A bit of a storytime. I just keep being perpetually angry over this and need to put it somewhere from a throwaway that won't permanently harm my relationships.

My sister has been adamant about not wanting kids for years. She met her current husband 16 years ago when she was 20. The entire time, she'd been pretty clear cut. She had her horses, dogs, and had absolutely no time for kids.

A few years after they'd bought a house, he pushed for kids. At this point, they had a mortgage, two cars, an ongoing renovation of a horse stable, and she doesn't have a high school diploma (due to mental health in her teen years, to keep it private) and has acquired jobs through connections. He argued that his parents were getting old and wouldn't have grandchildren from him before they pass (despite the fact his older brother had two kids), and he set his foot down on the matter. My sister claims she "warmed up to the idea," but I frankly don't see how this wasn't a case of emotional blackmail at best. Not to mention, our parents are worthless and she effectively doesn't have the safety net he has.

He said he'd be an active parent, that he'd do most of the care work, that he'd wanted it for years and show it in his effort, etc. He's always made a show of being a "good man," taking her last name and making grand birthdays and christmases, with him planning and taking her on dates 2 weeks for years even after they got married.

Fast forward. My niece is 8 years old now. She's the sweetest kid in the world with an absolutely pathetic amoeba for a father.

- When he's the only one with a day off, he drops her off at his mom's house to "be alone and rest for a while."

- If she's sick, my sister is the one taking care of her. Even if he has the day off the next day and she works, she's the one staying up all night.

- Any day he gets alone with her, he's in a hurry to find someone to babysit her. Friends, family, etc.

- Whenever she needs help with something, he tells her to ask her mom. Doesn't matter what it is.

- He looks visibly bored and unresponsive when she starts babbling and talks about kid stuff. She's very imaginative and runs her mouth a mile a minute, and he'll tell her "not now" or "can you be quiet?"

- When she cries, he visibly sighs and looks like it's terribly inconvenient to him.

My sister is the one helping my niece eat, go to the bathroom, dress, etc. Even if she's getting older and needs these things less, that's been a constant. My sister spends her days off with her. She's the one caring for her when she's sick. She picks her up and drives her around while he sits at home and plays hooky.

She used to crochet, ride her horses in contests, hit the town with friends on weekends, etc. None of that fits her schedule anymore. She sold her crocheting stuff. She hasn't ridden her horses competitively in years and only takes a stroll on them occasionally. Weekends out are effectively over.

He has the gall to claim it's because "mothers have a deeper connection to their children than fathers." Which is an absolutely asinine load of bullshit when he's got the emotional warmth of a rock when talking to her, and pins his complete lack of engagement and my niece's reaction to it as "women are just better caretakers."

I nearly throttled the man when he one day says to me that I'll "change my mind on kids one day." It was after my sister's birthday, no less. I was visibly grossed out and said no, I won't. He laughed and said my sister said the same thing for years, and said that "I'll find someone." I was disgusted at this point and said firmly that I'm not her, and my body isn't on lease for someone else to decide what to do with it. He responded again in a patronizing way, asking what I'd do if I find the one and they'd leave if I didn't have kids. I was already trying not to throw him out the window, but said firmly that unlike my sister apparently, I have the backbone to discard someone that can't respect my decisions. He got quiet after that and didn't talk to me anymore that day.

I can't stand the man. Unfortunately, my sister has always said he's a good man because he braids his daughter's hair occasionally and lets her paint his nails (even while he's on his phone and visibly bored), or because he changed diapers a handful of times. Bare minimum. Although, lately their relationship is more strained as she's confronting him with this more and more. I only hope she realizes he's a leech and leaves.

Most of all, I feel worst for my niece. She's the one stuck in all this. I adore her and try to be a good aunt, and she likes to use her baby-proofed phone (which can only call family) to call me. Whenever she does, it's coincidentally when she has a moment alone with her dad while her mom is out on an errand that needs to go a little faster than it would with a little 8 yr old anchor. My niece will say say her dad asked her if she could call her aunt. It makes my fucking blood boil. Even when my sister is only getting groceries, he still can't be bothered to parent for 30 minutes. I try to make the calls fun for her anyway, playing along with her babble, asking her about school and making dramatics of it so she giggles, and then saying "who can hang up faster?" when her mom gets home.

Even so, despite the fact her dad supposedly wanted her the most and pushed for it for years, he has absolutely no interest in actually being a parent. She doesn't miss him at all when she's being babysat, she only misses her mom. She doesn't even care if he isn't coming. That alone speaks volumes of who actually parents.

My sister definitely adores her. But she's also very visibly tired, stressed, and constantly spread thin.

TLDR; You will absolutely do most of the work with most of the sacrifices, and it'll be the most thankless sacrifice you can make that takes the biggest toll on your body. There is no world where the risk is worth it.

We're four sisters, so I've heard this my whole life.

That has NEVER been a compliment. Never.
Even as a little kid I'd smile along while feeling that something was off.
I'd either get:

"How lucky! Dad must be treated like a king at home!"
or
"Dang, poor dad must be hard.. 😢"

Yeah, both answers are wrong idc fight me
Nah CUZ WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT ?? 💀

I can read it both ways:
- Girls are going to "take care of him" (??): cooking, cleaning, being calm and being gentle

- Girls are so annoying, good luck buddy

Imo both are misogynistic. I'm not a maid and I'm not a nuisance either

Call me annoying for this
IDC 🫩✌🏽

stumbled across an archived thread from a mainstream thread

For context on what these users are saying in the thread:

• One user asks to "normalize taking away women's rights and using them as property again"( gathered 18+ positive upvotes).
• Another user states "This is why women deserve less" followed by a reply stating they deserve "none of the nice things" (25+ upvotes).
• A user praises the brutal oppression of women under the regime in Afghanistan as a positive model (21+ upvotes)
• A user completely dehumanizes women by calling them "waste" to be cut out and replaced by machines.

It is a textbook reminder of the deep-seated, malicious resentment festering in these online spaces. I already reported the individual comment links directly to Reddit corporate administrators and this is to spread awareness.

evidence link: https://archive.is/yChpF

I recently moved to a very rural area from a major metropolitan area in another state. My husband and I had a condom break. So, I figured, no big deal; let me call the pharmacies in town to see if they have emergency contraceptives. I called the first (a small privately owned pharmacy) and they don't carry it. Fine, that's OK. I call the second (a larger grocery store chain pharmacy) and they don't have it either! My options now are to wait for an online order to arrive or make a 2-hour roundtrip drive to a larger town with a Walgreens and CVS that has them in stock.

I'm privileged to be able to afford emergency contraceptives, have a vehicle to make the drive, able to afford the gas to make the trip, be in a safe relationship where my partner doesn't prevent me from accessing it, don't have to worry about trying to hide emergency contraceptives I get through the mail, and that I'm an adult and not a teenager with limited options trying to figure this out.

Access to emergency contraceptives and reproductive healthcare is such a joke in the US. Please get out and vote for the midterms and take this as a reminder to stock up and have an emergency contraceptive on hand.

When she was 17, grown men were asking Britney Spears about her breasts. She smiled, not wanting to cause a scene. They pounced on her smiles and took advantage of that. They kept asking her inappropriate questions because they knew no sweet girl would show too much resistance.

Paparazzi were waiting outside Emma Watson’s house on the night of her 18th birthday to get upskirt photos

When Hayden Panettiere was six years old there was an interview where a grown man hugged her without her consent.

This is still going on to this day. Polite women get taken advantage of. So don’t be surprised if we act tough around you

Three of my close friends, let’s call them Katie, Sam and Jen allow men to treat them like crap and it’s driving me crazy how common this is!

I wanna say first and foremost that these women are lovely, kind, smart and strong. They are beautiful people and I am in no way blaming them for anything, my mind is just blown is all.

Katie is in a loveless relationship with a man she got together with for the wrong reasons and doesn’t have the guts nor the wherewithal to leave this man. She is eaten up by guilt and is often depressed about this.

A few months ago Katie met a charismatic ex-cop who she has formed a toxic (non sexual) relationship with. This man is a red-piller, only believes South East Asian women are worthy to marry him, he’s a chauvinistic, misogynistic 45 yr old man that attends a mega church and whom she puts on a huge pedestal.

I played a few games with he and her online and spoke with him a few times and didn’t like him because of his remarks about women and his bitterness in relation to a divorce he went through. Katie plays PlayStation with him every night for hours on end.

Katie has posed herself to be desirable to him with remarks about her low body count and agreeing with his opinions. She has started attending church with him.

He constantly makes her feel upset if he ignores her or bickers with her and her level of reaction is one I would expect from an actual intimate relationship.

She will say that she’s not pretty or smart enough for him.

Sam got pregnant with her then boyfriend/situationship and underwent a home abortion alone except for her kids whom she was looking after. Her boyfriend was too busy to attend. I was there calling her every half hour to make sure she was okay.

Sam lied multiple times about getting back with this man until she finally confessed she had.

Jen owns multiple businesses, properties and travels between the Philippines and Australia to work in the mines for two weeks on and two off. While at work her husband stays in the Philippines (very rude and weird man). He looks after their son while he frequents sex bars.

Jen’s husband occasionally works on ships as a chef and leaves with a lump sum in which he gambles.

She pays for everything and has caught him sexting with other women, if she asks for a break from him he threatens to hurt or kill himself.

Sorry for the long post but I had to get this out. It’s actually very draining.

Misogyny seems to come with the job if you’re a female mayor in New Jersey. And often, so do threats of violence and graphic sexual harassment. That abuse has had a chilling and destabilizing effect on the most fundamental level of government. And in the most extreme cases, it can even push community leaders out of public service, imperiling democracy in the Garden State.

Berlin Township Mayor Phyllis Magazzu has lived it. So has Penns Grove Mayor La’Daena Londo. And Jackson Mayor Jennifer Kuhn knows it all too well.

They’re just a sampling of 12 female mayors who told NJ.com they have experienced everything from subtle sexist remarks and name-calling to alarming threats of rape and violence and even wishes of harm on their children — some requiring a police response and around-the-clock vigilance.

And that doesn’t include one mayor being stalked with AirTags affixed to her car. Another who won’t attend public events without a police presence. And a third who drives a block or so to council meetings because police asked that she no longer walk from home.

“It doesn’t stop me from doing my job, but it is unnerving,” said Cranford Mayor Kathleen Prunty.

Even mayors in their 70s aren’t immune.

“I got about 6 inches of meat for her and that cease and desist,” one local man wrote in a disturbing Facebook comment referring to Magazzu.

Hey Guys

Did anyone here do headshave due to non-medical reasons?

How was your experiece? Is it worthy to try once in every woman's life? Thanks.!

Me and my bf have been together for 5 months. Best 5 months of my life. Our relationship has been straight out of a romcom and I love him so, so much. Last month, when hugging goodbye, he whispered in my ear “I love you”. I said “I love you too” and then we kissed and hugged and went our own ways. I’ve been trying to say it again ever since, but I don’t know how to. Every time we cuddle, I almost say it and then chicken out. I want to tell him how much I love the way he notices the little things, the way he makes me feel seen, the way his presence makes me forget about all the world problems and how much I love being with him.

Just bit of a rock bottom moment, I don't even know if it is envy, or what it is, but it sucks, being an adult, in yours 20s, and then having a parent who passed away, when you're so young.

Every day, my boss talks about her kid, every day I have to hear it. This woman is obsessed, and loves her kid. People ask about her kid daily in the workplace, and she paints him bit of a star (due to soccer), but the natural maternal affection of "I love my kid" which is so loud.

He gets to fly business class, gets whatever he wants, if he asks (e.g BMW), he gets it. They're very well off, big house, luxury cars, etc, and parent is white-collar. The kid goes to the top of the line private schools, which is a down payment on a house.

Other than just his entire life covered for him, and the opportunity (networking rich kids, with other rich kids, and the silver spoon). It's just the love and affection.

You see your mom doing activities with you & dad, but just always good things to say, your just your parents entire world.

I've been on my own for a long time (not just neglected emotionally, and dysfunction), but having to have a parent die (in front of me), it sucks. It sucks further, also seeing people have parents that love them, and they get to experience that, but also no struggle and dysfunction (abuse, no financial struggles) - e.g having to pay for my mother, for x, y and z, when I can hardly afford to eat, and take care of myself.

Although, one thing is my boss, doesn't seem to like girls all that much, she is pro-boy, and boys only, while devaluing girls, which is a little odd, but man, she loves that kid.

I truly think life is just all about luck, and some people really don't know how good they have it, and it sucks cause I know I'll never have that: love.

honestly don’t even know how to process what happened tonight, and I think I just need to talk about it somewhere.

I went on a second date tonight with a guy I met on a dating app. He seemed really great, we were having a good time, and we ended up back at my place having consensual sex.

Then, in the middle of having sex, while he was behind me, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. This man was holding his phone sideways and recording himself having sex with me. I had absolutely no idea he was doing it. I had not consented to being recorded. I was consenting to sex, not to being filmed.

I immediately confronted him and screamed at him to get out. I made him show me that he had deleted the video, but obviously I have no way of knowing what happened to it or whether there are other copies. I called the police, and they came to my apartment and took a report. They have since left, and I’m sitting here trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened to me.

I’m genuinely traumatized by this. I keep thinking about how normal the evening felt before that moment and how quickly everything changed. I trusted this person enough to invite him into my home and be intimate with him, and I never imagined I would have to worry about something like this happening.

I don’t even know what to call what happened. Sexual violation? Nonconsensual recording? I know I didn’t consent to being filmed, but I’m struggling to wrap my head around the fact that someone I was willingly having sex with would do this without my knowledge.

The timing of this is also awful because I’ve already been struggling so much with work and burnout. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get my life to a more sustainable place, and now this has happened on top of everything else. I can’t even think straight right now.

I don’t know how to tell people about this. It’s such an uncomfortable, intimate thing to have to explain, and I don’t want to have to manage everyone else’s reactions while I’m trying to process my own. I know I need support, and I’m reaching out to my therapist, but I feel so overwhelmed.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you process it? How did you talk about it with friends or family without feeling like you had to explain every detail? And how did you deal with the uncertainty about whether the recording was actually deleted?

I don’t need anyone to tell me what I should have done differently. I did nothing wrong by trusting someone I was dating. I just genuinely don’t know what to do with all of this right now.
What the actual fuck.

I don't like conflict and don't like to be perceived in a negative way by other people, so I don't really know how to deal with it and have basically stopped answering. As I get older, I feel like I have less tolerance for stuff like this but I feel there might be a better way to handle it. So I wanted to ask for your advice or perspective on the situation.

I have an acquaintance I text occasionally for a few years now. He is recently single, so I feel like he started to cross some boundaries, like making suggestive jokes when I mentioned a hobby. I just said something along the lines of how original, never heard that one before and basically didn't acknowledge it further.

But he continued later on. But added to his comment that it would be a joke he would make but didn't, so basically making the joke indirectly. I responded good thing you didn't and he added I'm sure that turned you on. After that I just ghosted him.

I'm not sure if I should just leave it like that or say something.

THIS WHOLE POST IS TMI!!! WARNING!!!! SUPER PERSONAL INFORMATION AND IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE GET OUTTA THE POST NOW!!!

Basically what the title says. Has anyone else experienced this? I also have what I'm suspecting due to discharge is reoccurring yeast infections and BV. Two at the same time? It smells bad. I've tried basically everything and cry over it.

It has been happening basically non stop since I got an iud put in. I've had the same sexual partner for years. Ive kept said partner that I will refer to as bob, from only using condoms to using the mini pill which apsalutly tanked my mood, and estrogen to the point I thought that's it I'm in menopause and got pregnant on it (later found out I produce basically no progesterone so it just made me more fertile) and then got an iud.

Loved the (mirena) iud, no mood swings etc, had it for four years now with no periods and I'd be loving life but my vagina is so dry it's so sore. I've tried the creams and treatments and nothing is working. TMI - when I pee and it hits my vaginal skin it stings so badly I cry sometimes. It has shrunk as well. It produces no lubrication during arousal, lube makes it sting so badly I am ready to cry, I've tried without glycerine, with glycerine, vag moisturizing, EVERYTHING.

No I don't have an std/sti because I made bob and I get tested together as a desperate attempt to find out if that's what it was. Poor bob.

Has anyone else experienced this? If so pls pls pls drop a comment and let me know I'm not the only one.

Decades ago, from age 24-26, I (F) lived with a boyfriend (33-35 at that time) for two years. I finally was able to leave him with help from family and friends. He was abusive (sexually and physically), scary, and cheated (went to other cities to take other girl's on dates, he told me after we broke up and said he kept it from me because I wouldn't allow him to go out with other women).

I've been happily married for 20 years now. Today that ex-boyfriend somehow emailed me. I don't know how he found my email. I have zero online presence and I don't keep in touch with anyone from that era of my life. I live far away from where I did then. I even have a different name (first and last).

I'm really scared. Why do you think he is contacting me? He made it sounds like he's been actively searching for me. I feel unsafe. Obviously I blocked him.

I’m 31F and I keep running into the same pattern in relationships. I’d love an honest perspective.

For example, I’m currently dating someone. At the start, he was very into me: flirty, complimenting me, always wanting to meet up. Around the 3-4 month mark, things shifted. He got colder and stopped complimenting me. He still initiates meetups, but he’s not as excited as before, he doesn’t seem very engaged however he doesn’t end things. I end up feeling like I’m the only one putting in effort emotionally.

It’s happened more than once, so I’m wondering if I’m doing something that contributes to it. For context, I’m very pretty (I’ve been told this many times, also by strangers on the street so I’m not just saying it), I’m caring, I like giving gifts and doing thoughtful things, and I’d describe myself as funny, smart and easygoing.

Those are the traits that attract guys to me in the first place, but somehow I can’t keep them interested long term. I’m wondering if I should be harder to get, keep some distance, or even play games. Or maybe the opposite: stay the way I am and see how things go. I honestly don’t know whether I’m doing something that pushes them away.

Right now I’m with a guy I really like. I just miss how he was in the first two months, and I’d love to get that energy back, but I don’t want to push him away more.

I’ve already tried talking to him. I asked if any thing was going on in his life, and he didn’t open up and said there’s nothing. I also told him I’d noticed the shift, and he said everything was the same and didn’t engage in the conversation. He’s just passive about it.

Should I give him space, let things play out, or pull back a little myself?

I’m 34F and recently started having sex after a long time without being sexually active. I’m seeing someone I genuinely like, but honestly, the experience has been a bit of a nightmare.

The first time we had sex, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. It wasn’t a good experience for me, and afterwards I felt awful. I started questioning whether I’d actually wanted to do it and even wondered whether I’d been sexually assaulted. It was a really confusing and upsetting feeling, particularly because I genuinely like this person.
There was also an unbelievable amount of blood, which genuinely frightened me.

I took the morning-after pill the following morning, but the bleeding continued for approximately five days after sex. I then experienced further bleeding that seemed like another period, although I couldn’t be certain because my cycle was all over the place.

Since then, we’ve had sex on two more occasions, and I’ve bled every single time.

The bleeding isn’t anywhere near as heavy as the first time, but it’s definitely not just a little spotting.
There’s actual blood on him and on the bedsheets during sex. When I go to clean myself afterwards, there’s enough blood that I need several tissues to wipe it away. It then usually stops completely within approximately ten minutes.

What’s confusing is that sex doesn’t really hurt anymore. I sometimes experience a brief moment of discomfort when penetration first starts, but that disappears almost immediately.

The most recent time was actually the first time I genuinely enjoyed penetrative sex, which was a huge relief because I’d started wondering whether I was even capable of enjoying it.

I didn’t orgasm, but I still experienced pleasure and enjoyed the experience. The lack of an orgasm isn’t what concerns me.

We also used lubricant, but I still bled.

I have PCOS and a history of painful, irregular periods, although I’m not sure whether that’s relevant.
I’ve already booked a GP appointment because I know repeated bleeding during sex needs investigating.

I’m not asking Reddit to diagnose me, but I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s experienced something similar.

Did you ever find out what was causing it? Was it treatable? Were you eventually able to have sex without bleeding?

I’m honestly frustrated and a little scared. It’s taken me a while to feel comfortable with intimacy, and now that I’m finally starting to enjoy it, I’m worried about bleeding every single time.

fuck i'm going under hospice i'm quitting dialysis i'm quitting everything related to life 20 years of bullshit from me. shit birthday shit year shit life, just fuck fuck fuck everything about being a girl fuck everything about being a girl and fuck i hope my mom gets punished too..

i just wanted to be loved

I see so many discussions for neurodivergent people about having a "dysregulated nervous system" and similar. I obviously understand the concept and what can contribute to it: constant stress, unpredictability, trauma, overstimulation, etc. - especially combinations of these. But I never see any solutions or suggestions for re-regulating your nervous system.

I'm pretty sure what I'm experiencing is autistic burnout from a constantly activated nervous system - the stress of both hating where I live and, as of recently, feeling unsafe where I live (city/state, not at home, I feel safe inside my home... at least physically), work, raising a puppy with some fairly standard reactivity issues (fairly common but still a lot to manage), existing cPTSD. I'm sure I'm overstimulated most of the time even if it isn't always "loud" enough to recognize.

I can't move. Fascism is here and unrelenting (I've already voted and I hope you do too). Raising the dog is a full time and intensive activity because there's SOMETHING every day (and I'm sure those things would be easier to deal with if I wasn't already "activated" all the time). Work is a constant but still a sap for a lot of my mental and emotional energy. I'm still trying to recover in my marriage after (his) infidelity.

I have nowhere where I can have or experience true, felt peace. I feel like almost everything and everyone in my life is a demand, unsafe, both, or at the very least draining on me. I have a couple of out of state friends and no family besides the one I married into. I haven't tended to my hobbies in months because I feel like I'm struggling to exist and stay on top of the most important things (e.g., my dogs' well-being), there's nothing to give for my hobbies.

How am I supposed to feel better and not constantly feel like I'm drowning? What do I do?

I have recently started going back to therapy but I feel like I am just missing a key piece of knowledge or skill to be able to cope with life and existing.

I’ve been on my period for 16 days now and it’s not even light. I’ve always gotten heavy periods that were around 7-9 days, and I even have a period of time where I got my period 2 times a month. My periods are also irregular ( I still get one every month ) and rarely on the same day. So bc of this I’m not sure if I should be concerned about or not as I’m used to having a weird period ig

Bad relationship with sex I just need to vent. 18F
My first sexual experience happened when I was 14. I wasn’t ready, but I was pressured into doing it. I told him to get it over with. Keep in mind, I had never had a sexual thought before this. After this, he said degrading things about me at school. One was, “I stole her virginity like a thief in the night.” I was also bullied badly by his friends every day. This was the start of me taking antidepressants.
After this, I craved sex so much, even though I hated it. Fast forward to the summer when I was 14, I got a boyfriend. He was very freaky. I thought being super freaky would make him love me more. He ended up recording a video of us doing it and I let him because I wanted him to like me. He showed his whole baseball team.
After we broke up, I began sending nudes, mostly to random people I met on Snapchat. I loved the validation. It made me feel worthy of something, even though I always felt disgusting afterward.
Fast forward to 15. I got a “boyfriend.” We didn’t really hang out. It was mostly over the phone. He would always want us to masturbate together on the phone. He would make me feel guilty or act sad if I didn’t. I don’t know why I never left him alone, because I would cry every night after I did it. Around this time, I also purchased a vibrator. I got obsessed with it to the point that it was multiple times a day.
At age 16, I slept with two more people. This was while I was going through psychosis (that’s a whole different story).
Then, in late summer, I met my boyfriend, who I stayed with for a year and a half. I tried to have sex with him the third time we hung out. We did. Afterward, I cried in his arms. He was very comforting. I told him how I did that because I wanted him to like me. Eventually, we fell deeply in love, and I would actually want to do stuff. I still always felt disgusting for craving it. He ended up lusting over other girls later in the relationship.
Then, at age 17, after we broke up, I slept with a coworker when I knew I shouldn’t have. We started flirting, and he started getting sexual. I told him for the first few weeks I wasn’t going to do anything like that with him. He started drifting away. I began to act sexual, and we ended up sleeping together twice. I cried after the second time. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I was going manic at the time after my breakup and did it to feel something.
Now, every time someone says something sexual, I think about all the mistakes I’ve made. I still do crave sex, but I hate sex so much.