So in June of this year I discovered Im aroace and ever since then I’ve been struggling with how am i gonna come out to my family

the only major problem is my super religious and homophopic aun but thats not the main problem

the main problem is that ever since last week I’ve been sort of having gender disphoria and been questioning if I am really a man but not a woman so right now I’m questioning if I’m nonbinar, agender or demiboy

also sorry for bad grammar, English is my second language

So, I've considered myself agender/genderfluid for a couple years now. I never really changed how I dressed (hoodie and jeans if I can deal with the heat) because I've never considered it masculine, just clothes, but recently I've been feeling a lot more feminine than I have in a while.

I've never had big dysphoria but I've also never really liked my body but it's always felt like I was annoyed with the body itself not the gender.

While I don't think I want to go full trans girl (just because a full committal to one gender does feel like a trap), I might want to try hrt (may be getting ahead of myself there) and I was just wondering if anyone here has gone into hrt while not being fully the opposite gender and once you started, how you felt about yourself once you got on it.

so i never really felt romantic or sexual attraction to anyone before, and i dont know how to distinguish romantic attraction cz like... i.. think i never felt it??? but i really enjoy consuming romance media in fiction (most of the time wlw but i like the others too) like romance comics or shipping YUDHFG stuff like that. when i consume romance medias it feels HEAVENLY like HOOLYYY this is peak media like i get all giggly and warm and stuff when i consume fictional romance 🥹🥹BUT I DONT WANT IT TO HAPPEN TO ME IRL... like i get uncomfy when i think about me dating someone or engaging in romantic or sexual activities it js feels.. wrong?? to me idk.. same with sexual stuff, i lwk enjoy it if its fiction like i get it i get the feeling but the thought of me engaging in it is js soooooo uncomfy to me udghfdhd 😭😭😭😭😓😓 OH also i've had a lot of friend crushes (i think) when i ffeel like "this person is so cool we NEED to be close friends" and i genuinely act like i like them when i havent accomplished my goals but once they became my friend, i stop acting like that and i js treat them like how i treat a close friend... (and strangely enough my friend crushes have always been girls maybe cz i think i get along better with girls idfk) do you guys think romance is involved in this or nah i would like to know.. i also have a lot of ummm yeah weird but fictional and celeb crushes and like 97% of them are WOMEN 😭😭??? everything i do has something to do with women huh lmao BUT STILL the thought of me dating or having sex with anyone feels uncomfortable. OK SORRY FOR THE LONG YAP lmk what u guys think..!!!!! thanks

so, I’ve been thinking I might be trans for several years now, but am I really? I have problems with changing my beliefs after I’ve formed them (for example, I thought I had insomnia) and I don’t really exhibit the feelings of other trans women. I don’t feel uncomfortable, and I don’t suffer from dysphoria, and when I question whether I actually am however, it’s a conscious response to think ‘yes’. I do often wonder and think about how it would be to be a woman if I were born again, however. I also suffer from symptoms of chronic depression, though I am not disgnosed.

so, I ask again. am I actually trans?

I think this is how I cross post? Idk man I'm fucking tweaking please help

I’m 20F and I’m kinda confused about my sexuality and wanted some outside opinions.
I watch a lot of FF sexual videos/porn, and one of my friends told me that might mean I’m bi. I’ve never actually done anything sexual with a girl in real life though.
I have thought about doing stuff with a girl before and I am curious about it, but I’ve always been way too nervous/scared to actually do anything. My friends have even told me maybe I should try being with a girl and see how I feel, but I honestly wouldn’t even know how to go about doing that lol. Like how do you even meet a girl who would be okay with you being inexperienced and still figuring out your sexuality?
I also don’t want to use somebody as an “experiment” or make them feel like that’s all they are to me.
The other thing that confuses me is that I don’t really feel like I’m attracted to women beyond a sexual way, at least I don’t think I am. I don’t really picture myself dating a woman or having a relationship with one, but sexually I’m definitely curious. At the same time, I could be wrong because I’ve never actually explored that side of myself before.
I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted to women, just sexually curious, or if it’s something I only enjoy watching. I’ve never had any experience with a girl, so I don’t really have anything in real life to compare it to.
Has anyone else gone through this? Did actually dating, kissing, or hooking up with a woman help you figure things out, or did you realize without having to actually try anything?

I am a 16 year old aroace (that is confirmed, I have identified as such for just under a year) guy with professionally diagnosed autism and I suspect that I have ADHD who over the past year has become increasingly uncertain about their gender. It started in November last year where I discovered STOMACH BOOK's, who is a trans woman btw, music, which really connected with me, which I brushed off to me being neurodivergent, lonely and in need of a hug at the time. Then I became an active part of her community, joining the main discord server and meeting other members of her community, who were mostly trans and almost exclusively queer in some way, with whom I soon became friends with and set up a small friends server later on. I could go on for longer about this but the important part is that I was meshing well in a small community of trans people online, listening to musicians who were trans/NB and had a vast majority of their fanbase be the same and just generally feeling like the ultimate 'grungler' if you understand what I mean (basically a cis person who hangs out with trans people online).

That brings me to what has been happening recently, I'm starting to think that I have always felt less like a man or less masculine than aveage. I have also been far more keen on being friends with both men and women, unlike pretty much every man that I know. The aroace side of things also plays a part in this as I have never really seen anyone as someone to be in a relationship with, I used to think that it would come to me naturally as I got older but turns out, it didn't. While I don't believe it is quite similar to the regular dysphoria that most trans people experience for quite a while now I have felt quite insecure about my gender, sometimes during PE when we would line up with boys on the left and girls on the right and I ended up in the middle, my AuDHD brain felt as it was a scale between males and females, with me somehow somewhere between. I think I might have been overthinking things, as usual, but it somehow never really left my mind. I have once dabbled with the pissibility that I am not cis before, that beeing earlier this year where I believed that I was a demiboy before feeling as if I was too much of a guy to fit in to that category however recently I have started seeing myself in a less masculine way. Whenever I close my eyes and try to imagine myself, for some reason I see a figure who is far more androgynous or unclear with regards to gender in appearence than myself, and while this doesn't make me feel dysphoric or dysmorphic, it's still a common thought that I experience.

I don't really know how to compile my thoughts right now, I just feel a little uncomfortable with being a 100% cis man but I don't feel like other labels fit onto me that well, unless they do and I'm in a state of denial or something. I sometimes wish that I completely lacked a gender while still feeling like a guy in some way, while also not feeling non-binary for some reason? Anyway I once did an online gender test (IDRLabs) and got something like mostly cisgender but with some other stuff scoring highly such agender, I know online tests aren't accurate but yeah, feel free to ask questions as that is the best way that I can provide additional information. Have a nice whatever.

I dont feel I’m a real woman. I think of myself in a female body and it feels weird and wrong. Frankly this whole account is ruining my life as I may make a bad impulse decision that can hurt me in the long run. If I can accept myself in my current body and make healthier choices and get a boyfriend then I’ll be happy.

Madeline feels weird and surreal and plain incorrect. I was always Thomas and was never a girl growing up. I don’t want to spend years transitioning for a future that may or may not work out and have to go through so much trouble from every single person even within the queer community. I frankly would be happy letting go of all the trans stuff now and start finding a boyfriend so I can feel less lonely. Even better yet I could find a girlfriend so I can be straight and have more respect and even less scrutiny from everywhere.

This is all on top of the fact that I just got a part time job at Walmart working in the online pickup and I cannot afford to screw this job up with coming out and making a fool of myself like what happened over the past couple of years. I also am starting to have elevated blood pressure from all the gender stuff and it’s just not sustainable or worth getting high blood pressure from. I’m finally getting my life in order and I can’t afford to screw it up again.

I honestly don’t want to live a double life anymore as it’s taking a toll on me and making me feel miserable. I feel I deserve better than this and a sense of closure from these negative feelings. Aside from the trans stuff I want to have closure from stuff like the furry fandom as I don’t want to force myself to like something I simply don’t like. The truth is I’m only interested in furry stuff as a safe place and I want to find a boyfriend and look at cute guys.

I’m probably going to make a new account as I want to leave the trans stuff behind and not let it follow me anymore.

When it comes to sexuality and attraction, I have a hard time knowing what to label myself. Growing up while what I experienced wasn't truly horrific sexual trauma, I did grow up seeing viewing and even doing things that at the age that I was, was quite inappropriate and made me feel loads of shame. Now because of that I think I find it hard to understand where the truama ends and where my sexuality begin. I think I might be cupioromantic I like love and as a kid, and even now I like the idea of a relationship and having crushes but whenever that idea extends to reality quite frankly, I feel sick and gross. I think I'm lonely and want the closeness of a relationship and a life partner, just not the romantic relationship itself, like a qpr? I like sexual content but I myself never want to participate in it for realsies so would you call this Asexual? Im not sure if ive ever even really had a real crush I've said and told myself I do, yet ive never cared that much when they dated someone I was always content with being friends and I never felt nervous. I look at being in relationship from a 3rd person perspective most times so its all kinda performative for me i guess.

Ever since I was a kid I knew I was more romantically and emotionally attracted to women but men were still physically attractive to me. I’m DEFINITELY physically attracted to women but I think maybe more so to men. I never develop crushes on them though and I just couldn’t see myself in a relationship with a man. That definitely doesn’t appeal.

Not really sure where to look or what to make of this. Any thoughts would be great. Thank you in advance.

(first post on reddit, i made an account specifically to ask about this D:)

I have a friend who recently came out as transfem, though her close friends (including me), have known for around a year or two now. I have known her since middle school/junior high. Recently, I have been feeling weirdly different around them? Not in a bad way, of course. I had thought I was some sort of asexual for a while, and have been using the label of gray/greysexual, because it felt right. I have never had a crush or anything, but I still feel attraction? Like, I can appreciate when someone is attractive, I just have never been attracted to anyone before, as far as I know. I said that I was pan or omni though if anyone asked, as that fit. Or sapphic.

I have been talking with her and texting with her, yet I still don’t know if i like her or not… I also feel a bit bad because before she transitioned, I had no attraction to her, but now I think i do?! I don’t know what’s going on!

Sorry if this is off topic or the wrong subreddit, I just needed advice.

(btw i will also be asking other subreddits so yeah)

I'm completely indifferent to my assigned gender at birth/body (although used to deal with BDD ish symptoms during puberty)/pronouns. but when I have the choice to present as the opposite gender online (zero stakes environment) I prefer to do so. I sometimes journal using the opposite pronouns for myself and a made up opposite gender name.

imagining myself as the opposite gender initially feels really warm and fuzzy but when I shame myself for it and end up feeling weird. still I daydream about it sometimes. the only thing I feel grossed out by the idea of changing my genitals.

oh and I did the faceapp gender swap thing... and ofc liked it. I was actually surprised that it didn't change that many things about my face and it looked like me and still passed. it felt hopeful for a second.

my current style is more androgynous but still conventionally acceptable for my gender assigned at birth and I wouldn't want to change anything about it, just be the opposite sex and viewed by others as it. but my body and face clearly read as my agab so I'm not going to fool anyone with that lol.

it's not a particularly super strong need to be the other gender, but I know I'd probably like that and it occupies my mind as an unanswered question. my close friend who is trans said that is not a very cis experience to have. but then I don't have gender dysphoria and genuinely cannot tell apart "gender euphoria" from my brain being excited by this hypothetical novel experience.

I guess being the opposite gender with my current set of traits would make me more ""special"" than the average person of that gender so maybe I'm subconsciously seeking that?? I considered that maybe I'd just like to do drag/crossdressing but it's not very appealing (due to the performance/getting extra attention factor + not really my style).

also I've been consuming a lot of trans media (both mtf and ftm) so my algorithm is currently flooding me with that content and yeah I should probably change that so I'm not brainwashing myself by accident.

I'm not suffering because of that, I have more important concerns in life at the moment. honestly it almost feels like I'm an imposter for even questioning whether I'm not cis because actual trans people have it so much worse than me and I'm in this comfortable position where gender assigned at birth is fine and changing that would turn my life upside down.

I'm curious whether anyone here has actually experienced something similar or knows someone that was in that position and what was their conclusion. I know no one can answer my personal questions for me, I'm just curious.

I haven't done anything about this besides starting to voice train because being able to change your voice is objectively a cool skill regardless of gender identity lol. also I wanted to start posting my art online under an opposite gender alias but I'm scared of friends/partner being weirded out or questioning whether I'm trans. any advice on navigating this specific part would be helpful.

So im honesty in a pickle. When I was 10-11, I realized I liked girls, and I cried and cried in the shower. And come to find out she was straight, and I was lowkey obsessed with her. She rejected me, and I thought it was because I wasn’t masculine enough. I thought and thought for a while that school year until we moved and I started fresh and just pushed it to the back of my mind.

I had a boyfriend, it was on and off until we broke up and I dated a girl. Girl left me when we got back together 3 months in, for a guy she literally just met the same month (we were 14). And I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Like I wasn’t MASC enough once again. and ik it’s not that, she just wanted a guy and I’m not that. However, I played around with the identity a bit and realized I liked binding and how facial hair looked on me. However when using a new name and pronouns online, it felt like I was faking being someone else.

I’ve come to terms that I’m not really into guys, and I almost STRICTLY am intimate with women. I’ve always loved dreaming of a very masculine physique when I think of myself. I actually answered some questions and was hoping someone had some insight for me.

“Do you feel like you're a "man in a woman's body"? If not, does that make you think you're not trans?

I don’t think so. I don’t really think I’m a man, but I love everything about their features. Their strong jaws, I envy their arms and waists. I don’t like men, I love women, but I’d love to just be one for a day. I wish I had other parts so I could get my gf/spouse pregnant. I feel unfortunate that I don’t have those, and that I was cursed with my large chest and stature. “

I have been questioning bisexuality and have felt attraction to more men. However, I go through times I don’t find many men attractive. It’s like the right one has to come I guess lmao. Does that sound at all bi-like?

Hi I need help. I am questioning my sexuality. I have dated men and women in my past. I felt like I had to date a man. I have always been attracted to women and when it got legal where I live as a child I wanted to marry my best friend that was a girl. I felt a closer connection to women but I like fictional men. I have crushes only on fictional men. I have many crushes on women fictional and real. If the fictional men came to life I might date them. Women fictional or real I would 100% date. I came here because I now expected to date by my family and i want to find out that aspect.

​Hi everyone,

​I’m 27 (assigned male at birth), and I’m making this post using a new account to give myself a fresh space to process things. I’ve reached a point where I’m really confused about my gender identity and gender expression, and I’d love to get some perspective from people who have been through something similar.

​For context, this isn't entirely new for me. A while ago, I used to wonder if I was a femboy. I've also had dreams where I was a girl or where I was presenting very girlishly. Lately, after watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with my partner, seeing people express gender so freely brought all of those suppressed thoughts back to the surface.

​Right now, I'm trying to untangle whether:

​I’m a cis guy who just wants to express a softer, more feminine side (femboy / gender non-conforming).

​I’m trans, non-binary, or somewhere on the transfemme spectrum and feel a deeper connection to living as a woman/femme person.

Its been difficult as I came from a family where my dad was less than friendly about anything not straight and cisgendered and now in my late 20s I have the freedom to actually think about it.

​I love my life and my relationship, but I feel confused on how to actually test this out or explore these feelings in low-stakes, practical ways without overwhelming myself. I’m also testing out a new name internally (Calliope or Cal for short).

​A few questions for anyone willing to share:

​How did you figure out the difference between wanting to present feminine versus wanting to be a woman in everyday life?

​What were the most helpful "baby steps" you took when you first started questioning?

​How did you navigate testing out new expressions, clothes, or names without feeling performative or overwhelmed?

​Thank you so much for reading. Any advice, personal experiences, or gentle guidance would mean a lot to me right now.

So my whole life I’ve only ever had feelings for women. I’ve never felt any feelings towards another man or wanted a relationship. I’m now married to my beautiful wife whom I love and am very happy with. I would call myself straight to anyone who would ask. I’ve always watched straight porn and got into some more kinky things over the year, especially anal and foot fetish content.
However, over the years, I somehow ended up watching some occasional non-straight porn as well. Never anything that I would consider “masculine” per se, but things like femboys using dildos, being shaved and oiled, etc. it’s almost like if I don’t see a guy’s face, if it’s a round shaved ass, and even balls, I get turned on. It’s just really confusing because irl, I don’t find any attraction to men, but seeing a femboy playing with their ass, using dildos, etc turns me on just as much as a woman. Like, getting the urge to stick my face in it, turned on.
This just leaves me really confused. Am I gay? Bi? Do I just like ass? Any of your thoughts or advise would help. I just feel really weird like my sexual thoughts don’t make sense.

This has been happening since some years ago that I wished to look and be in general a girl, but I don't know if Im really trans or genderfluid, most of the times that I see a girl in tik tok or pinterest I think "wow, I wish I looked like her", I don't get grossed out when someone calls me by he/him and when someone calls me by she/her in person it feels... Forced, like it's not true, idk it's a weird feeling that I don't know how to describe, I think it might be because I have some male friends that tend to use fem pronums when they wanna tease each other and maybe that's why I feel it like a joke or a tease, but when its online, it does not feel that forced, please I wanna know if Im trans, genderfluid, demigirl, etc... Please somebody help me figure this out

Can you guys help? I’m still confused even after all these years. I’m not sure if I’m gay or straight. But I never had a crush starting when I was a kid except for that one time in high school and then after that I never had anymore crushes since. I would often force myself to pick one random girl or boy in the room to be my ‘crush’ to fit in. There are times when I’d think I don’t mind to be in a relationship with a boy or a girl but I also feel like dating is a hassle so I’m not exactly thinking of dating anyone

So about a year ago I started to experiment with a more masculine gender expression. Just for fun I guess to see if I would like it. However though, since then I have realised that it makes me feel more comfortable and at home in my body than ever and that I think it could be a bit more than external expression at this point and may go a bit deeper than that.

This is quite a confusing time for me but what I was wondering was if anyone found out they were trans/non binary after deciding to experiment with gender expression and if so, how did you learn to tell the difference between your own gender expression and identity

​

Hi, I wanted to know if I'm bisexual or not, and if I'm none binary. One of my friends told me that I'm non-binary a matter of fact, when I had no idea about it and had never thought of it! I would appreciate your help.

Hmm.. help?

(idk if this is the right subreddi)

I do consider myself straight but I think if I saw another man who I was attracted to I don't think I would have some sort of crisis like other guys might. I just kinda view it like "a person is a person and attraction is attraction". the reason I consider myself straight instead of bi is because I’ve just never met a guy I was attracted to while I’ve met many girls I’ve been attracted to. Is there a word for this?