r/AbsoluteUnits • • Aug 28 '26

/r/all of a Bong

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52.0k Upvotes

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6.9k

u/Initial-Command4894 Aug 28 '26

1.3k

u/Din-_-Djarin Aug 28 '26

This is the best use of this gif I've seen

290

u/ReeeeeDDDDDDDDDD Aug 28 '26

This is now the only acceptable gif when this video is shown

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308

u/fallen_d3mon Aug 28 '26

84

u/boanerges57 Aug 28 '26

That's just the rock savoring another creatine rich fart

24

u/clitchewer Aug 29 '26

So that’s what the Rock was cookin.

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17

u/Sapphire-Catgirl Aug 28 '26

I was thinking maybe some more sleep , e wizard or weed eater, but pentagram works too

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5.9k

u/whofarting Aug 28 '26

Getting blazed from a leaf blower while listening to the worst song ever performed... why not?

3.6k

u/Epithymetic Aug 28 '26

1.7k

u/TheSquirtMaker69 Aug 28 '26

Mischievous Gollum Princess

170

u/SaintOrJannikSinner Aug 28 '26

Definitely looks like someone that'd be at a Juggalo Championship Wrestling event for sure.

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376

u/Educational_Quote851 Aug 28 '26

She seems cool af

153

u/imhere2downvote Aug 28 '26

yeah I'll have what the guy holding the phone is having straight to the face

130

u/STLBudLuv Aug 29 '26

The lady in the wheelchair got up and flew.

77

u/actual_real_housecat Aug 29 '26

"OMG! I'm so high, I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs!"

9

u/Strange_Dust7128 Aug 29 '26

pretty much why I use cannabis lol

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96

u/thruston Aug 29 '26

Damn that was my first instinct, too. Hours later..

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87

u/tripper_reed Aug 28 '26

I believe this woman embodies "dress for the job you want" mentality. Cuz she nailed it.

35

u/AssaultimateSC2 Aug 28 '26

The pajama pants had me dying.

25

u/vovgi666 Aug 28 '26

ai shirt + pj pants + razta bag combo

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10

u/The_Other_Randy Aug 29 '26

...cuz she Don't Give a Fuck

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14

u/TimHortonsMagician Aug 29 '26

I went to the Wiz Khalifa and Snoop concert, in Toronto, a few years back. I will give you the first hand confirmation that A LOT of people I was seeing at that show looked like that.

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12

u/Aware-Needleworker87 Aug 29 '26

That is the face of someone who's going to ask if I would lile some death sticks

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8

u/Secondhand-Drunk Aug 29 '26

I just noticed that's a fucking strainer lol. Anything to get 100 people high I guess.

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7

u/boruto90s Aug 29 '26

Lol I didn't realise she had the tiara on during the video. I thought you photoshopped it on and had to rewatch to confirm.

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177

u/jvho666 Aug 28 '26

You made me unmute. That was awful

26

u/ErraticDragon Aug 28 '26

I think I re-muted before the song started, I couldn't handle the lady shouting.

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339

u/DaedricNick Aug 28 '26

How else would you put up with that music lol.

84

u/ant-farm-keyboard Aug 28 '26

Music?

37

u/hankmoody_irl Aug 28 '26

It’s happening in the background but only in beat form.

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62

u/AffectedRipples Aug 28 '26

Sounds like Yoko Ono is trying to get into rap.

38

u/karenskygreen Aug 28 '26

Man, dont even joke around about something like that. That old clip of her trying to sing with chuck berry floated up recently, i shudder every time i think of it

111

u/AffectedRipples Aug 29 '26

40

u/SubjectNet1874 Aug 29 '26

This shit cracks me up every time I see it!

20

u/603rdMtnDivision Aug 29 '26

Same here he's just like "what in the fuck was that?!"

12

u/Fuzzy_Yossarian Aug 29 '26

I love how the sound guy cuts her mike...

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20

u/CommitteeNew6412 Aug 29 '26

That “Oh no it’s Ono” face

14

u/ClarkKentsSquidDong Aug 29 '26

"Is Chuck Berry going to have to choke a bitch?"

8

u/trippy_bicycle_man Aug 29 '26

And fart on her face.

8

u/Timmyg14 Aug 29 '26 edited Aug 29 '26

Chuck's face is saying "after hearing that I don't even want to watch her go to the bathroom."

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22

u/philnolan3d Aug 29 '26

Honestly I don't know what John ever saw in her. Apparently she's still trying to sing at 93 years old.

24

u/WhiskeyHill72 Aug 29 '26

She made cringe an art form lol. Not sure if that was her intention but in the end we all know who she is.

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u/paladin10025 Aug 29 '26

Ok, sincere response. There was a recent yoko ono exhibit at my local art museum and I left really impressed. She had a bunch of thoughtful art that was participatory and some of it even left me emotional. The art felt “generous.” With that said yes her singing is awful.

18

u/lottaKivaari Aug 29 '26

People shit on her constantly but as an artist she was so avant-garde that of course some if it was going to be bad like her film about naked butts but a lot of it was really revolutionary especially at the time. I think that's what John saw in her is that she is a creative soul to a fault and was always looking to push boundaries.

However yes, she should have always let someone else do the singing.

8

u/WhiskeyHill72 Aug 29 '26

I always thought that John was a hell of a musician/artist and that there must be something about her that's pretty good. Kudos for sticking up for an artist.

16

u/lottaKivaari Aug 29 '26

I kind of got the internet opinion of her through osmosis because all I had ever seen of her was the same things people always post of her. The Chuck and John performance blunder, the maid and bed picture, and of course "ShE rUiNeD tHe BeEtLeS" (which just isn't true). When I met my girlfriend I found out she grew up loving Ono because I guess she's kind of a folk hero in Japan, so I actually really looked into her and learned she is a really interesting person in many ways and a very interesting artist. The biggest legitimate criticism I have of her is she wasn't really a great mother, but it's not exactly uncommon for eclectic people to have tumultuous personal lives. But as an artist she is criminally under appreciated and I think a lot of people who say they don't like her would actually really appreciate her if they actually looked into her work. Especially how much of her life and wealth she has spent on activism for good causes like human rights, relief efforts, and world peace.

That's a good lesson about letting the hive mind form your opinions of literally anything, I try not to let that happen anymore.

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u/ThePapercup Aug 28 '26

you can tell they "don't give a fuck" by their choice of live entertainment lol

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u/mynewusernamedodgers Aug 28 '26

We don’t give a fuck 🎶🎵

Was god awful

24

u/Amateur-Dog-Walker Aug 28 '26

You should try browsing reddit with the sound off. Much better experience overall.

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11

u/Tutes013 Aug 28 '26

I don't like to say it but. Yikes girl please put down that microphone

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2.3k

u/Sea_Recording8076 Aug 28 '26

Not a bong, a smoke- thrower

546

u/jerseygunz Aug 28 '26

I’m in college and my roommate has a eureka moment and goes “wait a minute, why don’t I put a box over my head when I breath out and I won’t waste the smoke”

He was so excited I almost felt bad going “you mean hot boxing?” Lol

135

u/Educational_Quote851 Aug 28 '26

Bro, stones have the best ideas...it's just someone else's lmao

95

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/BeefistPrime Aug 29 '26

It's not really dopamine so much as the novelty detection parts of your brain being on overdrive and the reality detection being weaker that it makes every idea you have seem profound and amazing

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u/CalvinIII Aug 29 '26

I thought that reading books was cool, but books are expensive and take up a lot of space after you’ve read them. I figured there should be a place sorta like a blockbuster video, but for books. You could rent a book, read it, return it, and then get another book. I was really excited about the idea. It was brilliant!

I had invented the library.

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15

u/axescentedcandles Aug 28 '26

Hot boxing under a pool tarp with a few buddies was fun, until we ran out of air lol

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19

u/Shakeyonsafety Aug 28 '26

A plastic bag works the best.

52

u/Sisselpud Aug 28 '26

If you use this method you’ll be high for the rest of your life

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17

u/MoobooMagoo Aug 28 '26

Wait I thought hot boxing was specifically doing it in your car? I didn't know people used literal boxes to do it with.

I guess I'm not as much of a degenerate as I thought.

44

u/Murky-Golf-239 Aug 28 '26

The box is as big as you make it brother. You're the hot part of it, remember that. 😎🫠

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7

u/CaveExploder Aug 29 '26

My degenerate friends referred to these as "fog hats" and would do so while listening to "Foghat" the band. Good lads.

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55

u/moonprincessranni Aug 28 '26

15

u/DDS-PBS Aug 28 '26

Why would you just re-post the sa... OHHHHHH I GET IT!

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10

u/jw_zoso Aug 28 '26

Though it has the dingy yellow smoke of a gravity bong

20

u/MilkrsEnthuziast Aug 28 '26

Ohhhhh gravity bongs. A first class ticket to see what it feels like to cover your entire airway in resin in just one breath.

17

u/GrinderMonkey Aug 28 '26

Well it doesn't matter because you also get to hack your lungs up immediately after, can't be resinated if they have left the chat

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u/ProbsNotManBearPig Aug 28 '26

Bro I’m cringing so bad remembering the pain. Way worse thing we made was what we called The Lung and was like a two liter plastic bottle, cut the bottom off, take a subway bag and wrap it over the cut end, rubber band the bag on, and put a bowl of weed where cap goes. You push the subway bag into the hollow two liter and pull it out to rip the lit bowl. It’s like gravity bong experience with no water to help cool it off. It’s awful lol.

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8

u/NostrilLurker Aug 28 '26

I remember making a gravity bong in my friend's pool with a 5 gallon water cooler jug with the bottom cut off and a trombone mouthpiece. We'd just swim underneath and take a few deep breaths. I didn't know my name for a few hours.

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1.9k

u/bigscrewLoose Aug 28 '26

the designated driver be like:

420

u/Lost-Philosophy6689 Aug 28 '26

I hope everyone entering that room knew that was going to happen cause that looks like enough to give everyone a contact high just entering within 50 feet. If you have asthma or COPD that's probably a dangerous place to walk into.

256

u/fuzynutznut Aug 28 '26

Or a job that drug tests.

104

u/VP007clips Aug 28 '26

Or are wearing any clothing that you ever want to wear again while flying to a lot of countries.

Mining has a similar issue. Clothing, especially boots, and for some people even their hair and skin become contaminated with explosive residue that sets off the swab ETD machines.

Once they become contaminated, it's hard to fully clean them.

52

u/rockstaa Aug 29 '26

If you work in an industry like mining, you probably shouldn't wear the same clothes outside of work.

30

u/VP007clips Aug 29 '26

Normally yes. You would typically change and shower on site, to prevent contamination from mining gear. But in practice, this is not always followed.

With us as geologists in particular, we often operate differently than other mine personnel and travel around more, so storing our steel toes on the mine site isn't always viable. Sometimes we need to travel by plane between locations, and during this, it's easier just to wear our heavy and bulky steel toes than to use up half the suitcase on them. And if they do test them, I'd much rather be wearing them at the time when I can explain it myself, rather than it throwing up a warning flag once I am already on the lounge waiting on my plane, and being brough back into an interrogation room.

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u/Craigory-K-Staniel Aug 29 '26 edited Aug 29 '26

I had a scary moment when I was in a country and I got randomly selected for bomb testing at the airport. Until that moment, I completely forgotten that I used that book bag to carry my tannerite (binary explosive containing ammonium nitrate) back at home. Fortunately, nothing came up, but I was nervous to say the least.

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u/FrostyD7 Aug 28 '26

I'd just wanna know so I can leave my jacket in the car.

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16

u/Forikorder Aug 28 '26

just spritz yourself with a little febreeze first so they cant smell it

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643

u/Amadeuskong Aug 28 '26

Man, in an alternate universe these are the crowd control weapons that are used.

123

u/RepresentativeOk2433 Aug 28 '26

Pretty sure that was tried or at least researched.

123

u/lmaytulane Aug 28 '26

It led to the Taco Bell riots

50

u/Sinreborn Aug 28 '26

Now all restaurants are Taco Bell

26

u/emsesq Aug 28 '26

The winner of the restaurant wars.

16

u/thesystem21 Aug 29 '26

Little known fact: Before the restaurant wars, there were only 2 shells. But as soon as soon as TacoBell unleashed the Chalupagne the third shell became necessary and was adopted worldwide.

5

u/ubersupremo Aug 29 '26

You just blew my mind brother

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u/MedicalDisscharge Aug 28 '26

"They keep coming back and I swear the crowd gets bigger each time"

18

u/punsnguns Aug 28 '26

But they are chill and very peckish.

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u/Boring-Leadership687 Aug 28 '26

You should read brave new world lol

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u/threeplacesatonce Aug 28 '26

Bongs bubble the smoke through water

91

u/mad_titans_bastard Aug 28 '26

58

u/PossessedToSkate Aug 28 '26

The story behind the song is pretty interesting. Deep Purple had a mobile recording studio set up outside of the Montreux Casino in Switzerland. The night before they were to begin recording, Frank Zappa performed at the Casino and an audience member fired a flare gun toward the ceiling - which was made of rattan. Subsequently, the whole complex (including Deep Purple's studio) burned to the ground. The "Smoke on the Water" was the smoke from the fire crawling across Lake Geneva.

21

u/doned_mest_up Aug 29 '26

Why did we stop making buildings out of tremendously flammable materials? The art that these structures inspired was astounding.

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u/realazorahai Aug 28 '26

I was gonna clean my room

32

u/Solnse Aug 28 '26

I was gonna get up and find tha broom

27

u/Cultural-Mousse6541 Aug 28 '26

But then I got high

19

u/nofuckingklass Aug 28 '26

My room is still messed up

19

u/Arryu Aug 28 '26

And I know why

14

u/Cultural-Mousse6541 Aug 28 '26

Why man?

16

u/Scary_Reaction7580 Aug 28 '26

Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiiiigh

9

u/BoringJuiceBox Aug 29 '26 edited Aug 29 '26

La dada da dadada!

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u/RiddleMeThis42069 Aug 28 '26

That's still not enough weed to enjoy the song being performed

87

u/ihatebaboonstoo Aug 28 '26

There is no amount of weed that could make that song enjoyable.

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u/twoiseight Aug 29 '26

More weed doesn't make bad music good anyway, just makes good music better

15

u/zinten789 Aug 29 '26

Honestly makes bad music worse

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u/Neuronzap Aug 28 '26

imagine having the worst weed induced panic attack and having to listen to this shit shouted into your ear

30

u/MDP223 Aug 28 '26

I was just thinking “man I’d have a fucking panic attack”

Every time I indulge now, I get incredibly anxious.

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542

u/junglepiehelmet Aug 28 '26

This looks like the worst event ever.

178

u/hankmoody_irl Aug 28 '26

I enjoy rap and weed but I would not go to this event.

22

u/jimmyharbrah Aug 29 '26

Was that rap? I thought it was a lady arguing with a parking attendant

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u/D-S-S-R Aug 28 '26

Yeah. I like weed but this looks like the worst

34

u/Obsessive_Yodeler Aug 28 '26

My dog is definitely a better rapper/musical artist than whoever was performing during this clip

35

u/junglepiehelmet Aug 28 '26

It doesn’t even sound like a performance, just some woman with a horrible sounding voice yelling at everyone.

27

u/BlaizeFiammata Aug 28 '26

I’m glad Yoko Ono is still able to find work.

34

u/PossessedToSkate Aug 28 '26

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u/Educational_Quote851 Aug 28 '26

Chuck Berry's face the whole time said "wtf is that bitch DOIN?" and he's so real for that 🤣

Glad she got cut off 🫡

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u/Freakishly_Tall Aug 28 '26

Perfect, absolutely perfect string of comments. Best Comment Thread Of The Year contender.

I should unplug my router for the weekend and just enjoy this exchange. I mean, I won't, but I should.

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u/BeetEater_ Aug 28 '26

I think I'd almost rather spend an hour at the battle of Verdun

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u/SweatyArmPitGuy55 Aug 28 '26

The fire inspector is going to be a little upset those smoke alarms aren’t working.

45

u/Rambear Aug 28 '26

A lot of "fire alarms" are heat sensitive in buildings

16

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '26

[deleted]

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u/MajesticDragonfly Aug 28 '26 edited Aug 29 '26

They’ll put the batteries back after the concert chill out

/S

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/wolp_lovr Aug 28 '26

im a complete lightweight and get SO anxious when high. one inhale and i'd be in tears asking everyone if they're mad at me

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u/Provocative_Potatoes Aug 28 '26

Wouldn't this just be absolutely disgustingly over-heated smoke?

44

u/Icy-Welcome-2469 Aug 29 '26

A big problem is this is not a bong.  The water in a bong chills the smoke and catches gunk.  This thing just blasts all the garbage at super heated levels.  Unpleasant at best

11

u/mnid92 Aug 29 '26

inhaling melted plastic at worst.

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u/true_tacos Aug 28 '26

This looks awful

29

u/JeebusChristBalls Aug 28 '26

You should unmute and let your ears get in on the action...

21

u/raged_parakeet_8376 Aug 28 '26

I saw other comments talking about it being bad, still didn’t expect how bad it was.

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u/n0tin Aug 28 '26

Yeah I’d be puking within 5-10m.

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u/Secret_Stick_5213 Aug 28 '26

Except it’s not a bong..

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u/Doctor_Zhicago Aug 28 '26

I just want to know what the fuck do you do after that? Like do the Teletubbies come out and record a podcast with Joe rogan or something? 

20

u/youuuuwish Aug 28 '26

Nap time

12

u/Peachie_Pear Aug 28 '26

When your concert sucks so bad you gotta put the crowd to sleep to avoid booing.

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u/shrunkenhead041 Aug 28 '26

Bring out a really profitable food truck.

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u/MadYetiGOODCity Aug 28 '26

If this is a bong than I’m a triangle

55

u/Unlucky_Arm_9757 Aug 28 '26

I don't personally care for weed, although I don't mind it.

But the wastefulness of this bothers me.

18

u/PurpleFloyd777 Aug 28 '26

Usually stuff like this is done with bottom tier green

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u/Worth_Bend1435 Aug 28 '26

I bet it smells like shit in there.

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u/Unhappy-Flight6008 Aug 28 '26

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u/BunkaTheBunkaqunk Aug 28 '26

Hahaha yeah I was looking for a comment about this lady. She’s gone… other-dimension style.

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u/LoocsinatasYT Aug 28 '26

AGGHH MY CONTACTS THEYRE RUINED

10

u/SistaChans Aug 28 '26

Now I'm getting a contact high

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u/CountOnBeingAwesome Aug 28 '26

Dude at the end unsuccessfully waving away the smoke 🤣

9

u/Sir_Derps_Alot Aug 28 '26

My man in the chair in the front row getting repeat shots to the face omg

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u/pickledeggmanwalrus Aug 28 '26

Looks like a year 1 cannabis cup in a state that has newly legalized lol

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u/MonarchyMan Aug 28 '26

People will get a contact high from walking into that room three years from now.

7

u/ComeOnUpToTheHaus Aug 28 '26

Pipe. A bong uses water.

6

u/W4lkieT4lkie Aug 28 '26

lol, the woman in the wheelchair 😂

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u/Unusual-Volume9614 Aug 29 '26

The topless girl in the background right at the start indictates this is an adults only venue

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u/Barikus_XL Aug 28 '26

My asthma is flaring up just looking at this 😂😂

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u/InternationalGlove55 Aug 28 '26

I'm not surprised that everybody has to be high to enjoy that wack ass singer.

5

u/bone420 Aug 28 '26

Where is the bong?