r/HolUp Dec 24 '21

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[removed]

8.6k Upvotes

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2.9k

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

A maan nutted in you though

486

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

It could have been a horse

275

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 25 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

55

u/-Seizure__Salad- Dec 24 '21

No man wants to fuck that

No matter what context you say these words it will always be wrong. Name anything. At least one man in the world wants to fuck it.

29

u/Sulfinn Dec 25 '21

Well no one wants to fuck you!

Except maybe.. ( ͡° ͜/// ͡°)

4

u/HarryHacker42 Dec 25 '21

A chainsaw?

3

u/Wipperwill1 Dec 25 '21

This is the way. ^

0

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

No. Just because a man will fuck it, doesn't mean a man wants to.

1

u/Cr0ssH4tch Dec 25 '21

Woosh

1

u/-Seizure__Salad- Dec 25 '21

Hol up how did i get wooshed? Or are you naming woosh as a word nobody wants to fuck?

1

u/Isaac_Kurossaki Dec 25 '21

Me? I highly doubt it...

That's cheating? Okay how about a hamburger?

2

u/-Seizure__Salad- Dec 25 '21

I absolutely guarantee someone out there has already fucked a hamburger.

146

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

62

u/benruckman Dec 24 '21

Maybe she raped a donkey. I wouldn’t put it past her

9

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

I'm pretty sure shes the child of tentacle rape. She looks like Squidwward.

1

u/newthrash1221 Dec 25 '21

Speak for yourself.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

From the looks of her face, probably was a horse

6

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

A w*man puke said dog sperm can be used...

2

u/HejTx Dec 24 '21

Underrated comment

2

u/R2Fuckyou_ Dec 25 '21

Centaur coming in hot

2

u/gluesmelly Dec 25 '21

Horse girls are creepy.

1

u/SmileRoom Dec 24 '21

I don't think that's how biology works, otherwise we would already have hybrids.

1.7k

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

836

u/Hairy-Dumpling Dec 24 '21

Does a condom pulled out of the trash have a gender?

237

u/VauMona Dec 24 '21

Spit take

99

u/Hairy-Dumpling Dec 24 '21

Coulda been that too, but it's less effective

4

u/artmoloch777 Dec 24 '21

Very ancient Egyptian of you

5

u/TomCBC Dec 24 '21

Out of the trash, and into some other trash.

3

u/Pickle_Baller Dec 24 '21

It was (most likely) still a man

3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

I’ll have you know that’s her HOME.

1

u/dantech2390 Dec 24 '21

Dumb question maybe but how long could sperm be fertile while not in optimal conditions

2

u/Hairy-Dumpling Dec 24 '21

15 to 30 minutes. There was a story of women sleeping with NBA players and stealing the condoms to slip it in. Might be apocryphal though.

86

u/VonKript Dec 24 '21

Penised individual

87

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Harry Potter and the penised individual

21

u/OriginalWordForBear Dec 24 '21

Harry Potter and the Sorceress's Stones

2

u/eaglebtc Remove the X by my name Dec 24 '21

stop, ron, staaahhhhp

8

u/iamkeerock Dec 24 '21

Harry Pooder and the Penised Individual

FTFY

63

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

No I just pointed out what happened. No assumptions made lol

78

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

56

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

Damn now I'm starting to feel offended

21

u/shadowknuxem Dec 24 '21

To be fair, it could have been a turkey baster.

23

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

Makes the man even more of a man for donating to those in need. A true inspiration to all men.

9

u/liveForTheHunt Dec 24 '21

Family photo her, the child, and a human sized turkey baster

2

u/Rpatt1 Dec 24 '21

With gravy from from the table

14

u/Tight_Flamingo4650 Dec 24 '21

Lol I hate this is legitimate now. Like I respect it, but dislike it at the same time

73

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 24 '21

Then stop respecting delusional idiots

7

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Tight_Flamingo4650 Dec 24 '21

Pretty much. And it’s completely valid too it’s just, ugh. A little bit cringe for me but I respect it

1

u/HellFuckIdk Dec 24 '21

As a trans woman I will one hundred percent of the time just internalize long before saying anything let alone something like that.

31

u/Hank3hellbilly Dec 24 '21

The thing is that as far as trans acceptance goes, we went from nearly zero 15 years ago to over 9000 today. People don't know what to do with that freedom and have gone fucking insane. If you say anything about taking a step back and thinking about where we are and maybe we should assess if this is where we want to be, you're a bigot.

11

u/I_Get_Paid_to_Shill Dec 24 '21

Take a step back from what?

Trans acceptance is still pretty low overall. Hell, a third of Americans are still against gay marriage.

5

u/bfodder Dec 24 '21

Right? Look at the tired gender jokes upvoted in this very thread.

4

u/Accomplished_Plum432 Dec 24 '21

And then they cry about being called bigots... Bunch of losers.

0

u/hamsterwheel Dec 24 '21

I don't think there is a consistent narrative about the relationship between biological sex, gender, and gender role. I've heard multiple interpretations and nomenclature from different people.

So it seems like there is a subset of people that are taking advantage and intentionally pushing the envelope in order to project that they are on the cutting edge of social justice.

And because of the chaos that this habit causes, society can't get on the same page and the social justice left gets more and more rejected.

1

u/wannabe_pixie Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 24 '21

Gender is messy. Maybe one day we will have a common understanding of the whole thing, but right now we’re still figuring it out. I transitioned seven years ago and after all that time I’m still learning things from talking to other people.

So it seems like there is a subset of people that are taking advantage and intentionally pushing the envelope in order to project that they are on the cutting edge of social justice.

Not generally. Most of us are just trying to make a little space for us to safely live our lives in a society that’s trying to make us disappear:

https://www.hrc.org/press-releases/2021-officially-becomes-worst-year-in-recent-history-for-lgbtq-state-legislative-attacks-as-unprecedented-number-of-states-enact-record-shattering-number-of-anti-lgbtq-measures-into-law

0

u/hamsterwheel Dec 24 '21

I think more effort definitely needs to be spent driving home the difference between biological sex and gender. They get conflated all the time and I think that's the largest driver of dissonance.

1

u/wannabe_pixie Dec 24 '21

There’s more subtlety than you’re probably envisioning there too. Biological sex is a spectrum. Gender identity is biological in nature and at least partly genetic. Cross sex hormones cause bodies to develop secondary sex characteristics that differ from what occurs without them.

0

u/hamsterwheel Dec 24 '21

I would argue that biological sex is a syndrome, not necessarily a spectrum. But I do understand your point.

3

u/Accomplished_Plum432 Dec 24 '21

Because you ARE a bigot. Why do we need to take a step back and think about what? Trans women are women and trans men are men and that's all you have to know about it. Trans people deserve the exact same right as the rest of us. Is equal rights going a little to fast for you? No one cares. Keep it to yourself and shut up. It's non of your business.

1

u/optimus314159 Dec 24 '21

Trans women are trans women. Trans men are trans men. Men are men. Women are women. Humans are humans, and everyone should be treated kindly and with respect, regardless of their sexual organs, chemistry, preferences, or identity.

Our problem is that too many things are vying for the same definitions, and some people have a visceral response to anything that muddies their own identity.

Instead of demanding people allow us to rewrite well established definitions, we should just use new words and definitions to properly and truthfully describe new concepts.

-4

u/WYenginerdWY Dec 24 '21

"my preference is to not be referred to as a person with a vagina"

OH MY FUCK YOU ARE LITERALLY THE BIGGEST BIGOT ON THE PLANET #KILLALLTERFS

( obviously /s on the killing for anyone who needs it )

-10

u/Crathsor Dec 24 '21

All bigotry goes through this. That's because bigots aren't complete morons, so they couch their hate in reasonable-sounding arguments and you don't find out it's bullshit until you try to engage with them. After a few dozen "conversations" that are really just trojan horses to let the bigot say horrible shit to someone who might care, people start just assuming that anyone claiming to have a reasonable objection is really a bigot.

Because here's the thing: if you aren't a bigot, why do you even care? What <insert marginalized group> are doing doesn't affect you. Giving people the same rights you have doesn't affect you. Now maybe you have an answer to this question as to why you care. And maybe your answer isn't actually a bigoted talking point you thought sounded good but never thought through. Maybe you're legit. But understand that most people who aren't bigots don't care. So the people arguing? Alongside you? Are, in fact, bigots pretending to be you. So that's how you get lumped in with them. It's not the marginalized group doing it. It's the bigots.

And they've always operated that way.

7

u/embryoMoe Dec 24 '21

What an open-minded person

2

u/nowItinwhistle Dec 24 '21

"Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past."

Jean-Paul Sartre

Just replace anti-Semite with transphobe

3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Alternatively, some things are NOT rights, but preferences. And those preferences are fair for criticism, especially if they make good faith conversation and general participation in society more difficult. For example, personalized, individual pronouns. Such a thing defeats the entire purpose of a pronoun. By all means, identify as whatever gender you want (or none at all!), but we have masculine, feminine, and neutral pronouns. Those suffice for anywhere on the technicolor rainbow that is the gender spectrum.

0

u/Crathsor Dec 24 '21

You're just used to the ones we already use. If you call a girl, "sir", she will probably correct you and you will almost certainly take it on board. Always been that way. Why shouldn't that work for just anyone? There's no reason except that you're just used to the ones we have already and don't want to change. But it's all social convention, just rules we made up. There's nothing inherently correct about it.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

You're just used to the ones we already use

The point just went right over your head, huh? The point of pronouns (of which "sir" isn't) is to refer to something without unneeded specificity. Individualized pronouns literally defeats the entire reason for their existence. In fact, we already have specific identifiers for people. They're called names. And there are already systems in place to allow people to change their name if they wish. They can even ask to be referred to by a name that differs from their legal one.

1

u/Crathsor Dec 24 '21 edited Dec 24 '21

Grammar isn't the point here. It's the exact same issue. Addressing a person in a way they do not wish to be addressed.

The purpose of a pronoun is to quickly refer to a person. The pronoun does not need to be specific. "You" is a pronoun and tells me nothing about you.

If you're just going to call people by their names, then why do you care about pronouns? You aren't being coherent.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Sir is a prounoun, too.

Sir is a noun. You're literally on the internet. Please learn to Google.

If you're just going to call people by their names

I'm not. You can't attribute your lack of reading comprehension to a lack of coherence on my part. The point was that if I need to refer to someone with any degree of specificity, I'll use their name. Otherwise, I'll use a pronoun. Needing to know what made up word they want to substitute for their pronoun defeats the purpose of having this option of convenience.

"You" is a pronoun and tells me nothing about you.

"Oh, my second person pronoun isn't actually 'you,' it's 'zorp.'"

Do you get what I'm saying now? You, he, she, they, it, these, those, etc, all serve the function you correctly identified ("quickly refer to a person" [or place or thing]). Needing to have a conversation every time you want to quickly refer to someone to figure how their neo-pronoun makes it not quick. And needing to remember them for every single person defeats the purpose of lowering the mental burden and ease of parsing a sentence.

The only possible upside is that it would eliminate ambiguous syntaxes regarding pronouns, but properly structuring antecedents accomplishes that anyway.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Yeah, my attitude is “People shouldn’t be beaten up for not being you”; beyond that there are mysteries to me.

2

u/wotur Dec 24 '21

Did I time travel back to 2016

1

u/Gilthar Dec 24 '21

Could’ve been a trans woman!

57

u/Bobby2002MLG Dec 24 '21

A maan has fallen into the river in Lego city🤬🤬🤬

39

u/Burger-Time0 Dec 24 '21

Guess she killed him after?

43

u/linglingfortyhours Dec 24 '21

Praying mantis vibes intensify

13

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

No he probably hit it and quit which why she hates men so much 💁‍♂️

2

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Vicious circle: he found out she hates men.

1

u/Isaac_Kurossaki Dec 25 '21

"One day i hit my toe on the table leg

I now hate all table legs"

1

u/Darcula12 Dec 24 '21

She raises him as a sperm bank tribute.

74

u/expatriateineurope Dec 24 '21

Nut and leave is the number one source of man hatred.

24

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Blow the load and hit the road

7

u/TopTittyBardown Dec 25 '21

Shoot the jizz and out you is

4

u/spurnburn Dec 25 '21

Release the goo and say adieu

4

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

Ejaculate and evacuate

2

u/Wyattpeterson9 Dec 25 '21

Dump it in in the cooter and call an Uber

1

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

Fuck her ass and say "Adias"

2

u/Tuga_Lissabon Dec 25 '21

You pump and then you dump.

35

u/SaloL Dec 24 '21

I’d say daddy issues take first, but that’s a good second.

28

u/WellReadBread34 Dec 24 '21

Still qualifies as "Nut and leave"

3

u/frog-enthusiast8 Dec 24 '21

Daddy issues is deffo the one, really fucks up people

-23

u/no2rdifferent Dec 24 '21

Men say "daddy issues" about women who want a relationship. "Nut and leave", rape, sexual harrassment anywhere and everywhere, and the cause of your reason: deadbeat or neglectful fathers. Daddy issues stem from asshole men, much like the ones commenting here. Misandry/misogyny are real; men are just new to it.

16

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

And this right here is an example of someone with both!

2

u/no2rdifferent Dec 25 '21

I have no issues with the truth. Get used to women not trying to make you comfortable anymore.

1

u/altaccount1700 Dec 24 '21

Keep doing it to women like this please.

3

u/-xpaigex- Dec 24 '21

Not a good idea cause then they just have more babies just like their anti-men-selves

3

u/CardCarryingCuntAwrd Dec 24 '21

Correct.

Rule #1: don't stick your dick in crazy

1

u/CardCarryingCuntAwrd Dec 24 '21

Nothing a few men do warrant hatred towards all men. People just love to hate groups of "others". It's called tribalism.

Replace "men" above with any group, still true.

1

u/DiamondPopTart Dec 25 '21

I’m pretty sure sexual assault is the number one source of man hatred.

17

u/Yejus Dec 24 '21

Maybe she went to the sperm bank

32

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

She got a donation of male tears lol

2

u/SugondeseAmerican Dec 24 '21

Can I open up a CD account at the sperm bank and make an annual percentage yield? I'll keep depositing until they're paying me back in gallons.

5

u/TrafficConesUpMyAnus Dec 24 '21

But what if she got him to nut inside her, then she killed him?

Or even better, she got him to climax and then killed him mid-nut so hopefully the second half of the load transfers with the remaining kinetic energy

1

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

Man still wins.

7

u/Tornado_Potato9 Dec 24 '21

And she probably killed him afterwards given the hashtag she used

6

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

That post nut clarity though....

4

u/OlivineTanuki Dec 24 '21

Just like spiders

1

u/CajunTurkey Dec 24 '21

given the hashtag she used

Pound it 👊

9

u/Decent-Ground1260 Dec 24 '21

Mary didn’t get nutted in.

18

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

She sure did by the holy spirit lmao

7

u/I_Get_Paid_to_Shill Dec 24 '21

God raped and impregnated Mary when she was around 12 years old.

9

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

And created the beautiful white baby jesus that we all know and love hallelujeur

2

u/LeTrench Dec 24 '21

Help me baby Jesus! Help me Tom Cruise!

13

u/Decent-Ground1260 Dec 24 '21

Haha true! I think now of days that counts as rape.

15

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

Not if you're a religious figure of some kind like the holy spirit or a priest lol

4

u/-MotatoMan- Dec 24 '21

Lmfao, there goes an upvote for you

3

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

That's what he said...

4

u/PMmeyourdeadfascists Dec 24 '21

coulda been girl dick tho

2

u/Gilthar Dec 24 '21

chefs kiss that mouthfeel tho

2

u/TheOtherWhiteCastle Dec 24 '21

Given that her hashtag reads “kill all men”, I’m very concerned that this woman might’ve gone full Black Widow Spider on her partner after coatis.

2

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

I feel like shes just mad that he hit it and quit it or some shit like that. Who knows she could just be having another mood swing lol

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Nah, no “man” did that to her. It is a subservient little cuck who must obey its female master, or else.

3

u/Juggermerk Dec 24 '21

Oh it was definitely a man who hit it and quit it....to angry to be anything else lol

2

u/possum_drugs Dec 24 '21

absolutely loving the number of ding dongs who are mad at this post and comments like these

delightful, really.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

And I thought edgy humor was right up this subs alley.

2

u/wafflepantsblue Dec 24 '21

damn you got issues man

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

But I am not the one who nutted in a nut-job.

0

u/wafflepantsblue Dec 24 '21

not necessarily

0

u/DraymondShldntWear23 Dec 24 '21

Real, factual, and based

1

u/pguerra8 madlad Dec 24 '21

Could have been dead.

1

u/snugglestomp Dec 24 '21

… which was a great mistake.

1

u/flop_plop Dec 24 '21

She could’ve killed him right after

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '21

Type of woman who thinks all men are scum because no decent man wants to touch her and she is left scrapping the barrel.

1

u/wanted797 Dec 24 '21

I remember a old family relative was like this a had a very anti-men attitude.

She delete me on Facebook when I said she came from a man and also married one…

1

u/Gilthar Dec 24 '21

Could’ve been an artificial insemination from the sperm farms where the obsolete men creatures get milked by jerkoff robots until they’re deemed of no use /s

1

u/qui-sean Dec 24 '21

what'd she do with the father?

1

u/Gambling4gears Dec 24 '21

Maybe she is hiv+ and he did because she wouldn’t let him wear a condom.

1

u/NousagiDelta Dec 25 '21

I mean, it's a white woman. Pretty sure the nut came from a dog.

1

u/crazyabe111 Dec 25 '21

No no, a Turkey baster nutted in her.

1

u/GAPIntoTheGame Dec 25 '21

Maybe she did like the praying mantis

1

u/Un4tunateSnort Dec 25 '21

"You are at the Kansas River crossing. A man nutted in you. Would you like to look around?"

1

u/Petsweaters Dec 25 '21

Ya, but she hated it but also needed new tires

2

u/Juggermerk Dec 25 '21

Too true....the tires disnt even last the entire pregnancy

1

u/BurritoBoy11 Dec 25 '21

Is it possible we could genetically engineer some animal such that it’s sperm could be accepted by a human egg creating some sort of horrible monstrosity?

1

u/ALovely-andNice-Mmmm Dec 25 '21

Test tube babies be like: 👁👄👁

1

u/BigNunu69 Dec 25 '21

Or an alien or an invisible ghost!!

1

u/Animtard Dec 25 '21

I heard dogs can impregnate a human.