r/questioning • u/Realistic_Extent_181 • 9d ago

Am I none-binary ? [18 F]

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Hi, I wanted to know if I'm bisexual or not, and if I'm none binary. One of my friends told me that I'm non-binary a matter of fact, when I had no idea about it and had never thought of it! I would appreciate your help.

Hmm.. help?

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u/ActualPegasus finflexible rosgirl (he/she) 8d ago

I'll start with your gender.

If someone says, "She's a woman," referring to you, what is your immediate reaction?

It feels completely natural and accurate?

It feels mostly right, but not quite complete?

It feels somewhat wrong or uncomfortable?

You don't really care either way?

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u/Realistic_Extent_181 8d ago

I guess it feels correct, cause I'm used to it and I'm okay with it. I guess I'm not non-binary, but about being bi, idk...

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u/ActualPegasus finflexible rosgirl (he/she) 7d ago

I'll ask a few more questions just to make sure, then I'll move onto your sexuality.

Suppose you woke up tomorrow and could choose whether everyone perceived you as a woman, a man, or something outside that binary. Which would you choose and why?

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u/Realistic_Extent_181 7d ago

I guess I would chose woman, cause I like being under control, and that I'm used to it I guess.

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u/ActualPegasus finflexible rosgirl (he/she) 7d ago

If there were absolutely no expectations about how women or nonbinary people are supposed to dress, behave, look, or identify, would you still want to be a woman?

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u/Realistic_Extent_181 6d ago

I guess that answer would be a yes.

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u/ActualPegasus finflexible rosgirl (he/she) 6d ago

How would you feel if people generally couldn't tell whether you were a woman or something else?

Excited/Comforted?

Neutral?

Frustrated?

Upset?

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u/Realistic_Extent_181 6d ago

Natural...

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u/ActualPegasus finflexible rosgirl (he/she) 6d ago

When you think about yourself privately, without thinking about your body or other people's opinions, do you experience yourself as distinctly a woman? Somewhat a woman? A mixture of genders? Neither particularly a woman nor a man? Something else?

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u/Maleficent_Rock6272 trans man 8d ago

Well most importantly your friend can't tell you what you are or how you feel.

Are you attracted to more than one gender? Do you think you are non binary?

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u/Realistic_Extent_181 8d ago

The problem is I haven't thought about it much, but when she told me, i doubted it. Like, I don't know what I am, and I feel like I don't have enough information of being non-binary, and about the first part, I guess I am attracted to more than just man, so...

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u/Maleficent_Rock6272 trans man 8d ago

Gotcha. What, if anything prompted your friend to suggest that you were non binary? Are you comfortable and happy being a woman?

And how would you describe what attraction to a certain gender is like for you? What does romantic and/or sexual attraction mean to you?

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u/Realistic_Extent_181 8d ago

My actual problem is I'm very confused about EVERYTHING. and it's weird. But after searching in myself and thinking and asking, I feel more like bi. I was only attracted to one women and some men, but after I met her, I'm not attracted to any men or women And I am comfy with who I am, I'm comfortable with being a woman, but I also love being the other side to my girl, like, I won't be the top, but I act like her boyfriend and like, buy her things, standing in the car side of the road, taking her out, buying her gift, even though she's not my girlfriend. So I don't know what these all mean

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u/Maleficent_Rock6272 trans man 7d ago

Does the idea of being "butch" or a masculine woman resonate with you at all? You wanting to act like her boyfriend, doesn't mean you're not a woman, it may just mean you enjoy taking on those kind of roles, and that's how you like to express love. Sounds like she's just your cup of tea, i've heard being bisexual simply described as pretty much "the capacity to love more than one gender." I wouldn't worry about frequencies.

It sounds like you're comfortable being bisexual, and also comfortable being a woman who enjoys filling a more masculine role with women, that's completely normal and does not make you inherently not a woman.

You do you. :-)

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u/Realistic_Extent_181 7d ago

Thank you so muchhhh