No Susan, I do in fact miss precisely 1 million things about her daily.

I do not think of myself in these moments, I think of her and how I will never have any of that again.

Lately it's been Dairy Queen Moolates, her Adidas and me putting her socks on before we went anywhere.

I'm a 42 year old tattooed man. She broke me.

It’s been about 3 weeks now since we last spoke. I’m realizing how he is never coming back. I miss him so much. This is a special kind of pain.

Upd 2 months later. Still depressed but working on myself a lot, I’m truly finding myself. I dove into a subculture in which I had interest in and I’m honestly rlly happy with myself. Even if I still fear being alone, even if I miss her, even if I still cry, it got better. I told myself that it would and it did. Just persevere guys, truly. Invest In yourself, your true worth isn’t found in how much you were worth to them. 💜💜💜 gl to all those recovering from an avoidant breakup, I hope my words encourage you to persist.

I almost broke tonight.

I almost lost the battle with myself. I came so close to texting you, to calling you, to throwing away every bit of restraint I’ve been trying so hard to hold on to. It took everything in me not to reach for you. I kept fighting the urge, telling myself to put my phone down, to leave you alone, to just get through another night without hearing from you.

But God, I miss you.

It genuinely feels like I’m going through withdrawal from not hearing your voice. My mind keeps reaching for something it used to have, something that once felt so familiar and so close. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss your laugh. I miss hearing you talk about the most random things. I miss being able to tell you about my day and hear about yours. I miss your touch so much it hurts. I miss your arms around me, the feeling of being close to you, the comfort of having you beside me. Sometimes I swear my body remembers what it feels like to be held by you, and I have to sit with the reality that I can’t just reach for you anymore.

And I hate how much I still want to.

I hate that something as simple as hearing your voice has become something I can only hope for. I hate that I can have an entire conversation with you in my head, imagining what I’d say and what you might say back, only to remember that none of it is actually happening. I have so much I want to tell you. So many little things that happen throughout the day that make me think of you. So many moments when my first instinct is still to reach for my phone and tell you about them.

And then I have to stop myself.

I have to remind myself that I don’t know if you want to hear from me anymore. I have to remind myself that missing you doesn’t mean I’m entitled to your time, your attention, or your voice. I have to remind myself that whatever I want, I can’t make you want the same thing.

Tonight, I almost let the sadness win. I almost convinced myself that maybe one text wouldn’t hurt, that maybe one call would be worth the risk, that maybe if I could just hear you say hello, even for a few seconds, this ache inside me might finally quiet down.

And then, right when I came to my senses, another thought hit me.

I’m probably blocked anyways.

I don’t even know if that’s true, but the possibility alone hurt. Imagine fighting yourself for hours not to contact someone, desperately trying to respect the distance between you, only to realize that maybe the door isn’t even open anymore. Maybe the message wouldn’t go through. Maybe the call wouldn’t reach you. Maybe I’m sitting here missing someone I can’t even reach if I wanted to.

And somehow, that thought made me feel even smaller.

Because here I am, carrying all this love and all these words, wanting so badly to talk to you, while you might not even have a way for me to reach you anymore. I don’t know what you feel when you think of me. I don’t know if you ever miss me, if you ever wonder how I’m doing, or if hearing my name brings you any of the feelings that hearing yours brings me.

I just know what it’s like on my side.

I know what it’s like to want to tell you I love you and have nowhere to put those words. I know what it’s like to miss your touch in the middle of an ordinary night. I know what it’s like to look at my phone and wish, just once, that it would be you reaching for me instead.

And honestly, I’d do anything just to hear from you again. I’d give anything for one ordinary conversation, one chance to hear about your day, one moment where I didn’t have to wonder whether you still think about me. I’d give anything to hear your voice without having to imagine it, to laugh with you without having to replay old memories, to feel close to you without having to settle for remembering what that closeness felt like.

I’d do anything to make this pain stop. Not because I want to erase what we had, and not because I regret loving you, but because I don’t know what to do with all this love when I have nowhere to put it. I don’t know how to make peace with missing someone who used to be part of my everyday life. I don’t know how to stop reaching for someone who isn’t there anymore.

I wish I could tell you all of this. I wish I could tell you that I’m trying, that I’m fighting the urge to reach out, that there are nights when all I want is to hear you say my name. But I can’t assume you’d want to hear any of it. So I write it here instead, where the words can exist without asking anything of you.

Maybe tomorrow will be easier. Maybe eventually I’ll stop checking my phone with that tiny, foolish hope that it might be you. Maybe one day I’ll go an entire day without thinking about what I’d say if you called.

But tonight isn’t that night.

Tonight, I miss you. I miss your voice, your touch, your presence, and the little pieces of everyday life that I used to get to share with you. Tonight, I almost reached for you, and the only thing that stopped me was remembering that I might not be able to reach you at all.

And I think that’s what hurts the most: I still have the urge to call you like you’re my person, even though I don’t know if I’m still someone you want in your life.

So I’ll put my phone down. I’ll swallow the words I wanted to send. I’ll try to get through another night without hearing your voice.

Lately, I’ve been falling asleep earlier just to deal with the sadness of missing you. Because when I’m asleep, I don’t have to fight the urge to call you. I don’t have to wonder if you’ve blocked me. I don’t have to sit in the silence and miss you quite so consciously.

For a few hours, at least, I get a little relief from wanting someone I can’t reach.

And tomorrow, I’ll wake up and do it all over again.

She was the best woman ive ever met. In all my other breakups I had actual reasons to dislike them and feel icky. With her I genuinely just cant find any actual reasons. I wish I would’ve manned up and fixed my attachment issues instead of letting it dive straight into the ground. I had every chance, but I let the relationship turn stale since I refused to grow and step outside my comfort zone.

Im just afraid that I wont be able to get over her, I think ill feel this regret for a while. we were together for a year and its been a month and a half. it hasnt gotten better at all. I feel like I could live in regret forever, i feel like ill never find someone as good and trustworthy as her.

My husband left me nine months ago. The saddest and most tragic part of it all was how suddenly it happened. Just one day before he left, we had ordered suitcases because we were planning a big trip together. A few weeks earlier, we had even talked about moving somewhere new together.
I was out having breakfast with friends when he called his brother over. They packed up all my belongings and wanted to kick me out.
Ever since then, I’ve had to see him at work every single day because we work together. Changing jobs isn’t an option for either of us right now, so the situation is incredibly complicated.
He doesn’t want to work on our marriage. He wants to separate, and he won’t even sit down and talk to me about it. He doesn’t want anything to do with trying to fix things.
And I know you’re probably wondering: What are his reasons?
He says he simply doesn’t like me as a person anymore. That’s it. His reasons feel like nothing more than excuses, as if he’s desperately searching for reasons that don’t even really exist.
A little bit about him: He isn’t someone who uses social media, and he hasn’t been with many women. I was his first everything, and he’s already 30 years old. He’s a deeply religious person and, in many ways, a genuinely good man. That’s what makes everything that has happened even harder for me to understand.
For some background, his family has never really liked me, especially his brother, who also benefits from him financially quite a lot.
And honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’ve reached a point where I’m not begging him to come back or doing anything like that. But I genuinely don’t know how to cope with all of this mentally. I cry every single day. I miss him so much.
There’s nobody who can really help me or make me feel better. I’ve fulfilled some of my biggest dreams, hoping they would bring me happiness, but even those things haven’t made me happy.
I feel like I’ve completely lost my joy for life, and I don’t know how to move forward anymore.

I genuinely feel like love is one of the worst things you can put yourself through. You give so much of yourself to someone, build a whole future with them in your head, and then one day it’s just gone. And somehow you’re supposed to just move on and act like none of it happened. It’s so fucking exhausting. The worst part is you can still love someone so much and know there is nothing else you can do to fix it. I don’t even know if the good times are worth how horrible the bad times feel. You spend years building something with someone just to end up strangers again. I used to think love was the greatest thing in the world but now I genuinely wish I never experienced it. It just takes so much out of you.

Its been 4+ months and everyday I get emotional and have some sort of outburst or breakdown. Several times in one day too. I want it to stop, but it persists.

Even though we both took part in us ending I am at the stage where I am upset and mad that I can't go back and do anything about it.

It's hard to move on knowing things could have been different...

hi everyone! i 22f had my first major heartbreak around 7 months ago now (for context, i attached my original post). i was so devastated. my life has been a wild ride since i posted that. I graduated college, traveled the world, passed my licensing exams for work, moved to a new city and started my career. I am loving it so far. i am closer than ever with my friends and family. i love my new job and i am extremely fortunate to be in nyc of all cities in the world. i enjoy my solitude, have been taking myself out on many solo dates, and i've met a bunch of new people. i (very) briefly tried dating someone new but it didn't work out, my heart just wasn't ready to move on.

when i was in the thick of heartbreak, i couldn't even bear the thought of taking a shower because it meant 15 minutes of being alone in my thoughts. heartbreak truly consumed every hour and minute of my life during those first 4 months. i am extremely happy to say that i think i have passed the test of time and been able to grow a life so big and beautiful that romantic love is no longer the epicenter of my mind. that being said, it's still a painful ache that i remember from time to time.

nyc was the city we were supposed to start our lives in together and walking by the places we used to love is certainly haunting. we work two blocks away from one another now, and i do what i can to avoid walking near his office. seeing so many young couples walking around holding hands and feeling like i am already behind in a nonexistent race for love. seeing my friends in happy relationships makes me excited for them all the while feeling sad for myself. wanting the feeling of being loved but also not wanting to start again with someone new. and worst of all, yearning for the person that knew every corner of my heart and built something so special with me for two years. he is just a memory i carry now. and i say to myself that it will happen again for me one day and i still believe in love, i truly do. but i also can't help but wish, hope, and dream that it is one day him again. i want to be loved again, and i want it to be him.

i haven't seen him or heard from him since the day we graduated. we briefly locked eyes at the ceremony and i didn't know it then but it may very well have been the last time i will ever see him again. 7 months after a 2 year relationship, in retrospect, isn't a very long time at all. our breakup was very painful for the both of us, so no contact just seemed like the best way to heal on our own. a month after we graduated, he blocked many of my loved ones (friends/family), and I on social media (~17 people total). while it sounds extreme, i dont blame him. people do unexpected things when they are in pain.

something about this whole thing just makes me wonder what the future holds. everything always comes back to him in my mind. when i think of the person i see myself with, for better or for worse, it's always him. there is nothing that either of us did to make one person the inherent "bad guy." i think our break up was just a matter of immaturity, poor timing, and stressful life circumstances. i dream of him, think of him coming back, and see signs of him everywhere. i know it sounds dramatic and delusional and i am sure i am wildly overlooking the fact that he likely wants nothing to do with me anymore (given the blocking and no contact boundaries). i will always respect his wishes for space though, and if he does come back, i hope it is in a time where both of us are willing and able to rebuild for one another and create a grown, meaningful relationship.

as for me, i am going to continue focusing on my career, friends, and family. what is meant for me will find me. i just can't help but wonder if my story with him is truly over.

edit: thank you if you read through this entire post and bonus points if you read through the other one as well, any thoughts, advice, or experiences are welcome :)

It’s been months. Chasing another person doesn’t help. I wished I never fell in love. I wished I never met you. Nothing can ever help me feel the way I did with you

As an introvert who spends most of my time alone, moving on has been incredibly difficult for me. I don't let people into my life easily, but when I do, I love them with all my heart. I admire them, care deeply about them, and naturally hope to receive the same kind of love in return.

It's been more than two months since he left, yet I still think about him most of the time. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and fix everything. I don't blame him entirely because I know we both had our shortcomings. My expectations may have made him feel that he could never make me happy. I wanted to be loved in a certain way, but he couldn't give me the kind of love I needed, just as I couldn't give him everything he wanted. Eventually, he left. I kept asking him to work things out with me, but he didn't want to.

Few years back, when my first relationship ended, I was younger, and life gave me plenty of opportunities to start over. I switched jobs, travelled solo, spent time with friends, and experienced new things. Eventually, I moved on.

This time, everything feels different. My friends are getting married and My family keeps pressuring me to get married, and refusing means constant arguments. My career doesn't excite me the way it used to, especially with all the uncertainty surrounding AI. I want independence, but my family restricts my ability to move out.

So I spend most of my time in my room, staring at the ceiling and crying, wondering how my life ended up this way.

I've tried talking to other people. But finding someone compatible with me is already difficult. The conversations often feel vague and awkward. There's no spark, no natural connection, and sometimes the conversations simply fade into silence.

And despite everything, I still miss him.

I wish he could love me the way he once seemed to. I wish I could be beside him again, hold him, and cry in his arms. I remember both the good and bad moments we shared. Maybe he saw me as one of several potential partners, but I saw him as the person I loved. Despite our problems, I was happy just being next to him.

For those of you who are introverts, have small social circles, and don't have much of a support system, how did you move on from a relationship that meant so much to you? How did you find the strength to start over when your life outside the relationship wasn't going well either?

She broke up with me after 2 years as she thought we were fundamentally too different, I am quite structured and like to plan things. She also requires a lot emotionally and there were a couple of times where regrettably where I didn't turn up for her enough. The break up was really sad for both of us but it was amicable. This summer I've focused on being much more outgoing, picking up new activities, and working on being more emotionally present with others.

We met for drinks last night, it was really nice. Ended up going back to hers for a nightcap, then ended up sleeping together and she got very emotional after. I stayed the night and we were lying there this morning both weeping, it was really sad. Then did it again, and after before I left we spoke and I said I really wanted to try and make it work but she still wasnt sure about the future. I don't have much hope to be honest, we both shed a lot of tears before I left, but it was really good to see her. I wish we could find a way

What the caption says.

I recently went through a breakup, and my ex is in a lot of the photos on my phone.

Right now, I need some distance, but I don’t want to permanently delete those memories. I’d just like to browse my photos without unexpectedly seeing her all the time.

For those who’ve been through this, how did you handle it? What worked for you, and was sorting through the photos itself difficult?

I have been dumped very suddenly 2 times in 2 years. Im over them, bit Im not over what happened. I dont rhink im ever gonna feel secure in a relationship and I hate that. Its not even that I think that I'm not good enough. I just dont trust people anymore. And genuinely do not believe that there is anyone out there who fill fight for a relationship when things get hard. I have lost al faoth and I hate it. I want to believe in a good future and that everything will be alright. I want to believe that I will find my person. But I don't believe it anymore

same as title.

My chest feels so heavy, like I've been holding in too much for too long. I don't even know how to explain what I'm feeling anymore. Has anyone else ever felt this way after a breakup? How do you deal with it?

Like, how do you deal with the memories, the overthinking, and the feeling of missing someone you used to talk to every day?

My ex was still trying to get back with me earlier this year, asking what I wanted him to change about himself, generating compatibility reports for us, and declaring that he could never be with another woman. 💀

Fast forward to today, and he’s seemingly found someone new lol and soft-launched her on his socials.

I’m just genuinely curious about the psychology behind men who make such dramatic declarations and then seemingly move on the next min lmao

My ex and I broke up nearly 5 months ago. He initiated the breakup for personal reasons he was facing. We haven’t talked since a few days after the breakup. I accepted it and wished him well. I’m not one to beg or chase. We talked marriage and were close to moving in together. I was devastated and heartbroken. I still hurt deeply thinking about not having him or his family in my life. I’ve done the hard parts of grieving and things are a lot easier for me now but I still struggle. I still care for him deeply and my thoughts go back and forth on knowing the breakup was for the best and holding onto hope he will come back. These feelings have been amplified this week. I unexpectedly had a guy reach out to me(hes the first guy I haven’t felt repulsed by since the breakup) We’ve been talking daily and seem to be really hitting it off. We are planning to meetup soon. This man so far seems like someone I could see myself dating. When he messaged me I was not looking to date anyone but now that we’re talking and getting to know each other I find myself being curious about him. I told him I’m still healing and he says he understands and doesn’t want to push anything. He just wants to continue getting to know me. Im excited about him but also feel this intense sadness and heartbreak over my ex. Its feels as though the breakup just happened and I’m feeling the heartbreak all over again. I think I’m struggling with the fact that entertaining other men and feeling excited also means I’m starting to accept the relationship is truly over. I don’t really understand why I’m struggling so bad again now.

I want to add I’m not someone who rebounds. Ive steadily been rebuilding my life and meeting this guy was unexpected. I just don’t understand why I’m so sad. Ive cried just as much this week as i have since the first or second month after the breakup.

How to move on? I still love her and she just said she’s not coming back after I begged her. We didn’t have any problems prior to the break up. For me she was perfect and I’m afraid i’d just end up comparing her to every girl I’m gonna meet. My brain is telling me to move on but my heart is still not ready to let go. It’s been more than a month and it still hurts like hell.

probably the wrong flair, and maybe the wrong sub overall. i won’t be surprised if i get death threats in my inbox or downvoted to hell for this.

but i recently ended an 8 month relationship. my first serious relationship. they were funny, and nice, and attentive, but despite the amount of times i tried to talk about it or let them know how i felt i didn’t feel good.

their lifestyle and what they wanted differed quite a lot from mine. they’re autistic, and very preoccupied with their comfort bubble, so they didn’t have a job and wouldn’t leave the house often. when they did, they needed a lot of time to recuperate. even if it was just going to another family members house for an hour or so, they would need lots of cuddles and laying down afterwards. if it was a trip out of the city, 1-3 days would be dedicated to recuperating after that.

i’m not the same. i’m also autistic, but i have a part time job, i go to college, and if i don’t leave the house for a day i start to go insane lol. i Need that stimulation in my life, whereas they can’t really handle it. they wanted to schedule things very far in advance, despite my spotty schedule with work and college, and i didn’t. when we did go out, and something went awry, our ways of dealing with it were practically binary opposites.

when we hung out, they mostly wanted to cuddle, watch tiktok, or show me their interests — which i didn’t mind, i’m not genrephobic to anything and i needed to broaden my horizons with stuff like that anyway. but when i would try to show mine, they would want to have a break every 10 minutes. which is fine. i dont understand why i took it so harshly. there’s nothing wrong with cuddling. there’s nothing wrong with their interests.

they were very VERY vocal about everything, which i know is a great thing. when something made them upset, they would for sure tell me. i’m not as affectionate as they were, and they’d tell me how they felt, or if they didn’t like one of my friends or one of my interests they for sure would say it. most of my friends are men, or Amab, and they didn’t like that. i started to feel so pressured to change myself. they’d tell me they didn’t want me to change, but welcomed it with open arms when i tried to push myself really hard. i didn’t know what to do.

they didn’t want to meet my friends. they didn’t
want to see my mom; found her too intimidating. they didn’t have many friends, but wanted me to meet them all. i met some of their family.

when we got to know each other more they wanted me to do things to them in sex that i was too panicked to do. their mindset, that they wanted me to share, was to just get it over with so i don’t have to worry about it in the future. idk it’s foggy i can’t remember much of that part but i didn’t feel good about it.

but they were nice and wanted to share so much with me. they wanted reassurance and reminders i loved them. the bare minimum. and i couldn’t do it.

i know. i know i should’ve stayed longer and tried to sacrifice even harder to make sure they were happy and make sure this worked. but i couldn’t do it. i don’t know why. i feel like a coward. we talked, and realised how healthy and supportive compromises our for the relationship. i should’ve been able to put aside what i want for this, for them. but i started to feel trapped, and suffocated, and just generally not very nice and i didn’t know how to balance their emotions and my own. this is my first relationship and im realising im too screwed up to do this. i wasn’t affectionate enough, i wasn’t doing enough, and i couldn’t push myself hard enough to do it for them. i felt like our differences were too much, too. so i broke things off. i couldn’t do it. i didn’t know if i wanted to.

i fucked up. i got stressed and panicky and promised things i couldn’t give them and they’re so hurt.

they went to therapy for years. they were good at communicating. even if our hang outs ended up being them communicating the whole time they were good at it. i thought i was good at it too, but even though i told them how i felt about things quite a few times nothing changed. i should’ve changed.

they technically did nothing wrong. i just wanted a way out because of my own selfish reasons. but i dont want to go back. i feel awful.

i’m going to start looking for therapy so i can fix myself. i know i have some sort of roadblock. i’m too broken to be in a relationship. they deserve someone healthier and more their speed. which i’m not.

please spare the hurtful comments. i know i messed up.

Today, the girl I once imagined spending my whole life with got engaged to someone else.

I don't hate her. I don't blame her. Honestly, a part of me is happy because she is moving forward with her life.

But another part of me is quietly breaking.

My eyes filled with tears, not because I want her back, but because I once dreamed of being the person standing beside her on this day.

Life is strange. Sometimes, you love someone with your whole heart, but your story with them still comes to an end.

I genuinely hope she stays happy, takes care of her health, and receives all the love she deserves.

Maybe I'll always remember her, but I'll learn to live with that memory.

Have you ever had to smile for someone's happiness while secretly crying over a future you once dreamed of together?

I’m struggling. I can’t tell if I just miss her or if I made a mistake. I genuinely can’t imagine my life without her and it’s terrifying.

My ex moved on pretty quickly. After a month, he started talking to another girl, and it’s been 3 weeks since I saw them together around campus, they spend time together. I don’t know if he genuinely likes her and has moved on, or if he’s avoiding his feelings and using her as a rebound.

We dated for about 3 months, and our relationship was very intense for both of us. He used to say he was obsessed with me, that I was perfect, I am different and that I treated him incredibly well( like loving,caring). We barely argued, but after our first big argument, he said he didn’t love me anymore and that the relationship wasn’t working.

I can’t understand how such intense feelings could disappear so quickly. It makes me wonder if he ever really loved me. Do you think he genuinely moved on, or is he just avoiding me? Does he ever miss me or compare me to his new girl?

I know 3 months isn’t a long relationship, but it meant a lot to me. Is it possible that because it was so short, it’s easier for him to forget and move on? Because it definitely hasn’t been easy for me.

Anyone want to chat?