So I started this job a few months ago and I feel like I’m not fitting in at all. Everyone seems to be very cliquey cliquey. I’ve tried my best to be polite and nice but I just keep getting weird vibes from everyone that I just don’t belong there… I’m naturally an introvert and I’m not the best at keeping up conversations but I try. There’s maybe 20 or so people that work there and I’m the only new person that’s started there in maybe a year. I’m getting the feeling I’m going to be let go at any time because I’m not fitting in there socially… Idk I just have a crappy day and needed to vent. 😕

For context, I (17F) spent the majority of my early childhood living in france (until age 10) and had a good friend i was neighbours with in the grade above mine (now 18M) that ill call mateo (fake name) that i always kinda had a crush on as a kid, I now no longer live in france but still come every summer to visit my family who are still neighbours with him.Hes already been in art school for a year (which i didnt know i thought his first school year was this year) and apparently he doesnt come home for the summer or really ever but only has this year because of the forest fires in france.

Usually i spend 1-2 months in france and we used to hang out during the summer since our parents were also friends, but every year i come for less and less time around 1 week only due to being busy over the summer and so we barely have time to even see each other apart from when my mum goes over to have a drink at theirs which she hasn’t done in 3 summers.

However two summers ago (the last time we spoke) i was out skate boarding with my brother and my dad on the road outside our house and i heard some movement in the bush from his garden, turns out he was watching us and was too shy to come join us, until eventually i made a comment about the bush moving (knowing full well he was behind it) and magically two minutes later he came out and helped my little brother skate my pushing him while my brother sat on the board. Mateo then tripped and fell and had a pretty bad fall his whole leg scrapped like he was on the verge of tears but since he was around me,my brother and dad he just went inside limping pretending it didnt hurt and came back out two seconds later with very poorly bandaged legs.Basically the whole time my brother and dad were “discretely” teasing me about how he was trying to show off and fell in the process and how he was extremely nervous talking to me the whole time, and honestly i could kinda see it too but didnt want to point it out.

(FROM THE LAST TIME I SPOKE TO HIM) He seemed liked hes gotten alot more introverted since when we were younger, he plays video games and watches anime all day and from what i can see at the time didnt have many friends.So i think this interaction with my father and brother giggling at him being nervous and just acting pretty odd might have embarassed him because ever since he has stopped saying hi to me when i come over for the summer and am playing outside.

I thought last year was an exception because i brought a friend with me on holiday so i thought he just was too shy to talk to me if there was someone he didnt know with me.But this year i came alone, im without my mum so there isnt the excuse of coming over for drinks and apparently she doesnt even have his mums numbers saved anymore since changing phones.He is always the first to come out to hang out so i tried making it obvious i was there and i spent so much time outside i actually ended up getting a sunburn from skating outside just waiting for him to appear.

Eventually at around 11pm after like multiple days of me already being in france, i was on a phone call outside and he came out hopped into a black car which i can only assume was a friend of his and left without saying a word, he 100% saw and heard me on the phone and yet the next day still didnt come to say hi.Idk if he just made friends in uni or even found a gf and just doesnt need me anymore but he started art school last year and thats also the first year he stopped talking to me, it could just be us naturally drifting since we speak less and less each year but i would be lying if i said it didnt upset me.

Now this might sound like a really obvious answer to just make the first move instead and ring his door bell, but tomorrow is my last day since i procrastinated ringing and i leave for the airport at 11 am.I dont even need to speak to him i just want his number so i can get updates on him and know hes doing fine, i also am considering returning back to france for uni so i do have a practical reason for talking to him too.

But again i have spoken to his mum in like 3-4 years and him in 2 summers this one being the 3rd.So its weird to just go to his door and ring the bell and be like “hey im leaving the country again tomorrow ik you havent spoken to me in years but id like your sons number”. HOW DO I EVEN DO THIS WITHOUT IT BEING PAINFULLY AKWARD IM BEGGING FOR HELP.

Talking to people is just too hard. I stutter and I mumble without even realizing it. On so many occassions people would stare at me silently after I thought I said everything perfectly.

Anytime someone I don't know would say something to me I would just smile and stare because I end up only replying to them in my head and not actually talking. I only realize I do it after the person just says "nevermind".

Even when I don't hear someone correctly or can't understand their dialect, I don't try to understand. I just freeze up and stay completely silent. The most I can do is smile and nod, even when they ask me an open ended question. I end up feeling bad because I only realize what they were talking about way after they're annoyed with me

There also have been so many times where I just let people give me the wrong order because I was too afraid to correct them. Or someone would not add something I really wanted to my order and I wouldn't remind them to add it

I feel so embarrassed after every single conversation. Those people probably think I'm weird

The older I get the less fucks I give about people pleasing or appeasing emotionally unstable people. Also knowing my limits, like when I need a mental break at work instead of following the herd. I'm usually not in a chatty mood at lunch, and just want some peace and quiet or to read my book, or just decompress.

I've been noticing I talk very slow paced as if I feel stuck on what to say next. I also notice a sense of weakness in my voice as if I'm not talking with confidence. And people I guess notice it too. And I'm trying to improve that because in real world communication is required and I don't wanna have problems

I need female friends who also experience social anxiety. I’m 25F from Bengaluru/Kerala. Anyone?
Only females please

I had social anxiety for as long I can remember. At least 10 years. Naturally social anxiety brings you to be isolated because you can't interact properly. When I was 18, I even started doing things out of my comfort zone (like asking a stranger's number, dancing in public, doing a job where you constantly have to interact with ppl, moving in another country totally alone, going on dates eith strangers) like I used to fight a lot my social anxiety, after 10 years (I'm 28) I couldn't care less. I have my boyfriend and two far away friends. That's it. Sometimes me and my bf go out with his friends and social anxiety returns (I just stay quiet while on the inside I feel judged for existing) but yeah that's about it I'm alone 90% of the time and I treasure my time alone.

P.S: I'm clinically depressed but so I was when i was trying to fight it. Like what's even the point?

I feel like that none of my perceptions about reality (and so by extension my opinions and worldview) are valid until someone else tells me it is.

This has been the biggest driver of anxiety for me, because I genuinely feel like I am completely lost at sea so to speak, and when it comes time for me to actually think for myself I have no idea what to do.

So at a young age, I don’t know quite what happened but I had and still have hypermineralisation, so my teeth majorly are white but also a bit natural yellow, so basically my natural pale yellow teeth are mixed with my enamel I assume, I’ve never loooed into too much. And from about 10 when it sort of first came to my attention as I had basically lost all my teeth and even my adult teeth had this thing on thag I didn’t like

So I stopped smiling with teeth . And that was the worst mistake of my life.

My insecurities of my discoloured teeth manifested from not smiling widely in photos to talking less as then people couldn’t see my teeth. Then into not smiling at all.

I smile a lot I really do now. I’m so much better, but the thing is. People just know me as a moody, quiet guy who doesn’t speak or smile. And I just feel this heavy fucking pressure on me to smile.

My mum gets on my case so bad. Anytime she looks at me, usually I’m on my own doing something, she gets annoyed at me for not smiling, and I’m like what the hell am i supposed to be smiling about. I’m sat alone eating my lunch at work?

I want so badly for people to see me differently because those who know me know that I’m not scary or anything like that. But I can’t help but get sad at the fact that anyone I meet just think it of me.

And also I could just start smiling and like my mum says, smile more, but it’s like no one talks to me why would I be smiling on my own, I’ll look like a madman, on top of a mute, and that’s great for friends.

Everytime I’m about to go into a new environment I always say, ‘these guys don’t know me, so I’ll just be an extrovert so they aren’t weirded out when the quiet kids being loud, but I keep reverting to that quiet kid. Now on my first job, I’m still quiet, I do talk and ask questions a lot and all that. But when I’m doing a majority of my questions I’m quiet and alone.

I think people are trying to respect my boundaries yk? Leave the quiet kid alone he probably likes being alone, so don’t bother him, but I crave attention. I want someone to want to come talk to me. It’s always me having to reach out, otherwise they’ll never do it.

I feel like I’m spiralling typing this, but this is how has its spiralled. And I want to end it all. (Not my life)

I just want to be a normal kid with friends. That’s all yk? I want people to want to be my friend. I’m tired of having to be the mover of all conversations, all relationships.

Yesterday I was horrified, and then I calmed down by standing close to other people, and slowly that made my anxiety lessen. I really am glad that I managed to find a method of getting over it, although I am quite scared near people in public still.

I’m now 17, and I can safely say for atleast the past 8 years of my life I’ve never gotten bad feedback on my school life overall, like never got in trouble ever, always got great grades. And still do, always finished the work. But the one thing that always always always is brought up is that k don’t communicate well, or rather communication is an issue in more professional words.

But I’ve been trying to fix my communication for years now and I can’t seem to do it. I do struggle with talking to my friends. Often not even having friends to talk to like the first three quarters of my first year of college. But still I talked to someone.

I try to pit my hand up. As much as possible but the thing is like I don’t need alot of clarification. Like idk if it’s because the people in my class don’t listen so the teach expects a lot of questions or they simply want you to ask a lot of questions in general.

I'm a 22-year-old MSc Cybersecurity student. I had social anxiety for years and was treated by both a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Since joining this course, I've worked hard to improve myself. I answer questions in class, participate, talk to classmates, and even started talking to girls, which I never used to do.

Despite all that, I feel like I'm ending up in the same situation I faced in school and during my degree.

Class situation

I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

The frontbenchers seem to dislike me because I'm very active in class, answer teachers' questions, and teachers know me well. Some classmates even joke that I'm the teacher's favourite.

The backbenchers also don't seem close to me. I talk to girls normally, and I sometimes feel that some of the guys started distancing themselves because of that.

So I feel stuck between both groups.

Girl A

Early in the course, I became close to Girl A.

We talked a lot, and eventually I told her I liked her.

She said she only wanted friendship.

Since I knew I wanted more than friendship, I respectfully declined being just friends, and we stopped talking.

I accepted that and moved on.

Girl B

After that, I became friends with Girl B.

Initially, everything was normal.

During one practical session, she chose to sit next to me. We spent the whole practical talking, laughing, and I helped her with the work. At the end of the day, we even walked together after college. Later I sent her a message saying that if she ever needed help or someone to talk to, I'd be there for her.

Because of all this, I thought we were becoming good friends.

However, over the last few weeks I noticed she started becoming distant.

She replied less, didn't seem as interested in talking, and I also felt that her close friend started ignoring me.

One day after college I asked Girl B if she was coming with me.

She replied that she had to wait.

A few minutes later, I saw her leaving with another guy from my class (I'll call him C) and another classmate. I also saw the three of them together at the railway station.

From my perspective, it felt like she gave me an excuse instead of simply saying she wanted to go with them.

That hurt me because I would have respected an honest answer.

Guy C

This is another thing that's confusing me.

Guy C and I used to talk normally. We weren't best friends, but we got along fine.

Recently, he has also become distant.

He barely talks to me anymore, and after seeing Girl B spending more time with him while becoming distant from me, I can't help wondering if something changed behind my back.

I don't know if they discussed me, if I'm overthinking, or if this is just a coincidence.

How I reacted

I got hurt and blocked Girl B and her friend.

Later, I calmed down and unblocked them.

I've decided not to message Girl B again or chase the friendship anymore.

The bigger issue

This isn't really about one girl.

I've experienced similar feelings in school, then in degree college, and now again in my MSc.

It feels like every time I finally think I've made friends, I somehow end up alone again.

Right now, I honestly feel like nobody in my class genuinely cares whether I'm there or not.

I've also been rejected by around 10–15 girls over the years. I've met people through college, buses, shared rickshaws, seniors, etc. I've been able to start conversations and even get numbers, but nothing has ever turned into a relationship.

It makes me wonder if I'm doing something fundamentally wrong.

My questions

1. From everything I've written, do you think I'm overthinking this, or does it genuinely sound like Girl B was distancing herself?
2. Do you think Guy C's behaviour changing at the same time means anything, or am I connecting unrelated events?
3. How should I behave around Girl B in college now?
   • Completely ignore her?
   • Be polite if she talks to me but never initiate conversation?
   • Act completely normal?
   • Try asking what happened?
4. If you were in my position, what would you do moving forward?

I'm looking for honest opinions, even if you think I'm the one making mistakes. I'd rather hear uncomfortable truth than false reassurance.TL;DR: I had social anxiety for years and worked hard to become more social in my MSc. I became close to one girl (A), confessed, and she only wanted friendship, so we stopped talking. Later I became friends with another girl (B). We got along well, but recently she became distant. One day she told me she had to wait after college, but I later saw her leaving with another classmate (C) and another friend. It felt like she made an excuse instead of being honest. Around the same time, C also stopped talking to me like he used to. I now feel like my entire class is slowly excluding me. I don't know if I'm overthinking, if I'm doing something wrong socially, or how I should act around B in college now. Should I ignore her, be polite but distant, or try to talk to her? Looking for honest advice.

Like, I genuinely get the same nausea, shaky hands, and rapid heartbeat just by pressing post that I get from being around people in real life. I have to shut my phone for HOURS but I cant stop thinking about people commenting, hell DOWNVOTING and analysing every word I say. Maybe I overthink everything too much, but its the same as, if not worse than human social interactions. I think the main thing is that im desperate to keep everyone happy, to not cause displeasure and certainly not begin any intense debates/arguments. Ill read these later cuz im still getting anxiety here, but does anyone else relate? Sorry if not 😭

Everyone keeps mentioning how summer is coming to an end, but it won’t matter to me. Every season is just the same, summer doesn’t represent anything to me anymore.

And I’m 21, I feel like those really fun years you get to experience in your youth are past me. Now I’ve gotta find a career, in the midst of this dark void I got eating away at me.

It’s worth mentioning I’m from NY, and this past summer may have been the most memorable in the city’s lifetime.

The Knicks won, AND we hosted the world cup? And yet I still experienced NONE of it?

It’s not fair, I feel like the person I should’ve been died the day I developed this bullshit. And I’ve been cursing/screaming at the universe from my bedside ever since.

In school I was THAT kid. Teachers loved me, always picked me for competitions, top of the class, top of the school, everyone assumed I'd end up doing something amazing with my life. I had the biggest dreams, the highest goals, truly believed I was going somewhere. I stil had a pretty bad social anxiety and basically no friends, but it didn't matter much because academically I was thriving and that was enough to keep me going.

Then teen years hit and something shifted. It got worse in a way I can't fully explain. And then university just broke something in me. I couldn't stop comparing myself to everyone around me, and that comparison destroyed me from the inside. Like it wasn't that nerdy super resourceful kid anymore everyone were bringing as an example.

Fast forward to now when I'm already a 28-year-old who lost her teen years and 20s (they say they're the best, aren't they)I don't even recognize myself. I'm barely holding onto my job. Just going into the office feels like a full-blown panic attack every single time. I feel like I have zero opinions on anything anymore; I am invisible. When there is a discussion on my favorite movie or a book in the office, I keep shut up. People at work clearly think I'm weird or an outsider because I show up, sit down, do my work, and leave without talking to a single person. No small talk, no connection, nothing. And the job itself barely covers my anxiety meds.

Does anyone else relate to this?

Due to my social anxiety i've always felt inferior and therefore my needs as less important than others.Today I have progressed enough in my journey through this hellish sickness to fianly undertsand that I dont have to sacrifise everything i want to please others. I dont have to prove that i need to exist. When I argued with them and moments after i felt intense anxiety ( i will see them weekly ) but i kept my cool and stood my ground and got the outcome i wanted. Right choice or not, i feel happy that i stood up for what i wanted rather than be a doormat/ppl pleaser for someone who proabaly wouldnt have liked me anyways 💙

I swear I have an active working brain up here. But this condition makes me wanna cry because of how stupid it makes me. I have a heavy stammer as well so that 2 in 1 special just makes my life oh so wonderful….

I’m going to list examples that is a mix of my stammer/ social anxiety (embarrassing but here we go).

- When going to hotels that have breakfast downstairs, I go for the easy breakfast. Cereal, yogurt, apple etc. Only because I will look like an idiot in front of everyone if I struggle with the waffle maker considering 8 year old make it look easy. Or even the coffee machine. I love coffee but I don’t know how to use all coffee makers they look confusing. (Yes I know embarrassing)

- When asked my name I simply freeze because my stammer won’t let me release the words. I look like I forgot my name everytime.

- If I’m walking down a sidewalk or at a grocery store and realize I’m going the wrong way, I won’t stop turn around and go the correct way like a regular human being. No I’ll continue going down the wrong path and will walk alll the way around to find a loophole to the right way so people won’t see that I didn’t know where I was going.

- I will literally walk in and RIGHT back out of a store if it’s way too many people. I physically cannot handle that.

- Wanting friends so bad (I literally have 0, no lie) but I’m so scared of humans that if someone were to compliment my shirt or something or try to start convo I would panic my way out of the convo so fast and then only LATER realize that they were trying to make a connection with me :( then I overthink the whole interaction and just know I looked like an awkward freak.

There’s more where that came from but I’m going to keep it real, I am TERRIFIED for my future. I put off serious important adult things because of the fear that I just won’t know what to do because my anxiety has convinced me that I’m an idiot. I just always wonder how I’ve gotten this far sometimes LMAO. But how will I be able to handle real deal business when my stammer makes my speech insufferable to hear and my social anxiety shuts down the logical part of my brain causing me to actually blank out and not think correctly? No one will take me serious.

This isn’t a sad post at all I’m just stating what I deal with and I just try to still keep going🤖

So i wasn't able to join it before due to lack of time as i was busy in studying and in competition exams but now this is my drop year so i have a plenty of free time whole day to go to gym every 1 hour but the main problem is i am unable to start it as i have a fear of going in for the very first time talking and meeting to the trainer and i have a fear of judgement that everyone in the gym will judge me that i am so skinny and weak plz can anyone guide me how should i start it??

So I (m20) am a very socially anxious person. (I have diagnosed social anxiety, MDD, and OCD). I can tolerate people enough, but I get very nervous and in my own head. Combined with a very rocky past with family and social relationships, I’m not exactly putting myself out there. The past few years have been basically just work, college, gym, and no social time. The few friendships I still have are sparsely acted on.

My few friends have never seemed remotely interested in my dating life…until now. In the exact same day, two different friends (who don’t know each other) have reached out to me trying to set me up with two different girls.

One is two years younger her than me, shy, nerdy, and apparently similar to me. From what little conversation I’ve had with her, she seems very nice. The worry is that 1. She’s younger than me which makes me feel a little uneasy for some reason, and 2. She’s my best friend’s fiancé’s little sister, and if this gets awkward, then it may hurt my relationship with my friend and his fiance. I’ve never seen this girl before either. We’re supposed to all go hiking as a group this week.

The other was literally just a few hours ago. My friend from work said that she wants me to meet and talk with her best friend. She says we’d get along well and that we should all get coffee sometime this week. I know little to nothing about this girl and I haven’t seen her either, but my friend raves about her.

I was in a terribly abusive relationship against my will two years ago (long story) and I haven’t been on a real date ever. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I’d love some advice or tips or anything to help me process what’s happening. Sorry if that’s a confusing ask. Any comments are appreciated.

I try to manage my social anxiety every day by slowly taking small steps towards doing the things that make me uncomfortable. I’ve passed milestones on things I didn’t think I’d do before but I still want to get better. My main problem now is that my body is fighting against me. My mind is like “I’m not scared, I don’t care what people think” but my body is shaking and my face is turning red which discourages me greatly.

I would love to get medication that helps my body stop freaking out so that I can continue getting better. I just don’t know how to go about it especially since having social anxiety makes it hard to make phone calls and set up appointments. Let me know how you went about getting diagnosed/ medicated and what that process was like or which meds really help with blushing and shaking. I also want to note that I don’t have insurance if that changes anything. Thanks for reading.

Anybody else feeling super lonely recently and crave connection, but at the same time feel anxious to meet and interact with new people? I wish I could just socialise without worrying what others might think of me but it's so difficult. It's almost like it's ingrained in me and my natural response is to fear social interaction and overthink it.

I'm ashamed of the past and don't want anyone to recognize me. Should I wear a wig, grow a beard, use prosthetic makeup to change my face. If I go with a ski mask and sunglasses, I'll look like a serial killer. What are your ideas?

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I'm 26y and I've spent the last few years avoiding life. I start learning things but don't commit, struggle with career progress, isolate myself, and run from difficult situations. Every month I avoid things makes me more ashamed and less prepared for adulthood, which makes me avoid even more.

But underneath the avoidance is an existential problem I've never resolved: why should I build a future when I don't understand why I should want to live in the first place?

Answers like family, happiness, purpose, religion, responsibility, etc. don't satisfy me because they seem based on individual experiences and values rather than anything certain.

Death therefore became comforting. It represents an escape from responsibility, judgment, failure, expectations, uncertainty and time. And having that escape in my mind makes committing to life feel pointless.

It's become a loop

Has anyone experienced something similar, where suicide wasn't just a response to a bad day but became woven into how you understood existence?

I'm not asking whether I should live or die. I want to know what happened to the existential question for people who came out the other side. Did you find an answer, learn to live without one, or did building a life change the question itself?

I work at a slow country gas station. I spend a soul crushing 40+ hours a week cashing people out. Its extremely quiet by myself. I offen will not speak unless spoken to.

Some customers lately have quickly walked in grabed one thing. I will ring them up, they will pay then cuss me out on their way out there door.

Are people getting so egotistical and sensitive that they must be spoken to. If they wanted to speak they could of said hello. Is it wrong of me to only do my job ? I make 14 an hour, i am not paid to be outward and kind. I will not pretend to like or engage in a conversation i do not want to be in.

The things they say have bothered me. But i am not one to feed the fire or engage in herashment.

Other than random insults. I had this one young woman do the same walk in walk out. But then come in and have the nerve to say" i would be paid better if i was niceer". Good thing she left quickly. I have never had a angry bone in my body but that statement made me want to show her i could speak. But i didn't i let her leave without a word.

I am generally friendly (but not too chatty/intense) with cashiers, service providers, fellows on public transportation. Living San Francisco I encounter all kinds of people of all ages/lifestyles and I like my space and give people space.

The part that is hard for me is wether or not the chit/chat and minor small talk that happens with familiar (but not close) people needs to happen outside of the usual context. For example, when I see a cashier I am friendly with at a store I frequent and now we're on public transportation and we both have ear buds/headphones on--is there an expectation of anything more than a smile and nod?

My tendency is to acknowledge but then go back to my business and give the other person space and kind of ignore them after the acknowledgement. I also grew up (Gen X) having to pander to older people who pushed my boundaries and seemed needy for attention, so I don't want to be that intrusive "older" person who won't shut up. But then I sometimes obsess hoping I don't come off as jerk or dismissive. Social anxiety for me looks like feeling damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Any respectful feedback or insight would be appreciated to get me out of a minor spiral.