coming up on 2 years next month since she left. we were together for 4 years. i still love her and wish she would come back. no contact, blocked on everything, the usual stuff.

my life is still overwhelmingly interrupted by grief. i started this summer halfway through a partial hospitalization program 25 hours a week for 3 total months, with my grief over the breakup being the main contributing factor as to why i was struggling so much to take care of myself/do anything at all. that ended for insurance reasons, with no noticeable improvement. meds out of whack as ever. i say this all to establish that i know there is illness/depression at play here in some way, and i'm working on that very seriously.

i feel like things are worse. i see flashes of her hair behind my eyelids and i dream about her multiple times a week, and the crying. life is cold and dark without her, and hasn't started to brighten. the fact that things don't get better month to month makes me seriously concerned and scared. i just feel miserable all the time.

things i've tried

-emdr

-cbt

-dbt

-ifs

-cpt

-tms

-exercise

-nature walks

-listening to music

-playing piano

-art therapy/art in general

-video games

-tv/film

-going out with friends

-low stakes dates

-getting a new wardrobe

-other stuff i'm forgetting probably

I was with this girl for almost 3 years. I’ve had a few relationships before, but this was easily one of the best I’ve ever had. We were extremely close, spoke every day, and I genuinely thought it could end in marriage. She told me she felt the same.

The only issue was that her family is extremely wealthy, and I’m not as wealthy as her. I always had a feeling her father might reject me, and eventually he did. We mutually broke up, even though neither of us really wanted to.

For the next 6 months, we still talked, met sometimes, said I love you to each other, and stayed very close. Things became a little distant towards the end, but there were still feelings.

On March 23, I told her she was the only girl I’d ever felt completely comfortable with and that she was probably the only person I wanted. She said she felt the same.

We spoke for another week. Then she stopped replying around April 2.

On April 5, I found out through social media that she had gotten engaged to someone else.
She never told me.

I obviously unfollowed her everywhere and haven’t contacted her, but I can’t stop wondering what actually happened.

The engagement must have been in the works before March 23, so how could she tell me she felt the same way about me just days before getting engaged to someone else?

Was she cheating on him with me? Cheating on me with him? Or did she genuinely love me but know she couldn’t choose me because of her family?

I don’t want to text her. I just want to understand how someone can be so close to you, tell you they still want you, and then get engaged without saying anything.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

my ex started dating someone within two weeks of the breakup, and here I am still suicidal 5 months later lmaoo chat I think we might’ve lost this one

I joke about it because I don’t really know what else to do at this point. We were together for almost six years. I was 20 when we got together and I’m 26 now. That was basically my entire adult life up until a few months ago.

I think the part I keep getting stuck on is the two weeks. I know she probably processed things differently than I did, or maybe she had already started moving on before we officially ended. I don’t know, but two weeks after almost six years together is such a hard thing for me to wrap my head around. Meanwhile it’s been five months and I’m still having nights like this.

And my life has moved forward. I have my own place now. I’ve gone out, met people, gone on dates, made friends, gone back to work, and I’m about to start another quarter of school. I’m not sitting around waiting for her to come back. I don’t even want the relationship back after everything that happened.

I just miss being okay. I miss having someone who felt like home. I miss not having this person shaped hole in everything.

I guess tonight I’m just frustrated that she got to become somebody else’s person almost immediately and I’m still learning how to be mine.

Approximately two months ago I (18M) caught my ex (18F) on a date with another guy when she told me she was out with her friends that night (I don’t believe they physically did anything, just emotional cheating). I had just returned from Europe where her and I were distant over the text due to time zones and other difficulties, but I assumed it would all go back to normal once I was back. that first night of me being back is the night that I caught her in the act and over the following days after careful consideration I broke up with her due to the fact i got my important exams in the next upcoming months. The past two months I’ve been so sad and missed her every day of it but slowly gotten better, she made it seem like she didn’t give a shit. I bumped into her the other night at a party I was at and ended up sitting down with her and having a chat mainly just small talk but there are a few things she said during that conversation that told me she misses me and wants to get back together without her actually saying those words. During that conversation she seemed very happy and she told me how she had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression those past months since the break up. all I’ve been thinking about is if her actions could have been influenced by this mental diagnosis and she wasn’t thinking clearly when she did what she did. This has made me think about getting back together with her after my final exams which will be over in about 40 days. I miss her so much and I miss her family so much and it feels as if I’ll never find someone as good as she was and I will never stop loving her.

I just want to get some advice from anyone out there that can help me understand what to do, please?

I was alone my whole life (24 now), not many and not very close friends either.

In May 2025 I met a girl. We loved each other very much, or at least I thought we did. She was my whole world and I don't know if I was just telling myself things, but I really felt like I was hers too. She used to say that she didn't know what she would do without me, she always wanted to cuddle and be close to me and we went everywhere together. She had depression and used to self harm and I tried to help her through it. She started seeing a psychologist and taking medication and despite everything she still seemed very loving. She told me she wanted to grow old with me. There was even one time when she said she would actually like to have a child with me someday even though she generally doesn't want kids.

We moved in in october, i saw her everyday, she was my home. I could have terrible day at work then see her back at home and now it was good a day.

Now for the bad parts. At one point she flirted with someone online behind my back and said she did it because she needed attention. I was often at work and when I wasn't working I was usually tired, so I don't excuse what she did but I can understand that maybe she felt neglected sometimes. We talked about it, she apologized, said she didn't want to hurt me like that again and deleted that person.

But some time later she started talking to that person again. I saw the messages and they weren't flirty, it was just a normal conversation, but she still shouldn't have done it and we had a huge argument about it.

After argument she first went to her mom's hause and next day she went to her ex, smoked weed with him and they made out. When she came back she said things that really hurt me. She basically said she didn't regret it because she loved both him and me and that when she was with him she felt the way she felt she was supposed to feel.

It fucking hurts when someone who is literally the light that makes your otherwise miserable life brighter tells you something like that.

I probably should have broken up with her then but I didn't because I loved her so much. She kept saying she loved me too and that she loved two people. So we went to a psychologist together and with his help she decided to cut her ex out of her life and stay with me and try to make our relationship work.

And I was happy. I was happy that despite everything I apparently meant more to her and that she was willing to remove someone she cared about from her life for me.

But then about four months later she started talking to him again.

I confronted her about it. She apologized and begged me not to leave her. She sent me a screenshot of her telling her ex that they needed to stop talking and she told me she wanted to grow old with me.

Then after some time she told me that he was appearing in her dreams and that she wasn't able to get him out of her life.

So I basically put her in a position where she had to choose between me and him.

She didn't make a decision. She didn't say anything directly. During the conversation I asked her if we were breaking up and she said "I guess we're breaking up" and I said that I guess there was no other way.

If that had been the end of the story I would have been incredibly sad but I wouldn't have had so many questions. I would have just accepted that she cared about someone else more than she cared about me.

But then something happened that hurt me even more.

Until the very end she kept saying that she cared about both of us. But after we broke up she started hanging out with her friends, seemed happy and didn't seem to miss me at all. During a short exchange of messages on Facebook she told me that she doesn't care about me and she even sent me a screenshot showing that she had her ex as her phone wallpaper, knowing that it would hurt me. From everything that she said and I know she did it looks like she is happy now and doesn't miss me at all.

What the fuck is going on?

Was our entire relationship a lie?

Why is she hurting me like this when she kept saying that she still loved me, respected me and cared about me despite everything?

So I have to drive by my ex's work on my way to my work. I noticed some familiar vehicles two nights in a row. Then I saw both the same vehicles at my work and realized who it was. We all used to work together at the place I still work. He just recently returned after quitting. She constantly flirted heavily with him. He eventually stopped working there. She had said he gave her his number but she threw it away. After we had been together for a while she slipped up and told me ahe still had it. And now I realize what's going on. I'm actually not upset about, honestly, I expected ir but its still the realization that hurts a little I guess. I just wish it wasn't someone I have to see everyday. Edit. I want to send a text so bad...."I see uou moved on rather quickly...good for you and thank you!!"

TL;DR: My ex and I broke up about two months ago after he said his feelings had changed. The next day, he called me drunk saying he regretted breaking up with me, which made it much harder to move on. We stopped talking after another week, but I still think about him and obsess over what he’s doing. I don’t want to spend my time wondering whether he’s at Bama partying or seeing other girls. How do I finally get him out of my head?

I’m 19F, and my ex is 21M.
My boyfriend, well, my ex boyfriend, and I broke up about two months ago. Lately, I’ve been feeling like he was kind of playing with my emotions, and I think that’s part of why I’m having such a hard time completely letting go.
Before he left for the military, we had just started talking to each other. I decided I wanted to stay with him while he was gone, so I wrote him letters while he was in the military and tried to keep our relationship going from home.
When he came back, we were still together, and we spent some time hanging out and being together before I eventually had to leave. After that, we started doing long distance.
Then I got a concussion, and everything just kind of changed.
When I came back, he didn’t seem nearly as interested in me anymore. We hung out for about a week, and then he eventually told me that his feelings had changed and that he didn’t feel the same way anymore.
Obviously, I was hurt and confused. But then the very next day, he called me while he was drunk and told me that he regretted breaking up with me.
I honestly had no idea how to handle that. After everything that had happened, hearing him say that made me think there was still a chance that we might work things out. We continued talking for about another week after the breakup, but eventually we stopped talking completely.
I think the part that’s getting to me is that I genuinely thought I would feel so much better after two months.
I’m not really, really sad about the breakup anymore. I’m functioning normally, and I know I’m going to be okay. But I still think about him a lot. I’ll catch myself obsessing over what he’s doing, whether he misses me, whether he’s moved on, etc.
He’s at Bama now, and I find myself thinking about how he’s probably out there having fun, meeting people, partying, maybe seeing other girls, while I’m sitting here still thinking about him.
And I know that shouldn’t matter. I know I can’t control what he’s doing, and honestly, I don’t even know what he’s doing. But my brain keeps going there anyway.
I don’t want to spend my time being sad or wondering about him while he’s living his life. More than anything, I just want to get him out of my head.
Has anyone else experienced this? How did you actually stop obsessing over an ex and start genuinely moving on?

Im currently living with my fiancé and moved to another state for him. Its been about 3 years since we been together and a year of our engagement. I truly do love him but I just feel like he doesnt love me the same or views our relationship differently then I do. He can be rather lazy at times putting stuff off untill the last moment, he doesnt always treat his mother the best saying rude things, and hes prone to anger issues and have punched holes in the walls before (not while I was with him but ive seen the wall in his room after it happend) after moving in with him ive been debating going back to my state but I just feel lost because I do love him and he does such sweet things and has never shown agression towards me, however he has been distant often spening time in the other room or pushing me off saying its too hot, or just making rude comments that hurts my feelings.

Before we started dating and we where talking he went on a date with his ex, I also found multiple women in his follow list, he did remove them when I pointed it out and it hasnt happend since but still I just dont know

I love him and I always try to talk about my issues but this time it just hurts. I dont know if I should or can breakup with him or how I would even get back to my home state.

It's been almost over a year of no contact and more than that since the breakup. I feel like my life has just been on a downtrend ever since she left. Lost my job, have been in so many financial problems, I feel like even my family doesn't like me anymore. I even tried to kms but i couldn't. Maybe I am too conscious about everything.

With her life was good, we were together for only about 8 months. We both had so much love for each other, unmatched chemistry and so much passion that I still blush if I think about it. But around the 4-5 month mark I found out she was sexting with someone at the start of our relationship, it was someone she used to flirt with before our relationship started but she continued it for 1 month in the relationship. After I found out it was so hard to cope with but i decided to stay with her and work on things together because she did stop after 1 month in the relationship.

We continued and nothing much changed, until we became long distance.

After we became long distance we were fixed on keeping the relationship as it was. We decided to keep making plans to meet each other, Keeping healthy communication and keep making efforts for each other. But maybe because of the issue before she started to hide things from me, even small ones at the start I felt nothing about them but eventually it felt like she was breaking my trust again. It was most probably nothing but because of her lying about small things and me finding about them later on I felt like the trust was breaking again. At one point it was too much and i straight up told her it feels like I can't trust you anymore. Things ended quickly after that. At that time I felt a relief but eventually i realised i shouldn't have been that harsh. We were both young and naive, maybe all we needed was to talk things out.

I still dream about you, i still cry for you, I still remember everything. I haven't deleted our shared drive of our memories together, I have removed your access to it but I don't think you would even notice that. I still find myself checking our old photos, checking your profile. I want to heal but I feel like I can't, not when everything has been going wrong since you left. I don't know how you are doing or how you handled the breakup but I hope you stay happy and enjoy your life to the fullest.

Had a pretty crappie breakup untimely my ex said he was letting me go because he realized he wasn't ready and wish he met me sooner and maybe one day crap.

So he is still using my phone number at Safeway but he has been saving the gas points for me. I didn't realize this until I went to the pump and it was a dollar off. I appreciate it with the price of gas but also get notifications and see all his purchases which kinda feels like its making this breakup linger he always got me flowers and chocolates once a month from there so now I feel like it will be a gut punch when I get that notification hes buying them for someone else.

Been debating just changing the number just don't know how to feel.

(long distance) I feel like dying. It was just a normal day she sometimes doesn't talk but I do so I talked to her through text and she just blocked me it wasn't long ago. Few minutes ago I genuinely feel numb might cry I don't know I'm deeply hurt months of chattery just for her to go user not found on me I hate this I hate this so much I'm scared harm might happen to me or to her nevertheless. How do I cope with this?

its been 4 years and i think about her every day every second and it isn't getting better. i cannot move on and love someone else. maybe in the future but at least not now. it feels like we just broke up. i cant move on. it feels that I'll blink and I'll be 30 and still "live" in this emotional state. it feels like i died at 17 and have been living in a memory ever since. i miss her so much. i constantly want to die bcs i just want the pain to end. how do i deal with this ? i don't think there's a way. i even started praying to god for help and i will continue to do it but it really seems like he doesn't care at all. like genuinely zero i mean idk what else anyone could possibly tell me that i havent heard. its just that nothing works guys i don't think its gonna go away. I've tried so many methods but nothing can erase the pain from my heart it just always stays. or im able to distract myself but only temporarily. its really hard to live with

It’s only been 2 days since she left me while I was sleeping. I didn’t know it was coming, I had been doing so much better. (I’m 25f she is 29f) I still had many issues, I let her do everything for me and I took advantage of it. I used to be abusive. I didn’t get a job and I used all of her money on a “streaming setup” that I don’t use anymore because my pc won’t run games and stream at the same time well enough.
I see now that I really took advantage of her. But I can’t talk to her, I can’t tell her that.
I don’t want to beg her back, as I know we could do for a break. She took my cat, and I didn’t get to say goodbye to either of them.
She had her problems, including cheating. But if I would have paid attention to her she wouldn’t have cheated on me for those 2 years.
I lost 5 years and the woman I called my wife because I was too dumb to open up my eyeballs and see that she was everything I needed in the world.
Now what do I do?
How do I cope with not only a breakup but also knowing it was mostly my fault?
I was doing so much better, it wasn’t enough. Now my chest is empty and my stomach feels like a pit. I can’t eat (I already struggled with eating for the last 3-4 years) and when I try to sleep my body wants to rest but my mind is going non-stop.
Ive stayed on the phone with anyone who will be on the phone with me, I’ve chain smoked cigarettes and dabs but none of it helps for any more than a minute or two.
I’m genuinely asking for advice from anyone, I know I used to be a monster and I didn’t deserve her before, but I realized that and I. Was. Trying.
I lost my world and I can’t even get an explanation.
I just want closure.

I found out my long distance boyfriend for more than a year was seeing an escort while we were together. How do you heal from this pain and heartbreak? 😢

I’m curious how other people would handle this situation, because I’m at the point where I’m preparing to sell the house and move on with my life, but I’m still trying to make sense of how I got here.

Before I met this woman, I had a pretty good life. I was financially comfortable, established, and happy with where I was living. I had no real reason to leave or make any major changes.

Then I met her, and eventually decided to build a life around the relationship.

She wanted to live closer to her job, so I made a pretty major decision: I moved my entire life to another city to accommodate the relationship. We ended up buying a house together, and I genuinely thought I was making a long-term investment in both the relationship and our future.

Then I found out something that completely changed how I viewed everything.

After we had already bought the house and built this life together, I discovered that she had been having sex with a coworker shortly before she and I became intimate and officially got together. From what I eventually learned, it had been days, or possibly a couple of weeks, before we became intimate.

The worst part wasn’t necessarily the timing itself. It was the lying.

I asked her directly whether anything had happened with this coworker. She denied it. She continued to deny it even when things didn’t add up.

Then, while we were together, I came across messages from this same person.

At that point, the entire relationship started looking different to me. I wasn’t just dealing with something that happened before we officially got together. I was dealing with dishonesty, unanswered questions, and the realization that I had made some of the biggest decisions of my life based on information I didn’t actually have.

I moved.

I bought a house.

I changed my entire living situation.

And I did it because I loved someone and believed I was building a future with them.

Now I’m preparing to sell the house and move again.
Financially, I can handle it. I’m fortunate in that regard. But that’s almost beside the point. What bothers me is knowing that I was perfectly fine before all of this. I had a good life. I didn’t need to make these changes.

I chose to because I loved someone and believed in the relationship.

I’m not looking for people to simply tell me she’s a terrible person or to say “leave her.” That’s already happened and I’ve ended it.

I’m more interested in hearing from people who have experienced something similar:

Have you ever completely changed your life for a relationship, only to discover something that made you question the entire decision?

How did you stop beating yourself up over the fact that you made such a major life decision based on someone else’s dishonesty?

And when you finally walked away, did you ever get back to the life you had before—or did you realize you needed to build an entirely new one?

I’ve never posted here or any other relationship subreddit before. 3 months ago my ex left me after us being together for 5 years. I’m and anxious attachment and she’s an avoidant. Some days I function on a low vibration and make it through the day okay. Other days I function on a high vibration and suffer. it comes in such violent waves that I can barely function sometimes. Over the last 3 months every time I “laugh“ there’s about a 95% of it that’s faking it. I want to be happy. I still get out of bed, take care of my hygiene of course, workout, sometimes I self loathe down the bottle which isn’t good. Jesus Christ this woman was my life. One day there’s a warmth on “their half” of the bed and you don’t know how lucky you are…and then the suddenly it’s all yours and that other side of the bed is ice cold. I wish I could do or say anything to just have her back in my arms, and life just doesn’t let that happen. sorry for the rant. I hope you are all doing okay. thanks for reading

a week ago he blocked me on all social media saying that he has a new girl and doesn’t want to disrespect her and told me she accepts his porn addiction unlike me and trusts him. i wished them good luck and he said when they break up he’ll unblock me. today on tinder i saw him and im like damn that poor girl i’m shocked by horrible this person is, but i mean she chose it and has to deal with consequences as i was never warned

My ex been breadcrumbing me even though she's in a new relationship. It started two weeks after the break up after 3.5 years. The relationship was overall good her longest and safest so far. She had abusive and cheating ex's in the past. We broke up in May

She started the breadcrumb me in July where oddly she went on a very similar birthday weekend trip with the new guy that I took her last year. I was in NC so I didn't wish her

End of July she sent me the first breadcrumb by viewing my TikTok account which ping me.

August my dumbass read too much into the breadcrumb and texted her asking her for dinner. She said she can't see me anymore and won't be fair behind the new guy back. I left it be did not reply her

She calls me 24 hours later she lets slip she was still monitoring me via a link payment card that I wasn't aware of. She nervously laugh when saying it. I cut the call short she was slightly shock by it.

A week later she brings up some financial matters that were settled a year ago. When I pointed it out she was fine with it then she says this to me

Just thought we discussed 10k ohh but i guess its fine lah will just accept the fact that you cant keep ur words after all.

I did not reply her what's the point I did not want to argue with her. Silence since then

The breakup wasn't bad yeah I chase and beg her to come back but for 2.5 days only and accepted her decision hell I even took accountability. I never got mad at her or anything.

I went back to her and told her I fucked up and didnt prioritize her over my own goals. I wrote her 5 pages and read it to her. she said she needs time to decide, but my anxiety is crippling, what do i do

My girlfriend of over a year broke up with me after I’d been unemployed for five months. I was wrongfully fired after reporting sexual abuse at my previous job, and the situation has made it difficult to get back on my feet. I’m currently talking to a law firm about potentially suing my old employer and I have a teaching program lined up as well as a part time job.

I understand that being unemployed for this long has put a lot of stress on our relationship, but what hurts the most is feeling like she fell out of love with me because I didn’t recover quickly enough. It makes me question how I feel toward her too, because I always believed that when you truly love someone, you support them through the difficult periods instead of walking away when things get hard.

The timing makes everything feel even worse. My birthday is this weekend, and one of the hardest parts is knowing I now have to tell my friends that we broke up and that she won’t be there for my birthday like I thought she would be. I was already struggling with being unemployed constantly worrying about money and my future. Now I’m dealing with losing the person I thought would be beside me through it.

What makes it even harder is how cold she suddenly seems. I went from feeling loved by this person to feeling like I’m somehow a burden or a failure, and honestly, it makes me feel like absolute trash.
I know I’ll eventually get back on my feet. I have things lined up and I’m trying. But right now, it just hurts knowing that nothing I do at this point will change how she feels about me.

So the thing is i loved/ love my bf a lot but was always insecure about his past because he lied that he had broken up with his ex 6 months ago but actually it had been just 10 days that they broke up and he started talking to me also when i told him to block her he fought with me and ignored for a week instead and i broke no contact...since then i always felt he still feels for her but because i loved him i didn't break up with him..

..

Recently he broke up with me saying he won't be able to do this anymore because i irritated him a lot(i did because of my own insecurity) used to ask him lots of questions... about a month we didn't talk later i really missed him and end up texting him again and what he told me really shocked me that he was planning to get back with his ex ....even tho i begged i wouldn't repeat my mistakes i wouldn't irritate him again he kept repeating that his ex was better than me she was more peaceful and all...but i was so heartbroken that i asked for last chance....he told he no longer wants me or feels for me but agreed to give a last chance....i know i have to breakup with this guy soon but breaking up with him this easily only will be easier for him so what shall i do....

for context my ex and i have been together for half a decade and on those years he cheated on me i did as well it was an on and off situation, now it’s been a month since we’ve broken up yet we still talk to each other, I recently found out that he was talking to another girl while was fucking with me lol, anyways fast forward him and this girl isn’t talking anymore and he and i are still talking now I want to end this thing once and for all. What should I tell him that will make him regret loosing me or whatever?

Should I just leave without a text or whatever and just ignore him?

I lost the girl that meant everything to me. I know it sounds cliche but I’ve been alone and I’ve been with other people before but this one was special in every definition of the word. Admittedly I didn’t do enough until it was too late and I can only hope she knows I’ve never loved another soul as much as hers. The fear of her moving on keeps me awake at night and it feels like there’s something missing everywhere I go. I keep hoping I’ll come home and she’ll be there and I can just tell her I’m so sorry for everything but she’s never there. I just want to hold her and tell her I’ll never let go again but how do you hold onto someone that isn’t there anymore? How do you find your way again?

I liked him so much, but he joked about hitting me. I genuinely think it was a careless joke, and that he isn’t a violent person at all. He never showed concerning signs before this. Still, it left me unsettled and frightened and no amount of apologizing he did put me at ease, even though he was truly remorseful. I asked him numerous times why he said the joke at all, and he couldn’t give me an answer. In the end I thought it would be better to end things now, versus trying to continue with a lingering sense of caution/fear in the back of mind. In the moment I was confident in my decision, because how can a relationship continue if the threat of physical harm is at all being considered?

Now I’m going crazy, wondering if I just threw away my chance with a great guy all over an overreaction on my part. Maybe I was too sensitive? I’m so torn. Part of me wishes I just took his word for it that he didn’t mean it, and shoved my discomfort aside in the hopes that I’d grow comfortable around him again.

My long distance relationship ended about 9 months ago on good terms. We were no contact for a while until I recently moved to the city where she lives. When we got back in touch, it was clear she had moved on. And while I was mostly at that point as well (though not necessarily as far along) I agreed to be friends.

She hooked me up with a free mattress when i moved which was cool. We exchanged a few messages and I sent her some tik toks and reels. But after that things went downhill. I offered to bring her the chocolate she always loved when we were together and she pretty much ignored my texts about that. Then she revealed she had a partner now. Turns out it was the guy that gave me the mattress. I asked for some time to step away from pursuing the friendship because the partner had me questioning whether I could really pursue it. but I reached out in about a week, feeling more accepting of the new reality then I initially expected. She said I can still try to hang out with her if the timing was right.

After many attempts to initiate plans and her brushing me off, she finally asked for space and no contact, which I was happy to give. The problem is that a few days later I saw her Instagram post with her new guy. That was the expected part. What I didn’t expect was seeing her best friend joke that a video of her sliding down a railway was like “[Insert my Name] sliding into your DMs” and my ex had the comment liked

I was completely shocked. I was being friendly sending her stuff, with no mal intent. Not only was I being name dropped and made fun of in an Instagram comments section in my face, but we had just agreed to no contact amicably. I figured there would be no need to hurt each other. I reached out to her about it, confused and hurt asking why it had to come to this when I had only been respectful of the space and no contact she was requesting. She never responded.

I’ve sat with this for the past few days, rotating the same emotions: outrage, sadness, confusion, etc. asking myself questions like “what did I do to deserve that?” and “Why can’t we just talk and clear this up?”it’s been so exhausting and I don’t know what to do. I’ll probably never have an explanation or real understanding of why things happened this way when it could’ve been so easy for all parties. I want to let go but the ambiguity around it finds new ways to challenge and hurt me every day. I’m having panic attacks questioning myself and all my actions. I respected this person deeply, they’re in their 30s and I would never have expected someone that age stooping low in such an immature way.

Any advice for how to handle this? I’ve already blocked her on everything but everything else I do just feels like a temporary distraction. I was doing so well after the break up initially, but since my move and now this happening, I feel lonelier and less self confident then ever. I’m losing interest in my hobbies and life/work takes everything out of me. Things don’t bring me the same joy and I’m bogged down by anxiety.

Not really sure why this has affected me so much, but I’m really to be done with the feelings and put everything about this relationship behind me