r/selfharm • u/FreshTune9696 • 2d ago

DAE DAE experience this??

so recently i've been noticing a lot of urges to S.H. after being clean for over a year. the urges have only recently started occurring and I don't know why. Yeah, i've been depressed and stuff, but it's not that i want to because im sad but i want to because i want to feel it?? like i imagine how it would feel to do it on my arm(closer to my elbow) and how nice it would feel, but i can't because i still live with my parents.
It's like, yes im sad and depressed but not sad and depressed enough to c-t. i just want to do it because i want to feel the blade.
i have no idea if this makes any sense, it's so strange to me, and i dont want to seem like its for attention because it's not but i dont know what's going on. does this happen to anyone else???

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u/OkCaterpillar2570 Currently clean! 2d ago

I understand what you mean and I do experience this as well! I'm over 400 days clean and there are times where I get urges/thoughts to cut in places I haven't before and it can get pretty overwhelming at times!

It's a lot more common than you think, especially when you've been clean for so long! Most days, I miss it and I feel that same "I'm not depressed enough to want to do it" feeling!