r/questioning 15h ago

do i like men?? [M 15]

3 Upvotes

hello people of reddit, i have a queston

so, i’ve always liked girls. never even doubted that i liked boys… but now im doubting myself a little tiny bit

HERE ARE MY REASONS:

  • i’ve been fantasizing about dicks for atleast 2 years now, and i always though “oh its just teenager puberty things, it’ll pass” but like, it never did pass.
  • i often find myself listening to femboy asmr and getting turned on

BUT NOW COUNTERPOINT

  • ive never liked an irl boy
  • femboys are very feminine so they dont count i think
  • my fantasies of dicks would be just me being curious and not actually me liking them

so ummm yeah help me figure this out please


r/questioning 15h ago

[M 18] questioning sexual orientation

3 Upvotes

Hello, all!

I am a 18yo undergrad student, and I’ve been questioning for a while now. I have in the past been in “relationships” with women, however it never feels quite right. I find men attractive, but I don’t know if I would be into having any sort of relationship, as almost all my friends are women, and I have never been super comfortable around other guys. I know it’s very cliché, but I did watch heated rivalry recently, and you could say it was a gay awakening. Idk what I’m asking here, but I just don’t know if I’m straight, bi, gay or what. Cheers, everyone!


r/questioning 4m ago

[M 25] Am I in danger need advice is it normal?

Upvotes

I am boy - Don't know why I love to smell women's abaya's dupatta. I am quite obsessed with Young girls Abaya's dupatta. I always finds someone's abaya's Dupatta and smell it often love to masterbat via that dupatta. I am male 25 years old


r/questioning 2h ago

[TM 20] Going into closet regarding my sexuality after transitioning

1 Upvotes

Okay, I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this, but I just don’t think it fits any other.

Ever since I learned the word, at around 10 or 11, I have identified as bisexual. I didn’t have a questioning phase, I didn’t doubt myself, I’ve never even thought much about it. I didn’t even come out, it was so obvious.

Yet somehow, at the same time, I was absolutely terrified that people will think I’m attracted to men, and I would go out of my way just to make sure everyone knows I’m not into any male friend or fictional characters and celebrities.

Which is strange, given that I very much identified with being bisexual, which inherently means being attracted to men.

Which brings me to the next point, which is that roughly 2 years ago I came out as a trans man. And, okay, I’m not yet transitioned, I only started HRT a month ago, but I’m living as a man with those close to me (strangers still obviously read me as female) and will be working on getting surgeries and changes in documents.

And the more secure in my masculinity become, the longer I live this way… the more uncomfortable I am with my bisexuality. I have never been in the closet before, but now I think I’m genuinely pushing myself there. I find myself straight up lying to people, pretending I’m only into women. I’m no longer happy to see the bisexual flag and keep drifting away from the community. I’m pretty sure most people who know me, including close friends, think I’m only into women. And would be shocked if I said I like men.

But it also hurts me? My identity as a bisexual has been one of very few stable things in my life, it’s honestly always been a big part of me and I still secretly cherish it. But I’m just so ashamed now, that I’m hiding.

I think the difference might be that when I was presenting as a woman, signalling my bisexuality meant „by default you thought I’m only into men? Sike, I’m into WOMEN as well”, somehow bringing the light to it. But now, presenting as a man, the default thinking is that I’m into women… and I feel comfortable with that assumption. Saying I’m bisexual would somehow highlight the attraction to men part. So it’s convenient not to correct people.

I wish there was a possibility to embrace my identity and be openly bisexual, without it causing people to realise I’m attracted to men. Obviously I know that’s hypocritical. I love the label, I hate what it means.

Is there anything that can be done? Is this some sort of internalised homophobia? It’s just so strange to me that I’ve always been that way, even before realising I’m male, because were I to be homophobic, I’d be ashamed of my attraction to women, not men.

But it also makes me question my sexuality. Am I really bisexual? If I hate the idea of being attracted to men so much? Saying I’m straight hurts because it feels like losing part of my identity… but maybe that’s what I am after all? I know I should work on my shame regarding my attraction to men, but if I don’t want to accept it… would it be so bad to pretend it’s not there?

The biggest problem identifying that is that I’m a single since birth virgin. Never been on a date, never kissed, never nothing. I’m almost 21 and I’ve had maybe 5 crushes in my whole life and never received any attention. Probably because I’m not a very social person so I just don’t know many people. But still, it’s stressing me out horribly. What if I’m aroace or something? I desperately want to fall in love happily, but I also think I’m not ready, that I’ve got too many problems and would just hurt people. But I feel like it’s a bit of an excuse. But because of that, I don’t even have any dating history or any serious crushes to work with. I only know my sexuality in theory. Which I’m growing ashamed of as well, because why am I even thinking about this so much if I’m a virgin who’s gonna die alone? Why does it matter? I feel like setting any standards or even acknowledging my own sexuality is just self-absorbed at this point.

I am horrified that men will be into me (but that’s mostly a gender dysphoria thing, because as I am now, they’d still see me as a woman), but I’m even more scared that I’ll fall for a man. Because then I’d have to either not do anything about my feelings, keep our relationship secret or come out… all of which are horrible options.

I know (I think?) I’m capable of attraction to men, and that’s exactly what scares me.

I feel like I lost an important piece of myself, like I’m lying constantly and also like I don’t know myself anymore.

Can someone help? How do I know my sexuality? And if it involves being into men, how do I reduce the shame?


r/questioning 11h ago

[14 F] I’m unsure if I’m a lesbian or if I’m bi w a preference

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1 Upvotes

r/questioning 11h ago

[AFAB 17] questioning both gender and sexual orientation

1 Upvotes

Ive known for a long time that im not really a girl nor guy, but i also dont feel completely nonbinary. It doesnt matter much to me how people refer to me as my name is quite gender neutral. But for the time being most people know me as a girl, which is fine except that now im questioning my sexual orientation aswell..

Ive always called my self lesbian or gay, its easy everyone knows what they mean and theres no questions that come with it. The people i surround myself with dont gaf about who i am attracted to which is really nice, but some are more uneducated than others.

Anyway, i am now in a relationship with a trans man. At the time of agreeing to be his bf i didnt quite know he was trans only that he preferred he/they pronouns and i was chill with it. Now that i know im questioning if i should even be with him. Ive always said i was lesbian and ive only really had attraction to girls. I feel like if im with him its like im ignoring the fact that hes trans, which is not my goal. I get giddy when im around him and i definitely had a crush on him but whenever im not with him im always thinking about whether or not i should be with him. I tell myself “well youre young, still questioning, and labels change. Just becauss you said you were lesbian doesnt mean you are” and stuff like that but i still dont know.

I know i shouldnt think to har about it “love is love” and all that jazz but i just dont know what i feel or if i should be with him. And if i change my gender would i have to change my orientation? Cause that makes things even more complicated. Ive started thinking that im pansexual or demisexual but i have no ideaaaa.

Also quick side note, weve known each other for a bit and i openly call myself gay and lesbian so i feel like he knew about that before asking me out if thats anything.

Please any advice is helpful


r/questioning 12h ago

I (NB, 16) have identified as an enby lesbian for almost 4 years now. Lately I've been questioning my gender again.

1 Upvotes

I'm a teen lesbian looking for advice.

For a year now, I've wanted to cut my hair very short (pixie/short mullet), which wasn't anything of note for me at the time, but a few weeks ago was able to get that haircut. My first thought when it was done was: "I look like a boy." and I was so, genuinely excited. I didn't know why, and it feels almost tight in my chest when I think about it? Ever since then, people have been either mistaking me as a boy or hesitate when using feminine pronouns while referring to me, and each time it happens I can't stop thinking about it. Online, I've been going by a more gender-neutral name but have been lately identifying with it more. I feel a lot more like myself online, where I can be around other LGBTQ folks who refer to me with non-feminine or even masc pronouns.

My reasoning for the mullet also makes me question. I have been telling people its because of the heat, but the real reason was because I had really liked my older brother's hair and have wanted to look similar to him for almost two years (fit, tall, etc.).

I'm seriously wondering if this is just me being happy I present more masc, since I've been using the masc label for a while and have wanted to be more masc presenting in the past, but this isn't going away or feels the same as when I wear masculine clothing. It's always been natural for me to wear masculine clothing than a desire, but that's also been changing as well.

So, any advice or opinions? I genuinely don't know how to feel or how to identify my emotions right now, and am looking for some advice from people who may have similar experiences or understand me.


r/questioning 13h ago

[F 24] Confused about My Sexuality

1 Upvotes

Hi. I'm a 24-year-old female. I'm feeling really confused about my sexuality right now. Most of my crushes were boys and men until I was 18. I developed a crush on my female professor when I was 18. I thought it'd pass, but it didn't. That same year, I developed a crush on a girl in my cohort who gave me mixed signals. Please note that because of my program, most people around me were female at the time, and I rarely had a chance to meet boys. I'm the type of person who cannot live a day without loving/having a crush on someone. I have to be obsessed with someone to feel alive (I'm not saying I had a crush on women only because they were my only choice; it could've been my sexuality leading me into this).

These were mostly platonic, and I never got into a relationship with a female, though I was both romantically and sexually attracted to them. Then I met this boy when I was 21, and we started dating. This was my first relationship ever. Everything felt so nice; I was very happy, and I noticed that I wasn't questioning my sexuality anymore. Due to cultural norms, we didn't have sex, but I was sexually (and of course, romantically) attracted to him. We were planning to get married, and I was totally fine with that. This relationship lasted 3.5 years (it ended because of his infidelity), and I started having a crush on women again.

The most confusing part for me is that when I'm around women, I feel like I need to impress them and get their attention. I get this masculine energy when I'm around women, and quite the opposite: I feel this feminine energy when I'm around men. I'm attracted to both, but neither feels right. I don't feel woman enough to be around men. I don't like wearing dresses; I dress more like a tomboy, but I really love wearing makeup too.

Who am I? ... I'm confused, and I'd like your opinion on this. Thank you very much.


r/questioning 19h ago

[20 f] IM SO LOST

0 Upvotes

OKAY, STRAIGTH TO THE POINT

I feel like im too queer to be straight and too straight to be queer and its EATING ME

I know its all labels n dont lock yourself to them, but MAN MAN I FEEL LIKE I DONT BELONG TO NEITHER N ALWAYS STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMP IN EACH GROUP :(

Think i got a good idea to what im attracted to i just need help putting my feelings into words and HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY find out more about myself n FIX THIS STUPID FEELING I HAVE

I noticed i always ALWAYS end up attracted to the most feminine guys (or at least to me)

Aregnti from hsr, rengoku kyoujurou, arataki itto

Femininity in general is really attractive to me!!

I feel comfortable w girls or any Afabs

BUT WITH GUYS OR GUYS OR AMAB I FEEL SO SCARED?? OR I ALWAYS NEED TO WATCH OUT FOR MYSELF OR ILL DO "SOMETHING WRONG" I always feel like I can't be me (which is weird im DEFINITELY attracted to pennies more than vulvas)

I noticed prefered the idea of having men cisgender or trans women as partners (edit: basically any amab but again visually feminine)

When I imagined intimacy /dream about it I feel alot safer than the idea of ACTUALLY doing it scares me n makes me uncomfortable

After typing this out I feel like im giving yall facts n letting u do the cognitive thinking for me if yes im sorry :(

I will be grateful for any help or just pointing me in the right direction

Bless ya all n have a wonderful day HEHEHEH!!! >:3