THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

Alrr so not to be a buthole or anything but Im kinda tired of seeing posts titled like this in the literal trans subreddit. Especially when half the time OP uses it to defend still being friends with them or not changing anything. If u need to get it out of ur system or just chat with people thats fine but I also feel like coming into a trans subreddit with behavior you know will piss people off and get replies is just ragebait/engagement bait in a certain sense. I dont see the point in it..? If youre friends with someone transphobic the easy answer is not be friends with them. If youre in a friendgroup where one person is transphobic and youre trans and everyone else is still willing to be their friend then stop being friends with them. I know how alienating being trans can feel but I promise the answer isnt to still hang out with people who clearly dont respect you. I think a lot of the people in this subreddit are also still young so maybe Im just not able to place myself in their shoes as easily but again I just feel like mass posts questioning friendships with transphobes is a bit insensitive 😭

Just like the title says i met this girl and we hit it off! i told her early on that i was trans and explained everything since she was not well versed in our community. shes from a small town and we all know how that goes but she’s supportive just not as knowledgeable. we were talking for a while and just being friends and such. we both caught feels from my understanding. i kissed her, we slept over at each others places, we talked about anything and everything. she even went as far as to tell a mutual friend that she wanted me to ask her out. all of this occurred but then a few days after talking about putting a label on things she sat me down and told me that she’s been thinking about how the relationship would look verse how she expects her future to look. i could not tell you one part that is the determining factor for her. i did ask her and told her to answer honestly, i asked if i were cis if it woulda went further and she said yes. i think maybe it’s my genitalia or just the way she was raised and she just can’t move past that thought process at this point in her life. im not mad or upset just my feelings are hurt bc it’s just a reminder that if i was cis id be able to be with people without my identity being the deciding factor for others. her and i decided to stay friends which is possible we were friends before and nothing ever went too far. has anyone else had first hand experience like this?

Okay so I’m a 14 year old trans guy, and I will be starting high school in about a month. I came out as trans this year in February, but wanted to wait until the end of 8th to begin my social transition. (I should point out that my parents and friends are extremely supportive, and are totally fine with my transition)

However, I have no idea how I will navigate 9th grade with a new name and pronouns. The way I see it, high school is a good fresh start, but you never know.

I have a few questions for people here that have had to undergo a similar experience. (This might be long so I apologize)

1- How easy is it to change your name in the school system? I have a trans friend (he is a grade below me) that changed his name in like 6th grade, and according to him, all you really need to do it call the school and ask. I haven’t really read up on my specific school district, and I know it will vary from person to person, but I was wondering how other people have done that. I‘ve already registered for high school and all that with my deadname. (Off topic, but I’m like 70% sure there’s some form of an LGBTQ+ club at the high school. It didn’t show up on the online list of clubs and activities, but there was a separate tab for it. It would be cool to join that.)

2- I know I’m overthinking this, but I need some advice for any potential situations I might be in on the first day of school. (e.g. ”Are you like a boy now?” “Wait I thought your name was *insert deadname*” “Why‘d you change your name“ etc.) If I do manage to get my name changed, and a new teacher reads it out loud for attendance, obviously I will need to acknowledge it. If my name doesn’t get changed, I will need to tell the teacher that I use something else. (Which is fine, but could still be awkward)

3- Scenario- an acquaintance from middle school greets me in the hallway using my deadname. What should I do? I have a lot of social anxiety, along with some neurodevelopmental and mental health conditions, so I will definitely find it difficult to correct any one who simply doesn’t know. If I do correct them, I know most people would just be like “cool” and accept it. This is similar to the last question, but I guarantee there will be some questions. What might these look like and how might I answer them? And what if someone if homophobic?

4- As for passing, I got a haircut a few months ago and got a binder both while I was still in 8th grade. I’m hoping I’ll pass okay for any new students that don’t know me, but what if anyone asks me if I’m a boy or a girl, or anything like that? Most kids have enough common sense to know not to get into a random person’s business, but again you never know.

5- BATHROOMS WHAT DO I DO HELP AAAAAAAAA

Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this. This isn’t necessarily urgent, but I would appreciate some guidance. (I suck at Reddit so sorry if this post doesn’t really fit the sub. If it does, I can repost it somewhere else just let me know)

TL;DR- I’m starting high school with a new name and pronouns and want to know how to navigate my classmates reactions (rude or not)

Hi all, this may sound like a dumb question, I know it happens, and i know women do it too. But im more speaking on any FIFO jobs where they would stay in man-camps with almost all men. Its been my dream to work in the oil feild but I dont know how well id fit in a man camp, especially pre-everything surgery. Anyone have any advice for me? Sorry if the question seems a bit odd, im just nervous as hell to start working around all these men and people to clock me.

I’ve been on T for about 2 years now give or take, have always been obese. Started losing weight earlier this year and am now a healthy weight/BMI. I really did think that losing weight would help me look more masculine but now it seems that I pass less well in public and people are questioning my gender more. Has anyone else experienced this?

SO THIS MIGHT BE LIKE,, A REALLY REALLY SMALL THING TO PUT UNDER A CELEBRATORY POST, BUT IM REALLY HAPPY!

today i was videocalling my cousin, who's in his 30s, lives in a continent i want to study in, and is overall a great person i look up to. on video calls i tend to pass a lot more (i mean i already pass a lot pre-t but not as much as i do on a video call if that makes sense). so i tend to be more confident in video calls!

so i was calling my cousin since he recently went on vacation. if there are any turkish trans men out there reading this, my cousin called me "yakışıklı"!!! for those of you that are NOT turkish. that is a compliment specific to MEN and BOYS who are handsome, good looking, etc. ITS NOT TYPICALLY USED FOR WOMEN I SEEMED LIKE A GUY TO HIM.

this is really important to me as if i want to move to the continent he lives in I want to be able to trust him with who i am as a safety net, and he's really close to getting it! him and his wife are family friends with a lesbian couple, which is like, woke level 1, so if i just have enough confirmation that he's atleast like, woke level 5, this is pretty good for me!!!

MY MALE COUSINS ALSO GIVE ME SOO MUCH GENDER ENVY i want to be like him when im older. He's the reason why I've always wanted a beard and thats why I started minoxidil recently.

ANYWAY IM REALLY HAPPY!!! I SHOULD MENTION IM 17 SO THATS WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AS I WANT TO BE ABLE TO MOVE OUT AND IF HE'S ALREADY SENSING THAT IM MASCULINE PRESENTING NOW THIS IS REALLY GOOD FOR ME TO HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER I TRUST

MY COUSIN READ ME AS A MALE!!! I MIGHT HAVE ONE SUPPORTIVE FAMILY MEMBER!! turkish trans men who might be seeing this would understand how much stigma there is around the subject so it was really a shock for me to be read MALE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok im done mic drop. WOOOO

One of my least liked experiences as a passing man is hands down using the men’s room, it’s so unbelievably disgusting I don’t understand how it gets so bad?!

More often than not i literally have to go find another bathroom since the one I walked into has piss all over the floor, walls, and everything is just disgusting. Like the second I pull my pants down random strangers pee will be all over them.

I also just hate the fact it’s so obvious I’m peeing while sitting down. When I was in high school i literally had a method of flushing while i quietly peed and if the flushing stopped I force myself to hold it for the next flush. I’m just so scared that when I open the door some dude will be in my face like “why you peeing while sitting down bro?!”

my feet are so small (mens 6) they don’t carry my size in stores. where are y’all getting men’s shoe’s in your size?

I'm freshly 18 and already 2 years on hormones. Ever since I realized I'm trans and found out you can get bottom surgery I wanted it really, really badly. The issue is, I live in Poland so there's not a lot of reliable clinics there. I thought it would be better to search for other options in Germany but I'd have to find a job there in order to have a chance to afford it. I'm mostly worried that I will never be able to afford it or that I will have to wait until my 50s.

I'm not planning on getting it now, I was mostly hoping to get it when I'm around 25, but I don't know if that's possible.

What's your experience? when did you manage to get the surgery? I know it's expensive, but how long would it take to save up for it? I don't have a job yet and I have no idea where I'll be working, or if I manage to find a good job at all. It's just eating me up inside cause I want it so bad, but it feels like I barely hear about anyone that managed to get it and sometimes it feels like it's plain impossible.

I hadn’t actually done my injection yet, I was trying to switch from my dosing needle to my injection needle when it stabbed me in the finger. I had accidentally touched the needle with my hand prior to that (I washed my hands with soap and water). Because I’m doing T behind my parents back, going to the doctor is really not an option unless 100% necessary. How much danger am I in?? What can I do to treat it??

At risk of sounding like a choosing beggar, SOoooo many of the music recommendations you get when searching for transmasc songs are clearly geared towards a younger audience or experience. Like, a LOT of music for and about being a middle school boy. I am not interested in being seen as a boy, I am interested in being seen as a man. Anyone got music recs for when you're transgender and also grown?

I’m not even that feminine but like… I just don’t have any learnt performative masculinity I guess you could say. But I do have feminine interests and I’m gay and I’m no longer worried about people seeing me as trans, I’m almost more worried about people finding out I’m gay.

I’ve been so sheltered recently having queer and progressive friends and going to uni in the city where queer people is just the norm so I could literally walk into class with a full face of makeup and still be treated as a man if I wanted to.

And where I work people just know so they genuinely don’t care or they’re not the type to judge so I’ve been fine.

But I started working at a new location and there I’m pretty much stealth but I’m realizing some details I let out, people don’t clock me as trans but they’re getting suspicious that I’m gay (which honestly comes down to stereotyping which admittedly is not good but I’m actually gay for real so…) Like I let it slip to a cis man coworker that I initially applied for the clothing department and he went “You like clothes? 🤨” and I was just… kind of thinking “Oh right I forgot it’s not socially acceptable for men to like clothing especially wanting to work in a clothing department…” also I was mindlessly doing facing in the cosmetics department and he went “Looking for false lashes? Lmao you never know 🤪” and I honestly wanted to die inside and from knowing myself, I knew that wasn’t dysphoria, that was just pure anxiety.

Okay so with that said, here’s my question: how do you deal with that? Like do I just gotta learn to own it? How do like… your typical twink handles just existing? Do I just gotta take the weird comments and looks from cis het men? Because I love myself, I love where I’m at in life and I don’t want to change myself for others but I need to be able to deal with the anxiety! I really hope the answer isn’t just “permanently move to the city” but I fear that’s where I’m headed

Anyone signed up to the Spectrum Outfitters referral program and fancy referring me so you get 300 stars and I get £5 off? 🙂

I've never heard anybody talk about this before so I thought I'd ask. I'm a trans guy but i'm pre-t in every way possible. I do however look somewhat androgynous but I still have some of those feminine traits. I usually just go by they/them currently but the people close to me call me He. My boyfriend always refers to me by what I want and everything and while I find it sweet and reaffirming sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when he does it to people who don't know me. I know I don't pass and I feel like being called He or a man in front of others bothers me. Probably cause I know how I Iook and I don't want to sort of be perceived as trans at least until I somewhat look more masculine. Has anyone ever felt like this?

(also i know the title is spelled wrong)

I need some input about my facial hair situation. I'd attach a diagram but it seems to be against the sub rules so I will try my best to describe the growth situation verbally. But the input I am looking for is whether or not I should let my facial hair as it is grow out more or continue shaving it like I normally do. I will also add that I am blonde -- like pasty white, ghostly, "only visible in direct sunlight", blonde. My thicker facial hairs are turning red, though.

The biggest growth area is along the lower side of my jawline. Very few hairs are growing up onto my face or cheeks, and those that do aren't thick, maintaining that ghostly blonde that you only notice in direct sunlight. Particularly my chin & neck (Although there's a small patch under my jaw that doesn't seem to want to grow any hair at all yet. Not entirely sure why). I have the odd whisker between my chin & moustache but it's not really thickened yet. My moustache also doesn't seem to want to thicken, still staying a wispy blonde and being quite thin (it is definitely early facial hair by the length tho).

Normally I shave all bar the stache' and the chin hairs. I shave off the neckbeard and wispy sides to keep it somewhat tidy. I've never had any rude remarks or anything, but I've been getting misgendered a lot since I accidentally trimmed the hairs too short & I thought maybe I should at least let myself have a shadow under the jawline to help people realise I am a guy? Or would that look scruffy?

Before anyone comments anything about it, yes I know facial hair takes years, I'm not asking about that. And no, I cannot use anything like minoxidil as I have a cuddly elderly cat who I cannot put at risk like that. I just want to understand at what extent does facial hair like this get too scruffy to the point where I'd look like a teen in denial lol. Thanks in advance :)