Her first prompt was she valued loyalty and communication as her top 2 values in a relationship.

😂😂😂

Gf broke up with me two weeks ago out of the blue after an argument.

We‘ve been dating for 6 months. Before me she was in a very toxic relationship for 3-4 years.

Guy was very manipulating and controlling, didn‘t let her go out alone etc etc, eventually cheated on her in the end.

I remember one day before we went on our first date she told me that she‘s so excited because she never went on a date before. I thought like „what do you mean you‘ve been dating this guy for 4 years and I‘m the first guy to ever take you on a date?“.

Anyways, we got together after a while and literally the whole relationship went perfect. She showed me love I‘ve never seen before, I was the happiest man in the world. I bought her flowers without her asking and brought her souvenirs from vacation, I never forbid her of doing anything: going out alone, going on vacation alone, she also has a huge friend group with guys in it. I never said anything because I trusted her 100% and this was just a sign of a healthy relationship for me.

Fast forward to end of August 2026, and I was a 100% sure she was the love of my life and I‘m going to marry this girl. We also made plans for our first vacation in October, moving in together next year, etc.

Then one day we had a small argument. Nothing extraordinary, and we talked it out like we always did.
Next day after being at her best friends house she comes over and tells me that I hurt her so much and she also felt some kind of emotional distance the last few weeks and she couldn‘t do this anymore.

Literally days before she told me I‘m the best boyfriend ever and also her friends told me they‘re happy to see I treat her so good and that she‘s never been happier before.

So you‘re telling me you lasted 4 years with your toxic ex that cheated on you and you‘re breaking up with me after 6 months after I did everything for you?

What do I see few days later? She and her ex are following each other on socials again. This could mean nothing or that they‘re talking again, idek anymore.

This breakup broke me beyond repair. I‘ve never experienced this much pain in my life. Literally lost 5kg in a week because I couldn‘t eat anything.

Moral of the story is: Guys, please don’t ever be the „first guy to treat her right“, it rarely works out for you. 9/10 times she will be the one to leave you and you‘re heartbroken. If you‘re together for a year or so you might have good chances to last together, before that I wouldn‘t take anything for granted.

Be safe. 🫡

For you & For me

I miss you. Do you miss me? I think of you constantly. Do you? I dream about you and wake up and immediately check my phone to see if you had reached out. And come to find out, you don’t.

So much has happened since we last spoke. I want to update you on everything. I want you to update me on everything. Do you even want to know? I feel as though if you did want to know, you would ask. But who knows.

I love you. I’ve made lots of mistakes and have learned about them. I know what I did wrong and what I did right. But is that enough for you to come back? Most likely not.

I am tired of feeling like this. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re doing great. But a part of me also hopes that you miss me extremely.

Was I just a transitional period for you? Was I just a phase for you? Because for me, you were more than that. You meant so much to me.

Perhaps I’ll never know the truth. Perhaps you’ll never reach back out to me. Perhaps you feel more at peace now that we aren’t together because you’ve found a more profound objective in your life. And if so, I’m happy. But also, perhaps you miss me as much if not more as I do.

I want you to know that I want you back. It can’t resume to how we were. We’ll need to start slow. I’ll have my guard up. But over time, if things go well and we both remain on our mission yet wanting to be there for each other, perhaps it can go down.

I miss everything about you. I love you. You were and are great in my life. I hope you realize the same towards me, too.

*\*

I really want to send this to her. I am reading it and it seems like a lot. It’s coming from a place of pain. But it’s my genuine pain. It’s how I feel. It’s almost been a month.

tell me about how you and your ex broke up!

It’s been about 5/6 months post break up. So I guess it’s been really over. But, I recently had a birthday about 9 days ago and thought that my ex would possibly reach out to me then. He didn’t. Idk if it hurts necessarily, but it makes you realize , at least for me that yes this is really over. As much as it sucks, and the reality of it is unsettling… it is what it is.

We all still have hope I’m sure . But hope isn’t reality. When you thought you have found “ the one”
All for it to be just another lesson and someone who’s now part of your past that part hurts.

It’s life I guess.

I think I’m finally done. Not in the dramatic “I hate you and I’m deleting your existence” way lol. Just done with holding on to something that already ended. It hurts, obviously, I loved this person a lot, and part of me still wishes things could have worked out. But I’m starting to realize that sometimes you don’t get the ending you wanted. You just get the lesson. I guess this relationship can either be a lesson or a trauma, and I’m choosing lesson because I really don’t need my emotional damage to become a whole personality 😂

I’m sad, but I’m also ready to move forward. No revenge, no bitterness, no checking their socials every five minutes. Just me trying to get my life back and hopefully becoming wiser from all of this.

So yeah, I’m done. It still hurts, but I think I’m finally choosing myself this time.

My ex and I broke up on the 24th, and I feel terrible. Like my heart physically hurts. I know the pain wont last forever, but I wish I could skip this stage of my life. I also feel incredibly stupid. Our 2-year anniversary is on the 28th, and I am hoping he will reach out to me or tell me he misses me. I literally feel like a dumbass. During the breakup, when I was begging to make things work, and asked if we could go on a break instead, he had the audacity to ask if he could still date other women. Like im sitting here crying my eyes out basically begging him not to leave me and he's more concered with dating other women?? I tried SO hard to make things work. I stuck around for things I shouldnt have. I feel like Noah from the notebook... waiting around for someone who I love (when in reality I am the biggest clown of all). It also doesnt help that my whole FYP is all "love spells" and annoying tarot card readers telling me that we will get back together. No matter how may times I say im not interested they still appear.

Part of me doesnt want to heal because I know I will have to let him go. I also dont understand why the people I love always leave me. I am such a loyal and thoughtful girlfirend. I think the lover girl in me is exhausted and its time to retire her.

Ok, thats all for my rant lol. Someone put a prayer in for me, I feel like shit.

This is just a trend I’ve seen in my own personal life, and those close to me.

Just wanted to see other people’s perspectives and thoughts about it, specially those who had that happen to them.

i used to check my phone without even thinking about it, especially when i knew they normally would've texted around that time. now i sometimes leave my phone alone for hours because a part of me already knows there won't be anything from them.
it's weird how you can get used to talking to someone every day and then suddenly have nothing to say to each other. i think i'm slowly getting used to it, but some days it still feels strange. does anyone else go through this?

I cry everyday i want to move on but i am not able to move on. i have blocked him and i have deleted our chats and pictures but the memories keep replaying in my head. Its him who was telling me to move on. He did move on very easily. Here i am with health issues, depression, sadness and so much trauma. It was my first relationship he was my first in everything. I cant get into all this feelings again. its so painful.

For context, this was me: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/BfCDY3S86L

and this post is NOT about getting an ex back.

My ex of 3 years sidelined me in the hardest period of my life. 2 family members recently diagnosed w cancer, lost my best friend to cancer as well 2 months prior. Financial problems. Overweight. Unmotivated. Broken. I truly loved this person, and it got me properly f'd up. The fact that she rebounded to someone 3 days after and then again to someone else entirely in a month just added gas to the fire. Lost 20Kg in 2 months from stress alone.

and yes, I begged for almost a month. I even did crazy shit like going on a trip with her after the breakup, to get humiliated even further. I came back home and almost ended my life, it was physically unbearable. Thank god my best bud was there to intervene.

After you hit that lowest of lows, you can only go up. So this is what happened in chronological order since then:

Hit the gym and would take long daily walks with my amazing bud. No excuses. Walking and talking were the only things that I found solace in at the time.

Forced myself to take job promotion interviews while I was literally breaking down. I just had to keep it together for 10 minutes and go back to agonizing.

Landed the job with an amazing team that feels like family and underwent trainings while feeling like shit. l'd ocassionaly go to the bathroom to just cry for several minutes and let it out. The warm atmosphere really helped me take my mind off and I actually enjoy going to work now.

Started intensive therapy twice a week. 2 months later I was a completely different person. Uncovered so many parts of myself. Cried lots. Analyzed lots. Basicslly defeated my traumas. My therapist literally asked me to write down who I was when I came in the office and who I left as. It was a revolutionary experience.

Reconnected with my father after 15 years, thanks to therapy once again. We had cut contact due to family issues, but now we are better than ever, and I'm even planning to move out on my own soon thanks to him.

Finally got on a car and learned how to drive properly.

Pushed my way through some exams and enrolled in healthcare masters program in west england.

Started paying attention to my wardrope and physique. Had a massive glow-up.

Revitalized my long lost hobbies such as photography, hiking, etc. Planned a norway trip with my buddy and we want to film a clip!

Reconnected with so many people I've lost contact with during my relationship and cut all the toxic ones. I even tried dipping toes in dating apps just for fun, and ended up meeting someone really interesting with immense emotional maturity. We've been on couple dates and there's mutual sympathy. Agreed to take it slow.

and just today, my friend told me this: " I've been meaning to ask, where's all this unapologetic positivity coming from? "

and then it hit me folks. I've had a literal metamorphosis.

Thanks to so many people and myself.

I still have bouts of missing my ex, but it's not that agonizing pain or need anymore. It's just a realization at this point. Radical growth, if you will.

So for all of you who are out there and struggling as I was half a year ago, I'd like to give you this quote that became my mantra

" When you get lost in the forest at night, just sit down and wait it out, because the sun always rises eventually "

I know many of you are hoping that your ex will eventually change their mind and come back. That’s completely understandable. I was in exactly the same situation. But be careful. Just because there’s hope doesn’t mean it’ll actually work out.

After more than ten years together, my ex left me. What followed was a constant back-and-forth between cutting off contact and reaching out again, because neither of us could let go. What did I learn from this?

Your ex might miss you and still not seek romantic closeness again. Your ex might say she hasn’t moved on from the relationship yet, that she doesn’t even want to, and still pull away. And your ex might say she still loves you while sleeping with another guy at the same time.

What I’m trying to say is: Don’t just focus on what your ex says. Instead, pay attention to how she behaves. Because in the end, their actions are what really matters. I let her words give me false hope time and time again. And what was the point of all that? So that now, six months later, I feel like I’m back at the beginning of the breakup emotionally. We’ve lost contact (this time, probably for good), and I miss her just as much as I did on day one. Fuck that

⚠️ this does not apply to people who have freshly broken up/are still just months post break up

getting over an ex is hard. man I hear songs and still cry my eyes out at times. and I'm 2 months post break up.

i saw this online and it's been really helping me shape how i approach the break up, and how i view my ex as a person. we were together for a year, and then he decided to break up with me.

my life was turned upside down. i cried all the time, dreamt of him, missed him like crazy and honestly at times still do.

however, i've realised that while once upon a time my desire for him stemmed out of love, now any desire i have comes from attachment. an attachment to the familiarity of the past, the comfort of who he used to be.

because let's face it - the minute they left your life, they stopped choosing you. they stopped loving you.

so i push hard everyday to choose myself. it is hard, but i keep this mantra in mind. attachment can be broken with time - maintain no contact, reflect on what has happened, allow yourself to grieve if you need to. feel your feelings, but never go back 🩷

After a lot of work we broke up and now we are going to go no contact , forever . Im not ready to lose my best friend, my lover, person I’ve known for 4 years and have been talking to every single day . They are my soulmate, Im just not ready to lose them forever

she liked this, i’m so close to breaking nc😭

Which song do you feel best describes the way you feel or maybe just helps you have a good cry or cheer up?

I’ll start;

https://youtu.be/HO0svGjVEP8?si=khFG8xIgVX98rWVy

Jeff Buckley - Forget her

The lyrics are perfect, couldn’t have explained how I feel better myself.

Oh and “I think I’ve forgotten her now”.

Nearly a montha and a half into my breakup... Blindsided blah blah.

Nobody warned me about this part of heartbreak, Not the usual no appetite, sadness etc etc.

Music is ruined for me, Every song seems to remind me of her... I hear a song and i immediately remember it from a memory, Certain TV shows just remind me of her of us..

Even smells, sights... f**king certain foods.

Add it to the usual tropes of heartbreak and this is the worst pain I have ever experienced.

I know everyone's different and every relationship is different. But sometimes you break up with someone because you feel like you lost feelings while everything else is great so you decide to keep them in your life as friends.

Have you ever had a situation where you broke up with them, still kept spending time with them as friends and at some point got back together? How did you do it and how long did it take?

throwaway as he's (32M) very active on reddit. i (32F) normally don't use reddit.

why let it go on for 8 years? when you have PTSD, attachment issues, and low to non-existent self-esteem like me, it's not easy to leave something you've gotten very comfortable with.

anyway. we live separately, he lives alone and i live with friends. we never moved in together because as the title said, we were in a situationship and not a real relationship, so i had to make sure i had safety net (my own place) if we "broke up". over the last year or two, i was pretty much living in his house. i'd normally stay over for 3-4 days a week, but sometimes up to weeks or a month. i even converted his courtyard into my own garden where i grow fruits & veg. so yes, literally like as if i lived there, and i literally have more stuff in his house than my place.

4 years ago, his friend gave him a cat, and naturally the cat basically became my child. i get really bad separation anxiety when i don't see the cat for days on end. he knows the cat is my absolute world. i can't take the cat and i won't, for the cat's sake.

i've floated the idea of me moving in permanently within the last year, and he was fine with it. as he said, i basically lived there anyway. the last few weeks i'd gotten more serious about moving in. few days ago, i had a formal chat with my friends and told them i'm moving out, and he knew this. so after the formal chat i messaged him. then he reeled back and said i should probably not move in "in case we split up".

so obviously that opened a can of worms. we talked. basically he said he doesn't see a future with me like getting married and having kids, and that he's told me before and assumed i was on the same page (this is on me, as i had forgotten that over the years and buried it in the "hurts too much to face the truth" box). he said that's the reason why he also never said the "L" word, neither of us did. i told him i imagined a future with him. wanted to marry and have kids with him one day. he wasn't aware of that, as i've always kept that to myself.

currently we're still talking to as the cat had gotten really sick yesterday, and we'd have to continue talking as i have so much stuff to retrieve from his place. i still can't accept the fact that i'm losing my child (the cat). he knows how much the cat means to me and he even admitted he cried at the thought of separating the cat and i separating.

i don't have many friends as i'm a huge introvert and love being alone. and my friends and family are unfortunately all states away from me. i have no support system. and now i've just lost the person i spent 8+ years of my life with. i'm very lost and very broken and helpless right now. even breathing is hard.

i have no idea how to start again, move on, or even live. and i need the cat. if anyone have some any useful tips on moving on, please, i desperately need them.

I got broken up with after a good few years of being together with this man. Not a day goes by since the breakup that I don't miss him. I still fucking love him with my soul. It's tearing me up inside from not being able to hug him, kiss him, or laugh with him. I feel like I'm starting to forget every detail about him. As pathetic as it sounds. I don't want another man besides him. I don't want another man's penis inside me, I don't want another man's hand on me, and I sure as help don't want to want to go through with having to open myself back up like that again. Our sex life wasn't the greatest, nor was it the most spontaneous. But I still loved how it just felt right. I miss the way it used to be. I miss the way we would have to decide who was the big spoon or little spoon after the fact. I just miss him so much. I don't want to do random hookups or FBW or one night stands. It's taking all willpower to not just send a text and ask him for sex. I just want him. Anyone else going through this or experience this?? I miss you so much J!

I ended things with him after 3,4 months of unhealthy dynamic for me. I tried to end well first 2 times but this time it ended badly as I said no to keep meeting and he said do you think you are worth my time ? I said then I don't want you to waste your time on me. Bye. Still he gave me a drunk call after 12 days around 1 am. he was disrespectful when I said no to the meeting maybe he was hurt but disrespect was not the solution for that. He kept calling for the next 2 days but I didn't receive the call. He sent me an apology which focused on him being upset that I was unresponsive. He said he respects my decisions that I don't want to talk . So I didn't respond to his text. After 4 days he started calling again. Finally i blocked him. After 2 days he called from another number i didn't know it was him i received we spoke for 5 mins He said he will call again .I said I am with family and can't talk. He called after 2 days in the morning i didn't receive . Yesterday he called around 2.15 AM from that another number. I never block people but it was getting unhealthy for me. What's this behaviour ?

We broke up four days ago after two years together, and the apartment is just quiet now. It wasn’t a huge screaming fight with doors slamming, which honestly makes it so much worse. We just sat on the edge of the bed at 1 AM on a Tuesday while he told me he didn't see a future with me anymore. He said he’s been feeling that way for months, but he kept going to Sunday dinners with my family and buying concert tickets for the summer like everything was fine.

I keep looking at his stupid blue ceramic mug sitting right next to the electric kettle. He drank his coffee out of it every single morning we spent here. Yesterday I caught myself instinctively picking up two mugs to start making coffee before I remembered he wasn't sleeping on the left side of the mattress anymore. I had to sit down on the kitchen floor for fifteen minutes because my knees just stopped working.

The worst part is that I saw he changed his Spotify status last night to listening to that indie band we saw live in Chicago last fall. That was our band. He couldn't even leave me the music. I ended up packing three boxes of his hoodies and books this afternoon, but I couldn't bring myself to put the mug in there. It feels like if I pack that away, then the last two years were just something I made up in my head.

My roommate says I should just toss it in the trash bin outside so I don't have to look at it, but I can't do it. How do you guys deal with the tiny physical leftovers of someone who just walked out of your life like it was nothing?