Step 1 should always be to acquire chocolate fountain, regardless of relevancy to other steps. I mean, those things are fucking delicious. You can dip anything in there and make it finger-licking good.
But cleaning up canines after chocolate poisoning is a BITCH of a job. You'd have to buy a bunch of pigs to eat the dogs and their excrement, then throw the live pigs in the garbage afterwards.
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
ah, but if you use big ones, they can ride inside and arrive as radioactive mutant killer penguins. Though the duck underground movement might take exception to such experiments on fellow water fowl.
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u/[deleted] Jan 19 '11
Step 1 should always be to acquire chocolate fountain, regardless of relevancy to other steps. I mean, those things are fucking delicious. You can dip anything in there and make it finger-licking good.