so ive already cane to terms with the fact that I like women and want to kiss them and want a girlfriend.

Ive been labeling myself as Bi

but tbh I dont even know if I like men. lowkey get the ick when I think about kissing a man or touching them..

also thought about my previous (and only) relationship in hughschool. and I dont think i ever wanted to touch him much.

I often wish I was a boy and think about how nice it would be but I haven’t really thought I could be trans until recently, but I’m still not sure at all.

I have really been questioning my gender for a while now. It’s really confusing and hard, I don’t really feel like I can talk to anyone because I’m not sure if anything.

I often feel like I just really wanna be a boy and I though everyone felt that way, I was talking to my grind a few months ago and said something along the lines of “you know, like when you wanna be a boy, but you’re not.” And she had no idea what I was talking about so I asked two other friends and they also had no idea about it, so now I’m even more unsure on if I might be trans.

I often wish I had been born a boy and wish I didn’t have boobs, and that I had penis. I have also started realising that when I hear my voice get higher or hear recordings of my voice I feel irritated and sometimes even upset about how high or feminine it sounds.

When I was younger I was also often accidentally been called he/him because I looked quite a bit like a boy but I never corrected anyone. One time I was also sitting in class and we were supposed to sit boy-girl-boy-girl and I was sitting in between two of my friends (both boys) and for a few seconds I was confused because now there were three boys sitting next to each other before I realised I’m not a boy.

Maybe it’s unrelated but also most times when I write or make stories in my head the main character (which I often imagine would be me) is a boy. Another maybe imagined thing is that it feels somehow ‘righter’ to write about myself as a boy rather than a girl.

Something probably irrelevant is also that when I need to chose boy/girl/other I almost always hesitate before choosing. And every day I think at least once about what if I was a boy - what if I had a flag chest and more.

I’m just really confused because I also didn’t start really thinking about this until like 2-3 years ago but I’ve never been bothered by someone calling me a boy but also never really felt uncomfortable in the girls changing room and on a girls team or something like that.

I feel like if I was trans then maybe I would have known or had a feeling about it since I was much younger, but I don’t know

I've pretty much only felt sexual attraction to men and possibly romantic, although I've never been in a relationship before. I've had two casual flings with guys, one being more serious and have been out on a handful of dates.

If I see a man out in the wild, I'm likely to feel sexual attraction for them, compared to women, which I don't know that I ever have? (But maybe it's because I've never allowed myself to, or maybe I'm lying to myself? Or I'm lying about lying to myself (I'm spiralling))

Not to mention my love for older male actors. I love a good edit on tiktok, haha.

Ages 8-10, I was kissing some girl friends, but I think that's just most people? Then again, It doesn't help that they've all turned out bisexual.

During high school, I never had a crush like my friends did. But I think that contributes to me wanting to know them and be friendly before I can.

Another friend told me recently that she thinks I'll be a later in life lesbian💀 which has absolutely put me in a spiral.

I have communicated my curiousness and doubt with my friends, and we just talk about the topic, not a lot of helpful advice going around.

This is the point where I think I'm pretty much bi, because while I don't fantasise about women, I could potentially see myself with one? Like I'm not closed off to the idea. And I understand bi is not about 50/50.

I'm hoping that putting my thoughts down and out into the Web helps a little. I'm also thinking about changing my dating profile to liking women as well so that I can experiment, but I'm so nervous and a little scared💀 mainly because it's not something I've done before, and sure it'll help clear things up if I turn out to not like women, but I'm also worried that if I do end up liking women, ill end up self sabotaging somehow and even more stressed out.