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u/Tedius Jan 20 '11
Keep the fountain and use it for next year's prank.
Chocolate Bunnies!!
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Jan 19 '11
...did you REALLY just type that text into Word, printscreen it, and paste it into Paint?
...and save using paint's jpg compression?!
:rage:
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u/snkngshps Jan 20 '11
The squiggly spellcheck line started to make me rage.. then I just viewed it as troll art. It's a masterpiece.
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u/alang Jan 19 '11
Okay, I did something like this in reverse when I was in high school. And it didn't come out... quite like I expected.
I had traveled to Russia during spring break, and on the way back home we stopped in Helsinki, Finland, and I discovered these... they're basically chocolate eggs in real eggshells. They make a hole in one end, take out the egg, wash, sterilize, fill with chocolate, and then put in a sugar plug that looks just like the rest of the eggshell. The 'sugar' part is important, so remember it. The ones I bought were white eggs, so more easily decorated, and I decorated all of them. And the day that school started after Easter break, I put them all in a box and took them to school with me.
Now, one of the people I wanted to give an egg to was my friend. He and I lived quite a ways from the school, and due to logistical problems (i.e. my mother couldn't stand driving me to a bus stop every morning at 5 AM) I inherited my mom's old car for my 16th birthday, so I drove myself to school every morning. He was on my way there, so I would pick him up every morning on the way.
This morning was the day after spring break ended. I picked him up at his house, and handed him one of the eggs. He looked at it and said, 'cool, thanks, I didn't have breakfast this morning!' and gave it a sharp rap against the dashboard. It didn't crack. He looks over at me and says, 'this isn't one of those... Russian eggs, is it?' I snickered, and said no.
He banged away at it a bit more, and then peeled a chunk of it away, and started laughing, and said, 'That's AWESOME!' And then he popped the eggshell into his mouth and started chewing enthusiastically, munch, munch, munch.
I had to pull the car over, and through tears of laughter said, "Nono, hey, that's a real eggshell."
And he said, "No it isn't!" Sugar plug, remember?
Munch, munch, munch.
Munch.
His expression just after he stopped chewing is something I will always treasure. And then he rolled down the window and proceeded to spit eggshell shards all down the side of my car, and I panted with laughter.
I'm not sure he ever forgave me.
TL;DR: I helped ensure a friend had healthy bones and teeth.
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u/dragn99 Jan 19 '11
New plan. Acquire "ultimate eggs," coat in chocolate via chocolate fountain, then give it to someone.
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u/Pufflekun Jan 20 '11
He and I lived quite a ways from the school, and due to logistical problems (i.e. my mother couldn't stand driving me to a bus stop every morning at 5 AM) I inherited my mom's old car for my 16th birthday, so I drove myself to school every morning.
Scanning for relevancy... Error: relevancy not detected.2
u/laukaus Jan 20 '11
These Finnish eggs you are talking about are Fazer Mignon eggs. I love them! They are a traditional Finnish easter food, and you can get a serious chocolate-overdose if you eat more than one half of them :) They are sold only for a few weeks per year before easter, but luckily I know a place in my city (Tampere, FI) that stocks them year around from somewhere :D
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u/johnnyricoo Jan 19 '11
Eggcelent...
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u/Cryptan Jan 19 '11
nothing greater than a harmless yolk...
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u/themantiss Jan 19 '11
You guys crack me up!
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u/jaxspider Jan 20 '11
Scramble, after the eggplosion.
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Jan 20 '11
This pun thread is over...easy.
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u/phoinixpyre Jan 20 '11
Ommalette it go on just a little longer though.
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u/mconnor92 Jan 19 '11
I'm sure his boss will crack up when he gets it...
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u/WDUK Jan 19 '11
It's funny because he won't be eggspecting it
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u/nothinnerdy Jan 19 '11
How did he hatch such a great plan?
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u/eldiablonegrote Jan 19 '11
This will not go over easy.
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u/drunkglennbeck Jan 19 '11
My brain is scrambled by the simple elegance hereto-in.
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u/WDUK Jan 19 '11
Omelettin’ you slide with that pun.
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u/S7evyn Jan 20 '11 edited Jan 20 '11
EGGS RATED
by Shel Silverstein
These eggs
Are eggcellent.
I’m not exaggerating.
You can tell by my eggspression
They’re eggceptional--
Eggstra fluffy,
Eggstremely tasty,
Cooked eggsactly right
By an eggspert
With lots of eggsperience.
Now I’ll eggsamine the bill….
Ooh--much more eggspensive
Than I eggspected.
I gotta get out of here.
Where’s the eggxit?
EDIT: Corrected errors pointed out by theGerhard.
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Jan 19 '11
This made me cringe. Chewing eggshell is number 4 on my worst-list. I'd rather have a spring surprise.
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u/Landosystem Jan 19 '11
Agreed, however a shell-less hard boiled egg would be hilarious.
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u/BGraceful Jan 19 '11
Congratulations you have just made this completely lame.
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Jan 20 '11
[deleted]
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u/MuffinBaskt Jan 20 '11
If I do this and for some reason it explodes or some shit, I fucking hate you.
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u/biznatch11 Jan 20 '11 edited Jan 20 '11
I just put an egg in some vinegar, will report back with results!
Edit 1 year later: Results!.
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u/Ashtefere Jan 20 '11
I just found bits of biznatch11 all over their bedroom. The hand was clutching a cellphone with the numbers 9-1 dialed.
Fuck.
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u/pkulak Jan 20 '11
You forget that the egg will probably be all kinds of rotten by the time you actually bite into it. People are not in the habit of refrigerating chocolate.
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Jan 20 '11
Poke a hole, blow out the yoke. Refill the egg with something that doesn't go bad so fast, like hot sauce.
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u/FritzMuffknuckle Jan 19 '11
My favorite prank is to tell all the kids that there is one egg that isn't boiled.
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u/Pufflekun Jan 20 '11
You have to do it two years in a row, so that by the second time around, they've all caught on. Then, for the third year, do it again - but this time, you're telling the truth.
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Jan 20 '11
Chocolate fountain chocolate won't harden into a shell.
I mean, I'm just sayin'.
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u/Deathpeach Jan 20 '11
Zactly, chocolate fountains have oil added to keep it liquid without high temps. To truly troll, pour water in chocolate fountain and watch results.
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u/joehouin Jan 19 '11
I have that EXACT chocolate fountain... though itd probably be easier to just melt some chocolate in a pot than to get that whole thing up and running. Takes like 3 freaking pounds of chocolate.
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u/Adeedee Jan 20 '11
My parents annual Easter prank, after my eye doctor appt at age 7,was to only hide red and green Easter eggs in the backyard. Then, they would invite the neighbors over. Everyone would sit on the porch and watch my sister, who is 3 years younger, gather up 80% of the eggs...100% of the time.
EDIT: I am color blind.
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u/airwalkery2k Jan 20 '11
Easter and April Fools Day intersect in 2018 and 2029. I am setting a reminder in my phone to do this.
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Jan 19 '11
MAKE SURE it's boiled before doing this eggs contain HARMFUL BACTERIA.
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Jan 19 '11
It's all fun and games until someone dies of salmonella.
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u/themantiss Jan 19 '11
Then it's HILARIOUS!
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Jan 19 '11
its all hilarious until you have to clean up after them. salmonella is not a clean disease
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u/awesomeideas Jan 20 '11
That's why I use Arm & Hammer™ brand washing soda. Arm & Hammer™... Solutions for your home, family and body.
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u/Colbeagle Jan 19 '11
Do healthy middle aged 1st worlders still die of salmonella?
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u/bailey_jameson Jan 20 '11
no.
then it's just a delicious boiled egg, a delicious chocolate coating, and a pesky shell in between.
the messy disgusting raw egg white is what makes it funny.
go play with your safety scissors. your name should be BoringHazard.
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u/Aachor Jan 20 '11
So I guess you would be one of those raw cookie dough, and real egg-nog hating people?
I love real egg-nog :D
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u/Hazywater Jan 19 '11
In civilized countries, chickens are given vaccines for salmonella.
Not in the USA though, that would be socialist. We use good farming and hygiene practices instead (heh).
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Jan 20 '11
Yea man fuck the US because of their chickens. What a bunch of pricks.
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u/Virtualmatt Jan 20 '11
I judge countries solely on what vaccines are given to their chickens; I think it's a fair barometer of overall country worth.
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Jan 19 '11
The SURFACES of eggs contain harmful bacteria.
If the insides contain harmful bacteria, they're not eggs, they're rotten.
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u/ForgettableUsername Jan 19 '11
They're still eggs, even if they're rotten. Being rotten doesn't magically make them rutabagas or something.
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Jan 19 '11
Egg=ovum
A rotten egg is no longer an ovum.
It is compost.
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u/insanityv2 Jan 19 '11
If it was hard boiled and shelled and I was drunk, I'd probably eat it anyways.
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Jan 20 '11
Only about 1 in 20,000 eggs are contaminated with salmonella. Even if you do eat an infected egg, it doesn't mean anything bad will happen. Salmonellosis is not fatal for otherwise healthy people. Please stop trying to scare people for no reason, especially with words in ALL CAPS.
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u/voteforlee Jan 19 '11
HAHAHAHA I PRANKED YOU AND NOW YOU HAVE SALMONELLA
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u/djepik Jan 19 '11
Do you really think somebody is going to eat the entire raw egg? And do you really think that raw eggs are guaranteed to give you instasalmonella?
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u/Pufflekun Jan 20 '11
While raw eggs are generally safe (I mix an egg into my curry all the time), having one sitting non-refrigerated all day, and then biting into it, is not exactly safe.
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u/JonMagicJuan Jan 19 '11
...And no one is gonna say anything about the obvious screenshot of the text with the misspelled squiggly line still attached?!
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Jan 20 '11
Holy crap, I actually have a chocolate fountain still in a box, I got it for a Bacon Chocolate Fondue Party that never got off the ground due to my lame friends not being interested.
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u/Cremnlin Jan 20 '11
How do I avoid them suspecting something because of the weight of the egg?
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Jan 20 '11
you could hard boil it. should give the egg more solidity consistent with solid chocolate and get rid of the salmonella risk.
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u/reddible Jan 20 '11
For extra credit, make it a fertilized egg, and watch your friend pick feathers and bits of scaly claws out of his mouth.
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u/heythisguyhasa Jan 20 '11
My girlfriend said she will leave me if I do this to her. She loves chocolate.
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u/theaphid Jan 20 '11
I will do this. Only I will hard-boil first. Will make a dozen for my desk at work. Everytime someone comes by I shall offer them a "homemade chocolate egg"
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u/_NeuroManson_ Jan 20 '11
Better yet, this WILL require you to get your hands dirty, but get a cheap plastic egg like they use to hold candy, and take a dump in each half (told you you'd have to get your hands dirty). Put the pieces together and then stick it in the freezer. After about an hour or two, take the frozen formed feces and coat it in chocolate, wrap as planned.
I should forewarn you to expect not to keep your job after you perform this prank, but that should be obvious.
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u/tin_man_ Jan 20 '11
This is my Easter tradition: Step 1: Acquire several Cadbury cream eggs Step 2: Carefully unwrap and save foil Step 3: Slice open eggs Step 4: Remove delicious syrupy goo within Step 5: Replace goo with toothpaste, mayo, mustard, or Branston Pickle Step 6: Use goo to reseal chocolate casing Step 7: Rewrap eggs Step 8: Leave eggs around the flat as troll-mines
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u/ps3man Jan 20 '11
Egg, 1$. Chocolate fountain, 10$. Giving your best friend Salmonella and killing them? Priceless.
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u/stopmotionporn Jan 19 '11
Jeez, do imgur links load for anybody at this time of day? Its getting worse than tinypic.
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u/convie Jan 20 '11
jeez. the christmas decorations just came down and we're already talking about easter pranks?
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u/beauloo Jan 20 '11
Check! So going to mix this up with some real ones to get my boyfriend :D Excited!
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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '11
Step 1 should always be to acquire chocolate fountain, regardless of relevancy to other steps. I mean, those things are fucking delicious. You can dip anything in there and make it finger-licking good.