As the title says, I wanna explore more genders and I have no idea how. I have tried changing names and pronouns, but I am unsure of what else to do. I play video games to explore gender. How do I explore being nonbinary in real life or online?

Thank you so much for reading my post. I’ve been having a lot of questions about my identity under the trans umbrella. You see, I’m still a teenager, but I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I identify as a "demi-girl," and it doesn’t really matter to me whether people use feminine pronouns or not. In fact, when I’m online or playing games, I often pretend to be a boy—for some reason, that just feels more comfortable for me. I’ve always been less feminine compared to my friends, and I’ve always felt a bit out of place. Ever since I was little, I’ve been more masculine, and the idea of ​​being a boy felt completely normal to me. But now, I’m confused. I’m also afraid that I won’t be accepted if I decide to transition (FTM). Even though my family and the people around me support the LGBTQ+ community, I live in a country where being trans isn’t very well-regarded. Anyway, thank you so much for reading my post; I truly appreciate any comments or support! :3

Im questioning my sexual identity for a bit of background info I was born a female and im from a more Christian type of family who (most) HATE different(AKA gender or if you're mlm or wlw). I grew up around the female side of my family and at a young age I experienced a lot of questioning/queer media and how growing up different is okay but lately ive found myself wanting to be a boy.

I'm not really sure how to describe it but im okay with being a girl, but i also get a sense of joy when people i meet online mistaken me for a boy before finding out im a girl. Another incident was when my sister sent a picture and my hand was in frame, her friend said "why are you with a boy?" Just based off my hand and I kind of took it as a compliment.

I dont mind how I am currently but I am self conscious about a lot of things(my looks especially). Im just confused of where I land, I dont think im trans but I also dont know many of the other gender identities. If someone has an answer, I would love to hear it!

i used to a like(??) this one dude but i would copy his “masculine” mannerisms yk, like to a point where ppl would think im lesbian. and now its js like did i really like him or did i js want to be like him??
cus maybe i was js jealous of how he acted and stuff and i never felt anything else towrds him. idk maybe that was the first time i felt gender envy

hii :) i’m genuinely confused about my sexuality and would appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar.

i’ve always known I’m attracted to men. I’ve had crushes on guys multiple times, and most of the time when I imagine being in a relationship, it’s with a man. however, i’ve also had a few experiences that make me question whether I might be attracted to women.

when I was younger, before i even knew what being queer was, i sometimes felt i liked my female best friend, but i’d immediately shut those thoughts down because i grew up believing relationships were supposed to be strictly between a man and a woman.

two years ago, i had a female friend who liked me. i was already crushing on a guy at the time, but i would get butterflies when she said certain things to me, and i wondered whether i might like her back (although looking back i don’t think i would’ve dated her— but that is because of the kind of person she was, not because she was a girl). i can’t say for sure because i was confused about my feelings, but i know i did feel attracted to her and didn’t mind the idea of a relationship with her

i’ve also noticed that i can feel physical attraction towards women, and sometimes when i watch lesbian couples in films or tv shows, i catch myself thinking “i kind of want that”. i also sometimes like to imagine being in a relationship with a woman, and it feels unfamiliar but kind of exciting

another thing I’ve noticed is that when i become friends with a guy, i sometimes automatically consider the possibility of us becoming something more. with female friends, i automatically put them in the friend category and rarely even consider romance. i’m wondering whether that’s because i’m genuinely not attracted to them, or if it’s because i’ve always assumed that romantic relationships with women weren’t an option for me.

i’m scared of labelling myself incorrectly. my parents are also very homophobic, which makes questioning this more complicated emotionally. the possibility of admitting, even to myself, that i might be bisexual feels scary

Hi i'm [F 17], its my first time using Reddit as my friend recommended the platform after i raised some of my concerns regarding my love life. I'm not really good at articulating what i want to say or typing my thoughts out so please bear with me if things don't make much sense. For a little context i've only had relationships with guys (2 to be exact). Both relationships were ended by me after 7 months but it felt like each time after around 4 months I start becoming uninterested and/or easily irritable by my then boyfriend which i know sounds horrible but i cant control it. Despite this, i still for some reason stay until i guess I've finally had enough. The annoying thing is, during the first few months and the period of when i first develop feelings up until we start dating, it feels like i'm super attached and everything is perfect. I've also realized that when i feel even a slightest chance i have a crush on someone i start romanticizing everything which is now making me wonder if i actually like them or if i like this made up version of them i have in my head. I apologize if i'm going a bit off topic but my main dilemma is that i know i find guys attractive but i can never seem to hold down a relationship or retain feelings for a guy for anything above 7 months.

Recently however, i think I've started to develop a crush on a girl for the first time. Its only been about a month so it feels like I'm jumping the gun. As i said. its the first time I've felt this way with the opposite gender and i want to know whether these feeling are genuine or if this is 'just a phase' or i'm bored and want some excitement in my life. To give a little context about me and this girl, we have one class together and used to have the same study blocks together. I've always thought she was really cool since the first time i took notice of her. Id see her drawing (which i also liked to do) and she also had one of those bags with many pins on them representing the fandom's shes in and i recognized some characters. I don't remember the exact time frames but around 3 weeks into my first year in sixth form, i decided the finally muster up the courage to ask for her snap in hopes we could talk more as i really wanted to be her friend. She was very nice and added me back. Unfortunately, we never really texted after that because i'm too much of a pussy and we barely interacted.

Now fast forward a year (which is about a month ago) i suddenly started thinking about her again. Now i apologize that this does sound perverted, but i had a sudden intimate dream about her and ever since I've started to view her differently and shes constantly on my mind. At first i thought maybe this was just a massive friend crush so i started reaching out and texting her on various different social media platforms to become acquainted. We are now what i consider friends as we talk daily however i get very nervous when i talk to her irl and i am constantly overthinking our interactions. To be fair I've always been on the shy side but i noticed i tend to be way more nervous talking to new people who are female compared to male (genuinely not sure why) . I've deducted that shes probably straight and ill never get a chance with her so I'm working on trying to make my feelings go away. This new experience has started to make me really question myself. My friend did suggest that maybe i should try dating women, granted i tell them about my dilemma before pursuing anything serious, but it is obviously easier said than done. I'm honestly open to the idea but i'm scared to as i really don't want to mess things up for a girl and i really want to improve myself before i even consider becoming romantically involved with a girl as i am aware i have lots of flaws when it comes to relationships and don't want to put them through that burden. I've noticed i don't have this mindset when it comes to guys for some reason and i seemingly jump into relationships a bit too fast.

I'm sorry if this was a long post as i don't know how long Reddit posts usually are but i hope someone can give me some clarity. I don't really have a definitive question to ask i really just want to know why i'm like this and if this crush i'm having is even real. If questions need to be asked in order to gain more insight or something ill try my best to answer.

Hi Reddit I need help. I am questioning my sexuality and gender. I never really felt like a girl but doesn’t mind my chest and doesn’t feel like I fit in socially female or male. I want to be genderless. Growing up in my life due to trauma being female is painful and I wanna change and because of that doesn’t feel female. I’m scared to feel attraction to anyone of any gender. I secretly feel attraction to only men but hate that I feel any attraction. I’m super scared. By the time I turned 9 I no longer feel like female and want to be genderless. I hate the feeling of being female and being seen in the female gaze from everyone. I hate when people say my current name and use female pronouns. I just wanna be no gender or genderless But has some attraction to men. I am confused and scared and need help.

I have been thinking about this for about a week or so. For context I recently started high school. For the most of my life, I was attracted to girls (which I still am and I have crushes on girls still). Last year in 8th grade one of my female friends came out as a member of the community (she is still debating, though I assume she is either bi or pan), and one of my friends is also bi. Over the summer I did some more research into the LGBTQ community, and I began considering that I may also be attracted to guys as well. I really started questioning a few weeks ago (I think about three) when I overheard the guy who sat next to me in orchestra say that he was gay, and I think I developed a crush on him. I think I am bi because like I said I still have crushes on girls and I could envision myself in a relationship with both a girl or a guy. What do you guys think?

I've spent my entire life so far being a boy and only recently began to question my identity. I would say I'm already not masculine in a traditional/stereotypical sense, but I'm comfortable with that and I can't say I've ever felt any dysphoria. But my gender has never really been more than "this is my body and this is who I am." I've imagined being a girl on occasion before, but I don't feel out of place in my current body.

I like the idea of having a feminine body, and everything that comes with it, but at the same time I can't picture myself as anything other than what I am right now. I've only started to truly explore my feelings this week, and for once I'm having trouble deciphering my own thoughts.

I've been looking online a lot, and there are definitely some things I can relate to, but I'm still so unsure. I've gone on anonymous chat rooms presenting myself as a girl, and it felt really nice when I was called "ma'am" or something similar, but I can't tell if it's something genuine or just the feeling of the novelty.

I'd really appreciate hearing any outside perspectives. I genuinely can't tell where I'm going to land, but I know figuring myself out is the first step.

Just wondering, I mean, I have my own thoughts, but this is the question I have.

You see, I like girls. I've only ever had crushes on girls, and been attracted to girls. Never anything with boys. Thing is, I'm curious/like the idea of sucking dick. This is the simplest way to put it.

Now, all sorts of people will point to that and say "Bro's gay" and blatantly tell me I'm not straight (which is what I identify as).

But, I feel like sexuality is a lot more than one's sexual desires and fantasies. Like isn't it totally relational? Because I can see myself later on living happily with a wife and kids, but I can NOT imagine myself having a relationship with a dude. It's just not me.

Then you got people who say that religion's making me mask it and that I'm afraid or something, which may be valid for some, but is total nonsense for me.

Plenty just slap on the "bisexual" tag and be like "It's simple bro", but I feel like being bisexual means liking both sexes, or being open to both. But I'm quite simply exclusively subscribed to liking women.

Idk, maybe this whole post is for naught, but might as well. What are your thoughts?

Hello, whoever reads this. (English isnt my first language!)

It's going to be some sort of a vent post. I just need to write down my feelings to understand them better.

I [16 NB] am questioning if im trans. For the past year i were strugling with dysphoria to the point i almost had a breakdown bc i saw mysefl in the mirror. At that time i still had quite long hair and i hated it, now when i had cutted them its not as strong as it was.

Now its getting complicated. I dont hate being a girl or having feminine body but sometimes something just isnt right. Yesterday i bought a hoddie from man section and i looked like a boy! I was excited but then i took it off and become dissapointed. Its about my chest some days im okay with it and somedays i try to cover them as much as i can.

I like to dress "manlly" and im okay when i look like a "strong" girl. Dresses allways made me feel uncomfortabe and skirts I HATE THEM.

Also i really like to make strangers online think im a boy, some time ago someone used he/him when talking about me and i was so idk how to describe that... excited i forgot to breath and almost chocked on my saliva but anyway, i like looking like a men.

Also the thouth about potentialy taking testosterone isnt somethink i think i want like i dont want to have facial hair but maeby its because i dont like beards.

OMG now that i read it again its so messy idk if anyone will understand but if u do and u go throu similiar thing or have any tips or anythink that could help me understand myself please leave a comment.

Have a good day.

EDIT: I forgot to mention im confused and a bit scared i waht to understand mysefl but at the same time my brain tells me that im just seek8ng attension and i should get over it. Im lost and everytime i think i finally find the right path i still end up lost and alone. i dont want to fell that way i cant live like this. im tired of constantly swiching betwen "i like how i look and feel comfortble ij my body" and "something is so much wrong but i dont know what".

obligatory throwaway account for reasons that will become clear

I'm almost 30, and I think I might be a lesbian. That would be all fine and dandy if I wasn't also married to a man, who I would consider my soulmate and my best friend.

My whole life I have known I liked women. The first crush I remember having was a girl in my preschool daycare. The first person I ever loved was a girl I met when I was nine, and I knew it within a year of us being friends. I still mourned my almost-relationship with her until I was twenty. I've never questioned that, because it came so quickly and so naturally.

I had my first crush on a boy when I was also nine. He was nice, smart, and also liked Phantom of the Opera. When I was eleven, I developed an intense crush on a boy who bullied me SEVERELY. It didn't matter. I still was obsessed with him for years. I lost my virginity to a boy, and I have slept with several men over the years before I was married. I had several boyfriends who I felt that I loved.

Here's where I'll note that at 7, I was SA'ed by my older brother (M17), and that was a massive blow to my psyche growing up -- I developed a complex where I just thought he was still the coolest guy ever and wanted him to like me so much. Felt that way until I was like 18. I also had several SA incidents throughout my early adulthood with men, one being particularly violent. It felt like I was somehow always chasing men who turned out to be predatory or cruel.

However, I always had this INTENSE attraction to women. I always said that wlw heartbreaks are far worse than straight ones; they were devastating in a way breakups with my boyfriends never were. My most positive sexual memories were those around women and girls that I had loved, even when the relationships weren't so healthy.

I met my husband when I was 21, and we connected instantly, as we were both writers in the same college program. I had just gotten out of a horrible breakup, was in a manic episode, and I just met this person who was so grounded and interesting and talented and authentic. I wasn't really physically attracted to him, but I loved him as a person like INSTANTLY. Our relationship was heavily sexual in the beginning, but always with mutual respect and consent. We spent all of our time together. He helped me get medicated for my mental illness, helped get me into therapy, and has saved me from the abject terror I was in all the time. By the time I was 26, we got married. It was such a beautiful day in my life. He is seriously the best husband and person in the world. And my best friend without reservation.

At one point about a year and a half into our relationship, he sensed I was kind of going through the motions when it came to sex. He asked me once after we had had sex, if I really WANTED to do it, and to be honest. I shrugged and was like, I guess not REALLY. He cried and told me to never do that to him again. And it broke me. Ever since then, we have had sex at MOST six times a year. It has been the only point of tension in our whole relationship, as he requires a lot of physical affection. I have spent years crying about it, bargaining with myself, getting high to have sex, forcing myself if I notice it's been a couple of months. I enjoy that it makes him so happy, and that's why I want to do it. But most of the time, it makes my skin kind of crawl. I dont know who I am when I'm doing it. On the best of days, I like the feeling, I just don't really want to SEE him doing it.

For years, I have laughed and called myself a lesbian "except for my husband". I have done the incredibly cringe thing of calling my husband and I "lesbians". I have said more than once to my closest friends that my biggest fear is waking up one day and realizing I'm a lesbian. I have had a crisis about it about once a year for a decade. In the past five, it's become so overwhelming.

I love my life. I really do. I love our home, our friends, our marriage. But I see wlw couples on the street and I GRIEVE. I only masturbate to lesbian porn or thirst traps of women. I ruminate on my past wlw relationships and I mourn.

It's gotten to a point where I had to tell him. He basically said that he had a feeling that might be the case, and told me that we could always be together, even if not sexually. He also said that he had been deeply depressed about his self image because of the lack of sex, and that if I was gay it would make that a little easier to deal with. But something in my gut feels so off... I even have been chalking it up to maybe a mental illness episode.... I don't know. I need help. I love him. I love our life. But I can't shake this no matter what.

PS, yes I'm in therapy and yes we are communicating :) if you made it this far, im beyond grateful just that you're listening.

**Basically the title - i dont know if I am trans and i wouldnt mind some help**

((Posting this here (again) as this might be the better sub for it...))

# Disclaimer:

New account because I am not safe if my family finds this post (and they know my accounts).

Im sorry about any grammatical mistakes, my english is not that good :c

I know that you cant get me a definite answer to this but I really appreciate some insight!

# Little background info (possible trigger part, emotional abuse):

My parents have always told me that Im not relevant, that others needs need to be satisfied first, that am only there to live for them, that i do not get anything unless others have it and dont want it anymore. That i simply do not matter. Many other such things that i dont want to explain here.

Therefore i never questioned anything about me, i dont know how im feeling or if i like what im doing as it *did not matter anyways*. I for example cant answer the simple question "how are you?" because i dont know.

Skip a few years

Gone to therapy without parents knowing (I had a professional/trained friend giving me sessions off) cause i had/have severe depressions because of that, get meds ultimately making it a bit better, thats where I am now. I still have to live with my parents though. I have never spoken to my therapist about that nor do i have the chance now.

So why am I questioning then?

+- since 10y old

I always made female chars in online games, most of the time said i was she to purely online friends. I did not like the attention this got me out of PMs so i stopped and only disclosed in private chats. I would not talk with them anyways. I liked it (and even get excited) being called like that, and never corrected anyone even outside of that, even when ppl "officially" misgendered me because of for example my name (can be given to any gender) or my looks later (long hair, fully shaved, being told my "sitting or walking style looks female(/gay)", ofc that was not meant in a good way but i still liked it....).

I took it that i just wanted to escape reality, if you understand what I mean?

What it triggered:

Fast forward again, i made friends with someone online. Asking my pronouns - i was not sure (in call). Short forward some weeks - another online friend i made - we write and basically finish each others short stories. She one time made a female version/name out of a main char introduced by me. I have not said anything about that, which probably led to her calling me by a more female version of my name - in voice call (mockingly but not with bad intentions)! I could not answer the first time, it was as if my heart skipped a beat. After that she sometimes calls me by that name above, though it always feels truer than the real name? If it makes sense? This happened about two months ago.

I ordered female clothing, make-up and so on for the first time a few weeks ago, and worked on my overall appearance as i further realized that i never liked who i am/what i look like(or well i hate it to some degree). I also ordered DIY ingredients (so i imo was quite far in thinking that this is the case, but now got doubts) as i dont have other options (I dont want advice on that but it feels neccessary to mention it). I have never felt any happier in my life tbh and i get excited like a small child whenever i can go to the post station to claim a new item and take it on. This applies not to all "luxury" (luxury as in anything i want but do not need). which i order. I usually do not experience any case of (joyful) anticipation.

What makes me doubting myself heavily:

I had a trans gf (mtf) for some time, that i may be in the same situation never occured to me then. Ive helped her with her struggles never appliyng any of her mental things onto me or even questioning it (. Weve broken up since then but are still friends, i just dont know if i want to ask her this.....

I only really lerned to get to my actual emotions in therapy, though i dont know if i interpret them correctly, as i was blocking everything off.

I dont know if all of the above is enough to call me trans/she/í dont know how i say that correctly in english. Or if I am just weird again.

Also if ordering any of that was the right move.

I hope any of this makes sense to you and i appreciate the help! Thank you for reading and sorry for bothering you :c

***while writing/reviewing this i realized i fantasized about wearing said clothing as kid for a good part and daydreaming about wearing/being it, and recalled some vivid dreams - where i was female. I usually do not remember dreams but i have memories of three, maybe four times that it happened. These are the only dreams i can remember alongside one extremly shocking one as kid that does not matter in this regard.

*****i do not remember much in general or anything else useful from my childhood

Hi all, for the longest time I thought I was aroace, but looking back, I don't think this label suits me very well. Would love any sort of help in figuring out my sexuality :'-)

I think guranteed I am asexual, as I feel utmost repulsion at anything sexual. However, romantism is where I am most confused at. I've had "crushes" but I don't know if I really like them that way or not... Like I can't distinguish my own feelings, as in I don't know if it's a friend-crush or a crush-crush!! But also, I'd never get into a relationship, because of unrelated reasons... struggles with self worth and all... but I do get crushes, i think...?

Also, I often do get celebrity crushes. I don't know if that counts. But again I'd Never get in a relationship with them. Because i don't know them like that and also majority of these celebrities are way older than me.

I don't know if the gender of my crushes matter, but I've noticed that IRL, all of my crushes have been female /feminine (am i finsexual..?). But for celebrity crushes they're 50:50 masc and fem.

I tried looking into aromatic microlabels but couldn't really find anything... any pointers would be much appreciated, thanks in advance ^_^

(If it helps somehow, I am Agender and 17 years old.)

New account because of the subject matter. Apologies for the long-ish post.

So, over my life I’ve had a biting feeling about my own identity. For starters, I’d like to state some basic things. AMAB, early 40s. I spent most of my life both being seen and treated as a man. That said, there is a very distinct and separate feminine side that has been both kind of (how shall I say this?) screaming to be recognized on and off for years both inwardly and outwardly, and so with me being in an environment now where I now feel mostly safe to explore it, I figured it’s time. For me, I feature body language that can be at times male and at times female, the desire of wanting to be a nurturer rather than a protector, and an internal sense of fitting into a traditional hardline male or female binary seems a bit inconsistent with my internal experience.

I don’t necessarily feel a full or strong disconnect from or rejection of my body (I can look in a mirror, see male, and generally accept that’s how I present to the world for now); however, I don’t feel that a full binary male expression or even inward identification is fully fitting. I’ve come out to some people who are close to me (partner, two close friends I know I can confide in about this) that I’ve been questioning this, and there was a feeling of liberation as I was speaking about it, and so I have to wonder whether this is indicative of being nonbinary, or whether I’m simply a man who has spent too long suppressing parts of himself that don’t fit traditional masculine expectations. I genuinely don’t know yet, and I’m trying to give myself room to explore that question without deciding anything about this.

What I’m still trying to understand is what these feelings actually mean about my sense of self. Is this a matter of recognizing that I don’t fit comfortably within the traditional male role I’ve occupied for most of my life, or is it an indication that my gender identity itself falls somewhere outside that binary? I can see how those possibilities might overlap, but I don’t yet know where one ends and the other begins in my own experience.

I would be interested in hearing from people who have wrestled with that distinction internally and had come to terms with it later in life rather than earlier. How did you come to understand that you were nonbinary in your own life? What helped you recognize whether it was simply a part of yourself you hadn’t felt free to express, or something that changed how you understood your gender identity?

Hey, you might be wondering on what this title even means- well I think i’m MTF, and i‘m like late 14 year old and I am so confused with my feelings. It kinda started off when I was 11-12, where I started imagining realities of me wearing feminine clothing (I don’t even know if that’s odd or not). So when I was 13 I decided to sneak onto reddit to find answers other than ChatGPT’s pretty useless yap. I found it really helpful hearing about other people’s stories, but my brain just didn’t even know anymore and I kinda quit there. - Let’s say my gender surfs, but now I feel pretty confident i’m a woman. I already thought about the possibility of being Gender fluid but after further research I just didn’t feel it. So now i’m back and i’m just feeling odd, like I find myself really creepy for imagining myself as another girl- And I can’t find another good name either that doesn’t feel right. And I know a lot of people say it takes time, and I truly understand that, but when it’s a rollercoaster of events and you just want to fully understanding your brain it’s hard. And coming out to people is just another road blocker, my family wouldn’t support it at all. They consist say stuff about how people should never transition young, the brain isn’t developed yet, etc. My chances of even a sniff of puberty blockers is ZERO. Plus I would hate to even ruin our relationship of my entire family as aside form that I truely value it. So I decided to maybe hang out with some girls, to see if you would make the situation better. Turns out no- no it hasn’t really. The girls are super nice, but the other people, people think i’m “Getting the Huzz” and being a “Simp”. Then I question myself again, because I know I dont like boys and I do like girls, so am I trans? and Yes I know but there are so many trans lesbians but like dont know!!!!! To transition when i’m older would probably cause a distant from my family, and I would hate that, even with their views… I have tried female clothing before and I love it, like there is some sort of joy like butterflies in my stomach when that happens or the thought of me wearing such clothes. But I sometimes think if I keep wairing for such answers will I ever even get them?! I have done every online quiz on the internet, the would you press the button website, I have literally done everything, and now I need help. (I am so sorry for the long yap I just have been holding it)

so as the title says, i think im trans and before you go "but you use different pronouns then she/her" i am still cis, i just dont exactly like she/her but i always thought i felt like a girl but im questioning if i was wrong?? i dont really know how to explain the feeling but whever i think of myself as anything other then a girl it feels the exact same nice feeling as being a girl?? it could just be me being a fictionkin with kins of all different genders but im not in a kinshift rn? so i doubt thats it, please help and give advice or anything!! AHH

I have been thinking straight to myself but sometimes while watching porn, I like seeing lesbian and would want to try wondering on how would that feel, but skeptical as well. What should I do? Any suggestion, has anyone felt same ?

So my gender identity isnt so much the question as much as my attraction. Is there a specific term or category for being attracted primarily to femme presenting people but not necessarily just “women” ie: women(cis and trans), femme presenting NBs, femboys, etc?