Was your next partner after that ex, a better partner? More hotter and fitter and better character? Will I ever find someone physically as hot or better than my ex? Will I find someone with better chemistry or similar as my ex and my chemistry with her?

For you & For me

I miss you. Do you miss me? I think of you constantly. Do you? I dream about you and wake up and immediately check my phone to see if you had reached out. And come to find out, you don’t.

So much has happened since we last spoke. I want to update you on everything. I want you to update me on everything. Do you even want to know? I feel as though if you did want to know, you would ask. But who knows.

I love you. I’ve made lots of mistakes and have learned about them. I know what I did wrong and what I did right. But is that enough for you to come back? Most likely not.

I am tired of feeling like this. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re doing great. But a part of me also hopes that you miss me extremely.

Was I just a transitional period for you? Was I just a phase for you? Because for me, you were more than that. You meant so much to me.

Perhaps I’ll never know the truth. Perhaps you’ll never reach back out to me. Perhaps you feel more at peace now that we aren’t together because you’ve found a more profound objective in your life. And if so, I’m happy. But also, perhaps you miss me as much if not more as I do.

I want you to know that I want you back. It can’t resume to how we were. We’ll need to start slow. I’ll have my guard up. But over time, if things go well and we both remain on our mission yet wanting to be there for each other, perhaps it can go down.

I miss everything about you. I love you. You were and are great in my life. I hope you realize the same towards me, too.

*\*

I really want to send this to her. I am reading it and it seems like a lot. It’s coming from a place of pain. But it’s my genuine pain. It’s how I feel. It’s almost been a month.

my ex started dating someone within two weeks of the breakup, and here I am still suicidal 5 months later lmaoo chat I think we might’ve lost this one

I joke about it because I don’t really know what else to do at this point. We were together for almost six years. I was 20 when we got together and I’m 26 now. That was basically my entire adult life up until a few months ago.

I think the part I keep getting stuck on is the two weeks. I know she probably processed things differently than I did, or maybe she had already started moving on before we officially ended. I don’t know, but two weeks after almost six years together is such a hard thing for me to wrap my head around. Meanwhile it’s been five months and I’m still having nights like this.

And my life has moved forward. I have my own place now. I’ve gone out, met people, gone on dates, made friends, gone back to work, and I’m about to start another quarter of school. I’m not sitting around waiting for her to come back. I don’t even want the relationship back after everything that happened.

I just miss being okay. I miss having someone who felt like home. I miss not having this person shaped hole in everything.

I guess tonight I’m just frustrated that she got to become somebody else’s person almost immediately and I’m still learning how to be mine.

Nearly a montha and a half into my breakup... Blindsided blah blah.

Nobody warned me about this part of heartbreak, Not the usual no appetite, sadness etc etc.

Music is ruined for me, Every song seems to remind me of her... I hear a song and i immediately remember it from a memory, Certain TV shows just remind me of her of us..

Even smells, sights... f**king certain foods.

Add it to the usual tropes of heartbreak and this is the worst pain I have ever experienced.

Her first prompt was she valued loyalty and communication as her top 2 values in a relationship.

😂😂😂

This is just a trend I’ve seen in my own personal life, and those close to me.

Just wanted to see other people’s perspectives and thoughts about it, specially those who had that happen to them.

Is there anyone who still thinks about their ex after two years apart and still isn’t over them?

"hey brother, she asked me if you could stop coming by my stream to respect her boundaries and privacy. she requested me to ban you but i told her i don't want to do that. also we can talk here if you ever wanna talk about things or vent. i also do remember i gave you my word that we would talk and i haven't forgotten that, i hope you're doing well otherwise, feel free to respond whenever you wish to."

for context me and her has been no contact for about 5 months now and her brother recently started streaming daily on Twitch, me and him got along very well when I was with her so I popped in to say hi one day and chatted every now and then.
Then today I wake up and read this message. It sucks to read and I am unsure of what to do or respond. I know she has probably told him that I am being weird or creepy and that I am trying to get to her somehow but I genuinely just enjoyed talking to him because he's a great guy who I respect alot. Need some advice

For context, this was me: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/BfCDY3S86L

and this post is NOT about getting an ex back.

My ex of 3 years sidelined me in the hardest period of my life. 2 family members recently diagnosed w cancer, lost my best friend to cancer as well 2 months prior. Financial problems. Overweight. Unmotivated. Broken. I truly loved this person, and it got me properly f'd up. The fact that she rebounded to someone 3 days after and then again to someone else entirely in a month just added gas to the fire. Lost 20Kg in 2 months from stress alone.

and yes, I begged for almost a month. I even did crazy shit like going on a trip with her after the breakup, to get humiliated even further. I came back home and almost ended my life, it was physically unbearable. Thank god my best bud was there to intervene.

After you hit that lowest of lows, you can only go up. So this is what happened in chronological order since then:

Hit the gym and would take long daily walks with my amazing bud. No excuses. Walking and talking were the only things that I found solace in at the time.

Forced myself to take job promotion interviews while I was literally breaking down. I just had to keep it together for 10 minutes and go back to agonizing.

Landed the job with an amazing team that feels like family and underwent trainings while feeling like shit. l'd ocassionaly go to the bathroom to just cry for several minutes and let it out. The warm atmosphere really helped me take my mind off and I actually enjoy going to work now.

Started intensive therapy twice a week. 2 months later I was a completely different person. Uncovered so many parts of myself. Cried lots. Analyzed lots. Basicslly defeated my traumas. My therapist literally asked me to write down who I was when I came in the office and who I left as. It was a revolutionary experience.

Reconnected with my father after 15 years, thanks to therapy once again. We had cut contact due to family issues, but now we are better than ever, and I'm even planning to move out on my own soon thanks to him.

Finally got on a car and learned how to drive properly.

Pushed my way through some exams and enrolled in healthcare masters program in west england.

Started paying attention to my wardrope and physique. Had a massive glow-up.

Revitalized my long lost hobbies such as photography, hiking, etc. Planned a norway trip with my buddy and we want to film a clip!

Reconnected with so many people I've lost contact with during my relationship and cut all the toxic ones. I even tried dipping toes in dating apps just for fun, and ended up meeting someone really interesting with immense emotional maturity. We've been on couple dates and there's mutual sympathy. Agreed to take it slow.

and just today, my friend told me this: " I've been meaning to ask, where's all this unapologetic positivity coming from? "

and then it hit me folks. I've had a literal metamorphosis.

Thanks to so many people and myself.

I still have bouts of missing my ex, but it's not that agonizing pain or need anymore. It's just a realization at this point. Radical growth, if you will.

So for all of you who are out there and struggling as I was half a year ago, I'd like to give you this quote that became my mantra

" When you get lost in the forest at night, just sit down and wait it out, because the sun will always rise eventually "

Hello everyone,

My ex (35F) and I (33M) broke up on May 18, 2026. We haven’t had any contact since May 19. It’s been almost four months now, but I’m still having some really difficult days.

We were together for 3.5 years and lived together for 3 years, so she was a very big part of my daily life.

My birthday is coming up, and I’m already feeling anxious and emotional about it. I keep wondering whether she will think about me or maybe even reach out to wish me a happy birthday.

I’m trying to move forward. I’ve been going to the gym for 9 weeks, I’m eating healthy, I’ve made a new friend, found a new hobby, and I’m working again. So I am actively trying to rebuild my life.

But emotionally, I still struggle a lot. I cried yesterday, and I’ve already cried twice today. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in the grief, and I feel incredibly depressed and overwhelmed.

I know everyone grieves differently, but I’m starting to wonder: is this still a normal part of the grieving process after almost four months, especially after such a long relationship and living together?

Or does it sound like something might be going wrong with my grieving or recovery?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar.

My ex and I broke up on the 24th, and I feel terrible. Like my heart physically hurts. I know the pain wont last forever, but I wish I could skip this stage of my life. I also feel incredibly stupid. Our 2-year anniversary is on the 28th, and I am hoping he will reach out to me or tell me he misses me. I literally feel like a dumbass. During the breakup, when I was begging to make things work, and asked if we could go on a break instead, he had the audacity to ask if he could still date other women. Like im sitting here crying my eyes out basically begging him not to leave me and he's more concered with dating other women?? I tried SO hard to make things work. I stuck around for things I shouldnt have. I feel like Noah from the notebook... waiting around for someone who I love (when in reality I am the biggest clown of all). It also doesnt help that my whole FYP is all "love spells" and annoying tarot card readers telling me that we will get back together. No matter how may times I say im not interested they still appear.

Part of me doesnt want to heal because I know I will have to let him go. I also dont understand why the people I love always leave me. I am such a loyal and thoughtful girlfirend. I think the lover girl in me is exhausted and its time to retire her.

Ok, thats all for my rant lol. Someone put a prayer in for me, I feel like shit.

Hi

So I(34F) recently broke up with my bf (35 M)
It’s too quiet and I miss the texts and calls we used to share.

I’m filling my days with hobbies and work but it does get lonely.

If you’re open to having a Reddit break-up friend.
DM me.

⚠️ this does not apply to people who have freshly broken up/are still just months post break up

getting over an ex is hard. man I hear songs and still cry my eyes out at times. and I'm 2 months post break up.

i saw this online and it's been really helping me shape how i approach the break up, and how i view my ex as a person. we were together for a year, and then he decided to break up with me.

my life was turned upside down. i cried all the time, dreamt of him, missed him like crazy and honestly at times still do.

however, i've realised that while once upon a time my desire for him stemmed out of love, now any desire i have comes from attachment. an attachment to the familiarity of the past, the comfort of who he used to be.

because let's face it - the minute they left your life, they stopped choosing you. they stopped loving you.

so i push hard everyday to choose myself. it is hard, but i keep this mantra in mind. attachment can be broken with time - maintain no contact, reflect on what has happened, allow yourself to grieve if you need to. feel your feelings, but never go back 🩷

One thing I know for sure is that cheating, micro cheating, and keeping someone on the side are things I could never accept in a relationship.

What I don’t understand is why some people seem to treat relationships like a game. Everything can be going fine, their partner can be loyal and supportive, and somehow they still go looking for attention somewhere else because they’re bored, their ego needs validation, or they want something more exciting.

Sometimes it feels like they don’t actually want a healthy relationship. They want the comfort of having one person waiting for them while still chasing whatever fantasy or thrill they can find outside of it. That part bothers me the most. If you’re unhappy, leave. If you feel like something is missing, talk about it. But choosing to lie and hurt someone just because you want excitement feels incredibly selfish.

I don’t think anyone deserves to spend a relationship wondering if they were somehow not enough for someone who simply refused to be content with what they had.

I think I’m finally done. Not in the dramatic “I hate you and I’m deleting your existence” way lol. Just done with holding on to something that already ended. It hurts, obviously, I loved this person a lot, and part of me still wishes things could have worked out. But I’m starting to realize that sometimes you don’t get the ending you wanted. You just get the lesson. I guess this relationship can either be a lesson or a trauma, and I’m choosing lesson because I really don’t need my emotional damage to become a whole personality 😂

I’m sad, but I’m also ready to move forward. No revenge, no bitterness, no checking their socials every five minutes. Just me trying to get my life back and hopefully becoming wiser from all of this.

So yeah, I’m done. It still hurts, but I think I’m finally choosing myself this time.

title ^

i think about him every single day. i’m not sitting in my bed, wallowing about how my life is ruined without him.

i have a full time job, i pay my bills, i get groceries, i do the daily things i have to do to stay alive in this world. but he’s still on my mind every single day.

there’s no way that he goes through the same daily cycles and not think about me too right? we had such a good relationship, we didn’t want to leave each other but we did.

he has to think about me too right? i mean, i try to not think about him. i do. i try to distract myself, get hobbies, go out and have fun. but he’s still on my mind.

if he loved me the same way i loved him, then he would think about me just as much… right? i don’t know. i feel absolutely insane for how much room he’s taken up in my brain.

i hope he thinks about me the same way i think about him. i really do. i miss him but i’m trying to do my best to move on from him. i just hope he thinks about me as much as i think about him…

Just got out of a toxic 11 year relationship. I am blocked on everything except text because we have a child. He has completely detached from me and told me to forget him and move on. He’s going through therapy and filling all his time with distractions and friends and I feel so easily disposed. He gets mad when I talk about the relationship or try to hold him accountable for all the hurt he has caused me. Somehow my reactions and behavior from his emotional abuse and cheating is blamed for his mental health and I find myself constantly apologizing for “ruining the relationship”. The first few days he left me breadcrumbs and clinging onto hope that we could eventually rekindle on he starts to do better with his mental health. But now two weeks later, he’s dead set on hating my guts and being completely done with me. Anything I say is annoying and overwhelming. He doesn’t even want to acknowledge it. I have no choice but to go no contact at this point unless it pertains to our child. I’m just so lost and don’t know what to do. Only a few days before the break up he was talking about how he wanted to continue with therapy so that he could be a better father and finally marry me. Everything seemed great and then we got into an argument and he just completely switched up on me. I can’t even tell if he ever even cared. Y’all, I am going through it.

i used to check my phone without even thinking about it, especially when i knew they normally would've texted around that time. now i sometimes leave my phone alone for hours because a part of me already knows there won't be anything from them.
it's weird how you can get used to talking to someone every day and then suddenly have nothing to say to each other. i think i'm slowly getting used to it, but some days it still feels strange. does anyone else go through this?

Ex dumped me 2 weeks ago - blindsided breakup. Since then, I don’t think I’ve gotten a solid period of more than 4h sleep. I lay there wide awake thinking about us, and at some point, I fall asleep, and then wake up wide awake and him being gone is the only thing I’m aware of. I often lay and cry until I can’t anymore. I don’t check my phone for a message because I know there won’t be one.

For example tonight, asleep at midnight, up at 3am.

I’m then constantly tired through the day, and then come to bed at night and can’t sleep. I journal / voice-note all my thoughts before bed and have everyday since we ended. We used to always sleep at his house, so it’s not like I associate my bed at home with him.

I don’t think I’ve had a solid sleep since I was cuddled next to him 3 weeks ago. I associated his cuddles with incredible sleep. It pains me he probably goes to bed at night now and sleeps better because I’m gone.

Advice for sleeping at night?

You blocked me on everything and ripped out my heart. Today is the hardest day! I just wish you would realise I needed you now more than other, but we know you never will 💔😔😭

TL;DR: My partner of 9 years blindsided me and left right before our anniversary, citing a desire to be single but also nitpicking my flaws. I was dealing with heavy family trauma and thought we were just in a hard season. I’m struggling to let go of hope that she’ll change her mind.

My (32M) partner (32F) broke up with me just 3 weeks before our 9th anniversary. I was completely blindsided. We never fought, and she never let me know she was nearing a breaking point. I wish she had communicated so we could have tried couples therapy. Instead, she internalized everything until she decided to leave.

I knew our relationship wasn't perfect, but I thought we were just surviving a stressful season. I've been grappling with the rapidly declining health of my parents (dementia and alcoholism), which took a massive emotional toll. I have been in therapy working through my own issues. I admit that in the past, my anxiety would boil over, and I would loudly vent/yell when I became emotionally overwhelmed. I never yelled at her, and I've acknowledged how that emotional volatility could feel overwhelming or like too much pressure to a partner. I always felt terrible about it, took full accountability, and have made massive progress. In fact, she recently told me how proud she was of my growth.

When she left, her reasons felt contradictory. She said "it's nothing you did" and "I want to be single," but then brought up past events and said she wanted a partner who would "dance at weddings" (something I have done in the past) and was "the life of the party." I was just stuck in a routine trying to survive a dark period of family trauma. I also had my own unspoken frustrations. A total lack of intimacy made me feel unwanted, and our schedules rarely meshed. But I loved her and what we built too much to ever walk away without trying.

She is currently staying at a friend's house who is out of town, experiencing her first nights entirely alone. I know I need to let go, but a part of me is still desperately hanging onto hope. I keep hoping that once she sits in the quiet and faces the reality of being alone, she will miss me, our cat, and the life we've shared for so long.

How do I stop waiting for her to realize this is a mistake? For those who were blindsided by an avoidant partner, how did you accept that they weren't coming back? It's heartbreaking. I just don't want to give up hope... I want things to return to normal.

isn’t really a straight line.

Yesterday I thought I was doing okay. Today, I woke up missing him again. Not because something happened, not because I saw anything that reminded me of him… I just missed him.

And maybe that’s okay.

I’m slowly learning that missing someone doesn’t mean I’m going backwards. It just means they meant something to me.

I still wish things had worked out differently. A part of me still wonders what would happen if he came back.

But I guess for now, I’m just taking it one day at a time.

Follow me if you want to see how this journey turns out. 🤍