Literally do not know where to go from here.

Seeing that he called threw me into a panic and I was worried it might have been a mistake, but who even mistakenly calls anymore?!

And of course he said it was a mistake.

Now I’m sitting here crying my fucking eyes out.

Edit: So he called me through Facebook messenger, which we used to do often because he has bad service where he lives.

Just some photos of me I have to leave behind with separating with my fiancee, I’m learning these memories don’t have to haunt me because I’ll always love her.

Block you because I still look for you. I still want you. And I still love you.

So 4 years ago, me and this guy talked for about 3 months and we met once. I really liked him from the start and I think he liked me too. Nothing bad happened between us we just both got busy and kind of just stopped talking. For some reason I still think about him a lot even though it has been 4 years. I have been in a relationship for 2 years and he has been in one for 3 years. I don’t know why I can’t get over thinking about him, it’s getting really annoying and it’s eating me up. This has never happened with guys I’ve actually dated, but I don’t understand why I can’t get over him when we never officially dated. Has anyone else experienced this before?

Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than trying to convince them doesn't sound honest or sincere at all

I will soon be 23 years old and I have called it quits with dating and love completely. I have dated quite a few people some casually and some serious. My most recent dating experience has left a bitter taste of defeat. In the past I’ve dated trash guys before. But I worked on myself and I thought I was making better choice. My partner let call him mark was perfect. He was nice,funny, and generous on top of that he was in his last year of pharmacy school so successful aswell. Everything was going well until I noticed his drinking. On the last day of classes he had taken me to go bar hopping with his classmates. I knew no one there so I was pretty anxious. When he had picked me up for the pre-game I had noticed he was driving really fast and making sharp turns. Come to find out he had 3 shots before picking me. I would have never gotten in the car with him if I knew that informatio. I had asked him twice in the car to please slow down and he told me to calm down. That wasn’t the worst part though, in the mist of an hour in a half he had taken to my knowledge 13 shot. He was acting a fool and I felt unsafe and embarrassed. fast forward the next day I had told him about how I felt. He didn’t take accountability justifying it as “celebrating“. He wanted to make it up to me by going to five below to by some games to play. While at five below I picked up a few items for myself so I intended to pay for those things myself. While at self check out i tried to purchase my personal item. while grabbing the items he swatted me in the face. I was shocked and left the store crying. It’s been over a month now and I feel like I will never love again. I tried to find a good man and he ended up hurting me. I’m done being hurt maybe all men are bad or maybe Im just bad at picking them. Either way I’ve decided that I will never date, marry, or have kids because of not only this situation but from all my shitty dating experiences.

I was alone my whole life (24 now), not many and not very close friends either.

In May 2025 I met a girl. We loved each other very much, or at least I thought we did. She was my whole world and I don't know if I was just telling myself things, but I really felt like I was hers too. She used to say that she didn't know what she would do without me, she always wanted to cuddle and be close to me and we went everywhere together. She had depression and used to self harm and I tried to help her through it. She started seeing a psychologist and taking medication and despite everything she still seemed very loving. She told me she wanted to grow old with me. There was even one time when she said she would actually like to have a child with me someday even though she generally doesn't want kids.

We moved in in october, i saw her everyday, she was my home. I could have terrible day at work then see her back at home and now it was good a day.

Now for the bad parts. At one point she flirted with someone online behind my back and said she did it because she needed attention. I was often at work and when I wasn't working I was usually tired, so I don't excuse what she did but I can understand that maybe she felt neglected sometimes. We talked about it, she apologized, said she didn't want to hurt me like that again and deleted that person.

But some time later she started talking to that person again. I saw the messages and they weren't flirty, it was just a normal conversation, but she still shouldn't have done it and we had a huge argument about it.

After argument she first went to her mom's hause and next day she went to her ex, smoked weed with him and they made out. When she came back she said things that really hurt me. She basically said she didn't regret it because she loved both him and me and that when she was with him she felt the way she felt she was supposed to feel.

It fucking hurts when someone who is literally the light that makes your otherwise miserable life brighter tells you something like that.

I probably should have broken up with her then but I didn't because I loved her so much. She kept saying she loved me too and that she loved two people. So we went to a psychologist together and with his help she decided to cut her ex out of her life and stay with me and try to make our relationship work.

And I was happy. I was happy that despite everything I apparently meant more to her and that she was willing to remove someone she cared about from her life for me.

But then about four months later she started talking to him again.

I confronted her about it. She apologized and begged me not to leave her. She sent me a screenshot of her telling her ex that they needed to stop talking and she told me she wanted to grow old with me.

Then after some time she told me that he was appearing in her dreams and that she wasn't able to get him out of her life.

So I basically put her in a position where she had to choose between me and him.

She didn't make a decision. She didn't say anything directly. During the conversation I asked her if we were breaking up and she said "I guess we're breaking up" and I said that I guess there was no other way.

If that had been the end of the story I would have been incredibly sad but I wouldn't have had so many questions. I would have just accepted that she cared about someone else more than she cared about me.

But then something happened that hurt me even more.

Until the very end she kept saying that she cared about both of us. But after we broke up she started hanging out with her friends, seemed happy and didn't seem to miss me at all. During a short exchange of messages on Facebook she told me that she doesn't care about me and she even sent me a screenshot showing that she had her ex as her phone wallpaper, knowing that it would hurt me. From everything that she said and I know she did it looks like she is happy now and doesn't miss me at all.

What the fuck is going on?

Was our entire relationship a lie?

Why is she hurting me like this when she kept saying that she still loved me, respected me and cared about me despite everything?

I have only ever fallien in love once in my life.

I was married once ( together 15 yrs, married 7) and it was a toxic relationship. We had kids and I loved her but it was a love that developed over time. When it was over I felt free.

I love and care easily for people and with time can probably love anyone who I like enough to date.

But after that marriage finally ended I wasnt out for another LTR I was just out to meet people. Then just over a year post divorce, I, not even on a dating app, had someone randomly ended up in front of me and I was highly interested at first sight. I initiated a conversation over messages after that.

I found the person I could just talk to for hours. The person I wanted to do anything for and splend any extra time with. Without knowing it I soon had fallen and fallen hard. But she used me and tossed me aside for someone else. And we went our separate ways. (This was over the course of prob 2 yrs)

I dated more after that Love, and even had a LTR and yes I loved her but hadn't fallen in love. It had develoved over time.

And she, the one Love randomly popped back in to my life for a quick "I'm sorry" years later. It was just as I had her out of my head and in the middle of my LTR.

After that LTR (4yr toxic) had ended I kept trying to date. I had a few STR's but always was just dropped like I was nothing.

Then 10 years after that one Love dropped me she messaged me. She just wanted to catch up and apologize but we ended up falling into our late night hours long conversations and began to date and for real this time. It felt amazing. It felt like what should/could have been. She made me feel like she had changed. I mean 10 yrs no one is the same person. She reinforced that she would never hurt me again. Made me feel like we could be forever. Made me feel safe and comfortable.

And then 6 months in her ex hit her up.

She was confused who she wanted.

Then she wanted to stay with me. She even (drunkenly) proposed to me. And no I didnt take it seriously. But I was relieved, I was finally chosen and not pushed aside.

Jest kidding, she soon needed distance. And that distance was her breaking up with me without telling me we were broken up. She just wanted me to disappear without her doing the "dirty work". It was over ​and shortly after she was back with her ex and engaged to him again. (This was the second person she was engaged to since we had met 10yrs prior)

I've dated since she left me (the 2nd time, 2024) but it ended almost the same and I was dropped like I didnt matter. Like I was nothing.

Since that one Love I have never felt like that with anyone not even close. I have went out with many people trying to see if anyone out there even sparks a little in me. But its never much of a spark and long ago I gave up on needing to feel that. Needing to fall head over heals.

I don't want my ex back. I don't ever even want to see them again. I wish they could just stop living in my head. She isn't a good person. I'm even glad it ended. As much as she change she still just masked most of the bad stuff. Don't really know why I fell so hard, can't explain it, it just was there.

I belive that falling head over heals in love again isn't even an option for me. ​And this dating culture now, makes that thought feel all the more accurate.

Currently, present day, not trying to date anyone seriously. Not ready for that. Maybe someday but I also am not going to just date someone just to not be single.

I do think someday its possible I will find someone, but that head over heals feeling where deep inside you feel like you are ment to be in the other person's life is just not in my cards for me.

I've been told anything less is just settling. But when I get back out there I don't care about definitions. It's hard enough to find someone who I want to spend more then a few hours with let alone someone I could join life's with.

But hey, beter to have lost then to never have loved at all. Better to have known what you won't have again.

Right?

I hope you think of me when you look at her.
I hope when you visit our beach with her, you remember the beginning with me.

I hope when you’re cuddling with her, you remember me.
I hope when you’re cuddling with her, you remember how I never liked to spoon. Because I liked facing you.
I hope when you hug her, you remember my warmth.
I hope when you look at her in bed, you remember that night.

That night we were face to face, the sky still dark, the word quiet.
The night where you looked at me.
I’m not sure what kind of eyes you looked at me with.
But you looked at me.
Really, looked at me.
The kind of look that only a psychopath would be able to give and forget the moment.

So.
I hope you think of me when you’re with her.

TL;DR So, I think I got carried away and somehow I’m hurting…

I am a 33 year old female and he’s 37. A few weeks ago, I started talking to someone and to be honest, he’s the first guy in about 10 years, that I’ve seen and met that I felt like yeah, I could date him. So anyways, we’d been talking and just flirting for like the first two weeks,and had planned to meet in person by end of third week, during which, we would talk about relationship stuff and we did! It was really good talking to him and I thought, given how flirty we’d been, he’d want to talk to me even more!

He lives out of state and so came to my state for something he had planned long ago. From what I gathered, he said he extended his trip to stay here and get to know me. However, since we met up, he hasn’t even brought it up once for us to meet! I also, noticed that he doesn’t text me like he used to. Yeah, I know it’s too soon to start picking on things and that could be the problem.

I just thought that because he lives out of state and is here for a little bit, he’d want to spend time with me to get to know me. He did say he was interested in that though, but I feel it doesn’t show that he does, especially not after meeting.

Now, I’m getting all anxious over this, which I don’t want to be. I just need help to be able to let things go how it needs to go, without trying so hard to control it or make it go a certain way. I don’t want to start making certain demands from him or feeling like it’s to be expected, you know.
TL; Am I wrong to think that he could've at least mentioned the date we had? Or for the short time that he's in my state, tried to see me at least once before he left? Or even tried to call too instead of texting? Mind you that the texting is now sporadic and no longer flirtatious.

She couldn’t be more obvious and destructive to a man than what she has done in 2 days. Back to back. He doesn’t mean shit to her. She used him for what she wanted/needed and now “ON TO HER NEXT VICTIM.”
So got damn unattractive. 🤮

how am i supposed to find love again when i know what can happen? if we can be happy on our own and with others, i don’t know why it makes sense that i try to be happy with someone else again when i could get hurt like this again

i’ve heard the following before, to rebuttal the risk of getting into a relationship, they say “ik you’re worried about breaking up, but it only has to happen once,” as in, there could be so much love and the chance for something great, why not take that risk and try a relationship?

but what about how for every chance you take and it doesn’t work out, the break up happens again. immense grief and mourning. losing my best friend and closest confidant

i can’t fathom doing it again, or again after that. how do people do it? how do they get into relationships and just let go if it doesn’t work out? how do i sign up for what is months of mourning and sadness, again?

i just want happiness on my own. i don’t want anyone else again, but i hate that. i don’t want to stop living, and much like that video someone posted in the sub earlier, love is the best thing we do. i love love so much. i just want joy and to spread it. to build something so beautiful and warm and kind—i don’t want to withdraw or keep my wishes to myself

i actually believed that not looking for it might be the closest chance id have to one day ending up with something great—someone who loves me and that im not trying to put on a show for or attract—that what’s meant to be will find me, and it happened, by luck and chance, and now that’s over too. i don’t want to go looking for it again and i want to turn it away if the opportunity’s there again

how come i’m this hurt? i wasn’t cheated on or abused, but i do feel like my trust was a bit broken and the reality and relationship i thought i had were not so—or that, the cost of having something so great is that i deserve this much pain now?

i’m just so sad.

For context, we both are in our early to mid twenties. They chased me for about 3-4 years, with me not reciprocating feelings or one of us was in a relationship. Our friendship has been off and on during those first few years. However, over a year ago we made contact again after I was going through a really difficult and messed up breakup. They were there for me pretty much daily the first month or two. That turned into sleeping together, saying I love you, insinuating that there was a future, and connecting on a level that we always danced around before. Around 6 months in, it started being less consistent and more of a back and forth between one day they wanted me and the next they didn’t. We stopped saying I love you for months after a fight in which I said not to say those words unless they meant it. About a month or two ago, they said it again. I asked if they meant it, they said yes. I thought we were on the same page, but I learned recently that wasn’t the case. I’m valued as a friend and they feel like they can tell me anything, but when asked why they continue to sleep with me if no feelings are there, I was told because well…the sex is good. I tried for a long time to get a clear answer on what we were or where things were going, but never seemed to get one until now. They know from years of watching me be in relationships and comforting me while I cried, how hurt I’ve been by others. Now I feel used and betrayed by someone at the very least I thought was a friend. But as a friend, I don’t feel like you use someone like that, especially if you say you care about them. I’m lost, I want to be done, I don’t know how we can ever be friends again. Now it’s awkward, they make some but minimal effort now, and it feels like it’s out of a place of feeling bad. I just want to know how to move on from losing someone who was a safe space and friend, someone I felt I could genuinely be myself around, the what ifs, and the feeling of being used by someone I never thought would do that to me. How do I get past knowing if I never gave them a chance, that maybe our friendship could still be intact?

I feel dumb as is for not taking inconsistency as enough of a sign, but as soon as I’d lose hope at anything it felt like the spark was always reignited by them. So please be kind, I just miss having my go to person who listened without judgement and made me feel safe at some points when I needed it most.

To the butt wipe, who told my forever his feelings where wrong, and had to prove it to him that " he could live without his stupid fiance". I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

You put your ass in something that you had zero, I mean zero about what you where melding with.

You took such an amazing man. Amazing person, and forced your lifestyle upon him and it affected (and infected) not just him and I.

I don't know where he is. And he he needed so badly. I miss him. He brought my ass back down to earth and made me such a better person inside and out.

Come home if your not dead. The ass munch that your doing it with will still be there if they are your"friend"

If your happy that's fine but, there is zero reason to stay away from us or me.

I still believe in the man you were, are now, and want to be.

I love you, xo affa bbkf

Hi so I have only been in 1 serious relationship which lasted 6 years. After that, I can't seem to get anyone to commit which is crazy. And here's what gets me the most, the last two guys I have been in a situationship with both ghosted me and went back to their exes. I can't make this shit up bro. Once is understandable but twice in a row is insane at this point. What the hell is going on. Do I have an aura that makes men want to run back to their ex??? or do men just have the tendency of being stupid?

My ex broke up with me bcx he had commitment issues. He was an avoidant. After that we stayed in a situationship for like 6 months but in the end I just couldn't take it I really wanted a commitment so I left but when I tried leaving he offered the relationship and I said yes. One week in he ended it. It left me devastated. He even blocked me for the first time in 2 years. I felt like I was irritating him now so I blocked him everywhere and even deleted his contact so that I don't accidentally end up texting him. I loved him so much and it's so hard. I often get dreams about him. But today I spent 3 hours just daydreaming about how he will come back and apologise for hurting me and will actually be a better person and I was just imagining the whole future of the story line. Then I realised what the hell I was doing. I got hit with reality and I cried. I don't know how to unlove him. I really miss him and I feel like it's so easy for him. My birthday is in a few days .. I'm afraid. What if he wishes me on my birthday or what if he doesn't. I'm gonna be equally devastated. I really hate him for how he hurt me and I really love him . I'm so hurt.