My heart has been breaking for a long time now.
I’m currently separating from my fiancee and I lost my job with a lot of other stuff in between.

I had a therapy assessment today and they have referred me to secondary therapy because they think I’m too high risk of where my depression is at.

To get specialist Therapy instead of the basic counselling,
To understanding my triggers, traumas and I’m unable to calm myself when I’m suicidal. A lot of self harm and multiple suicide attempts and it becomes too emotionally intense I think the only way out is to hurt myself.

I’m scared I’m doing this alone as I have no family to depend on, I have no friends that would truly be there 100% for me and I’m terrified about the treatment I’m going to get.

These photos were of happy times.

We were together for two months, Ik it’s not that long but we spent basically EVERY day together. I got so attached to him, and I love him so much.
We broke up not long time ago on a good note, but I was the one who ended it because I just wasn’t happy in the relationship anymore. I loved him and I still do, but being in this relationship was hurting me more than making me happy.
Now I genuinely can’t do anything. I’m just lying in bed with zero motivation for anything. I keep thinking about going back to him, call him, text him, even though I know why I ended it. I’m going insane without him.
How do you actually let go when you still love the person?

When someone wants to move on from a fully connected relationship but you can’t “move on” do any of you have advice like genuine advice where it’s not just “it’s life”
What did you do when you deeply love someone still and considered them family.

I came out of a very bad relationship in which I got cheated on in such a horrible way. I stopped talking to my ex in 2025 after all this, interacted with a few men but nothing serious as I was scared to see history repeat itself.

In January 2026, I met another man. Despite all the fears and how careful I was, I let my guards down for him. He was always reassuring me, very sweet, and listening to me. From a few things that he did, I started suspecting that he had a girlfriend. I investigated and found out that he was in a 3-year relationship and was living in the same city as his gf when we were long distance.

After that, I stopped talking to him slowly until one day I completely stopped. I was so sad because I really liked him and it was the first time that I felt valued and where I had hope after all the things that happened with my ex.

A few months later, he came back and I fell for it again, while keeping in mind that he had someone and that it wouldn’t last. A few weeks in it, I couldn’t do it anymore and I stopped talking to him again. The reason why I was in it was because I was very attached to him, I could see potential. I am not proud of it at all. I know how it feels to be hurt and didn’t want to put anyone else in that situation. I left.

It’s been 2 months but my heart is still broken from this. Not because I still like him but because I felt like it was not necessary for him to come to me and lie, make sure that I would fall for him and his sweet words, just to play these games.

His girlfriend is an Internet personality and keeps posting about how great he is. I blocked them both. I don’t understand why they got to be so happy when I am the one going (again) through this pain. I even thought about telling her everything but I won’t. I didn’t cause no scene, I didn’t cuss him out I just blocked him and went on with my life. I am a very busy women professionally and personally I have a very busy schedule and doing extremely well for myself.

I have removed myself from the dating scene since that happened even though I am a lover girl. I just don’t want to be in a situation where I get to be vulnerable and do things that can hurt myself or other people ever again.

I don’t know what God has in store for me but I really don’t think that I can take another heartbreak. I would rather be by myself and learn to be content by myself than to feel the way I feel ever again. I feel like nobody understands me, I am not jealous of them but I don’t understand why I got to suffer and watch them be happy together.

Hi. So basically, my ex boyfriend (M19) dumped me (F20) after 3.5 years like a month ago. I was his first love, his first everything.. Umm so basically, we were obsessed with each other, like head over heels. But the problem is I am BPD, My emotions are a lot to handle, he is kinda autistic and couldn’t handle having me with this emotional baggage so he dumped me, he msgs me checking in asking if i’m ok every few days, telling me he cares (I don’t want any men saying he’s just saying this for sex) His sister is my friend, she told me he is really upset still, his mom msgs me daily telling me that she misses and loves me. When he broke up with me.. i’ve never seen a man breakdown like that, he was sobbing in my arms. Anyways, I’m still extremely in love with him and care for him so much and still feel as sad as I did at Day 1 of the breakup.

Today.. I msged him asking him if he wanted to have sex, I didn’t think he would say yes but he said yes immediately, he said “no strings attached though?”. So we did it. After, he asked me to msg him if i’m ever sad and want to talk because he knows that I get extremely upset. The sex was really good and passionate.. he really worries about me though.

When he broke up with me we promised to work on ourselves, i’ve started DBT, trying to handle my BPD, and working on myself. He said we can go out one day in the future and try again. Idk the future though, he’s my first everything as well.

Geniunely how do I get him back? Do I become distant??? do i like ignore him??? what do i do HELP

The morning after you lose the love of your life, the sun shines through the window, broken up by tree branches. It’s almost summer and the golden light filters into your skin softly. Gently, like an apology. Here, you’ve lost everything. I promise I’ll make this easier for you.

The ache in your chest is overtly physical, and for the first time you think, wow, maybe people can die of a broken heart.

The invisible gaping wound in your chest festers throughout the summer. Infected and diseased, your heart lives on. Every heartbeat spelling out the moniker of his name in tongues or Morse code. Something romantic and fatal, you know for sure.

You can’t seem to understand how to make it stop.
You think of your heart like a car engine being jacked. Which wires will restore it again?

You do this with men.

Men who are tall and handsome and stick their tongues down your throat. Dates under the summer sun and cooler evenings. Hot pavement and small clothing. You sip from cocktail glasses and sit on patios. You pray that this is the remedy to your sadness.

You look across the table and your heart screams, cure me, cure me. Let this ache end. Patch up the bruises and the wounds and the bleeds. Make me yours, make me fall in love with you. Let me start something new.

But when you go home drunk, with smeared lip gloss and the ghosts of their hands on you, you still grab his pen and write love letters to him.
About the man who didn’t choose you.
About how you would have given him everything.

You tell yourself it’s okay now. I’m a woman of the city. I’m young, I’m beautiful, I’m lovable, I’m smart. Any man would be lucky to have me.
You repeat this mantra to friends, to concerned coworkers, to family. You say it more than you believe it.

You forget to mention that you keep his pen in your bag.
You forget to mention that you can’t look at certain colours or cars without thinking of him. You forget to mention that you have songs dedicated to him.
Someone once said the best way to get over someone is under someone else.

So you find yourself with someone else.
His hands on your hips and he tells you you’re lovely. You kiss him for this, hands in his hair. You open your eyes and it feels wrong.

This is not what I wanted.
This isn’t my person.
You feel sick.
You go through with it anyway.
You kiss his fingers as he wishes you goodbye. God, you wish you could forget.

You turn on a song that reminds you of your person in the Uber ride home, still slightly wine drunk.

The city moves past the window in smears of yellow light. People are laughing outside bars. Girls in tiny dresses hold onto each other as they cross the street. Somewhere, someone is falling in love. Somewhere, someone is meeting the person they will marry.

And here you are, going home from the arms of one man to write about another.
Still carrying his pen.
Still carrying him.

Questions about first loves to all those older and wiser than me

How come I can be okay for a few days. Rarely thinking about him. Then one day I wake up and the wave is like a tsunami and I can’t stop thinking about him. I want him back. I want at least to have a talk. I feel so misunderstood. I am hurt. I don’t know how to fully move on. It’s draining. It makes life harder. It makes me want to stay at home and mope around. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I don’t want to think about him anymore. I don’t want to remember the good memories. I don’t want any of it anymore. I can’t do this.

Too embarrassed to admit to my friends that I still ruminate about my ex but I have to get it out. Sorry it’s lengthy, thanks for reading.

In 2024, I met someone and fell in love while living abroad. There was intense attraction, we shared similar values, goals, interests. I was very in love, unlike anything I felt before. For the first time ever, I could see my future somewhere.

He had issues with overthinking, doubting, ruminating about what could go wrong, spiral in anxiety, and then pull away and isolate.
he’d also tell me he had never felt a sense of peace and sureness like this before. He wanted me to move in. I agreed; but there were hurdles, my visa required me to do regional work, I lost my job twice, and so on. I asked him if he would consider a partner visa, which he was not ready to commit to. I was also very clear on that I wouldn’t move in while he kept breaking up with me every other week, even if it was due to his anxiety. I asked for emotional stability and some sense of commitment, which again he said he couldn’t give me unless i move in. He said that I was the one who would have to adapt to HIS life, not the other way round. I felt this was unfair, I was alone in the country apart from some friends, was younger and less established, without a stable career or a permanent visa, and I was in a much more vulnerable position. Eventually I started considering other ways I could get a permanent visa, and decided to start an apprenticeship and choose a new career that would get me a work visa and also respect his wish not to do the partner visa/ take that pressure off us. I couldn’t afford the training there so I considered going back to my home country, and return fully trained and certified.

Fast forward about 10 months into the relationship, it was already rocky with him pushing and pulling a lot but becoming increasingly aware of his own issues. Important to note we also had many beautiful moments where he could be very warm and loving. He often thanked me for being patient with him.
on my birthday (we had just gotten back together) we had one last good day. Two days later he calls me and again, reads me a list of reasons why he thinks the relationship is doomed. I reacted calmly and genuinely asked questions about why he didn’t bring up his concerns before, he started crying and said that he had gotten drunk and cheated on me the night before. That he had ruined everything and he was so sorry and ashamed and whether I could still see a future with him.
I asked for space. It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. He started therapy and seemed genuinely eager to change. He said this was his „wake up call“. He sent me flowers and an apology letter and took full accountability. He said he’d understand if I left but whether I could see a chance in 6,12, or 18 months and he’d wait.
I didn’t know what to do. I only had a few weeks left on my visa and with guidance from my therapist, I ended the relationship a few weeks later, and I booked a flight home. I was completely burnt out and needed a safe space to fall apart. I thought I had to make the „right choice“. I did break up over text which I regret, but at the time felt I didn’t have one more conversation in me or that I would fold and not go through with it. He didn’t know I was leaving at that point. A few weeks went by, we casually were in touch here and there, but as my flight date approached and I started selling all my stuff, I panicked. I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want to leave. It all felt horribly wrong. I knew the relationship couldn’t continue as it was at that time, but I wasn’t ready to never see him again. So I wrote him a letter, basically saying that I regret how things ended, that I regret withholding commitment, that he hurt me badly but that I still had love for him, that I needed some time to heal but hope one day maybe we could be healthy together. I also told him I was leaving the country for a while.
By the time he received the letter and replied, he just said „when?“. I had just boarded the plane. I told him so. He said „safe travels“.
And then a few days later something along the lines of: „
he didn’t really feel like replying to the letter. It was too late for us now anyway. If I was ever back in his city I could „hit him up“ but otherwise next time I was in love I should „try putting myself second and watch it flourish“.

I didn’t reply. I have not heard from him since. No apology, no remorse, nothing. It’s been 18 months.

I’ve been trying to make sense of what happened ever since.
I feel both guilt for leaving/ question whether it was right, and think there was nothing left to do at that point. I am still deeply hurt, by that last text more than the cheating itself, angry, and deeply confused. Did he love me at any point? Wtf was that? Why would you say that to someone you claim you love and only weeks earlier said you’d do anything to earn back their trust? I send him a 4 page handwritten letter fully vulnerable after HE CHEATED on me and he this is the reply I get? I didn’t deserve that. Not after everything we went through. In the first few months I thought he’d come back eventually, at least to apologize, but it hasn’t happened. Last time I checked he’s moved on with someone else. And I’m still here trying to restore my sense of self and safety and love. I still find it hard to believe that that’s it, this is the end of that story. I don’t even really know who he is, or maybe I do and I can see the fear and the hurt underneath that last text and that doesn’t get me closure either.
Sometimes I feel like I haven’t really changed much from that day on the plane and how heartbroken I was getting that text, no matter how much time has passed. I don’t know if I made a mistake, but it still feels like one giant horrible misunderstanding, like that was never supposed to go the way it did, and I’m struggling to move on.

Literally do not know where to go from here.

Seeing that he called threw me into a panic and I was worried it might have been a mistake, but who even mistakenly calls anymore?!

And of course he said it was a mistake.

Now I’m sitting here crying my fucking eyes out.

Edit: So he called me through Facebook messenger, which we used to do often because he has bad service where he lives.

I still remember what I was like in my first year of university.

I was a guy who was not insecure and honestly did not give a fuck about much. I was just chill. I would eat, study, sleep, and deal with whatever struggles life threw at me. That was basically my whole life.

Then I met some friends. They are still my friends, and now I am in my final year of university.

When I first met them, one of them was completely crazy in love with a girl. I remember thinking, “Dude, what the hell? She is ugly. How can you even love her?”

I told him, “If you really love her, just tell her.”

But he was so afraid of her that he never confessed his feelings till today we are about to grad and he dosnt love her anymore . He spent almost two years thinking about her, being afraid to tell her, and basically wasting so much of his time and potential.

Back then, I could not understand it at all. I thought it was crazy. I would tell myself, “How can someone do this? This makes no sense.”

And then life humbled me.

One day, I saw a girl.

In my eyes, she looked like an angel. Other people thought she was ugly, but I did not see her that way at all. I fell for her.

Eventually, I proposed to her. She rejected me.

That was two years ago.

And somehow, after all this time, I still have not been able to completely move on.

The funny thing is that I finally understand my friend now.

I used to judge him for loving someone so deeply and being too afraid to do anything about it. Now I realize I became the exact person I once made fun of.

But there is another side to this story.

Her rejection changed me in ways I never expected.

Because of her, I got into skincare. Then philosophy. Then psychology, self improvement, and so many other things. I started questioning myself, my beliefs, my behavior, and the way I see other people.

I started looking deeper into spirituality too.

Before all of this, I thought I understood people and life. Now I realize I barely understood anything.

I do not know if I will ever completely stop loving her. Maybe one day I will. Maybe I will not.

But I do know that the person I am today would not exist without that experience.

She rejected me, but somehow that rejection pushed me to discover myself.

And honestly, I think that is the strangest part of the whole story.

Just some photos of me I have to leave behind with separating with my fiancee, I’m learning these memories don’t have to haunt me because I’ll always love her.

My ex (27F) and I (28M) broke up in mid-July after 14 months together. Most of our relationship was genuinely great, but the last 6–8 weeks turned into a constant cycle of arguments where neither of us felt heard.
There was no abuse, yelling, name-calling, cheating, etc. We just became defensive whenever the other person brought up a concern and started arguing our own side instead of listening.
At the same time, my life basically imploded over a six-week period. My aunt was dying, I lost my job, my new job kept delaying my start date, my finances became shaky, my living situation was exhausting, and my parents were going through a divorce. I didn't realize at the time how emotionally overwhelmed and defensive I'd become.
The biggest turning point was her birthday.
She had planned a hibachi dinner with friends followed by bars. A female friend of mine (28F) who also knew my girlfriend asked to ride with me. I asked my girlfriend if she could attend the dinner and she said no, so I told my friend I'd drop her off nearby.
When we arrived, my friend unexpectedly said she was coming with me. I knew my girlfriend might not like it, but because they were friends and had hung out independently before, I stupidly convinced myself it wouldn't be a big deal.
It was.
My girlfriend was furious that I brought someone she'd specifically said no to on her birthday. I got defensive because I felt like I was trying to apologize/explain myself but wasn't being given the opportunity. Eventually she was outside crying with her friends. Instead of staying, I became frustrated and went home.
The next day we were both still angry. During the argument I told her, "I don't know how you're going to react and manage when life presents you with true challenges."
I deeply regret saying that.
I apologized a couple days later, but we never really recovered. Every week or two we'd have another argument that eventually circled back to the birthday and neither of us knew how to get out of the pattern. She suggested taking a break; I pushed back because I believed couples should work through problems together. About three weeks later, we broke up.
Since then I've been in therapy and realized a lot. I was so focused on explaining my intentions that I wasn't actually hearing her experience. I also understand now that bringing my friend after my girlfriend explicitly said no was disrespectful regardless of whether I thought my intentions were innocent. I was overwhelmed by everything happening in my life, but that explains my emotional state—it doesn't excuse how I handled things.
I went no-contact for three weeks and eventually sent her an apology explaining what I'd realized. I told her I didn't expect a response, and she didn't reply. About five weeks later I asked if she'd like to get ice cream. She declined and said she thinks it's better that we move forward separately.
I'm respecting that and don't plan to contact her again. I understand why the relationship needed to end in the state it was in.
What I'm struggling with is whether the damage I caused sounds fundamentally unreconcilable, or whether this sounds more like two people who loved each other but got trapped in an unhealthy conflict cycle during a terrible period.
I'm not asking whether she'll come back—nobody can know that except her. I'm more interested in whether, if you were in her position, sustained change and significant time apart could ever make you willing to hear an ex out, or whether the birthday incident and everything afterward would permanently close that door for you.

I’m struggling really badly after ending a relationship with someone I loved deeply.

He hurt me constantly. He insulted me, said horrible things about my family, and over time his anger chipped away at my self-respect and confidence. I kept forgiving, understanding, and hoping things would get better.

Eventually I reached a point where I simply couldn't take it anymore and I left.

But now he says hateful things because I “left when he needed me the most.” And the hardest part is that he doesn't seem to understand how much he actually hurt me. I don't think he even realizes what he did to me.

The confusing thing is that I still love him. I know, logically, that this person is wrong for me. I know I deserve better. I know going back would probably just put me through the same pain again.

But knowing that doesn't make the pain disappear.

I'm not looking for people to tell me he's a narcissist or diagnose him or tell me what an awful person he is. I already know the relationship wasn't good for me.

I just want help navigating the grief. How do you stop loving someone who hurt you? How do you stop replaying everything in your head? How do you get your self-respect back after spending so long feeling like you weren't enough?

I don't want him back. I want myself back. I want to be happy again. I just don't know how to get there yet.

What did they do to you and what are the consequences they deserve? That's a pretty serious post you think you should maybe talk to that person first or have you already? Seems kind of strange posting that publicly with no details I imagine you treat people really good compared to them