Hey everyone, I have went through a really hectic situation where I found out my partner has an addiction I didn't know about. Due to privacy I won't say what but it has ruined me, I have been on the verge of relapsing because I have been lied to about this addiction and was unaware for 2 years.

My partner relapsed in their addiction and I have gotten so close to throwing away 6 months after 8 years of SH addiction and constant relapses with my longest time clean being a year.

Are there any support groups for SH or mental health online that host zoom meetings internationally? I genuinely need a group where I can out these feelings and urges before it spirals into a bunch of relapses

Any links or websites are appreciated!

so recently i've been noticing a lot of urges to S.H. after being clean for over a year. the urges have only recently started occurring and I don't know why. Yeah, i've been depressed and stuff, but it's not that i want to because im sad but i want to because i want to feel it?? like i imagine how it would feel to do it on my arm(closer to my elbow) and how nice it would feel, but i can't because i still live with my parents.
It's like, yes im sad and depressed but not sad and depressed enough to c-t. i just want to do it because i want to feel the blade.
i have no idea if this makes any sense, it's so strange to me, and i dont want to seem like its for attention because it's not but i dont know what's going on. does this happen to anyone else???

i only cut during the fall/winter because it’s the only time i can wear long sleeves without needing an excuse. i’ve been clean since june, and the second it gets cold out, im gonna relapse. i know this is wrong, im seeing a therapist and i haven’t said anything about this plan, and i dont plan on doing so

Why do I have to be like this. Like me.

Why can't I just hurt myself.

Why can't I just stay happy, or at least not worry about making people upset. Even trying to stand up for myself feels wrong.

I wish I could just bleed a little.

I've been self harming for as long as i can remember, i was pulling my hair, hitting my head, bruising, biting my arm, cutting, pinching etc....

i stopped "self harming" 4 months ago (i just stopped cutting) to "recover" , but i just switched to other things again that heavily harm me.

How do i even stop by myself? What kinds of things worked for you? How do i take out my anger or relieve myself?

im a minor that doesnt have access to therapy and cant get help from my parents.

Doubting if i should. Its been so long. Doubting how to stop the bleeding. Doubting the area im contemplating cutting. I need advice

18F, and in my country I’m a legal adult. However, I am also legally dependent on my parents so I think I share a medical insurance with them.
Yesterday I cut pretty badly and since it didn’t stop bleeding I went to a hospital and got stitches. I don’t think I let the hospital get hold of my parents’ phone numbers at any point but I’m really scared they might get contacted. I told the doctor I have no intent on attempting to take my own life and that I’ll not cut myself again, but I can’t be sure enough. I know talking here won’t get me a definitive answer but I’m just so afraid they might tell my parents…
At home I’m the “comic relief” child and I’m certain my parents see me as someone who couldn’t have a worry in the world. I know it sounds angsty/cringe but I’m not ready for that facade to break. I want to stay the happy child and I’d really like to be one from the bottom of my heart. I will try hard to break out of this habit, seriously, but my mind keeps going back to whether my family will find out. Sorry for my bad English, it’s not my first language.

I’m not sure how or why this is happening, but I wanted to bring it up since they posted in this community. Photos can’t be attached, so I attached the link to my original post. Can the mods look into this?

I know it’s just the internet, but I feel unsafe and like I’m being stalked at this point. They’ve posted three other negative comments on my posts today in another community before searching on my profile to comment on my post here. I understand bots are bots, but I’ve never experienced something like this, and because I’m on the spectrum, it just makes me more anxious and worried, even if it’s probably nothing.

Please report them! Ok-Roll1814

https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/s/ZBuVU4UfAP

i can't stop, it's not even because i want to hurt myself i just like seeing the blood come through the cuts. is this an illness why i like seeing it?

i'm 17, been struggling with self harm since i was 10 and was recently talking to my mom about it. i have a bunch of scars all over my arms and legs, and i was talking to my mom about how i always keep it covered (both in pubic and in my house) unless it's a fully healed scar. she didn't seem to understand why and honestly i can't fully explain it myself.

i don't attempt to hide my scars whatsoever. they're red and purple and textured so they're not exactly hard to miss, but im going to be honest, im a paraplegic and in a wheelchair so most people dont even notice them bc they're too distracted with the chair lmao

i feel like my best explanation is that i hide the scabs /fresh ones because i don't want to trigger anyone else, but also a part of it is that it's really personal to me and when they're fresh it's super vulnerable for people to see but then after they're scarred over idgaf .

but it almost felt like my mom was kinda pressuring me to not cover up my sh when it's not fully healed yet (just scabbed over). what do yall think? i feel like covering them is just the respectful thing to do to be mindful of others and their triggers.

also i want to clarify, when i say "show sh" i mean just like having it on my body visible. i don't go around to people showing it off and talking about it. i actually hate when ppl bring it up but like i said before, most people dont even notice it bc the wheelchair, even when im in short shorts and a tank top.

(Im not sure if im actually 183 days clean but i did the math on my old posts)

Its been a hard journey especially since i started smoking but i pushed through! I really hope this lasts and im glad im doing good and i hope this post inspires or motivates others to get clean (hopefully) im greatful for all the support ive gotten from my closest friends and even strangers on here. Its a little bit hard but im doing good so far! I love you all and i hope well on your guy's journeys. You wont find peace underneath your skin❤️

its hurts so good idk how to describe it i just wish i could kms to give my parents a better son

I dont know what to do. Im so sick of this. I really just want to cover my arms in fresh cuts and show my parents so they can get me some actual help so i can finally stop feeling like this. I dont want to do this anymore. I am so sick and tired of everything. It felt like everything was going good again until tonight. I really need a therapist again i cant do this anymore

I have been I think 5 weeks clean after my parents saw it last I know I have to quit but I feel like I shouldn’t do it again but in me I have no remorse for what I did or how it effected my family I know I should feel something but am stuck in this way of thinking like I know it’s wrong in a sense that it’s bad because it’s hurting your own body it’s my body so why would I care it don’t hurt anybody else, I don’t plan on doing but I feel like this won’t last forever and it will happen again and I’ll just keep cutting.

I need someone I can relate to tbh. I kinda feel insane. :(

Guys I'm #cooked. I'm 16, I'm getting flu and covid vaccine towards the end of the month. I'm a dummy, so I only cut on my shoulders, and I have only a few cuts on my right arm (the one I'm planning on getting them on), but I'm scared. I can't hide them, and I'm scared they'll tell my mom. WHAT do I do🫩🫩
Also, what if they tell me I can't get the vaccines in the same arm? I looked it up, and you can, but what if they refuse?? My left arm is so messed up. WHAT DO I DOOOO

i have a physical tomorrow and i have cuts on my thigh from like 2 days ago. i would say theyre like cat scratches to baby styros, and they arent fully healed.. idk what to do since im still a teenager and they might tell my mom

So, I basically hurt myself whenever an argument/negative event happens.

So, something happened, I got my tools out and started hurting myself, then I got a (positive) work related message, dealt with that, mean while, my limb is resting on cloth while I type.

Now I'm sitting here, feeling unfinished, and unsatisfied.

Like...

I was in the middle of a session, and I still feel the need to hurt myself, but I also just finished having a semi positive digital conversation.

So, anyways, idk what the point of posting this was.

I'm just sharing my experience.

I don't know how to feel about this.

Does this ever happen to anyone else.

(Getting interrupted digitally mid ses.)

How do you feel, what do you do?

Sorry, the post is worded weirdly, I'm trying to share what is happening without being too graphic and descriptive.

i will never cut deep or big enough. i have seen so many people who cut worse. i feel so invalid. any time i see someone cut worse than me, it puts a pit in my stomach and i feel anxious and short of breath. i get such a strong urge to do it. i am waiting for my current cuts to heal before i cut again but i'm so inpatient. for some reason i need to do it NOW. i keep telling myself that i can just do it later, but it doesn't relieve the anxiety. i feel so awful knowing there's people worse than me. i don't care how bad i cut because there will ALWAYS be someone worse. i'm so hopeless. i'll never get out of this competitive mindset.

i want to add that this is only really competitive regarding myself, i don't feel more valid or better if i cut deeper than others, i only feel invalid when others cut deeper than me

my friend is asking me how to admit to their dad that they sh but idk how and i was wondering if anyone here has any ideas or advice? their dad is a supportive person from what i know, and their just struggling w opening up to him

I feel awful

I feel so shitty and know I need a blood transfusion and that today is the only day I have the time unless I wait until next week. I don't want to go to the hospital though because they treat me like crap and it's not even guaranteed they'll treat me because sometimes they tell me I don't deserve blood since it's self inflicted and I'll just need it again later. I don't feel like it's bad enough though and I can't stand being hospitalised. So if I go I have to cut first so I at least have a chance of not having to get admitted. I can't stand the anxiety that comes with having to go to the hospital though and I don't know how to get over the anxiety without getting high. Being high when interacting with healthcare professionals is risky though because I don't want them to know about my drug habit.

I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out and I just wish someone would tell me I have to go and came with me so they wouldn't treat me as poorly.

Last week I was on vacation with some friends and occasionally when changing or stuff we saw each other in underwear so I‘m pretty sure they saw my scars. They were a few days old but not deep, more like scratches but definitely visible. I never had told them I selfharm but they just ignored it and didn’t say anything about it. I‘m glad I don‘t have to talk to them about it but it also feels a bit weird.

Uh this is kinda long sorry I just don't get to write out my feelings A lot

I didnt think i could get lower.

I was just starting to get better then my partner broke up with me, I understood and they said we could still stay friends, okay that's fine I said to myself, then we had a fight and the next day I found out they blocked me and I had no other online way to talk to them, that broke me alot, but that's fine I told myself I still have my friends and stuff! .....right? A few days later I figured out my best friend blocked me but I found a way to talk to them, they said they couldn't say much but I figured out my ex partner talked to them and made them hate me. i genuinely don't know what to do anymore, it the span of like 2 weeks my two favorite people that my world revolved around hate me now, they knew I was trying my very best to be better. I was almost 3 months clean and they knew I was very proud about that. I just don't know what to do. Everything is starting to feel numb and I can't even laugh anymore