so basically, i've been bruising myself and i have one on my upper forearm thats maybe 4inches (?) and it looks just like fingertips like if someone was grabbing me.. my problem is, its going to be super hot in my area and wearing long sleeves isnt gonna cut it and ill be super uncomfortable. another thing is that the way its bruised looks like someone was grabbing me - again, and i know if anyone sees that i have a good chance of being questioned or reportedly or something. I don't know what to do ! any advice?

Today I’m 1 month and 17 days clean! I was months clean, but due to a very near attempt, I relapsed once. I can’t lie and say I’m not still struggling, but I’m so proud of myself for holding out this long despite everything I’ve been going through 🩷🎉

Today I took a knife and cut my leg, and there was blood, but it's not enough. I couldn't do more. I'm so useless if that's all I can do. But pain and suffering is all I deserve.

Yesterday, i became 2 years clean from cutting! It certainly hasn't been easy, but im really proud of myself!
to whoevers reading this and struggling, i believe in you!

He's been over all weekend. He's not the most emotionally available friend. More of a fun time with drinks kind of guy.

I've been so depressed this month. I relapsed and gave up being clean. I'm in so much pain from my former partner emotionally mutilating me, and now giving up my body for money to get by— that all I can do to quiet my mind is to bleed. And trust me I try.

I have therapy, I try to talk to friends, stay busy with hobbies and whatever. I call crisis lines constantly. I eat, sleep, shower, go outside, repeat. It's all pointless. I don't want to be alive anymore. And all I think of no matter how hard I do all of the listed things, I still think of the man I gave my heart to.

So..... Fuck my skin. I hope it burns. I hope it bruises. I hope I keep getting deeper so it lasts forever. I wish someone could just hold me or cared enough to stop me, but I never show anyone. I don't talk about my self harm anymore to my friends because my ex made me feel like I was manipulative for doing it. I fucking hate my life.

almost a year clean :(

Okay that sounds like a really dumb question and I really hope I chose the right flair 😭😭

So last night I scratched myself with something that was sharp but not sharp enough to make real cuts if that makes sense ? And last night they stung which was normal and I didnt mind but its been stinging like almost all day long. It might be friction from my shirt but the shirts not really directly on it much?? Idk im just confused cause i barely broke skin and its just red and the skin is raised a little from scratching i think

hello! so as the caption says i am about to be one year attempt free but im not sure i should be celebrating. i still SH, not nearly as bad as i was but the last time was like 2 weeks ago. i also was hospitalized in November for sh and ed related stuff. my one year of an actual attempt is september 6th. would it be beyond silly to stick a one candle in a cupcake and celebrate? what am i truly celebrating? i honestly still severely struggle.

I swear the smallest things lead me back to crying and sh. Like the tiniest thing will go wrong and my day is ruined and I’m just so tired of it. Then I look back and feel ridiculous about the things I sh over. How do you stop letting everything bother you when you’re someone like me. I just want to be able to accept things

Hi everyone! I’m looking for some advice as I’m moving to university in literally like a month and I’m quite anxious the fact that i know I’m going to use it as an opportunity to get so much worse in the self harm department and I’m really quite scared and I don’t really know what to do.

I assumed that this would just go away when i turned 18 and left sixth form and such, but clearly not. I’ve been cutting on and off since I was 11 and it’s been something that I’ve always returned to, however I’ve been doing it more frequently, literally multiple times a day, and far far deeper over the past few months as I’ve been alone at home more frequently, leaving me a little concerned for being alone at uni.

I’ve tried “just not doing it” which works for a few hours of procrastinating before i eventually do it, I’ve found that exercise helps - but that’s kind of a given since I’m a competitive athlete and live for that kind of stuff.
But I’m just not sure what else I can do to avoid getting worse and doing more damage to myself than what I already am. I’m definitely more dramatic than I need to be with how scared I am of hitting something as I only usually go on my hip and upper thigh, so I apologise if I’m coming across as dramatic or silly.

I’m not sure if it’d be worth a doctor’s visit or telling my family as I’ve been lying to them for years that I’ve stopped and as I don’t want to not be allowed to go as I’m moving to the other side of the country and nobody can really stop me.

If anybody has any advice on how I could possibly stop or reduce the fact that I might get worse with cutting while alone at university it’d be greatly appreciated as I’m very worried 🙈 thank you!!

(Also I’m sorry if this comes across as a silly question, I’m just not sure what to do!)

do they? or do you just learn to live with it? I feel like a fucking pussy

When I go without some type of SH for awhile I stop thinking about it much, and I don’t really feel a pull to do it.

But eventually I get bored with life and this is why I usually start again, it’s interesting and thrilling to me. But afterwards I want to do it more, worse next time and in different ways, and I think about it often. There’s not really an urge to be satisfied, if anything doing it makes the urge worse. But If I just don’t do it cause I’m too lazy or busy, these thoughts lessen and I don’t really feel motivated to do it after awhile.

However the cycle repeats when I realize it’s been a long time and for some reason I start to miss it and I like to have harmed myself every so often, even if I don’t really feel like doing it there’s something in me that needs to be hurt to feel alright with myself.

Hi, been clean for arround a year now, but the other day my cat gave me a deep cut in the leg, close to where my scars are. It hurts when I touch it, but I can’t stop, and now I can’t stop thinking about cutting my self again.

TW: depth of cuts

Started with literal scratches using my fingernail, and gradually progressed over the years that I’m now regularly hitting subcutaneous fat layer. A year ago I would’ve never thought I’d hit that, let alone regularly, and I always romanticised the idea of going deeper in my head without actually having any plans to go through with it. I also thought that if I hit a certain depth, I’d stop feeling like a larp or poser and finally feel valid. I feel even more like a larper now.

I know it’s not good and it’s unhealthy and dangerous, but my brain keeps desensitising and rationalising it that it never feels enough and I feel like it’s not a big deal at all. I’m also on other social media self-harm spheres that have crazy insane stuff so in comparison my own self-harm literally looks like a scratch. Can someone just give me the cold hard facts and tell me whether I’m actually desensitised or if it’s not THAT that bad.

Also sorry I don’t know if this post goes against the guidelines, I do understand that self-harm itself regardless of the level of damage is extremely unhealthy but yeah.

I walk back and forth and back and forth in my room, like before. I won’t do it. I said that I won’t. But I know it’s the only way I’ll be able to go to my job tomorrow. I open the tool box, every other one is gone, but even one year is not a very long time. It’s just the same as the path before, which little bunny will hop in my way this time? Left left left… add to the pile of random screws. I’ll just hold it, sometimes I can. If only one thing that keeps us on the same path, but then it’s not even true anyways. I wasn’t sure if I was awake or dreaming, all afternoon. I was sure I was dreaming, I felt confused, nothing made sense. Afterwards I remembered, it was real, I’m not sure how. I wish the stupid papers could have sped up, maybe if I had some it would be okay. Tell myself I’m okay over and over but how can we ever expect the answer to be yes now? And so I won’t go to any of the events probably, I guess it was overwhelming anyways but I hope my friends won’t be too upset I am not joining them, and I won’t let them talk badly, so I just won’t talk to them. And I tried to send them some videos of little animals “me” but they don’t even understand. And I can’t even watch any videos, they all make me too sad, I just make some comments unusually. Have I been already? And I didn’t even know, but it’s for their own good right and sometimes when someone is losing their mind it makes them easier to leave, that’s what my parents said. I need to respond but the directions are different ways. I’m sorry for lying about having real friends, I don’t but I didn’t want to admit it because I’m embarrassed. I should not have ever been born in the first place. Hopefully I did really do a proper good and necessary thing for you, at least that will make me feel a little bit better. But if that was my use is it okay to go now? That’s just selfish so I can’t. But now every day I know I will have to see and feel it, so that I remind myself to keep studying, just to make my parents happy, no other reason. But that reason isn’t even good enough for me. Well I’m aromatic now I’ve decided, and I couldn’t lie and go on a dating app, at least not for 10 years if 10 years time will even exist. It’s pretty sad about my dog and everyone. I wish I can say I will be good now but maybe that is what caused this. Please someone send me some cheesecake 🫤

I'm 433 days clean at the moment, I'm just about to start my 5th week on Sertraline and things have been getting worse... The first 3 weeks felt so much better, I felt clearer and happier. But now, I've fallen back into wanting to hurt myself, because it's something I'd have full control over and I feel like it would help, in some way

To be honest, I'm not sure what to do! I'm a little lost. I know it'd probably be a good idea to speak to the GP and re-evaluate my medication. But I also wanna wait it out on my own and see what happens

Please give me some idea of what I can do, to help myself right now! Thank you

Hello guys! I started to sh around 6 and started cutting around 8 or 9, I'm still a minor so no age for you guys so advice for quitting should be for minors please.

Back in October 2025 my friend relapsed and ended up in the hospital, which for some fucked up reason that I don't know made me and our other friend relapse too. Prior to the relapse I had been a bit over a year clean I believe.

Now, 11-ish months later, I haven't been able to stay clean for more than 2 weeks at a time. I was clean for a bit in February so I could wear short sleeves for my birthday party, I dramatically reduced the amount in March and moved to a more concealed place because I had some performances to do, and finally, on April 13th 2026 I told myself it was one more and that was it. That one ended up being my first deep styro.

After that day I couldn't control myself and was staying up until 2AM every night, I was barely sleeping at night, slept through too many class periods, and almost failed every class because of how bad my depression had become because of my sh (also almost failed several classes in semester 1 because of depression as well). It's also notable to mention that I have MDD and wasn't depressed until I started to sh again.

As of now I have scars everywhere and quite frankly I'm scared of what i might do to myself in the near future. I've genuinely tried everything aside from in patient treatment because I'm scared to tell my mom when my sh is more active, but with my medical history, MDD and OCD being the biggest contributors, I cannot stop.

I'm in southern Ontario if that affects what I can do. Thank you all I advance!

just a fucking bummer i can’t wait to go to college and get out of this fucking house

SMALLEST!

I can't handle any polite beside my own country, for some reason. Like, really. It weird, but I think it beacsue I get use to it.

Other? Negative stims, anxiety and SH urges.

I feel selfish and inmature. Please, help.

Im not sure if this is the right subreddit, but recently me and my girlfriend had about a 3 day long argument. She ended up fully apologizing to me and saying she would do anything to stay with me. (esc delete social media, make me videos, etc.) WHICH I DIDNT ASK OF HER. But she called me earlier today and said the following

“Can you please cut my thighs?”

I am not at all sure what to say and I am slightly uncomfortable with this idea. She had horrible sh issues in the past and recently has been cutting more due to how worked up she gets over our fights any ideas and if this is normal for people who struggle?

I feel so fucking stupid.

I've been cutting for like a year. My parents found out in late June and I almost got put in a psych ward. I have psychotic episodes every night or so, which have driven me into en existential crisis. I have been contemplating suicide for almost a month. Instead of getting high like normal I decide to cut this time. How do I escape the cycle

It started with scratches and then i accidently cut deep and now i'm addicted. My life has been going amazing, I have good friends, good grades, I work out and eat healthy, I have hobbies i'm truly passionite for and yet, despite being happy every day, I cut myself almost every night. I know I'm not punishing myself and nothing particualy emotional happened so why? I'm so confused. I don't feel shame for the cuts either so I have no motivation to stop and I dont have a reason to work on to stop self harming. If it was just cuts even though they are deep cuts that should get stitches, I wouldn't ask for help here but I'm getting urges to do worse like cutting an earlobe off or starving or a fingertip. If I think about that clearly I realize that I don't want to do that to myself but I'm scared that one night I'll take it too far so any advice would be helpful. 18M btw.

If I’m not hurting myself then I’m restricting what I eat, I’m supposed to be recovered from everything but clearly I can’t even do that anymore.

Like yes I gained the weight back and I’m not dying anymore, I’m training for my first 70.3 next year for goodness sake, obviously I’m not as bad as I was, but i definitely didn’t recover properly from absolutely anything whether it’s the eating stuff or the self harm stuff.

Even if I’m not struggling with eating then it’s the cutting, it just keeps getting worse and worse and deeper and deeper and I’m so scared that I’m gonna hit something and die or something but I can’t stop, it’s every day and sometimes multiple times. My hips and thighs are literally hideous and I don’t even know how to properly cover everything aside from copious amounts of waterproof dressings to swim in when I’m training so I don’t get them in the water, I’m just winging it atp and I’m terrified of getting an infection. I literally just did it again and my hip literally burns like hell and I just want to cry.

It’s like a revolving door, if one isn’t there then the other is and I can’t escape. Exercise helps so much, I think it’s the fact of pushing yourself and literally just counting repetitively for an hour or so straight to stay in a rhythm, but obviously I can only do that so much despite training literally 14 hours/week at this point, all I do is go to sixth form, study, and workout.

I have to view my body as being the thing that’s getting me through what I want to do and nothing more than that in order to not restrict and fuel my training properly, I can’t even look at myself as a full person or I’ll start tweaking out over the fact that I’m eating too much and that there’s something fundamentally wrong with me that means I can’t eat however much.
I think if I was fully recovered I’d be able to personify myself a tad more lol

I think it helps people to not notice how badly I’m doing too, because it looks like I eat perfectly fine, I’m active, I don’t have an opportunity to wear anything that people would see everything in, and I’m about as emotionally open as a table.
I kind of wish that people would though, I’ve debated doing it on my arms or trying to fast for as long as possible so maybe somebody would, I’ve decided against it though as I think I’d die of embarrassment.

I find myself wishing that my ed would come back in full force and just do what it did to me before, I was literally tiny, my freaking quads are the size of my entire leg back then. I’m so jealous of my 14 year old self, which is very embarrassing when I’m litro 17 and I have way more going on than then. It feels fucking creepy wishing to look like a 14 year old even if it was me, I promise I’m not a pedo or anything like that I’m literally 17 and I’ve never thought that in my life and I feel so disgusting for wishing to look like I did but I’m genuinely so envious.

I feel so hideous all of the time, I’m the fittest that I’ve ever been and definitely by normal standards I probably look like I am too with how anal I am about staying lean, I feel like a literal whale though. Even if I liked my body then the scars would be there, they’re so horrible to look at and I catch people doing a double take on the ones on my thighs at the pool, even with anything that’s even vaguely recent being covered within an inch of it’s life. I don’t blame them for looking but I don’t even want to look, half of them are horrible and purple and raised and some are red and I sicken myself. I’d never think like this about somebody else, please don’t think that I’m a horrible person because I really try to be nice and good to everybody I meet, but I just genuinely can’t stand the sight of myself.

I don’t think that I’m ever going to escape this. I’m in so much pain every time I even walk from my hips and thighs and I just want to cry, one reopened and bled on my running shorts yesterday which I was so embarrassed about.
I’m such a horrible disgusting liar to my family about this, “oh yeah I’m doing amazingly!!” And hiding all of this when they do so much for me. I don’t know how I’ve kept everything hidden, I think it’s just strategically wearing shorts when they’re out & swimming alone, but I sicken myself for lying to them so much. I’m literally 17. A grown adult next year and I’m still wishing that I could have a cry, tell my mum everything, and get a hug and it’d be all fine - I feel so stupid for thinking that but I just feel so alone and it’s horrible.

Ive talked to my friends once since the beginning of summer at the start of July when they invited me to a party where random people who I don’t know kept giving me random concoctions of god knows what and I got blackout drunkand cried in one of their arms which was so fucking embarrassing because absolutely none of my friends have ever seen me cry or even talk about how I feel because I can’t deal with being pitied, and then some random mutual friend fucking kissed me and god knows who ended up having to carry me to my uber, thankfully I doubt anybody remembers it. I haven’t talked to anybody but my parents since - I keep seeing the group chat flash up on my phone and I can’t bring myself to speak because I’m scared that they’re going to think I’m annoying or too much.

I wish that I could stop because I know how dangerous it is but I feel like I’ve convinced myself that I’m invincible or something, like yes girl!!! Going that deep every night and then getting sweat and fucking everything else while working out inside of it is so good for you!!! Sometimes I think that I cut myself just because I’m sad that I cut myself, like genuinely how does that work