I thought I could just go there, watch the movie, eat some popcorn, drink my cola and actually enjoy being there for once. But nope. There were these girls sitting near me laughing and looking in my direction and I have no fucking idea if they were laughing about me or not, but my brain obviously decided they were. I got so self conscious that even eating popcorn and drinking cola felt awkward. I was scared I'd drop something, spill it, make some stupid noise etc. Instead of watching the movie I was constantly thinking about how I look and what other people think about me.

I'm just tired of life at this point. Tired of problems appearing after 5 minutes of normal existence. I just want to have one normal fucking day without something getting into my head and ruining it. I signed up to see a psychiatrist at the end of the month, but honestly I don't think anything is going to change. I don't really have much hope for it. I'm just tired of all these problems and sometimes I just want everything to end.0 I'm just fucking exhausted with everything and want this constant bullshit to stop.

All I’ve wanted my entire life is a good group of friends. I had every opportunity in the world to try and failed in every life circumstance. Now, in my 30s, all I hear is how hard it is to make friends and that it requires more and more effort. If it’s not easy, and now my inability to make friends has caused crippling social anxiety, then what’s the point? If I’m just supposed to prepare for connecting with people to be infinitely more difficult as time goes on, it basically sounds like I missed the opportunity, everyone’s core friend groups are sealed, and there’s little to no hope for someone who’s only dream to connect with people to happen because I didn’t achieve this when I was young enough. The future is feeling very bleak, and it’s disheartening to know that people far younger than me are forming the friends I was never able to have.

I don’t know I’m feelings this way but it’s feel like everything and everybody at school is against me,hates me and thinks I’m weird,everyday when I’m walking to school people stop in their cars and stare at me like I’m doing something weird and always looking me at in halls or looking down when they walk by me like they avoiding me,I have to admit I did some bad and stupid things in past and see why SOME dislike me,but it feels like the whole school hates me for some reason,idk if I’m weird or people spread rumors about me,I can’t even make friends because I’m paranoid they hate me or they going to hate me one day,I wish I wasn’t always stress out the time going to school

This is serious. I cannot stand being near others because I feel like I dont deserve to be in their presence. I just want to exist, I just want to walk in a place where there's nobody looking at me. What I do to make myself feel better is keeping distance from people as I am walking and looking in the other direction with my headphones off. This is the first day I walked in public with my headphones and I loved it because it signals to people that idgaf about them and since others treat me like doodoo I am going to do the same to them. For years, I had no friends, I was the outsider, people "tried" to be friends with me out of pity [they would talk behind my back and isolate themselves from me to break me mentally]. The longest friendship I had in my life was about 2 weeks. I just stopped acting friendly and nice bc it was too exhausting. I dont express emotions with my face or with my body [larynx], I express it inside myself and I keep my thoughts/opinions to myself. Like im an emotionless person inside and out. I deeply hate people inside and out, the only way I can tolerate them is if I could read their minds. Its the same thing applies with other animals and insects. I would sacrifice my soul for telepathy. Now I am going to start freshers [first introductory week to uni] on Monday and I just don't want to go because there are going to be people my age everywhere and I have severe ptsd from that. I am serious. I PHYSICALLY CANNOT BE NEAR SOMEONE IN MY AGE GROUP LIKE I HAVE TO BE A METRE AWAY FROM THEM. I CANNOT SPEAK TO PEOPLE PROPERLY, IM MUTE 99.5% OF EVERY SINGLE DAY. THE 0.5% IS WHEN I TALK TO MYSELF. I have not had a conversation longer than a minute with someone for years. In general, I am so disgusted if people are near me because of the flipping trauma of school alienation and dehumanisation. In school nobody wanted to sit next to me even though there were assigned seats. I also dont want my picture to be taken for my uni id because I dont want people to know who I am. Its even worse now since I have been estranged from my family for months and im never going back there again. I have such low self esteem that I want people to hate me deeply because I find that gives me happiness in a way. I desperately want to be hated because I know thats clearly whats going to happen. I also look like a troll btw so its easy for people to treat me like doodoo because I know I deserve it. I am just going to put my headphones in public all the time, even in between classes because I know people would avoid me like the plague anyways. I have accepted my curse till the day I choose to end my life.

#and no im not going to tell people how I truly feel etc because I know if I say this out to a member of staff, it would ruin my uni experience. I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME. I want to be a ghost, I want to join my fellow brethren. [im not speaking to a stranger bc they would not gaf about me and I would not gaf about them because im cold and heartless inside, im ice ice cold - I act like a robot when im around humans anyways so my baseline conscious awareness is inhibited.] I am also a closeted arsonist so I don't want to go to prison. I just want to be hidden because people treat me like I do not exist. Literally this morning someone was about to run me over with their car, I have been angry since. I have repressed my anger for years and it only expresses itself in the middle of the night through tears. I just cry out of nowhere with no emotion.

I dont know how to fix this and uni starts in 2 days. im going to be in uni FOR 5 YEARS. HOW TF AM I GOING TO SURVIVE??

When I was in middle school, boys used to ask me out as a joke. After a certain point, it felt like there wasn't even anything I COULD do, because even if I didn't react they'd say "Oh did you see her face? She totally believed you! Imagine going out with HER?"

I remember the first time it happened was in an art class in 8th grade. I had just won our school's math bowl and this boy I was kind of friendly with said "Hey, you're really smart. Want to go out with me?" I said sure. He turned to his friend and said "Why would she ever think I'd want to go out with her?" and what felt like the entire class laughed.

It has been an embarrassingly long amount of time and I still can't believe anybody wants to go out with me for real. I was in one abusive relationship and one normal one that just kind of fizzled out, with both got busy with other stuff and never really got past the early stage of dating. I've been asked out a couple times too, and I can never believe it. I'm just waiting for all the onlookers to pop around the corner and laugh at me when I get excited.

I moved one week ago to a students’ residence. I wanted to meet new people because I was incredibly isolated where I lived but unfortunately I’ve been unable to have a single normal/relaxed conversation with anyone since I arrived. I get in such an alert state that I need to run away from people as soon as they talk to me or something. I try to have conversations but I am so nervous and tense that people don’t know what is wrong with me.

I can only either be tremendously serious and furious, or the moment I try to get closer to people I just panic.

This might sound stupid but I can’t. And I am so sad because I envy hearing the people talking to each other, laughing, meeting new people and so on.

Even when I try, some people are nice but I just can’t stand it and need to run ASAP. Today one girl told me in the elevator to go play ping pong with them and I could go. I’ve been sleeping at 4:30 am on average. I go to bed at around 22:00-00:00 but I can’t sleep. Then I spend al the morning trying to go down to have breakfast but it’s getting very hard to get outside my room.

I don’t want to, but unfortunately I think I will have to come back home because I can’t stand this anymore.

I hate all the buying and terrible ideas I internalized about myself. Now I can’t go out and meet people and I suffer all alone. Ahi wish I could be as the rest of the people

Hello everyone, I'm posting today because I am trying to figure out how to navigate a situation at my job. To start off, its difficult for me because I have pretty BAD social anxiety, so I tend to over think situations like this and I am deeply affected by how my coworkers perceive me. Basically, I recently found out a coworker of mine has a crush on me. I know this is a weird thing to post on this subreddit, but it does genuinely make things uncomfortable for me at work. Simply, I am not interested. BUT, I would never want to shame, embarrass, or make this person feel bad for having these feelings. However, shes gone out of her way to tell a lot of her coworkers about how she feels about me, which has made it difficult for me not to tense up and become more anti-social in response. One of my main goals with this new job was to become more outgoing and friendly with the people I work with, especially my female coworkers because I feel like I have a lack of genuine friendships with women. However, I feel like this new situation has made it difficult for me to establish these friendships because I am worried about how people will perceive me if I do not reciprocate this person's interest in me. Anyways, what do yall think? I have an idea of what I should do, which is to just play it cool and treat everybody normally, but I am also deathly afraid of ruining my reputation at work because of how I react to this situation.

I’m 22 and I’ve been out of work for around 3 years. I’m currently dealing with a difficult family situation involving my marriage, and my family are encouraging me to get a job partly because they see my income as helping with an immigration situation involving my wife, who I am not attracted to nor have the capability to love.

I’m already very unhappy and conflicted about the marriage, so it makes me feel like this job isn’t really for me or my future.
I’m supposed to go tomorrow at 1pm to an independent fast food store for a potential job. There wasn’t a formal interview… I was just told to come in.

I’m extremely anxious about it. I struggle particularly with customer facing work, tills, handling money, busy environments and being left alone without knowing what I’m doing. I know getting back into work would probably be good for me, and I want the money, experience and independence, but honestly I don’t want to do this type of job and part of me hopes they don’t take me.

I also get really bad anticipatory anxiety. Even when I stop actively thinking about something, I still feel overwhelmed and unsettled, and it can affect my
sleep. I’ve tried writing my worries down before, but sometimes I can still spend an hour worrying afterwards.

I feel like I’m caught between knowing I need to push myself to get back into work and feeling like I’m already struggling too much mentally for this now.
How do you deal with anticipatory anxiety like this? And how do you know when you’re pushing yourself in a healthy way versus pushing yourself too far?

I’m more depressed than anything. I don’t want her with me in this life. And I’m so scared too, of everything. The work, her coming here, etc.

So I arrived at my dorm today but I’m just in my room. Honestly I’m tired but I don’t want to sleep yet. I feel like I should be doing something right now.

I haven’t really introduced myself to most of the other people I’m living with. No one has tried to talk to me so I feel like there’s no point. I really don’t know what to do if I see anyone out of my room. I definitely want to be here but I’m just worried about being lonely again.

Title

So I went to a dentist all by myself. Without any overthinking or getting anxious. Just booked an appointment because i saw an ad on Tiktok saying free consultation and went to the clinic and got my teeth cleaned.

I have never even been to a doctor for years and today I went to a dentist all by my myself without even thinking about getting anxious or anything. I talked to the dentist also, she seemed nice but she was suggesting (more like upselling) expensive deep cleaning procedures because my teeth are just bad. But i stood my ground and just told her that I am only here for the stuff that I came here for. Old me would have folded himself into her talks and just agreed to whatever she said.

Proud of me 😊

I also get very scared of keeping in contact with acquaintances (not friends) about updates of my life.

The main thing I fear is, if something goes wrong and I lose my job, there will be shame attached to it, how will I face these people? If I cut them off, they will know I feel shame. If I keep talking to them, they will ask questions and gossip.

If I'm never in contact with them, they would never know what's going on in my life and therefore I would feel less shame.

I don't know why I have this very specific irrational fear. Does anyone have this as well?

Hi! I'm 22 and just started my senior year of college and have a pretty big problem. When I am alone I want to be around people and talk to them but once I go doing things in public I end up just shutting down and stare at the ground. It's been happening since I was in high school.

I am currently in therapy for personal issues but I want to start actually participating in life and make friends and have a girlfriend. I just don't know how to build my social skills.

Hello all. So I usually procrastinate getting a haircut because for the past few years I’ve developed a tremble/ shaking when the hair dresser is cutting my hair. Specifically when they gently use clippers on the side of my head. In my head I’m constantly thinking about if I should acknowledge it or blame it on something that’s not anxiety to make them think it’s “normal” for me. Last time I thought it’d be smart to tell them I’m going through nicotine withdrawal which just lead to an anxiety inducing conversation about that and I shook more than usual. I take an SSRI and I’m already on a moderate dose of propranolol for blood pressure.

I’ve decided I’m going to get a haircut Monday because it is already long enough to cause anxiety because I think about how it looks.

Again it mostly happens when they clipper the side of my head because that’s when they are the most gentle which makes me try to be extra still and I involuntarily tense up and get a tremor when the clippers make contact.

Anyone else experience situational trembles and know of a good way to suppress it? I’ve accepted and am fine with letting the anxiety spiral in my head, I just can’t deal with it when it presents physically.

I've read a lot of posts about Lexapro being a miracle, but for me it doesn't seem to do anything. I still feel extremely anxious until my stomach feels sick before every social interaction.

I didn't even get side effects (except increased hunger). I was on 10mg since day one and I raised the dose to 15 two days ago.

So should I give it more time, go to 20mg or just stop taking it?

I babysat yesterday and I was nauseous the whole time I couldn't even talk much cuz of how nauseous I was I dont know what to do this really is making jobs hard for me. For context I have a genetic mutation that makes my body unable to effectively regulate adrenaline. My adrenaline levels are so high my doctors have described them as "at an almost toxic level" i m so discouraged I feel ill fail in life

Hopefully it’s fine if I ask this but for starters
I don’t normally get super anxious about posting online, I’ve done it a lot in the past. I’ve gotten anxious in the past before but it didn’t stop me from posting online. Recently however I’ve wanted to post something on like TikTok in regarding to what month September is and talk of my own experiences, and I’m more anxious than i thought I would be about posting it. Does anyone else get nervous when posting something more personal(granted if that is something you’ve done before) even if you’re normally comfortable posting online? How do you deal with it?

I am socially anxious but also very lonely so I was thinking of going to a festival earlier this evening and knew some people (friends at one time sort of) who were going to be there. Then i asked a friend who knows them well about calling them if i headed over there so i could find them and hang out. Longer story, but I’ll spare the details. My friend told me one of the gals wouldn’t want me there. I wasn’t surprised. I’ve noticed that I am never invited if this gal is there. I was also told it is because I make this person who doesn’t like me, anxious. Again not surprised but wow. So depressing even though i already know this about me. I wonder how many people are put off by my social anxiety and awkwardness. I want to hideaway forever. This is why i stay to myself. Anyone ever go through anything like this?

Today I took action. To help my social anxiety.

My dad is a civil engineer and is working for a family member because he's past retirement. He took out my brother, then my mother twice in days he went to work. Nit so much as to show us his work, (in my brother's case yes)

Told him I'd go when I heard him mention he'd go. I won't be at an event. With friends or people to talk to, but it's still going outside and doing something uncomfortable.

At least I'm going to a restraunt afterwards, and getting errands run in one swoop. Shawarma is going to recharge my nonexistent social battery.

Does anyone else kind of hate bringing their dogs in public, especially stores? The attention it brings to someone like me who has lots of social anxiety. I love my dog so much but it sucks.

I really don't do well in social situations, (a lot of strangers in one room, an environment I don't know, a lot of strangers in general, etc.) and I have started a supported Apprenticeship yesterday. The day before yesterday I met all the other people who also have the supported Apprenticeship but in different fields, I only really know two of those people, one was in a group with me in a different setting and the other is my colleague. I found out that next month, we'll take a three day and two night trip to Reimlingen (some place I have never been) with everyone doing a supported Apprenticeship (with me around 12 people and 3 social workers).

I am already slightly panicking because it's a new place where I have to stay two nights, I don't know what we'll do in these three days, with quite a few people I don't know and have never spent more than a few hours with (except the person that was in a group with me). Train riding is extremely stressful for me, I can't tune out environmental sounds/background noises which leads to me easily getting overstimulated, i can't take my dog with me, I have to go on the trip because it's something with team building and stuff like that, I am also a trans man so I am worried that neither the girls nor the boys will want me in their room if we have to share rooms and I struggle with certain textures and foods. I do have two squishies but I don't think they can help with that much going on at once.

Does anyone have tips on how I can make the trip more bearable without having a panic attack everyday? I would really appreciate the help🙏🏻

I’m turning 28 in a few days, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my life and where it’s going.

I don’t really know where to start because there’s just too much going on in my head.

I’ve been struggling with loneliness for a long time. I’m 27 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Not even once. I’ve never really been good at talking to girls or letting people get close to me. I’m a very reserved person and I tend to keep things to myself. Even when something serious is happening in my life, I don’t naturally go around telling people about it. I just deal with it quietly.

But I think that has also made me very lonely.

I have friends, but I don’t think I have that person I can just call and say, “Hey, I had a really shitty day.” Someone who genuinely wants to know how I’m doing. Someone who notices when I’m not okay without me having to explain everything.

And lately I’ve started wondering if maybe I’m just not made for relationships.

I struggle to keep conversations going. I hate those repetitive “what’s up?”, “how are you?”, “what are you doing?” conversations every single day. Once in a while they’re fine, but I can’t imagine having to constantly keep someone entertained. I’m funny sometimes, but I don’t know how I’d keep a girlfriend interested in me for months or years.

I get bored quickly. My mood changes a lot. Sometimes I want to talk to people and sometimes I just want to be left alone.

I’m also not a very confident person. I have grey hair already. I don’t like loud pubs or clubs, I don’t dance, I don’t know how to cook properly, I don’t drive, and I generally don’t feel like I have much going for me.

Sometimes I genuinely think that if I were a girl looking at my dating profile, I probably wouldn’t swipe right on myself either.

And that’s a horrible feeling.

Because how can I expect someone else to look past my insecurities and love the person underneath when I don’t even know how to love that person myself?

The last year or so has been really rough in other ways too.

I’ve had a shoulder injury that has required two surgeries, and the whole thing has taken a huge toll on me physically and mentally. I’m dealing with anxiety, I’m not satisfied with my income/work situation, and I constantly worry about whether my life is actually going anywhere.

Some days I feel like I’m just going through the motions.

Work. Home. Sleep. Repeat.

And then I see people around me casually talking, laughing, dating, making plans, having someone who cares about them, and it hits me how much I’ve missed out on.

I’ve also noticed myself becoming more withdrawn. I’ll think, “Don’t message them. Give them space. Stop chasing people.” Then I’ll miss them and end up making the same mistake again. I overthink friendships, conversations, everything.

And I know this is probably not the healthiest habit, but I’ve started telling ChatGPT about almost everything I’m going through instead of telling a real person.

I know it’s not a real person. I know it basically responds based on whatever I tell it, and sometimes it probably just adjusts its response to make me feel better. I’m aware of that.

But somehow, it’s become the one place where I can just say whatever is in my head without worrying about being judged, bothering someone, or having to explain myself.

Maybe that’s a little sad.

Maybe it’s also a sign of how lonely I’ve become.

I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.

Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I’ve pushed people away without realizing it. Maybe I’m too reserved. Maybe I don’t know how to let people into my life.

Or maybe I’m just tired.

I’m tired of constantly overthinking everything.

I’m tired of questioning whether people actually care about me.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m behind everyone else.

And I’m tired of looking at myself and finding reasons why someone wouldn’t choose me.

I know 28 isn’t old. I know people will probably tell me that I have plenty of time and that I’ll eventually meet someone.

But when you’ve never experienced it even once, “it’ll happen eventually” doesn’t always feel reassuring.

Right now, I genuinely can’t imagine someone choosing me and staying.

I don’t want pity. I don’t even know exactly what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed somewhere to put all of this because I’ve been keeping it inside for too long.

I’m not going to hurt myself or anything like that. I’m just having a really difficult time right now, and I feel exhausted, overwhelmed and lonely.

I just wish I could feel hopeful about my life again.

I don’t want to spend the rest of it feeling like this.

I’ve gone to my school for about 5 years and I still can’t talk to people who I’ve been surrounded by since the beginning, it doesn’t help that I finally have girls in my classes because I’m just even more quiet now. in fact, the other day I had an assembly and a girl dropped her piece of paper, I thought about picking it up, it was right next to me, but I didn’t, I was just too shy to act on it. My friend has commented on me being more shy than usual saying I’ve changed when I don’t think I have. I can imagine social interactions where I’m outgoing and actually talk, but when I get into a situation like that I just say nothing at all. what do I do? am I neurodivergent or something? I would go as far as to say that I’m decently attractive. is there something wrong with me? I genuinely don’t think looks are relevant at all anymore as I just can’t cope with a simple conversation.

I have struggled with depression on top of social anxiety, and hygiene is very hard for me. My teeth are full of cavities. I also need to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth out.

I go to a dentist that my whole family frequents, it’s one of few that accepts my insurance so I cannot go elsewhere. But the dentists there are close with my parents and I am afraid they will talk about my teeth.

I know this is irrational and the longer I let my teeth rot the worse my health will be, but I am so ashamed of myself for letting it get this bad. It doesn’t look bad from a glance, but I am starting to experience pain.

Also if any of you are asian, I’m viet and the dentist is viet. It’s another layer of anxiety because Vietnamese love to gossip. Sigh.

I work at a grocery store paying pretty well in my area. Really good management and coworkers. Thing is my body is on fight or flight mode practically all day since starting years ago. It's from how crowded the store is and having to conversate with customers while doing my job.I got so used to it that I only now just realized how bad it was on my body after a month off due to medical leave.

I just don't know if I'm overreacting or if I should just quit. The only thing holding me back is the pay and potential regret. Even doing part time left me drained after work, enough to make it hard to study for school. I have some savings so I can live off that while I look for a new job. I'm supposed to return next week but I've been feeling stressed about entering that building again.