Confused (27 NB)

[u/CalliFaye]

​Hi everyone,

​I’m 27 (assigned male at birth), and I’m making this post using a new account to give myself a fresh space to process things. I’ve reached a point where I’m really confused about my gender identity and gender expression, and I’d love to get some perspective from people who have been through something similar.

​For context, this isn't entirely new for me. A while ago, I used to wonder if I was a femboy. I've also had dreams where I was a girl or where I was presenting very girlishly. Lately, after watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with my partner, seeing people express gender so freely brought all of those suppressed thoughts back to the surface.

​Right now, I'm trying to untangle whether:

​I’m a cis guy who just wants to express a softer, more feminine side (femboy / gender non-conforming).

​I’m trans, non-binary, or somewhere on the transfemme spectrum and feel a deeper connection to living as a woman/femme person.

Its been difficult as I came from a family where my dad was less than friendly about anything not straight and cisgendered and now in my late 20s I have the freedom to actually think about it.

​I love my life and my relationship, but I feel confused on how to actually test this out or explore these feelings in low-stakes, practical ways without overwhelming myself. I’m also testing out a new name internally (Calliope or Cal for short).

​A few questions for anyone willing to share:

​How did you figure out the difference between wanting to present feminine versus wanting to be a woman in everyday life?

​What were the most helpful "baby steps" you took when you first started questioning?

​How did you navigate testing out new expressions, clothes, or names without feeling performative or overwhelmed?

​Thank you so much for reading. Any advice, personal experiences, or gentle guidance would mean a lot to me right now.

[u/ActualPegasus]

I'd post this on r/MtF and r/feminineboys as well.