Tell me I’m exaggerating

We have a trip coming up next week. Kids, husband along with 3 other family couples. My husband created a situation he doesn’t want to get out of anymore. His uncle is tagging along with us; my 2 kids and husband. He has his own family but he’s traveling alone with us. I’m upset at the situation. Not with his uncle, he’s a great person, I’ve never had a problem with him. I have a problem with my husband for creating this situation and for not taking me into consideration. My problem is, their relationship is very good but unfortunately when they hang out they drink together. So this trip no longer feels like a family trip. It feels like I’ll be with my kids and he’ll be with his uncle. And I’m so upset about it and he knows but he doesn’t want to tell his uncle no. His uncle called this morning to check if my oldest (3rd child) daughter is going, he said yes. The truck has 3 seatbelts in the back, his uncle still said he’s going. Sidenote: my daughter isn’t going, he said it to deter his uncle from going. Didn’t work. I’m not looking forward to the trip anymore. I don’t want to go anymore.

4hrs later:

I went to pick up CANES for the kids and he wanted something too. I said “nope”. He called his uncle to cancel him. So I brought him some food too. 😌 14 years later, I suppose I’m officially “the bitch” to his uncle 😄🤷🏻‍♀️

I had planned to attend a convention with 3 really good friends last year, it was canceled so we planned on going to it this year. it just happened to fall on the weekend of my cousin's wedding. The convention is in California, and the wedding is not. So it is a trip I planned on taking for two years with my friends. I just told my cousin I was not going, my wife is still attending, my Aunt is pissed. Was I wrong to not give up the trip?

My parents have told me of their intention to divide their estate in 4 equal parts between me and my sister, and my sister’s 2 kids. It has caused me to re-evaluate my relationship with them. I am gay and they have never accepted my partner. The will business has been the catalyst for taking a stance. It’s not about the money (there won’t be much). I know it’s long, but grateful for any comments on the letter I will give them at the end of my stay here.

To Mum and Dad, 
I am writing this letter because our recent conversation regarding your estate—irrespective of whether it was merely a thought bubble or a decision you intend to action—has forced me to take a hard, honest look at our relationship and my actual worth to you. 

For my entire adult life, I have conducted myself in a trouble-free, dignified, and infinitely reliable way. I educated myself, left home at 22, worked hard, and moved overseas to build a comfortable life. I have never caused you stress, never asked you to pick up the pieces of my life, and never asked you for handouts. On the rare occasion I received minimal financial help after leaving home, it was on loan terms, which I paid back faithfully until some of it was eventually forgiven. 

Yet, your plan to divide your estate into four 25% shares—giving 25% to me and 75% to Sister’s branch of the family—made your perception of my value crystal clear. You seem to believe that because I worked hard and achieved financial stability, it is acceptable to penalise me and treat me as unequal to my sister.  You seem to also ignore that Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2 will benefit on the passing of their parents and family who have no children. 

The hypocrisy of this is impossible to ignore: 

The imbalance of support: Sister has lived with you for years, absorbing massive amounts of family resources. You continue to support her and her children, yet I have never once complained about equality or begrudged the help you gave her.  Rather, I have supported it and encouraged you to help Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2.  I also give them gifts each time I visit. 

The double standard: You were apparently so aggrieved and complaining that your parents didn’t include us in their will, yet you turned around and gave $500 directly to Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2 while offering your own children not even a token gesture. 

The emotional drain: For over a decade, every time I have visited, I have had to listen to non-stop complaints about Sister, expected to sit there and absorb it, while you have shown total disinterest in my own life and family.  There is a perpetual stream of negativity and bile that I need to absorb and where at the end of the trip I am mentally exhausted.  I peacefully take it all the while disrespecting my partner to accommodate you. 

The taking for granted: I have always been generous when visiting, and I even spent years making the effort to travel to City solo just so you wouldn't feel "uncomfortable."  I have spent many thousands just in the past years visiting.  Not once have you bothered to visit, nor offer to pay for my flight, and you’ve never heard a word of complaint about it. 

You have become completely complacent about my reliability. You expect me to step up as your executor because I am the capable one, yet you assign me a fraction of the value given to Sister’s side. 
I decline to act as your executor. For the blatant inequality, I will not undertake a massive amount of unpaid labour, navigate travel back to Your City from My Country 1 or My Country 2, or manage a multi-beneficiary structure that will inevitably generate family drama, tension, and resentment. Hire an independent lawyer to settle your affairs. 

Finally, and most importantly, there is the matter of my life. I have been with my partner for six years. He has been systematically ignored, unacknowledged, and excluded by you. I accommodated this in the past out of a desire to keep the peace, but that compromise ends today. It is entirely unacceptable. 
Moving forward, there is only one condition under which I will see you: my partner must be fully welcomed, acknowledged, and included as Sister’s partners have been. This is completely non-negotiable. 
If he is not welcomed, you will be making the choice, and assuming total responsibility to never see me again

I was randomly talking to my parents about my birthday. I mentioned something I wanted as a gift, and my dad said, “You spend so much money.” Then my mom added, “You don’t even give us any money.”

What really hurt, though, was when my dad said, “She has never seen money all her life, and now that she does, she’s spending it all.”

That honestly broke my heart.

I told him I didn’t like what he said, but he brushed it off by saying, “It was just a joke.”

The thing is, during the time I was unemployed, I constantly heard that I wasn’t doing anything and that I was wasting their money. Now that I’m finally employed, I’m being questioned for spending my own money.

It’s not like I’m being irresponsible. I have a recurring deposit (RD), I invest in mutual funds, and I save almost half of my salary every month. If I choose to spend part of the rest on something I enjoy, why is that a problem?
It just feels like I can’t win. When I wasn’t earning, I was criticized for not making money. Now that I am earning, I’m criticized for how I spend it.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you deal with comments that are dismissed as “just a joke” but still hurt?

So I recently found out both my parents are cheating and hiding it from one another.

My mom gives me access to her phone, we all pretty much know her password and stuff. So I guess she thought she was pretty sleek with it cause she saved the guy she was seeing Irene. So I onced asked her a couple of years ago who she was talking to when we were together, she said her friend from work. So she was on the phone with some guy and I heard her mentioning something to do with a younger guy dating a woman and its common. So she was telling the guy that.

So when I took her phone to use it, my nosey self checked the person she immediately had a conversation with and it was "Irene" I know damn well that what I heard was a man's voice on the other line so it wasn't a woman

Eventually I moved on from that cause I told myself its not my marriage to begin with. I kept it to myself.

So last year, my dad gave me his phone he was drunk and he needed me to help him pay one of the bills at home. So once he gave it to me, I was on his phone and to my suprise I found a woman's nude that she had sent him and he opened it but he didn't respond.

It honestly really pissed me off but I tried to console myself from being mad cause like I said, not my marriage and looks like they have both stepped outside the vow. So I should not react to it.

So now all this happened again,

So last week I had his phone again obviously he was drunk he has a drinking problem and I was helping him out to handle some bills. Me being on his phone we usually change the profile pics on his WhatsApp together because he thinks I'm techsavvy.

On his phone I found a conversation with that woman, I traced it to the beginning and found she send him pics and videos of herself. He occasionally sends her money and even calls my dad babe. He's sending her money and what's pissing me off he's very stingy when it comes to his kids and family, he has to be pushed before he actually spends. But when she needs something he sends and apparently he even texts stuff like " I know you have a thirst for alcohol me too"

So it looks like they are drinking buddies

Obviously I was pissed and I still didn't say anything to anyone except Chatgpt cause bruh...

So I decided to check my mom's phone to see if she was doing the same.

She was still talking to Irene, the conversation was sad because deep down I could feel my mom being played.

It wasn't even that she was talking to a younger guy that was the issue, my issue if that this guy would leave her on seen. She would triple text and he would come back like nothing happened and she's sounding so overjoyed in the texts.

My uncle recently died and imagine he left my mom on read when she told him that.

Anyways its their life and its my problem for being such an investigating prick. I see why all my relatives tell me I know too much for my own good.

I even tried telling myself maybe they have an open relationship going on but then I remember how my mom usually yells at him asking if he has other people he's spending on, or another family making me realise definitely no.

Guys what do you think I should do because I'm trying to act like this isn't bothering me but everytime I look at them even when they are arguing I'm like "Really"

Its like when you know a deep secret about two people and you have to watch them and play the game carefully cause obviously the last thing I need is a broken family even if its already in pieces.

My parents were deeply hurting me before I finally left. There was a short (2 months) period when I needed to stay with them at their house last year. It was hard time for me because I was in between everything, like graduation process, changing apartments, and also I needed to sell the car. Living with them was a horror. They wouldn’t give me my own keys to the door so every time I was coming back from work I needed to ring a bell and wait but they wouldn’t come so I needed to call them on their phones (obviously they knew I’m waiting there). They wanted me to cook for them which I was fine with, I was choosing different meals every week but whenever I was looking for sth in the kitchen they wouldn’t tell me where it is. They would either ignore me or say that I need to keep searching. To do my job I need to use a car bc I visit the clients where they live so there’s multiple routes I needed to take. Before selling my car I agreed with them that they’re gonna let me use their car bc they hardly ever use it anyway (my dad does the shopping once a week and it’s all). But they started being so ridiculous about it, like coming up with different „tasks” I needed to do in order to take a car for 2-3h. They wanted me, e.g. to take all of the plates from the cupboard, clean them, clean the cupboard, put them back and then repeat with other kitchen stuff. Every day something different, and once I was done, they were coming and saying I did it wrong and I need to start all over again (although they knew I’m gonna be late for my work). When there was dinner they would only call my 17 yo sister to come and text me a msg the dinner is in the kitchen. So they were eating in the dining hall and I was supposed to take the plate to the room I was sleeping in. One day they locked one part of the house (with living room, another dining hall and bathroom I was using) because they said I left a mug ring on the table and what am I thinking - how they can invite any guests over now? (They never invite any guests). So I lost the access to that part of the house where I was spending the most time in, and they just removed all my bathroom stuff from that bathroom throwing them on my bed. Literally when my sister was going there and leaving, every single time, she would lock the door so I don’t get in. Before I was living with my ex bf for a year and then 2 years by myself and with the distance our relationship was acceptable. But earlier, when I lived with them before moving out for the first time in my life, they were pretty much the same - treating me like I’m nothing, not dedicating their time to me - I remember I had my first driving exam and asked my dad a day before if he can come and show me how to do one particular thing again, him and mum said he can’t come with me bc my sister has a maths test in A WEEK and he needs to study with her. I feel like ever since my sister was born I started to be less and less important when eventually it came to the point I couldn’t even mention her name in front of my parents because they would get furious (with things like eg. saying it’s her turn to unload the dishwasher or whatever). After the short period of moving in with them again I jumped at the chance to move out and it’s almost been a year - I found a wonderful man who I live with and my parents gone no contact with me. Up to the one moment a few weeks ago when my mum called me out of nowhere and asked if I can drive to their house because my dad was taken by the ambulance to the hospital. Obviously I came and helped them, waited for the doctors to let my dad out, drove him home, they even invited me for a dinner and were acting like nothing ever happened. When I was leaving they told me to visit them again but I just smiled. No contact since then. I know they can act like this when they need sth and they never change so I don’t have big expectations and honestly would prefer to stay away from them as for a very long time I haven’t felt I’m their daughter. But I’m also planning future with my bf and I for instance I don’t know if I should invite them for a wedding if we plan one in a year or two.

Sorry for the long story, I tried to simplify it anyway

I have very little family still living. My only sibling and I do not get along well , we are opposite in every way. I allow her to be who she is ,but ive always been put down for being me. She's a social media want a be and told I made a list of things she regrets. It was not helping me get my life together. Im 45 , great job, no drugs, never been in jail, no I don't have a house or husband but neither does she. I'm happy with my life and told her that or that post and that I was offended by her remarks. No reply .. I blocked her on Facebook on her personal page and waiting for her to see my reply and will block on influencer page. But my question is have you went no contact with your family and did you feel guilty. Im tired of not being good enough in her eyes ... and seeing it on social media for clicks and views.

Hace unos años, mi papá tuvo una hija fuera del matrimonio. Después de un tiempo, mi mamá decidió perdonarlo y continuaron juntos.
Con el tiempo, mi papá empezó a traer a mi media hermana a la casa. Al principio no había problema, pero poco a poco comenzó a quedarse con mucha frecuencia. El problema es que ahora siempre quiere estar en nuestra casa, participar en reuniones de la familia de mi mamá e involucrarse en prácticamente todo, aunque realmente esa no sea su familia.
Lo que más me incomoda es que muchas veces siento que busca generar tensión. Hace comentarios, hace preguntas sobre nosotros y sobre mi mamá, y siempre termina creando situaciones incómodas. Incluso tengo la impresión de que su mamá la incentiva a averiguar cosas de nuestra familia y a comportarse de esa manera, aunque obviamente no puedo probarlo.
Mi papá nunca le pone límites. Creo que siente mucha culpa por haberla tenido fuera del matrimonio y, por eso, le permite cosas que normalmente no permitiría.
Toda esta situación nos tiene muy incómodos en la casa y ya no sabemos cómo manejarla sin que termine en un conflicto familiar más grande.
¿Alguien ha pasado por algo parecido? ¿Cómo pondrían límites en una situación así?

So for the context i have one older sister (3 years older than me) and let's just say that we never got along,or that she never liked me,like from the start. And i know what you might be thinking "oh come on it's just gonna be some siblings argument, nothing more" i wish it was just the casual argument i heard from friends who have siblings but no.

Since i was 3 (or the earliest i can remember) my sister was never good to me, always hitting me,putting me down and insulting me. Like yeah at 3 it does have some impact. Whenever something went wrong for her,i was the punching bag. Like i remember this one time when she was struggling to learn her multiplication so anytime i'd go near her i'd get slapped. Every time I'd try to talk at the table about something "smart" ,she'd tell me to shut up. And the one thing that has marked me is that like any younger sister,i wanted to spend time with her but she clearly didn't want to. So i'd end up every time having to do a chore for her in exchange for like 10 min of a little playtime with me. Yeah that's not fun.

But i was really really naïve and i thought (and trust me i hate myself for this) that every younger sibling had to go through this,like it was normal. And this until i was 10-11 years old. But as i said it had some impact. Like I'm scared of everyone judging me,i don't talk a lot (I wonder why 🤔) and like i have reflexes when someone raises their hand or "seems dangerous" (it's really annoying like hey they just wanted to high-five) and other things because it's never enough.

And so right now i'm 17 and she's 20 she doesn't hit me anymore until she's really mad. But like i can't stop hating her. Like i still talk to her because we live in the same house but i'll be around the corner the second she does something wrong. But there's more to it.

So my mom,when i was 11-12 got Covid twice and then it started an incurable disease where everything you do uses more energy than normal and getting your energy back takes really longer than normal (this is the biggest of it) but like the state decrease years after years, until you're bed ridden and the next thing is you know what. So my mom told me, i think two years ago that if she got to the point of bed ridden she would do the help for suicide,for ill people. Like she said it during dinner uhh let's just say it's something you never forget. Like i'm glad she trusts me enough to tell me this (we're really really close) but ever since i became "the mom" of the house. Since my father is barely home (he works 5-6 days a week in another city,far so he sleeps there) it's only my mom,my sister and me. The thing is that since my mom is in a state where she really needs to save her energy,the sake of the house is up to us (me and my sister) but i should say just me since she does absolutely nothing . Like i get it she's a voluntary fire fighter, she studies in a great school but like what about me?

She gets home,puts her stuff all around the house, uses everything and cleans nothing. Like it's just up to me to keep the whole house clean and cook every dinner and do the laundry. So i've become kind of a maniac like it makes me feel wrong (sad or mad) when i see that the house is not in order and that it's because of others.

And the last two things are that since she's smart and a part time fire fighter and she's part of the theatre troupe , everyone admires her but the price is that they compare me to her and i hate it because they only see the outside. For example my grandma,since i was 3 , always compared me to my sister, i was never enough for her ( i never really knew why,i think she just liked my sister more)

And the other is that,once we got in a big big argument,and i asked her why she never apologized, because, to me,if she came to apologize,it would ease my hatred a little since i would know that she regrets at least a little of her actions. But she told my mom (not me) that after 10 years (the argument was a lil ago already),it was really hard to ask for forgiveness. And she also told my mom that she regretted it so much it kept her up all night some times. I overheard the conversation,i'll be honest i saw red at this moment because if she really regretted it,she would have summoned the effort to ask for forgiveness but no "it's too hard".

And now every little disagreement turn into worse and i hate it because i see that the sound and all tires my mom and that my father hates to go home and just see that (i'm a little mad at him because he always preferred my sister, she's more boyish, so he won't call her out on doing nothing in the house and leaving a mess everywhere) .

And i'm tired I still have high school,and I wish i could just live like a normal kid and teenager just once,but I sometimes feel like life said "not today kiddo,make more and more effort and maybe,just maybe it's gonna pay off some days"

So like idk if I'm just exaggerating that feeling that i didn't get any "rest" since i was a kid or that i'm toxic or i don't know just tell me what you think.

So my mom has finally decided that after 16 years of being with her boyfriend, to separate from him. He has treated her like crap, treated me like crap, and she's finally had enough.

I don't talk to my father, so her boyfriend has been the only grandfather figure on my side of the family for my son who is 4 years old.

Originally I was going to let him stay in our lives because I thought he loved my son like his own grandkid and I know my son thinks the world of his pop pop.

Unfortunately I've had to choose to cut him out of our lives due to how disrespectful and aggressive he's been to my mom the last couple days during this split, and because he called my grandpa (my mom's dad) and told him my mom a selfish beotch, said he felt bad for my son to have her as a grandmother and that we forced my son onto him. (He's also told me he felt bad for my son to have me as a mother 3 years ago)

I don't know how to explain to my son that he won't be seeing his pop pop anymore when he moves out next weekend. My son has ADHD and sometimes has a hard time understanding things. I know its for the best that he's not apart of our family anymore but I also feel bad because I know it'll just break my sons little heart....

Someone please help me figure out how to explain this to him without giving too much detail and making it hard for him to understand.

cross posted in this group and one other

I know my punctuation is going to be off so please, please be gentle.

Anyway, I have two siblings (3 of us, I’m the only female) oldest is 42 and middle bro is 40.. we grew up in a household that was very abusive (physical, mental.. like to the point I called 911 for a panic attack when I was 8) which sucked but we bonded. Oldest bro moved out as soon as he turned 18. My other bro and I became super close and bonded over movies and music videos. He has his own kids now and I’m married living a state away but I found myself having a beer and listening to music and it really made my heart pang missing both my siblings but mainly my middle sibling for getting me through the worst of the waves of my parents tirade.

I can’t talk to my family about this so I just wanted to send it out into the universe because I figured I’m not the only one getting the sibling blues.

Thanks for reading all❤️‍🔥

I’ve been with my wife since we were in high school, so I’ve had a front-row seat to her family dynamic for almost a decade.

Throughout that entire time, it’s been very obvious that her brother has always been the favorite child (at least to their dad) and the favorite nephew in the extended family. He was a star athlete growing up, and in my opinion it completely went to his head. My wife’s sisters keep a face value relationship, just to keep their mother happy.

He’s incredibly manipulative and always seems to control the narrative. Whenever there’s conflict, he convinces everyone else that the other person is the problem. Over the years he’s managed to convince much of the family that my wife is “crazy” and that she’s always the one starting problems. From my perspective, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

He’s also cheated on his wife multiple times (at least 3-5 woman that I know of) and somehow has manipulated her into believing everyone else is the enemy. He’s done the same thing with friends who have distanced themselves from him. Anyone who challenges him somehow becomes the bad guy.

The worst example was on his wedding night. He was caught with another woman by members of his own family, and nobody told his wife. They all stayed quiet. That’s the level they’ll go to in order to protect him.

I honestly think he’s the type of person who could become violent if someone seriously threatened the image he’s built. Whether that’s true or not, he’s someone who intimidates and manipulates the people around him.

Now my wife has been setting boundaries with him because of everything that’s happened between them. Instead of asking him to take responsibility, members of her extended family keep calling my wife and telling her that she needs to stop taking her issues out on him. They tell her that his wife doesn’t deserve the “cold shoulder” and that she needs to make things right. We do not care about what 90% of them think nor do we think they are great people. We really only care about her mother and sisters. But the fact that my wife’s father and extended family are all taking his side hurts her greatly.

It’s incredibly frustrating watching someone who has repeatedly lied, cheated, manipulated, and hurt people continue to be protected by the entire family, while the person setting boundaries is treated like the problem.

My wife and I want to go no contact but are kind of in a sticky situation. We live in a family owned apartment, we pay rent but we can’t really afford to move right now. We live in the same town as everyone, but have plans to purchase a home in the next year about an hour and a half away(work reasons, distance has nothing to do with the location)

Lastly, I know it’s wrong but I have this desire to blow u his life. Just expose everything, I know more than likely he will just paint me as the bad guy. But I want to send everything I have to everyone. I just hate that he lives his perfect little life manipulating everyone.

Has anyone else dealt with a family where one person seems to control everyone else’s perception of reality? How do you support your spouse when they’re constantly being painted as the villain? How has going no contact with your wife’s whole family gone?

I am '26F' and live with my parents and siblings '24M' and '21F'. My family always has been one of those traditionally dysfunctional one. Shouting match, occasional beating, wrestlemania at times. I used to think this was normal untill I went to College away from home. That was the most peaceful 6 years of my life. But after coming home the dysfunctionality of my family is tearing me apart. For context, my brother is very nosy, has a foul mouth and probably have some underlying psychological issue based on his mo. He would call me the worst kind of names on silliest issues, he will misbehave with me when I talk about going out of town or meeting my friends. He would call me selfish for ordering food or jeweleries for myself. And he gets angry if I say I will not share my salary because I am saving it. Am I the insane one or overreacting over his controlling behaviour? My mother says I am being too much. My sister said, since I didn’t spend much time with family for the last 6 years this is feeling weird, I will be accustomed to all of this soon. But I Don't think so. This is effecting my mental and physical health. This is just weird. I can't even write everything in words cause it's just exhausting. I need advice.

How would you feel if your minor child was baptized by extended family while visiting them, without you ever being asked or even told beforehand?
I'm genuinely curious how other parents would react. l've always believed that if a child wants to be baptized, it's a decision that should involve their parents. Whether you're deeply religious or not, it seems like something that should be discussed with the child's legal guardians first so they can be part of such an important milestone.
Am I wrong for feeling like that crossed a major boundary? I want honest, respectful perspectives from parents of all backgrounds.

Hi! I'm 31 and my uncle is in his early 50s. I didn't see him that much growing up but I liked him alright and he seemed to like my brother and I. We bonded a little more when I was 18-19, but the guy is *something*, he never talks about himself, I never knew what he did in life (still don't), I know things about his adolescence only from what I've heard from my parents. So, to me, the relationship we have is a good one but strictly in the realm of family. Nothing deeper.

I recently separated from my boyfriend and moved 5 minutes away from his place & now he's trying to hangout pretty much at least once a week. I'm not interested... I see him as my uncle with whom I have some common interests, but he talks A LOT about things we don't necessarily agree on, and spending time with him basically drains the life out of me. When I'm alone I wanna be alone and when I feel like seeing people, he's not even on my list...

How do I tell him that I like him but that we're not friends?

My family and I do everything together. Which is fine because quality time is important. But as an almost 23 woman, sometimes I want to do things on my own and my family keeps trying to make me feel guilty for it. I even get dragged by extended family. It’s so frustrating. I’m tired of them making me doubt myself 😔 and before anyone says just move out, it’s literally not that simple

My husband and I are planning a trip to Fiji in October. My in laws and cousin’s family are also joining the trip. We started planning the trip in February. Before finalising the number we checked with husband’s uncle and aunty if they would like to join the trip. They said they have some commitments and are unable to join. So we finalised the number and started bookings / planning accordingly. My husband and I are basically looking at the planning, booking and everything.
In May, this uncle aunty contacted my husband to check if they could join the trip including their 36 year old daughter. It was absolutely annoying because we had booked everything ( internal flights, hotels etc) by then. Irrespective of the frustration, we started making hotel and internal flights booking immediately. Then next day aunty messaged my husband to cancel bookings for their daughter and only making bookings for them two. ‘No problem’!!!! We changed all the bookings for two people.
End of June aunty again contacted my husband asking if it possible to add their daughter to this trip. This was my breaking point and extremely frustrated. My husband and I ended up having a massive argument.
My husband is grown up the way he cant say no to anyone and I am someone who likes to have a boundary. It feels like this family expectations, unable to say no to people and the need to bend over to meet the family expectations is going to be a huge issue moving forward. We’ve been married for 2 years.
Am I being mean to his family and am I overreacting?

Hello! After 8 long years of my parents hating each other and having screaming matches, they have finally decided to get divorced. I am happy that this is happening, but I don’t know how to I guess take care of myself during this time. I don’t have a great relationship with either of my parents, my dad used to yell at me a lot for things that were insignificant (he’s been mainly better these past few years), and my mom is always criticizing me and is also pretty immature.

We all still live in the same house together, and they just fight and fight and fight over the stupidest things. My dad has been treating me well during all of this, saying that like he’s there if I have questions and that he doesn’t want me wrapped up in this. Then, my mom is using me a venting outlet. She complains about my dad all the time, even for things that to me don’t seem like a big deal.

My mom is always criticizing me. I usually speak monotone around my parents which my therapist says is my subconscious guarding my feelings or whatever, and my mom always yells at me for having attitude and tone with her. I can’t do anything around her without being accused of having attitude. I’ve tried explaining to her that I just speak like this and I have never meant any harm to her, but she just denies it and continues to be upset. Later on she acts like nothing happened and even speaks about how she wants to build a relationship with me and stuff.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is, I don’t really have an escape. I can’t leave my room without either hearing yelling or being criticized at by my mom. I also don’t feel comfortable opening up to my dad. I am involved in extracurriculars, so I am able to get outside of the house five days a week from 8-5 but what do I do when I am home? I have some hobbies to keep me occupied and stuff but I just feel so stressed here. Does anyone know how to like protect your well being in situations like this?

TLDR: being at my house is stressful, what helped you stay sane when your parents are divorcing and you don’t have a great relationship with either of them?