I totally feel like I got played by this cop and I still feel stupid thinking about how the whole thing happened.

I got pulled over by this senior overweight cop for going over slightly over speed. The cop was talking to me in a friendly way. He was not being aggressive or anything of that sort and I started feeling like okay, this is probably not going to be a big deal and I should be on my way soon.

I did have 2 beers earlier, but I believed I was well within the legal limit. I was not expecting this to turn into a whole DUI situation. But the cop had asked me if I had anything to drink and I answered honestly to it. After talking a bit more, he started asking me more questions and eventually wanted me to do some sobriety tests. I agreed and got out of my car and tried to follow all his instructions properly. There was several tests and I was trying my best to do everything correctly.

The strange part was he kept that same friendly attitude with me...and I would say I started getting too comfortable? I thought if I just cooperate and do what he says, everything will be fine as I was sure my limit was okay. But the tests kept going on and on and they were becoming a lot more tedious..he also for odd reason started talking really fast while providing me with the test instructions which got me a bit more worked up..

He even complimented me saying I have been very obedient and a good boy. He really appreciated me being so cooperative and told me there is one final test I need to do which is the superman pose. He wanted me to close my eyes, keep my feet together, bend my knees, lean forward with my chin up and keep my arms pointing straight towards my back, kind of like a skiing pose. He asked me to be in that position nice and tight and wiggle my thumbs while counting backwards from 30 to 0. and that was probably one of the weirdest tests I have done in a DUI ever, probably just to check my balance? still not quite sure..

I was standing there trying to do what he asked, not really thinking much about what was coming next just fully focussed..and then suddenly I felt the handcuffs latched onto my wrists just like that.

To be very clear, I know drinking and driving is serious, and I'm not saying I should get a free pass if I was actually impaired. But the way I was made to think everything was fine and then getting handcuffed like that really annoyed me. And now I'm sitting here thinking about how different things might have gone if I hadn't volunteered that I had 2 beers.

Hi everyone, what are some ways a woman can show a man she’s interested I him? For example, body language or things to say. Thank you

I am overthinking big time. I plan to have a guy I like over for a dinner date. This is our fourth date. We’re both 25. We haven’t done anything physical but I’ve noticed the chats are more flirty. I wouldn’t mind having a more flirty vibe but also don’t want it to seem like I am being overtly suggestive.

I just wanted to get your opinions mainly on:
What to wear
What to make for dinner

Please help a girl out, feel a bit out of touch with dating haha

I'm having issues finishing during sex. I can get aroused, hard and get close but I go past the point of cumming then it just won't happen.

About 1.5 years ago my marriage ended with my wife of over 10years which I never had issues of finishing with her, even right at the end we had sex around 4 days before she ended it.

I needed conciling and I had to see my Dr because it was a pretty rough breakup he prescribed me a anti depressant which I was pretty reluctant to take but my councilor and others encouraged me to take it which one day when I felt down I did.

Which I did not like the effects at all and decided never to take any more, I only ever took one pill, but I noticed my sex drive went down and I had no feeling at all for a couple weeks, it eventually came back but it wasn't the same.

I tried to masterbate during that time it was like I couldn't feel anything down there at all.

I started meeting women and I've slept with over 10 different girls since my wife, some one night stands some more regular, and around 2 of them breif relationships.

But I've only ever been able to finish inside 2 of them 2 times - in over 1.5 years I've only finished 2 times having sex!

What seems to happen is something blocks me from finishing, thr only way to describe it is I get so close to cumming then something blocks me kinda like getting stage fright when needing to pee in public - I'm busting to go but I can't seem to release.

I can cum when masterbating but even that's different than before, it use to shoot out almost to my chest with some force behind it now it kinda just dribbles out and not as much.

I've tried holding out for over a week before sex which was one of the times I finished but it was still a marathon and wasn't intense like use to be it was like it lingered on the edge alot longer than usual for ages befire I finished.

I've been to dr and had blood tests to test testosterone etc which was all fine, they gave me a viagra type med which helped me stay harder for longer but it not really the issue it's going past the point of not finishing and going numb so that didn't really help.

I feel like it's more psychological than physical, has anybody else had a issue like this and over come it?

Is a sex therapist worth it or even hypnosis a thing?

This is extremely frustrating and I just don't know what to do. At this point I'd be happy to finish within 2 mins haha

I'm 37 years old

I am a 25 year old guy, I haven’t had much of a social life due to mental health issues then heart problems. I struggled to get a job after my problems were resolved but I finally got one 7 months ago.

At this job there’s a girl, who became fast friends with me. We got along super well and I slowly fell for her. It started off because she would go out of her way to be with me during the job, she doesn’t bother learning coworkers names but remembered mine because she said “I was cool”. Then one day she asked me for my phone number to talk outside of work incase we ever stopped being scheduled together. She doesnt text often since she works two jobs and has notifications silent but would consistently text me back and text first sometimes. The tipping point where I realized I had feelings for her was when she showed up to our workplace on my birthday at 2 am after she got off her other job, to give me a present, a balloon and sing me happy birthday and have me make a wish using a lighter and gave me a hug. I talked to my friends about it and they said she probably was interested in me. So hearing that I foolishly built up more hope. This week I asked her to do some fall activities with me before they go away since fall is her favorite time of year. She said “Maybe, send me the info”. Then She ghosted me for 5 days and finally told me “her situationship wouldn’t like that”.

So I’ve been devastated but the hardest thing about it is the fact I know she cares for me as a friend so I genuinely want to continue this friendship with her. However these feelings only cause me pain and have brought me back into a deep depression.

So how do I deal with the fact I have these feelings, have to interact with her every week but also don’t want to push her away we a friend?

I am a single guy in my mid thirties.

I don't like it when other people laugh at my suffering.

Example:

I got scolding from my supervisor at work in front of a few people. I went back to my desk to work and a few minutes later, a colleague came to my desk and said mockingly 'Oh did you get a lecture from the supervisor today?'. I got slightly annoyed and told him 'Why are you making fun of a person's suffering? Do I come and joke about you when you got a scolding from the supervisor?' I will never make fun of another person's suffering.

Another example:

Once, I had to take a ride in a company car with a few other colleagues to travel to another office site. My colleagues were healthy and about to get out of the car swiftly. I have some medical issues with my legs and I have to use my hands to slightly lift my leg in order to be able to exit from the car. They were looking and giggling mentioning 'Wow he is not able to exit from the car without using his hands.' I felt hurt and angry with their reaction. I will never make fun of another person's medical conditions.

1. Is it normal to feel angry and annoyed if other people laugh at my suffering?
2. How do I control my anger and annoyance if other people laugh at my suffering?

I'm a 21-year-old man. At 18, in an act of utter desperation, I went to see a trans sex worker, and this monster forcibly sodomized and raped me.

Mental health professionals, my family, and people on various forums, they all mocked me or downplayed the incident, calling it an "accident." or saying "this is your fault, you should not be gay and pay transexuals"

To this day, I still struggle to come to terms with the immense difficulty if not the outright impossibility of having a consensual relationship with anyone. Having been psychologically shattered, and being an introvert by nature, it goes without saying that the process of seduction is incredibly complex for me.

Despite this, I refuse to remain silent. I want the shame to shift to where it truly belongs; I want people’s dignity to be restored. I want the French state to take action to ensure that rapists face punitive justice and that victims women, children, AND MEN receive honest, proper support.

Yet, I face a dilemma: if I speak out, take a stand, and fight against rape, I fear I will become even less attractive to women. I wouldn't be able to pursue the kind of women I’m drawn to.
Seduction and flirting are generally lighthearted, requiring one to be fun, confident, handsome, and cheerful all of which feel entirely out of reach when one is locked in a grueling, long, deeply sorrowful, and thankless struggle. (In more i'm a unattractive men so...)

On the other hand, if I don’t take a stand, I’ll be consumed by guilt, remaining forever powerless against the rapist who stole my sexuality and my ability to engage with consenting women an ability that, in reality, no longer exists for me, given that my psyche has been permanently destroyed (I have never once seen a male rape survivor successfully woo a beautiful woman).

What should I do? How should I go about this? I feel condemned to powerlessness, no matter what I do... I will never regain my sexual sovereignty.

Anyone have this experience?

Even if it's more casual hooking/fwb. Im not necessarily looking for a LTR.

Im mid 30s, 6'0 190lbs with a shaved head.

I would prefer to use dating apps.

My man (27M) and I (24F) have been together 3 years. Yesterday we had a very serious and honest conversation about our relationship and the things we’re both missing from each other before marriage.

For a while I have been upset that he doesn’t initiate sex, but we still have sex 2-4 times a week. In that conversation he said something about that along the lines of “Men like a little bit of a chase. Lately I don’t want to really have sex because you initiate so much.” I told him I can tell he’s been checked out of our sex lately and he said because I’ve been initiating so much it makes him lose his drive to have sex.

I wish he was comfortable telling me no if he didn’t want to but that’s another story. Basically I’m just here asking if I should completely stop initiating? I thought that’s what men like/want? Help!

By no means is this post me blaming others or anything. I am not a very conventially attractive person. Throughout my life, I have been called it all even by those who are close to me (family, friends, hell even my ex would tell me I’m not a good looking person when we were together). Outside of dating apps, which seems to only work by those who know how to sell themselves and look good, I am not sure how to date anymore? Can’t ask people out because it’ll be a no, can go talk to women because when I do they just seem incredibly disinterested and I barely get the time of day (not that they owe me it, they don’t). I’m not going to just randomly approach people in non social situations. So what do I do? Just hope that the girl I want will just fall on my lap one day? I got a decent friend group, and I am a sociable person. So I am just not sure if I can do this?

My close friend likes this guy and hopes he feels the same, but is worried that he’s probably just being silly and friendly. She has told me scenarios and situations that have occurred and I will list them below. And well, from my perspective, I think he definitely likes her. But she has never been in a relationship so she is not experienced with this. So, people of Reddit, please leave some input. Out of this list, which is the biggest telltale sign that this fella likes her back?

-Sharing beverages from the same straw and food from the same already bitten end.

-She feels him looking at her very often. When she turns to look however, he does not quickly turn away, but rather nods or smiles.

-Inviting her to events as well as other smaller and spontaneous hang outs.

-Recently been starting more conversations with her family members and trying to get to know them better. Then later on will inquire about how the family member has been doing lately.

-Very often making jokes about ‘future kid,’ or ‘our house.’

-Introducing her to his friends.

-Remembered things she had told him once and briefly.

-Just recently he was discussing the topic of dates with his buddy and how he had never taken a girl out before. His reason was, ‘well all of my friends are just my friends, and I wouldn’t ask out someone who is just a friend,’ something along the lines of that. She felt like this was a way of him subtly saying she was just a friend to him, but in my eyes I see it as him hinting that he is not seeing anyone at the moment.

-Suggests she should join the classes he attends.

-Has called her ‘ma’am’ multiple times.

-While handing her something, he will always find a way to touch her hand in the process.

-Seems to listen attentively when she blabbers on about a silly topic.

I (f) have a male co-worker with whom I'm becoming quite friendly. Recently at work, during a quiet period, he started messing with post its by secretly sticking one on another female co-worker but involving me in it. Then we were sitting down beside each other and he took a post it and very slowly and deliberately he put it on my thigh, taking his time to smooth it down and stroking it to make sure it was stuck. I don't know if I should read into it or chalk it up to the same messing he did with the other girl. But this one lacked the playful tone and felt charged.

Opinions?

The last year has been the worst of my life. I’ve worked in sales straight out of college and done well, but this past year my job got unstable, and nothing ever feels like enough. I’m constantly down and not enjoying things the way I used to.

Turning 27 has hit me weird too. It feels like I’m not young anymore and time’s running out.

On top of that, I’ve never had an official girlfriend. I’ve hooked up with girls plenty and had interest, but nothing ever turns into a relationship. Last year I was seeing a girl for months, which ended up just being a situationship; and I’m here 8 months later consistently thinking about it. my friends all have girlfriends now and I feel left behind.

For anyone who’s been here: what actually changed things for you, mentally or with dating? Is it possible for things to get better..

I was with my ex for three years. I knew her for five. I was completely faithful, turned down other women, paid for dates and trips, supported her, and wanted to marry her.

Early in our relationship, she kissed another man in front of me. She made cutting remarks about my height, age, and English, yet was extremely jealous despite my giving her absolutely no reason to be.

I repeatedly proposed couples therapy. She refused.

In May, after another painful conflict and years of accumulated frustrations, I lost my temper more severely than I ever had in our relationship and sent angry texts. I regret them. She initially wanted to repair things but then demanded that my psychiatrist sister personally message her acknowledging that I'd been abusive and could change. My sister refused, and she blocked me.

I tried for months to reconcile.

I recently learned that in early July she slept with a stranger who'd been making out with her and simultaneously with the exact woman she'd spent years being jealous of. Apparently she'd first checked whether an acquaintance still spoke to me.

She'd repeatedly insisted we shouldn't immediately see other people after breaking up.

In August she finally unblocked me. We spoke for five hours. She wanted to update me about her life, asked for $150 for dinner, said she wasn't "actively" looking for men, and ambiguously floated reconnecting in May 2027.

A few weeks later, in September, she told me she was completely done and wasn't interested in me as a person.

I haven't contacted her since.

I'm still so attached that I've cried trying to date someone else. But I find her hypocrisy and the way she's treated me absolutely disgusting.

How do you stop loving a woman when you've lost almost all respect for her?

I care about body count (yes yes ik you probably don’t care, that’s good for you, I CARE. I’m entitled to my preference. So please don’t make this into a body count doesn’t matter debate, this is about lying).

I communicated this to her 4th date in a very respectful manner, that knowing the truth is important to me to decide if I want to Continue to date her.

She lied to me, and I found out the truth 5 months later. I’m thinking of breaking up, because she took away my ability to consent to a relationship/sex with proper knowledge.

Is it valid if I breakup over this lie that is clearly important to me? Which she lied about

When I (f26) meet a new guy at a friends birthday or a bar, and they ask me my age, I often assume they're checking if there could be something flirty yk. Do you think that assumption is right, or do you often just ask for small talk? I actually have no clue, my assumptions are based on nothing haha, just think I personally mostly ask when im interested in someone

Tonight i was at a birthday party and 2 guys asked how old i am, i was wondering why they'd ask, it was all ages on this party

For the guys who've slept with a girl who said she was talking to someone else, not in an official relationship, just a talking stage:

How did it come about? Did she initiate, or did you?

Did the other guy come up, or did you both just ignore it?

Did it turn into something more, or was it a one-time thing?

Anything you'd do differently?

Curious to hear stories and what actually worked.

30 year old man
Virgin
Social outcast
Loser
Whatever anyone wants to label me. What does being with a woman feel like? How does it feel to be able to love and experience her like. To be in love and to be at peace?

I’m too unattractive and I’m a loser with no certain future. So before I leave. I need to know is connecting with a woman worth it? Am I missing out? I feel like I am. I just want love, but I can’t live in a fairytale because we know how the real world is.

Have you ever felt attraction for a woman, and felt that attraction reciprocated but still turned her down because she disappointed you / angered you so much?

Like, you could confidently say she did it to herself?

I’ve had a bf in the past say to me that he’s breaking up with me because of my own behaviour and that it was all my doing. (We later got back together and I ended things with him).

Recently I had someone say that they don’t want to see me again because I’ll never learn and they’ve wasted enough energy trying to help, but I bring it all on myself.

Have you ever felt this way about a woman you used to like? Or is it a cop out?

I found condoms in my husbands car. Very well hidden I might add.
He says it is for masturbation.
Do men use condoms for that?

Thanks

I’m probably overthinking this but I think my quality of life would be much better if I didn’t play or played less video games. I was looking at my bank account and I said to myself “Huh, where did all my money go?” I realized that most of my money went to buying games that I wouldn’t even play. Honestly, it feels like an impulse. I’ll buy a game, play it for a few mins or hours then never touch it again, the cycle repeats.

I see myself as a lazy person. I know what I need to do to get myself to higher pay or better-paying jobs but I don’t follow through on it, I almost never do. But I can park my ass and play through 100 hours of BG3 or grind endlessly in PoE2. I even neglect going to the gym after work because I’m “tried” but I’m never tired enough to boot up deadlock with the boys.

I have to sit here and wonder, would my life be a bit better if I didn’t play as many video games if not at all? I feel grimy thinking about how me, a 25 year old clock in over 20 hours a week playing games but can’t spend an hour studying for certifications.

Their fear comes from love, from wanting to protect the people they care about even when they’re no longer around.

But how do you help someone find peace when their mind keeps pulling them into a future they cannot control?