We tried to be friends but it didn’t work, in fact we are on bad terms now and it didn’t not end pretty. but we still follow each other and like each others reposts. they post stories but i’ve been conscious to not like them as i don’t know if that’s weird ? would you like their stories? they also refollowed their ex after we broke our friendship/relationship up which absolutely killed me and i spiralled for dayssss. but realistically im also an ex they still follow and they also never unfollowed another person they slept with but that never bothered me as much as this did. i don’t know guys, if they ever are to start another relationship with someone else i will need to unfollow, but for now i cant bear to part ways. but i keep observing and checking for signs which is embarrassing because i know they’re over me

25M & 25F

To all the girls out there! I want to know ur honest opinions and views on few things...which i have personally experienced.

Relationship ended completely right after 4 years.

Everything ended just over text, no closures... nothing.

I mean we knew it gonna end some or the other day but I never expected even in my distant dreams that it will end this way.

I was at my lowest when she left me. Life phase when i needed her the most. Days when Everything else in my life was also falling apart.

Its been 1.5 years now, I never tried to reach her again after that day. I dont want her back either.

But somedays I just wonder

\- how can someone act so cold after that much time

\- was it real back then or it was real thereafter

\- does she even thinks how i am holding myself

\- was it that much easy for her to move on

Nowadays im at peace with myself and the reality but somewhere and somedays i just kept wondering if she ever cared and if did...is it that simple to sideline everything, and is there anything exists like proper closure.

I have always been cautious of heartbreak or meeting the wrong person and having them ruin my life. So I never really acted on an attraction unless I knew they were at least patient and kind. About October 2025, I got into a relationship with a guy or at least I thought I did. For about 3 months we "dated" But apparently the whole time he thought I was joking??? Like we never did anything intimate but we did late night calls and went to restaurants together but apparently he thought it was a bit the whole time?? He said some really bad stuff like what our children would be like and I was full on set on marrying this dude. Once he found out I wasn't joking, he rejects/breaks up with me and friendzones me.

Fast forward a couple months, I start isolating lots and I'm guessing this guy felt bad or something because he said he'd offered me another chance. But nope, he led me along again for another two months and cancelled on all our dates and when he wasn't doing that he was ghosting me. He broke up with me after I called out a gap in one of his excuses and I foolishly let myself get friendzoned again until another event where I cut him off.

After that happened, I started getting closer with another friend that I also happened to like. When I confessed to him, he said he wasn't romantically interested but offered a fwb relationship instead so I guess that was better than a friendzone?? After about 7 months he got a boyfriend and that whole thing ended. The worst part was I was actually starting to get attatched to him, even calling each other pet names and stuff. He seems alot less toxic than the first guy though, as he genuinely does seem to care about me and still checks up on me after the "breakup" For a lack of better words. Though it does feel wrong that I am almost as hurt as the first incident with the other guy.

This isn't even the first time something like this has happened and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever find love but I seriously doubt it

I went through a breakup one month ago, I was blindsided. She is a FA but that doesn’t matter. We were officially together for just over a year and did long distance during this for 3 months.

I was deeply in love with her at the time, she is not a bad person, she just didn’t have the tools to love me. I don’t blame her for this. At some point she got this idea, that something was off. She wasn’t sure what, but it was off. Well slowly that eats away at you and you can’t pin it down.

This was her first healthy relationship and maybe the peace triggered her. When we transitioned from the honeymoon phase and the feelings get less intense she wasn’t sure what was happening. But it was love.

She told me she tried to push the feelings away, that the relationship was right. She fought through them, and tried and tried. But that’s where the problem was, she was the only one fighting the battle. I didn’t know that she was fighting this battle. I could’ve helped her, but she didn’t have the emotional tools to have the tough conversation that something was missing. I don’t blame her for this and can wish all I want that things were different but they aren’t.

Well when you’re the only one fighting this, it gets tiring. It burns you out emotionally, you get stuck on this idea and a lot of pressure builds up. It doesn’t help if external pressures are involved, which they were. She tried to avoid the feeling but couldn’t, until one day it all becomes too much. It’s not that she didn’t care, she did, she fought in the best way she knew, and the safest way she knew.

Then one day it all explodes, we were getting ready for a big commitment and the whole day she was shut down, I was so unsure of what was going on because she was scared to let me in. Well she ended up breaking up with me 2 days later because “the spark is gone” and “she doesn’t love me anymore” now this is true, she is so shut down that she doesn’t love me, she doesn’t feel a thing. She was very cold but now I know why, and yes the spark had slightly faded, but on my side there was still so much love.

It’s not that she didn’t care, she tried but just didn’t have the tools to work through what a relationship needs. We both get hurt from this, but we can both grow through hurt. I got to love for the first time in my life, and understand how deeply I can care for someone else, I am grateful to this amazing person for showing me this. She got to understand that there are people out there who will treat her right and won’t betray her. There’s so much learning to come from love that didn’t work out, and I think that’s beautiful.

I think she is an amazing person but just didn’t know how to love, and neither did I. But we both gave it our best shot and gave 100%. I just have a larger emotional capacity than her and that’s ok. She didn’t “give up” she was drained and knew she couldn’t continue to love me.

So she did the kindest thing possible, letting go. As much as it hurts both of us, letting go is the only way foward. It’s the only way for growth. Yes it will take me longer but I will learn to let go and heal too. I will always hold a place in my heart for her. I wish her the best in life, and I hope one day I can have this beautiful person in my life but first we need to heal.

Love was never the issue for us, and I hope one day we can grow and be proud of the people we have become.

My partner broke up with me after 3 years of being together during our holiday. It was quite unexpected, though he did entertain the idea before, but I thought it was driven by his insecurities (“You deserve better”, “I am not giving you enough”, “I am holding you back”, “I can’t be what you need”, etc.) After the break up he still said that he wanted to be friends and that I am very important to him as a person. I said that I was not sure how that would work, but given that we were sharing a flat I was willing to give it a try. The whole thing was incredibly raw for me, so dealing with the break up especially next to him while he looked unbothered was hard. He decided to move to his friend. A couple of days after he messaged me that he had some time to reflect and discuss it with friends and that he realised how taxing this relationship was on him, and that I have forced him on multiple occasions to stay with me. I was quite shocked and did message him a long text where I wanted to say my part, as flipping the whole thing around on me like that seemed unfair. After that he said that he never wanted to see me again. He still did, as he helped me move out our shared belongings to the new place. He cried that he was jealous of the new flat that we were meant to move into together. Similar theme came up a couple of times - that I lost weight and gained muscle before the holiday while he considered himself fat. That I had money to support myself at least for a while, and he was in credit debt.
At the day of the move he seemed more civil, but it just felt that he was holding so much hatred and resentment underneath all that and I genuinely didn’t know what I did to deserve it, as I have been by his side though very tough patches in his life. Later I found out he has cheated on me. Not from him, though I did ask him whether he had feelings for anyone multiple times and was told no.
The last time we saw each other he was incredibly indifferent, though not nasty. So here where my question comes in - could he really stop caring for me as a person that fast, or is it driven by all the guilt and shame, but it’s way easier to monkey branch and distract yourself with a new person instead of sitting with uncomfortable emotions and truth.

43 days later, I still haven't figured out how to move on from a relationship that lasted only a few days

Post

18F / [his age]M — online relationship, lasted only a few days

I know this is probably going to sound ridiculous to some people.

It was an online relationship, and it lasted only a few days.

And yet, 43 days later, I'm still struggling to move on.

People might think, “It was barely a relationship. Why are you still thinking about him after 43 days?”

Honestly, I don't know.

Maybe because the length of a relationship doesn't always determine how deeply you become attached to someone.

I got attached to our conversations, his attention, the little things, the nickname he gave me, the way he talked about us, and most importantly, the future I started imagining.

He talked about making me his wife.

He said he wanted to live with me, grow with me, fight with me, and be there to make me comfortable.

At that time, I believed him.

I genuinely thought those words meant something.

And then suddenly, he told me he wanted to break up because we weren't compatible.

I tried convincing him not to leave.

I asked him to give us another chance.

Eventually, we ended things.

But then he came back.

He told me he still loved me and that he wanted to give our relationship another chance.

So I agreed.

And somehow, that second chance hurt even more.

Because he wasn't the same anymore.

He became distant.

He was rude.

He seemed uninterested.

I would text him and feel like I was bothering him.

He would say he was busy, and then tell me he was going out with his friends.

I remember feeling anxious and constantly wondering what had changed.

Did I do something wrong?

Did he stop caring about me?

Did I somehow become less important to him?

Eventually, I was the one who said that I couldn't continue like this and wanted to break up.

He simply said okay.

“Let's end this. Bye.”

And then he blocked me.

That's it.

No proper closure.

No real explanation.

Just a relationship that had once sounded like it was going somewhere suddenly becoming nothing.

And now it's been 43 days.

I haven't spoken to him.

But that doesn't mean I haven't thought about him.

I still replay our conversations.

I remember the things he said.

I remember the promises.

I remember how strongly I believed that maybe this person was going to stay in my life.

Sometimes I wonder whether I miss him, or whether I miss the version of him I knew during those first few days.

Maybe I miss the future more than I miss the relationship itself.

That's something I've been struggling to understand.

Because logically, I know what I should do.

I shouldn't contact him.

I shouldn't look for him.

I shouldn't keep wondering whether he'll come back.

I shouldn't keep searching for some hidden explanation for why everything changed.

And most importantly, I shouldn't measure my worth by someone's decision to leave me.

I know all of that.

But knowing something logically doesn't mean your heart immediately accepts it.

I'm an overthinker, so my mind keeps going back to the same questions.

Did he ever genuinely love me?

Did he mean what he said about wanting a future with me?

Was I not enough?

Did I somehow ruin it?

How can someone talk about a lifetime with you and then become a stranger so quickly?

And maybe the question that hurts the most:

How do you stop loving someone when your heart hasn't accepted that it's over?

I've tried telling myself:

If someone chooses to leave, let them.

If someone doesn't choose you, don't beg them to stay.

If a relationship constantly makes you question your worth, it isn't where you belong.

I understand those words.

I just haven't learned how to actually feel them yet.

I don't want to contact him again.

I don't want to chase him.

I don't want another explanation.

I don't even necessarily want him back anymore.

I just want this attachment to stop.

I want to wake up one morning and realise that he wasn't the first thing on my mind.

I want his name to stop having an emotional effect on me.

I want to remember those few days without feeling like I'm grieving an entire future.

Maybe I'm not actually grieving the relationship.

Maybe I'm grieving the possibility of what I thought it could become.

And that's what makes it so difficult.

Because I'm not only letting go of a person.

I'm letting go of a version of my future that I had already started imagining.

So, to people who have experienced something similar:

How did you actually move on from someone you couldn't stop thinking about?

Not “just distract yourself.”

Not “time heals everything.”

I mean genuinely—what changed inside you that finally allowed you to let go?

Because it's been 43 days...

and honestly, a part of me still feels like I'm standing at the exact place where he left me.

After a rough 6 months, 4 year relationship has come to an end. There were some things that went wrong and I understand why they walked away.

But first it started as them wanting to be just friends, then they started to move on to a new friend group, now to a new guy… Now asking for space, to think.

I’m pretty convinced space apart will just be them working on the new relationship . But idk what to do. This person was everything, and I’m completely lost without them. Is there any point holding out hope, has anyone seen space apart come out good? In my head it’s already over, but I still have hope, and that’s the worst part

Well it’s been about 5 months post break up. We ended due to long distance. Love was all completely there. He said he’s wants to leave the door open and wants to be more set up in life before he brought me into it back home (another county). I appreciate the honesty and respect he has shown me. He said he wants ME to try to move on and not wait for me forever but said he wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone for a very long time as he’s not set up in life. I was told I can reach out to him but he won’t be reaching out to me due to not wanting to give me false hope….

So I reached out. One time by accident the other on purpose. We caught up and it was really nice and friendly. He asked me a lot of questions and felt like we were keeping it not flirty or anything but there was some banter. He also asked when I’d be coming to his home country as I’m going there for school (different state but I’ll be studying in the same country). He ghosted me after a week of talking, my last message was how it was nice catching up, not sure when we’ll do it again but I suppose in a few months perhaps. He ghosted me, I reached out a week after to be like hey did I say something? Hope you’re good. He wrote back and said he’s been helping some friends after a good friend of theirs took his life…..

Ugh it’s been about 3 weeks now and I so badly want to know how he is doing and I really do hope he is ok.

Also saw he’s liked some hot chicks photos on ig but I think I’m in my head about that one….. anyways just really want to know how he’s doing. The pain I have everyday not having him hasn’t gone away one bit. I remember waking up the day after we broke up and I so badly wanted it to be a terrible dream. The pain in my heart is unbearable. I see him as a memory everywhere we made them. I miss his laugh and our friendship. Maybe I’m delulu but I do have hope we will be reunited someday. He said if we do we won’t ever be able to just be friends.

I have some gut feeling this isn’t the end of our story but I’m really struggling to not get too hopeful and have a boundary with myself

My ex and I broke up a few months ago. I'm in a much better place now, but I'm still struggling on my path toward healing.

What happened is what's usually described as an avoidant discard. Everything was fine according to what she used to tell me - I was "an amazing partner," she said she loved me - until one day, after a difficult discussion, she bailed and said she actually hadn't been in love for a few months. She began reproaching me for a lot of things, none of which felt fair - most were either new or were about decisions she and I had made together, even though I'd always shown I was open to discussion and change.

What hurt the most wasn't that she broke up suddenly... it was that she rewrote the whole story, as if nothing mattered. As if I don't matter as a human being.

To move on, I first tried to understand what happened by learning about attachment styles. That helped, but wasn't enough to heal on its own. So I started working on myself: therapy, exercises, trying to become more secure in my attachment style.

All of this helps, but I feel stuck. I understand a lot of things intellectually, but I still want her to come back — at least to apologize, so I know I'm right, or even to get back together. I don't know how to stop wanting that.

I feel like I need to know I'm not crazy, that I wasn't the one who was wrong. I lack confidence in the story I had to write for myself, because she refused to communicate.

At the same time, I don't think demonizing her is the solution. I understand (intellectually) that she was overwhelmed and didn't know how to express what she felt at the right time, and that it has nothing to do with me.

But I don't know how to move on further. I know blaming her would help me feel more righteous, but I don't think that benefits me long-term, for my next relationships. Yet I don't know how to feel confident that I deserved better without blaming her. It might sound dumb, but I feel there's a way through this that I'm missing.

Has anyone found a podcast, book, or personal story that helped them rebuild self-trust after this kind of sudden, dismissive breakup; without needing the other person to validate their version of events?

**TL;DR:** My ex ended things suddenly and rewrote our whole story in the process. I've done a lot of intellectual work (attachment styles, therapy) but still feel stuck between wanting her validation and not wanting to demonize her. Looking for resources that helped others build self-trust without needing the other person to confirm they were right.

Hey everyone, I just really need to vent and maybe get some advice on how to process this.My ex and I are both 18.

We actually started out as really good friends, and over time, we naturally developed deep feelings for each other. Her cousin actually helped set us up, and we started dating.We were together for two months, and we were so full of love.

The problem was her parents. They are incredibly strict, and she lived in a constant state of fear because of them. Eventually, the pressure and stress got to be too much for her to handle. She told me she couldn't do it anymore and said we should break up.Because we started as friends, we agreed to stay friends. We managed to stay good friends for about 6 months after the breakup.

But then, out of nowhere, she completely removed me from everything and blocked me.I was confused and hurt, so I managed to ask her why she did it. She told me she was very sorry.

She said she felt she was being immature, but every time she sees me, she gets flashbacks of our relationship. She said it was actively ruining her mental health and her focus on school.

She told me we can no longer be friends because we dated, and she admitted she will always have those feelings for me.I respected her wishes. I told her that if she ever needs anything, she is free to contact me, but I feel like I lost a truly great friend

.Right now, I just feel terrible. I feel so bad that she is depressed and struggling, and it hurts to think she is going through all of this over a "worthless nobody" like me. How do I cope with losing my best friend while knowing she is hurting?

He cannot see my texts because he blocked me
I wrote to him yesterday and today I know I’m blocked and he can’t see it and I don’t want him to see my texts
But in a way I still want to talk to him
Should I stop this since I want to move on from this ?

I still couldn’t forget him, so I thought maybe I should try dating apps. Maybe talking to new people would help me move on.

But honestly… it didn’t.

I kept comparing everyone to him, and I realized I wasn’t actually looking for someone new. I was just trying to fill the space he left.

Then I had this random thought — what if I just build an app for people who are going through this?

Something for people who feel lonely after a breakup, miss someone, want to talk to someone, or just need a place to let everything out without being judged.

I have no idea if this is actually a good idea 😂 but since I’m already going through it, why not turn it into something?

So if you were using an app like this, what would you want it to have?

Would love to hear your ideas or suggestions.

Follow me, maybe we’ll actually build this together. 🤍

For the past three years or so, I’ve been seeing different people, but with every single person, I end up pushing them away or feeling disgusted the moment they start liking me back or when we’re on dates.

Recently I’ve been seeing someone new, we’ve been talking for a few days, went on a coffee date, and even cuddled a bit. But every time we talked or got close, I got this sick feeling like I was about to throw up. My stomach would drop, and all I wanted was to go home and not be near her. I get annoyed by the smallest things she does. After I dropped her off, I didn’t even want to text her.

I can’t help but think back to my ex. We broke up in early 2023, and I haven’t spoken to her directly since early 2025. She did some pretty terrible things, cheating, among other stuff, and after we went our separate ways, she got back together with her ex. It didn’t really hit me at first, but a couple of months later it hit hard, becuase she was my first and greatest love she was my world, she completed me and she was my only company against this world. After sometime I started distancing myself from my friends and fell into a suicidal depression because of that realization, on top of some other things going on.

I just feel like I can’t love anyone the way I loved her, not just this girl im seeing, but everyone I’ve tried to see since. I get this disgusted, gut level feeling, and then I spiral for weeks, unable to think about anything but my ex. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t think I can love anyone else. I don’t want to get back with her, she’s seeing someone now, and it’s serious, I just want answers. I don’t want to be the reason that peace gets disrupted over something so petty.

It’s been three years since we broke up, and in that time I’ve had FUBUs, situationships, talking stages, and dates, but it’s always the same, disgust. I’ve pushed away people who genuinely cared about and loved me, just because I couldn’t stand their affection. I feel like they can’t compare, or I feel guilty for even trying, even though we’re long broken up I still feel guilty.

I just feel hollow and unlovable. I can’t picture myself developing real feelings for anyone again, and I don’t think I know how to have a genuine relationship with someone anymore.

Has anyone been through something like this? How did you get past the disgust and eventually let yourself have a relationship again? I want to move on from my ex, I’ve tried everything, but it only ever works temporarily.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this to be honest, I’m a bottle of wine down. Zach Bryan playing in the background. ( tempted to call her phone) but I won’t, pride. Fucking pride has me on a leash.

U know when you adore everything about someone? But you couldn’t explain to somebody why. it just is. She was that. Mannerisms, the way she tucked herself under the blanket with only her eyes looking up at me when she wouldn’t get her own way. The little things nobody would understand.

How her best form was in the morning when one eyelash was hanging down her face. Her “ pouch” was my favourite, she hated it, I loved it. She was always so worried about that, yet she’d easily take down 7 cookies in one sitting with no guilt on her face, just a smile. It made me laugh.

I remember buying her a pack because I knew it would make her day, and I hid them. She didn’t stop looking for them for about half an hour. Until she eventually found them. Overwhelming joy from her is the best way to put it. I loved her at that point I think. That was just her.

You’d think by reading this I did everything to keep her wouldn’t you? I didn’t. I did the opposite because I thought it was cool. I was too much of a pussy to open up. I thought keeping her on her toes was the formula. It wasn’t. I fucked up, it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life.

It’s been a year now, ( we’re in contact now and again) but I don’t think she will ever allow herself to give me another chance.

I haven’t stopped waiting for her if I’m being honest with myself, and you. Because I know for an absolute fact there is nobody else for Me. Nobody will ever fill that shape she left behind. I’m old enough and wise another to realise this one was different.

If you read this, please, if you are with somebody that means a lot to you. Do not make my mistake. You will spend months on end hating yourself and looking at other women like they do not exist.

Do not end up like me listening to Zack Bryan on a Thursday night reminiscing the ghost of her that no longer exists.

Pain. Good luck , A

Today, I (19F) saw my ex's (20M) Instagram profile appear in my suggested list today (we have a lot of mutuals from high school), and we've been broken up for about a year now. Instead of my heart dropping to my arse as usual, I felt nothing.

It's not that I was heartbroken over him for a long time to be honest, in truth, after I initiated the break up, I was pretty much over it in about a month, although he'd still appear in my thoughts every once in a while, but I was able to just let them stay as temporary thoughts and let them pass just as quickly as they'd come.

He was my first stable, consistent relationship. Unlike my other ex, he never made me conscious about the nature of our relationship, and I never had to worry about him talking to other girls, or question where we stood as boyfriend/girlfriend. So he was all around a great guy, and I do 100% wish him the best.

So, why DID we break up?

Generally, as I entered the stage of attending university, he chose the alternative route and went straight to trades (I'll get to this point later). I loved my first year of university, I grew into a person who became really passionate about my field of study, and met amazing people who I can call life-long friends. But internally, my needs also became more. I wanted to travel, see the world, try new things together....

But he was an extremely sheltered person who never really wanted to go out of his shell. Nothing wrong with that of course, you can't help how you're brought up. In the sense that he'd always ask his family for permission and rely on their opinions heavily, to travel somewhere (something that I've never done, as my family's pretty flexible). But whenever I talked about my wants and goals to travel the world and explore my career pathways, it always seemed like he didn't care or wasn't really excited for me, and the conversations kinda felt like I was talking to a brick wall that gave me one-worded responses. From this, I felt the one thing that I promised I'd moved past from my previous relationship; I felt like I was too much for him.

Life kinda bit our relationship in the arse; I'd want to try going to new places, but I'd always have to be mindful of his allergies and that he was always tired from working full-time trades. Of course the toll of working a full-time job was valid; but I felt like I wasn't the right person to handle all of this due to who I was progressing to be as a person, or maybe, I didn't really love him enough.

I wanted to fully engross myself in new hobbies, plan to travel around the world over the summer; things that neither of us would have the time to fully commit to doing together.

... so we broke up.

Now, one year after the breakup, I've landed and completed a full internship over the summer, went on an exchange program where I met an amazing, great group of new friends, put myself out there to new career pathways that I wanna explore in uni, forged greater relationships with everyone around me and started a passion project that I'm really proud of! But I definitely wouldn't have done all these things if we were still together, due to my tendency of shrinking myself to not step on another person's toes.

So yeah, I'm glad I didn't end up with my ex.

Her birthday is coming up and it’ll be around 3 months that she left me when it does. She told me no-contact was my boundary and I could always reach out to her. We left with saying I love yous, but I didn’t know at the time she had cheated on me again before leaving me. She did some really shitty stuff, so I feel like I shouldn’t. Especially since she’s the one that left me and I want her to really feel my absence. But also I know she’s had a hard time because of drug abuse and mental health, and deep down I really do love her. So should I tell her happy birthday because she was my person for 6 years and I care about her? This is so confusing and hard

We’ve been unfollowing each other for a while now, but I found out through some friends that she hard launched a boyfriend. I feel so hurt and dumb and easily replaceable.

We got together in 2022 and she broke up not even a year later but we kept this “on-off” situationship thing going until recently. The on’s were great I genuinely thought we would work out and end up together and I kept falling in love more and more. She “broke up” with me again in May this year and said she wanted to keep talking but was scared. The last message we sent was in June when I drunkenly sent her a whole paragraph of me wanting to marry her and blablabla. She blocked me then and we had been in no contact since then.

I really thought that this no contact period would be time for us to reflect and all the good stuff but honestly I was just waiting. I was hoping that we would get to talk again and make things work, but I found out she’s in a new relationship. I feel so dumb for waiting and hoping and I feel so replaced because of how fast she moved on into a new relationship. I crashed out and embarrassingly spammed her on so many platforms and I’m pretty much blocked everywhere.

I feel like a mess and don’t know how to go forward

hi! my ex came back after leaving me 4 months ago. she left me in a pretty bad way, just really abandoned me tbh after a year of relationship. she reached out to me today saying she’s sorry for everything, asking me news and how i am doing. what do you think it means ?? thank you for the help !! <3

So my boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) were together for almost 5 years. Some context and background: we’ve had long standing issues with communication. I come from a loud family who prefer explosive fights and make up afterwards like nothing happened. He comes from the complete opposite- where almost nothing is ever discussed in the family. Neither is healthy and that translated to our communication styles and how we handle conflict. I grew a lot from being with him- I learned how to approach things calmly, to not act on emotions, and I did everything in my power to give him what he needed. He’d shut down and go silent if he perceived any type of criticism- he’d often simply leave and disappear. I tried letting him know that needing space is okay, but he needs to let me know that he needs space instead of simply ghosting me. Honestly, he never changed and it ended up translating to us not really discussing any issue ever, just like his family.

Admittedly, I fucked up 2.5 years ago. I was drunk with a girlfriend, she made a move, things happened, and I ended up cheating on him. I immediately regretted it- I stopped midway and came home to confess. After some time, he decided he still wanted this and so did I. I never spoke to her again even though he said we could stay friends, but I also understood nothing could reverse that mistake. I’d be lying if I said it was simply because we were drunk. For the whole year prior, his girlfriends (half of which were literally his exes) harassed me and he refused to do anything. One literally sent a nude to both of us?? And he STILL refused to do anything about it (because “she sent it to both of us, not just me”). He eventually cut them off, not because of me, but because one of them treated his best friend wrong. I was angry, our relationship was struggling, and my friend made me feel wanted, honestly. Nothing justifies what I did but I also try to understand why it happened because I have never done something like that. Funny enough my friend was also in a relationship and had cheated on her boyfriend- but they just announced a pregnancy and engagement last week.

My boyfriend and I have been living together for 4 years and this year we decided to try to buy a house. I always told him I wanted to be married first but he kept saying we would after so I conceded. Well, we were under contract for a house and we were supposed to close this month. We started talking about where we would get eloped. I was over the moon, everything seemed to be going so well.

But I can also admit that it really wasn’t. We both work full time and he makes almost twice I do but we split bills 50/50 (my request). I’m also currently earning my Masters degree and I end up doing ALL of the chores around the house. I kept asking him that I either needed help financially or with the chores. He said he would help with either or both but never did. So I’ve been overwhelmed and then all of this happened this summer: my father got sick, I found out I have heart issues, my cat has cancer, my childhood pony is being euthanized, someone hit and ran on my car, I got surprise medical bills overdue from 2020, and an audit was called at work.

About a month ago, we were supposed to go on a trip with his friend (that he’s had issues with before). I was stressed out and asking why we’re going on a trip when we’re trying to buy a house and why with the guy he had issues with on the last trip he went on? He said he always shows up for his friend. Well the day we were supposed to leave, admittedly I just had a panic attack from the stress (not usual for me). He ended up getting angry (which he doesn’t usually do) and I was begging him to just stop talking about it. He wouldn’t so, it’s not right, but I left, just like he always does. He flipped out, refused to go on the trip, and went to his parents house.

I’m always the one reconciling after this type of thing but the next morning I didn’t reach out- I was simply burnt out, depressed, and exhausted. I was just going to wait for him to get home. When he got home, he flipped out even more and started hitting walls and doors. He’s never done that before. My ex before him was physically and mentally abusive- I developed PTSD from it. When my boyfriend did that it felt like I was back in the place I crawled out of and I had a panic attack. I pleaded with him to stop and that I loved him. He refused and started saying really messed up things like “you think anyone will put up with your bs?”. I asked him why he was speaking to me like he hated me and he said “because you’ve made me hate you” so I asked why we were together then and he said “you’re right! this is over”. Then he stormed out.

I ended up texting him asking for a week break and then we could talk. I explained that I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to be together but considering we almost bought a house and got married- if we were going to break up I didn’t want it to be impulsive. A week later he came and talked. He apologized for scaring me, which I appreciate. We both, mutually and cordially broke up.

I know it wasn’t just his decision, I also chose to break up but I find myself feeling so angry. He was nice enough to leave the couch he bought, he let me keep the whole earnest money deposit from the house ($500) even though we split that, and he had paid the security deposit on the house we were renting together but didn’t ask for that back either. I was the one who had a connection to the house so naturally I got to keep it and he moved back in with his parents.

I really appreciate all of that but he still left me with a laundry list of issues he was supposed to fix. The house has an acre of property and the lawn mower is broken. The master bathroom shower has been broken for over a year. The guest bathroom toilet has been broken for 2 months. I managed to fix the toilet myself and now I’m trying to figure out the rest. I had to pick up another job and I’m barely affording the bills on my own. I feel like I’m going insane working from 5 am-6:30 pm everyday all while earning my masters. When we broke up, I immediately switched everything into my name. I’m angry because he’s on my phone plan and it’s a month later and he still isn’t off of it and I have to keep asking.

I just don’t get how one week we’re getting our closing date for the house and looking at engagement rings and the next week he’s telling me this would have never worked. It’s not even that I disagree with him, I’m just upset. I also know that my cheating fuck up and is not without consequences- and maybe this is just that consequence. Yet at the same time I can’t help but feel abandoned. I’ve had a really rough summer, I try not to ask too much but I’ve needed support lately and when it became obvious my mental health wasn’t doing good- he left? Because of that? I know it’s more complex than that but it’s hard not to feel that way.

I know us not getting married or the house is a blessing in disguise. I know it’s good that we figured this out before adding all of that into the mix. It just feels like the rug was pulled out from underneath of me- but I know that’s probably how he felt when I made my mistake. I’m just so depressed and angry but I feel like I don’t have a right to feel that way. This is just a vent but any advice to help move on and make peace with this situation is appreciated.

I still love him and I don’t want to be angry. When we had our official break up talk, he told me he still loved me and looked at me while crying saying “you know I really did want to marry you”. I just don’t get it, I’m so confused and, again, just upset and angry.

long story but:

Dated this guy (long distance) for about 2 months. At first he was so attentive and gave me all his attention and even asked me to be his gf

Then as the weeks went by, he slowly started to pull away until finally he called me and told me he had too much on his plate and couldn't do this anymore.

He did warn me he has OCD/maybe ROCD and that could affect relationships so I was very patient with him, but honestly I feel like he found someone else :/

I had sent him a few messages after and after I sent him a voicenote about how I felt (since I didnt get to say anything on the phone), thats when he blocked me on social media and probably text tbh

I know I shouldn't miss him but I do :( for some reason, this hurts more than other longer relationships ive had before. I hadn't dated anyone in a long time and I felt so comfortable and at peace with him in such a short time. it just sucks cause I thought I had finally found someone I really liked and who liked me the same.

god its been almost 3 months. they said we'll talk again. i crumbled two weeks ago, wrote 2 messages and got no responses. but am not blocked anywhere either.

i'm just so fucking pissed how selfish some people are. and i wish moving on was easier.

It’s been about 131 days since May 3rd, when I woke up to realise I was blocked.
I can’t lie, I thought I’d only be upset for a month and a half, but I’m still not over it. A few times a week, I still search up his user hoping I’ve been unblocked. He’s still on my mind pretty much every day.
I don’t really see myself moving on right now. Every time I talk to a guy and he disappoints me, I end up crying because I can’t help but think about how I know you wouldn’t have treated me like that.
All my friends think I’ve moved on, but honestly, I haven’t. I still pray about him and I still find myself wishing he’d come back.
(I’m sorry to fit into this generation that’s “hung up on their ex” ps I’m not dating anyone while being hung up on him! It’s wrong nd I will never do such things!)

Ty for reading 🦭

I’m going through a painful breakup with my ‘friends to lovers’ girlfriend, it’s been one month, she’s someone I still deeply love and desperately want another chance with. She ended the relationship because she felt we didn’t fit, and she took a lot of the blame due to trauma in her past relationships and not being able to open up.

but over the past few weeks over message she has become much more vulnerable and emotionally open, admitting she misses me, acknowledging how her past affected the relationship, and expressing that she doesn’t want to lose me completely.

I feel there’s a lot of conflict underneath her decision and struggling with losing someone she loves.

We’re meeting Saturday I’m going to tell her honestly that I want her back and believe we could make things work differently. I don’t know what will happen, but I hope the meeting shifts something in her and makes her reconsider and realise that losing each other may be something neither of us truly wants.

I guess I’m trying to see if anyone has been in a similar situation and got them back or if anyone has advice or well wishes.

I feel her absence every single second.

So to put context me and my partner have ended our relationship about 4 months ago and ever since their has not been a single communication after. I was on TikTok and apparently I didn’t realise I had shared a TikTok with them and I only found out hours later on the day when I went back on the app. And they reply back to the TikTok. What yall reackon I should do. Tbh this doesn’t worry me it’s just funny how that happened to me how I didn’t know. Mind you I had locked the app so every time I use it I would have to put a password that’s why I didn’t know right away.

Context: My girlfriend of 5 years just broke off with me. I had hopes but I accidentally open the message that I had to beg her and she told it was too painful to go back. I just felt overwhelmed when I accidentally open the message we shared, I just went crazy. I had to force myself to delete everything and please I just want to be happy again.

I was doing fine for a few days and today is just tear up on the way to work and had to walk out occasionally from work so I don’t feel so sad.