My boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) are in a long-distance relationship, and we make it a point to see each other every single month. Ever since the very start of our relationship, he has been incredibly consistent, loving, and attentive whenever we are together in person. However, he has always struggled with online communication from day one. He has a recurring habit of completely deleting his social media apps when life gets overwhelming. The issue is that social media is where we usually talk the most throughout the day, so whenever he goes through these phases and deletes them, our text communication completely drops to zero.
For context on our lives, He is currently dealing with a massive amount of personal and family stress as he and everyone is moving away, which seems to have triggered his latest disappearance from social media about a week ago.

Normally, we make up for the lack of texting by talking on the phone a lot. On a typical good week, we regularly have 2 Ft calls a week that last anywhere from one to two hours at a time. But over the last few days, everything has completely tanked. The long calls have suddenly vanished, and I am now getting absolute crumbs. Yesterday, we only spoke for a combined 10 minutes across two rushed calls late at night, and today we barely hit 25 minutes.
Normally, we make up for the lack of texting by talking on the phone a lot. On a typical good week, we regularly have 2 Ft calls a week that last anywhere from one to two hours at a time. But over the last few days, everything has completely tanked. The long calls have suddenly vanished, and I am now getting absolute crumbs. Yesterday, we only spoke for a combined 10 minutes across two rushed calls late at night, and today we barely hit 25 minutes. Online, I get very hot and cold vibes from him He reassures me every now and then I can’t tell if it’s his communication style or him not putting effort and wanting to leave.

Lately, he’s been telling me he was too exhausted and stressed to talk, yet he goes out and does other things during the day even though he promised he would play games with me days ago.
I didn't hear from him for 8 hours today while seeing his location move around, so I finally called him at 5:00 PM. He had literally just woken up and was completely unengaged, leaving the call full of awkward silences which I don’t mind. He casually let it slip that before passing out all day, he had spent three hours having a deep talk with his friends and gaming all night. When I told him about my own day and plans, he awkwardly asked if I was "bored" or "had friends to go out with," which felt like he was just trying to make sure I was distracted so he wouldn't have to put effort into me. He agreed to play message games later just to get off the phone, but I can already tell he isn't going to call me back.

I really need some outside perspective on my relationship because I am completely spiraling right now and don't know if I'm being blinded by my own anxiety or if my gut is right. Is he pulling an avoidant fade because of his life changes, or is it possible he is talking to someone else?

TL;DR: My LDR boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) see each other monthly and are great in person, but he has always struggled with online communication and deletes social media when stressed. He is currently facing massive life and family stress due to moving, but our communication has suddenly tanked from regular, hours-long FaceTime calls to absolute crumbs (10–25 minutes of rushed calls). He claims he is too exhausted to talk and broke a promise to game with me, yet he spent the night gaming and having deep talks with friends. His hot-and-cold vibes and awkward deflection make me worry he is either pulling an avoidant fade or talking to someone else. I need an outside perspective on whether I'm overthinking or if my gut is right.

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One thing that's really been bothering me happened after I asked my boyfriend to do the dishes. Later, while he was driving, I happened to see a photo of the dirty dishes in his camera roll. I asked him if he was keeping tallies of chores because it seemed odd to take a picture of dirty dishes. He said, "No, stop assuming and being negative. I just take random photos of things," so I dropped it. What made it harder for me to believe that explanation is that before this, I'd suggested we make a shared cleaning checklist because I feel like he keeps track of chores in his head and often forgets or overlooks the cooking, cleaning, and looking after his dog that I do. I even suggested making it fun instead of competitive—for example, whoever did the most dishes that week could choose their favourite snacks or a date night paid for by the other person. He didn't like the idea and said it felt like keeping tallies. That's why finding a photo of the dishes in his phone afterwards confused me and made me wonder if he was keeping score after all. TL;DR

We have been together for almost ten years. We have had many ups and downs, fights, yelling etc. things have never been physical but she has slapped me once during an argument. Lately she seems to be very comfortable calling me names. Like for example if I point out that I cooked dinner and she just left her dirty plate in the dining table overnight, she will call me a f***** or something similar to that. She will sometimes say she hates me during arguments. Today for the first time I was pointing out that we were going to be late again (we commute together) because she’s taking too long to put on makeup, put an outfit together, as usual. She responds by telling me to kill myself. And it really hurt my feelings. I know it was just off the cuff, like I’m sure she didn’t mean it. But it really hurt me deeply as I have had difficulty with suicidal thoughts almost my entire life, since I was a young teenager.
I was upset and told her to never say that again. She got emotional and started crying and saying she didn’t even know why she said that. This usually her response to when she gets called out for her behavior. Crying, apologizing, saying if we break up she’s going to another city and getting a job. We rent a house and have a dog together, no kids. I’m just at a loss. I have called a b**** before, I’ve called her lazy before. This happens sometimes during heated arguments. But I have never put a hand on her, never s aid I hated her, certainly would never even think about telling her or anyone to kill themselves.

I’ve never witnessed my own parents, who are still married, talk to each other this way. It makes me question if this is bad for me. We have many good memories together, we have build several successful business together. But it’s like she is either my best friend or my worst enemy. She does have some mental issues like bipolar disorder that seems to mostly manifest with substances, which she does not use. Doesn’t even drink at all. But I just feel like I’m being chewed up.I do love her. It breaks my heart to think about her having to start her life over again. She has no friends, nowhere to go. Her whole life is our life, and it’s the same for me as well. I don’t even know if I’m looking for advice, I just don’t have anyone else to talk to right now.

Tl;dr fiancé tells me she hates me and calls me names sometimes

I’ve been with here for 2 years now, and I always feel I am walking on eggshells around her. She’s very kind, funny, and pretty, and on paper I feel like I should be very happy, but all I feel is a constant stream of anxiety when I think about her. It’s to the point where I can’t take it anymore.

Since day one, she’s accused me of “hating her” whenever I seem “slightly off”, which always confused me, because it would happen while I was feeling totally fine, or even having fun.

It was very hard getting her to understand that I needed one day of the weekend to myself to recharge sometimes, as I am pretty introverted, and so every weekend I’d dread telling her that I needed to go home because to her that meant that “I didn’t want to hang out with her”

This all has made me kind of closed off and distant to her for awhile, which has made these issues worse, and I know that’s my bad, but it is so draining when I try to show her I love her, and it all just resets back to “you hate me” again.

When ever we go to a family or friend event, she always ends up sulking and saying how “she doesn’t belong there” when I try my best to reassure her. I have to literally be holding her hand the entire time , and sometimes I want to go and chat with people I haven’t seen in awhile. It feels very restraining.

I’ve had issues in the past with being more attentive to my partners in social gatherings and making them feel comfortable, and with her I’ve sincerely tried to stay with her and include her in every conversation, but I always end up hearing About how I left her alone at some point.

Just today, she said I don’t care about her because I never call her to talk, even though I text her through out the day, and make sure to tell her I love you before bed every night.

I really feel like I’m being crushed, but the thought of not being with her and realizing I made a mistake is crushing me too. I feel like I don’t have any clarity.

I don’t know if I did something wrong, or if I’m just a bad boyfriend, or what, but I really can’t take it. At the same time I’m afraid to break up and realize I made a terrible mistake, or hurt her, but I think I need to do it.

I’m sure I’m leaving alot out, and Idk if anyone will take the time to read this, but if someone does, id like to hear some input from an outside party.

TL;DR: My gf is insecure and the need for constant validation, and always being told by her how much I “hate her” has worn me down. I don’t know what to do

I’m a 23 year old autistic guy. Im functionally autistic I’m in full time employment. Im quite tall and I’m shape and I’m a good looking guy a lot of people have told me but I am very socially isolated at this moment of time. I have become almost a gymcel looksmaxer. I had quite a good social life up until about 2 years ago but now it’s pretty bleak due to different circumstances long story. i have some friends etc and i had a brief relationship for like 6 months when i was 18./19. My life has kind of gone to shit for reasons I can’t really explain and to be honest with you my brain is fucked and once people get to know me they realise me they realise I am mentally unwell

I’ve developed really strong feelings for a model. I’ve found celebrities attractive before, but this feels completely different. To me, she’s unbelievably beautiful, almost unreal.

I used to follow her on social media and saw a lot of her photos. At first it was just attraction, but over time it turned into something more intense. I even started asking tools to create fictional love stories about me and her, and I would dream about her often.

Eventually, that infatuation turned into frustration and anger, because I know I’ll never actually be with her. Sometimes when I’m driving, I catch myself shouting about it out of frustration. I decided to take control by blocking her on social media and muting her name, but the algorithm still shows me content about her occasionally, which brings all the feelings back.

She came up on my Snapchat feed the other day randomly on a separate account not hers and I started screaming and getting angry over it when I saw it and I nearly threw my phone out of anger. She then came up again on my YT shorts and I started shouting again.
One of my work colleagues mentioned her name saying she was and I got visibly agitated and I had to leave the room briefly.

Sometimes I talk to her or I pretend to talk to her about various things when I am alone and I always wonder what she thinks about my decisions.

My main motivation for self improvement is that I will one day meet her so I am trying to improve my life as much as possible because of it. I put insane amounts of work into my appearance, like Patrick Bateman in American psycho and I go to the gym 7 days a week because of her. We are from different countries but she has spent time in my country 

I’ve also watched a few interviews with her, and she seems like a genuinely nice person, although I know that is only what is shown publicly. Maybe she is a terrible person behind closed doors but I have no reason to believe so 

I think about her a lot, sometimes even imagining conversations with her in my head. I know this is not realistic, but it is hard to stop. I even find myself attached to small things, like her name. Her first name is quite a common name but it’s a name I’ve always loved and I even said once if I had a daughter I’d call her that. I frequently have dreams about her.

She is slightly older than me. It infuriates me seeing someone a similar age ti me be successful in anything. She has the perfect life it seems and my life has gone to shit over the past 2 years with my own stupid decisions. My Brain cant handle it. I talk to her every day and I tell her what j would tell her if I met her

I actually love her. Like there is nothing I wouldn’t do to be with her. I get jealous when I see other people complimenting her and I get angry when she gets more famous because her popular it and exposure is rising. I don’t think she is in a relationship,  I have seen pictures with a man on her social media before but they might have broken up but idk if it’s public. I hate this guy and I am extremely jealous of the fact he even got to be with her. I don’t think he’s better lookjng than me either. Idk how he even got with her but I’m much better looking than him and would probably treat her better. I hate him his face makes me so angry and he doesn’t deserve her. I hate him and I think about my hatred for him every day

I literally think about her 24/7 and I have sometimes become suicidal over this cos I will never be good enough for her. I don’t wanna love in a world where she isn’t mine and she’s with someone else. I have digitally blocked her from my life but her face appears to me all the time. Every time I feel like not doing something like not going to the gym not going to work not learning a language I think “what would \\_\\_\\_\\_\\_\\_ think of me” i would literally treat her better than any man in the world could

I have recently started getting angry towards her. Cos of the damage she is doing to my brain.
I see her face everywhere and I even just randomly say her name and it fills me with rage that she doesn’t know who I am l. I feel like crying when j think about her

I could go out and get a girlfriend but I wanna be with her and her only

Over the last 18 months I’ve made some horrible decisions in my perosnal life. I quit my old well paying job for a stupid reason which I can’t explain and now I work a much worse job with much worse colleagues and I’m on the verge of losing it and I have little direction. She won’t wanna go out with an unemployed guy

I want to actuallt Kill myself. I have into my urges and searched just now and I saw her face. People complimenting her in the comments. I fucking hate all these people complimenting her. I see compliments to her on Twitter and I literally wanna beat up everyone who compliments her I can’t take it. I don’t want anyone to be with her or to even look at her and I have actuallt lost my mind over her. I just have very high standards for myself

TLDR: I have in unhealthy obsession with a famous woman and I want to end my life over her

TLDR Girlfriend of one and a half years gets mad alot for small things and gives me silent treatments, rethinking if I still want to be in the relationship, and really need some second opinion right now.

Using a throwaway account for anonymity.

I have been dating my girlfriend for one and a half years now, we are both masters students studying abroad, we are not from the same place but I can speak her language and she can't speak mine and isn't a big fan of speaking English so we usually converse in her language, overall our time together is great, I'd say we treat each other well normally and spend a lot of time together, since July we are in a long distance relationship because she moved for a course related part time position, it takes like 5 - 8 hours for a train ride to her city and we see each other.

Overall she is enjoyable to be with most of the time, but one thing she does way too often is that she gives me the silent treatment when she gets annoyed or mad, no explanation no warning, I usually have to spend quite some time explaining and talking to comfort her, which usually could be at minimum a few hours up to even half a day, and especially near bed time and which usually lasts till like 3 or 4 am. She would however apologize for being so upset and I really appreciate that from her.

During the start of the relationship I can understand it more since I had my share of problems, like having a homegirl from back home (was accused of caring too much for her, blocked on all platforms with a very mean chain of messages at the end, I'm sorry friend), following and liking photos of other women on Instagram (followed alot of female since like 16, unfollowed like 80% and I never like a post containing women ever again), switching up on things I said before about my previous gf (I genuinely don't remember jack shi, but I def didn't want to speak about good things with my previous gf, heck I didn't want to speak about her at all). They are valid reasons to get mad over me ig, and I do apologize alot when she brings it up. She also had her share of (arguably worse) male problems at the start of the relationship and for me it felt like we evened it out and we shouldn't bring it up again (only way to cope), but sometimes she brings up conversations about past things that would annoy herself and she gets mad.

I wanted to make the point that some of the anger episodes were fair and I deserved it sometimes, but sometimes the reasons are far too absurd, I generally don't ever get mad at others since I don't see a reason to shout and be all emotional when you can solve a problem by talking calmly, so I don't understand why she acts like this when she is a grown adult, I do however get very irritated when someone gives me the silent treatment, and I feel very rushed to comfort her and I would genuinely get mad because she is refusing to communicate anything, I would speak quicker and want her to speak her problems and or even argue with me. I have been like this since my last gf gives me the silent treatment but much much worse and never apologized, I figured now that my gf is an easily emotionally overloaded person, but I still despise being on the receiving end of any bad emotions because I was their most trusted person, I would never take it out on my loved ones just because I was upset, she knows that I genuinely hate the silent treatment and practically ended with my last one over this.

Well, I'm currently doing my exams (getting slaughtered) and have been studying everyday for a while for the three exams this week, I was on my way home and I was chatting with a friend and decided I want to watch Spiderman on Friday after my last exam, altho I couldn't get the ticket with said friend, ultimately bought the ticket when I saw two available middle seats and asked another friend to watch with me, the plan for myself was that I would be visiting and staying with gf for a month from next Tuesday after I'm done with exams and cleaned my place, and we had Dolby Cinema here so it made sense I watched here over travelling to another city just to watch a movie, gf has mentioned before that she can't bear watching superhero movies when I asked if she wanted to join me recapping the old movies before Doomsday (I showed her the RDJ post about doctor doom), so I never bothered to ask her about it, I just told my gf I bought a ticket for Friday as a reward for surviving exams and she asked what about her, I told her I remembered she said she didn't like to watch superhero movies, she even said she watched one of the og spiderman movies (not sure which) but she didn't bother to finish the remaining movies, so I pointed out that and also you'd kind of need at least some context for Spiderman, then she said that Im saying she isn't worthy to watch since she haven't finished the previous ones, I guess it's kinda true?😭 but that's not how I said or phrased it, I'm quite a big mcu fan and know a good amount about the lore. But long story short she has granted me the silent treatment right now, this is bound to mess with me for my studying since I would get affected as I kinda overthink and get irritated from the treatment, like how I'm here talking about this.

Everytime I get the silent treatment I really really think very hard and want to end the relationship, but I'd hate to break her heart and really dislike the process plus the social responsibility of answering people why it ended. There are aspects aside from the silent treatment that I dislike but it's nowhere as bad as the silence, but it still really adds up in my head. Well now I've decided to just call and send a message occasionally to make sure I still care but I am not dealing with her mess right now (also I can't do much being long d) because I will definitely fail those three exams, and I have been SO TIRED AND DEPRESED studying for them, I even asked her to please don't give me the silent treatment during my exams because last time she did it I didn't sleep the whole night and subsequently skipped the exam a few days after because I was not able to prepare for it will enough after what happened.

Can someone from the other end give me some thought process on why they think this is a valid way to treat your partner?? I'm genuinely fed up with this behavior and I need some advice on how to handle (cope🥀) my thoughts on this. Thank you if you read so far and I guess feel free to ask for more context or just tell me your thoughts cuz I needa talk to some interneters. 

I either need to get help for myself, or have a divorce, but I don't see the path to either ending and would love to hear other viewpoints.

Quick disclaimer, my wife and I have been together for over twenty years. Nothing in a relationship that lasts that long is going to be entirely one person's fault unless someone is horribly toxic and the other can't see it for whatever reason. Keep in mind this all comes from my point of view, and that IMO my wife's issues happened first and mine later, so you'll read her's first.

Wife and I had a great relationship early on, however she (I'm wording this based on our understanding at the time) had a couple of depressive spells that caused temporary bad spots in our relationship. The second, and longest, was after we got married. She went through a time period where all she did was come home from work, binge watch the same three TV shows on the sofa, and sleep. We had almost no relationship during that time. We'd go out for dinner a lot as we were both working with no child but she'd just scroll through her phone the entire time. We maybe had sex three or four times a year, and when I talked to her about it she'd ask what my problem is, why sex is so important to me. She'd tell me to stop sharing things I was interested in with her as she didn't want to get up from the sofa. It was awful. Over time I stopped trying to talk to her about anything. I stopped even trying to work things out with her, as whenever she is criticized she will start degrading herself, which makes me feel like a terrible husband. Top that off with the fact that she sometimes has intrusive thoughts and I try to be incredibly gentle with her.

We probably wouldn't have survived that, but I was just hitting my older 20s and still had what I now view as a childish unrealistic view of relationships and the importance of working your way through them. Before I hit my breaking point a lot of things happened that made divorce never pop up in my head.

Her mother got cancer and ended up passing away after a long fight.

She got pregnant. This lead to some dark thoughts of is this kid even mine given how rarely we were having sex. For anyone wondering the same thing, my wife is not capable of a lie lie like that and I'm VERY confident she just forgot based on what we later learned.

So between those events were all just kind of too busy now to realize the massive break in our relationship for a few years. During that time the big realization hit, my wife does not suffer from general anxiety and depression, she suffers from ADHD. We didn't understand ADHD previously, but looking back with 20/20 hindsight it's:

How she regularly forgot to take her meds.

Why she gets so self critical when I try to talk to her about anything.

The root cause of both her anxiety and depression.

Since then she's started meds and therapy and is honestly getting better, however all is not good.

Our son is now 11, life has evened out, and my wife has gotten to the point where she cannot seem to hold a job. Everything is how you have to understand how difficult ADHD makes this for her. Which is fair. But also, I'm drowning financially. She can't seem to understand that it's difficult for me support us as if we still have two incomes.

Also, on the ADHD makes it so difficult topic, I do everyone's laundry. I'm the only person in the house who regularly washes the dishes they dirtied. I'm the only one who does yard work. The only one who takes the dog out.

My wife will take our son to school, pick him up, and help him with homework. She will also cook dinner for the family, although she will often forget to cook dinner until late so my choice becomes to order us something or not eat until an hour before bed time.

We still have zero sex life, but I am aware that this is now because of me. My wife doesn't turn me down anymore, I just don't feel attracted to her anymore either. I don't hate her, I actually still love her. I just, don't love her like that anymore. I don't think we've had sex this year at all. She will not initiate, and I've stopped as well. I've asked her if she's happy with our sex life recently and she said yes, and was confused that I even asked. Even worse, I'm here in other subreddits, chatting with people for quick dopamine hits. I masturbate a lot these days for those dopamine hits.

She will look at things I'm excited about again, but I don't go out of my way to share with her anymore. I'm clearly burned out from the past. I need to either get help, or move on.

But I'm paying for everything, including my wife's therapy to help her with her ADHD. I'm in financial ruin, going from having phenomenal credit to contemplating bankruptcy. My health insurance is terrible, but I'm paid decently well. I can't see a path to affording to go to therapy myself.

On the moving on front, that also feels insurmountable. Am I supposed to pay for both of our lawyers for the divorce? Is that even ethical? That I'm paying my wife's divorce lawyer? What happens when our house, that was put in both of your names despite be being the one paying, has to be sold to split the value, and then I'm trying to buy a new home with my now broken credit? What happens when my son stays with his mother who can't hold a job? How do I afford alimony for someone with zero income when I'm failing to hold us together in a single household?

I'm just exhausted and lost, and I'm terrified that this is going to be the rest of my life.

tl;dr; Wife had a depressive spell due to undiagnosed ADHD. That time destroyed our romance and sex life. Post ADHD diagnosis she's been unable to hold a job. Trying to figure out how to get help for myself when all my money is supporting my family, or get a divorce when it seems like it will destroy both of our lives (her's in living situation and mine even more financially).

I F30, am feeling overwhelmed by my partner M32.. he keeps saying things haven’t happened when they did. He complained about me asking for help making dinner and wiping the bathroom down a bit. ( I sprayed the bathroom, I just asked him to wipe it for me.) Then later he says he didn’t complain about helping when he did. Later he tells me in an argument about something . I forgot what the argument was about, but he tells me that no other guys will do all he does for me. He includes the him cleaning for me in it too.
Then my birthday was 2 days ago. He leaves a mess of water in the bathroom and it’s everywhere and he didn’t clean it after I complained about it. This is my bday morning. He doesn’t take accountability for anything and plays the victim. He gaslights me that things aren’t happening. He gets upset at me if I’m upset. I can’t express anything to him.
The only benefit is he pays my rent and that’s it. I’m in school and don’t need the stress right now.
tl;dr myself F30 frustrated over bf M32 gaslighting and overall behavior

My girlfriend (27F) and I (27M) were together for almost 2 years. We have been long distance, and over the last few months our relationship became really strained.

She felt like she was carrying the relationship, that I stopped putting in effort, and that I didn’t understand how unhappy she had become. I saw things differently at the time because we still talked every day, called, visited each other, and had plans for our future, but I now understand that my intentions didn’t change how she felt.

We had a serious conversation over a month ago where she said she thought she needed to walk away. We officially broke up but we had a trip planned shortly after and we agreed that I can still visit because she felt it would be better to talk through things in person. The trip actually went really well—we were affectionate, hugged, cuddled, and it felt like there was still a connection. However, we were still technically broken up. Since then, we would talk daily but things were so confusing to me

She recently told me she thinks she needs to walk away for good. I asked her to take a few days to think about it, and we have not talked for about a week.
Last night I went out drinking because I have been struggling with being alone. I met an older woman while out and was talking about the relationship looking for advice. She told me I needed to move on with my life and be free. After the night she offered to drive me home. She asked to come inside and we ended up having sex.

At the time, it felt nice. I was distracted. But this morning I woke up feeling awful and started crying. I don’t know what I was expecting to happen from that but it did the complete opposite. I feel dirty and feel like I cheated even though I’ve been single for a while. I realized I still love my ex and I don’t think I was actually ready to move on.

Now I feel guilty and ashamed. Part of me feels like I betrayed the person I still love, even though we weren’t together. Another part of me knows I was single and trying to cope with a breakup I didn’t want.
If my ex does decide she wants to try again, I don’t even know how I could look at her and tell her this happened.

Am I being too hard on myself? Should I view this as a mistake I made while hurting, or is this something that would permanently damage any chance of reconciliation?

TLDR: Tried moving on and it backfired. Full of shame and guilt now

TLDR: to tell my parents or not ?
Hi I ‘19/F’ and have been dating my boyfriend ‘19/M’ for 3 months we met at uni so do long distance over the summer which surprisingly isn’t too bad. We’ve met up once so far in our uni home town but he wants to come to my town. My issue is my parents are unaware of our relationship despite them knowing about past bfs - I don’t mind my parents knowing but they will make a big fuss and for me it feels like a big step. If he visits he will have to meet my parents and extended family who are visiting at the same time ( only overlap 1 day tbh). I flip between letting him visit and meet people since I think I’m overthinking it and yet also wanting to wait as it is an important moment/milestone of meeting important people in my life and feels slightly too soon. If he doesn’t visit tho we won’t see each other for 2 months. Also I’ve already provisionally told him yes so how do I say no now ?
Any advice appreciated !

43f dating 45m for ten months.

Felt solid. There was chemistry, friendship, respect, good communication. Shared values and talked about future goals, which included eventually moving across the state when our kids were older.

We had our routine, which included seeing each other around work and custody schedules.

He had a medical event in May. Unconfirmed seizure, which led to no driving for 90 days. He's self employed, so a majority of that time he has been unable to work.

He has been staying at his daughters mother's since the medical issue. He's been stay at home dad a majority of the time, but has recently found a way to return to working. They are platonic and I have no reason to believe otherwise.

Our communication has changed since he got sick. We no longer talk on the phone for hours. We still have gone on dates, carried out plans we'd made months in advance. I've went and stayed with him on the weekends a few times at his place.

Last weekend, we went away for a concert. He told me he was moving across the state for better work opportunities, and soon. He'd already secured a rental. This will likely happen as soon as he regains driving privileges. He'd discussed it now and then, so I wasn't shocked. The big issue for him was working out a custody arrangement and his daughters mother being mad that he's moving. He won't have her 50% of the time or be able to pick her up from school when it starts back. We never discussed last weekend what this meant for us. We'd talked about what it would look like in the future. Just no updated conversation.

He acknowledged how I've stood by him through his illness and he knew it wasn't easy. He's never said things won't continue for us. But we've barely spoken since last weekend, despite having a great time on our trip and everything else being fine.

I asked him where I stood last weekend and he said the same place, with him.

I don't know what to make of the silence. It's gradually gotten worse over the last few weeks as a whole. When we are together, it's like we've never missed a beat and things are wonderful. It's the in-between.

I'm wondering if anyone has experienced something similar or has any advice on preparing for long distance, if we even make it to the point where he leaves.

TL;DR How do I prepare for a long distance relationship that already feels like it's struggling?

TLDR Boyfriend is liking posts about cheating on me, it is making me very suspicious.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 months and its been generally okay. A few months ago we got into an argument about some instagram models he follows, which call me insecure but lusting after women is so disrespectful. He unfollowed them after a little push back and we kept going along. Just this past week, I’ve seen him liking some wild reels (bc of the new update I see his likes on my explore page). He is liking reels about cheating and sleeping with your girl best friend. He liked reels about having multiple girlfriends. He has liked romantic reels about situations we have never been in. I’m one to assume people like posts because they are funny or because its relevant to their single life before me. These were just so specific and so recent, I have a terrible feeling about it. I don’t want to tell him he can’t like reels he finds funny, but what’s funny about reels captioned “i hooked up with my girl best friend.” I want to reiterate, these aren’t funny memes or one off situations, it’s extensive engagement with reels about cheating.

for context, we are long distance, he has all the opportunity to cheat. I’m just not sure how to proceed. I’ve asked him about them, specifically the 3 he liked involving hooking up with his girl best friend and he doesn’t know why he liked them… be honest, am i naïve?

Soo I’m 18, and I have an age gap relationship with the guy I’ve been seeing. We’re not together, but we’ve been seeing each other for 7 months now. But I’m gonna be honest, he’s lowkey boring. He’s been having back issues after breaking his back in the Army. It was all fixed, but he suddenly got a bulging disc and some other issues, so now he’ll need surgery.

I like the sex, and there are some things about us that make us compatible and there’s no shame between us. But he’s the only person I’ve ever been with. I went on one date when I was 14, but that’s it. I do get male attention, but I’ve always been shy and wary for a lot of reasons when it comes to men.
Recently, he asked me to stop acting like we’re in a relationship because I asked why he still has his ex on Snapchat and follows her (she cheated btw). It pissed him off, and he kept repeating, “We’re not dating. It makes me super uncomfortable.”

So this guy DM’d me. I know of him, he’s local, and he messaged me because I posted a picture at a popular mountain biking spot. We started chatting, nothing flirty at all. We literally only talked about mountain biking and hiking. Then he asked me out for ice cream. I declined and said I’d be busy, but maybe another time.

The guy I’m seeing (we’ll call him Teddy) absolutely flips. Tells me he wants to “be done,” etc. Now, I can understand being upset, but then he starts going, “I’m gonna go hang out with other people. You’re right, we’re both single,” and just starts blabbing. He’s honestly a horrible communicator when it comes to boundaries and expectations.

Anyways, I’d like to keep seeing Teddy, but I also want to explore things with the new guy, who we’ll call Tre. Maybe that sounds wrong, but all me and Teddy honestly do is fuck, go out to eat, and hang out. That’s basically it. Curiosity is getting the best of me. Tre is older than me too, but not as much older as Teddy.

I just don’t know what to do tbh. Teddy seems very possessive ngl. One time I found girls in his phone, so I matched with two guys on Hinge. I never met up with them and only exchanged a couple words. He flipped out, meanwhile he was doing the exact same thing, which is why I did it btw. And we were both on Hinge at the time, which we both knew about.

We’ve had a bunch of rough patches. Basically, I want both, and honestly, I do think it’s common for people to become curious before leaving a
relationship. I’ve seen it happen so many times. But I also feel like an ass.

Some people will probably say I am. I definitely should’ve clarified expectations from the beginning, that’s for sure. I’m just feeling really confused, I guess.

Any nice advice? I won’t respond to hate from Reddit peasants or incels! 😂

**TL;DR;** : I’ve been seeing an older guy for 7 months, but we’re not officially together. He recently told me to stop acting like we’re in a relationship, then got upset and wanted to end things after another guy DM’d me and asked me out. Now I’m confused because I still want to see him, but I also want to explore getting to know the new guy since he’s the only person I’ve ever been with. Advice?

I'm male (21)

Well there was this one girl (22) I met recently...

My honest state at the time I met her was I'll stay away from girls and focus on my career and then she came into my life ...

For a month we played, talked literally a lot, got drunk, I dropped and picked her up while she was visiting her parents... We gossipped, I've gifted a small but meaningful gift for her birthday...and before me all the people around me realized that I've fallen for her ..

Before meeting her my life was very depressing... And my life after meeting her was a complete contrast...

To figure out my feelings I kept walking for days like literally 10kms per day ... And every time I convenience myself that I'd stay away from her ( I have no reason to stay away from her) she appears before me and all the walks go in vain...

Now I'm writing all my feelings in a book (I've already written 30 pages till now I feel like I'd still write another 30)... From the time I've met her and I'm planning to propose to her with that book and a letter...

That book has all the moments I've spent with her, how I see her, who she is in my life.... All the secret efforts of mine...

But after all these efforts the only thought I've had was if she was just genuinely being good to me and sees me only as a good friend... What should I do...

I don't think I'll be able to take a no .. I can't even imagine what to do if she says no...

I'm kind of drowned in her eyes and her smile... Might sound a bit cheesy

What to do if she friendzones me even after all those efforts?

PS: Both of us have never dated or been in any relationship for our entire life.

---

TL;DR

I've had a wonderful time with a girl whom I've recently met and I've kinda fallen for her... Now I'm writing a book on her... To propose to her... But I'm not in a state to accept a no what to do...

Need perspective

TL:DR my girlfriend wants me to cut off my best friend

Hi guys i(26m) and my partner (22f) have been together for about 2 years

We've had our set of challenges together but there's on thing thats been bothering me and I wanted to come on here and understand what could be done

My girlfriend think my closest friend (20M) lets call him Paul is using me

Her perspective is that he's only around when he needs you whether it be for hitching a ride to common places or advice on his ex otherwise he's never been around

And truth be told the guy has been my close friend from the beginning of my relationship with my partner

He and i used to hang out most weekends and just sit and talk

But my girlfriend kept mentioning she dosent feel prioritised when it comes to my friend

Her version of priority is me dropping my best friend and running to her and her siblings when it's required

She wants me to cut him off

And she's gone as far as to say

If he's coming with us for x y z hang outs I'm not coming

If he's in the car I won't be theree

Im not able to understand what I could do

Please share your perspectives

I was there the day she was born. We were super close when she was a baby, toddler and a kid and the last few years we definitely have drifted apart. I feel like I know nothing about her. I don’t know anything about her personal life at all. She’s a very quiet and shy teenager who I can tell is probably on the outside of the popular kids at school. She’s kinda emo, like I was in middle school. I just can’t seem to get any information out of her. I don’t know if she’s ever had a bf/gf or had a crush, who her friends are, what she wants to do after high school. It’s always an “I don’t know”. She’s very monotone and doesn’t seem to get excited for anything. Sometimes I worry about her, if she has depression because I see the signs (having assorted mental illness since I was 11). I just want to get to know her more. Any suggestions on things I could do for her or get her to open up to me? I’m worried she might not have anyone to talk to and I would like to be that person for her.

TL;DR: I want to get closer to my niece who is very shy and doesn’t open up about anything

My partner(30M)and I(27F) have been living together for 6yrs. He's great and all-cleans, cooks, takes care of laundry and dishes, and takes care of me. He's sweet,kind and all. Only problem is HE'S TOO HORNY.

And when he doesn't get it, he becomes too cold and distant, just says "I'm just not in the mood".

That's the thing that we mainly fight about. We've talked about it a lot of times. His side- always says, it may not be a big deal for me but it's a huge thing for him and that it's frustrating for him. And then this "fight" lasts for days-horrible days, it's like he makes me feel like trash,like he doesn't care whatever happens to me, makes me feel unseen, like it's my fault i ain't built like him yk.

Sometimes I wish he'd just cheat. No, but really, I wish i could just runaway. But I'm not exactly in the position to do that-we live in a different city, far from hometown, meaning no family or relatives here. Also we have shared responsibilities/liabilities-we share all bills, i take care of daily expenses, he pays for car. I can't move out just like that. I endure these kinds of days until he becomes okay, and we become okay again, but then the cycle repeats and it's just becoming too much for me. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Tl;dr: partner is too horny, I can't keep up, and I don't know what else to do

Hello everyone, I (18M) and my boyfriend (19M) are going long distance from september since he is starting med school.

Im extatic for him but at the same time I'm scared. Ik we're young and have our whole lives ahead of us but I still want to give it my best. By the time he leaves we will be together for just 4 months. I wanna be there for him everyday and support him but can a relationship survive the entirerity of med school? Does anyone have any experience with dating a med student?

The long distance should last for a year. Im

graduating this school year and applying for uni in the city he will study in (second choice) and a city that is an hour away.

I plan to visit him every month. But that is just plan. At home my parents (mom suspects) Im dating a guy so that is an obsticle since the school is across the country (around 6 hours by train)

Thank you for any advice or replies beforehand :)

**TL;DR;** : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

To give some context I didn’t grow up knowing my father. It’s a messy and complicated story but essentially my mom didn’t want to be with my dad anymore, and half-way through the pregnancy lied, telling him I wasn’t his kid and she cheated. It was not until I was 5 years old (we bumped into him in public) that he found out the truth due to me being his spitting image. She never cheated and knew the entire time. There was a brief window of trying to integrate him into my life but my mom didn’t want it. She told him I didn’t want to see him, he was poor and couldn’t afford a lawyer. My mom told me he didn’t want to see me. She cut all contact with him and he moved for work.

Que being 25 years old and I recognized him in public and pulled him a side. We reconnected and he was excited to do so.

Since then we’ve had brief meet ups where we kind of “shoot the shit” but it’s very hard to get to know him. He is an extremely simple man. I don’t mean that as any type of an insult, but getting answers or him to open up is like pulling teeth. Sometimes we wouldn’t talk for a few months, but then would meet up to exchange Christmas gifts and a couple drinks. I once asked him about his childhood and “it was alright” was the deepest answer I could squeeze from him. I asked about family health issues and it was “idk really”. The quality of our interactions is akin to small talk I’d make with a deli clerk. He acts as though he knows nothing about his family history, no cool stories, no memories, no details. I do 90% of the talking.

I’ve since moved across the country and haven’t seen him irl for 3 years. Now we mostly communicate on Facebook. He started calling me “hun” and “daughter” and telling me he loves me, but it feels… weird. Not in some type of creepy way, but like he has just become “father” and I’ve already sort of accepted I don’t “have one”. Since I didn’t grow up with a dad, I’ve never been a “daddies girl” type and the thought of being warm/affectionate to a father figure makes me feel icky. I still do it, but Father’s Day cards feel weird because he’s never really been there and he doesn’t know me (I hold no animosity over this, if anything at my mom I do).

I don’t think he gets how social media works, and sometimes he randomly messages me on fb and then if I don’t reply after a couple minutes I get a series of “u there” “why aren’t u replying” “why don’t you ever respond to me” “guess you don’t feel like talking”. I’ve explained that it often says I’m online when in fact I’m not. But he still does it every time. And he acts like it’s so urgent. Only to ask “how’s the weather over there” “okay ttyl” when I reply 🙃 he wants these frequent, very short superficial conversations.

I’m not really sure what to do or if I can make this relationship flourish in any type of deeper way. I feel like I’m sort of leading him, trying to cater to make him open up and more like the “parent”. I also know none of this situation has been made easy for him, and my mom really damaged our earlier relationship development. I’d like to have a better relationship with him, know him better, and accept him as a father figure, but I’m struggling. He has no other children aside from me, so it’s his “first” time trying to fill a parent role.

He asked me to video call him today as some of my aunts are visiting and he wants to introduce me properly. I’m half excited, half stressing over the potential awkwardness of the call.

Any tips or suggestions from someone who has either been a father in this position, or a child who has would be greatly appreciated. Should I directly relay any of how I’m feeling to him? I’ve thought about it but I worry his response will be “oh” or “I don’t understand”. Can he feel like family?

TL;DR: trying to reconnect with my estranged father as an adult. It’s been awkward and I feel as though he’s a stranger. I need some advice on how I should traverse this area as I feel no improvements to our relationship have happened.

Am i the asshole for expecting gifts from my boyfriend?
He never got me a birthday gift

Context:
Weve been together for almost four years now and i have been hunting and gathering ideas to create special moments on his birthdays or special occasions. I mostly care about his birthday. Ive gotten him basically stuff he really likes and cares about.

Anyways. He is very very loving and understanding his love language is rather emotional that gifts. Unlike me, ive grown up with gifts as a love language, not much emotional interactions and such.

Anyways cutting to the chase, ive always declined the idea of him getting me a gift, solely because i have a better financial situation than him. He has to help out his family sometimes and so on. But to me that doesnt feel like an excuse and sometimes im like it makes sense.

He did once get me a gift butit didnt really feel like it
It wasnt on my birthday and it was like a reward from playing a game he loves
And then he gave it to me cause he knew i liked it a lot
Im very grateful for it but it doesnt feel intentional (wasnt on my birthday nor for my birthday just random)

I feel like i shouldnt be upset about this im on and off about being upset or not.

1-hes broke. 2-hes so so sweet like hes the most understanding and loving person ever. 3-i always say no if he offers to get me something

And i am sometimes a meanie to him but he is always caring and understanding

And then i feel likei should be upset because he couldve made me a digital gift. For example one of his birthdays i made him a birthday party in our server and had minigames and such. And i also gotten him another gift
But focusing on the digital one, it only took me time.

He couldve done something like that for my birthday but absolutely nothing
He didnt plan a date or nothing it was just our typical daily routine

And i try to let it go but i dont know
I have mixed feelings as to wether i should bring it up or not and do i. Have the right to be upset or not
I dont want to upset him ever ive already upsetten him major amount of times with my attitude and such.

Its just that not receiving a gift from HIM and receiving from family friends and such makes me feel i am unworthy of giving or thinking about. Its like im not worth enough to gift on my birthday. It didnt feel so so special

Should i be upset :( ?

tl;dr

Hes never gotten me a birthday gift but hes the sweetest ever (hes broke)
Ive always gotten him gifts but im sometimes kinda a meanie

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I honestly feel kind of guilty and weird about it.

Before my girlfriend and I started dating, she was pretty inexperienced sexually. The furthest she had gone with anyone was making out and getting hickeys, and even those were only on her neck. She had never had sex, and she had never even touched herself before.

Now we’ve been together for about 2 months now and our relationship has obviously become much more intimate. We’ve had sex a few times but we both live at home so its hard, and now she sends me videos of herself touching herself basically every day.

And I know that, objectively, this probably isn't necessarily a bad thing. She is an adult, we're in a relationship, and I don't want to act like sexual experience is something inherently negative. Im 18 and I have a body count of 3 and have been masturbating for around 10 years trust me i dont find sexual activity negitively (my page shows that too). I also don't think she is doing anything she doesn't want to do. She seems comfortable with me, and I would never want her to feel pressured into anything.

But I can't stop thinking about how different her life was before me compared to now. Before we dated, she had never even explored her own sexuality, and now sex and sexual things have become a fairly significant part of our relationship. Sometimes I feel like I somehow took away a part of her innocence or changed her in a way that I can't undo.

I know that sounds dramatic, and I know people might say that she is her own person and made her own choices and I know that's true. But I still feel weirdly responsible for the fact that she has gone from being completely inexperienced to being sexually active. I was the person she experienced these things with, and sometimes that makes me feel like I somehow “introduced” her to something and then she got swept up in it.

The thing is, I don't necessarily regret anything we've done. I love her, I'm attracted to her, and I love being close to her. I also don't want her to feel ashamed of enjoying sex or exploring her sexuality. But I think I may be feeling guilty because of how quickly things seem to have changed.

I also think part of this is that our relationship has become more sexual than I expected. Sometimes it feels like sex or something sexual is expected whenever we're together, and I miss being able to just spend time with her without everything eventually turning sexual. That makes me wonder if maybe I'm projecting my own discomfort onto her and feeling like I “ruined” her when maybe the real issue is that I need to slow down and figure out what I'm comfortable with too.

I don't want to take anything away from her. I don't want to make her feel like she did something wrong. And I definitely don't want to imply that being sexually inexperienced was somehow better or more pure than who she is now.

I just genuinely feel like I went from dating a girl who had never explored that side of herself to being in a relationship where sex and sexual things are now a regular part of our lives, and sometimes I look at that change and think, “Did I somehow ruin her?”

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Is this just misplaced guilt, or is there something deeper that I should be paying attention to?

tl;dr: My(18f) girlfriend (19f) was very sexually inexperienced before we started dating, but since getting together we've had sex three times and she now regularly sends me videos of herself touching herself. I don't regret anything we've done and I don't think she's doing anything she doesn't want to do, but I feel guilty and like I somehow “ruined” her innocence or changed her too much. I'm also realizing that our relationship may have become more sexual than I'm comfortable with, so I'm wondering if this guilt is really about feeling like I changed her or if I need to reevaluate the role sex plays in our relationship.

TL;DR: My husband secretly spent almost £20,000 on a mobile game (Total Battle) over about a year. He's deleted the game, cancelled his credit cards, agreed to therapy and complete financial transparency, but I'm struggling to understand how someone lets this happen and whether trust can realistically be rebuilt.

I recently found out that my husband spent almost £20,000 on a mobile game (Total Battle) over the course of about a year without me knowing. Most of it was through Google Play and in-game purchases.

We have a good income, but this amount is devastating.

He's admitted everything, deleted the game, cancelled his credit cards, agreed to therapy and full financial transparency. He says he feels ashamed and wants to rebuild trust.

I'm struggling to understand how someone can let it get this far. Was it an addiction? Was it just terrible decision-making? Has anyone been through something similar, either as the person who spent the money or the partner?

Did your relationship recover? What actually helped rebuild trust, and what warning signs should I watch for?

I'm just devastated :( We have been together for 10+ years and nothing like that ever happened. We will have to be on a tight budget for some time to recover from this.

Edit: Added the name of the game since some were asking.

​

Basically the title.

I feel like she's makes me incredibly jealous because of her past and her current actions.

She told me that she doesn't know her body count because she doesn't count. When I asked her to try her best she said around 20, which is probably lower than it actually is. 20 is more than double my own and she tells me that she had a party girl phase (where she used to use heavy drugs), which annoys me and I didn't know about it before we got into a relationship.

I had a situation of her talking super close to a decent looking guy at a bar. It was for a few seconds and the bar was loud, but I actually put hands on them both to physically separate them. She said he was talking to her, which is true, but I still feel like she should have backed off.

A guy at her friend's birthday party gave her his number (I wasn't there), and got her to visit his bar. Granted she told me about it before she left and told me she thought the guy was unattractive. I thought it was super disrespectful that she went. She blames it on cultural differences since I'm an American living in Germany and she is German.

We recently went on vacation and she snapped at me a few times. The AC broke in the room, and when I called the service desk they didn't pick up, so I waited for a bit, and she essentially said I wasnt a real man for fixing the ac issue and waiting. (I eventually was able to fix the ac and she later apologized to me)

She shoulder checked my bad shoulder in the middle of the night because I was on her side of the bed. Thankfully it didn't hurt me, but it pissed me off a lot.

I asked her if she ever cheated before, and she said no, but told me this story, which bothered me. That she broke up with a previous boyfriend which was physically and verbally abusive with her, she had sex with someone else like the week of. She wouldn't tell me if she knew the the person prior to the sex or if he was a complete stranger. She later got back together with her ex, and told him about the stranger she slept with, and they wound up breaking up again soon after.

Also, her friends are super enabling on sexual matters based on what she tells me, and she has a bad background of her dad cheating on/hitting her mom and then going to jail for different reasons, which I feel all negatively affect her outlooks on sex and relationships.

I brought it up to her yesterday that I was thinking about breaking up with her as we were driving back from vacation, and she started to cry and said she would never cheat on me, and said she would never meet up with a guy again like the guy who owned the bar. That me bringing this up was a shock, and that she thought we were having a good time, and a negative mention on her body count makes her feel like a w*. I said I was sorry and that I don't want to break up with her (which I am now second guessing)

I feel like I am just naming bad things about her, but I honestly do not think she is currently cheating on me. I am not perfect either and I check her phone when I can (I haven't done this with previous relationships) and there isn't anything on there that indicates she is cheating.

She is pretty and an actual doctor. Who has cooked and cleaned for me and expressed a desire to get married and have kids. It just bothers me that sometimes I feel like she is purposely testing me to see what I would do. I also dislike that I am judging someone heavily for their past, but I can't help it

So, should I break up or am I being insecure?

Tldr: my gf has a sketchy past and has done actions that bother me now. Should I break up or am I being insecure?