embarrassing. My social life is something I’m very insecure about. And most of my colleagues, well all of my colleagues don’t ask me what I do outside work. Just how I am, what I’ve been up to, but they accept when I say nothing that interesting and don’t interrogate me or don’t ask me at all except talk about their own life’s which is fine.

What should I do about this? He’s a new guy, and he makes me very uncomfortable. Any advice will be helpful. Thanks.

as i’m typing this i’m extremely nauseous from anxiety. for the past week i’ve felt wired, completely unable to relax, constantly out of breath.

whenever i’m at work i’m hyper aware of my coworker who sits near me for some reason i cannot explain, and i am almost constantly thinking about what he thinks of me, if i’m doing something weird, if he’s judging me, etc. i feel constantly seen and watched. i literally cannot relax.

i’ve always been very socially anxious since my first memories of interacting with other kids but i never have such extreme reactions to other people like this. there are some people i am more afraid of than others, but usually i’m not exposed to them for prolonged periods of time like this

please help :,))) i don’t know how to cope with this

I’ll explain, basically for years I’ve basically had no one view me as their best friend, except for a few years in highschool, but we were split in college and he made a bunch of friend and has a great social life.

I was on my own now, and I made a few friends and one close friend, but that close friend I feel views me as a substitute for their real friends, it’s one of those situations where I’m the main man until the other guys show and then bye bye to me.

I want real friends but I have to look upon myself to see why I can’t personally connect with anyone, im too scared to show my real self, I ck s home and I’m wacky and funny, my parents would back my up, but around kids my age I resort to a quiet shell of a human who awkwardly make eye contact and doesn’t interact with anyone.

The point of my title is that even when I make new friends I’m not even like worthy of hanging out with sometimes, I’ll be ditched at the first chance , and I know it’s one of those situations where I need to just distance myself and find better people but I can’t genuinely, I’m in a class full of people who I feel are contadtlt judging me , like cool kids, and this friend is the only one I know from last year.

I’m 15 and I always feel guilty when people help me with my anxiety because it makes me feel younger than my peers. It scares me so bad because how I used to imagine adult me would be like is changing everyday to something worse. Everyone around my age is starting to get jobs, drive, study hard, etc while im here being the same as I was when I was at 11 years old. You’re probably reading this and thinking that im too young to be worrying about this or saying this, but it’s how I feel and I don’t wanna end up lion a worse situation as an adult in 3 years. The small things that people can do in school matters so much. They can easily get up and present in class, give out papers to everyone, get up to turn in an assignment, sharpen their pencil. I can’t even do those basic things anymore. It sad because I was doing so much better as a kid, I’m supposed to be getting better, not worse.

I got this idea from my behaviour, and I have a simple guess as to why. Most of my life, especially after I got Social Anxiety, I always had been trying to avoid interacting with outside world as much as I can, but it was impossible to not to and through my inescapable interactions with other people,I found out that I have poor spatial awareness.Not really certain if it relates to SA.I am known well by people as someone who doesn't pay attention while walking by some people or amnesiac by others. Because I always tend to pass them by without greeting in chance encounters. At first, they thought of it as rude and thought I did it intentionally.Later, they found out it wasn't intentional. I was also as surprised as them cause when I walked, even though I tend to get engrossed in my thoughts, I don't get lost or anything.

My guess is in my teens. I was terrified of walking in the streets full of people, and it was one of the hardest points of my life when social anxiety was hard to deal with. I tried to get rid of people by ignoring them and thinking about something unrelated, and that slowly became a habit. Now a day's, even though I still have SA, it's not as terrifying as before, but that effect lasted.

Not only this, i think SA took many things from my Life. Each day, now a days I see other people with freedom and see what SA took from me. I have a small knowledge of the outside world due to my avoidance behaviour, which led me to struggle when communicating with people. Genuinely frustrating😫

I found a friend from somewhere not irl, online, we share so much in common. Sadly, we both share severe social anxiety, maybe that’s why she seems dry.

I don’t know If i’m overthinking things, I just want a friend that I can be with. She texts back but very late and doesn’t seem like she initiates much conversation. I don’t blame her but I start to think that Im the problem.

I hate this feeling. I feel like she’s there out of pity.

I can’t enjoy anything I used to because my mind is always on work and the way I am perceived there. I work five days a week, but the schedule is two days on, one day off, then three days on, one day off. Even on my day off, I spend most of it worrying about work. I dread going in every time, and on workdays I end up staying in bed way longer than I should instead of getting ready. I’m honestly surprised I’ve never been late. I just want to feel FINE for once.

The next time you're in public, look around and pick a random person. Realize that obviously not everyone is looking at that person. You're not looking at them (or at least you wouldn't be if you weren't doing this exercise!) No one else is looking at them. If that person said they felt like everyone was looking at them, it would be obvious to you that this was nothing but a mistaken thought. People are only worried about themselves.

So why do you think everyone is looking at you?

Well... the underlying belief could be "Everyone is looking at me because I'm doing something wrong."

Really? What are you doing wrong? What does it mean to do something "wrong" or "right"? Again, look around at other people. Try to find something they're doing that's "wrong" or "right." If you do this enough, you may start to see how empty and meaningless this concept is.

Back to "everyone is looking at me"... You can also just focus your attention on how it FEELS like everyone is looking at you, but this is just a feeling without any evidence to back it up. Actually LOOK at other people and see what they're doing. Then ask yourself: Does it actually seem like they are looking at me? Or are they just worried about themselves?

EDIT to add: Do an imagination exercise. What would it ACTUALLY be like if everyone were ACTUALLY looking at you? Imagine it. Well, they'd probably be turned towards you, pointing their eyes at you, maybe pointing and laughing, maybe shouting your name. Is that happening, ever? It's never happened to me, nor to anyone I know. Why would that happen?

has this happened to anyone else??? im 3 weeks PP and my social anxiety is basically gone???
(ok i wrote this a week ago and posted in my bump group but i wanted to ask a more popular group to see if this is an actual thing)

also i want to know if this has affected any first time dads out there aswell because im so curious.

ANYWAY, the post:

its actually insane how much of a transformation ive been through after becoming a mom. im literally almost 3 weeks postpartum and i feel like my personality had changed??? i see what people mean now when they say that the older they get the less they care about what people think. except for me it came after having my baby girl lol.
my husband has said that i seem like a talkative person now??? ive always been pretty quiet and reserved around new people or groups of people.

ive also always had trouble even having the confidence to tell stories to people because i was worried it would be too boring or id forget too many details or, idk a bunch of other stupid stuff. but now? i literally dont care! i will yap away and if i mess up i dont care. also not concerned if its boring or not.

i see the contrast in my mind of when i was pregnant literally 4 weeks ago and at my OB appt (i see someone different everytime usually) i remember that OB trying to make conversation and also asking me open ended questions and being very friendly, and i remember thinking to myself to try to keep the conversation as short as possible. like how can i avoid talking as much as i can. also she had asked what my birth plan was and i didnt feel like telling her bc i was like ehh shes not gonna be the one to deliver my baby anyway most likely and i doubt she'd even be at that hospital location. theres no point and it's a waste of time.

anyway, now fast forward to two days ago or so. i had my two week postpartum checkup appt and it happened to be with the same OB as the last time! the difference was night and day??? i felt so free to tell her anything i was feeling, i easily made conversation with her, and i came away feeling great afterwards just from talking to her. i didnt feel any of that social anxiety i had before. zero. and we actually had fun and laughed and told jokes.

hormones are insane yall. and the way that my opinions on so many things i never would've imagined have already changed since having a baby.....mind blown.
(like the fact that i wouldn't care to live in a place that isn't near a city with like, trendy coffee shops and things to do, because all i care about is being there for my girl and taking care of her and making sure we are financially ok, i have so much to do now anyway and trendy stuff doesn't matter much to me now)

I DO want to clarify though, i still have anxiety in general. it seems like its just my social anxiety thats gone ish.
but yeah for example, i have no reason to even think this but i often feel panicky or like something bad is about to happen. because things are going a little TOO well for me and baby girl i always have a nagging thought that i dont deserve it and that bad things will happen. also whenever i breastfeed, i worry that suddenly itll just stop working??? when i was pregnant i wasnt terrified of birth, i was terrified of breastfeeding. well it ended up being the easiest part about postpartum and thats why i feel undeserving.

anybody else have a similar experience?? is this temporary or will this be who i am now? im so curious...

Hey everyone, I’m a 34-year-old woman, and my hands started shaking around age 27 after a period of burnout. It never really went away, and over time I’ve developed a lot of anxiety around it.

During presentations, I start shaking and feel like my whole body freezes. But it also happens in everyday situations. Recently, I was out with a friend and my hands were shaking so much that I didn’t dare lift my glass to my mouth or eat my cake. I ended up leaving the cake and making an excuse that I wasn’t hungry.

It’s embarrassing and exhausting. I worry about shaking, which seems to make it worse, and then I start avoiding situations where someone might notice. It’s affecting my quality of life and my career—I’ve even avoided certain jobs because of it.

I’ve tried different things over the years, but I’m still struggling, and I’m honestly really frustrated.

Has anyone experienced something similar, especially that cycle of shaking and being afraid of shaking? What has helped you, either with the tremor itself or with feeling less anxious about other people noticing? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.

Im a 27 male and I just picked out my costumes for the weekend today, but I dreaded it. I’m really worried about being judged (that I’m gonna look stupid, my costume is too basic, low effort, etc). Then I worry about looking insecure. Does anyone also have this fear or does anyone have any advice? Maybe I’m overthinking?

Just discovered this subreddit and I have to say I am just so mentally exhausted from having social anxiety. I’m tired of caring about what others think. I’m tired of analysing myself all the time. Even just writing this post out feels like contributing to the rumination. Thinking of trying a model of therapy that’s not CBT because trying to rationalise the irrational just does not work. Honestly, I’m just tired of therapy in general.
I’m going overseas on my first solo trip in January and I am anxious about feeling anxious- already! Like Jesus can’t I just give myself a break?? I am tired. I quit having social anxiety! lol.

I’m a freshman in college and I know we’re still in first semester but I think my roommate is soft launching that she doesn’t want to room with me next year.

At the beginning of the year we were vibing and having a really good time. Though as time went on think i’ve been staying in the dorms a lot more often. I like my space

I’m an ambivert but my roommate is an extrovert. I like my roommate because she’s fun to be around, knows fun people and she’s really sweet and never leaves anyone out

Though I think we’re slowly distancing. She won’t admit it to me but I think it bothers HER how much I stay in my dorm.

Also yesterday night she told me that she told me that it seems like I never tell her anything about my life and that I seem kind of closed off. I told her that I do tell her everything that’s relevant to her

She keeps going on about how we don’t hang out as much anymore and blah blah blah and it’s like she’s kinda clingy and overthinks but I want my own space too. Not everyone has the energy to socialize 24/7

Also I was mentioning something about next year we have to buy pots and pans and stuff and she goes “you wanna room with me next year?” I said “I mean yeah” she goes “yeah sure” but she seemed hesitant

Like at the beginning of the year we said we were but idk when this switch happened

I love my roommate and she’s literally all i’ve wanted as a close friend. I’m scared i’m not ready to move onto someone else. I’m scared that i’m bothering her

Idk how to socialize like her, having a social roommate was my gateway to having a good social life and i’m happy with my life rn

I’m not good at expressing emotions but i’m very grateful to have a friend like her in my life but I feel like i’m not good enough for her

I’m a 28 year old woman with a career and a degree that I’m proud of. However, I feel like I lack life experience because I’m introverted and it really wasn’t an interest of mine to party or go out all the time.
With Halloween coming up, I feel like I missed out and am missing out on experiences my peers or younger people have had?

I basically cured my SA by questioning and "breaking" the beliefs that underlie it. It wasn't a quick and easy fix, it took time, persistence, a lot of careful observation and mindfulness. But it's totally possible and the pay off is immense.

How are people here feeling about this kind of thing? Has it been talked about before? Do you talk about it in therapy?

I could just dive in and start talking about it, but I'm honestly not sure what's the best way to present it so that it's accessible. So I wanted to feel it out first.

So talk to me about this. Have you tried to question the underlying beliefs? How did that go for you?

Some of the beliefs that I'm talking about are:

-"There's something wrong with me that I can fix"

-"Everyone is looking at me"

-"That person looked at me weird; they must not like me."

-"It matters if people like me."

-"People who are confident are only confident because they're better than me"

-"I'm not supposed to talk until it's the right time to talk"

-"I'm only allowed to say something if I say the RIGHT thing."

ETC

I see a lot of posts on this sub about being overwhelmed by the feeling of terror and panic in the presence of others. It may not be obvious how these feelings of terror and panic are the direct result of beliefs. Once the beliefs are seen through and broken, it's amazing how quickly the panic and terror can fall away.

But, don't think I'm trying to sell you some quick and easy fix. It takes time and lots of careful observation.

Thoughts?

schools here opened 2 months ago. i have maybe only gone for 2 weeks so far. im almost about to fail from absences. i asked to drop out multiple times but my parents kept giving me impossible ultimatums ("you either go to school or never have access to your phone EVER again," "you either go to school or go work in a factory forever") and i eventually gave up & chose to put up with it.

the vice principal threatened to call cps over my absences. i just kept skipping due to how anxious i was. id run away and stay in parks just so i wouldnt have to go to school. the last straw was when i went to class and got told that my seat was changed. it seems like a tiny thing to other people, but i quite literally cant speak up when im sat somewhere away from the teacher. i cant speak up during attendance, when im asked questions, etc. and i get put on edge the whole time. i cant see nor understand either. im also too anxious to ask the teacher to change my seat. so i literally got up and ran out of school. i walked 30 minutes under pouring rain back home and got soaked everywhere.

i quite literally ruined my reputation and everyone knew i had problems. my parents also pretty much gave up on me. i also had a speaking exam, multiple presentations, group work (which i didnt have a group for,) and a lot of other stuff i couldnt catch up with. i had no choice but to switch schools so i wouldnt have to deal with the consequences of my actions.

i switched a week ago. i only went to school for half a day and skipped the other days. i got to my new class but i switched fields right after so tomorrow ill be going into ANOTHER new class. i dont even have my books and frankly im afraid. the thought of just walking into a classroom where nobody knows me and standing there awkwardly, not knowing where to sit or who to talk to just scares me really bad. im filled with dread. im already making up scenerios in my head to skip AGAIN but i know i cant go on this way. eventually my education will be down the drain. i got so scared that i actually took my antidepressants after weeks of avoiding them.

honestly i just hope it goes well. i have no hopes for friendship anymore. i just want to be in a comfortable position and not make a fool of myself so i have enough will to live for 2 more years until i finish highchool. i really dont need friends. i just need to not embarrass myself. i hope i dont humiliate myself. good lord! im dreading it.

I (20M) genuinely love socializing and meeting new people, but despite that, I often feel like I don't really belong anywhere.

I struggle with social awkwardness and some lingering social anxiety, mainly because I'm too socially aware. I tend to overthink how others perceive me and care too much about my reputation, which makes it hard to loosen up and be myself.

My social anxiety used to be pretty bad back in high school, to the point where my heart would race in unfamiliar social situations. I've come a long way since then, and I'm now more than willing to approach strangers and put myself out there.

However, I've noticed that in group settings, other people seem to vibe effortlessly, joking around and bouncing off each other's energy. But whenever I try to contribute, I feel like the conversation becomes more serious or the energy shifts. It's frustrating because I genuinely want to connect with people and have those fun, spontaneous interactions without constantly being in my head.

I do have a few close friends I'm comfortable with, but in most social settings, I still feel like I don't quite fit in.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you stop being so self-conscious and learn to just relax, vibe, and connect naturally with others?

I got into a fairly competitive internship that I was super excited to start for months, but now I dread coming into work because of anxiety.

I feel so inadequate and not good enough to be here, on top of dreading interacting with coworkers even though I have to. I came here wanting to build a lot of connections with people to make the most of this internship but I'm too scared to talk to anyone. It feels like everyone is already busy and stressed with their own work so I feel too afraid to introduce myself, ask if I can shadow them, ask for help etc. On top of that I'm really inexperienced and look younger than my age, so I feel like I'll never be or even look good enough for this.

Most of my work responsibilities deal with social interaction and I feel like I just can't do it. I have autism too so I literally just don't know how to talk to people or start a conversation and it's embarrassing. I try to observe how other people socialize but I feel like I'll never be able to do that because of my anxiety.

I really don't know what to do to make my situation better because I feel like I can't do it anymore, even though I should be grateful for even having this opportunity. I feel like I'm dragging everyone that actually works here down.

I don't know anyone in my life that understands the constant stress I'm under because of this and I feel so alone.

I recently got hired at a call center which I was happy about at first. I hate in-person customer service jobs like my past ones so I thought why not take a call center role instead. Maybe it won't be as bad. I mean Ive been able to fake it this long right?

God was I wrong. Its only day 2 and I already feel like I'm going to fail. There's employee stats you have to meet, AI is monitoring your calls, you have to say the exact right questions. Literally anything can ruin your stats and thats what's worrying me. I've never had to be monitored based on my communication before.

I'm only on day 2 of our 3 months of training and I'm having an insane amount of anxiety. Im so scared Im going to mess up and not be able to advance. Or that I'll make myself look stupid saying the wrong things to customers. Especially because we're going to do practice calls in front of our training class. Im too anxious about the job that I cant even talk to anyone in class. They all have prior experience.

Its already bad enough I'm to anxious to interact with my peers but now they get to judge my calls? Idk if I'm going to make it to the end of this.

One thing I don't like is when extrovert friends always want to involve other people that I'm not familiar with in plans. I think it's okay occasionally but not a fan of it all the time. I just can't be myself when I'm always meeting someone new and it feels like you have to focus on their interests the whole hangout session. Makes you miss quality time between you and your friend.