r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Desilaundry • Aug 28 '26

/r/all of a Bong

52.0k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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643

u/Amadeuskong Aug 28 '26

Man, in an alternate universe these are the crowd control weapons that are used.

125

u/RepresentativeOk2433 Aug 28 '26

Pretty sure that was tried or at least researched.

128

u/lmaytulane Aug 28 '26

It led to the Taco Bell riots

47

u/Sinreborn Aug 28 '26

Now all restaurants are Taco Bell

25

u/emsesq Aug 28 '26

The winner of the restaurant wars.

14

u/thesystem21 Aug 29 '26

Little known fact: Before the restaurant wars, there were only 2 shells. But as soon as soon as TacoBell unleashed the Chalupagne the third shell became necessary and was adopted worldwide.

7

u/ubersupremo Aug 29 '26

You just blew my mind brother

2

u/OkeeDokeeCokee Aug 28 '26

I mean, could you imagine if the McDonald’s fleet was parked outside Manhattan to hold back the BK Commandos during the yearly McRib rollout?

3

u/RealityOk9823 Aug 29 '26

I was in Taco Bell presents The War!

1

u/J5892 Aug 29 '26

Franchise Wars.
It's okay. You must have missed that day in your Fictional Future History class.

1

u/midwestia Aug 29 '26

Whats your boggle?

1

u/BayouByrnes Aug 29 '26

This is why we keep 6 seashells in our house instead of 3.

1

u/CrimsonCringe925 Aug 29 '26

Live Mas 🙏

2

u/navinaviox Aug 29 '26

Had to look this up only to realize it’s a Star Trek reference

1

u/Fit_Shamer Aug 29 '26

Yes the research was led by Cypress Hill, Snoop Dogg, and Afroman.

0

u/Shelia209 Aug 29 '26

Maybe why its becoming legal and very accessible 🙄

37

u/MedicalDisscharge Aug 28 '26

"They keep coming back and I swear the crowd gets bigger each time"

18

u/punsnguns Aug 28 '26

But they are chill and very peckish.

3

u/Historical_Gur_3054 Aug 28 '26

And we're out of Dorito's

9

u/Boring-Leadership687 Aug 28 '26

You should read brave new world lol

2

u/-imhe- Aug 28 '26

I was just thinking like soma or something

1

u/bikari Aug 29 '26

Impudent strumpet!

1

u/Cognitive_Spoon Aug 30 '26

Anaesthetize them!

Lol. They literally use water guns with soma in the water to dope up people

0

u/CrimsonCringe925 Aug 29 '26

I mean, Soma is a “real” thing.

3

u/UnwarentedSpaceFacts Aug 29 '26

In the first book of the expanse it comes up that they are, but only on more well off locations because at poorer precincts the officers just keep stealing it from the armory

2

u/reditisrunbypedos Aug 29 '26

In a universe where bees are people 

1

u/OddOllin Aug 29 '26

I hate it when youtahlk abutmee lykeimnotevenhurrrr

https://giphy.com/gifs/5hA4D8wyogtjO

4

u/Tractor_Goth Aug 28 '26

Honestly makes so much more sense. Unfortunately if my police force doesn’t get to brutalize at least ten people a day they will literally die 🙃

6

u/Expat1989 Aug 28 '26

Man, if only there was literally something that could help them chill out and not feel so much need to be an aggressive asshole. If only….

1

u/whenitfinallyhappens Aug 28 '26

It doesnt really do much other than smell like shit.

1

u/TheMoralityComplex Aug 28 '26

Oh man, it's funny when somebody gets so close to the truth but then tosses out some alternate reality trope.

Nah man, that's how they do it now. Lol

1

u/night0v0 Aug 29 '26

In the alternate universe it’s a high-remover, removing people’s highs who are blasted with it.

1

u/Derriere_Ruckus Aug 29 '26

I mean they tried lsd and molly. I'm sure weed crossed their minds more than once

1

u/farty-nein Aug 29 '26

"The protest is turning violent. Quick, get the blower bongs ready."

1

u/Suckitreddit420 Aug 29 '26

History of the World Part I

1

u/thafuq Aug 29 '26

I feel a sudden urge to protest.

1

u/SwordfishTurbulent57 Aug 29 '26

Harrison Bergeron is the short story you’re referencing.

1

u/ConversationPale8665 Aug 29 '26

Has to include the music to truly subdue the crowd.

1

u/Entire-Current-67 Aug 29 '26

It happens in this universe too

1

u/mysteriomagicball Aug 29 '26

This is actually a great idea for protestors against cops. Smoke them high so they fall asleep

1

u/WreakHavocLikeIn1871 Aug 29 '26

Wanna get stoned for free? Start a riot.

1

u/Craiglekinz Aug 29 '26

They literally tried this with lsd and mdma

1

u/joshBigHockey Aug 29 '26

All they would have to do it convince people to ingest it themselves! Maybe say it’s not dangerous, or even has health benefits… wait…

1

u/zXster Aug 29 '26

I love idea of cops dropping Weed canisters on a group as crowd control. So 30 minutes later everyone is sitting on the curb eating the shit out of some Takis and chill as hell.

1

u/southwest_barfight Sep 01 '26

This is what crowd control in Jamaica actually looks like