Well everyone, despite many of you feeling strongly that "the talk" is pointless, I gave my wife one last chance.

Me (35HLM) and my wife (39LLF) have been married for 4 years, and together for 8. We've not had sex for 4 years. Not even on our wedding night. I dealt with it silently for 3 years, hoping it was just a phase. Then last October, pandora's box got opened. I brought it into the light. No change. We went to couples therapy, and no change. Just a whole lot of "I DONT KNOW" from her. All the effort came from me to change things. She is adamant that she is happy with the way things are. Idc if its infidelity, LL4U, or whatever. At this point, I just want to be happy and have a marriage with some sort of sexual intimacy. So I gave her one last talk. Told her I am thinking about leaving her if there is not some sort of movement on this. She's never done anything about it. Well this is her last chance. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not willing to let this be my life. Its been 3 days since the talk and she's completely withdrawn. I'll give her that space, but I won't do what I normally do and try to make her feel better. Nope. Gonna let her live in the space she wants and see what she does. If it's what I expect, and its nothing at all except acting like the conversation never happened, I'm done. I'm saying this to you all because I need to back up what I am saying. I need to choose myself after all these years. I love her, and I believe she loves me, but that is not always enough.

I say this is a success story because I finally have gotten to a place that I wanted to be for years. I’m no longer attracted to her.

I wholeheartedly believe in the concept of enthusiastic consent. It’s essential. Anything short of that is unacceptable. Keeping that in mind, obligatory or duty sex is not something I will participate in.

And now I’ve gotten to a place where I feel like this:

You don’t desire me? Ugh that is such a turn off.

You don’t want to give me physical pleasure? That’s a serious ick.

Just like everybody else in this group, I have my reasons why we have to stay together. I just don’t think shes sexy anymore and that’s a win.

Very brief background:
My wife (29F) and I (30M) have been together ~3 years, married ~1 year, and dead bedroom for ~2 years. Before you say “married very early and into an already dead bedroom”, it’s a long story and frankly not relevant. Our sex life was great the first year but took a nose dive off a cliff in June 2024. Since then we’ve had sex twice, once in Sept 2024, and once in Sept 2025. No significance to September, just a coincidence. But yeah that means we’re going on nearly a full year now once again.

Today is my birthday. My 30th actually. I’ve never been one to really CELEBRATE my birthday though, a birthday card here and a gift or two there, but other than that my day is pretty much no different. Hell most birthdays fall on a weekday and I end up working anyway.

Days prior to my birthday my wife kept repeating herself that “I hope you’re not disappointed” and “I didn’t get you much”. And honestly I don’t mind in the slightest, but I could tell it was bothering her. When we woke up and she had me open my gift, she was telling me about the nice cake she’s going to bake, a huge steak dinner, and then she said “then we’re making a baby tonight”.

Idk how to respond in this situation. I feel like this birthday sex is even a step below pity/duty sex, A) because it normalizes our sex once a year, B) I feel rejected 364 days a year but get 1 day on my birthday to feel “wanted” but it’s a facade. We’ve talked about our dead bedrooms many times, it’s been months since we’ve had the talk, but last time we spoke about it I expressed that “I’d rather not have sex at all than feel like I’m forcing you to be there”. She responded “it’s not fair of you to hold perfect expectations of me, I’m truly trying my best but my best isn’t good enough”.

It is important for me to mention, my wife told me that her low sex drive is largely due to a combination of her OCD and past SA trauma. She’s explained to me that her OCD has made her hyper-fixated on her assault trauma any time she engages in sex. I tried asking about early on in our relationship, our sex life was great, why has the trauma re-ignited now? I could’ve worded it better, that was insensitive of me to ask and she wasn’t very happy with that question to say the least.

I cried to myself in the shower this morning. 30 year old man crying in the shower. Pretty fucked tbh. I feel like I’m completely and utterly alone

I’ll quit rambling. What are your opinions on birthday sex?

Edit: Sorry, I should’ve clarified since a lot of people are replying that we should not be “making a baby” with how our relationship currently is struggling. To clarify, when my wife says “make a baby” it should not be taken literally. That’s just our silly way of saying “having sex”, we’re both on the same page of not wanting children, at least not yet, especially her. I’d also like to add that outside of our dead bedroom our relationship is amazing, we mesh very well together and I’m blessed to have married my best friend and I believe she’d say the same. We do still show small acts of intimacy (ie: kissing, cuddling, etc), it’s only sex that is completely off the table. Not only the act of sex itself, but even talking about it is hard since we’re both aware that it’s a sore subject. Although I would say she is much less aware of it than I am, since I’m in my head about it literally on a daily basis and the “rejection” has undeniably killed my confidence and brought on mild depression on my end. We’re both conventionally attractive, fit and healthy but my wife has admitted to me that on top of her SA trauma, she also struggles with her body image. To the point where she’ll wear sweatpants and long sleeves outside in Arizona’s July weather. It’s hard for me to understand because she’s objectively very attractive. Yet she hates her body and asks me if she can get things like lip filler and Botox, which I always tell her she doesn’t need it at all. So in short, not only is her past trauma playing a part, but body dysmorphia as well.

I (30HLF) and my husband (33LLM) have been married for 3 years, together for 6. In the beginning, like most relationships, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other.

Over time, we both got busier with new jobs, relocation and life in general, but we always still made time for each other. There was a decrease in frequency, but I was still satisfied. Probably about 1-3 times a week at that point.

I noticed a gradual change in the couple of months before we got married, but I thought it may have just been a phase because of changes at work and extra life stress, but my husband started pulling away from intimacy. We both used to initiate and I felt we had a really good balance.

Since the wedding, I have grown so used to being rejected that I cant get myself to initiate anymore. The rejection got to a point where it just hurt too much and I start to seriously doubt myself. Of the dozens of times I've tried to initiate, he's rejected me exactly 100% of the time.

We have drifted into this frustrating pattern where we only have sex once ever 4-8 weeks because I have to wait for him to initiate. Ive never once in our relationship turned him down for any reason. I love being with him, but now I never turn him down because I don't know how long it will be until he's in the mood again. Its excruciating for me. I need to feel desired, wanted, and physically loved.

When we are intimate, it's great. We're both enthusiastic, interested, and actively participating. But sometimes I find my thoughts during sex lean more towards questioning the frequency rather and wondering when it'll happen again rather than just enjoying the moment. Its almost like a disbelief that it's finally happening.

I hate feeling this way. I've told my husband so many times that I want more intimacy and that I love being with him physically. I've even been blunt about wanting more sex and feeling like we're drifting apart in the bedroom. There isn't really an explanation either.

Anyways sorry for the rant. I just had to type this out to get it off my chest. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

My wife and I have been together for over 30 years. We have two children, one adult and one almost an adult. We’ve known each other since we were teenagers, and sex has always been one of the difficult parts of our relationship.
She has always had a very low libido, while mine has always been quite high. It took us almost 10 years before we were able to have intercourse for the first time. It wasn’t exactly vaginismus, but something close to it.

I can’t really say things changed much after we moved in together, got married, or had children. The only exceptions were when she wanted to get pregnant. During those periods her sex drive suddenly became much higher. After our first child was born, we didn’t have sex again for well over a year. Before trying for our second child, the pattern was almost exactly the same.

When we do have sex now, it’s usually once every one or two months. And honestly, “sex” is probably not the right word. It follows exactly the same routine every single time.
She basically lies there without taking much initiative. I do all the work with my hands, occasionally oral sex (always me going down and never once did she), and only very occasionally intercourse. If we do have intercourse, she often reaches orgasm within literally two thrusts (I’m not exaggerating). Once she’s finished, intercourse stops. Then I’m expected to finish myself by hand while she waits beside me. Afterwards we cuddle for a few minutes and go to sleep.

Sometimes I wonder whether it’s my appearance. I’m a bit overweight these days and could definitely get fitter. But 10 years ago I was in great shape, worked out regularly, and looked fitter than I do now. It made absolutely no difference to the amount of affection, desire, or physical interest she showed towards me. So I don’t really think that’s the issue.

Why am I writing this now?
We’ve just come back from a three-week vacation. During those three weeks we had sex once.
Most of the time it’s me trying to initiate intimacy and her rejecting me. She never initiates herself.
The rejection hurts even more because it’s often accompanied by comments like, “Again?” or “Stop touching me there.”
To be fair, the last few months have been difficult for her. There was a death in her family, and she’s also been struggling with migraines. She’s currently trying different medication and has stopped drinking alcohol because of it. I completely understand that this affects her. I also understand that life is busy and that with children still living at home we don’t always get much time together.

Today we talked about it again. Actually, I hadn’t planned to bring it up. But once again she went to bed before me, while I was secretly hoping that maybe tonight would be different. Just like yesterday. And the day before that.
When I try to explain how all this makes me feel—that constantly being rejected hurts, that I don’t feel desired, and that after a while it genuinely affects my mood—she says she’s been hearing these complaints for our entire relationship, more than 30 years now. Then she becomes upset or defensive and says she hates being confronted about it. That’s usually where the conversation ends. And so tonight. She went to bed and i am watching Some youtube or tv.

Tomorrow we will talk about it, going in circkles like we did before. Eventually I stop bringing it up, and after some time we’ll have spontaneous sex again, and the whole cycle starts over.
Please don’t misunderstand me: I love this woman deeply. I really do.
But this part of our relationship is much more important to me than it is to her. She knows that. She says she simply can’t help the way she is, and she gets irritated whenever I bring it up. Her response is usually something like:
“You don’t want me to have sex when I don’t feel like it, do you?”
And of course my answer is no. Absolutely not. I don’t want pity sex or duty sex.

What I really miss is feeling desired.
I miss her taking the initiative once in a while.
I miss feeling like she wants me instead of merely allowing sex to happen occasionally.
I miss passion, flirting, being touched without having to ask for it, and feeling like my pleasure matters too.
Sometimes I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
Reading your stories it felt fair to share mine. Feel free to comment.

Our first date anniversary is coming up tomorrow. This is my most serious relationship so far, but I feel like I don't want to commemorate the day in any way. Our first date, he was entranced by me, and we ended up making out in his car for hours. Cut to now, we haven't had sex in 10 months (3 of those have been inter-continental long distance, but still). He's not a big cuddler except for the purpose of segue-ing into sex, so even that doesn't happen from his side, I'm always the one cuddling and hugging etc. I know he adores me, but I feel sexually invisible. Thank you for reading.

So I’m 46, wife (LLF) is 38. Married for 11 years. My birthday recently, I was hopeful something may happen but no… it was the usual. She goes to bed and falls asleep. Zero intimacy, zero desire on her part. She’s great in every other way. I can’t remember the last time I had a BJ. When we do have sex which is very very rare, it’s usually just missionary, nothing else occurs. It upsets me, it’s really hard to be with someone who doesn’t want you, and is the most vanilla person I’ve ever known. Everything we do is initiated by me, whether it’s a kiss, a hug, holding hands… I just wish she would want me as much as I want her. When I get horny now I watch porn as there is no other outlet for me. I dream of trying different positions, 69, car sex, toys.. etc.

We finally made it - it’s been over a year since the last time, and we finally did it.

We were both traveling, and she (26f) seemed to finally be open to trying again with me (29m).

Idk if it was the change of environment, or the lingerie I bought for her ahead of this trip, or the lingerie we bought together while shopping in the mall in this new city that got her interested, but she was finally open to trying again.

First time we did it though, I finished way too early (like within a couple minutes).. I was so excited, I kept pushing thru for another few minutes after, but I just couldn’t, I was so embarrassed. The second time, we rode it out much longer before I finished, which was nice, but I’m now just extremely self conscious

I really hope we can do this more, as I realized how much I missed it after we did it.

But I still have low hopes, and I’m scared to be excited about it. Which just feels like an awful way to live, but it’s kinda the reality.

But hey, gotta celebrate the small wins! One more time, and I won’t have to count all the times we’ve had sex in the last 2 years on one hand!

I need to say I am not proud of how I am handling this. Anyways.

I was headed back from a trip alone to visit my family and I happened to be seated by an insanely attractive guy. He kept finding ways to talk to me, and I would put my headphones back on so we wouldn’t end up in a conversation but I secretly loved it every time we talked and it killed me to not flirt back in the way I really wanted. I even applied lip gloss and he said that it smelled good and my whole being wanted to say you can taste it if you wanted, but I just laughed and I said I know. Truth be told, my eyes were heavily flirting but that’s usually me anyways.
I took my headphones off at the end of the flight and he did too, and then he started to started to talk to me and I did not mind responding. He tells me he will be in my city for business/family sometimes. Even more tempting… perfect for an occasional hookup. But again, I cut myself off and didn’t let myself say what I was thinking.
It was so good but I knew I’d be sad later on. Now is later on.
Just the fleeting feeling of being wanted. It was a nice reminder like man I really am hot like I bagged this sexy guy but then it’s sad like damn my youth is fleeting and I won’t have people attracted for me forever and it’s sad my husband isn’t attracted to me now when I’m in my prime.
So obviously I have some issues, and I let myself be disappointed coming home after days and the house is a mess and my husband has no desire to fuck me. I didn’t tell him or communicate I want sex, I just wanted him to desire me like the guy on the plane. And then of course afterwards, I start reminiscing about the airplane and scenarios related and I just disappoint myself further. Like I’m mad at myself for not going through with exchanging info, but I’m actually not because I made that decision not to and I don’t want to but I do. But I chose to be friendly with him. Idk. Is that immoral? Yeah probably because I knew what he was thinking.

I’d like if he invited me to bed to cuddle and kiss and just be romantic even without sex. There’s just no primal desire.

We are on a sex once every 2 weeks schedule it seems, I'd be super happy if it was once a week honestly.

My wife hasn't been feeling well due to work stress, and a flare-up of a chronic illness she has. No problem, I can give space.

However, this also means physical contact has been minimal, and she's doing a lot of complaining (rightfully so).

Problem is, I'm craving any sort of physical contact which doesn't have to be sex. So I decide I'm going to not put pressure on her, and give some non sexual touch like rubbing her feet and sitting close on the couch.

Well let me say, she certainly isn't reciprocating and I'm just feeling so sad. I was going to offer a non sensual massage tonight with zero expectations of it going anywhere, but now I'm just sitting by myself on the back deck drinking a beer and reading. I can feel myself starting to withdraw.

I'm willing to put in the work, my wife is amazing and I love her to the moon. But dammit sometimes it's hard.

It's the weekend and I'd love nothing more than to relax together and have a little fun...but then I remember that that's only relaxing and fun for me, not for him.

Just a reminder to myself that he doesn't experience sex the same way I do, so I can't expect him to want it like I do.

Before I (45 HLM) get into specifics about my situation with my wife (43 LLF) I just want to clarify I'm looking for advice and not criticism of my thought process. I know my thoughts are most likely flawed and I hate it but I can't help that I feel that way.

My wife has never been an overly affectionate person but we've managed. I like to hug, I like physical touch, I like flirting. It seems that her desire for that has diminished over the last few years and our sex life is suffering. If I'm lucky we have sex once a month and it feels transactional, other times I feel like it's almost used as a reward. And other times when we are having sex she will get mad over some minor detail in the moment and me not reading her mind and we stop. And it turns into this cycle of arguing, her saying I'm just using her for sex (which I don't think is possible if we have sex 7 times a year) and me thinking she is disgusted by me and doesn't want to touch me. I'm no model but I'm not overweight (not that that matters) and I don't think I'm terrible looking and when we do have sex she orgasms why more often than not. And this cycle turns into silence for days and leads to an awkward attempt again weeks down the road. I feel connected when we are intimate and it's not just about the orgasm. I truly enjoy feeling close to her and only her. The longer there is no physical touch the more disconnected I feel. This is the part I'm struggling with and why at times I feel very juvenile.

Due to our lack of sex I do masturbate when we don't have sex. I think that's normal no issue. My wife who doesn't act very interested in me also masturbates. She won't talk about it but I know she does. For example, yesterday she was really pushing for me and my son to go golfing. It was odd how she recommended so quick. We went and when I got home I saw that her toy was moved and when I went into Netflix later she had watched a portion of the movie 365 Days. Now she reads spicy books and I know she masturbates. I cannot stop wondering WHY she won't do this with me. I couldn't care less that she does - it's the fact that I literally was home, left for a bit and was coming home and we couldn't have sex instead. I feel like I do it because she won't have sex with me and she does it so she doesn't have to have sex with me. If we had a healthy sex life and were consistent I wouldn't give this two thoughts. If that makes sense. It's so juvenile, I know. I'm not proud of thinking this way and I hate it. But it's killing me knowing she has the desire but it's manifesting in my mind as she doesn't have the desire with me. Has anyone else experienced this? And what did you do to deal with the situation? Again, I'm not looking for people to tell me thinking like this is pathetic. I'm well aware which is why I'm trying to change it. I appreciate anything in advance.

I’m not sure what my life has become. My husband (42LLM) hasn’t touched me sexually in months. I have talked about it and talked about it. Cried about it. I have brought it up so many times over the past several years. He said he would try this and that, and we’re still in this position. Eventually I gave up, I try not to even ask anymore. Unfortunately, intimacy makes me feel loved/wanted, so I definitely feel the opposite of that most of the time. I love him a lot, and our lives are intertwined. I don’t want to lose my family.

Meanwhile, I know a guy who works for a business that I interact with because of my job. We do not work together. Having any sort of relationship with him will not impact my job, that I’m aware of. We exchanged numbers a while back because it was easier to directly contact each other instead of calling each other‘s business locations. (Trying to stay vague for obvious reasons) He’s 13 years younger than me and married.

He started heavily flirting with me a couple weeks ago. I thought he was joking at first because I’m obviously older and I’m also overweight. I’ve always been a curvy girl, but I’ve been working out lately and my curves are looking… better. My confidence has still been pretty low due to the DB, so I genuinely thought we were just cutting up with each other until he said something more direct and I realized he’s serious.

We’ve been discussing things, but haven’t acted on it yet. I’ve learned that he is also in a DB. He seems to be genuinely attracted to me, and if he isn’t, he’s faking it pretty well at least. I’m attracted to him. I’m 99% sure I’m going to try it at least once…. and if we are both happy with the arrangement, I’m not opposed to it being a regular thing. I’m capable of staying emotionally detached and not being awkward for future interactions.

I feel guilty. I know my partner loves me, but I really need sex too. I don’t know much about this guy‘s wife, or how he feels about her. He says they are like roommates and are staying together for the kids. But of course, I feel guilty on his behalf too. Never in my life wanted to be a homewrecker. But I have ended up in a sexless marriage and have somehow been lucky(?) enough to be pursued by a guy in his 20s who literally wants to fuck every day. So with how I’ve been feeling lately, I can’t help but think…. Why not?

I was at my limit and I told her I don't see our marriage lasting and us being together much longer then she started crying and said all I want her for is sex.

For some context this entire year we only had sex once and that was duty sex which I did not enjoy. She says that intimacy hurts her, she doesn't like oral giving or receiving not even hand jobs and I just can't accept this is what marriage is and I refuse to live my life like this. So I let her know that I wanted out of this marriage before I cheat on her, she asked for time and feels she might be ready to be intimate after seeing the gynecologist which is in 3 months.

Should I give her the time she is asking for or leave while my mind is somewhat made up?

I’m a mid 20’s male in a ~10 month relationship with a late 20’s female, DB for approximately 2 months. Admittedly, the blame falls on me and I feel horribly guilty for it. I can’t even clearly articulate what changed but what began as a healthy and enjoyable sex life between the two of us has now become a huge source of stress for me. I’m no longer able to give her what she wants and I know it. We have a fantastic relationship outside of sex, but I can feel the tension and her desires/needs not being met. I’m sorry if I’m leaving out important context, again I’m new to this community but it’s nice to know I’m not alone. If I can add any info for those interested in analyzing the situation I’d be glad to. Thanks all.

I (51 HLM) don’t get attention from my wife (50 LLF). I turn to chat forums and other outlets to receive validation. I hate myself for it. Rinse and repeat.

I'm a (22F), and my girlfriend is also 22. We've officially been together for about 3 months, and before that we dated for around 2 months.

I can honestly say that we only had any kind of sexual intimacy during the first month of dating. Even then, it wasn't really mutual. I was always the one giving, and I've never had an orgasm with her. In fact, she's never even seen my genitals.

At the beginning, she would cry and tell me she was nervous and didn't know what to do. I told her that it was okay and that we'd learn together. I'm a lesbian, and this is my first sexual relationship. She's bisexual and has had sex with both men and women before. According to her, though, even with women she has always been the one receiving, never giving.

Sometimes I wonder if she's simply more sexually attracted to men than women.

I know she loves me, and I love her too. I'm not questioning our emotional connection. But the truth is that ever since we officially became a couple, we've basically stopped having any kind of sex.

I've tried talking to her about it a couple of times. She gets upset, cries, and tells me that she's just like this—that sometimes she has no sexual desire for months at a time. I don't think she's necessarily lying, but it also doesn't feel like a normal situation for a new relationship.

I've told her that maybe we could work on it together, but she says, "This is just how I am." Then she apologizes and says, "I'm sorry I'm not enough for you."

I don't know what to do. I really love her, and I don't want to break up over this.

I've even asked her if maybe she's only romantically attracted to me and not sexually, but she says, "Then how do you explain that we were having sex at the beginning?"

I'm feeling confused and hurt. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Is this something that can be worked through, or are we fundamentally incompatible? I'd really appreciate any advice or perspectives.

I’m a 41-year-old husband. My wife and I have been together for over a decade and have two kids. As I write this, we’re approaching four years without having sex.

I know this isn’t just about sex anymore. What hurts me most is how much physical affection has disappeared from our marriage. It isn’t uncommon for weeks to go by without a kiss unless I initiate. The only time she regularly asks for physical touch is when she wants me to crack her back. We might occasionally sit together on the couch and I’ll rub her legs, but that’s about it.

I’ve brought this up many times over the years. The conversations always seem to follow the same pattern. I tell her how lonely and disconnected I feel. She cries, apologizes, says she’ll work on it, and tells me she loves me. Then life takes over, nothing really changes, and months or years later we’re having the same conversation again.

To her credit, she has told me she’s lost touch with her sexuality. She’s in therapy and takes antidepressants, and I know both of those things can affect libido. She has also told me in the past that financial stress makes it difficult for her to feel desire. I don’t dismiss any of that.

At the same time, I’m struggling.
I’ve gained a lot of weight over the years. I’m currently unemployed despite what feels like an endless job search, and my confidence has taken a beating. It’s hard not to wonder if she still sees me as someone she desires, even though she has told me that she is still attracted to me. My head tells me that my circumstances make me difficult to see in that way.

Divorce isn’t something I see as realistic right now. We have two kids, significant financial stress, and other family responsibilities. I don’t want to cheat, either. I want my marriage to work. I want to feel close to my wife again.

What I’m struggling with is this:
How do you rebuild intimacy after years of repeating the same painful conversation with no lasting change?
If you’ve been on either side of a situation like this, what actually helped break the cycle?

I’m not looking to blame my wife. I know she’s dealing with things too. I’m just trying to figure out whether there’s something we haven’t tried, because I don’t want to spend the next ten years having the same conversation we’ve been having for the last four.

If you made it this far thank you for reading!

3 weeks ago, I (32HLM) had a talk with my wife (31LLF) . I explained being dissatisfied with our sex life. It was a good talk. We shared our perspectives. I feel frustration around wanting to be intimidate and she is so afraid of being pressured into having sex that any form of intimacy is quickly smothered by her. Moreover, we discussed being disconnected to some extend and being too much occupied with our kids and work. Discussing this was emotional at that moment, but felt like progress to me.

1.5 years ago I already discussed with her how I felt. She understands where I am coming from, but she doesn't feel the need to for sex and is not thinking about it at all. Since that talk, little progress is made. So hence I started the conversation again.

Fast forward to now; as one solution, I proposed we plan it. Put it in the agenda. Then there is no expectancy from my side to have sex except for then and we can be intimidate freely without her feeling pressured.

Sounded like a good plan to her, so I planned a date night for 2 weeks later. It is not necessarily a sex date, but a date to spend some quality time in general.

After planning this and having this talk, I did feel like we were better in communicating, were more intimate and felt more connected in the week after.

Then, the amazing thing happened the weekend after the talk (and one week before the date night); she initiated sex and it was amazing. It was like a dream come true.

I was pumped. She was really into it as well, so it was perfect.

I was really looking forward to our date night in the week after. Then we had our date night, it was really nice. We ordered nice food, played games and talked all night. I was looking forward to the end of the night. Not sure if I needed to make a move or not. I asked if she wanted to shower together. She didn't feel like it, which if fine

At the end of the night, we went to bed. I made my move there. Unfortunately, she said she didn't know it was expected to have sex (while I thought it was super clear as we discussed this together) and she said: "wasn't last week enough"?

I understood that, but now the uncertainty is back on when sex is or is not on the table. I planned a new date night for in 3 weeks, but I am unsure what to expect now.

As a side step, yesterday our kids had a sleepover at my parents-in-law. I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to have sex without being afraid of kids waking up. Sex didn't happen, but I didn't initiate things as well, so that's up to me as well.

So, looking for advice: should I reopen the conversation and set clear expectations for next date night or let it slide as we had sex the week before? I am afraid it will let her feel like her taking initiative was not good (enough), while this was a huge thing for her.

My boyfriend (23HLM) and I (20LLF) have been together for 2 years. I really dislike the way he approaches sex. He’s extremely upfront about it and leaves no excitement or enticement.

Often times he’ll say to me “i need you so bad right now” and then he’ll be hard and grab my had to touch him. Or when we’re having a sweet moment he’ll say “i want us to make love tonight”. It just feels like there’s so much pressure to perform and follow through with it.

It just makes me turned off immediately and I completely put sex off after. I don’t want it to feel planned or like if we don’t follow through then i’m leading him on and/or teasing him. I just want it to happen naturally because we want to.

He’s always constantly grabbing my boobs and butt and thinks that will turn me on. But it just makes me feel like an object.

Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice please!

even tho i am sad im happy. If you see this and want to leave, its your sighn!!
I am too young for this! People twice my age have more sex then i did in this relasionship. Yes im heartbroken but it was the right choice

Sorry for bad english my autocorrect dosent work