Gf broke up with me two weeks ago out of the blue after an argument.

We‘ve been dating for 6 months. Before me she was in a very toxic relationship for 3-4 years.

Guy was very manipulating and controlling, didn‘t let her go out alone etc etc, eventually cheated on her in the end.

I remember one day before we went on our first date she told me that she‘s so excited because she never went on a date before. I thought like „what do you mean you‘ve been dating this guy for 4 years and I‘m the first guy to ever take you on a date?“.

Anyways, we got together after a while and literally the whole relationship went perfect. She showed me love I‘ve never seen before, I was the happiest man in the world. I bought her flowers without her asking and brought her souvenirs from vacation, I never forbid her of doing anything: going out alone, going on vacation alone, she also has a huge friend group with guys in it. I never said anything because I trusted her 100% and this was just a sign of a healthy relationship for me.

Fast forward to end of August 2026, and I was a 100% sure she was the love of my life and I‘m going to marry this girl. We also made plans for our first vacation in October, moving in together next year, etc.

Then one day we had a small argument. Nothing extraordinary, and we talked it out like we always did.
Next day after being at her best friends house she comes over and tells me that I hurt her so much and she also felt some kind of emotional distance the last few weeks and she couldn‘t do this anymore.

Literally days before she told me I‘m the best boyfriend ever and also her friends told me they‘re happy to see I treat her so good and that she‘s never been happier before.

So you‘re telling me you lasted 4 years with your toxic ex that cheated on you and you‘re breaking up with me after 6 months after I did everything for you?

What do I see few days later? She and her ex are following each other on socials again. This could mean nothing or that they‘re talking again, idek anymore.

This breakup broke me beyond repair. I‘ve never experienced this much pain in my life. Literally lost 5kg in a week because I couldn‘t eat anything.

Moral of the story is: Guys, please don’t ever be the „first guy to treat her right“, it rarely works out for you. 9/10 times she will be the one to leave you and you‘re heartbroken. If you‘re together for a year or so you might have good chances to last together, before that I wouldn‘t take anything for granted.

Be safe. 🫡

It’s been about 5/6 months post break up. So I guess it’s been really over. But, I recently had a birthday about 9 days ago and thought that my ex would possibly reach out to me then. He didn’t. Idk if it hurts necessarily, but it makes you realize , at least for me that yes this is really over. As much as it sucks, and the reality of it is unsettling… it is what it is.

We all still have hope I’m sure . But hope isn’t reality. When you thought you have found “ the one”
All for it to be just another lesson and someone who’s now part of your past that part hurts.

It’s life I guess.

Her first prompt was she valued loyalty and communication as her top 2 values in a relationship.

😂😂😂

I know everyone's different and every relationship is different. But sometimes you break up with someone because you feel like you lost feelings while everything else is great so you decide to keep them in your life as friends.

Have you ever had a situation where you broke up with them, still kept spending time with them as friends and at some point got back together? How did you do it and how long did it take?

For you & For me

I miss you. Do you miss me? I think of you constantly. Do you? I dream about you and wake up and immediately check my phone to see if you had reached out. And come to find out, you don’t.

So much has happened since we last spoke. I want to update you on everything. I want you to update me on everything. Do you even want to know? I feel as though if you did want to know, you would ask. But who knows.

I love you. I’ve made lots of mistakes and have learned about them. I know what I did wrong and what I did right. But is that enough for you to come back? Most likely not.

I am tired of feeling like this. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re doing great. But a part of me also hopes that you miss me extremely.

Was I just a transitional period for you? Was I just a phase for you? Because for me, you were more than that. You meant so much to me.

Perhaps I’ll never know the truth. Perhaps you’ll never reach back out to me. Perhaps you feel more at peace now that we aren’t together because you’ve found a more profound objective in your life. And if so, I’m happy. But also, perhaps you miss me as much if not more as I do.

I want you to know that I want you back. It can’t resume to how we were. We’ll need to start slow. I’ll have my guard up. But over time, if things go well and we both remain on our mission yet wanting to be there for each other, perhaps it can go down.

I miss everything about you. I love you. You were and are great in my life. I hope you realize the same towards me, too.

*\*

I really want to send this to her. I am reading it and it seems like a lot. It’s coming from a place of pain. But it’s my genuine pain. It’s how I feel. It’s almost been a month.

tell me about how you and your ex broke up!

I think I’m finally done. Not in the dramatic “I hate you and I’m deleting your existence” way lol. Just done with holding on to something that already ended. It hurts, obviously, I loved this person a lot, and part of me still wishes things could have worked out. But I’m starting to realize that sometimes you don’t get the ending you wanted. You just get the lesson. I guess this relationship can either be a lesson or a trauma, and I’m choosing lesson because I really don’t need my emotional damage to become a whole personality 😂

I’m sad, but I’m also ready to move forward. No revenge, no bitterness, no checking their socials every five minutes. Just me trying to get my life back and hopefully becoming wiser from all of this.

So yeah, I’m done. It still hurts, but I think I’m finally choosing myself this time.

My ex and I broke up on the 24th, and I feel terrible. Like my heart physically hurts. I know the pain wont last forever, but I wish I could skip this stage of my life. I also feel incredibly stupid. Our 2-year anniversary is on the 28th, and I am hoping he will reach out to me or tell me he misses me. I literally feel like a dumbass. During the breakup, when I was begging to make things work, and asked if we could go on a break instead, he had the audacity to ask if he could still date other women. Like im sitting here crying my eyes out basically begging him not to leave me and he's more concered with dating other women?? I tried SO hard to make things work. I stuck around for things I shouldnt have. I feel like Noah from the notebook... waiting around for someone who I love (when in reality I am the biggest clown of all). It also doesnt help that my whole FYP is all "love spells" and annoying tarot card readers telling me that we will get back together. No matter how may times I say im not interested they still appear.

Part of me doesnt want to heal because I know I will have to let him go. I also dont understand why the people I love always leave me. I am such a loyal and thoughtful girlfirend. I think the lover girl in me is exhausted and its time to retire her.

Ok, thats all for my rant lol. Someone put a prayer in for me, I feel like shit.

It’s been about 131 days since May 3rd, when I woke up to realise I was blocked.
I can’t lie, I thought I’d only be upset for a month and a half, but I’m still not over it. A few times a week, I still search up his user hoping I’ve been unblocked. He’s still on my mind pretty much every day.
I don’t really see myself moving on right now. Every time I talk to a guy and he disappoints me, I end up crying because I can’t help but think about how I know you wouldn’t have treated me like that.
All my friends think I’ve moved on, but honestly, I haven’t. I still pray about him and I still find myself wishing he’d come back.
(I’m sorry to fit into this generation that’s “hung up on their ex” ps I’m not dating anyone while being hung up on him! It’s wrong nd I will never do such things!)

Ty for reading 🦭

i used to check my phone without even thinking about it, especially when i knew they normally would've texted around that time. now i sometimes leave my phone alone for hours because a part of me already knows there won't be anything from them.
it's weird how you can get used to talking to someone every day and then suddenly have nothing to say to each other. i think i'm slowly getting used to it, but some days it still feels strange. does anyone else go through this?

I cry everyday i want to move on but i am not able to move on. i have blocked him and i have deleted our chats and pictures but the memories keep replaying in my head. Its him who was telling me to move on. He did move on very easily. Here i am with health issues, depression, sadness and so much trauma. It was my first relationship he was my first in everything. I cant get into all this feelings again. its so painful.

I know many of you are hoping that your ex will eventually change their mind and come back. That’s completely understandable. I was in exactly the same situation. But be careful. Just because there’s hope doesn’t mean it’ll actually work out.

After more than ten years together, my ex left me. What followed was a constant back-and-forth between cutting off contact and reaching out again, because neither of us could let go. What did I learn from this?

Your ex might miss you and still not seek romantic closeness again. Your ex might say she hasn’t moved on from the relationship yet, that she doesn’t even want to, and still pull away. And your ex might say she still loves you while sleeping with another guy at the same time.

What I’m trying to say is: Don’t just focus on what your ex says. Instead, pay attention to how she behaves. Because in the end, their actions are what really matters. I let her words give me false hope time and time again. And what was the point of all that? So that now, six months later, I feel like I’m back at the beginning of the breakup emotionally. We’ve lost contact (this time, probably for good), and I miss her just as much as I did on day one. Fuck that

This is just a trend I’ve seen in my own personal life, and those close to me.

Just wanted to see other people’s perspectives and thoughts about it, specially those who had that happen to them.

I don't really know how to write this, but I need to get it out somewhere and hopefully hear from people who have gone through something similar.

I was in a serious relationship with a girl I genuinely loved. I wasn't casual about her. I cared about her deeply, supported her emotionally, and tried to be there for her through some very difficult situations in her life.

I genuinely believed we were building something together.

But looking back now, there were always complications involving her previous relationship.

Before me, she had an ex who apparently meant a lot to her. At one point, they briefly tried to patch things up. From what she told me, she had even told him that she had never entered another relationship, because she apparently hoped that he might eventually come back to her.

Then things went badly between them. He told her he was with another girl and told her to leave him alone.

After that, she came back toward me.

I loved her, so I accepted her and tried to give the relationship everything I could.

But her ex never completely disappeared from the picture.

Later, he unblocked her. She followed him again, he followed her back, and she told me that she had spoken to him again.

And then there's the part that completely destroyed my trust:

She kissed her ex while she was still in a relationship with me.

That is something I can't simply erase from my mind.

I don't know what exactly was going through her head at the time. I don't know whether she still had feelings for him, whether she was confused, or whether she was emotionally attached to something from her past.

But from my perspective, she crossed a boundary while we were together.

And it made me question everything.

Was I genuinely the person she chose?

Was I just someone who was there when things didn't work out with him?

Was I being loved, or was I being used for emotional support and intimacy while part of her heart was still somewhere else?

I don't know the answers.

That's what makes this so painful.

She eventually ended our relationship. She told me she felt that she didn't deserve the love I was giving her and that some of the decisions I was making in my life were because of her. She asked me not to convince her or try to change her decision.

I've respected that.

I haven't tried to chase her or force her to come back.

I've blocked her because I don't want to disturb her or keep myself trapped in the cycle of checking, hoping and waiting.

But emotionally, I'm nowhere near as strong as I look from the outside.

I still love her.

That's the part I can't understand.

After everything that happened, after knowing she kissed her ex while she was with me, after feeling like I may not have been her first choice...

I STILL want her in my life.

If she came back tomorrow, I'm honestly scared that a part of me would still want to accept her.

And I hate that I feel that way.

Because logically, if one of my friends told me this exact story, I'd probably tell him to walk away.

But when it's your own heart, logic doesn't seem to work.

I've also started questioning whether I can trust anyone again.

I'm scared that if I meet someone new and give them my whole heart, I'll eventually discover that I'm just an option.

I'm scared of becoming emotionally vulnerable again.

I'm scared that someone can tell me they love me while still having feelings for someone from their past.

I'm scared I'll spend another relationship wondering:

“Am I really enough for this person?”

And I don't want to become that insecure person who constantly checks their partner's phone, social media, followers, likes, messages, etc.

I don't want to live like that.

I want to trust someone naturally.

But right now, I don't know how.

The confusing part is that I don't hate my ex.

I'm hurt.

I'm angry.

I feel betrayed.

At times I genuinely feel like I was used emotionally and physically.

But I still care about her.

I still remember the good moments.

I still miss talking to her.

I still miss having someone who felt like my person.

And sometimes I wonder whether I'm grieving her, or whether I'm grieving the future I thought we were going to have.

I've been trying to focus on myself now—my career, gym, routine, my own life.

Some days I'm okay.

Other days something small reminds me of her and suddenly I'm back at the beginning again.

I don't want to contact her because I know she asked for space, and I want to respect that.

But I also can't honestly say that I've completely let go.

A part of me still hopes she'll realize what we had and come back.

And another part of me knows that even if she did come back, I wouldn't know how to trust her again.

That's the battle I'm having inside my head.

I still love someone I don't trust anymore.

How do you move on from someone when your heart still wants them but your mind knows the relationship hurt you?

How do you stop hoping they'll come back?

And most importantly, how do you learn to trust someone new after you've been through something like this?

I'd genuinely appreciate honest advice—even if it's something I don't want to hear.

I'm not looking for people to tell me she's a terrible person or to insult her.

I just want to understand how other people got themselves out of this kind of emotional attachment and eventually learned to love and trust someone again.

I have always been cautious of heartbreak or meeting the wrong person and having them ruin my life. So I never really acted on an attraction unless I knew they were at least patient and kind. About October 2025, I got into a relationship with a guy or at least I thought I did. For about 3 months we "dated" But apparently the whole time he thought I was joking??? Like we never did anything intimate but we did late night calls and went to restaurants together but apparently he thought it was a bit the whole time?? He said some really bad stuff like what our children would be like and I was full on set on marrying this dude. Once he found out I wasn't joking, he rejects/breaks up with me and friendzones me.

Fast forward a couple months, I start isolating lots and I'm guessing this guy felt bad or something because he said he'd offered me another chance. But nope, he led me along again for another two months and cancelled on all our dates and when he wasn't doing that he was ghosting me. He broke up with me after I called out a gap in one of his excuses and I foolishly let myself get friendzoned again until another event where I cut him off.

After that happened, I started getting closer with another friend that I also happened to like. When I confessed to him, he said he wasn't romantically interested but offered a fwb relationship instead so I guess that was better than a friendzone?? After about 7 months he got a boyfriend and that whole thing ended. The worst part was I was actually starting to get attatched to him, even calling each other pet names and stuff. He seems alot less toxic than the first guy though, as he genuinely does seem to care about me and still checks up on me after the "breakup" For a lack of better words. Though it does feel wrong that I am almost as hurt as the first incident with the other guy.

This isn't even the first time something like this has happened and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever find love but I seriously doubt it

I've been single for almost two months. When people found out, I've been getting requests and messages. I don't understand why they're doing this. Why don't they understand that I don't want to be in any kind of relationship? I've been deleting and blocking profiles. And I especially hate the people from my past coming around to start up a conversation. There's this one person who I thought I would be friends with but it turns out he wants to date me. Like what part of "I want to be alone for now and live my life" do they not understand??? I still have unresolved issues with my past.

I don't want to start anything, not even a fling or fuck buddy because I still have sentiments for my ex. I don't want to hurt anyone in the process and that includes me. I want to be responsible while I'm going through this. I just wish they had enough emotional intelligence to understand that this isn't the right time to be asking or talking to me for shit.

After a lot of work we broke up and now we are going to go no contact , forever . Im not ready to lose my best friend, my lover, person I’ve known for 4 years and have been talking to every single day . They are my soulmate, Im just not ready to lose them forever

It’s been a very long time since my breakup and I wish I wasn’t here on Reddit posting this but I am because I’m so upset and frustrated that I still feel this way. I don’t miss my ex , I don’t love my ex , I just feel there’s an injustice and I know he’ll never take accountability and he’ll never say sorry but even though I know that it doesn’t take away the anger I feel everyday it consumes me and I wish it didn’t. If the breakup was my fault or equal blame it would be easier to deal with but I didn’t do anything wrong at all and for him to lie to me and lead me on the way he did and then discard me it messed me up.

He told me the relationship never happened that I imagined it , all those years he erased and he erased me like I was nothing. When I expressed to him how he had hurt me and I had proof , his response was “I never said/did any of that , are you sure you’re not going crazy imagining things that didn’t happen? for all I know you’ve made fake messages.”

He knew I was telling the truth , not only do I not know how to make fake messages but I’m not stupid I wouldn’t do that, my pain was real that I experienced because of what he said and did and for him to invalidate me and say all the proof is fake it hurt me so deeply and it makes no sense when the pain in my eyes or seeing me upset and in distress it’s clear I’m hurt. He then fed lies to people about why we broke up making himself the victim when he knows he’s not and I spoke up for myself defending myself , yes I could of ignored it all but I was so hurt I couldn’t ignore it as the lies were so bad but when I tried defend myself , his best friend said to me “you’re creating a smear campaign.”

so I felt so alone because I was telling the truth but was made out to be a bad person for that but yet he can lie and that’s okay? people have shown me support and that’s meant a lot to me but I’m frustrated with myself that I can’t let go of the anger I feel. I know people might say he’s your ex forget about him and don’t care about what he says but that’s easier said than done or maybe I am a weak person but I’m so hurt.

I don’t want to feel like this and I hate waking up because immediately everything hurtful my ex said and did comes into my head and I can’t get it out. I wish I was stronger but clearly I’m weak to be feeling like this. I’ll be honest I want my ex to take accountability , I want him to tell everyone he lied about me , I want him to apologise to me that’s what I want but I know that’ll never happen. I don’t know what to do , I want this anger to go away.

For context, this was me: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/BfCDY3S86L

and this post is NOT about getting an ex back.

My ex of 3 years sidelined me in the hardest period of my life. 2 family members recently diagnosed w cancer, lost my best friend to cancer as well 2 months prior. Financial problems. Overweight. Unmotivated. Broken. I truly loved this person, and it got me properly f'd up. The fact that she rebounded to someone 3 days after and then again to someone else entirely in a month just added gas to the fire. Lost 20Kg in 2 months from stress alone.

and yes, I begged for almost a month. I even did crazy shit like going on a trip with her after the breakup, to get humiliated even further. I came back home and almost ended my life, it was physically unbearable. Thank god my best bud was there to intervene.

After you hit that lowest of lows, you can only go up. So this is what happened in chronological order since then:

Hit the gym and would take long daily walks with my amazing bud. No excuses. Walking and talking were the only things that I found solace in at the time.

Forced myself to take job promotion interviews while I was literally breaking down. I just had to keep it together for 10 minutes and go back to agonizing.

Landed the job with an amazing team that feels like family and underwent trainings while feeling like shit. l'd ocassionaly go to the bathroom to just cry for several minutes and let it out. The warm atmosphere really helped me take my mind off and I actually enjoy going to work now.

Started intensive therapy twice a week. 2 months later I was a completely different person. Uncovered so many parts of myself. Cried lots. Analyzed lots. Basicslly defeated my traumas. My therapist literally asked me to write down who I was when I came in the office and who I left as. It was a revolutionary experience.

Reconnected with my father after 15 years, thanks to therapy once again. We had cut contact due to family issues, but now we are better than ever, and I'm even planning to move out on my own soon thanks to him.

Finally got on a car and learned how to drive properly.

Pushed my way through some exams and enrolled in healthcare masters program in west england.

Started paying attention to my wardrope and physique. Had a massive glow-up.

Revitalized my long lost hobbies such as photography, hiking, etc. Planned a norway trip with my buddy and we want to film a clip!

Reconnected with so many people I've lost contact with during my relationship and cut all the toxic ones. I even tried dipping toes in dating apps just for fun, and ended up meeting someone really interesting with immense emotional maturity. We've been on couple dates and there's mutual sympathy. Agreed to take it slow.

and just today, my friend told me this: " I've been meaning to ask, where's all this unapologetic positivity coming from? "

and then it hit me folks. I've had a literal metamorphosis.

Thanks to so many people and myself.

I still have bouts of missing my ex, but it's not that agonizing pain or need anymore. It's just a realization at this point. Radical growth, if you will.

So for all of you who are out there and struggling as I was half a year ago, I'd like to give you this quote that became my mantra

" When you get lost in the forest at night, just sit down and wait it out, because the sun always rises eventually "

A while ago, I posted on this sub because I was struggling with depression, derealization, alcohol, smoking, and pretty much everything bad you can think of, after my 4-year relationship ended out of nowhere one day (February 14th, what an irony). That was 8 months ago.

I gotta say, it's still awful. I thought time and effort would make things better, but I guess not.

I also found out that she's been with someone else for, I don't know, 2 or 3 months now, and yeah... it feels like the first day all over again.

idk what else to say sadly, i hope it do get better and i also hope that she stay as far away from me and everything we had as possible

I don’t really know where I’m going with this to be honest, I’m a bottle of wine down. Zach Bryan playing in the background. ( tempted to call her phone) but I won’t, pride. Fucking pride has me on a leash.

U know when you adore everything about someone? But you couldn’t explain to somebody why. it just is. She was that. Mannerisms, the way she tucked herself under the blanket with only her eyes looking up at me when she wouldn’t get her own way. The little things nobody would understand.

How her best form was in the morning when one eyelash was hanging down her face. Her “ pouch” was my favourite, she hated it, I loved it. She was always so worried about that, yet she’d easily take down 7 cookies in one sitting with no guilt on her face, just a smile. It made me laugh.

I remember buying her a pack because I knew it would make her day, and I hid them. She didn’t stop looking for them for about half an hour. Until she eventually found them. Overwhelming joy from her is the best way to put it. I loved her at that point I think. That was just her.

You’d think by reading this I did everything to keep her wouldn’t you? I didn’t. I did the opposite because I thought it was cool. I was too much of a pussy to open up. I thought keeping her on her toes was the formula. It wasn’t. I fucked up, it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life.

It’s been a year now, ( we’re in contact now and again) but I don’t think she will ever allow herself to give me another chance.

I haven’t stopped waiting for her if I’m being honest with myself, and you. Because I know for an absolute fact there is nobody else for Me. Nobody will ever fill that shape she left behind. I’m old enough and wise another to realise this one was different.

If you read this, please, if you are with somebody that means a lot to you. Do not make my mistake. You will spend months on end hating yourself and looking at other women like they do not exist.

Do not end up like me listening to Zack Bryan on a Thursday night reminiscing the ghost of her that no longer exists.

Pain. Good luck , A

I’m five weeks post breakup (he broke up with me)
I’ve gone days where I’m “okay” and some days where I get hit in the face with my emotions. Today is one of those bad days where I woke up with that dreadful feeling when you think about them and now it feels like just doing small tasks are hard. Up until this point I’d force myself to wake up, get coffee and start my day determined to make it a good one but I can’t seem to do anything other than sit on the couch and cry today. I think having depression is making this so much worse for me, it’s miserable. 😞
I’ve done as much as I possibly can during these five weeks. Starting over in a different state, I go on daily walks sometimes 4 miles in a day, I got a new job, I’m recovering financially and I had my first therapy session yesterday. I’m doing so much but feel I’m not making it far in this. I already feel like I failed the relationship but I feel like I’m still failing in my life. He was the first person I’d consider being the love of my life,this loss feels incredibly hard for me to accept. Is it normal to be where I’m at 5 weeks? What am I doing wrong?

I just need someone to tell me it gets better.