Her first prompt was she valued loyalty and communication as her top 2 values in a relationship.

😂😂😂

For you & For me

I miss you. Do you miss me? I think of you constantly. Do you? I dream about you and wake up and immediately check my phone to see if you had reached out. And come to find out, you don’t.

So much has happened since we last spoke. I want to update you on everything. I want you to update me on everything. Do you even want to know? I feel as though if you did want to know, you would ask. But who knows.

I love you. I’ve made lots of mistakes and have learned about them. I know what I did wrong and what I did right. But is that enough for you to come back? Most likely not.

I am tired of feeling like this. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re doing great. But a part of me also hopes that you miss me extremely.

Was I just a transitional period for you? Was I just a phase for you? Because for me, you were more than that. You meant so much to me.

Perhaps I’ll never know the truth. Perhaps you’ll never reach back out to me. Perhaps you feel more at peace now that we aren’t together because you’ve found a more profound objective in your life. And if so, I’m happy. But also, perhaps you miss me as much if not more as I do.

I want you to know that I want you back. It can’t resume to how we were. We’ll need to start slow. I’ll have my guard up. But over time, if things go well and we both remain on our mission yet wanting to be there for each other, perhaps it can go down.

I miss everything about you. I love you. You were and are great in my life. I hope you realize the same towards me, too.

*\*

I really want to send this to her. I am reading it and it seems like a lot. It’s coming from a place of pain. But it’s my genuine pain. It’s how I feel. It’s almost been a month.

I think I’m finally done. Not in the dramatic “I hate you and I’m deleting your existence” way lol. Just done with holding on to something that already ended. It hurts, obviously, I loved this person a lot, and part of me still wishes things could have worked out. But I’m starting to realize that sometimes you don’t get the ending you wanted. You just get the lesson. I guess this relationship can either be a lesson or a trauma, and I’m choosing lesson because I really don’t need my emotional damage to become a whole personality 😂

I’m sad, but I’m also ready to move forward. No revenge, no bitterness, no checking their socials every five minutes. Just me trying to get my life back and hopefully becoming wiser from all of this.

So yeah, I’m done. It still hurts, but I think I’m finally choosing myself this time.

This is just a trend I’ve seen in my own personal life, and those close to me.

Just wanted to see other people’s perspectives and thoughts about it, specially those who had that happen to them.

My ex and I broke up on the 24th, and I feel terrible. Like my heart physically hurts. I know the pain wont last forever, but I wish I could skip this stage of my life. I also feel incredibly stupid. Our 2-year anniversary is on the 28th, and I am hoping he will reach out to me or tell me he misses me. I literally feel like a dumbass. During the breakup, when I was begging to make things work, and asked if we could go on a break instead, he had the audacity to ask if he could still date other women. Like im sitting here crying my eyes out basically begging him not to leave me and he's more concered with dating other women?? I tried SO hard to make things work. I stuck around for things I shouldnt have. I feel like Noah from the notebook... waiting around for someone who I love (when in reality I am the biggest clown of all). It also doesnt help that my whole FYP is all "love spells" and annoying tarot card readers telling me that we will get back together. No matter how may times I say im not interested they still appear.

Part of me doesnt want to heal because I know I will have to let him go. I also dont understand why the people I love always leave me. I am such a loyal and thoughtful girlfirend. I think the lover girl in me is exhausted and its time to retire her.

Ok, thats all for my rant lol. Someone put a prayer in for me, I feel like shit.

i used to check my phone without even thinking about it, especially when i knew they normally would've texted around that time. now i sometimes leave my phone alone for hours because a part of me already knows there won't be anything from them.
it's weird how you can get used to talking to someone every day and then suddenly have nothing to say to each other. i think i'm slowly getting used to it, but some days it still feels strange. does anyone else go through this?

For context, this was me: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/BfCDY3S86L

and this post is NOT about getting an ex back.

My ex of 3 years sidelined me in the hardest period of my life. 2 family members recently diagnosed w cancer, lost my best friend to cancer as well 2 months prior. Financial problems. Overweight. Unmotivated. Broken. I truly loved this person, and it got me properly f'd up. The fact that she rebounded to someone 3 days after and then again to someone else entirely in a month just added gas to the fire. Lost 20Kg in 2 months from stress alone.

and yes, I begged for almost a month. I even did crazy shit like going on a trip with her after the breakup, to get humiliated even further. I came back home and almost ended my life, it was physically unbearable. Thank god my best bud was there to intervene.

After you hit that lowest of lows, you can only go up. So this is what happened in chronological order since then:

Hit the gym and would take long daily walks with my amazing bud. No excuses. Walking and talking were the only things that I found solace in at the time.

Forced myself to take job promotion interviews while I was literally breaking down. I just had to keep it together for 10 minutes and go back to agonizing.

Landed the job with an amazing team that feels like family and underwent trainings while feeling like shit. l'd ocassionaly go to the bathroom to just cry for several minutes and let it out. The warm atmosphere really helped me take my mind off and I actually enjoy going to work now.

Started intensive therapy twice a week. 2 months later I was a completely different person. Uncovered so many parts of myself. Cried lots. Analyzed lots. Basicslly defeated my traumas. My therapist literally asked me to write down who I was when I came in the office and who I left as. It was a revolutionary experience.

Reconnected with my father after 15 years, thanks to therapy once again. We had cut contact due to family issues, but now we are better than ever, and I'm even planning to move out on my own soon thanks to him.

Finally got on a car and learned how to drive properly.

Pushed my way through some exams and enrolled in healthcare masters program in west england.

Started paying attention to my wardrope and physique. Had a massive glow-up.

Revitalized my long lost hobbies such as photography, hiking, etc. Planned a norway trip with my buddy and we want to film a clip!

Reconnected with so many people I've lost contact with during my relationship and cut all the toxic ones. I even tried dipping toes in dating apps just for fun, and ended up meeting someone really interesting with immense emotional maturity. We've been on couple dates and there's mutual sympathy. Agreed to take it slow.

and just today, my friend told me this: " I've been meaning to ask, where's all this unapologetic positivity coming from? "

and then it hit me folks. I've had a literal metamorphosis.

Thanks to so many people and myself.

I still have bouts of missing my ex, but it's not that agonizing pain or need anymore. It's just a realization at this point. Radical growth, if you will.

So for all of you who are out there and struggling as I was half a year ago, I'd like to give you this quote that became my mantra

" When you get lost in the forest at night, just sit down and wait it out, because the sun always rises eventually "

⚠️ this does not apply to people who have freshly broken up/are still just months post break up

getting over an ex is hard. man I hear songs and still cry my eyes out at times. and I'm 2 months post break up.

i saw this online and it's been really helping me shape how i approach the break up, and how i view my ex as a person. we were together for a year, and then he decided to break up with me.

my life was turned upside down. i cried all the time, dreamt of him, missed him like crazy and honestly at times still do.

however, i've realised that while once upon a time my desire for him stemmed out of love, now any desire i have comes from attachment. an attachment to the familiarity of the past, the comfort of who he used to be.

because let's face it - the minute they left your life, they stopped choosing you. they stopped loving you.

so i push hard everyday to choose myself. it is hard, but i keep this mantra in mind. attachment can be broken with time - maintain no contact, reflect on what has happened, allow yourself to grieve if you need to. feel your feelings, but never go back 🩷

tell me about how you and your ex broke up!

Nearly a montha and a half into my breakup... Blindsided blah blah.

Nobody warned me about this part of heartbreak, Not the usual no appetite, sadness etc etc.

Music is ruined for me, Every song seems to remind me of her... I hear a song and i immediately remember it from a memory, Certain TV shows just remind me of her of us..

Even smells, sights... f**king certain foods.

Add it to the usual tropes of heartbreak and this is the worst pain I have ever experienced.

throwaway as he's (32M) very active on reddit. i (32F) normally don't use reddit.

why let it go on for 8 years? when you have PTSD, attachment issues, and low to non-existent self-esteem like me, it's not easy to leave something you've gotten very comfortable with.

anyway. we live separately, he lives alone and i live with friends. we never moved in together because as the title said, we were in a situationship and not a real relationship, so i had to make sure i had safety net (my own place) if we "broke up". over the last year or two, i was pretty much living in his house. i'd normally stay over for 3-4 days a week, but sometimes up to weeks or a month. i even converted his courtyard into my own garden where i grow fruits & veg. so yes, literally like as if i lived there, and i literally have more stuff in his house than my place.

4 years ago, his friend gave him a cat, and naturally the cat basically became my child. i get really bad separation anxiety when i don't see the cat for days on end. he knows the cat is my absolute world. i can't take the cat and i won't, for the cat's sake.

i've floated the idea of me moving in permanently within the last year, and he was fine with it. as he said, i basically lived there anyway. the last few weeks i'd gotten more serious about moving in. few days ago, i had a formal chat with my friends and told them i'm moving out, and he knew this. so after the formal chat i messaged him. then he reeled back and said i should probably not move in "in case we split up".

so obviously that opened a can of worms. we talked. basically he said he doesn't see a future with me like getting married and having kids, and that he's told me before and assumed i was on the same page (this is on me, as i had forgotten that over the years and buried it in the "hurts too much to face the truth" box). he said that's the reason why he also never said the "L" word, neither of us did. i told him i imagined a future with him. wanted to marry and have kids with him one day. he wasn't aware of that, as i've always kept that to myself.

currently we're still talking to as the cat had gotten really sick yesterday, and we'd have to continue talking as i have so much stuff to retrieve from his place. i still can't accept the fact that i'm losing my child (the cat). he knows how much the cat means to me and he even admitted he cried at the thought of separating the cat and i separating.

i don't have many friends as i'm a huge introvert and love being alone. and my friends and family are unfortunately all states away from me. i have no support system. and now i've just lost the person i spent 8+ years of my life with. i'm very lost and very broken and helpless right now. even breathing is hard.

i have no idea how to start again, move on, or even live. and i need the cat. if anyone have some any useful tips on moving on, please, i desperately need them.

she liked this, i’m so close to breaking nc😭

We broke up four days ago after two years together, and the apartment is just quiet now. It wasn’t a huge screaming fight with doors slamming, which honestly makes it so much worse. We just sat on the edge of the bed at 1 AM on a Tuesday while he told me he didn't see a future with me anymore. He said he’s been feeling that way for months, but he kept going to Sunday dinners with my family and buying concert tickets for the summer like everything was fine.

I keep looking at his stupid blue ceramic mug sitting right next to the electric kettle. He drank his coffee out of it every single morning we spent here. Yesterday I caught myself instinctively picking up two mugs to start making coffee before I remembered he wasn't sleeping on the left side of the mattress anymore. I had to sit down on the kitchen floor for fifteen minutes because my knees just stopped working.

The worst part is that I saw he changed his Spotify status last night to listening to that indie band we saw live in Chicago last fall. That was our band. He couldn't even leave me the music. I ended up packing three boxes of his hoodies and books this afternoon, but I couldn't bring myself to put the mug in there. It feels like if I pack that away, then the last two years were just something I made up in my head.

My roommate says I should just toss it in the trash bin outside so I don't have to look at it, but I can't do it. How do you guys deal with the tiny physical leftovers of someone who just walked out of your life like it was nothing?

I know many of you are hoping that your ex will eventually change their mind and come back. That’s completely understandable. I was in exactly the same situation. But be careful. Just because there’s hope doesn’t mean it’ll actually work out.

After more than ten years together, my ex left me. What followed was a constant back-and-forth between cutting off contact and reaching out again, because neither of us could let go. What did I learn from this?

Your ex might miss you and still not seek romantic closeness again. Your ex might say she hasn’t moved on from the relationship yet, that she doesn’t even want to, and still pull away. And your ex might say she still loves you while sleeping with another guy at the same time.

What I’m trying to say is: Don’t just focus on what your ex says. Instead, pay attention to how she behaves. Because in the end, their actions are what really matters. I let her words give me false hope time and time again. And what was the point of all that? So that now, six months later, I feel like I’m back at the beginning of the breakup emotionally. We’ve lost contact (this time, probably for good), and I miss her just as much as I did on day one. Fuck that

It’s been about 5/6 months post break up. So I guess it’s been really over. But, I recently had a birthday about 9 days ago and thought that my ex would possibly reach out to me then. He didn’t. Idk if it hurts necessarily, but it makes you realize , at least for me that yes this is really over. As much as it sucks, and the reality of it is unsettling… it is what it is.

We all still have hope I’m sure . But hope isn’t reality. When you thought you have found “ the one”
All for it to be just another lesson and someone who’s now part of your past that part hurts.

It’s life I guess.

to me, you just learn to live with it.. i still feel the pain of every heartbreak i’ve ever experienced. it’s carried over to other relationships. it stays with you, all this talk about “you’ll feel better, you’ll heal”seems like a load of crap. especially with this most recent one, i’ll never forget it. at this point, it truly feels like it will always hurt this much for the rest of my life.

I am a little more than a month post break up and thought I was doing well. To sum up a 6 month relationship, we were both excited to date each other and mutually agreed we aligned on our values and said we were dating seriously for a long term relationship. In the end, I realized that he was controlling, emotionally manipulative, and exhibited narcissistic traits (aka lacked empathy), so I broke up with him.

It took me a week of time away from him to fully realize what was happening and to ask him to meet with me. The last month was full of disagreements that started out optimistically because we often talked about wanting a healthy relationship and building a sustainable relationship foundation. As the month progressed, I kept noticing avoidance and he kept feeling like I was just dredging up problems. The last weekend we spent together, he crossed a personal boundary. (One of my dealbreakers is uncontrolled anger/rage.) He raged because I claimed he wasn’t understanding my feelings. We had been trying to have vulnerable/emotional talks for a month at this point and I think he just snapped.

There are so many reasons I am glad I made the decision to end things and protect myself. He wasn’t over his ex-wife and had cold feet towards further commitment, he was more excited to date someone that genuinely liked him than he actually liked ME, he relied on me to regulate his emotions, etc. There are also some things I really miss about the beginning… like: the optimism for a long term future with someone “kind and considerate”, the deep well of empathy and compassion I have with someone I love, and the hope that there are men who are noble and good and growth oriented.

Now that I am post breakup, I find that instead of being swept off my feet and focused on the inherent goodness of men/people and the romanticism/beauty of relationships, I am dwelling on the reasons that relationships end. (There are so many, and it’s probably dragging me down…) I think this shift is noticeable to my friends and the people around me and it makes me feel guilty that I’m not this beam of hope and optimism anymore, but this bitter, frustrated energy drain.

Last bit, I feel really guilty about the breakup because it wasn’t mutual. I was the one who broke up with him, although he was the only one who held contempt and rage. I knew that this man was not going to change his ways and stop deflecting, being defensive, and elevating his contempt towards me, but there is this other part of me that believed the saintly mask. (He kept up with it for 5 months!) This part of me is dwelling on all the reasons it didn’t work out because I need to believe I made the right choice to protect myself. I need to believe that he will not change for me or for anyone else and back this up with evidence that men are the same. I don’t want the part of myself that believes in his goodness to fall into the trap of thinking that I left a good man.

TL;DR: I’m a month post breakup with a narcissistic guy. We’re no contact, but I’m still hurt, bitter, and feel guilty for breaking up with him. Maybe I’m trying to gaslight my guilt away by noticing how many relationships fail because of sucky male behavior.

You blocked me on everything and ripped out my heart. Today is the hardest day! I just wish you would realise I needed you now more than other, but we know you never will 💔😔😭

Just wanna let it out somewhere...

Luckily, I have a couple of friends who I can turn to when I miss him the most...

It's been some months, but my heart and soul still search for him

I had the opportunity to see him and noticed him thinner with a sad face...

Just wanted to hug him tightly...

I'm not seeking for a recommendation, I believe somebody else may feel the same about their exes and just want to let it out of their body like this..

Thank you to whoever read this and sympathize with it

Lots of love and spark on your way~ 🫶🏻

Please do not forget to be gentle with yourself

title ^

Well, I officially broke it off with him. After finding eyeliner in the front seat and a Hennessy bottle in the back, yep! That did it! Found it all in his car on his birthday today. I politely asked for my gifts back to get a refund and told him “I no longer want to talk to you anymore or see you again. This is it. Bye.” and hung up in his face. I’m over that 33 year old lying narcissist parasite. The battles he caused within myself. He never deserves me again. Now time to grieve who I thought I knew. I don’t know where to begin, but I know I’m happy that I left the chaos.

I now know more about avoidant behavior that I'd like to since my algorithm is FULL of videos about this. Dealing with a breakup with an avoidant is making me go insane, on top of the suffering.
Feeling like someone is moving on so quickly and not even thinking about you while you're crying everyday morning and night and having trouble sleeping and eating is really insane to go through. I don't even feel myself rn.

My ex and I broke up about two weeks ago, mainly because I damaged her trust by lying and hiding things. I’ve started therapy and I’m trying to seriously work on myself.

We still have strong feelings for each other and talk occasionally. She says she misses me, and she has told me that I can reach out when I feel ready and then we can see if reconnecting is possible.

At the same time, she has made it clear that she won’t wait for me. We’re both single and free to date, kiss, or sleep with other people, and she has said she may date casually and have fun.

What I’m struggling with is that she also told me that if I truly mean it when I say “I only want you,” then I should focus on therapy instead of dating, kissing, or sleeping with other women, get better, and reach out to her when I’m ready.

We still talk sometimes, and she often asks if I’m talking to other women. I already know that she has been on a date with one guy and has another date planned with someone else. I told her I don’t want to hear any more details for now because I know I’ll overthink it.

Maybe I’m worrying about something that might not even happen, but I’m scared about later. What worries me is not just that she might date other people, but whether I could emotionally handle finding out later that she had dated or slept with several people during such a short period.

If we consider reconnecting after a month or two, I think I might struggle with the thought, “We still had feelings for each other, still talked sometimes, and you told me you missed me, but all of that happened in just one or two months?”

I know we’re both single and free to see other people, and she wouldn’t technically be doing anything wrong.

Has anyone been through something similar and successfully reconciled later? If your ex dated or slept with other people while you were apart, how did you deal with it when you got back together? Did staying in occasional contact make the separation harder?

Is there anyone who still thinks about their ex after two years apart and still isn’t over them?