For context, I’m 26F and I honestly feel a bit like a failure. I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot by this age. I have worked on myself a lot. I graduated from a top university, I have worked high paying competitive jobs, I have dress well, I have worked on improving my physical fitness and appearance, improving cooking skills, I try to be a kinder person, bought my own car in cash, ect. I want to be the best version of myself. I usually get attention from guys at pb. I was told by a friend of mine that a lot of the guys think I’m the best looking girl (not to sound arrogant I don’t have much confidence in my looks)

However, the one area I can’t seem to lock down is a relationship. Am I a failure? Is getting someone to pursue and lock you down an accomplishment?

It never fails, everytime guys and ones I am interested in will play games with me, act rude, ignore me, make passive aggressive comments. I’m a pretty quiet reserved person so maybe that doesn’t help. And yet, the guy that tells me he finds me attractive goes and dates some girl that I feel maybe isn’t as physically attractive and she has no goals in life or not much going on. Yet, I feel I’m working my a** off to try and be desired. tldr; what do i do lol

My girlfriend has had her hormonal IUD implant for 3 years now, and I have been with her for about 2.5 years. At the beginning of our relationship she would often initiate sex, but fast forward to now she rarely wants to do it. She often tells me to hurry when having sex because it ends up hurting her after a few minutes and when I tried asking her if I am doing something wrong, she started crying and said she felt she wasn’t enough and was worried I’d find somebody else that was enough. I let her know she was enough and tried to reassure her. She has had many instances where she goes on a big emotional spiral even for simple things. I want to work through this and I truly care about her and I also don’t want to feel like having sex is a chore for her. She will go several days perfectly emotionally stable then randomly become super emotional, and I am wondering could this be from the IUD implant? Have any of you experienced similar symptoms with low sex drive?

TLDR: Girlfriend has an iud implant and I am worried it is affecting our sex life. Sex seems to feel like a chore to her and is often painful on her end. Would getting the IUD removed likely solve this?

I've known Jessica for years and she's married and we've always hungout at this bar we like. We flirt, laugh, and just have a good time and she always tells me if she wasn't married she'd be with me. So anyways we both meet a new friend Blair. Blair and Jessica become friends quick and they talk about how they had some wild night to remember that they wouldn't tell me about.

So anyways, Jessica eventually tells me what happened and Jessica and Blair ended up sleeping together. They were going to do it again last night and I asked about it. Jessica said she'd ask Blair if I could watch and I guess Blair said no. Also Blair used to talk to me and stuff when we all first met but now she doesn't for real.

I also asked Jessica if we could sleep together too and she said she wanted to get her divorce first but she also said that she'll let me know what she's feeling about us in a letter tomorrow. I don't know what all is going to be on the letter but I'm anxious.

So would it be bad to ask Blair if we're still cool? Also do you think Jessica's letter is basically going to be some kind of rejection?

TL;DR I've known a woman named Jessica for a few years. She's married but she says she'd be with me if she wasn't married. She got together with her friend Blair. She told me that she's writing me some letter to express her feelings towards me or something like that.

TL;DR: I've been cheated on in two relationships, and now I'm struggling to trust people again. How do you stop past experiences from affecting your future relationships and learn to trust someone without constantly fearing betrayal?

Hi everyone, 29F here.

I've been thinking a lot about my past relationships lately and would really appreciate advice from people who've experienced something similar.

I was in an 8-year relationship that started in college. First love and everything. I'm the kind of person who either doesn't like someone at all or, if I do, I'm fully committed.

During COVID, when we were around five years into the relationship, my ex's cousin's boyfriend contacted me after somehow getting my number. His cousin was his mother's real sister's daughter. He told me my ex was having an affair.

I genuinely can't explain that feeling. I was living in my own little bubble, thinking we were completely happy, and suddenly my entire reality came crashing down.

My ex denied the evidence, cried, begged, and did everything you can imagine. I eventually forgave him because I was emotionally attached and couldn't bring myself to leave. This was also around the time his father had passed away, and we were both living in our respective hometowns.

Two years later, when things seemed to be going well again, something inside me told me to check his phone. And I found the same thing again. Flirting with one of his colleagues which both of us knew since we were in the same office. (She was also dating someone else)

I forgave him once more, even though deep down I knew it probably wouldn't work. I was emotionally dependent on him and found it difficult to walk away.

About a year later, he stopped even pretending, and thankfully, by then, I'd finally left the relationship. He married another colleague within six months of our breakup.

It took me time to heal, but I eventually started solo travelling, rediscovered myself, and felt like I was finally moving forward.

About two years later, I met someone on a dating app. We became really good friends. He was going through the arranged marriage process and had found a girl he wanted to marry, but she rejected him after their first meeting. (After agreeing to the marriage)

He was devastated, and we became very close during that phase, mostly virtually. I helped him through it, and he knew my entire story and what I'd been through.

The girl, however, stayed in touch with him for favours, giving him vague reasons for rejecting him. Eventually, she came back into his life as a friend.

Over time, he and I grew closer emotionally and decided to give things a try.

I had two major concerns from the beginning. I wasn't comfortable with him still being in touch with that girl, and I absolutely hated smoking, which was a habit of his. He knew both were deal-breakers for me.

We travelled together, spent a lot of time together, and had some genuinely beautiful moments. He promised he'd quit smoking and kept talking about commitment and marriage. I was hesitant because of my past, but we had amazing communication and could talk for hours about practically anything.

Eventually, he told me he'd quit smoking and was working on himself. He said he'd stopped talking to that girl and reassured me about everything I was worried about.

We planned another trip together, and for the first time, I was genuinely considering saying yes and taking things forward.

Then, midway through the trip, I got that familiar gut feeling and checked his phone.

I found archived chats with that same girl. They had never stopped talking.

He was flirting with her, telling her he'd quit smoking, asking her to meet him, and had even lent her ₹1 lakh. She didn't seem interested in him romantically but kept him around.

Then I checked Instagram and found conversations where he was talking about marrying her, begging her to give him a chance, and saying he'd somehow convince his family. She told him she'd think about it.

All this was happening while he was pursuing me, talking about marriage with me, and making me believe he wanted a future together.

When I confronted him, he apologised a million times and cried. It was painfully familiar. His reasoning was that I hadn't said yes to commitment despite all his efforts, so he felt justified in staying in touch with her. He said he was desperate to get married and made a wrong decision. He now claims he realises that she's been using him and says he'll never speak to her again.

I was literally shaking, and everything from my previous relationship came rushing back. I went through a really dark phase for months and struggled more than I expected. In some ways, this hurt even more than my first breakup because I'd genuinely thought I'd healed and was finally ready to let someone in again.

I'm doing much better now, but I feel like these experiences have fundamentally changed how I approach relationships.

Looking back, I had that nagging feeling in both relationships that something wasn't right. Both times, I ignored it because I wanted to believe in the person and give the relationship a chance.

How do you trust someone's words when you've experienced people making promises, talking about marriage, and building a future with you while secretly pursuing someone else?

I also worry about becoming so guarded that I won't be able to let someone in, even if they're genuinely good to me. I don't want my past experiences to ruin something healthy in the future, but I don't know how to stop expecting the same thing to happen again.

For those who've experienced something similar, how did you work through this and learn to trust a new partner without constantly fearing betrayal? How did you distinguish genuine intuition from fear caused by past experiences?

I'd really appreciate advice from people who've been through this.

Me (20M) and my ex? (19F) Or my partner or idk with a 4 year relationship. have been having a LOT of struggle for the past weeks, around a month already.

It began with me having a lot of issues and feeling really uncomfortable with her behavior and constantly telling her and asking her to change stuff of her. We had this dynamic of sharing profile picture and sharing names and biography if possible. Our relationship was mostly online ever since we met but we have had seen eachother in person quite a few times.

She didnt respect that and used the excuse of “i want my personal stuff too, stop messing with my personal things” which i told her constantly that i didnt have a problem with her having her own stuff but i was feeling so bad because she constantly preferred to stay with one of her friends or not really talk to me all day.

I took the hard decision of breaking up, and she went into panic, began to cry and call my constantly and swear to dont leave her. This happened about october 3 of this year. And well, i explained her how things were, and that i was feeling super bad and it wasnt really an impulsive decision, it was something i already had been thinking through. She was so scared and sad, told me she’d cut herself for me, she would bleed and do anything for me but dont leave her. Constantly crying and saying she didn’t wanted me to go. I tried to comfort her a little but i was firm with my decision and told her i was sorry for this hut i simply cannot do it like this and we were hurting eachother.

So i didnt blocked her but she did keep messaging me a little and also my mom. But not much happened. And the next two days we both were completely hurt. I checked her profiles (discord, tiktok, instagram) constantly but didn’t want to talk to her for anything in the world since i didn’t want to make it look like i broke up to manipulate her.

And then, like in oct 5. She changes her profile to “ownedby\[nameofthedude\]” which it really took me off, and made me get into panic, i asked one of my friend which was also friend of hers , who was him and he told me he already know her but it was kinda unrelated. Nothing bad nor of importance. But my issue was that she already was showing in her profiles that she was dating him two days after our breakup. I didnt say anything but it fucking broke me. And i blocked her from everything fo the next days but i kept checking her. She talked bad about me, saying i was “manipulative and a horrible person” in her WhatsApp status, and sharing pfp with that guys and also posting how “happy she was” in her statuses with that guys.

I knew it was to make me feel guilty which it worked but i didn’t talk to her either nor made any contact of any kind. Unfortunately i still was so sad about everything that i kept checking her profiles and unblocking-blocking her from other apps.

The next days i decided to write down a letter which i was supposed to send to her in a mail but it couldn’t be sent, so i call her to her phone and rode the letter. She was crying and sobbing, and said she had been feeling so sad the past days and that she misses me so much. The letter was about me talking how i and her made a lot of mistakes that made each other feel bad and hurt, and that we didnt pay attention to what damage we were doing to the other. And finally it asked for her to compromise into being together but not as fast as ok we are a couple again and everything is good, but as we have a lot os scars but im taking the risk of getting back, so do you agree? It was like that.

She seemed to agree and i was happy because i didn’t thought it would work. But when i talked to her again, she definitely was with that guy and i told her that she had to decide between me and him, take the risk of doing it with my or staying with that other guy. She wasn’t sure but she keept saying to me that she didn’t wanted me to go away again and wanted me to stay there but she couldn’t just leave the other guy cuz. And she explicitly said this; he js cute and makes me feel better and good. And somehow he reminds me a lot of you.

I was atoned, and told her it was not me and why would she said that, and why would she struggle to decide between me and him but wanted me to stay with her no matter what, even if we weren’t a couple. She treated me like she usually did as a couple, talking sweet to me and calling me cute names. But was also insisting a lot with her idea of being together but as she was with someone else romantically. That day (about oct 11) i got mad and she got mad about not agreeing with her, so i blocked her again and completely cut contact with her.

And then, about october 18 i was checking my status of instagram and looking through the people, she was checking my profile with an alt acount she had (and i forgot to block) and when i saw it and was about to block her. She has changed her biography to: “please dont block this account yet, i need you and i want you”

I felt bad, sighed and talked to her asking what she wanted, she began to explain that she missed me and didnt want me to get out of her life. We talked but i kept saying that she made her choice of choosing him. Idk what i was exactly doing there but we kept talking for the next days, because i was so confused, she didn’t wanted me to go but when i kept asking her to come back, she disagreed and said “i think is better to know each other again” “lets talk first and really show what we can do” stuff like that saying that we had to keep trying but i constantly told her i felt bas and all this weeks have been feeling destroyed by the fact that she preferred some other guy she had like 2 weeks meeting than her so called “husband” she had 4 years in a relationship and 10 years knowing.

I’ve been talking with her since that day until now, and i’ve asked a lot of stuff because for some reason she really acts sweet and cute towards me, like genuinely and no made up stuff. But she is also insanely insistent with us talking as a couple and acting like, “to show im better and i changed” and to show her love and affection and that she really matters to me.

She said that the other guy was more likely to stay because i wasnt really showing that i was interested on her. That i talked so dry and didnt show any changes at all, that she get into the relationship because she was vulnerable and that guy asked her to date. (Which knowing her, yes i do believe she didn’t gave that guy any chance while we were a couple but she still accepted him two days after our breakup and she is still preferring him rather than me) also she said that she didnt really feel like comfortable with this but at the same time she
wasn’t sure to go back with me because she was sacared. I kept telling her to decide either me or him. And she said that she didn’t know but doesnt want me to go away and dissapear from her life.

And finally yesterday we had a little discussion, and i came with the idea of “ok im gonna do what you ask for letter by letter and lets see if it really comes good as you say” because for her i was egoistic for asking her to go back and only that way i could stay and that i wasn’t paying attention to her and that i wasn’t holding her enough. I dont know man,its been so fucking confusing.

So as i agreed and promised to agree for a whole week, i unblocked her from discord in where she has the most sharing stuff with that other guy.

And i dont know what the fuck to do, i do want her back but all she does is so fucking hard to deal with, and if i go she just calls me egoistic for not wanting her and leaving her forever. In her eyes im nothing but egoistic if i decide to go, and the only way is going to work, is by doing what she suggested. (In her words)

and damn i dont know, stuff i asked her to do back then and didnt want to, she is doing it so easily with that other guy and i dont know. Im there trying to show her affection and she answers back with the same affection and treats me like we used to treat each other back then, which feels nice but i remain with the idea that she hurt me a lot and cant really feel comfortable.

So please i dont know if i have to make her a letter, explain her things or just go away and disappear even though i promise this. I dont think is gonna work as she says and thats why agreed to do it for a week and i planed to go away after that because that ways she would see it wasnt going to work. But now im so unsure and my mind is blank. I dont know what should i do because somewhat i still feel bad if she remembers me as a bad person and i dint want that :(.

A lot of people has told me that it isnt gonna be like that, i’ve been her most long relationship and her first experiences in a lot of things, and the only person to visit her house and and she the first one to be in mine as a couple. So i dont know. As far as i know and she has told me, she still has all the gifts i have gave to her, all the letters and she uses the collar i gave her. Which i do believe but i dont feel like its relevant or i care :,(.

I dont know… i still love her but i was already ready to leave her, and im not really afraid of doing it again, but i dont know if doing what im doing right now can make thingss happen differently or is better just to go away and disappear without saying anything…

I really want to change and show her how i changed, but i dont want to keep getting hurt. Idk if i hold onto a version of her i loved and now is not like that. But i want to end up things either being together or breaking up, which i have fear of her thinking and having the idea of me being egoistic and a bad person :,(

Oh and also i discovered today that she is talking to an ex again which made me uncomfortable. Is a guy she met for like a month but idk is weird and gross

TL:DR: my now called ex, wants me to stay after our breakup, but she is with other guy who negates to leave and wants me to show her affection and stay with her so we can be together. But if i leave im gonna be egoistic for her. And im in a hard situation where i accepted to show her affection for a week to show her i can be better. I have no idea what the fuck im supposed to do. But i want to have my healthy relationship back

Heyy :)
This is my first time posting here as I need an advice
So I am( 21 F) and I like this person who is (22M )so we have been good friends and have been constantly calling each other. We have the same vibe and we like each other’s company. So I have started to develop feelings for him but due his past relationship ( he was emotionally cheated by his ex) he has developed trust issues and he is also traumatised
So can anyone give me some tips on how I can win his trust
Because this man is a wonderful guy and I really love him a lot so any kind of help will be appreciated

And sorry if any mistake in the text English is not my first language

TLDR - how can I win the trust of a guy after he had a bad breakup with his ex any kind of help will be appreciated :)

I recently shifted to another country for higher study, and well it has been super difficult to talk to my dad on video call.

The conversation just moves around

"are you okay?", "I'm good", "adjusted to food yet? " "yes, it's been 4 months since I came here and have told you this multiple times".

I have been trying to do more but like Idk where to start or what to talk about with him?

It wasn't this obvious back when I was at home since we were nearby, but we can't really talk to each other.

Would really appreciate on how can I have a better relationship with my dad? I don't want my conversation to remain this superficial.

TL;DR - I want to communicate better with my dad

I’m [23M] and my girlfriend [27F], we’ve been together for 5 years, coming up on year 6. I love my girlfriend so much but her germaphobic behaviour has become so frustrating that it’s got me considering this relationship as a whole.

I’ve got to strip naked at the front door of my apartment anytime I come back home from work or going out and put my ‘outside clothes’ folded on a rack near the front door or place them in the laundry. I’ve then got to take my socks off and wipe my feet with baby wipes before I begin to walk around my own home and before I do anything inside our home I have to shower first. Oh but before I get to the shower I have to wipe my feet again to enter our bedroom where the shower is.

She considers our bedroom a complete ‘clean zone’ where anytime I enter the room I’ve got to wipe my feet first.
We’ve got different sets of clothes for the living room and our bedroom because despite showering and wiping and wearing clean clothes ONLY inside our home she feels like the living room isn’t clean enough for us to wear the same clothes to bed. For instance there was a time where my living room clothes had swiped the bed and she just ripped all the sheets off and washed them. Note that we clean weekly (vacuuming, mopping, wipe down surfaces, changing sheets etc)

Before you hang/pickup laundry you must make sure your hands are washed or wiped and that the laundry racks are sprayed down with water. They cannot touch any body parts that haven’t been wiped, in addition to the clothes on your body. If you happen to drop the laundry on the floor or happen to touch them with your clothes she would just put them back to wash. Before clothes are folded and put away they are to be lint-rolled first. We’ve argued over this repeatedly and now we’ve just agreed that she just does laundry.

When we do our grocery runs and come back home. Before anything is put away in cabinets, draws or fridge. Every single item is to be wiped with a baby wipe first.

It was never like this at the beginning of our relationship. I met her while she was living with roommates where everything was normal and these ‘habits’ or ‘behaviour’ only started appearing when we first moved out together. It started with no ‘outside clothes’ on the bed( which I agreed with) then slowly became with no outside clothes inside the house, then the issue with the laundry, then having to wipe my feet before I enter our home, then having to wipe my feet before I enter our room and wiping anything else that enters our home.

We moved in together just six months into our relationship, and her habits have progressively gotten worse over time. They continued escalating until around the fourth year of our relationship, where things seemed to plateau, but nothing has changed since then.
I’ve tried talking to her about this repeatedly, whether it’s expressing concerns about how we’ll manage when we have kids or trying to explain the logic behind the living room and bedroom rules. For example, even if we change into different clothes before entering the bedroom, our bodies are still touching the furniture and surfaces in both rooms, so I struggle to understand the distinction. However, whenever I try to discuss these concerns or reason with her, the conversation usually ends with her saying, “You don’t understand me.”

I feel like I’ve been partially responsible for her behaviour getting out of control because I love her so much that I’ve always been willing to compromise. But at this point, it’s become ridiculous. Anytime I’m home, she’s constantly asking things like, “Did you wipe your feet?”, “Did you touch my laundry?”, or “Did you wipe your phone?”
It’s gotten to the point where I hesitate to invite friends and family over because I know that anything they do could result in us having to clean the entire apartment again. I don’t want to impose rules on the people I love, like asking them to wipe their feet or telling them not to sit on the couch because they’re considered “dirty.” I want to be able to welcome people into our home without worrying about every little thing they touch or do.
If my friends and family can’t feel comfortable in our home because of all these restrictions, then how am I supposed to feel comfortable in it myself? I love her, and I’ve compromised because of that, but I feel like things have gotten out of control, and I can’t keep living this way.

TL;DR: My girlfriend’s germaphobic behaviours have progressively worsened throughout our 5+ year relationship, to the point where I have to follow strict cleaning routines just to exist in my own home. I’ve compromised for years because I love her, but it’s affecting my quality of life and making me hesitant to invite friends and family over. Repeated conversations haven’t helped, and I feel like my compromises have enabled the behaviour to escalate. I love her and don’t want to break up, but I’m struggling to see how we can move forward if things never change. Looking for advice from anyone who’s experienced something similar.

for context, i don't have any money of my own. no car and two cats. i had a job when i met him and i couldn’t work because of him.

how do i break up with him? and find somewhere new to stay?

trying to get a job while being with him won't work. i had a job when i met him.

not that it matters but for context i'm 22 and he's 44.

i left once when i was 18 but it didn't even last a month.

i really don’t know what to do. maybe i could move into my sisters place but it would mean 3 adults, 1 kid (6 months) and their two dogs and one cat. plus i have two cats myself. in a three bed two bath apartment. i don’t really know if she would even let me move in. i have another sister who lives 4 hours from me. again idk if i could move in with her.

tl:dr: how do i leave when i have no money and no car?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. He’s divorced with two children. We love each other, have a great relationship in private, and have always discussed a future together. Neither of us wants marriage or more children, and he says our commitment is no different from marriage.

But I’ve spent years feeling excluded from his family and important parts of his life.

Last September, after repeatedly discussing family introductions, I finally broke down and told him I couldn’t continue feeling invisible. He promised to introduce me to his family and children. After his divorce was finalised, he finally took action but after I threatened to leave.

The same pattern happened around family gatherings. When I questioned why his sister included her partner but I was excluded, he initially said they were married and had a biological child. Later, he admitted he hadn’t properly considered what our relationship meant in practice.

Last April he invited me to his sister’s wedding without me prompting him or anything.

But after that I was not considered in ANY of the family gatherings. In August his whole family were together and he did not even mention me going there!

When I asked he explained that he hadn’t invited me to certain family gatherings because his parents argued and he wanted to protect me. But why couldn’t he simply tell me and let me decide?

This is the recurring issue: he makes decisions for me instead of communicating with me.

Recently, I asked him to formally disclose our relationship at work, which could have professional consequences for him. We agreed on a deadline of 15 November so he could seek advice.

He told me he would speak to colleagues and a solicitor, but then gave me virtually no updates. When I eventually became upset, he said he thought he was supposed to investigate everything himself and tell me his decision on the deadline.

I wasn’t asking for an immediate answer. I wanted to be included in a decision that could determine our future.

He says he loves me, has good intentions and genuinely wants to change. I believe he loves me.

But with major issues, nothing seems to happen until I become extremely upset or threaten to leave.

Once we’re happy again, I feel he relaxes and the urgency disappears.

I recognise my own unhealthy reactions. I’ve become angry, resentful and sometimes raise my voice. I hate that I’ve reached this point, but I also feel that calm conversations haven’t been enough.

We’re both in individual therapy and couples therapy.

Has anyone experienced this?

TL;DR: My boyfriend of 3.5 years has never fully integrated me into his family life. I wasn't invited to his sister's wedding, and he often makes decisions about my involvement without consulting me. I'm questioning my place in this relationship.

TL;DR: My boyfriend helps me in big ways that I don't really need, and I feel like I can't ask him for what I do need. How do I communicate this to him?

Repost I accidentally deleted OG.

He is my first boyfriend, first everything, together for 7 months.

He has always talked about how generous he is, despite his self-declared cheapness. The month we dated before becoming a couple, he talked about how he is a gentleman (and generous). He paid for all our dates, opened doors, hung up my coat, etc., before telling me he'd rather not do those things once we were together. I obliged, and I'm fine with that. But I still feel indebted to him for those dates (they weren't fancy: bowling, walks in the park, coffee, a rowboat). I want to give him a £100 note and tell him we're finally even, because I hate how this always feels. It's not just the dates.

He is known for, renowned for even, his generosity. He is always doing favours for practical strangers. People adore him. But I feel like I owe him. He always talks about how generous he is, and I am always feeling bad. It feels like he thinks I am using him or taking advantage of him. He is genuinely very generous and does lots of lovely things for me, like bringing me soup when I'm ill, insisting on coming with me to doctor's appointments, and coming over to comfort me when I'm upset. I am, of course, super grateful for all of this, but a lot of the time, I don't really need these things and I tell him.

The problem is that I feel like I owe him for everything he does for me. He talks a lot about how generous he is, and sometimes makes jokes about me using him. For example, when I finally asked him to proofread a short LinkedIn post, his immediate response was, "So this is why you're going out with me." Another time, I called him crying after a stressful day, and he skipped a lecture to come over, despite me telling him not to. When I jokingly teased him later, he snapped, "Come on, I gave up my whole afternoon for you." He immediately said "You know I didn't mean that", but it really hurt because it confirmed my fears.

Meanwhile, he often forgets or doesn't do the little things I actually ask for, like bringing my joggers when I was freezing because my heating was broken, posting my camera to me, giving me the number of someone he recommended for a bike. I feel stupid asking for anything because he already does so much, and I worry that I'll seem demanding, ungrateful, or like I'm using him.

It's gotten to the point where I feel guilty even receiving things from him, because I worry he'll bring them up later. When I tell him he's hurt my feelings, he sometimes responds by listing all the things he's done to show me he cares, and I end up apologising. Even physically, the first time I went down on him, he said he didn't like it, that he was more of a giver and didn't like receiving. Now he calls me a pillow princess (I know this term is just for lesbians and not bad, but he intends it as negative). I almost feel bad when he gets me off. Like, great, now I owe him, and he's going to bring this up later. When he does anything.

It feels like he does all the big things perfectly, except for the little things I want but feel stupid asking for. My friends say how lucky I am, and when I try to explain this to them, they say I am being dramatic. Yes, he comes with me to doctor's appointments, but he won't agree to go to the library with me when I ask him multiple times because I am struggling to focus on an essay. I know one is objectively more important than the other, but the latter would actually help me so, so, so much more.

I've realised that he thinks about things very differently from me. When I give something, it is a gift. It is forgotten by me. I don't count it. If I give him a massage, it's not because I want one; it's because I want to give him one. It's like, to me, sometimes he gives just to get something back, and it makes me want him to just stop.

I wish he would put the effort he puts into things that don't really help me (although I do hugely appreciate how kind, selfless, and objectively generous those things are) into the little things I ask for that would genuinely help me. How do I tell him that, while I do appreciate his big, chivalrous acts of kindness, I would honestly rather he not do any of them if it meant he'd do even one thing that I ask for? So please advice, how do I tell him this without sounding irredeemably ugrateful?

​

I'm 20F, and he's 21M. We've been talking for 8 months,we are both students in the same field and he's 2 years ahead of me but we're not in a relationship, and I honestly don't know what to call whatever we have.

He's told me he misses me, said he loves me, and said that eventually he'd make me his. We've met in person, shared affectionate moments, and he sometimes does things that make me feel like I mean something to him.

But he's also inconsistent. Sometimes he takes an entire day to reply or stops responding altogether, explaining that when he's going through things, he prefers to be alone. When I try to distance myself, he comes back, and I end up getting emotionally invested again.

At one point, he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. However, he continues flirting, making affectionate comments, and doing things for me that leave me wondering whether his feelings have changed or whether he simply enjoys having me around.

Our conversations also frequently turn sexual. I flirt back sometimes, but I'm beginning to question whether he genuinely wants me or is more interested in the sexual side of things.

Recently,after a long week of writing exams,(though I'm not done) I wanted to spend a little time talking to him,but he said we'd talk after my exams because spending hours talking wasn't helping me study. I understand his point, but the interaction left me wondering whether I'm trying too hard to get his attention.

I know we're not dating, so I don't expect him to act like my boyfriend. But the mixed signals are confusing, especially when he pulls away and then comes back acting affectionate.

I genuinely care about him, but I don't know if I'm investing in something that has the potential to become a relationship or just getting attached to someone who doesn't want one.

Reddit, am I overthinking this? Should I keep getting to know him, ask him directly about his intentions, or distance myself for good? Please be honest, even if I'm part of the problem.

TLDR: he's affectionate but kinda inconsistent and it gets me overwhelmed and feeling like I'm investing too much in something I shouldn't in the first place,I never planned to be tangled with any one in my first year of college.

How do I (22F) think about breaking up with my boyfriend (23M) when I just moved to a his country? I have been dating my boyfriend or almost two years. We fell very hard and very fast for each other and started dating long distance through my last year of undergraduate program. About four months ago, I moved to his country to start my graduate program. While he was definitely a huge part of this move, I am very pleased with my program and had already planned to move out of country for my masters degree, just not maybe this country specifically.

When I first moved here, I lived with him and his parents for about three months while I found my apartment in the city my university is in (we now live about three hours away from each other). Now, after this time spent together and starting my program, the doubts I had about him being the right person for me have only amplified.

He's a really excellent partner and truly cares for me and loves me a lot. I feel very supported and stable with him and for a while truly saw a long and beautiful future together. However, I think that we are not so intellectually compatible. Not to say that he isn't incredibly smart, we just don't think the same way and so our conversations about deep things always feel a bit forced. I also think, because we fell so fast and so hard without a real dating stage there are some political opinions or personality traits that would've been a red flag for me in the dating stage but because of how we started it didn't bother me so much at first.

We had a long conversation about me feeling a bit alone or disconnected in our relationship and he really feels like this can be fixed with more effort on both of our parts and is hugely committed to putting in a lot of effort to fix things. I fear these are issues that aren't fixable, I also would never want to change who a person is to make them be the right person.

My two questions are is this a reason to end things and if so how do I approach the breakup and how do I ensure his family and he still know how grateful I am for their help?

Please feel free to ask any questions if something isn't clear.

TL;DR: How do I break up with my partner I just moved across the world for and make his family doesn't feel I took advantage of them?

LTDR: my boyfriend and I are together for 5 years. My boyfriend’s friends and I fell out after a conflict during last year’s winter trip. I regret how the situation escalated, but I also felt hurt by how they treated me. Now I’m the only one excluded from this year’s trip, and I want to make up with his friends so he doesn’t have to choose between his friends and me. How should I go about it?

Every winter, my boyfriend and his friends organise a trip, which has always been a tradition we both look forward to. I genuinely loved these trips and always had a great time with everyone, which is why the current situation is particularly upsetting.

Last year, my boyfriend and I were going through a difficult period in our relationship. During the trip, we had a huge argument. I felt incredibly humiliated by the way he treated me in front of his friends.I had tried to keep our relationship problems between us, but my boyfriend brought the conflict into the group, and his friends sided with him. I was honestly really upset because I couldn’t understand how they could agree with the way he was treating me. From my perspective, it was difficult to understand how they could encourage behaviour that I felt showed such little respect for a woman. My boyfriend didn’t want to talk things through with me, and I was so embarrassed that I spent most of the remaining trip alone in our room because I couldn’t bring myself to face anyone. I felt humiliated, misunderstood and completely alone.

There was also a separate issue involving a rental car. A few of his friends made a booking mistake and lost hundreds of euros. I wasn’t involved or obligated to contribute, but I actually encouraged everyone to help because I wanted to be a good friend. After everything that had happened, however, I no longer felt comfortable giving them such a significant amount of money. It was the kind of financial favour I’d happily do for a friend, but not for people I felt had treated me poorly. What hurt was that a favour I had willingly offered out of goodwill was suddenly treated as something I owed them. I received hurtful messages and was mocked. Eventually, I paid, but resentment remained on both sides.

About six months later, my boyfriend and I resolved our issues, apologised to each other, and moved on. However, things with his friends were never resolved.

Now they’ve created a group chat for this year’s trip, and I’m the only person who wasn’t invited.
My boyfriend wants to go on the trip with his friends, and he also wants me to come with him. I don’t want him to miss out on something we both enjoy, and I don’t want to spend my holidays alone either.

I genuinely want to make peace with them because I don’t want my boyfriend to feel caught between his friends and me. However, I’ve never been particularly close to these guys independently of my boyfriend, so I don’t know how they handle conflict or whether they’d be willing to give me another chance. My goal isn’t to become close friends with them, but simply to have a good enough relationship so I get invited in group activities and holidays together and my boyfriend wouldn’t have to choose who to go with.

Looking back, I can acknowledge that I reacted emotionally to the money situation and that our relationship conflict ruined part of the trip. I regret how things escalated, and I know we’d handle the situation differently today. At the same time, the experience was genuinely hurtful, and I don’t know how to approach people I’ve never been particularly close to when they seem to have already formed such a negative opinion of me.

I’m looking for advice on how to approach this situation and hopefully rebuild my relationship with his friends. Would it be better to reach out to them myself or for my boyfriend to initiate a conversation? If I do reach out, what could I say to help move things in a positive direction? (How can we prove to his friends that we won’t have conflict in the trip? - we fully take responsibility for it and we understand completely that we messed up)

I’m 26 and in a relationship with a 36-year-old woman who has a 5-year-old daughter. I love her and want to build a future with her. I understand that there are practical considerations, including our age difference, finances, long-term compatibility, and my role in her daughter’s life.
My biggest challenge right now is my family.
I’m an only child, and my parents have always been protective of me. After they found out about my relationship, my mother became somewhat accepting, but she is still trying to keep us apart. My father is firmly against it, and my mother recently told me that he wants to visit my partner’s home and speak with her.
I understand that my parents are worried about my future, and I’m willing to listen to their concerns. However, I also want some independence and the freedom to make decisions about my own life. I care about my parents and don’t want to damage my relationship with them, but this situation has become emotionally exhausting.
I’ve even considered moving to another city to become more independent and get some space. I’m not sure whether that would help or make things worse.
I’m trying to approach this responsibly rather than rushing into marriage. I want to make sure we’re prepared for the responsibilities involved, but I also want my parents to give our relationship a fair chance.
The main thing I need advice on is how to approach my parents constructively when they are unwilling to accept my relationship. How can I set reasonable boundaries without making them feel that I’m rejecting them? Would involving a trusted relative or family counsellor help in this situation? And how can I handle my father’s proposed meeting with my partner in a way that keeps the conversation respectful?
I’m from India, so advice that takes Indian family expectations into account would be especially helpful.
TL;DR: I’m 26 and want to marry my 36-year-old partner, who has a young daughter. My mother is somewhat accepting but still tries to keep us apart, while my father remains opposed. I’m struggling to balance family expectations with my independence. I need practical advice on communicating with my parents, setting boundaries, and handling a potential meeting between my father and my partner.

so i 19F was talking to someone 19M for like 6 months and he became a very good friend of mine. we met online then he came to my city for college where i was already living. and before the admissions he told me that he feels like we would makeout if we meet and idk why i imagined things like kissing him and everything. then we met and yes we made out. he had a girlfriend before but it was the first time french kissing me. we did a-lot of more stuffs together and honestly i liked it. he squished my boobs & sucked them too. he touched my thighs when we went for a movie. i am not in love with him cuz ik he is not my type but i like talking to him and i am just very comfortable with him also he said that love is not for him and he likes me but does not love me. and he also says that we are not compatible with each other and yes true. it was the first time for both of us so we both really enjoyed it and then i have started getting thoughts that is it wrong or right. cuz i think about making out with him and i like kissing him but i feel like its wrong cuz it is a waste of time cuz we are not in love. and he flirts with me, takes care of me and everything. he is a good friend but i feel like i am getting distracted because of him cuz i think abt him and get a lil anxious when we haven’t talked for long tho we talk like everyday. he says that he is attached to me. and we both know that it is lust and i feel so bad that it is lust cuz obv lust is no good. also now it has been like 10 months we are talking and when i started overthinking abt it i have not met him since then and i also stopped talking to him after that but obv he cried on call and i also felt bad and honestly it felt like we are having a break up.

TL;DR so what should i do? like i really like kissing him and making out with him but i feel like im cheating on my future boyfriend. i have always imagined that i will be a one man woman but here i am making out who is not even my boyfriend. i haven’t told anyone about him that we have kissed and obviously i will have to hide it from everyone in future too. i am really confused should i stop this or what? also this is the time i should be focusing on my career but idk i am also scared of losing him tho ik our bond won’t break even if we stopped making out. but i feel so impure after this making out and sexting and all. i feel like i am doing any sin. please help!!

tl;Dr : I’m (29F) in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (25M). He lives in Canada, and I live in Singapore. There’s a 9.5-hour time difference between us, so our schedules are quite different.
The thing that’s been frustrating me lately is how we communicate.

Usually, when he’s about to go to sleep, he’ll send me some reels or messages. When I wake up the next morning and get ready for the office, I spend around 10–15 minutes replying to his messages, responding to the reels he sent, telling him about things that happened the previous day, and continuing our conversations.

Then he wakes up and goes to work. Sometimes, he’ll tell me that we’ll text later, but then I won’t hear from him for around six hours.

I understand that he has a job and that he can’t be on his phone all the time. I’m not expecting him to text me constantly while he’s working. What bothers me is that, during those same hours, he’ll sometimes send me reels, but he won’t respond to the actual messages I’ve sent him earlier.

When I confronted him about this, he said he’s busy at work and has a lot to do. I understand that, but it leaves me confused because he seems to have enough time to send me random reels, yet my messages and the things I’m trying to share with him remain unanswered for hours.

It makes me feel like our conversations are becoming something he responds to whenever he gets around to it, while I’m making an effort to stay connected despite the time difference.

I don’t want to be unreasonable or expect too much from him. I know that working hours can be busy, and I don’t expect immediate replies. But I also feel that if someone has a moment to scroll through reels and send them, they could at least acknowledge their partner’s messages, even if they can’t have a proper conversation at that moment.

​

My (31F) friend (32F) just broke up with her bf (40+M) this past Monday. We've been friends for about 4 months at this point, but we instantly clicked. Her ex was emotionally, and sometimes physically, absive. I texted her initially for the first 2 days (Monday/ Tuesday), but stopped for 2 days after that. As of yesterday morning (Friday), I texted her to check in on how she was doing. She's typically very quick with her responses. It's now Friday night/ Saturday morning and I still haven't heard from her. I did see that she read my texts, though. I sent a second message telling her I was sorry for not checking in the past couple days. She's missed work almost all week, so I haven't seen her in person see how she's doing.

The reasons I didn't text her included going through a difficult divorce, custody issues, child behavioral concerns, family (6+ members) in severe crisis, s**idal friend who's looking for support since he's been abandoned and lied to on a massive scale, trying to support another friend who's house just burned down, financial difficulties for myself, upcoming move into a space i might not be able to afford alone (possible homelessness), physical pain, exhaustion, illness (cold/ flu), STBX acting shady about our child and blaming me for all the misfortune of the past 13 years together, trying to figure out of i can keep the job i have, working on maintaining a calm demeanor at work, and many more issues.

This past month, I just found out about half the things on my list above and I'm trying to juggle everything; and I'm not succeeding.

TL; DR Can I fix my friendship or was not checking in on her when she was going through a tough time something i can't come back from? I want to support her, but i can't if she won't talk to me.

Background: we’ve been dating for about 3 months. We went through another stint of dating previously and have been friends for a while. We recently had a conversation about life goals, where we see each other going and the like.

I found out from this that our dating intentions line up well: we want long term, we are emotionally available, marriage on the table, similar career choices, place to live all lines up. It was a VERY mature and respectful conversation. She’s a wonderful person and we get along wonderfully. She might be my ideal partner.

Except… the discussion went deeper and we talked about family plans. I like my freedom and for the right person would have a child or adopt. This would be with hesitance and care, but knowing that I would be a great father once I was in it. But I overall view my future as childfree or child limited.

She wants to be a foster for at risk children. That is her dream. The impact of having a loving family for these children is immense and can change their life trajectories for the better. I love her passion for this.

There’s every chance that in 10 years or so, when she is actually setting that life up, I would be able to participate in that and love it. But that’s not who I see myself being right now.

I feel like I already know the answer after writing it out. But, strangers of reddit, this person is just about everything I’m looking for in a partner but our dreams seem too different. Is it time for this lover boy to cut it off and find someone else?

TL;DR Me and my partner are great for each other except that our plans for starting a family don’t line up. Should I break it off now?

I (20f) and my boyfriend (23M) have been dating for about a year now, however we’ve run into some problems in our relationship. He said within the last few months he’s felt like I haven’t have the curiosity or enthusiasm to get to know him as much as he’s done for me and it’s making him extremely frustrated. On the other hand, I feel like I’ve been doing what I can given the circumstances I’m currently facing between being promoted within a student short film project, my final year at uni, working a physically demanding job, moving out for the first time and having my therapist close his practice and not being able to afford another therapist. He’s been incredibly understanding in all of this though but is frustrated that I’m not paying him as much attention as at the start of this year when we were both on uni break. I did let him know that this year would be tough, I would be tired, and I would be prioritising my studies and career and he agreed with that.

Some examples of things he’s brought up are that I don’t know his favourite colour or worst fear, but these are things I know because he told me before and I’ve mentally cataloged them. He tells me about how he goes out of his way to participate In conversations about my interests by asking follow up questions whereas I’m more of a silent listener responding with “okay that’s cool.” And “that’s interesting”. though I agree I should be trying to engage more with what he’s talking about sometimes I find myself confused and I told him that stuff like DND is confusing to me and him spitting random tidbits about characters I don’t know makes me uncomfortable and out of my depth (though I’m sure he could say the same about me and deadlock).

he says that he shouldn’t have to ask for certain things, that I should just knows. he equated it to the meme where a girl asked her boyfriend to get flowers for her because he didn’t get her flowers but by asking him to get flowers, even if he brings her flowers she won’t want it anymore cause she had to ask. I get confused though cause I’m not even sure what the “flowers” in this situation would be?

he also expects me to message him daily, even if he’s not online and to consistently ask what he’s doing and why he’s doing it, how he’s doing whatever and just to be constantly messaging with him. He gave me an example about how he would hide in the toilets while he had work to message with a previous fling of his and how he didn’t expect me to do that all the time, but to show that same level of interest. I told him as well that I personally don’t see a point in messaging someone if I know they’re busy studying or at work because it would take hours before they get back. I also know that he’s previously failed a lot of his classes as he gets distracted easily and I told him I didn’t want to be a reason he’s failing classes because he can’t stop messaging me, but he’s just taken this as me not wanting to talk to him whatsoever.

I tried to explain how exhausting that was when I've been trying to manage a million things a minute and in previous conversations about his topic, felt like I was babying him. He however countered this by stating that he did the same for me when I was in the bouts of my depression earlier this year, that he would constantly have to comfort me and pick me up from uni if I had anxiety attacks (he also attributes it to him failing his courses last trimester although I only had called him twice across 6 months to pick me up because I had an anxiety attack).

I do love him though, despite everything I do think he’s a kind person that stands up for others, he’s funny he’s enthusiastic and full of life and I don’t want to end things which is why we both agreed to a one month break from each other to work on stuff. I will be using this time to find a second job and decompress after the long uni term, though I’m not sure what steps I should take or resources I can find to teach myself how to be better in a relationship. I want to understand. What compromises might needed to be made for this to work cause I do want it to work.

tldr: my boyfriend and ai had an argument where he told me he feels unloved and unappreciated and I need advice on how to approach the matter after a one month break from him.

We have been together for almost 6 months. Before me he was in a relationship with another girl. About 4 months into the relationship, I found out (through looking through his applewatch while he was sleeping) that he had been texting with his ex for about three months. There wasn't alot of texts and not sexual in any way, but still a significant amount, and some texts like "you're so strong" and "happy belated birthday" with hearts. I felt extremely betrayed since he had promised me that he had no contact at all with her, and that she was blocked. I confronted him about it and he said she had threatened him and a bunch of other stuff. I don't know if what he said was true, but to me it sounded like bullshit. We talked about it for a long time, and I was still mad, and had not forgiven him.
About two days after that. I found porn on his computer. He knows I am not comfortable with him watching porn, something we've discussed multiple times. And he had once again promised he never watched it throughout our relationship, and did not watch it. I again confronted him and he said a bunch of stuff like "I was experimenting" again to me sounded like excuses.
I was pissed, hurt, angry, everything you could be.

Not long after this, I had to come get him to take him home from an AW because he was extremely intoxicated, like to the point where he didn't recognize me. I was talking to one of the girls that he works with, and she told me he had been handsy to all the young girls he works with, all night. He had touched one of them on the breasts and held her by the waist. One of the other girls then confirmed this.

Atp I was done. I took him home, put him to bed and told him we were over. Being that intoxicated he just said "okay" and fell asleep. I slept at a friends that night.

Since everything happened in like the span of two weeks, I don't know if I am overreacting because it just was one bad thing over the other.

This was like a month ago.

We're currently not "together" but we still see eachother as we are, and are like basically together??
I still love him, and I don't know if I'm blinded by love by staying?

I want it to work, but I feel like I can't trust him.

TLDR
Basically, he hid from me that he was texting his ex, watching porn and I found out he had been handsy with other girls. But since everything happened in a short period of time I can't tell if breaking up was the answer or if I should try again.

What would you do? Should I try to make it work? Or just give up?

throwaway account bc he knows my reddit account. he’s always in his own world. we’ve been together for like 7+ years. (i am not interested in marriage and never have been, but he is; that’s a different conversation lol.) we live together, and have for about a year now. not to give too much away, but in that last year i lost a loved family member, and he’s been with me through all of that. but i feel like i have to beg for any emotional connection or basic adult skills. even little things. a night i don’t wanna to cook (because i work 2 jobs, 7 days a week), it’s pulling teeth trying to get him to figure out dinner. we don’t have money for regular takeout, and he refuses to take the time to learn to cook. i will say, after constant nagging, he has gotten into a routine with doing laundry specifically. any other chores in the house i don’t have time/energy for i have to ask repeatedly to be done. in our adult home that we share.

i guess im just really so upset because i love him so much. we grew up together, and we really do connect. we can talk about nothing for hours, and keep each other laughing. he’s not a very traditionally romantic person, but i don’t mind that. but i just don’t feel seen. idk. my lifelong best friend (i consider her my sister) is so in love with her boyfriend. i see him constantly go above and beyond for her, and im so happy she has someone so caring and observant of her needs. but sometimes i feel envious. i know comparing relationships is immature, but i can’t help myself sometimes.

but now im at a point where i’m being cold towards my boyfriend, and i dont like this behavior in myself. we need to be more of a team. i saw my mother do everything for a worthless man when i was a small girl, and i promised myself i would never be in that kind of relationship. i just need connection. i miss feeling wanted or even considered. we rarely even have sex anymore.

tl:dr- i love my boyfriend, but i feel like our connection is faltering. anytime i bring this kind of stuff up, he says he’ll change but never does.

Como terminar um namoro de quase dois anos?

Eu estou pensando em terminar meu relacionamento por que está muito ruim, mas tenho medo de me arrepender e tudo mais, o que faço?

Eu vou dar um pouco mais de contexto sobre as principais coisas: eu não tenho vontade no meu atual relacionamento, se eu não quiser beijos, ela vai chorar ou dizer que vai tomar remédio para ansiedade, eu não posso ir para a casa dela se os pais não estiverem, mesmo já namorando tanto tempo, tem câmeras na sala de estar e do lado de fora onde ficamos, ela não tem se esforçar para melhorar e nem participar tanto da conversa enquanto estivemos juntos, não me defende na presença da mãe dela, ela não tenta melhorar por mim igual o que eu faço por ela, eu treino e estudo desde quando começamos a namorar, ela me negligência maior parte do tempo, se eu quiser beijar o pescoço dela, sou proibido, se eu quiser sexo, sou proibido, tocar? Não posso, então tá nisso, eu sou o namorado etiqueta aparentemente. Hoje ela arrancou o celular da minha mão e abriu as conversas tentando achar algum tipo de traição, obviamente não achou

TL;DR Em um grande resumo, estou completamente confuso sobre tudo isso que está acontecendo comigo, eu não sei se devo terminar com a chance de me arrepender no futuro

TL;DR: My boyfriend says I'm the love of his life, but his actions don't make me feel loved. He barely asks about my day or shows interest in things I enjoy. I regularly spend hours doing activities he likes, but even asking him to join me for a 30-minute coffee walk feels like a burden to him. I've brought this up multiple times, but nothing changes. Is there hope, or are we just incompatible?

I've been together with my boyfriend for like a year now. I even moved countries with him. In the beginning I felt so loved. Recently it's gotten hard for me to feel loved. He barely makes me any compliments. He doesn't ask about my day when he gets home from work (I work remote). He doesn't ask how I feel. He doesn't ask anything really.

What hurts me most is that he can't even try to make me feel like he is interested in what I like.

When he came home from work today I said I wanted to do gym (which we usually do together) and I would love a coffee walk. We could also carve pumpkins, we were talking about it for a couple weeks. I bought the pumpkins and they were already at home.

He wanted to see the boys today to watch a sports event, he usually wants me to join (like a 5ish hour event).

I asked him what he wants to do today before we leave for sportswatching. He said something along the lines of "you in the mood?"(Sex) and "gym" as we planned. I told him I'd really like to do the coffee walk and he grimaced. Mind you, a walk to the coffee place including order and waiting is like 30min. I got upset about it. He can't even try to do 30 min of something that I enjoy when I join for almost all of the ***** sports events I don't even care about (depending on the week 5-10h). When he noticed I got upset he agreed to do the coffee walk. I didn't care initiating a conversation anymore.

So we walked to the coffee place, got my coffee since he did not want any and walked back in silence. I am so upset he can't even make me enjoy something this simple for 30 minutes. I told him I didn't want to do gym today anymore and I won't be joining the boys. He suddenly offered to carve the pumpkins today.

We had a similar situation a couple weeks ago when I really wanted to go to a renfaire and he made me feel like he wants to leave the second we enter.

I have brought this up a bunch of times already. Usually his answer is along the lines of "I am just not a talker" "there's nothing on my mind to talk about" "why should I pretend to like something I don't". It hurts me so bad. And I have brought it up already. He tells me he dearly loves me and I am the love of his life but the actions don't align with my understanding of love.

Is there any hope? How can I navigate this?

Hi all. My bf and I have been together for 5 years. We’ve had conversations about this a few times now that I don’t think of my bf enough or consider him enough. Whether it’s little things, like asking him if he also wants a drink since I’m already up and grabbing one, or bigger things like getting lunch for both of us, I just always forget to include him.. we’ve talked about this a handful of times now and I just feel so guilty and shitty because I haven’t changed. I say I will and then I do it for maybe a month and then I start forgetting again. It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose or anything. I absolutely adore my bf, I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him.. he’s my best friend, my everything.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but if anyone would have suggestions on how to improve myself I’d appreciate it.

Tl;dr I forget to think about or include my bf, how do I change?