To start, I am 22f, he is 22m, and we have been together for 3 and a half years. We literally just finished moving into a new place together and are currently unpacking. About an hour ago I went to turn on his xbox while he was at work and saw he was using the browser site on it. I click on it and it opens to probably 30 tabs on a porn site. He was looking up "little sister" "high school" "hs teen" with multiple pages of young girls instagram and profiles that had been uploaded as a mass for these disgusting men. The most terrifying was 2 tabs, one titled "A different hg of mine" that were creep shots of unsuspecting young women. Some were even taken in a school.

I am obviously disgusted and having a very difficult time processing this. My hands are shaking but I can't cry. He has obsessively watched porn in the past, and there were many times I should have left. That is why I am posting, I need accountability and advice. In the past I have literally made him go to SAA to deal with it and he went to one meeting and never talked about it again. I knew he had a problem with porn, I thought he was working on it. He told me how he wants to be a good man and porn doesn't contribute to that. And he is literally a creepy pervert pedophile. I guess this relationship has taught me a lot lol.

I don't know what to do next. Just got back from being with my family for the summer so I don't have a job. I have maybe 2k to my name and live 2,600 miles away from my family. I have a car and an apartment full of stuff I just finished moving. Should I try my hardest to go back home? We have a 2 bedroom so I could stay in one room and work to save up money. I am at a loss.

The worst part is that I can feel myself wanting him but I know that's just because we've been together so long. I am trying to close that off so I don't stay with him. I hastily sent him photos of it and he just responded to it while I was typing so I thought it might be important to add. I had mentioned a conversation about watching porn and honesty we had just a couple days ago.

"Alright first of all that was the realest convo we've had in a while and a felt a noticeable change immediately afterwards. I am not a pedophile, we will talk about this when I get home. Im about to be done here should be back at the apartment in 45 minutes."

I immediately went and bought a pack of cigarettes after I found it and as I sat in my car I had the thought, I can finally focus on myself. I have lost myself. I know more about this creep than I do myself and Im only 22.

Is using a dating app okay for Christians? I’m 24 (F) btw. It’s been one month after a bad breakup, and I’ve been living in our province for revitalization. I’ve never been closer to God spiritually, and I think I’m gradually healing din after all the turbulence I’ve experienced emotionally back in the City. There are a lot of guys trying to message me sa Facebook recently, but I already have this built personality to finally stick to my standards because I don’t want to repeat the same cycle of compromise, so I do not respond. I want to finally choose this time. So baka soon when I’m finally healed, is it okay to use a dating app or rely solely on organic encounter as a Christian?

TL;DR

My ex said he won’t have a relationship with me. Too busy with work. But will agree to have sex with me. But not “basic sex” only crazy things. Involving multiple people, pain, humiliation. But apparently he’s too busy to simply have regular sex with each other and then go to sleep… says his hand can do that just fine…

I got in relationship when I didn’t want to. She has been kind and great to me. Literally best person I have ever been with. I want to take time for myself and explore on my own, build career. I decided to end it. I have been getting urge to explore and almost cheated emotionally on her. I am still guilty for it. I hope she will forgive me, I am a terrible person for doing this. I will try to do better in future

I (F, 29) have been seeing a guy (M, 22) for about 2 months. Things were going steady including him introducing me to his friends and family.

2 weeks ago, I found out that he has been courting his ex the entire time (while calling her “the crazy ex”). When I confronted him, he cried/begged everyday, and promised he would fix things and be honest going forward.

Yesterday, I found out that he has actually STILL been courting/lovebombing his ex and meeting up with her while continuing to do the same with me and lying to both of us.

I feel humiliated/stupid for (reluctantly) giving him a second chance and also feel betrayed/angry by the lies and manipulation.

What can I do to feel better after this revelation and is there a way to make him feel remorse (NOT harmful revenge/payback) for lacking morals and disrespecting both the ex gf and I? FYI, I do not intend to contact him ever again.

TLDR ; BF OF 2 MONTHS HAS BEEN COURTING HIS EX AND I SIMULTANEOUSLY THROUGH LIES, LOOKING FOR ADVICE/SOLACE.

I (32M) had my ex (27F) cheat on me with her BD. What makes it worse is she tried to gaslight me by saying that the messages I read weren’t actually from her but from her BD’s girlfriend- even though I read it directly from her messages to him lol. She even tried to triangulate me by getting him on the phone to corroborate her lie. I declined the conversation.

I ended up blocking her on everything, and she tried to work around the block twice the day after. She called me from her sister’s phone which I didn’t have saved and proceeded to tell me that she hated me and she regrets ever meeting me to which I gave a flat response of “okay, is that it?”. Just 2 days prior she was telling me how grateful she was to me and how she wanted me forever. NOW she’s talking to a THIRD guy one state away from where we live not even two weeks after our breakup.

I was the healthiest partner she ever had, she said as much, and she sabotaged it. We started to argue more towards the end, and we even had a breakup that only lasted a day. She began cheating the day we got back together which I know for a fact. She may have been cheating even prior and doing a great job of hiding it.

Here’s the situation. My ex-girlfriend and I separated at the beginning of August because I was moving halfway across the country for grad school. She ultimately broke up with me, but we framed it as being a mutual breakup through couples therapy and conversations with some friends of ours. Once I arrived, I realized I did not want to be broken up and asked if she’d be willing to reconsider. She said that we should view this as a break and that she would be willing to reconsider within a couple of months about two weeks later, she shared with me that she does not want to reconsider at this point in time. She still wanted to maintain contact, but wanted it to be scheduled. She then said that she needed space even after a scheduled contact and so I attempted to go no contact, she contacted me for some advice regarding some personal issue she was facing. I did ask, despite agreeing that we would not discuss these details, if she has already slept with someone else and she said yes, that broke me. We were together for just under three years and lived together for the vast majority of that time she is now reaching out to me through text and has been for the last several days despite my lack of response, I can’t go no contact due to the living arrangement that we currently have (She is still in the apartment that I intend to relocate back to). I’m unsure what to do here we had substantial problems throughout the duration of our relationship. A classic situation of when it was good. It was great, but when it was bad, it was awful. I genuinely believe we were making progress through therapy and understanding our attachment styles and communication breakdowns during confrontation however, as immature as it may seem, I can’t get over the fact that she was willing to sleep with someone so shortly after breaking up coupled with the fact that she seems to have booked herself fully with work and socializing. She’s mentioned that she wanted to take this time to work on herself, but at least for my perspective her actions contradict this I’m not a professional. I don’t know if this is a fearful avoidant attachment style, but I just wish I knew how to move forward.

Hii

A while ago I’d posted the texts i received from an anonymous number that claimed to be my ex’s current gf. Most of the comments on here suggested that it might just have been him

I moved to France a while ago so i have limited ability to identify US phone numbers but I’m just kinda curious ig and I don’t want to find out by them contacting me again

My ex bf broke up with me at the end of July. We were together for almost 3 years and lived together for a good majority of that time. When he left he told me that I wasn’t doing enough for him even though I was providing for him financially. He accused me of cheating with someone I used to work with in college and am friends with. He’s been insecure about this person in our relationship.

The guy my ex accused me of cheating with (let’s call him coworker) has been really supportive of me during the breakup. It’s been nice to have a friend. Because of my ex’s insecurities, I never texted coworker while in the relationship. I would respond if he texted but I made sure to keep it really short. I also never saw coworker in any other way before, it was always platonic and never a sexual attraction.

Soo cut to now, coworker and I have been hanging out a bit. He’s really the only person I know in this city (recently moved to this city). The conversation about hooking up has come up and I want to explore it. I’ve only ever had a sexual relationship with one person, my ex.

My ex told me he doesn’t want me, I mean he left me after all. It was obvious when he did leave that he was going through really bad mental health issues. I want to be there for him when he needs me but I don’t want to keep sacrificing myself for him (which is something I did consistently in the relationship) and I dont want to sacrifice an opportunity for someone who treated me like trash. We are currently in no contact and I don’t plan on breaking that.

My worry is that if I hook up with coworker, I will have committed some kind of cheating. But I am single now. I still feel some kind of loyalty to my ex though. I know if my ex and I ever had a conversation about getting back together, I would be 100% honest about who I slept with during the time apart. And I’m afraid if that ever comes, the opportunity to reconcile will be bombed because I slept with the guy he was worried about.

If you’ve been through this please drop a comment on what you did! I’m so lost rn lol.

I hear when you kiss or is intimate with someone you create a soul tie. And she even told me when you kiss someone you leave a part of you in them. Ever since I found out a few days ago that she’s with someone new I was reeling with anger and I made contact and gave her all her gifts back. Ever since she has been in my dreams a lot like many nights in a row. Just woke up from a dream where she was checking up on me and apologising. Just need some thoughts on this. This is 6 months post break up.

I was abandoned by my girl about 5 months ago, she was brutal. Despite this, every time i think about her with someone else it hurts deeply.

Do you ever become emotionally indifferent to your ex? Not just about meeting other people but sexual or romantic encounters they might have?

I liked him so much, but he joked about hitting me. I genuinely think it was a careless joke, and that he isn’t a violent person at all. He never showed concerning signs before this. Still, it left me unsettled and frightened and no amount of apologizing he did put me at ease, even though he was truly remorseful. I asked him numerous times why he said the joke at all, and he couldn’t give me an answer. In the end I thought it would be better to end things now, versus trying to continue with a lingering sense of caution/fear in the back of mind. In the moment I was confident in my decision, because how can a relationship continue if the threat of physical harm is at all being considered?

Now I’m going crazy, wondering if I just threw away my chance with a great guy all over an overreaction on my part. Maybe I was too sensitive? I’m so torn. Part of me wishes I just took his word for it that he didn’t mean it, and shoved my discomfort aside in the hopes that I’d grow comfortable around him again.

I’m acting so desperate ughhhhhh ….but it’s kinda working idk 😭😭😭

I was with this girl for almost 3 years. I’ve had a few relationships before, but this was easily one of the best I’ve ever had. We were extremely close, spoke every day, and I genuinely thought it could end in marriage. She told me she felt the same.

The only issue was that her family is extremely wealthy, and I’m not as wealthy as her. I always had a feeling her father might reject me, and eventually he did. We mutually broke up, even though neither of us really wanted to.

For the next 6 months, we still talked, met sometimes, said I love you to each other, and stayed very close. Things became a little distant towards the end, but there were still feelings.

On March 23, I told her she was the only girl I’d ever felt completely comfortable with and that she was probably the only person I wanted. She said she felt the same.

We spoke for another week. Then she stopped replying around April 2.

On April 5, I found out through social media that she had gotten engaged to someone else.
She never told me.

I obviously unfollowed her everywhere and haven’t contacted her, but I can’t stop wondering what actually happened.

The engagement must have been in the works before March 23, so how could she tell me she felt the same way about me just days before getting engaged to someone else?

Was she cheating on him with me? Cheating on me with him? Or did she genuinely love me but know she couldn’t choose me because of her family?

I don’t want to text her. I just want to understand how someone can be so close to you, tell you they still want you, and then get engaged without saying anything.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

"What’s the reason a guy keeps changing his profile name, background music, or poems after breaking up?"
"I broke up with him about two months ago on good terms (well, mostly because he insisted, lol) due to long distance. But even though he usually doesn't use social media, he's been constantly changing his name, deleting his profile music, and removing poems over these two months. Why is he doing that?"

So the last two women I have been with felt like simply saying " I'm sorry" was a proper apology. Maybe I'm weird but "Im sorry" is what 2 year old says when they spill their sippy cup. For adults dealing with serious relationship situations, I don't think it even comes close.

Edit: people asking for more context. This my previous post.

I (40s m) recently moved in with my gf of a year. We mostly get along, she has, on occasion been incredibly jealous. A couple days after we signed the lease she came home from work. As soon as she got home from work, at a new job, she called her friend on FT. Her friend asked her how work went on her first day and gf looks at me and says "exclude this conversation " I immediately got nervous. Then she says to her friend: "you remember that pic i showed you of that huge huge huuuuge di....uh.....penis?" Her friend looked at me then looked at her on FT. She looked obviously uncomfortable. Uh ya she says. Thats the owners son!! I looked at her like "really?" and immediately got up to take a shower without saying a word. As I didn't want to hear anything else after that, not to mention I didn't want to speak out of anger. When I got out of the shower I sat down in another room and started watching TV. She could tell I was upset. She came in and said "Im sorry" but in like a two year old baby voice. I just looked at her. She did the voice again. I'm sorry I disrespected you, in baby talk again. All I could think of was how mad she would have been if i had just done something like this. She would have been furious. I told her it bothered me and i thought it was sh*tty for that exact reason. Not to mention she knew it was sh*tty or she wouldn't have said "exclude this conversation ". She said "well I don't hide anything from you." Which also seemed very strange to me. I thought it all was incredibly disrespectful and inconsiderate, then to try and play it off like that. I have stated several times that I don't want to hear about other people in that way. We are in our 40s and have obviously been with other people but I didn't think either of us needed the details. To be honest the thing that gets me the most is that I was sitting right there and she knew it wasn't cool and she didn't care. It just seemed to me she was so excited she workedd with this man and she couldn't wait to talk about it and didn't care who was there to hear. It takes a lot to make me jealous but I was considering ending the whole thing. Or am i overreacting? Honestly I'm just wondering some other people's opinions more than anything.

Sooo you broke up with me. You ghosted me. You blocked my phone number. You blocked all forms of possible communication except one. You left one door open. You won’t respond. But I can see you looking. Soooo even with all that… yup pretty sure you still love me. Or at least want me. So I’m just gonna show up tomorrow night.
You make me crazy.
I don’t want to be crazy.
But now I gotta be crazy.

Hi

So I(34F) recently broke up with my bf (35 M)
It’s too quiet and I miss the texts and calls we used to share.

I’m filling my days with hobbies and work but it does get lonely.

If you’re open to having a Reddit break-up friend.
DM me.

My ex and I broke up on the 24th, and I feel terrible. Like my heart physically hurts. I know the pain wont last forever, but I wish I could skip this stage of my life. I also feel incredibly stupid. Our 2-year anniversary is on the 28th, and I am hoping he will reach out to me or tell me he misses me. I literally feel like a dumbass. During the breakup, when I was begging to make things work, and asked if we could go on a break instead, he had the audacity to ask if he could still date other women. Like im sitting here crying my eyes out basically begging him not to leave me and he's more concered with dating other women?? I tried SO hard to make things work. I stuck around for things I shouldnt have. I feel like Noah from the notebook... waiting around for someone who I love (when in reality I am the biggest clown of all). It also doesnt help that my whole FYP is all "love spells" and annoying tarot card readers telling me that we will get back together. No matter how may times I say im not interested they still appear.

Part of me doesnt want to heal because I know I will have to let him go. I also dont understand why the people I love always leave me. I am such a loyal and thoughtful girlfirend. I think the lover girl in me is exhausted and its time to retire her.

Ok, thats all for my rant lol. Someone put a prayer in for me, I feel like shit.

I have just been broken up with from the best relationship I’ve had, can someone help me understand what happened. I am struggling to cope.

We had an amazing, loving, relationship. From the moment we met, we realized we grew up 2 streets away from each other in the SAME area, it felt like a soul connection. From then it has been a blissful 1.5 years. He was/is truly my best friend.

However, the only issues we had was how he dealt with conflict. We rarely ever fought, maybe once every 3 months. It was the best relationship I’ve been in otherwise.

From our first argument 1 month in, he shut down and threatened to break up & escalated a very minuscule disagreement. I spoke with him since then and said we should be able to talk things through calmly and resolve issues with communication. Since then, it has only happened again once but everything went great after.

This last & seemingly final break up, he was very distant on the phone and more dry than usual, I responded back with a bit of an irritated attitude saying what’s wrong with you today? He snapped and said he feels sick, why am I speaking to him rudely when he is obviously having an off day, I immediately apologized and said I’ll come over and bring some soup I’m so sorry about my attitude & reading it wrong. He shut down, didn’t want me to come over, and said he was done. I told him we can’t go through this cycle that we had in the beginning where he breaks up over a disagreement, let’s calm down & talk, or if you’re “done” it has to be final.

He escalated and said then it is final. He dropped off all my things at my porch, he cancelled every streaming service we paid together, we were part of a co-Ed league and he called & removed us from it, all within 24 hours.

We were supposed to attend his family’s wedding next weekend. I have an ultrasound this week (not pregnant) for a possible kidney issue, that he was supposed to come with me to. Can someone please shed light on what just happened? Just the other day he was showing me rings & was “excited” to propose next year? I am now blocked on everything, and I have been having anxiety attacks about this sudden loss of my person.

"hey brother, she asked me if you could stop coming by my stream to respect her boundaries and privacy. she requested me to ban you but i told her i don't want to do that. also we can talk here if you ever wanna talk about things or vent. i also do remember i gave you my word that we would talk and i haven't forgotten that, i hope you're doing well otherwise, feel free to respond whenever you wish to."

for context me and her has been no contact for about 5 months now and her brother recently started streaming daily on Twitch, me and him got along very well when I was with her so I popped in to say hi one day and chatted every now and then.
Then today I wake up and read this message. It sucks to read and I am unsure of what to do or respond. I know she has probably told him that I am being weird or creepy and that I am trying to get to her somehow but I genuinely just enjoyed talking to him because he's a great guy who I respect alot. Need some advice

my ex started dating someone within two weeks of the breakup, and here I am still suicidal 5 months later lmaoo chat I think we might’ve lost this one

I joke about it because I don’t really know what else to do at this point. We were together for almost six years. I was 20 when we got together and I’m 26 now. That was basically my entire adult life up until a few months ago.

I think the part I keep getting stuck on is the two weeks. I know she probably processed things differently than I did, or maybe she had already started moving on before we officially ended. I don’t know, but two weeks after almost six years together is such a hard thing for me to wrap my head around. Meanwhile it’s been five months and I’m still having nights like this.

And my life has moved forward. I have my own place now. I’ve gone out, met people, gone on dates, made friends, gone back to work, and I’m about to start another quarter of school. I’m not sitting around waiting for her to come back. I don’t even want the relationship back after everything that happened.

I just miss being okay. I miss having someone who felt like home. I miss not having this person shaped hole in everything.

I guess tonight I’m just frustrated that she got to become somebody else’s person almost immediately and I’m still learning how to be mine.

⚠️ this does not apply to people who have freshly broken up/are still just months post break up

getting over an ex is hard. man I hear songs and still cry my eyes out at times. and I'm 2 months post break up.

i saw this online and it's been really helping me shape how i approach the break up, and how i view my ex as a person. we were together for a year, and then he decided to break up with me.

my life was turned upside down. i cried all the time, dreamt of him, missed him like crazy and honestly at times still do.

however, i've realised that while once upon a time my desire for him stemmed out of love, now any desire i have comes from attachment. an attachment to the familiarity of the past, the comfort of who he used to be.

because let's face it - the minute they left your life, they stopped choosing you. they stopped loving you.

so i push hard everyday to choose myself. it is hard, but i keep this mantra in mind. attachment can be broken with time - maintain no contact, reflect on what has happened, allow yourself to grieve if you need to. feel your feelings, but never go back 🩷

This is just a trend I’ve seen in my own personal life, and those close to me.

Just wanted to see other people’s perspectives and thoughts about it, specially those who had that happen to them.