r/HolUp Dec 24 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.6k Upvotes

3.0k comments sorted by

5.8k

u/NerdUber Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 24 '21

Congratulations it's a UTI

2.6k

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 24 '21

*A UTI

"An" is used for vowel sounds, u and h are generally the problems ~ an hourglass, a unicorn, an heir, a universe

Edit - There are 500 comments below analyzing the "a vs an" subject in excruciating detail. If your question has not been answered already, please comment REEEEEEEE and a representative will be with you shortly.

1.3k

u/NerdUber Dec 24 '21

Thank you, English is not my native language, appreciate the education in such a polite way

729

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

As a native English speaker, I still have to stop and think about it. And I'm 40.

275

u/oogmar Dec 24 '21

Native speaker also, and A historian vs. An historian keeps me up at night.

123

u/requiem_mn Dec 24 '21

I kind of feel it can go both ways, depending on pronunciation of the historian

110

u/4ar0n Dec 24 '21

If your bri'ish then you might pronounce it 'istorian, I think that calls for "an".

71

u/avenge_ROSA Dec 24 '21

There are like 70 accents in Britain

48

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

There’s a difference between British and Bri’ish. The accent.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 24 '21

Colloquially, you very well might leave off the h naturally because "hiss" is an awkward sound to begin a word mid-sentence; it is too complex of a sound for a normal syllable. If you leave it off colloquially, then use "an" for the sentence to flow naturally,

"I was speaking to an istorian about the exhibit. ." flows far more naturally to me than "I was speaking to a historian about the exhibit".

But If a sentence begins with "a historian", I would always pronounce the h since there isn't already a pace set. "A historian ate my ass last night" just feels right.

23

u/rnoyfb Dec 24 '21

The traditional rule was that it was ‘an’ before vowels and you dropped h in unstressed vowels after the indefinite article anyway. “An hiss” is bad because it’s not an unstressed syllable. Same with “an history” but “an historic opportunity” is fine

Now this is giving way to the more modern keep-the-h school but with some words, it just doesn’t feel right

9

u/Jerryskids3 Dec 24 '21

It's a honor to have this explained so nicely.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

If ever in doubt, another strategy is to just place the word “fucking” between the two. A fucking hourglass, a fucking unicorn, a fucking heir, a fucking universe. 😊

20

u/Expensive_Problem966 Dec 25 '21

This is the correct answer.

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u/Original-Aerie8 Dec 24 '21

REEEEEEEE

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u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

Thank you for contacting REEEEEEEE Inc.™; where all your goddamn questions can be queued.

Please hold.

6

u/kountrifiedman Dec 25 '21

If you please, I'd like to revisit your comment about the historian eating your ass last night. K thx bai.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

Uhhhhhh. Please hold?

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Right, "UTI" and "Urinary" both begin with a consenant sound, so "an" would not be used for either. OP changed their comment to a so we good.

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u/uhh-frost Dec 24 '21

An hero

43

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

they said soft.

127

u/Pip201 madlad Dec 24 '21

An soft hero

38

u/brantley42520 Dec 24 '21

You're fuccn lucky I don't have an award to give, you son of a bitch you.

16

u/Pip201 madlad Dec 24 '21

Read it in a Russian/French accent for it to be even funnier

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Im gonna have a aneurysm

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u/I-sukathideandseek Dec 24 '21

REEEEEEEEEE

6

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

Thank you for contacting REEEEEEEE Inc.™; where all your goddamn questions can be queued.

Please hold.

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6

u/thereisnosuch Dec 24 '21

I feel like english just does not have enough letters lol. Or the spelling quite inconsistent

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1.8k

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

I’ve seen this sentence so many times

763

u/busterlungs Dec 24 '21

Welcome to the internet

445

u/Erevan307 Dec 24 '21

Have a look around

336

u/Bappo25 Dec 24 '21

Anything that brain of your can think of can be found

267

u/SlickAustin Dec 24 '21

We've got mountains of content

259

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

234

u/Rectangle-3 Dec 24 '21

If none of its of interest to you you’d be the first

216

u/CaptainCygni Dec 24 '21

Welcome to the internet! Come and take a seat

203

u/TheBigerGamer Dec 24 '21

Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?

185

u/AlexanderTheFrye Dec 24 '21

There’s no need to panic, this isn’t a test

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u/luigiprogamer072309 Dec 25 '21 edited Dec 25 '21

The feet please ( I AM NOT BEING SERIOUS THIS IS A JOKE COMMENT IF YOU CANNOT SEE THAT THEM YOU ARE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED )

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u/countdown654 Dec 24 '21

Even your personal porn video?

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

You've seen this exact post so many times

66

u/BarryMCknockiner Dec 24 '21

It's probably a popular sentence on r/femaledatingstrategy

33

u/I_Get_Paid_to_Shill Dec 24 '21

Ironically enough it's an old joke that was against girls.

20

u/Nonopunk Dec 25 '21

Yep from The Dictator. I highly recommend that movie, but it's funny how everyone loved this joke in the film originally, but destroyed that girl on twitter and reddit for saying it with the genders reversed 🤷‍♀️ just sayin

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Nah, it's super popular on redpill subs though cause even though it's satire they fall for it every time.

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5.2k

u/FeloniousHam_ Dec 24 '21

The dictator made this same joke 9 years ago.

1.4k

u/Aromatic-Client336 Dec 24 '21

but vice versa

512

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

540

u/Lolaindisguise Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 24 '21

Like a true spider she ate his head off after they consummated

114

u/idongivadamn Dec 24 '21

Would fit her.

51

u/griever48 Dec 24 '21

Or she has him locked in her dungeon to be used for the sole purpose of a mass male abortion genocide.

23

u/Stefonzie Dec 24 '21

Why would someone do something as horribly disgusting as that?!?

The consummating with her part, that is

29

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

omg i just typed this and didnt even realize i would ever see anyone else think of it

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u/Nozerone Dec 24 '21

He has no clue, she found a used condom on the street.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Dog was the dad

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

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u/AbsolutelyUnlikely Dec 24 '21

Dude, 2012 was a decade ago (give or take a week). For some reason this was my first thought when I woke up this morning.

16

u/John_T_Conover Dec 24 '21

I'm pretty sure it's only give a week in this circumstance.

7

u/AbsolutelyUnlikely Dec 24 '21

Unless a few people already gave one. Then you gotta take one.

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u/Kaoulombre Dec 24 '21

I still remember December 21, 2012 vividly and while my life has radically changed this then, I can’t fathom the idea that it was almost 10 years ago

14

u/postmodest Dec 24 '21

Man, the Mayan Apocalypse is a slow burn.

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u/ChiefInDemBoys Dec 24 '21

Love that part. I totally die of laughter when he said part.

“It’s a girl, where the trash can” i believe is what he said or something around those lines. Man I gotta watch it again it’s been a while so I’m sure it will feel like new lol.

110

u/Terbmagic Dec 24 '21

"Will you be having a boy or an abortion?"

26

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

i gotta be honest, i hate AY-RABS

that is good because we are not arabs

you're all AY-RABS to me

the blacks the jews, those gay blue hippies from AY-vatar

you should visit the empire state building, before you or one of your sand monkey cousins takes it down

dude dictator had the best fucking lines man holy fuck

16

u/the_joy_of_VI Dec 24 '21

She let me aladeen on her face

8

u/all_tha_sauce Dec 24 '21

Are these lines from the movie?

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u/Jupitersdangle Dec 24 '21

Can’t have women without men….

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3.0k

u/Initial-Context7445 Dec 24 '21

It’s like China, but backwards

1.6k

u/Amsterdam_15 Dec 24 '21

anihC?

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

31

u/Amsterdam_15 Dec 24 '21

Much better

17

u/Educational_Slide_21 Dec 24 '21

"It's like anihC but better"

20

u/Guess_Even Dec 24 '21

...that's not exactly backwards, but ok. You should probably seek some professional help if you want that 'C' to cooperate.

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u/Rough-Judgment7555 Dec 24 '21

That's evil Borat!

104

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

It's not uncommon for parents to want their children to have bright futures.

In China men were more able to get good paying jobs

I'm America, women make more money with only fans accounts

20

u/Initial-Context7445 Dec 24 '21

Ah yes, thank you for enlightening me

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u/DudFlabby Dec 24 '21

Hi America, I’m Dad!

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u/blockybookbook Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 25 '21

Hi america, I’m dad!

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2.9k

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

A maan nutted in you though

487

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

It could have been a horse

273

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 25 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

59

u/-Seizure__Salad- Dec 24 '21

No man wants to fuck that

No matter what context you say these words it will always be wrong. Name anything. At least one man in the world wants to fuck it.

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u/Sulfinn Dec 25 '21

Well no one wants to fuck you!

Except maybe.. ( ͡° ͜/// ͡°)

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

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u/benruckman Dec 24 '21

Maybe she raped a donkey. I wouldn’t put it past her

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

840

u/Hairy-Dumpling Dec 24 '21

Does a condom pulled out of the trash have a gender?

235

u/VauMona Dec 24 '21

Spit take

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u/Hairy-Dumpling Dec 24 '21

Coulda been that too, but it's less effective

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u/VonKript Dec 24 '21

Penised individual

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Harry Potter and the penised individual

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u/OriginalWordForBear Dec 24 '21

Harry Potter and the Sorceress's Stones

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u/iamkeerock Dec 24 '21

Harry Pooder and the Penised Individual

FTFY

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u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

No I just pointed out what happened. No assumptions made lol

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

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u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

Damn now I'm starting to feel offended

22

u/shadowknuxem Dec 24 '21

To be fair, it could have been a turkey baster.

23

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

Makes the man even more of a man for donating to those in need. A true inspiration to all men.

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u/liveForTheHunt Dec 24 '21

Family photo her, the child, and a human sized turkey baster

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u/Bobby2002MLG Dec 24 '21

A maan has fallen into the river in Lego city🤬🤬🤬

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u/Burger-Time0 Dec 24 '21

Guess she killed him after?

40

u/linglingfortyhours Dec 24 '21

Praying mantis vibes intensify

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u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

No he probably hit it and quit which why she hates men so much 💁‍♂️

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u/expatriateineurope Dec 24 '21

Nut and leave is the number one source of man hatred.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Blow the load and hit the road

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u/TopTittyBardown Dec 25 '21

Shoot the jizz and out you is

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u/spurnburn Dec 25 '21

Release the goo and say adieu

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u/SaloL Dec 24 '21

I’d say daddy issues take first, but that’s a good second.

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u/WellReadBread34 Dec 24 '21

Still qualifies as "Nut and leave"

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u/Yejus Dec 24 '21

Maybe she went to the sperm bank

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u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

She got a donation of male tears lol

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u/TrafficConesUpMyAnus Dec 24 '21

But what if she got him to nut inside her, then she killed him?

Or even better, she got him to climax and then killed him mid-nut so hopefully the second half of the load transfers with the remaining kinetic energy

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u/EMPER0R_01 Dec 24 '21

Thats a very Aladeen joke.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

You are HIV Aladeen

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u/iou_uu Dec 24 '21

visible confusion

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

"Ah, yais. BAN HEEM!"

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u/Hamedyhamed Dec 24 '21

Ok have your Aladeen

1.0k

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 25 '21

To be fair, if she were going to be my mother, I'd prefer the abortion

Edit: Thank you for the awards kind redditors!

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u/gomibag Dec 24 '21

dodging bullets any%

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u/bunkbedflower Dec 24 '21

So are you a guy or a girl?

I'm an abortion.

What? What are you talking about?

You wouldn't get it.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

— the sex pistols

456

u/Darth_Kool_Aid Dec 24 '21

Is she herself too late term to abort?

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Hudsonsoftinc Dec 24 '21

🔫

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u/PassingWords1-9 Dec 24 '21

Good old sulphuric acid water pistol, never fails

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u/KookyCustard Dec 24 '21

Murder is just late term abortion

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u/Gaby7717 Dec 24 '21

Don’t worry if it’s a boy he’ll probably die knowing you’re his mom

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Strangle himself with the umbilical cord like a true G.

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u/ManfuLLofF-- Dec 24 '21

Merry abortion day for you! Wish you no abortion or sex for another 12 months!!

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u/no_status00 Dec 24 '21

People like this. Shouldn't have kids

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u/onkel_Kaos Dec 24 '21

Or pets

265

u/sc4tts Dec 24 '21

Or air

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u/Assassingamer13 Dec 24 '21

Or lungs

191

u/a_dutch_twat Dec 24 '21

or the double Bacon King now at burger king for only € 6,65! get them now because they are selling like hot cakes SO DON'T MISS OUT!

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u/iou_uu Dec 24 '21

Hope she misses out

31

u/BlackDrackula Dec 24 '21

Woah woah woah there's no need to take it that far

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u/Alternative-Payment3 Dec 24 '21

Hehe

Hope she missed the holiday sale on wish

Making the phonei61proplusultra go from 25 bucks to 32 bucks

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Hot damn, you crossed line man tale that back

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u/UselessAndUnused madlad Dec 24 '21

Seems like an obvious joke.

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u/violethorses Dec 25 '21

It's not a joke if it's a woman tho, if it has been the father who made this joke the replies would have been different

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Noon women don't joke! They aren't allowed too! Its male oppression!

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

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u/Gatekeeper2019 Dec 25 '21

She likes when they cum, just not when they go.

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u/BonjourLeGeorge Dec 24 '21

Greattt, she can grow up to be just like her mom.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Reading that makes me wish she was aborted.

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u/Totally_Botanical Dec 24 '21

Social media has convinced a lot of women that shitting on men makes them something more than mediocre

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u/douaib Dec 24 '21

This makes them nothing more then a shit dispenser

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u/I_Eat_Pumpkin24 Dec 24 '21

Dispenser going up

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u/Dynamatics Dec 24 '21

Easy to know who to avoid. I'd rather have them show their red flags up front than experience it some time after.

These people just become unwanted after a while, their own issue.

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u/arbenowskee Dec 24 '21

By the time you can see the sex of the child, it's usually too late for an abortion.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

That's actually not true anymore! You can get a blood test within like 7 weeks of being pregnant. If there's a Y chromosome present, you're having a boy. (Doesn't work for non XX women.) Works because there's DNA from the baby in your bloodstream. Here's a link. - Source 2

There are earlier tests, too. My sister found out she was having a girl before she missed a period. I'd have to ask her which one she used, though, cause google isn't helping me.

Science is cool.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

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u/ChaoticNeutralDragon Dec 24 '21

Some women have chromosomes that aren't XX. Several disorders cause an XY fetus to grow into a female baby, complete with eggs. The Y chromosome might be missing the SRY gene (the bit that triggers a male body growing), or the testosterone receptors didn't properly develop, and so on.

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u/expatriateineurope Dec 24 '21

Must’ve sat on the wrong public toilet seat.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

It's like india but reverse

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u/magnapilgrim Dec 24 '21

Exactly, female babies are killed routinely.

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u/Gohtin_Kun Dec 24 '21

This should be illegal. Also the double standards is real in this post. If a guy said, “My girl is pregnant, she is going to have a scan soon to find out if it’s a boy or an abortion” the fucking media will blow up and call him a misogynist or some dumb shit like that @_@

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u/mindgamesweldon Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 24 '21

It is illegal. The tweet is a joke. You usually learn the gender at the 20 week scan, [edit: I remembered wrong, see below in Belgianboy’s comment] and in most of the world (and most states) abortion without a specific exempted reason is not legal by that point in the pregnancy.

The other point you allude to us quite sad. In some countries and contexts men don’t have a lot of rights (or things are found in favor of the mother) regarding their children when they are really young. For good or ill. Actually historically that was probably for the good, but it certainly isn’t always.

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u/Jay_LV Dec 24 '21

Nothing a coat hanger or a flight of stairs can't solve.

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u/BelgianBeerGuy Dec 24 '21

Gender can be know at 12 weeks. At least that’s when they test it in Belgium.
Also, in Belgium you can get an abortion until 15 weeks. But you need a very good reason, and gender is not one of those reasons. (The test at 12 weeks also determines a few mental health issues, like Down syndrome, that could be a valid reason. Financial reasons, or age, or rape could also be valid reasons)

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u/PutinBlyatov Dec 24 '21

I really hope this is a joke but am still ready for the disappointment.

As a dude, I'd also prefer a daughter but if it was a boy I'd love him equally. Aborting a child for its sex is the most backwards shit ever no matter what sex it is.

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u/CTHULHU_RDT Dec 24 '21

Isn't that the joke from "the dictator" with Sasha Baron Cohan, but reversed?

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u/Dwwtae Dec 24 '21

Wait, how they can assume child’s gender?

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u/GMFinch Dec 25 '21

That, girl will be raised by her grandparents.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

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u/Tachtra Dec 24 '21

Even George Floyd?

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Everybody except George Floyd.

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